Detour - Chapter 1 / Prologue + 7 + Epilogue

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: Detour
Chapters: 1 / 7 + Epilogue
Author: luna_no_koibito
Dedicated to: hyprakktiv

Genre: Romance, Angst, Human Drama
Warnings: sex
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Reita / Kai
Bands: the GazettE
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Love is to Life, what a detour is to a road. It comes unexpected, and if we choose to not turn back and take it, it will supposedly lead us to where we think it should. Yutaka is a 21-year old university student in the faculty of transportation engineering, and roads are no secrets to him. In fact, he sees life as a giant map, which he believes he has figured out. However, life is about to detour him into a road he though he had closed long time ago, when it decides to reunite him with his first love. Will he turn back, or follow the detour? And in the case he where to follow said detour … will it take where he thinks it should?



*-@ MAIN @-*

*-@ PROLOGUE @-*

When Approaching A Highway Exit:

“It Is Important To Be Sure It Is The Right One, Unless Just Looking For a Rest Area”

---@---- *** ----@ ---

Five months and two weeks before Valentine's day …

-Impressive ...- teasingly stated Takanori smugly grinning, as he systematically rolled up, and positioned neckties, while watching out of Metró's main window, and across the street into Cafe' Paris, where Akira had just arrived, and was now sitting, seemingly enjoying the sight of his bunch of keys, while glancing at his watch every now and then -it's been what? Two weeks now? … and he hasn't miss a day uh? … -smugly observed Takanori, glancing at Yutaka -... handsome, relatively tall, graduate engineer … I am telling you, he is a keeper - truthfully commented Takanori, as he returned his gaze on Yutaka, who was reluctantly trying to get his things ready to clock out, while also trying as he might to avoid looking at the scene across the street, memories from their first encounter at the same cafe' replaying in his head, over and over again

-Five years ...- kindly observed the elder, as they took seats next to the cafe's glass-window. Yutaka effortlessly hummed in agreement, while staring down at the glass of water, he was absently holding on the table - … long time uh?... - soon after added the blond, in a seemingly forced cheerful tone, as the brunette merely nodded, obstinately trying to ignore the elder the best he could, and maybe just by doing so he might have given up. He really hoped, because the more they stayed in each other's presence, the less Yutaka found the strength to ask him to leave himself. However, as his luck in life had always wanted it to be, the elder didn't seem to be the least fazed by his obviously intended silence and coldness, in fact, he seemed determined to stay

-... sure, he doesn't have as much a sense of style, as my Kou-chan does … and, yes it's Kou-chan now … but seriously he is a fucking keeper Yucchan, I don't know why you hate him ...- playfully complained Takanori, whom, because ignorant to that precise part of his past, was unfortunately missing the entire point, for Yutaka didn't hate the elder, in fact it was quite the opposite; which was exactly the problem.

-I never said that... - apathetically rushed the brunette, decisively closing the register, making the shorter lightly jolt at the sudden loud sound- ...Okay, I am out ...- he then quickly mumbled, as he rushed towards the store's entrance

-I am sure that ...- resumed speaking the blond -... that if you had want to tell me why you left, you would have already, so ...- he then paused smilingly looking up at a still averting Yutaka -... I will leave it at that and- he reassured, and seemed to be about to change topic, but Yutaka abruptly interrupted him, trying his best to act as inconsiderate and vexing as he could, though it was so hard. He could keep feel his resolve leaving by the minute, and there was also absolutely no way in hell he'd tell him why he'd left; never, not to him.

-As I said... -drily and apathetically spat the brunette -... it was family issues, nothing more, so I am sorry to have caused you inconveniences, if any … - he coldly declared, turning his head towards the window expressionlessly gazing outside

-Not at all, common now, how could have there been … we were like … inseparable- nervously tried to laugh away the elder, as another smothering silence slowly crept around them -So... - kindly resumed the elder, who seemed to be intentionally trying to ignore Yutaka's reluctance -... you must be in college now ne? What field are- he tried to inquire in a serene manner, moderately smiling, and in no way judging ,accusatory, or seeming to want to force him into explaining anything. If he only knew how much harder he was making things for the brunette, whom, not being able to withstand the situation any longer, suddenly got up from his chair, and picked up his belongings, quickly followed in suit by a noticeably confused Akira. Why was Akira, Akira? or rather, why was he Yutaka? … God how he despised himself

-Sorry senpai, but I really have to go, school, and life you know, but it was really nice to see you- he rapidly explain, politely nodding, walking away, and wanting to as quickly get out of there, because he now could barely feel his resolve, which eventually seemed to have given up rather quickly as soon as Akira's voice readily called for him; just like it always did, whenever he used to

-Kai! Wait, please!- desperately called out the blond

-... Wait!- quickly called Takanori running behind him, and managing to grab his arm just before the taller brunette could reach for the door's handle -... that was just my usual stupidly insensitive observation, but if you don't want to, you don't have to … sorry - quickly clarified the shorter, looking positively serious, and concerned, as Yutaka turned around, finally relaxing his almost angered features, and giving him a grateful smile -... I know you said you don't want to talk about it right now, so I'll wait, but … I hope it's not one of those, you know … like, … he didn't … - hesitantly paused the shorter, slowly releasing Yutaka's arm, and nervously staring at the floor, seemingly looking for the right way to convey his worries, which Yutaka had quickly caught on, and cautiously interjected

-Oh no! No, most certainly no- reassured Yutaka -... no way ...- he reinforced, looking down while smiling to himself - … he has never “touched me inappropriately” - he then confirmed, as they both smirked for his polite choice of words - quite the contrary, he has always been very protective of me ...- he added, reassuringly nodding at the shorter, who nodded back in reply

-Good ...- resumed Takanori -... but even if you just didn't want to have anything to do with him, like having him around and such, don't hesitate, and send the fucker home, or if you want, I'll do it for you - teasingly proclaimed the brunette, lightly flicking the tip of his nose with his thumb

-... allow me to at least walk you home- urged Akira, while quickly joining Yutaka's side, who merely shrugged, and proceeded out of the store followed by the elder.

During their journey, not a single word was spoken by both, and all the while Yutaka was desperately trying to understand why the other wasn't getting the hint, or rather why was he purposely ignoring it. Though, he thought he knew him we, which he probably still did, he hadn't seen this part of him, ever. Akira wasn't the time to waste time in this way, and Yutaka had to admit that it really was throwing him off. On the other hand, the same went for the elder. He knew him too well, which probably meant that he knew he was forcing himself to act like the heedless person he wasn't -... here, this is it - calmly announced Yutaka, as they arrived in front of an apartment complex, while he brought out his keys

-Decent ...- replied the elder taking a once over to the complex -You aren't having any problem living here are you?, is the landlord a nice person? - he then kindly inquired, sounding truly concerned; because he most likely truly was, that was just the way Akira was, and Yutaka knew that.

-Mhmm ...- merely hummed the brunette, as he began to randomly look around, imitating the gesture of a person, who wanted to indicate that his time was being wasted

-Ok then, well, good night … Kai- he then smiled, newly calling him by the nickname he himself had bestowed the brunette long time ago -... see you tomorrow ne? ...- he announced while smiling, and calmly leaving the premises, as Yutaka swiftly turned around to confusedly stare at the blond. Tomorrow? There absolutely had to be no tomorrow, or any other day following that.

-What?! No, wait! Senpai!- quickly called Yutaka in a shocked manner, but the blond merely proceeded in his walk, waving an arm, while leaving a rather stunned brunette to mentally kick himself for being so weak.

-Thank you … Tacchan - chuckled Yutaka, receiving a feign glare from the younger, at the sound of his “scorned” nickname -... but I'll be alright, don't worry … now I better leave though, see you tomorrow okay?- gratefully greeted the taller, as they exchanged nods and smiles, after which, the elder was out of Metró, carefully crossing the street, and passing by the elder blond, who was now outside the cafe.

-Hello there … - readily saluted the elder blond, which Yutaka clearly heard, but proceeded in walking away-... oi! I don't even get a “hey”? ...- teasingly inquired the elder, speeding to catch up with the brunette

-Hey - drily professed Yutaka, as he continued in his walk, making the elder amusingly chuckle, making the younger wonder, what was there to be funny about being unwanted; though he truly wasn't … had he seen through him?

-Gaaa ...- Akira then complained in a tone of pretense offense -... you used to be so cute, and almost submissive when you were younger … - recollected the taller, in a fake mischievous tone, making the other turn around, and send him a skeptical stare

-Oh believe me things have definitely changed since then senpai ...- nonchalantly informed Yutaka, as he turned around to face the road in front of them

-... so it seems … - as nonchalantly replied the blond, who was now also facing the street ahead -... but I like it you know? … not complaining - he smugly stated, making the brunette suspiciously glimpse at him -it appears though, that I may have offended his majesty somehow, given the hostility, so may I please no where I had faulted - teasingly inquired Akira, speed-walking in front of the younger, blocking his way, as Yutaka began to wonder for what reason had the elder been trying so hard to flirt with him ever since they met the day following their reunion, continuously, shamelessly, and apparently really meaning it, which was also making it so darn hard, for the brunette to try and resist him, no matter how hard he tried; or thought he still had to.

-Senpai ...- frustratingly sighed Yutaka, shaking his head, and moving to the right in order to get rid of the elder, whom however promptly placed himself in the younger's way again, who puffed, pouted, and rolled his eyes in resignation -I don't need you to escort me home, or be around me, or anything else! Alright? Bye! - he finally shouted, while glaring at elder, who merely leaned in closer, seemingly wanting to kiss him; again.

-You see? Having dinner bad ne? Though you could have been nicer to my wallet, but then again I said you could choose the place ne? … but yes, good eating indeed.- confidently stated the blond, as the brunette, rolled his eyes, while searching for the keys in his pocket, and unfortunately couldn't resist releasing a little grin to the other's observation -... oh! To that again, but for longer, and wider! -he excitedly explained, pulling his own lips into a smile -... smile for me Kai? ... Please? …- he inquired taking a step closer, and leaning in a bit too close to the younger for his own comfort, while resting a hand on the door, in such a way, to prevent the brunette from being able to open it

-Akira-senpai w-what are you doing? ...- quickly inquired Yutaka, who glimpsed up at the other's face, which was practically on his, and without him registering how or when, the blond's lips quickly pecked his -... s-s-senpai!- he then angrily squealed, his face shouting red, and soon after holding his mouth closed with his hand, while staring at the grinning blond wide-eyed; why was all of this happening now, what was different from all the time they had been together before?

-Good night Kai, see you tomorrow ...- stated Akira, as he began to walk away

-what was that for!? ...- swiftly and angrily inquired Yutaka, at which the blond turned around, and shrugged

-I felt like it? I don't know?- laughingly shrugged the blond -You still remember that right? That I am bi? - he then amusingly grinned at Yutaka's indignant expression

-I d-do, but what has any of that to do with this?! - he readily inquired, pointing his index finger at his lips, but he was ignored by the elder, who merely kept laughing and walking away -... Senpai! -

-Let's go eat something ...- nonchalantly suggested Akira

-That was our first, and last dinner, or last anything at that...- pointedly stated Yutaka quickly stopping, and mustering all the strength he had, while fighting against his weak and desperately craving self, in order to try and finally end whatever it was that Akira was creating, which was what Yutada had always wanted, so badly for so long, but which he'd found out that he couldn't handle. He had to stop this; he had to for both their sakes -I tried to be respectful of you, because you have done so much for me, which I appreciate, and shall never forget, and I think I have also hinted it in so many ways, but apparently I was to subtle, so I am just going to say this - he paused staring up at the elder's nonchalant looking features, while mentally pushing himself to proceed -... I don't want “this”- he spat, roundly motioning his index fingers in sign of their situation - I am seriously not comfortable in your company anymore, and I would appreciate it if you left me alone - he then concluded, lowering his head, after which, not hearing any reply, he muttered a low “sorry”, and resumed walking, but was quickly stopped by the elder, whom had readily grasped his wrist

-One last dinner ...- stated the elder in a firm tone, while still tightly holding Yutaka's wrist, who was still intently staring in front of himself -... one last dinner, and I shall disappear from your life forever, that's the least you can do, don't you think? For all the things you say I did for you - stated the elder in a strong tone, as they kept staring into each other eyes -... with the only condition that I choose the place, take it or leave it- he finally proposed, slowly releasing his grip around Yutaka's wrist

Yutaka kept silently and expressionlessly staring at the elder, almost in an attempt to read his intention, but miserably failing. Though one thing he knew for sure; Akira was a man of his word. Thus, if one dinner was all that he needed for this to not truly even “start”, then he supposed he could have tried and borrow some more strength from god only knew where, for another night -Alright - decisively replied the younger -... where are would you like to go, senpai?- he coldly inquired

-Your house … your cooking- solemnly expressed the elder, hearing which sentence Yutaka almost too strongly bit the insides of his mouth, while mildly and slowly shaking his head from side to side, in disbelief to his own naivety; how hadn't he see that coming?

-... I- he tried to protest, but was quickly sharply by the elder

-I stated the terms, and you agreed, so shall we? ...- he professed, as he proceeded towards the now certainly familiar way towards the brunette's house, who simply turned around in his spot to speechlessly follow the blond, with his still incredulous eyes -... the sooner we do this, the quicker you'll have me out of you life ...just saying- sarcastically shouted the blond, at which words, Yutaka felt a very strong pang right though his heart; how dare he? if he only knew … if he only knew how saying what he just had was still killing him inside - … good- smiled the blond, getting rid of the seriousness he had paraded for the last ten minutes of his proposal, when Yutaka had finally and reluctantly caught up with him

Once in front of his apartment complex, he frustratingly opened the main door, while inwardly sighing, and swiftly walked up the stairs to the second floor, stopping in front of the third door to the right. Silently staring at the his door, Yutaka slowly brought up his keys absently looking at him, his sweaty palms a clear sign of hesitation, as he glanced at the elder, who was nonchalantly standing behind him, hands in his pockets, and looking completely aloof. Reluctantly he inserted the key, and closing his eyes, he unlocked it, and for some reason, having the distinct feeling that he was opening the door towards his own end. No. It wasn't just a feeling, he knew he was.

- You can keep your coat up there ...- he blankly expressed, indicating hooks on the side of the hall walls, as he turned around to close the door

-Hai hai ...- replied the blond in an irritating relaxed manner to Yutaka, who was looking at the elder acting like it was his house -... nice and cozy, I like it here ...- nonchalantly professed the blond, as Yutaka walked by him

-The kitchen is this way ...- he announced, entering said room, followed by the blond, whom, as soon as he entered, didn't speak a single word, simply leaned buy the entrance, and kept staring at him, suddenly making the brunette extremely anxious, as he randomly opened and closed cabinets, continuously forgetting what it was he was looking for, being completely incapable of focusing on anything else but the sensation of the elder's stare -S-so what do you want me to make? - he then finally inquired, silently backing the blond, waiting hear a reply, but all he could hear were steps; that just couldn't be good.

Quickly, he instinctively turned around, but Akira was already behind him, and had him pressed between the back counter and the elder's body, his hands gripping the counter, on both sides of Yutaka's still visibly shocked form, whose hands had quickly stamped themselves on the blond's chest -... can I have you?- huskily inquired the blond, leaning into the other's ear, and slowly grazing his lips down Yutaka's neck. He should have seen this coming, shouldn't have he? Then again no, not this; … not this.

-S-s-senpai, what are you … doing ...- tried to protest Yutaka, his voice lowly hissing as he forcefully attempted to push the other away, but failing for the elder merely pushed harder against, his hands still firmly griping both sides of the counter -I don't understand- he tried to protest again, ad this time he was cut short by the blond, who began speaking

-Yes you don't understand ...- precipitously exclaimed Akira, straightening himself, but not releasing his brunette captive, who was confusedly gazing up at his lowered face -... you do not understand at all how it felt ... how lost, and hurt I felt when you left - he concluded, raising his head, to sternly look down at a wide-eyed Yutaka, whom didn't believe he'd heard correctly; … lost? … hurt? ... Because of himself leaving? -... I thought ...- he resumed looking straight into the brunette's eyes, who was trying really hard to avert them, but felt spellbound -... I … you were so important to me, and I'd promised I would protect you always, remember? even when you started having those problems, I swore I'd protect you, because I thought we were like brothers, but I was wrong ...- he then paused, slowly breathing out, while looking away, and swiftly replacing his distressed gaze on a still very petrified looking Yutaka; … where was he going with this? was he about to … - I misunderstand my love for you … I didn't love you only as a brother … I loved you, you as Yutaka ...- he concluded, raising completely from the counter, but still leaving just enough space for the brunette to try and breath, at which he was wretchedly failing

Akira … loved ...him? No way. Looking up at the elder, he silently scrutinized him, his own eyes still so confused, and decisively incredulous. He couldn't believe this, and never he had even thought he would ever here said words from the elder. Yes, he had imagined the scene, played it so many times in his head, in his dream … but he had set himself to believe that it would never happen; he had been forced to accept that it would have never happen; and no what was he to do? -... I still don't understand ...- he hesitantly professed in a low town, lowering his head, still not trusting; considering his past, there was still a high chance he wasn't hearing properly, or he was hallucinating

-I love you Yutaka … - kindly repeated the elder, newly leaning into the younger face, this time meeting no rejection, as his lips found themselves just a few centimeters from each other and he resumed speaking - … the type of love where all I did was incessantly think about you, wanting to hold you, kiss you, … feel you … so bad I- he kept professing, but was quickly shut up by the brunette, who suddenly stamped his lips on the other's, swiftly wrapping his arms around the elder's neck, as they eagerly began to make out. That was all that Yutaka had ever wanted, the main cause of those problems he tried to solve running away five years ago, and now it was happening, he somehow got the object of his desire … his obsession … and he was supposed to just let it all go?

Soon enough, two sets of hands were ravenously fast tasting every inch of body the could land on, while mouths were hungrily devouring each other. And all of a sudden there was almost too much passion, making their sense feeling so pleasurably intoxicated with one other, so suffocatingly demanding and craving that meaning of words became a far far concept.

Strongly placing both his hands on Yutaka's lower back, Akira carried the younger on top of the counter he was still pressed against, subsequently latching his mouth on the younger's neck, like a leech on its target, avidly sucking, while busing himself with unbuttoning the younger's shirt, as said younger was trying his best not to collapse on said counter tightly holding himself on Akira's shoulders. Then, after having roughly pulled away the offensive piece of cloth from the heavily breathing brunette, Akira quickly pulled away his own t-shirt gently pulled Yutaka's head down to make their lips clash again, in a fiery and possessive kiss -... hold on tight - he breathlessly whispered newly grabbing the youngers' back, and carrying him off the counter, while Yutaka followed instruction without protest and wrapped his arms around his neck

In-between kisses, and barely intelligible directions, the elder managed to carry Yutaka into his room, and on top of his bed, where he readily straddle the younger, and keeping up the heat of the moment, he calculatedly lowered his head over the other's, hissing his eyes close, and grazing his lips down his nose, his swollen and parted lips, his slightly bruised neck, and on his chest darting out his tongue and tracing it all the way to one of his nipples, which he traced around, and slowly sucked one, making the younger whimper in pleasure, his eyes still closed, his heart still quite incredulous of the whole happening, and wasn't it understandable? how many people in the world were granted their greatest wishes?

While shifting to the other nipple, he quickly untied the brunette's pants, taking care to quickly pull away his pants and underwear, as the younger slightly opened his own, and leaned up to do the same with the elder, who resumed kissing him, this time slowly, and seemingly wanting to savor the taste of the younger, while he began to slowly pump his erection - … where? ...- he huskily inquired, then raising up to follow the extended arm, which was pointing to a bed stand. Opening the drawer, he got out a condom, and kept searching for something -... there is no lube ...- he informed, at which Yutaka merely placed his hand on the elder's should, pulling him back to himself

-It alight …trust me I don't need - he panted out, after which the blond newly took possession of the other lips as if truly hungry

-... are you sure? ...- he whispered, receiving as Yutaka confidently nodded, permitting the elder to carefully spread his legs open, after which he wore the protection, and placed himself at the younger's entrance -... I really sure it's okay, I don't want to hurt you? ...- he inquired softly pecking the brunette's lips, who flashed him his best smile, and reassuringly nodded. Yutaka had wanted this so badly, he really didn't care about how he was going to get it; he was sure it was going to feel indescribably good, no matter how truly painful

After leaning the brunette on the bed, the elder pushed in excruciatingly slow, and yes, it hurt, to the point of pushing out a couple of tears out of his tightly closed eyes, forcing down his pained whimpers, and quickly breathing -... you can move ... - he then informed in a whisper, as he managed a fain smile and slightly opened his eyes. Leaning in to tenderly make out with the younger, Akira began to slowly thrust in and out the brunette, whose hands were tightly clenched on the elder's back, as he began to meet the elder's thrusts, who took it as a sign to move fast, and so he did

-Do you...- wantonly breathed out the elder, grabbing the brunette's erection and pumping in time with his thrusts -... do you still want me to leave? ...- he questioned, receiving a quick shaking of head form Yutaka, who wasn't even thinking anything on those lines anymore. Any thought of some sort of salvation, or the greater good, had been completely wiped out of his head. He had most definitely derailed, and was about to crash all those five years of hard work; but damned if he cared.

Never had he felt anything so vividly, so strong, and had he wanted to, even in his dreams, where he'd often fantasized of this exact moment, it had never felt not even a hundredth as good as this. The sensation of having Akira so deep inside him, of him wanting him just as bad as he did, was mind blowing, too much to even completely grasp, and he was already so close, a few more thrusts, and he would have cum straight in the elder's hands -... don't leave me again? - professed Akira, in a tone that Yutaka couldn't quite identify, it was a request, but it almost sounded as if he were pleading, as if he were scared, that he might maybe disappear again?

-I won't ...- readily breathed out the brunette, as he his grip around the elder forcefully tightened, his eyes quickly shut, and his head tilted backwards, as they finally came -... I … won't - he whispered again, heavily panting under the spent body of the elder, raising his arms to embrace him. If he wanted him to stay, he would have, whatever he wanted him to do, he would; anything, because …

-... Yutaka? ...- then softly called the blond, slowly raising from the brunette, and pulling out, while laying on the side facing the brunette, who had shifted on his side as well

-Hmm? ...- bemusedly inquired the younger, staring at the elder, who looked rather serious, as he gently, grabbed his left arm by his wrist, which he then turned to face him

-All this time … I was so worried that ….- he stated, studying the younger's wrist, and tracing over a series of scars with his index finger -... that you might have died ...- he then whispered hurtfully closing his eyes, which almost seemed don the verge of tears, while strongly stamping his lips on said wrist -... but … - he then blurted, soon after opening his eyes to gaze at the younger - … there aren't any new once ne? ...- he noticed, and smiled, same as Yutaka, who nodded in agreement.

Indeed, there were no more cuts, yes.

He hadn't cut himself in five years, yes.

Because he had no reason to do so, yes.

And never would he reveal to the elder to have been the unknowing cause of his self inflicted wounds. Never would he tell him that he had been the reason why he had left five years ago. Never would he have confessed the true nature of those problems he had always found a way to lie about one way or the other, because …

-... You are obsessed … - had finally diagnosed his psychiatrist

… he was in love; he had always believed.

*-@ CHAPTER 2 @-*

A/N: The fight against oneself is probably one of the must difficult we'll ever have to fight, and the most likely to loose as well [...I never win against myself, NEVER …]. It is hard to find the will and strength to do the right, and hard thing, to always look ahead with a bright smile, and think that everything will be alright, because the truth is that we don't really know; but we can still hope, ne? So Yutaka's reason for leaving, had been Akira himself, being that he had been diagnosed with obsessive love disorder, which is a real disorder, that I will try to represent as best of my capabilities in the next chapter, but please don't quote me in anything regarding it, because I am not an expert, m(_ _! )m. So what had caused such disorder to arise? Is the disorder going to interfere in this new born relationship? … find out in the next Detour. Thanks for reading, much Love (^ ^! )/.

“Every man is afraid of something.

That's how you know he is in love with you;

when he is afraid of losing you”

by Anonymous