Is anyone still out there???
I've been out-of-the-loop as of late, so I decided I'd write and share with those who may still care, or even still read live journal. Mostly this isn't about sharing it at all, but therapeutic for myself. If you don't want to read my recent musings, skip this area altogether:
This past month has been as busy as I expected it to be. October has been one fun ride-scary and stressful at times, full of fun and merriment at others. At the beginning of the month was my high school reunion. It was important for me to go, even though I wasn't sure how many of my closest friends would be actually be attending. Donny came to my house and Rob, me and Donny all went together. I thought Rob might feel uncomfortable, but he was busy taking photos of people and activities. I spent way too much time talking and dancing than taking any photos myself, or eating very much. It felt good that people I actually have gotten to know more recently, actually wanted to spend time with me, and have fun. I talked to people that I really only considered an aquaintance, and surprisingly, they were quite nice to reminisce with. I can't wait to keep in touch with them, and share other stories, both old and new.
The next fun outing was going to see Jeffie's show of The Rocky Horror Show. I liked the choreography the most, the set was quite impressive, and the characters were all quite entertaining. I could definitely appreciate the attention to the little nuances in each character, because I actually enjoy seeing the musical version more than the movie. It's more well rounded, and developed. It basically makes more sense to me, character-wise. I knew what was the sequence of dialog and scenes which are different than the movie, and this performance was truly inspired. I loved almost everyone from the "Trixies," to the "Frank." The criminologist was a little bit disturbing, and the Eddie reminded me of Elvis crossed with the Wolfman. His singing was not that impressive either, but his interaction with his Columbia was much more entertaining and definite chemistry. Truly everyone was having a good time! It seemed everyone came out of the theatre with a great experience! If I could only channel this manic energy of this Columbia!! Wow!
Then came tech week, and the performances of "Oliver." It was great for me to be involved in the show, because I made many more friends, and everyone truly cares about one another. For those of you who didn't know, I was not only a townsperson, but I also played "Old Sally" which meant I got to have my scene, and then die. My character had a pivotal point of being the bringer of the truth to where Oliver actually came from and who he is. So, I had many nights of great performances, which I truly was proud of myself because I suffer from stage fright. I forced myself to do these things and do things well, because it's even worse to bare your soul on stage and die horribly, then to never have tried to fight the fears at all. I was very proud of my accomplishments, and my singing, to which that is my next hurdle to get over. Singing alone in public. I can sing, but I get afraid, and then I sing very quietly and weakly. I would like to strengthen my singing with voice lessons, because I have potential, if I just make the effort to channel these things. If not, I have no one but myself to complain about. Granted, I feel afraid to sing around my talented friends, because they can sing their hearts out. I gotta deal with this or get off the pot, so to speak. (Enjoying mixing my metaphors....)
My greatest challenge to date, came in the form of my surgery. The day after the last show, I went in for my tonsillectomy on Monday morning. I wasn't 100% sure of exactly what I would be going through, but I knew it'd be tough, and I'd have to rely on others to handle things until I was back on my feet. What I endured was excruciatingly painful, and never ending week of hell. The doctor had to dislocate my jaw to open it wide enough to get to my tonsils. I suffer from TMJ so therefore, I already have problems with my mouth not opening and many other things with my teeth. The doctor had used a tool to press upon my upper palate, and pull my lower jaw down, and pull my tongue out farther. When I woke up, at least my mouth was closed, and back in place, but my tongue, mouth, and throat were extremely swollen. My esophagus, jaw, teeth, and upper palate were all bruised and scraped. My ears suffered extreme pain, such as an earache would produce, and I couldn't swallow anything for relief. No drinks of water, or pills were helpful, at least in the first 2 days. I forced myself to take to the pills, because I couldn't take the liquid pain medication, it literally would make me vomit just with the horrible smell. The pill was huge, and it had to take it broken in half. I had to work up to preparing for the pain afterwards, even though the pain was increasing. I took the pain meds every 2 hours 45 minutes, but I took the antibiotics as normal every 12 hours. Mmmmm, liquid, tasted like bubble gum! That was the easy one! I eventually was able to eat after about a week, and anyone who ever says to eat ice cream, tell them to shove it up their nose, because that's just as painful. I know it was for the best, but it was not enjoyable at all. Not a relief food for sure...... My biggest obstacle was not being able to talk. I couldn't express how painful and difficult things were, except with writing it down. Sometimes writing doesn't quite get the importance of things through as you'd like them to be. I was thankful for the help I did get, but I was disappointed with the way things were at home. When you're ill or incapacitated, you're at the mercy of others to handle things, and sometimes it isn't always the way you'd do things. I had to learn to cope, but I felt aggravated because normal upkeep and certain pet schedules weren't kept up. Some people would get apathetic and just say, well, I'll get to things when I can and do them my way, but others would say I can't wait to get back to normal so things are taken care of like they need to be done. Illness is a big inconvenience to a Type A personality like myself.
If anyone who reads this doesn't know, Beth and Greg have been living at our home for approximately 1 1/2 months now. This is supposed to be for a few days to a month, and it's been ongoing for longer. It's very stressful and upsetting to the household, because of the cats, mostly. For those of you who don't know, we have a single home and we have cats. We have them mostly down in our basement, and it's been difficult not having them up and about, spending time, with them, making sure they're healthy, and keeping them on their food and meds schedules. We've got older and weaker ones, who do need attention. It's hard when I have to keep them away, so the house doesn't smell bad, and keep away in case anyone has allergies. Yes, it's hard. If you've been to the house lately, I think it smells right now. So, it bothers me very much. I'm ashamed, but I'm also remembering it's their house too. Rob and I try very hard to keep things clean, and also nice. We may not have the nicest furniture right now, but that's because it's not always pet friendly. (Those of you who have pets know what I mean)
The next new change in the house is my new second job that I just acquired. I need the money, because, well, I have expenses, and I want to have money for the holidays. I can't wait to see family since I don't see them very much these days. This is going to be even more stressful for me, because there's not enough time in the day to accomplish everything to it's fullest. It's all about time-management, and I can do it, as long as it's done the way I want it to be done. Then I don't have to back-track to get it done. Rob and I have some sort of system for some things, and with me being gone for 12 hours a day 5 days a week, it's going to be even more important to keep things the way I need them to be. I want my cousin to come up and stay with me, because she is like my sister, and I miss her. I miss seeing my other friends as well. Things need to change very soon, because this is not a permanent situation. I help friends, but not where it bleeds me dry. I can only give so much before I just am sucked dry. I truly hope that our friends wouldn't do that to us. I need my home back to normal, and on a normal schedule. I need to find a home for the cat family that is great amongst themselves, or at least without other cats in the home. They're great one-on-one with people. Father, Mother, and son---good, smart cats. Truly a joy to have, but I just can't do it anymore to my home, and family, and mostly to themselves. They deserve more than the life they're leading now. Shelters can't fit them in, they're already overcrowded and I don't want them destroyed. If anyone knows anyone that would love to take them time, and have a good pet, let me know. I can screen them, and make sure it'd be a good fit. I want them to have good homes, even though it's still a burden on us.
Now, I've just went to the "Anything Goes" audition, at Mt. Carmel. I was truly afraid to go in for the singing because I knew my voice wasn't back up yet, but I'd at least but forth the effort for experience. I knew I'd do just fine for the tap audition, (which truly was a piece of cake) so I'd at least like to get a part as one of the Angels. I'll be sad and disappointed if I don't at least get that. I also read for the part of Hope, which isn't a strong singing part, but it is a lead part, none the less. I won't but devastated if that doesn't come to fruition, but at least, I got to feel more comfortable reading for a part. I've been through three years of theatre, and doing acting monologues for festivals isn't a problem for me. It's feeling my character and being free to be someone else for a little while that's more liberating. But, again, I'm not gonna die. There's other shows, and other auditions to go to. Life is full of surprises! Onward and upwards!
In my long book conclusion today, I'd like to end on a few thoughts: I'm taking things day by day, trying to stay strong and focused on the important things not the little things that can bring me down. If I get moody, I'm really sorry, and I just want to have things back to normal. I truly love my friends, and I hope they care and respect me too. Life is full or ups and downs, joys and disappointments. I'm hoping that the holidays and beyond bring many more moments of joy to all of us. Let's take care of one another, and do the right things. Karma is a bitch.
This past month has been as busy as I expected it to be. October has been one fun ride-scary and stressful at times, full of fun and merriment at others. At the beginning of the month was my high school reunion. It was important for me to go, even though I wasn't sure how many of my closest friends would be actually be attending. Donny came to my house and Rob, me and Donny all went together. I thought Rob might feel uncomfortable, but he was busy taking photos of people and activities. I spent way too much time talking and dancing than taking any photos myself, or eating very much. It felt good that people I actually have gotten to know more recently, actually wanted to spend time with me, and have fun. I talked to people that I really only considered an aquaintance, and surprisingly, they were quite nice to reminisce with. I can't wait to keep in touch with them, and share other stories, both old and new.
The next fun outing was going to see Jeffie's show of The Rocky Horror Show. I liked the choreography the most, the set was quite impressive, and the characters were all quite entertaining. I could definitely appreciate the attention to the little nuances in each character, because I actually enjoy seeing the musical version more than the movie. It's more well rounded, and developed. It basically makes more sense to me, character-wise. I knew what was the sequence of dialog and scenes which are different than the movie, and this performance was truly inspired. I loved almost everyone from the "Trixies," to the "Frank." The criminologist was a little bit disturbing, and the Eddie reminded me of Elvis crossed with the Wolfman. His singing was not that impressive either, but his interaction with his Columbia was much more entertaining and definite chemistry. Truly everyone was having a good time! It seemed everyone came out of the theatre with a great experience! If I could only channel this manic energy of this Columbia!! Wow!
Then came tech week, and the performances of "Oliver." It was great for me to be involved in the show, because I made many more friends, and everyone truly cares about one another. For those of you who didn't know, I was not only a townsperson, but I also played "Old Sally" which meant I got to have my scene, and then die. My character had a pivotal point of being the bringer of the truth to where Oliver actually came from and who he is. So, I had many nights of great performances, which I truly was proud of myself because I suffer from stage fright. I forced myself to do these things and do things well, because it's even worse to bare your soul on stage and die horribly, then to never have tried to fight the fears at all. I was very proud of my accomplishments, and my singing, to which that is my next hurdle to get over. Singing alone in public. I can sing, but I get afraid, and then I sing very quietly and weakly. I would like to strengthen my singing with voice lessons, because I have potential, if I just make the effort to channel these things. If not, I have no one but myself to complain about. Granted, I feel afraid to sing around my talented friends, because they can sing their hearts out. I gotta deal with this or get off the pot, so to speak. (Enjoying mixing my metaphors....)
My greatest challenge to date, came in the form of my surgery. The day after the last show, I went in for my tonsillectomy on Monday morning. I wasn't 100% sure of exactly what I would be going through, but I knew it'd be tough, and I'd have to rely on others to handle things until I was back on my feet. What I endured was excruciatingly painful, and never ending week of hell. The doctor had to dislocate my jaw to open it wide enough to get to my tonsils. I suffer from TMJ so therefore, I already have problems with my mouth not opening and many other things with my teeth. The doctor had used a tool to press upon my upper palate, and pull my lower jaw down, and pull my tongue out farther. When I woke up, at least my mouth was closed, and back in place, but my tongue, mouth, and throat were extremely swollen. My esophagus, jaw, teeth, and upper palate were all bruised and scraped. My ears suffered extreme pain, such as an earache would produce, and I couldn't swallow anything for relief. No drinks of water, or pills were helpful, at least in the first 2 days. I forced myself to take to the pills, because I couldn't take the liquid pain medication, it literally would make me vomit just with the horrible smell. The pill was huge, and it had to take it broken in half. I had to work up to preparing for the pain afterwards, even though the pain was increasing. I took the pain meds every 2 hours 45 minutes, but I took the antibiotics as normal every 12 hours. Mmmmm, liquid, tasted like bubble gum! That was the easy one! I eventually was able to eat after about a week, and anyone who ever says to eat ice cream, tell them to shove it up their nose, because that's just as painful. I know it was for the best, but it was not enjoyable at all. Not a relief food for sure...... My biggest obstacle was not being able to talk. I couldn't express how painful and difficult things were, except with writing it down. Sometimes writing doesn't quite get the importance of things through as you'd like them to be. I was thankful for the help I did get, but I was disappointed with the way things were at home. When you're ill or incapacitated, you're at the mercy of others to handle things, and sometimes it isn't always the way you'd do things. I had to learn to cope, but I felt aggravated because normal upkeep and certain pet schedules weren't kept up. Some people would get apathetic and just say, well, I'll get to things when I can and do them my way, but others would say I can't wait to get back to normal so things are taken care of like they need to be done. Illness is a big inconvenience to a Type A personality like myself.
If anyone who reads this doesn't know, Beth and Greg have been living at our home for approximately 1 1/2 months now. This is supposed to be for a few days to a month, and it's been ongoing for longer. It's very stressful and upsetting to the household, because of the cats, mostly. For those of you who don't know, we have a single home and we have cats. We have them mostly down in our basement, and it's been difficult not having them up and about, spending time, with them, making sure they're healthy, and keeping them on their food and meds schedules. We've got older and weaker ones, who do need attention. It's hard when I have to keep them away, so the house doesn't smell bad, and keep away in case anyone has allergies. Yes, it's hard. If you've been to the house lately, I think it smells right now. So, it bothers me very much. I'm ashamed, but I'm also remembering it's their house too. Rob and I try very hard to keep things clean, and also nice. We may not have the nicest furniture right now, but that's because it's not always pet friendly. (Those of you who have pets know what I mean)
The next new change in the house is my new second job that I just acquired. I need the money, because, well, I have expenses, and I want to have money for the holidays. I can't wait to see family since I don't see them very much these days. This is going to be even more stressful for me, because there's not enough time in the day to accomplish everything to it's fullest. It's all about time-management, and I can do it, as long as it's done the way I want it to be done. Then I don't have to back-track to get it done. Rob and I have some sort of system for some things, and with me being gone for 12 hours a day 5 days a week, it's going to be even more important to keep things the way I need them to be. I want my cousin to come up and stay with me, because she is like my sister, and I miss her. I miss seeing my other friends as well. Things need to change very soon, because this is not a permanent situation. I help friends, but not where it bleeds me dry. I can only give so much before I just am sucked dry. I truly hope that our friends wouldn't do that to us. I need my home back to normal, and on a normal schedule. I need to find a home for the cat family that is great amongst themselves, or at least without other cats in the home. They're great one-on-one with people. Father, Mother, and son---good, smart cats. Truly a joy to have, but I just can't do it anymore to my home, and family, and mostly to themselves. They deserve more than the life they're leading now. Shelters can't fit them in, they're already overcrowded and I don't want them destroyed. If anyone knows anyone that would love to take them time, and have a good pet, let me know. I can screen them, and make sure it'd be a good fit. I want them to have good homes, even though it's still a burden on us.
Now, I've just went to the "Anything Goes" audition, at Mt. Carmel. I was truly afraid to go in for the singing because I knew my voice wasn't back up yet, but I'd at least but forth the effort for experience. I knew I'd do just fine for the tap audition, (which truly was a piece of cake) so I'd at least like to get a part as one of the Angels. I'll be sad and disappointed if I don't at least get that. I also read for the part of Hope, which isn't a strong singing part, but it is a lead part, none the less. I won't but devastated if that doesn't come to fruition, but at least, I got to feel more comfortable reading for a part. I've been through three years of theatre, and doing acting monologues for festivals isn't a problem for me. It's feeling my character and being free to be someone else for a little while that's more liberating. But, again, I'm not gonna die. There's other shows, and other auditions to go to. Life is full of surprises! Onward and upwards!
In my long book conclusion today, I'd like to end on a few thoughts: I'm taking things day by day, trying to stay strong and focused on the important things not the little things that can bring me down. If I get moody, I'm really sorry, and I just want to have things back to normal. I truly love my friends, and I hope they care and respect me too. Life is full or ups and downs, joys and disappointments. I'm hoping that the holidays and beyond bring many more moments of joy to all of us. Let's take care of one another, and do the right things. Karma is a bitch.