HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka : CHAPTER 18 PART 1

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka
Chapters: 18.1 / 22
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human drama, romance, war, angst.
Warnings:  men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence, incest.
Rating: from PG -15 to NC-17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Revealing this might spoil the story just yet ... suggest looking at the character list (^_^)!
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Nightmare, An Cafe', Alice Nine, Kra, SuG.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary:
  MAIN



Made by 12thgrave

CHAPTER 17 PART 2


He truly couldn't quite recall the last time he'd felt anything even remotely close to the way he felt at the moment. These unexpected sensations of utmost serenity and awaited joy were truly an extremely appreciated gift, the little victory following the dangerous commotion of the previous evening; the first big step into a bit of light, after so much self-imposed darkness. To make the unbelievable situation yet more unbelievable, the fact that he had been given the chance to share said gift with someone else, entirely exceeded his expectations. For starters, he'd always thought himself as someone doomed to be eternally unworthy of any sort of happiness or tranquility, at least until the very day in which he died. By then, he would supposedly have succeeded in making sure that all his siblings were living a decent and cheerful life, meaning he could die content. And that had been his unshaken belief; that he would be incapable of feeling true happiness ever again.

Yet there he was, still alive and all of a sudden genuinely happy. Happy even though he still couldn't feel anything akin to relief, since he hadn't yet revealed anything to his siblings. Happy even though there really seemed to be little or nothing to be happy about, regarding his family matters at the moment. Happy even though in order to avoid awaking the now somewhat precious body, which he had been embracing the entire night, he had been uncomfortably sitting on a wooden floor with his head leaning against the metal pole of a bed. Admittedly, he was still a bit shaken by his confession, he felt as if he had just made himself incredibly vulnerable, a feeling he didn’t know how to deal with, but he didn't have to do it alone. Thanks to this particular brunette, Akira would now perhaps have a chance to even just try and fix what he thought lost forever, and just how much such a perspective meant to him, he doubted the apprentice would ever understand; just how truly happy he was, he doubted he would ever be able to convey.

-Good morning ...- Akira suddenly breathed out feeling the fingers of the apprentice suddenly tapping delicately on his chest, and instantly stopping after his greeting - ... It was not my intention to make you stop ...- he then lightly chuckled, tenderly catching the apprentice's withdrawing hand -... it actually felt nice - he then swiftly added, obeying his present urge to make sure that the brunette could feel comfortable in his presence, and what part of him wanted for such outcome he couldn't tell, but it was quite a strong commanding feeling -... Mr. Uke? … is everything alright?- he then perplexedly inquired, having yet to receive any sort of reply from the brunette, and fearing that indeed the brunette was maybe changing his mind about the present turn of events -... Yutaka? ...- he then called again with slight hesitation, tentatively rolling out the apprentice first name, while slowly stretching his head forward to pleasingly observe the extremely reddened features, of the eye-closed apprentice -.. can I call you like that? - he then whispered on the brunette's face, who suddenly snapped his eyes opened, and dazedly stared at the blond, who smiled again

-This … is not a dream … is it? ...- innocently question the brunette in a light tone of voice, staring at the blond with squinted eyes, as if ready to snap them shut as soon as some sign of violence were to unleash

-If it were I dare anybody not to wake me up, for it would be rather cruel, do you not think … Yutaka?- kindly replied the blond, delightfully observing the brunette blush as he pronounced his name

-Yeah … it would ...- almost closed to whispered the brunette, lowering his head, and raising it again, suspiciously squinting his eyes at the blond, making Akira almost feel offended for the lack of trust. Though it really wasn't like he couldn't blame the apprentice after all he'd been through, and a good part of it involved him as well

-Alright then let's have it this way ...- began the blond, gently cupping the younger's cheek -... if ever I were to say something that for any reason offended you, scared you, or made you feel uncomfortable, I authorize you to slap me ...- proposed the blond, at which brunette blushed even deeper, while bemusedly blinking back at him -... so ... may I now be allowed to call you by your first name? You have still to give me permission …- he nonchalantly added

-W-w-wait! ...- suddenly blurt out the brunette, seemingly panicking in quite an adorable way, that it made the blond wonder just how did anyone managed to do so in such an instance, while he promptly grabbed the brunette's wrist and pulled him back down before he could manage to stand up-... I … I ...- exasperatedly continued mumbling the brunette, whose face was back on the blond's chest

-Would you look at this ... where o where I wonder, is the valiant man that so skillfully tamed me last night? ...- Akira smugly questioned, lightly placing his chin, on top of the brunette's head -... not that I mind because I will have you know … Yutaka … that I am quite fond of harmless looking creatures ...- he confessed with a chuckle, as got off the brunette's head, and pulled him a way lightly, until the other was sitting on his heels in front of himself, head shying away -... thus, either way ...- amusingly continued the blond, while lifting off the pole to get closer to the brunette's face, and whisper on his lips -... I seem to be the one enthralled by you right now ...- resignedly admitted the blond -... thus … please … do not … be afraid of my any longer ...- he then hesitantly smirked, while trying his best to make his sentence not sound like a desperate plea, after which he closed the already almost nonexistent distance between them

-I ...- lowly resumed the apprentice, still keeping his eyes averting, with a slight pout on his blushing features -... I am not … - he confirmed, quickly glimpsing at the blond -I think … I am just not used to such … displays of affection? - he then concluded in an awkwardly, but still rather cute, questioning manner with a weird smile on top of it, which made the blond blithely chuckle, as he wondered the reason why the apprentice suddenly seemed to be so undeniably adorable

-Affection indeed ...- readily replied Akira - do you not believe me? Or were you perhaps lying when you told me about your feeling yesterday? ...- added the blond perfectly managing a complete straight face, as he resolved to tease the brunette just a little

-I was not lying!- indignantly replied the brunette -... to put it simply however … - quickly added the brunette, still sternly glaring at the blond -... though I had an obvious change of heart, my brain is still quite the same, thus ...- kept explaining the brunette, slowly averting his gaze towards the end of his clarification - … you will have to give my reflexes the time to understand that whenever you get close to me, it is not to threatening me anymore but … to ...- he then vaguely stopped, making the blond lower his head under the one of the brunette and kiss him

-... to do something like that?- sensually whispered the blond on the brunette's lips

-Yes ...- dazedly replied the brunette -... and ... I will have you know Akira that either way … you are still quite scary ...- observed the apprentice making the blond laugh, and soon after grumble in slight pain, once the brunette playfully smacked his head

-What was that for? ...- sadly whined the lawyer looking utterly confused at the apprentice -... did I do something wrong? - he swiftly added, observing the brunette suspiciously squinting his eyes at him

-I was testing you ...- lowly replied the brunette, who suddenly looked rather tense

-What for? … - curiously inquired the blond, with a light pitiful smirk, as he massaged his head, assuming a pretense offended expression -... did I pass? - he then added with an amused laughter

-To see if you really would allow me to hit you, and yes you passed … for now - smiled the apprentice -... I really ...- then shyly added the brunette, slightly lowering his gaze -... I really, really like it when you smile … - he admitted in a whisper -... what? … Why … why are you looking at me like that ...- he inquired staring at Akira, who was silently gazing at the brunette with the expression of someone, who was suddenly hungry, which was, only he was certain the apprentice wouldn't understand his currently type of hunger

-Nothing ...- calmly dismissed Akira, smiling away, while trying to concentrate his thoughts on pure and not-arousing things, but Yutaka seemed to have other plans, as he newly slapped him on the head, making the blond speechlessly blink at him with wide eyes -... now what? ...- bewilderingly inquired the blond, wondering if he should have regretted giving the brunette the permission to hit him. Though, thus far, all the beating might have just be the apprentice's side of karma, and if that were the case; there was still much more to come

-Do not dismiss me … just yet ...- shyly admonished the brunette

-I … do not think I understand … - slowly replied the blond, as he tried to understand to what the brunette was alluding

-As I said … - hesitantly began the apprentice -... I am … new to this whole situation … I do not know … how to act … and ...- strenuously tried to explain the brunette, traces of frustration starting to appear -... the fact that we are both men, and … you seem to have decided that you are to assume the male role … is really … I ...- paused the brunette, distressingly biting his lips -... I have no clue what I am supposed to do … perhaps, am I too act … - he then paused, seemingly thinking his words through, then lowering his head he whispered -... do you expect me to act like a woman would? -

It would be insanely cute if you did thought the blond, as he mentally worked incredibly hard not to say so -... you really haven't been in a relationship … romantic one … of any sort before? … - he then curiously inquired, observing the brunette in slight surprise, given that the apprentice might not have been the manliest of man, but he was still handsome indeed, and anyone would have assumed he had

-No such time … - dismissively whispered the brunette, making lawyer tenderly smile at his admission, thinking that there was something vaguely sensual at having for a partner someone who was entirely virgin; which wasn't helping the whole pure non-arousing thought process

-No such time you say ...- he then repeated, straight up himself, and spreading his legs apart, he pulled the brunette in-between them, folded his legs behind his prey -... still I am quite shocked to the fact that nobody has tried to as- laughingly began the blond, and suddenly stopped in the process of saying the word assault, realizing that if the brunette had been, anyone in his family might have been involved.

At such realization, it suddenly felt as if someone had hardly punched him into reality, and he wondered just how blinded by his mission in life had he been not to understand such simple fact; they, the seven of them, weren't the only people in the world. The fact that they had hurt all those people, who came pretending to help them out just to take their money, also didn't help in making the lawyer never even feel a tiny sense of guilt. However, now that the cards on the table had completely changed, now that the person he was getting ready to love had been a victim of their hatred, what was he supposed to do? Was it even any right to have done all they had to all the others, no matter how despicable a person they in fact were? Obviously not; obviously it wasn't.

-Do you really not ...- he then began to express, wondering how to approach the subject, not really wanting to, but knowing that the sooner the better -... hate me … or anyone of us? … the mere thought of it makes me sick right now, but the fact that … one of us, might have … done you wrong ...- tried to express the blond, truly feeling light waves of sickness

-I hated it ...- genuinely replied the brunette -... I was really scared, and at a point … I did wish for something immensely bad to happen to some of you … no denying of that - calmly stated the brunette, with an unusual seriousness drawn in his features, as the blond remained silently listening for lack of anything suitable to say -... but … I saw repentance, real repentance … and even though it may not sound sufficient to amend for certain things done to me … the fact that I could feel that the person was truly sorry, I believe meant much more than any kind of material compensation or halfheartedly written letter of apology ...- explained the brunette -... to be quite honest, I did not believe myself being capable of such forgiveness, but … seeing the face of a second party not involved, seeing how the other party seemed to depend so desperately on the person that had offended me … made me opt for forgiveness … and slowly day by day … I do feel better, I do not regret my decision, I suppose it is much better than carrying around a grudge ...- he concluded with a gentle smile -... moreover, you did say it once right? .. things happen for a reason … and hopefully I did just that … hopefully said person will think twice before deciding to cause anyone harm? - uncertainly added the apprentice, still smiling at the blond, who was seriously left with no words to speak; was Heaven really so full of angels that God could spare to send him one?

-And here I was about to profess my commitment to you, alongside with the list of things I would have done in other to achieve your complete forgiveness … - lightly laughed the blond, placing his head on the brunette's chest

-Nobody is stopping you from doing as much … please by all means go ahead ...- chuckled the brunette, placing both his hands on the blonds hair, and busying himself by toying with his hair

-Look at you, acting so vainly after having preached such a nice sermon ...- smugly smirked the blond, while carefully wrapping his arms around the brunette -... can you feel my repentance? ...- he then suddenly asked after a quite moment between them

-Yes - quite spontaneously replied the brunette still playing with the blond's hair -... still awaiting your words of devotion and list of gifts though ...- playfully added the brunette, making the blond smirk as well

-You are doing this very well, being it your first relationship you know … the whole acting “cute” part ...- observed the blond lifting his head up, and reaching for the brunette's lips. At first, Akira had intended to merely peck them, but the situation took its on natural turn, their lips slowly parted, and their exchange of affection became more intense, more touchy, as he brought the apprentice's body closer while soothingly passing his hands around his back -... incredibly so … it will be hard to leave for even a second imagine days ...- whispered the blond with a tinge of sadness on the brunette's lips

-I honestly have no idea what I am doing … - admitted the brunette with a giggle -... I am just acting very instinctively … and are you going somewhere mister? - he then curiously inquired, joining his hands behind the blond's neck

-I might soon have too ...- tenderly replied the blond, whom had first opted to lie in reply. He had opted to say “no, not really” but he had the feeling the brunette was getting skilled at reading through his lies, and he also didn't feel like doing so anyway. No matter how awful the truth would have turned out to be. If he were correct about the reasons of his father's return, something not too pleasant would have been bound to happen. There had indeed been a time he had waiting for this moments, he saw it like a chance to atone for his mistakes, and if he were ever to survive that, then he would have considered himself worthy of a tiny bit of clemency from the skies until the actual day of his death. Now however, that the apprentice was part of the picture, his resolve was beginning to weaver

-Where to? … - nonchalantly inquired the brunette

-Wherever my father wants us to go … - half answered the brunette, pecking the brunette on his lips -... the reason why he came back, I think … I think I know what he wants ...- added the blond with a smile - … and if that is the case, then I think I should tell him first … no … I want tot ell him first ...- firmly stated the blond

-What about? May I ask? … - questioned the brunette, kindly observing the lawyer

-About my promise with my mother … - lowly replied the blond -... where my mother was our mother, she was also his wife ...- began to express the blond -... I know for a fact that my father cares about my mother more than any person in the world, and as I child I would have never been able to make such a reasoning, but now, as an adult … I cannot help but feel also responsibility for having tempered with their lives … reason why I have always tried to make the other not hate them both … but Takeru in particular … will not have it, not that I blame him at all … it was just … so complicated … though it really would have been easily solved if I had come clean long ago …- he then bitterly smiled -... I am such a coward, it is quite disgust- he tried to added, but was suddenly interrupted by the apprentice

-Do not say that - sternly warned the brunette -... where is the wrong in wanting to the beloved, and not hated by one's own family ...- stated the apprentice -... like all of us, you are merely human Akira, we longed to be loved, fear rejection and neglect, there is nothing bad with that. The means might not be the most advised, there are always better ways to obtain something without hurting others in the process, but in most cases, someone is always going to get hurt … and unfortunately it cannot be helped - concluded the brunette firmly staring at the blond

-Then I should have chosen to be the one to suffer, I should have made it in such a way that Takeru could- began to commiserate speak the blond, whom however was abruptly interrupted by the brunette

-We are not going to have this discussion again - sternly commanded the brunette, leaving the blond instantly silent, as he began to see traces of the fears Yutaka from the previous evening -... we are not going to talk about should haves, could haves, and would haves but only wills right? - inquired the brunette intently starting at the blond, who silently nodded -... good,so I do not want to hear that anymore, clear? - added the brunette

-Yessir! - firmly exclaimed the blond, soon after closing his eyes,a nd slightly ducking his head, thinking that he was going to be slapped, but feeling anything, he slowly opened his eyes, lifted his head back up, and as soon as he had done that, Yuatka promptly slapped his head

-That was a serious moment ...- whined the brunette with a pout, releasing the blond's neck, and folding his arms on his chest

-I am terribly sorry … - quickly apologized the blond with a feign hurt expression -... I absolutely had no intention of diminishing your authority Doctor Uke ...- playfully stated the blond -... please I beg for you forgiveness - he then pleaded

-One … - smugly began the apprentice -... I am not a doctor yet, two … I liked better when you call me by my name … - he added with a quick smile -... three, this would really be the cue for your word of devotion, and list of eternal gifts - concluded the brunette, making the blond inwardly smirk to the way said gifts way gradually assuming graver connotations, from being at first simply gifts, and now eternal

-Alright alright … here it is … -reassuringly stated the blond, while performing a throat clearing cough, and carefully getting himself a part from the brunette, he stood up - I, Akira Hayashi, am surprisingly, unexpectedly, quickly, and surely falling head over heels for you Yutaka Uke … - began the blond with the perfected mockery of a strong and confident tone, while looking down at the composedly sat and smiling brunette on the floor -... I have indeed treated you poorly in days preceding today, and I am hoping you do believe in my complete and most sincere apologies and penitence … - haughtily proceeded the blond, slowly pacing back and forth, with his arms folded behind his back, as if he were defending a case in court -... I thus stand here before you promising you a life of richness, security, certainty and serenity - kept pacing the blond, as the brunette kept observing amused - … during this union, the here present Yutaka Uke is allowed to- tried to progress the blond but was interrupted by the brunette

-Objection ...- nonchalantly expressed the brunette

-Objection sustained - as nonchalantly consented the blond, while smugly smiling

-I did not seem to have heard any promise of love among the things I am to gain from this union ...- stated the brunette with a feign condescending tone -... thus I am afraid I cannot accept - he then added, playfully turning his head away

-You have a good argument there sir … - thoughtfully replied the lawyer, silently resuming his pacing -... so what if I substituted richness, security, certainty and serenity, with love … how would that sound?- he then proposed, as the brunette, suspiciously turned his head around, looking up at the blond

-Well … it depends ...- finally replied the brunette, getting off the ground, and walking towards the window, and leaning on it -... how much love are you talking about sit?- he then inquired seemingly trying his best not to smile

-Lots - promptly replied the blond, slowly walking towards the brunette -... the type that can provide for richness, security, certainty and serenity all at ones ...- whispered the blond once he stood right in front of the brunette

-Is that so? ...- coolly replied the brunette, glimpsing at the lawyer

-Yes sir, precisely as much - confidently replied the blond, slowly placing his hands on the yougner's waist, while getting closer if possible

-If that is truly so sir ...- then replied the brunette, shyly looking up at the blond -... I will need your signature on some sort of document that proves as much - intriguingly proposed the brunette

-As you wish … - sensually whispered the blond slightly lowering to seal their lips together, this time, in a more passionate kiss, which was still slow, but its intensity had been enough to leave both parties breathless once it was over -... was this signature any good? ...- then inquired the lawyer

-Acceptable I would say ...- haughtily replied the brunette, after which they both laughed - … you really love your job is it not? - then inquired the brunette -... you always seem to smile so brightly whenever you are with your clients … in all honesty ...- he then paused, hiding his face into the blond's chest -... I was very jealous of they fact that they could make you smile … in fact, that was about the time I found out for sure that I did like you ...- he mumbled on the blond's shirt

-I do like it a lot … - replied the blond, tenderly smiling, as he placed his chin over the brunette's -... being the lawyer of justice meant not being me, I can be someone else when I am working ...- began to explain the blond -... I can construct a better me, the me I would have wanted to be … the me I would have been if … you know ...- concluded the blond -... and apparently, that's the actual person you actual fell in love with ...- he then lightly smirked

-But you are the lawyer of justice! - protested the brunette in slight annoyance, suddenly pulling away from the blond, and staring right into his eyes -... he is a very present part of yourself, do not talk about it like you were different people Akira Hayashi is the lawyer of justice, period - sternly stated the brunette

-You know ...- chuckled the blond, watching the brunette's serious expression -... I do not quite know which side of you I love best, your cute one, or your fierce one … I find them both arousing, which will constituent a big problem, you could say, in the near future - pointed out the blond, already feeling excited about the time he'd get to see the brunette in all his natural beauty, the mere thought causing a sudden rush of blood straight to his head, and somewhere else down below

-Is not like you have to chose ...- bashfully stated the brunette, with a slight of smugness -... I am all yours anyways - he nonchalantly stated as a matter-of-fact, completely ignorant of how much said sentence could result to be provoking

-Alright ...- suddenly announced the blond, pulling away from the brunette, while holding him by the hand, and dragging him out of the window area as well -... we should get going ...- stated the blond

-W-where to? ...- bemusedly inquired the brunette

-To talk to my father ...- plainly stated the blond, as they walked out of the room, still hands in hands

-Should I really be going with you? Is it alright for me to interfere? … - doubtingly and hesitantly inquired the brunette, as he walked seemingly self-conscious of the fact that they were walking hand in hand

-Yes it is fine, as I said I believe I know the subject that will be in question, and I also will need you to be by my side when I start talking about my own issue ...- he specified, tightening his grip around the brunette's hand -... moreover, and this last point I wish you clearly understand, I firmly intend to spend the next days walking around with you just as we are doing now, hand in hand … I will not have it any other way, no objection will be sustained, and if anyone will have something to say, they will have a taste of my wrath ...- he added, lightly smiling at the brunette, who then silently smiled and nodded at the blond in reply, most of the tension seemingly relieved -good - he then confidently concluded

As they proceeded towards his father's office, Akira made sure not to abandon said had once. Glimpsing at the brunette every now and then, he newly thanked the skies for his presence, and now as they faced the offices of the commander's office, he dared to make another selfish wish, because he really wouldn't have minded being able to keep walking hand in hand with the brunette for a longer period of time than the one he would soon be bestowed with. Thus, If he were be somehow allowed to be a bit more selfish, on top of the happiness he had just gained, Akira was now pleading to be allowed to eventually be able to come back home; alive.

CHAPTER 18 PART 2

A/N: So … aren't they cute?!? LOL damn me and my OTP advocating, thought I'd throw in a little bit of “fanservice” in here, while we analyze Akira's blooming I think one you guys used the word blooming in one of you comments, I really love this verb lol feeling for Yutaka. So quite a couple of things are going on here, some of them which are probably not such a mystery by now, such as … where is Akira going to? Well, one chapter has been added, so it is no more 21 but 22, and part two of this, shouldn't take too long to come out~ Thus … as always … thanks for reading everyone!

Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-