A Drummer's Embrace [KAI / REITA] - ONE SHOT
Title: A Drummer's Embrace
Chapters: One Shot
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Angst, Romance, Human drama
Warnings: Language, Sexual situations
Rating: PG-15
Pairing: Kai / Reita
Bands: The GazettE
Dedicated to: Here is for you 8written74word8 (hope you like it ♥)
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Reita is trying to understand why Kai is alright with the way everyone is misjudging their relationship.
A Drummer's Embrace
If only he were as talented with words, as he was with his bass guitar.
“I went to Akihabara early today ...”
“Did you? ...”
“Un, with Nao, he was looking for a new camera, and I still hadn't bought the DS case that I wanted, so I thought it a good occasion and just tagged along”
“Where did you guys go? …”
If only he possessed that ability to skilfully being able to speak his mind and immediately get his point across like the other did; like Yutaka did. If only he could be able to, just like Yutaka, read him like he were an open book, Akira was quite sure that he wouldn't have been the constant subject to all the unspoken wondering, and the occasional excessive agitation, which he put himself through every time they, as a group, had nothing to do, and that as a consequence, the two of them, him and Yutaka, happened to be apart.
Since he could remember, small talk, sudden divergence of subject, or white lies, where all things he was absolutely not capable of, which as a child wasn't such a big deal, tune which however drastically changed as he hit adolescence. His incapability to perform said communication actions had nothing to do with the fact that he had perhaps chose to live following path of being truthful to what he said, simply his shyness and insecurity were too much of an hindrance, and as a consequence he'd resolved that not talking at all would have been much better. However, it backfired, once he'd reached high school he'd been considered nothing less than socially inapt, by almost everyone, except from those whom knew him well enough, which at the time, were only his mother, his sister, and Kouyou.
“There was a place he'd heard about, and he wanted to go check it out, admittedly, we went way off the main street … but it ended up well. We also stopped by a drum store, he needed a new pair of sticks … thought about buying you some as well, but didn't know whether you needed them or not so ...”
“So … you got yourself a new case, and got me nothing ...”
“... yup”
“I have such an inconsiderate boyfriend … I want to cry”
“Right right … at least I thought of it, don't they say that is the thought that count?”
“Well I do think about having sex with you a lot during the day … should we then not have sex tonight ?”
“... You would say something like that wouldn't you … you sadistic drummer”
“It's masochistic thank you … and … you really are just too cute when you get all flustered … I think I have told you this quite a lot now uh? And you keep doing it ...so I guess you must really love me after all ...”
“... You just love making fun of me don't you? … and I am not flustered ...”
But his social ineptitude was now story of the past. Now that he was Reita, the manly bassist of one of the most popular visual kei bands in Japan, not only his silence was being deemed as profound and somewhat mysterious, or every single word he uttered, no matter how trivial or nonsensical, was being considered cute and oh so funny, but, his own self-confidence received quite the amazing boost. For example, he was capable of making the girls in the staff giggle at every thing he did, or make his manager play-along with his attempts at being bossy.
It would have seemed as if Akira were now capable of taking over the world in one go, in the same way his speech frequency had drastically improved, which now successfully labeled him as a socially apt person. However, to that one person whom had learned to know him probably even better than himself, to Yutaka, it was still quite easy and blatant to read past his little white lies, his disguised shyness, and his constant insecurities, something to be rather expected by one's own lover.
Who wouldn't be happy, to have such an amazing person by one's own side, someone that understood you so well, and their relationship was indeed quite balanced, anyone who was aware of it would say so, Yutaka himself would often agree. Yet what other people saw, and judged as balanced, was exactly not the way things truly were between the two of them, and this distressed him more than anything in the world. They were yes as happy as it could be, and they did loved each other more than anyone could imagine, that was all true, but not in the way other thought, thus often he wondered, thinking about Yutaka, whom perennially acted like it was all okay … Don't you despise this? … How did it end up like this? … is this really alright with you?
“... Then ... what else happened?”
“else? ...”
“... Akira … I know for a fact that you are not standing there by the threshold looking like a child, who did something really wrong, wants to tell me about it, and all that just came out of those beautiful lips of yours is about some ordinary trip in the dark alleys of Akihabara right? ... ”
In moments in which he wanted to express his feelings, moments when he needed for Yutaka to understand that for example what he felt for him went beyond the myriad of kisses they gave each other a day, beyond the gifts, the sweet words … in moments such as that he truly wished he knew how to speak. For example, just how many times had he tried to word out just how great it felt to be embraced by the arms of a drummer; of his drummer.
Strong and trained arms, which when moved by enough strong a sentiment, could tenderly and safely engulf not only the body they are embracing, but its soul as well, and make them feel like there was nowhere else there would rather be, feel like there is no place they would be safer, like there was no way they ever had and would be loved in such away. That, was the feeling he'd always perceived from the brunette, never changed, if not improved, at only got better, stronger, safer with the passing of time, and oh how he wished he could just tell the world, or at least people around them.
What would really happen if they knew?
If he told them that it had in fact been Yutaka, the one, whom first approached him, that one day, six years ago, when he was silently sitting next to Kouyou, who was discussing guitar sounds with Yuu, it had been the brunette to plop himself right next to him and out of the blue say “lets form our rhythm group, since they are always cutting us out talking about only guitars, it seems only fair” and pulled him closer to himself, making the other two laugh, and the blond lightly blush in his congenital silence.
What would they think if he'd told them that Yutaka had been able to brake through his shell easier than anyone ever before, he'd gone deeper into his soul, even further than Kouyou had, and comfortably situated himself right inside his heart, held tight, and never let go. For it had been Yutaka, the first among the to of them, to incite them into being what they were now. “Would you … would you give us a try?” he had whispered into his ear, while embracing him from behind a good five years.
Now this, he knew exactly how people would have react to this, if he told them them that some nights later, as their extremely heated bodies were so passionately and nonchalantly began to acknowledge each other, caress after caress, after kiss, after discarded cloth. Yutaka whispering sweet words in his ears, then kissing his lobe, all the way down to the bottom of his neck where he began to tenderly nibble, and then as they ended up making love for the first time, he could just see the bemusement and disbelief when he'd tell them that it had indeed been the brunette to penetrate, and not the other way round. Such a shocker it would be, all because of his capricious self, and the ever accommodating brunette.
“well … being Akihabara … we obviously to passed by a lot of manga stores, and I casually eyed one in particular ...”
“casually you say …”
“yeah causally …”
“and might have this casually happened to be a yaoi one? ...”
“yes, but I really had no intention to, it just happened okay ...”
“ okay go on...what happened at the yaoi-manga-store you casually saw?”
“Well I unconsciously stopped by it … and spotted some the GazettE doujinshi...”
“you mean searched for some the GazettE doujinshi- ...”
“whatever, that's not the point Yutaka-..”
“... then what is it Akira? … not that again, I hope ...”
In the first stages of the Gazette, the bassist was apt to always wear his hair down and straight, along with skirts and hinted feminine features, which weren't so accentuated like for Uruha for example, but it always gave a sense of femininity, and it was the same, and still was for the most part, for Yutaka. However, differently from Reita, Kai's femininity was exclusively restricted to the screen, once off the set, you would find the drummer sitting on the couch legs wide open, smoking like a chimney, while reviewing his score; it was such an off image, it was sufficient to make the blond mentally smile. Whereas, because of his shyness and still not too inclined to conversation nature, Reita's feminine outfit seemed to involuntary fit.
And it was actually said looks that used to turn on the drummer the most, making say things such as “You really look cute with your hair down, and that skirt … I like it a lot, makes it so hard for me to keep from constantly want to touch you” and he'd say them so nonchalantly, when they still had time to have little rendezvous in forgotten storage rooms. “... I … don't like this ...my look, I don't like it ...” Akira then once had the courage to admit, and felt guilty immediately after, knowing how much the other liked it, but it was really bothering him, and he didn't think he could go on like that. In response, brunette weirdly blinked at him for a few second, and tenderly laughed at him saying “... then let change it, shall we?”.
Talking to the manger and costume staff as leader of the band, he suggested that maybe it was time for the GazettE to change look, and that perhaps some members could undergo a radical change of look to attract more attention to the band itself. Thus, it was decided, under the mildly pressing suggestions of the brunette, that for example, the bassist should have aimed for a more manly look. Which made the blond incredibly ecstatic, and somehow helped him build on his persona much better, but changed absolutely nothing, between him and the brunette; and he was fine with it.
So why keep hiding it?
/
“It … it … it just pisses me off!”
“Why? Akira, why does it anger you so much ...”
“Because I know the truth … and I like it the way it really is … I am not with Kouyou, I am not with Takanori … and most of all ...”
“And most of all? … now now look how flustered you've just became ... right here … your ears … so red, like strawberries, so cute … can I eat them? ...”
“Most … of … all ...”
Not their families, not their band mates, whom were as close as being family, or anyone whom could have been considered as a close friend, had the right vision of their relationship. They all knew they were in a relationship because it came to a point where it appeared rather useless to keep hiding it, giving how much, and how they always happened to be around each other, sometimes not even making much of an effort to hide it.
However, this realization happened around the time where the bassist had been since labeled as the manly one, and Kai was still very much sticking with the female clothing, so the general believe was that the blond was the man in the relationship, something which Akira never had thought about until a particular time in which Aoi had thought it necessary to express his opinion and jokingly stated “You know, if the two of you were ever to get married I can so see Kai being an incredibly, but still adorable, nagging wife”. At the time they both laughed, but as he did that the blond couldn't help but wonder whether everyone else though the same.
And it shouldn't have bothered him, there was no reason to be bothered by such a thing, or there shouldn't have because it did, and it worsened as he kept finding out that everyone thought the same exact thing; that he was the one on top of things, and it made absolutely no sense to him either. How could have he been on top of things? Yutaka was so much better at almost everything he attempted, if he ever, to do. A proud leader, a hard-worker, a considerate person, a good speaker … an amazing lover in all its meanings … he was, all that he wasn't, and just how blessed he was to have him he knew very well, and simply wished others knew as well.
He'd tried, in the best of his capabilities, to discuss the matter with the drummer, but he never seemed to be able to explain what he meant in the right way, ending complaining about something completely irrelevant, or just giving up, since Yutaka either didn't understand or simply seemed not to be bothered by what others thought in the least. Even though the brunette was the real man, even though he should have been taking credit for so much more, even though his carelessness drove the blond crazy, he seemed to truly not care ...
… But why?
“Most of all? … keep talking … I am listening” whispered the drummer, as he kept grazing his lips against the blond's lobe, whom slightly lost balance as he completely leaned himself on one side of the doorways' wall
“I … am the one on the receiving end” managed to utter Akira getting rid of his mild daze induced by the brunette, as he turned to face him “I obviously don't care about what whoever says, but those close to us … those who actually know that we actually are in a relationship … shouldn't they?” he firmly questioned, as the brunette raised his hand to play with the bassist fringe which was covering part of his face, since he was wearing no gel
“You really are cute with your hair down ...” replied the drummer, while he kept staring at the bassist, whose features drastically turned into something very close to irritation and anger
“Stop ignoring me!” he retorted slapping the brunette's hand away from his face “ … explain so that I can understand, if you don't it also feels like you are not telling me something … and oh who would have though! … that bothers me as well” declared the blond, sarcastically concluding, while placing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“So hardheaded … “ mumbled the drummer, resignedly sighing, while backing off from the blond to lean on the other side of the doorway wall “ … really … really stubborn ...” he kept professing never taking his gaze off the blond, whom was nonchalantly looking away, his hands still in his pockets, as the brunette sighed again “... to start with … isn't there something fundamentally wrong in thinking about who the female and male is in an homosexual relationship? ...” he calmly questioned still intently looking at the blond, whom this time glimpsed up at him “... you don't think?”
“Maybe ...” quickly shrugged the blond, whom had to silently admit, he never thought about that
“If I wanted to you be with a girl, if I wanted a girl at that, I'd go get me one, I wouldn't be with you, and I'd like to think you'd do the same ...” continued Kai once more sighing, at the blond's silence “... plus you've topped me a couple of time too, is not like we set it as rule … just … I usually take the initiative that's all ...” pointed out the brunette
“You are twisting things again ...” expressed the blond in a low frustrated tone “... you are making it look ...okay-” he tried to continue, but was drastically cut off by the brunette, whom suddenly got off his wall, and got back in front of the blond
“Because it is!” exasperatedly stated the brunette, at which the blond merely stayed impassive and silent staring at the other, who closed his eyes, breathed, and resumed “... so what if they all believe you fuck me uh? So what if they think I like to wear pink aprons and spend my time in the kitchen making food for kids we can't have ...” tenderly resumed the brunette, making the blond slightly smirk at the last bit “... let them conjecture all they want, the most they can try to understand is what Reita and Kai do … but I can assure you, except from me and you, nobody knows about Akira and Yutaka ...” kept explaining the brunette, getting his face closer and closer to the blond's “... about how kinky they truly are ...” he whispered on the blond's lips, who grinned “... about how happy they can make each other, by both being manly, perhaps in different ways, but still very manly indeed ...” he proceeded, as the blond attentively listened “... they will never know about a lot of other things. They won't and don't even need to know because if you add two to one, or one to two, the result is still three … makes sense?” smilingly inquired the brunette, as the blond began to laugh
“Math was so the wrong example to choose to explain me anything!” he amusingly pointed out “... but it was an easy enough equation … I got it ...I think” he added newly laughing “... its something just for you and me, and it really doesn't matter because nothing would change anyway … “
“Good … also ... take under consideration how much explaining, clarifying, we'd have to make every single time … added to some people's trauma in finding out certain details ... we don't need that ...” added the brunette, as the the other smirked and nodded in agreement “what we truly need right now is sex, lots and lots of it ...” pointed out the brunette
“I think you just might be right ...” smugly stated the bassist, coolly staring at the brunette
“Want to top? ...” sensually whispered the brunette on Akira's lips, as they began to make out
“Nah ...” mumble the blond in-between their rather ardent exchange of affection
“Sure? … I really don't mind ...” hissed Yutaka, as Akira managed to nod
“Yes I am, besides, if you only knew how it felt to be fucked by a drummer ...” replied the blond, as they began to walk towards their couch “... you'd never ask such a question again”
A/N: There~! As some of you might know, I usually write Reita as the seme, it come more natural given their costume and all, but I stopped and thought about it a second, and wondered what if? … and that is how this came to be, and I honestly, it may be very hard for some of you but, I can really see Kai as a seme, perhaps the hard part is to see Reita as a uke uh? Well I hope I was able to make it in such a that also you all were able to feel comfortable with my vision. Hope you enjoyed it. Now have to do a bit of homework, then what was it? … oh ..lol … the Indivisible Wall chapter 2~!
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-