I've never felt so lost in my life. Or maybe I've always been this way and I'm just now realizing that as far as this (life) goes I really have uttlerly no idea what the fuck is going on.

Today I'm going to be lazy and not type my entry. Behold:

A combination of a series of philisophical debates with a friend along with a month of smoking marijuana resulting in my brain taking a different track on which to run its train of thought has made me truly realize that I'm going to die one day. Obviously, I always knew that I would, but it really hit me recently. Not only that, but I'm realizing ( Read more... )

I was actually pretty surprised to hear the other day that August was almost over. It feels like it was the end of July just last week, but my mind feels like it's lost the concept - or at least the importance - of time. Or maybe it's just that this summer has been so monotonous that one day really isn't any different from the day before or after ( Read more... )

I wish I'd just choke on some spit and die already. I can't go three months these days without doing something permanant and STUPID.

Went to Orientation. Everyone there is pretty cool and I believe I can take advantage of the athletic opportunities on campus to get in shape - something I've been meaning to do for years. I'm naturally athletic, but I just never put forth the effort to utilize that ( Read more... )

I need help. I know that I need help. I'm not living what anyone would consider to be a healthy life. I've cut myself off from people socially both intentionally and unintentionally, and it feels as if there's no logical structure to the way that I think and few sporadic moral judgements. And I can't focus on anything longer than a few moments. It ( Read more... )

I never understood why people use other peoples' quotes to prove a point. If I didn't believe or agree with YOU, why should I suddenly agree because someone ELSE said it? To join the crowd? Because it sounds cool? I guess because suposedly this dead guy said something that you didn't, and if that's true then why didn't YOU just say it?

I hardly update these things (myspace, livejournal... haven't even bothered with facebook beyond registering) anymore. The Internet has grown rather dull in my honest opinion, and beyond playing Ragnarok (which I am addicted to) I'm barely on anymore ( Read more... )