Lumos Sorting Application

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LUMOS SORTING APPLICATION

Name: Greenie.
Age: Seventeen.
Location: About an hour as the crow flies from Sydney, Australia.
Where did you hear about this community? emeraldserpent.
How much time are you willing to invest in this community? As much as I can spare. Usually more than I think I will.

PART 1 - Canon

1. Have you read all the books?Of course! I hardly think I’d be applying to this community if I hadn’t. I read the first two a short time before Prisoner of Azkaban was released, thanks to the promptings of a friend. I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about them, at first, however with the release of Goblet of Fire, I bought the softcover ‘set’. I didn’t have internet access at that point in time, but my friend and I used to write really bad self-insertion fic which made our school a sister-school to Hogwarts. When I got the internet, I immediately registered a fanfiction.net account… and discovered fandom, fanon, Mary Sues and other characteristics which are still with me today, three years later. I now own all five books as well as their Adobe Acrobat equivalent, and while I don’t constantly reread them, I reference them enough that they’ve had good use. Currently my brother is rereading the series for the HBP release - I’m a fast reader, so I can wait a couple of weeks before I have to start thinking about that.

2. Give us your personal interpretation of each Hogwarts house:
Gryffindor: In canon, Gryffindor is the most 3D of all the houses, generally because it contains the most characters we interact with, and each of them are different. Its obvious traits, as listed by the Sorting Hat, are boldness and courage; fitting with its animal representation of a lion.

However Gryffindors may show their bravery in differing ways. Harry and his father, are two obvious examples of Gryffindors who believe generally in playing fair, yet are quick to break rules, but also show much courage (Harry facing up against Voldemort, James saving Snape from Remus-as-werewolf.)

Ron and the Weasleys represent the more fiery side of Gryffindor, also present in Sirius Black; Gryffindors can be loud and outspoken - their boldness can translate itself to brashness, and they can be quick to attack (and just as quick to defend.) It is this Gryffindor stereotype (and I use the word loosely, because it’s based in canon fact) which gives rise to the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor, two similar houses with slightly differing moral attitudes.

Then again, there are the more confusing Gryffindors. Hermione is brave, yes, and her original aversion to breaking school rules makes her noble, but with her determination to do well and love of research, wouldn’t she have done far better in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? Of course, perhaps the Sorting Hat considered both these houses for her, but I prefer the metaphysical idea that Hermione, as Rowling’s pet character (which she so is!) needed to be in Gryffindor for plot purposes, but Rowling refused to let that define her personality absolutely.

We see this in Peter Pettigrew and Neville Longbottom, too. Neville has the courage given to those who are afraid of everything, wherein step through life is an act of bravery. In addition, it could be argued that for Rowling’s prophecy idea to work well we would need to get to know Neville and for him to be more than a name and a face, he would have to be placed in Gryffindor, in Harry’s year.

As for Peter, well. I have three arguments for his placement. The first is similarly metaphysical - that since his three other friends were in Gryffindor, to have him as the odd man out among the Marauders (more-so than he already is, I mean) would be difficult, to say the least. Secondly, the man we see in Prisoner of Azkaban and even the boy we see during Snape’s Worst Memory is older and has changed since the Sorting Hat rifled through his mind and declared him Gryffindor. People invariably change and grow more complex, and perhaps when Peter was eleven his singular defining characteristic was bravery.

The third argument is that he is in fact a brave and courageous man, however in a paradoxical way he is also a coward. Peter obviously fears death, for everything he does seems to be him trying to escape it… however certain actions of his don’t quite fit with that picture. He spied for a year on his friends, which certainly takes the courage of one’s convictions, and he then took the risk of faking his own death and implementing Sirius Black. To do this, he cut off his finger. Later, he would cut off his entire right hand in the name of his Lord. He returns to Voldemort, when he didn’t really need to, and yet he still manages to stand up to him in a way, trying to convince him that Harry’s blood wasn’t really necessary. He is not loyal, no, but loyalty has never been a Gryffindor quality; just a quality Dumbledore emphasises.

The main thing about Gryffindors is that Rowling has chosen to write them, with the exception of Peter, as the Good house, the Right and Righteous house. Dumbledore, who is the true nemesis of the Oh-So-Evil Lord Voldemort, was once Head of Gryffindor. Harry Potter, hero of the books and Saviour of the Wizarding World, is a Gryffindor who was able to pull Godric’s sword from the Sorting Hat. They are Good. Any inter-house fighting is merely the usual teenage scuffles, and McGonagall is seen as firm but fair despite her obvious bias towards her house (not that she isn’t the coolest witch in the series!) The entire house reeks of Boys Own Good Fun. And of course, with even the Headmaster clearly biased (for all his unity posturing) Gryffindor is likely to come out on top.

It merely worries me when harsh pranks such as we see the Marauders pull on Snape (and yes, I know he gave as good as he got, well done him, that doesn’t make them any better) and Fred and George pull on numerous people are passed off as the Good thing to do. Because the twins and the Marauders are better than Those Slimy Slytherins, that immediately makes it okay for them to do whatever they want. Let’s face it; Gryffindors would make excellent Death Eaters because of their righteousness, the courage of their convictions. In truth, many of them (especially Sirius) are just hypocrites - despising the ‘dark’ in a generalisation that is similar to the way Death Eaters despise Muggleborns and Muggles.

I’m not saying all Gryffindors are terrible people, but I think too many people take what is an extremely complex house at face value. I could ramble about Gryffindors for ages, because the assortment of characters mean the house mentality runs far deeper than a simple ‘brave’ can put voice to.

Hufflepuff: The badgers are no less complex than the lions. Hufflepuffs are also stereotyped - this time, as the ‘dumb’ house. Hagrid says that they’re ‘all duffers’ (but Hagrid deals in generalisations and misinformation regularly in the first book.) Fandom and fanon has turned them into the silly house, the cheerful house, the bumbling, bubbling, stick-in-the-mud kind of house.

This is drawn from fact, but is not the entirety of the house. Firstly, consider the canon traits of Hufflepuff. The Sorting Hat says they are loyal - to their friends, to a cause, to the school, and so on. It gives them the key trait of determination. It also says something which has caused much debate in fandom - that Helga would take ‘all the rest, and treat them all the same.’

This gives an impression of being a leftovers house. Not brave, intelligent or ambitious? Then off too Hufflepuff with you! However it also demonstrates another key quality of Hufflepuff in its founder: acceptance. Hufflepuffs are tolerant people, and Helga Hufflepuff was willing to accept children from all walks of life into her house.

In canon, we see a fair bit of the Hufflepuffs - first in Chamber of Secrets, where they are portrayed as gossips and rumourmongers. They are horrified by Harry, heir of Slytherin - and of course, stick loyally by Justin, one of their own. However this, as well as Draco and Hagrid’s brush-off of the badgers, does not give a fantastic first impression.

However, people are naturally complex. A discerning reader will know that Hufflepuffs are not all made from the same mould. Then comes Cedric - brave, gallant, not to mention gorgeous. We discover Ernie Macmillan is full of his house’s determination as he studies almost frantically, with a timetable to rival Hermione’s! We meet Zacharias Smith, who dislikes Harry (and presumably blames him for Cedric’s death) but is still willing to join the Defence Association and listen to what Harry is going to say.

However we also see a hysterical side to Hufflepuffs in canon - not just their reaction to Harry “Dark Lord” Potter in second year, but in Phoenix we see (Hannah Abbott? I don’t have my text) have a fainting fit over the O.W.L.s. JKR has numerous little hints that Hufflepuffs are duffers - indeed, the name itself implies a level of silliness, far more so than the other houses. Yellow seems such a bright and shiny colour. With the house symbol being a badger, you would expect them to be earthy, and cute but vicious when provoked. Because remember, they are not just yellow, but yellow and black.

“Real” Hufflepuffs are often very different to the stereotype. Fandom is divided on Hufflepuff - some part of it boxes them into the idea of silly, and then dismisses them. The rest of them believe Hufflepuff should never, ever be misaligned, because clearly they are SO COOL. (And then there are those who don’t particularly care.) Sorting communities tend to send cheerful, determined bouncy people to Hufflepuff - but not idiots. I can see where people can get the idea from, but like any other human being, a Hufflepuff is far more than the brief glimpse of them we see in the books. Hufflepuffs are determined. Hufflepuffs are loyal. Hufflepuffs would make the best Death Eaters of all - except they are also equal-minded, so raising purebloods above Muggleborns isn’t really a Hufflepuff trait. Certainly, they’re not elitist (and when you’re so maligned, can you afford to be?) Hufflepuff is a great house to be in, and I imagine with such loyalty, and with an earthy woman such as Professor Sprout as their Head, the Hufflepuff Common must be a warm and friendly place to be.

Ravenclaw: We’re travelling in alphabetical order, and have arrived at the house which is known littlest about - the Ravenclaws!

When I say Ravenclaw, you think: smart. Ravenclaws are Sorted because of their intelligence and wit. However intelligence comes in all sorts of forms, as we see when we look at varied characters from Ravenclaw; Penelope Clearwater, Cho Chang, Marietta Edgecombe, Padma Patil and Luna Lovegood are all from Ravenclaw.

As eagles, Ravenclaws live at the top of the tower, and as the blue house, with their intellectual reputation it would be expected they would be a cold bunch. However this is just another stereotype; five Ravenclaws join Dumbledore’s army, after all.

Intelligence can show itself in creativity or in more academic pursuits. Love of knowledge can represent itself not just in class, but in all walks of life. Ravenclaws are not always the ones that do best in the school - they do not necessarily have so much of that Hufflepuff determination or Slytherin ambition, after all. No, Ravenclaws are the type that spend their time sleeping through the lectures, and still get High Distinctions on the test. You know the type, I know you do.

Penelope Clearwater, who is made Head Girl, seems to be an example of the Book Smarts which Ravenclaw has a reputation for. She and Percy are administrative together, and I think I’m correct in remembering that Hermione quite likes her?

Padma Patil is also often portrayed by fanon as bookish and quiet, however from what we see of her she is still human - she loves balls, fashion and boys as much as her Gryffindor twin, as evidenced in Goblet of Fire. She enjoys learning, but that doesn’t meant she has no personality. Cho Chang is another example - she’s popular and pretty, but she also seems smart and fairly organised.

Luna Lovegood is perhaps the strangest Ravenclaw placement - her belief in everything seems to negate what would “normally” be considered intelligence. However she shows she has her own brand of both common sense and humour, and certainly her love of learning anything is a Ravenclaw trait.

Ravenclaw does not automatically mean success, nor does it mean being able to quote big long extracts from books, or multiply large numbers together. Ravenclaws aren’t geeks and aren’t nerds. Certainly, there are those in Ravenclaw who pick on Luna and take her things (though she doesn’t seem to mind.) Ravenclaws have friends. Ravenclaws have personality. Ravenclaws - gasp, shock, horror - have drama!

Consider it. Teenagers with intelligence have been proven to be more self-analysing than those without. Of course, being placed in a house among those like you means you have less fear of losing self-esteem for being Different, but there will always be teenage angst, and Ravenclaw house must be full of it, from poetic emo kids to perfectionists who drive themselves too hard - and back again.

We the fandom did not know who the head of Ravenclaw House was for quite some time. Rowling eventually told us it was Flitwick - the tiny little man who is immensely cheerful; and friendly, and also a Charms professor. Charms and charming. (Oh, somebody shut me up.)

Ravenclaw are also probably the most accepted house! Slytherins, for example, are less likely to look down on Ravenclaws, given their reputation for being intelligent and elite. Hufflepuffs are friendly to everyone, and Ravenclaw therefore has no specific house who despises them (Gryffindors dislike Slytherins, Slytherins dislike Hufflepuffs - I’m generalising here.) Ravenclaws aren’t seen as the Evil house or the Good house or the Dumb house; they’re the Smart house. And it’s as much of a stereotype as the other three are, and probably equally as degrading in some ways.

Imagine that just because of where a weird talking hat put you, the teachers expect you to do brilliantly in all your exams. Say what? You’re not interested in Potions and Charms, you have a passion for the medieval times. You know everything there is to know about them and crave to learn more. You’re a Ravenclaw, yes, but if everyone expects success from you then they’re looking to the wrong house - or at least, the wrong member of the house.

I cannot emphasise enough that humans are naturally different. Yes, we can be grouped together by similar characteristics, but whether there are thirty-two or a hundred and twenty kids in each year (JKR: “Oh no, Maths!”) they are not going to be able to be properly stereotyped. Not everyone is going to fit the mould of their house, especially not as they speed through adolescence and gradually become more complex.

Slytherin: Last, but certainly not least. In fact, Slytherin is my house of Meta love, so you’ll have to excuse me if I ramble.

Let’s begin with Snape - certainly, that’s my favourite place to start. Head of Slytherin House and more complex than a book full of Mensa math puzzles. He is a horrible, horrible person, yes - but JKR proves that you do not have to be Nice to be Good.

And that’s the mistake so many people make with the Slytherins. They have the worst stereotype; Slytherins are considered evil. Hagrid says: “There wasn’t a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn’t in Slytherin.” Of course, Hagrid is King of misinformation - after all, Peter came from Gryffindor. Hagrid, of course, didn’t know Pettigrew was a Dark Wizard - but he certainly believed Sirius Black was one, and he was a Gryffindor’s Gryffindor. But this quote sets the tone for the books.

It was Salazar Slytherin, the House founder, who could talk to snakes (a dubious quality if ever there was one, as innocuous as Harry seems to see it) and who insisted for his own reasons that Hogwarts be only open to pureblood students.

His heir, Tom Riddle, opened the Chamber of Secrets and killed a student, and then blamed it on Hagrid. He grows up to become Lord Voldemort, who gathers an army to wage war against the Wizarding world (holy CRAP alliteration) and plunges it into darkness for about eleven years.

Harry’s number one rival, Draco Malfoy, is from Slytherin. His evil father, Lucius, was also a Slytherin. Crabbe and Goyle are their stupid Slytherin bodyguards. Millicent Bulstrode beats up Hermione and is in… you guessed it! Slytherin.

Everyone who is Good and Righteous in the books agrees that Slytherins are slimy gits who aren’t to be trusted. And yet.

And yet.

And yet Severus Snape is a member of the Order. Dumbledore trusts him - if not with his own life, than at least with Harry’s. Yes, Snape has twenty-odd years between his Sorting and his appearance in the books, but he isn’t Head of Slytherin House for nothing. Because yes, he too is a Slimy Git. He seems to hate children, and takes a cruel, vindictive pleasure in scaring them. He is ugly and imposing and forever sneering at the world. He expects perfection from everyone, but far from reaches it himself. He explodes when contradicted. He holds petty grudges for years and years and then uses them to enact sweet revenge. Generally his is a vindictive, emotional and bitter man, and he is not meant to be the favourite character of the books.

Of course, Snape has a huge fandom following (I number myself among it.) Equally as huge, and perhaps more bemusing due to his distinct lack of redeeming qualities in canon, is Draco Malfoy. And so you get the fangirls, the Hot Topic Slytherins who think it’s oh so cool to be evil.

Yet couldn’t it be argued that that’s what canon Slytherin is like? The Sorting hat says Slytherins are manipulative, cunning and ambitious - however Slytherins seem to be able to get into the House on a matter of family history. Sirius says everyone in his family was in Slytherin - because everyone was expected to be in Slytherin. Draco says he can’t imagine going anywhere else. It’s the people who want to be sorted into Slytherin that seem to end up there.

Harry himself has numerous Slytherin qualities, however his insistence of Gryffindor immediately cancels him for the house. But to have even Hogwarts numbers, someone has to get Sorted there. And so those Hot Topic Slytherins are what make up the house - a lot of Slytherin is about being wannabe now that they have gained such a bad reputation with the rest of the Wizarding world.

Fanon also mouths off about Slytherins epitomising subtlety - that a true Slytherin doesn’t have to declare themselves one, as it will be obvious. I, personally, think that this jars explicitly with what we learn from canon. Draco Malfoy is about as subtle as a heavy blow to the back of the head, and he tells Harry when they first meet that he expects to be a Slytherin.

Now, I am not exactly the world’s number one Draco fan, but he is a bit of a twat. He isn’t Harry’s biggest rival - Harry finds that in a far more powerful Slytheirn, Lord Voldemort. Draco is merely a school rival, and not even a very good one. Harry foils him time and time again. Draco’s worst deed, that we see in canon, is an empty death threat after his father’s gaoling at the end of Phoenix, and when he dresses up as a Dementor at the PoA Quidditch match - and gets trampled by Harry’s stag Patronus!

Consider also the times he has been hexed by Ron, attacked by members of the Order, slapped by Hermione, and beaten in Quidditch by Harry. He makes numerous references to his mother, who sends him sweets from home, and spends a lot of his time whining about how he wants things like the spoilt only child that he is. He buys his way onto the Quidditch team and he schmoozes his way onto the Inquisitorial Squad and he thinks getting someone else to write defamatory articles about your enemy is a triumph.

He is so unsubtle that when Dumbledore raises a toast for Cedric Diggory - a toast which by association is against Lord Voldemort - Draco doesn’t stand to participate. Is this meant to be the epitome of Slytherin house?

Yes and no. Slytherin are a stereotype - accept it, embrace it. It is obvious from the very first, in PS/SS, when Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff all triumph over Gryffindor’s glorious defeat of Slytherin. Even Dumbledore revels in giving out the points and changing the banners, rubbing the Slytherin’s loss in their faces. No-one talks to Harry and Ron when they find out the lost fifty points apiece - not just Gryffindors, but the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who don’t want Slytherin to take the cup. Slytherin are a hated and despised house.

However this is JKR’s writing. She provides surface stereotypes and then exceptions. The Slytherins are Bad and she uses them to teach a lesson about Bad People, but also to show that assumptions can be wrong. Every book, Harry assumes Snape is trying to kill him. Every book so far, he has been wrong. This could demonstrate that Harry is an idiot, but I prefer to think that J. K. is using her favourite message: appearances can be deceiving.

During the years the book is set in, there is a very particular kind of person sorted into Slytherin. However before the war, I imagine this was a different case. Voldemort and his Death Eaters all seem to be Slytherins, and now Slytherin gains its bad reputation - and as a result, only a certain type of person wants to be sorted into the house. And beware the eleven year old who says yes, I would like to be ostracised due to my house for six years because all my family have been in Slytherin.

Back in MWPP-era and before, I imagine Slytherin was as equal a house as any other; despite its Founder’s attitude. Without a reputation, there aren’t going to be so many bloodthirsty occupants. And it is this house environment that I think Sorting Communities strive to emulate - not the bullying braggarts of Harry’s year, not the Flints and Malfoys and Goyles, but more insidious Slytherins. Ambiguous motives and dark intents and a belief that they will succeed. Above all, ambition. So a house full of Severus Snape’s. A house full of Lucius Malfoy’s, even, for certainly while we see him as a bastard through Harry’s eyes, he has influence beyond what money can buy: “friends in high places”, as they saying goes, and generally we are lead to believe that he can be charismatic and manipulative. Ambitious, too - even as pureblood aristocracy with vast wealth, he strives to gain a higher foothold in society, to influence even the Minister, to catch the coat-tails of Voldemort’s rising star.

Slytherin have negative characteristics, yes, but is it a case of “there is no good and evil, only power and those too weak to seek it,” perhaps?

3. What would be your favourite flavour of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans and why?Ooooh, difficult! Favourite by definition means one, yet I’m a naturally indecisive person. I wonder if they have multi-flavour beans. Like, apricot-and-apple? Or if they just expect you to find an apricot bean and an apple bean and eat them at the same time?

But I digress. I think pfefferküchen biscuits are my favourite flavour in the entire world. If you’ve never tried them, try and get your hands on some, because they’re delicious! A mixture of spices, they taste like cinnamon and ginger and vanilla and just, yum. They remind me of my Nanna, who is Latvian and bakes them from her home recipe. She taught me how to bake them too, though mine aren’t as nice as hers. So there you go, my favourite beans would taste like not just any pfefferküchen biscuits, but Nanna’s iced Christmas pfefferküchen biscuits!

4. If you were on your House’s Quidditch Team, which position would you preferably play and why?Reluctant bystander. I don’t play sport, and I don’t really believe in House Pride, so I’d be there in the bleachers, sarcastically waving a little flag and wishing I were somewhere else. I’m really not athletic, and terrified of heights, so why I would be picked for the Quidditch team at all is beyond me.

5. What HP conspiracy theory do you hold true unless it is textually proven otherwise?There’s nothing I hold true until proven otherwise! I am a firm believer in canon, and while I’m all for theorising and filling in the gaps, I am adamant that all I am doing is theorising. Being right would be nice, but I think I’m going to like whatever JKR does better.

Besides, with too many theories, it doesn’t leave any room for the author to surprise us! And I like being surprised.

That said, I do have a few pet theories. The one which first comes to mind and I am therefore going to choose is my “Remus Is Evil” theory. Be warned that it’s speculation and I don’t really believe the truth of it so much as think it’s an interesting perspective.

Remus has never been averse to rule-breaking, no, but he has an entirely different temperament to the open, honest frolicking of James and Sirius. Remus is secretive (understandable, given what he has to hide) but he is also deceptive. He owns a wand, and attends Hogwarts, and is therefore not registered as a werewolf. He seems perfectly happy to gallivant around the school putting numerous people in danger - he later professes remorse, yes, but we never see evidence in the series that Remus is a pushover.

Of course, this doesn’t mean he’s evil, just that he’s a werewolf! But consider that Voldemort was able to convert numerous werewolves to his side by offering them… what? Safety and protection? Dumbledore offers the same things, but at what price? Remus is expected to mutilate himself monthly so he doesn’t harm other people.

So he has motivation to go over to Voldemort. And do not be mistaken by his mild-mannered brand of pacifism - Remus is cold and introverted, and we barely ever see him anxious or upset in canon. He loves baiting Snape - not openly, but subtly, seeming to be friendly and really meaning to irritate the man.

My exact theory is that there were two traitors in the group of Marauders, and I like to think they knew about each other. Remus and Peter, always second fiddle to James and Sirius, though if the order of the names on the Map shows anything, it’s that Moony and Wormtail were the creators or ideas-men behind the Marauder’s Map (since it’s certainly not alphabetical.)

So Peter, perhaps, did not spy for a year before betraying the Potters. Remus was the spy, and slipped up enough that they suspected him. Peter was instructed to become Secret Keeper and give the game up to Lord Voldemort.

But where am I drawing all of this from? My arse? Not really - as I said, it’s a theory, but it does have some support in canon.

For example, the only time in canon we see Remus truly emotional is when Sirius decides to kill Peter in the Shrieking Shack. He convinces Sirius to explain first to Harry, Ron and Hermione why he is going to kill Scabbers - rather than just performing the anti-Animagus Charm.

Remus, of course, has thought that Peter was dead - until he sees him on the Map. Then he realises Peter faked his own Death and implicated Sirius. Of course in this scenario he’s known Sirius was innocent this entire time, but if he had thought Sirius had killed Peter he might be less sympathetic towards him. That is, until he fonds out it is not the case at all.

Remus knows Harry is noble enough to save Peter - since he’s spent the last year teaching and training him. He then volunteers to be one of the people chained to Peter, and because of his lycanthropy (and Ron’s broken leg,) Peter escapes.

Now, riddle me this: Remus has been drinking Wolfsbane Potion for at least a year, probably more. He has been a werewolf since he was a very small boy. Are you honestly trying to tell me he has forgotten that tonight is the full moon? Surely he must have felt it getting larger in the sky as the month wore on, surely he must have tallied it with his last change a month before. My argument is that Remus did not, in fact, forget, but when he saw Peter Pettigrew on the map he deliberately did not take the Potion, knowing his changing into a werewolf could provide the distraction needed for his friend’s escape.

Remus still isn’t Evil as such, but he’s definitely not who we first assumed. The extent of his alliance to Lord Voldemort is something I will allow you to speculate on. Don’t believe me? Then let’s play a little game. Find a copy of Order of the Phoenix, and open to Chapter Thirty-Five: Beyond The Veil. Read through the battle between Order Members and Death Eaters, and note how many times Remus is mentioned before Sirius falls through the Veil. My count stands at… none.

6. What is your favourite book aside from HP and why?My favourite book ever is George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Each word is placed with precision, and means exactly what he meant it to mean, no more and less. Each sentence is beautifully crafted, and his grammar is perfect. His characters are interesting; dark, but above all human. But each element of his story combines to make the whole of the political message - that soon we, too, could end up in a world of thoughtcrime and doublespeak.

The way he demonstrates how the use of language and information controls the way we think is just masterful .He takes a whole heap of brilliant political ideas and manages to put them into an intensely readable format. I am in love with this book - all of this book, every word and period, every comma and quotation, every letter of the alphabet.

“Who controls the past, controls the future. Who controls the present, controls the past.”

7. What would your Room of Requirement look like?Apart from it looking exactly like Hagrid’s hut… I have three words for you:

Kinky BDSM dungeon. ;)

8. Describe your wand and tell us why you picked that design. Ah, but the wand chooses the wizard, not the wizard the wand…

My wand wouldn’t deviate too much from the norm, I would hope. A flippy thirteen inches of ebony, because I’d like a supple wand and I think colour is important, with a core of dragon-heartstring - which is my favourite of the choices available to us in canon.

I do think this is an unimportant question. My wand would do magic, that’s what matters.

PART 2 - You

9. Myers-Briggs results:Your #1 Match: INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.Your #2 Match: ISTP

The Mechanic

You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations.
A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent.
To outsiders yous eem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable.
You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people.

You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete.
Your #3 Match: ENTP

The Visionary

You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression.
You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything.
Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off.
You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments.

You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.
Your #4 Match: ESTP

The Doer

You are adventurous and risk taking. You act first, think second.
You love being the center of attention. Chances are you were the class clown.
Competitive, charming, and charasmatic - you have your own code of honor.
You live a flexible life, bouncing between a series of activies that interest you.

You would make a great salesperson, marketing director, or entrepreneur.Your #5 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

10. Who is your role model and why?I don’t have a role model. I don’t believe I should try to emulate one specific person, no matter what they mean to me or what they’ve done in their life. I don’t really understand people who do, especially not people who obsess over celebrities. I admire certain people, yes, but I prefer to do things my own way. I specifically admire Tori Amos, Bjork and Thom Yorke for their achievements, both musical and otherwise, but I wouldn’t say I am trying to imitate them in any way - and thus, no-one.

11. What would you like to have accomplished at the end of your life?Beyond anything, I want a book published. Preferably multiple books, which have sold well, have a following and make a fair amount of money. That is the dream I insist I will have made real before I die and everything in my life is experience that leads towards that. I should also like to have travelled the world extensively, and incorporate what I’ve learned from that into my writing. I’d have liked to have begun by self-publishing because I own my own bookstore. I know exactly how I’d like my book to be written and appear and be praised… but the specifics are mere idle daydreams compared to my insistence that I become a great writer.

However like any teenager with her whole life ahead of her I have dreams of trying other things and nurturing my other talents.

My friend Chelisse (Moony) and I are a two-woman act. She wants to be an actress, I a writer/director, and so we’re thinking of trying to produce some short films or a series of duologues we could perform together and seeing where that takes us. We also want to earn enough money to buy ourselves a small club in either Sydney or London, and turn it into a dark alternative (read: goth) or BDSM club. Her brother DJs, and I can bartend, so we think if we start small it could be fun.

I have dreams that are singular, too. I want to go to University in about six months and study graphic design and linguistics. As mentioned above, I’d love to run my own second-hand bookshop. I’d call it “Green Books”, of course. I want to train and be a qualified chef, despite the fact that takes numerous years - and this is an ambition I’m very close to realising, since I’ve taken my first tentative steps into the hospitality industry. I’d love to direct amateur musicals, and I’m heading in that direction as well. I’d particularly like to put on a professional production of RENT in the big Melbourne theatre of a name which escapes me. I’d love to sing in an alternative little electronica band with a crazy name, too.

At the end of my life, I want to be able to look back and think that I did something important. I’d like people to have written books about me, people to talk about me at university. Memory holds a form of immortality, after all, and I think I’d like to be remembered - though I’m not afraid of death (Peter Pan and Dumbledore both agree it’s the next great adventure, and while I’m not big on adventures I must admit I’m curious.)

12. Would you sooner commit a crime against your kin or your countrymen?I’m sorry? Hi, welcome to the stupidest question ever hour, how could I help you? Well, you could start by giving me more specific details. What kind of crime? If given the choice between stealing five dollars from my parents and murdering half the country, I’ll take a t for thievery.

I’m an Australian, and we have a funny brand of patriotism. We’ll stand bitching to you for three hours about how John Howard, the Prime Minister, is a patrician bastard with his head up George W’s arse, and then you’ll mention you don’t like Vegemite and get the shit kicked out of you. It’s like that irritating little sister; only you are allowed to insult her.

Then again, I have an interesting way with family, too. I am extremely close to my brother, who is five years younger than me (it’s a family joke that we’re a tongue away from incest.) I love both my parents, and I’m not ashamed of that, but I am indifferent to the rest of my extended family - and that’s about six Aunts and Uncles, two sets of grandparents, and twenty-five cousins. My mother has adopted my friends in the past when they’ve had family trouble, so my best friend is a lot like my sister. Yet I’ve said that in the past about people, and lost them swiftly. And I have no doubt that even with my two favourite people in the world, were it a life or death situation I would put myself first.

But most of my favourite people are kin, at least figuratively. I suppose, if you look at it from that angle, I would prefer to commit a crime against my countrymen. Preferably I wouldn’t get caught.

13. What would your Animagus be and why?Okay, I used to joke that it would be a giraffe, because I’m tall like woah, but my friends assure me that I would make a brilliant snake. I’m certainly not really a snake person, but I am slow when it’s cold and fast when it’s hot, I slither around and don’t like loud noises. I hide and it’s interpreted as sneakiness, and I often scare people because I’m known as poisonous, though I’m harmless if you treat me right.

14. What would your Patronus be and why?A snake, because J. K. Rowling has stated in an interview about Hermione’s Animagus form that the Patronus is always the same animal as the Animagus is.

15. What career would you consider if you were indeed part of the Wizarding world and why?Fantasy writer! I would be doing what I want to do now, only I assume it would be far easier. The truth of my Wizarding existence presented as fiction… the irony is delicious. And I’d be pretty much guaranteed success.

Of course, writing isn’t the most rewarding of professions, so I would probably need to do something that actually made me money - work as an assistant in whatever area of magic I’m good at, work in a shop, train to teach, something like that. Whatever it is, I’d make sure it was something I enjoyed and was good at.