HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka : CHAPTER 21 PART 1

[luna_no_koibito]

Title: HOUSE OF SIN - The Diary of Uke Yutaka
Chapters: 21.1 / 22
Author: luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human drama, romance, war, angst.
Warnings:  men/men relationship, cursing, sex, violence, incest.
Rating: from PG -15 to NC-17 (Depending on chapter)
Pairing: Revealing this might spoil the story just yet ... suggest looking at the character list (^_^)!
Bands: the GazettE, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Nightmare, An Cafe', Alice Nine, Kra, SuG.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary:
  MAIN



made by lovely_carrion

CHAPTER 20 PART 2


“Yutaka ...”

They had made love twice more. Once immediately following their first time, as they stayed naked cuddling each other, one action very naturally pulled the other. The second time had happened in Akira's room, after they had finally finish ordering all those seemingly never-ending documents. They had dressed up by then, and Akira had grabbed his hand, and like two children they ran into his room. It was already dark, if they had stopped to think about it, they would have realized that they were hungry, but as it unfolded, their sexual hunger had been stronger.

“Yutaka? ...”

As they woke this morning, Yutaka almost pulled the same silent behavior he had the previous morning, but minded himself from doing as much, as he stayed cuddles up to the elder, pretending to still be asleep, when he heard the elder whisper his name in his ear. And now there was Akira, up and busy getting ready to fight for his country. There was something vaguely fascinating about that, something to be almost proud of. Yet it was only in thoughts, the reality was that this was awful, completely unwanted, and he still wasn't sure he would be able to watch him sail away at the port. Even after all the attentions they had given each other for the past two days, it still wasn't enough; it never would have been enough.

“... Yutaka Uke, it is the almighty God your creator that calls you!” suddenly called a voice.

“Uh? ...” bemusedly mumbled Yutaka facing Akira, when he finally understood that the elder had been the owner of the voice.

“I have been calling you for the past five minute, are you alright? ...” tenderly questioned Akira turning his head around to look at the apprentice, whom was sitting at the edge of his bed, smiling back at him.

“Y-yeah, sorry, lost in thought ...” he quickly apologized, as the elder nodded and turnied to face the full-size mirror he had been standing in front of for the past five minutes.

“So ...” sighed Akira, glimpsing at Yutaka from the full-size mirror “... how do I look?” he then questioned, assuming a feign condescending posture.

“You look ... powerful” genuinely stated Yutaka, as he stood up, and walked behind Akira, observing his lover in his uniform from the mirror as well. Akira was wearing a regular red and white national army uniform, but it had pins of distinction granted to the Hayashi family for outstanding conduct through generations. One of the pins however, had been specifically awarded to the blond himself for exemplary conduct during service in non-belligerent period.

“That is all? ...” expressed the blond, turning to face the brunette with a slight pout.

“And … elegant, handsome, sophisticated … victorious ...” tried to add the younger, shaking his head in wonder and amusement. Akira was truly trying to make this as less heartbreaking as he could, and Yutaka was sincerely grateful for all his efforts. Thus, he would have done his best to hold up; until it was safe enough to let go.

“Victorious ...” slowly expressed the blond, turning back to look at himself in the mirror “... victorious ...” he newly repeated, this time with a smile, and more confidence, as if he had actually been trying on the word rather than the uniform itself “... I like the sound of that” he then smirked, pressing down the front of his red jacket.

“Yes, indeed, I do as much ...” serenely expressed the brunette, walking towards the bed, to take a hold of the black hat that went with the uniform, and handed it to elder, whom however didn't take it.

“You will put it on me, just before I get on the ship, at the port” he smiled, kissing Yutaka's forehead, as the the brunette bit down on his lip, still uncertain he would have been able to go that far. Yet he had just finished promising himself that he would man up, and that much he would do.

“Alright “ confidently replied the apprentice.

888---***---888

“Are you sure this goes this way? ...” inquired Takahiro, whom gave the black uniform hat a forty-five degree turn, while looking at his image in the mirror. He'd had his years of obligatory service, and there was no way he wouldn't know how to fit the stupid military hat. He'd also been harshly punished for forgetting to wear it once.

“... I have always … drawn them … the other way” expressed Kazamsa with a touch of guilt and innocence in his voice “... I always thought they looked awkward … in the way they are supposed to be ...” he finally admitted, while apologetically smiling at the elder, whom looked back at the younger, then back at the hat's reflection in the mirror, and once again back at Kazamasa.

“It does kind of look as if I were wearing a penis and balls on my head ...” he nonchalantly observed, making the younger grin and nod “Alright … make it look less awkward again … “ he instructed, turning an bending his head once more for the younger, whom widely smiled, and shifted the hat on his head until he was satisfied.

“There ...” He announced, as they both looked at the reflection in the mirror.

“Now …” gingerly attempted Takahiro “... I do not even know what shape could that be” he resignedly smirked.

“Better than genitalia ...” lowly added Kazamasa, in a pretense innocent voice.

“Indeed so” admitted the elder.

888---***---888

Yasuno looked marvelous in anything he wore, not to talk about when he wore nothing, but generally speaking, he was quite the handsome man, and the uniform just made him incredibly enthralling. If this sort of look could kill, he would never have to risk his life during the stupid battles. He would win each and every single one of them, and also cause internal casualties because nobody, but Takeru, was immune to the power of his handsomeness. Thus the nation would then send him straight home to him after concluding Yasuno was too lethal a weapon; or at least, that was how Takeru liked to think of the whole situation.

“Can I play with your pistol? ...” innocently asked Takeru, as they walked out of the dining room where they all had what seem to be quite a regular family lunch, for the first time ever with the entire family, and their guests.

“Little boys should not play with big boys' toys” smugly replied the elder, instinctively touching the pistol hanging at the side of his waist, safely secured in its belt.

“... but you have always let me so far” mischievously pointed out the younger, gaining first a confused look from the elder, then as soon as it had been made clear from Yasuno's expression that he had picked on the implicit meaning, the elder simply smiled and shook his head.

888---***---888

“I here stand before my sons, as my father stood before me and my brothers, his father before him and his brothers, and so on ...” began General Hayashi, as Yasuno, Akira, and Takahiro stood in a line in front of the house where every attendant, Yutaka, father Byou, Uncle Koyou, and everyone in the mansion had gathered “... as tradition in our family, we will pray for our ancestors to grant us protection, we pray that they will watch over us, and that they will receive us warmly in the case we were to leave this world” concluded the general followed by an unenthusiastic but rather loud Amen.

Yutaka silently observed as some of the house attendants wished Akira and all the others luck, some of the elderly attendants were crying as they did, and Akira simply sported his amazing smile and told them to not worry. He confidently told them that he would return.

“In my absence you all keep on with your marvelous job … and please take care of him” he then stated looking at the apprentice, whom stupidly blinked a couple of times, and silently blushing he stared at the blond looking rather offended, as the servants lightly giggled.

“I can take care of myself you thank you ...” pointedly observed the apprentice, acting as offended as he could manage.

“Sure you can ...” nonchalantly nodded and smiled the blond, turning towards the attendants to silently mouth a please in a pretense pleading motion, making them laugh again, and the brunette rather swiftly hit him on the chest with his hat.

888---***---888

He looked so cute, though Takhiro. Kazamasa looked like a child discovering the outside world for the first time. He thought really hard about it, and tried as he might, he simply couldn't remember the last time that the younger had actually being out of that house. Sad a fact as it was at the moment, he had to admit that there had been a time he actually did not care to even acknowledge the younger's existence. Oh were things different now.

“I cannot even remember the last time you came out of the house … which is bad ...” dismally confessed Takahiro as he kept observing Kazamasa's enthralled features caused by the on-moving scenery from their carriage.

“It is not a big deal, do not worry ...” reassured the younger, quickly smiling at the elder, from his side of the carriage “It was long time ago any way, I was a child ...” began Kazamasa, as he kept cheerfully witnessing all the views that they were passing by “... we went downtown altogether with Uncle Kouyou, and now that I think about it ... I finally understand what happened that day ...” he lightly smiled to himself, turning away from the window to glimpse at a sorrowful looking Takahiro.

“What … happened? ...”gingerly inquired the elder, truthfully not remembering a single thing about the day the younger was referring to, and feeling incredibly horrible for it.

“Uncle Kouyou bought us candy, and ...” Kazamasa then stopped and shyly stared at his laps “... you gave yours to me ...” he informed, still intently gazing at his legs “... ever since … I … started to like that particular type of candy … quite a lot but ...” he bashfully admitted, and raised his head to then face the window as he interrupted himself.

“But? ...” inquired Takahiro in a cute impatient way, shyly looking at the younger, feeling somewhat embarrassed and satisfied at the same time for having been the one to have caused such an addiction, yet, he still felt rather troubled for not remembering exactly the happening.

“But … you had probably given it to me because you received one that was different from Akira's ...” smiled the younger, at which Takahiro eyes went instantly wide, as the event of that day suddenly replied in his head. As correctly stated by Kazamasa, Takahiro had indeed done just that, and Akira being the attentive and caring brother of always, had given him his own, making him incredibly happy. At time, Kazamasa had been the first human that had been around himself, thus, instead of tossing the candy away like he normally would have, he had decided to impress Akira and perform a good deed, like Akira often would have. It was now rather unsettling how, thinking through the event, even though he knew he had absolutely no reason to feel as much, made him feel like he had somehow cheated on the younger. He wanted to say something, to justify want needed no justification, but he had absolutely no idea what to say “... but, I gave you the same type of candy on the day we finally spoke again for the "first time" … when I read your poem for the first time … and you ate it willingly … so I guess I am not competing with Akira anymore” he shyly stated, with a light playful tone.

“Of course you are not!” suddenly snapped Takahiro, making the younger jolt just a little at the sudden reaction “You have never been competing I promise. There was a time I adore Akira true, but even then it was in a brotherly way. And when I finally started to give you the attention you have always deserved there was never any time I thought of replacing the time I spent with you for Akira. Never. I did think once or twice, that I would have loved for the two of us to be close again, but that would have been on a second plane, you did and always will come first” positively concluded Takahiro, whom strongly felt the need to clarify that one little point.

Shyly smiling, Kazamasa got up from his side of the carriage and sat on the opposite side next to Takahiro, and pecked him on the cheek “... I know” he satisfyingly stated, and turned back to look at the scenery from Takahiro's window, with the elder cuddling his chin on the crook of his neck.

888---***---888

“You know ...” began Kouyou, as he absently looked in the direction of father Byou, whom was sitting next to general Hayashi “... I never saw the point in playing swords with the two of you when we were children” he pointed out, as the other two merely stood silent staring back at him, clearly not knowing what to say “... I mean, I knew it was just a game, I had seen other kids play it … and I have played it with other kids once or twice, but-” he trailed off, but stopped as the youngest among the three of them in their carriage interrupted him.

“Is the beginning of a bigger confession? ...” irritatingly inspected the priest “... because I am not sure I want to hear the rest Kouyou ...” he sceptically added.

“Would you let me finish Takuya? ...” viciously interjected Kouyou, angrily looking at Yoshiki.

“Let him finish Takuya ...” sighed Yoshiki, as the youngest rolled his eyes, and Kouyou performed a victorious pout.

“I was about to say ...” stressed out the brunette as he resumed “... that the two of you seemed to take the game a little too seriously, and with me whom did not care in the least, I would have definitely got injured by it, but ...” he then paused, genuinely smiling at the both of them “... but … it was very entertaining to watch you both duel, it always has been, which is why I often sat around you guys, reading a book, talking with Namie or Kaoru ...” he explained, as he then nonchalantly turned to face out the side of his window “... perhaps, I just always felt safe around the both of you, and I may not show it in the most conventional way, but I love you both” he calmly declared “Even though you have done quite questionable shit during both your lives … not like I can say that I am a saint … but the thing is ...” he then paused, turning to face Yoshiki “... you die in this war, and England might finally see the era of a new king” he sarcastically smiled.

“Jesus Christ of Nazareth please do not die brother!” playfully remarked father Byou, serenely smiling at the brunette, whom rolled his eyes as well. They then stayed in a comfortable silence for the remaining of the trip, until as they approached the port Yoshiki spoke.

“... I would like for all my, and your children, to be happy” he simply stated “... in order to reach that goal, what will need to be done, will be done” he concluded as the carriage stopped.

888---***---888

So there they finally were. As Yasuno got off the coach that he shared with Takeru, whom followed right after him, he looked around and saw all the soldiers surrounded by their families. Some leaving behind their parents, some their own children, some their siblings, some their lovers, and some everything at once. They all seemed to have someone, whom would mourn their absence if they were to die. Then, he spotted a lonely soldier, with nobody by him side, silently waiting by the entrance to the bridge. His face calm, determined, almost cold, so he wondered. Yasuno wondered whether it would have been better to have nobody worrying on oneself, to die unknown and cause pain to nobody. Disappear without a trace.

“What are you thinking? ...” inquired Takeru, as he looked in the same direction as Yasuno “... do not tell me that you are already fancying some guy?!” he swiftly and rashly observed, receiving a playful smack on his head from the elder.

“I absolutely was not thinking as much ...” sighed Yasuno “... I was thinking how sad it would be for that lad to die alone if he were to … giving as how he has nobody” he explained.

“Then befriend him ...” replied the younger rather matter-of-factly “... so that if that were to happen, you will mourn his death, and he will not be a face without a name” Takeru pointed out with such simplicity that Yasuno could not believe he had not think about it at all. This boy really knew how to impress him every single time “... if you though try and fall for him, I will have both your balls, then-” he then began to remark, but wasn't allowed to concluded as Yasuno took over.

“then hurt me so bad I wish I would die?” he concluded grinning at the younger.

“Precisely ...” condescendingly smiled the younger “... I always said it, threatening works better than sweet words, you think that if Jesus had said Kill you filthy bastards, and as such you shall be killed, rather than … Please do not kill, we would have so many sinners? I do not think so ...” pointed out the younger, as Yasuno simply laughed.

You had to love him.

888---***---888

“Alright ...” lowly announced Akira, turning to face Yutaka, whom genuinely was using all the perseverance and strength that he had to stand tall and tearless in front of his beloved “... time to board”.

They stood motionless in front of each other, at the expected distance for two gentlemen whom were not strangers but not relatives either. They silently observed all the heterosexual lovers, whom had absolutely no distance between them, as it was expected from them, and for a second, Yutaka wondered, just how bad it would be if he publicly kissed the blond like all the other lovers seemed to have the privilege to. They would be imprisoned, and everything would be taken away from them, he knew that very well already, and in retrospective, it wasn't such a bad idea, after all they would be in prison together. Yet, it really wasn't the best scenario, and this was something the blond really wanted to do, so he would simply have to respect his wishes, and hope for the absolute best.

“Yes ...” replied the younger almost in a whisper, as he felt his voice about to falter “... here” he then swiftly added, with a bit more confidence, as he took a few steps, and motioned to place the hat on Akira's head, whom however, suddenly raised his head before the hat had actually touched his head, and in doing so, their lips grazed each other; in a rather decisive way.

“I beg your pardon, I thought you were done ...” he replied initially sounding rather sorry, but a few second later, Yutaka distinctively saw him lightly grin.

“No worries ...” smiled the apprentice, finally placing the hat on.

“Well then ...” stated Akira, as Takeru rushed between them to tightly hug him.

“You, all of you, make sure to come back home!” he loudly mumbled into the elder's uniform.

“Yes sir ...” tenderly replied Akira, patting Takeru's head, then raising his head, he saw a sorrowful and hesitant looking Kazamasa approaching him “... hey, no long faces” lightly requested the elder, as Takeru untangled himself, and allowed Kazamasa to hug Akira as well “... you be good as well” stated the elder, and the younger silently nodded “... alright time to go” he finally announced patting Kazamasa's head as well, and after giving a last look at Yutaka, he smiled at him, and walked away joining his father, Takahiro, and Yasuno towards the ship in the mist of all the other soldiers, and if he weren't mistaken, it was his own heart that Yutaka was feeling breaking at that very moment.

Sooner than later, the ship began to move, and Yutaka hadn't moved a single step from the spot in which he'd watched Akira walk away. A few second later people began to frantically wave, and scream the names of their beloved at the top of their lungs. Yutaka wondered where they were all looking, given as how it was absolutely impossible to discern any of the heads on top of the same read coat, that were weaving back. He was sure Akira, and the others were as well waving back at them, and he should have done the same, but Yutaka couldn't seem to be bale to move any limb in his body, as he simply stared at the moving ship. However, as a pang in his heart reminded him that this might have been the last time he might be in Akira's presence, he quickly raised his hand and waved, the best he could, his voice still not making it out though..

Thus, the ship sailed, and himself, Takeru, Kazamasa, and others strangers had still stayed to watch it disappear in the horizon, which took a while, but nobody seemed willing to leave until the ship was still in sight.

“Let us go ...” finally stated Uncle Kouyou “... we have to go now” he added, trying to sound as if he hadn't been the one crying from the moment they each left their carriage until the ship sailed “... lets be strong and do our parts over here” he concluded walking away, followed by Kazamasa.

“I saw that accident-kiss ...” suddenly observed Takeru, talking to Yutaka, whom had began to walk away as well. The apprentice silently turned to absently look at Takeru, whom walked to join his side “... I did not know my bother to be capable of such ...” he stated, glimpsing at the brunette a tad bit clumsily “... you really … he really must love you” he agitatedly concluded, as if he suddenly felt shy around the apprentice, whom merely smiled in reply “... if so, then I see no reason for me to hate you, I suppose, and … ugh ...” he then exasperatedly sighed “... what I am trying to say is, that if you do not mind … I would like for us to start afresh … I know I have done some despicable things … they were all my fault, I admit to everything and-” Takeru confusedly went on, when Yutaka suddenly interrupted him.

“I would love for us to ...” genuinely stated Yutaka, at which Takeru strongly nodded, wit a big smile.

“Alright then you must come and ride in the carriage with me and Kazamasa ...” he requested, as Yutaka smiled and followed in toe.

The trip back to the mansion had perhaps been the longest one he'd ever had , since he'd set foot in England, and once they finally reached the estate, he took a good look at the mansion from outside, and as he had thought, it didn't quite feel the same “... do you feel like having dinner Mr. Uke?” inquired Takeru as they walked inside, the younger himself not looking like he had much of an appetite.

“Not really, I think I will skip for tonight and get some rest ...” placidly replied Yutaka “... and you can call me Yutaka” he then added, receiving an understanding nod from Takeru.

“Sleep well then, Yutaka ...” professed the younger, whom directed himself towards the staircase, whereas the apprentice absently walked out into the gardens, and straight into Akira's cottage, where he locked himself in, leaning on the closed door, and absently watching the sunset from the window in front of himself, behind the desk where he'd often seen Akira sit, and at which feet Tora and Saga where silently resting.

“It is alright now, right? ...” he then suddenly inquired, as he slid down the door to the ground, the same way tears began to flow down his cheeks “... it is alright now for me to cry, right?” he inquired to nobody, as Tora and Saga suddenly got to their paws and went to crouch besides him, Tora placing his muzzle on his lap, while Yutaka kept crying “... just ...” he then resumed, keeping his head leaned on the door “... just come back, please, all of you … just … come back safe”.

CHAPTER 21 PART 2

A/N: WOWOWOWOWWO …. we are so close to the end, and this chapter has 3 parts and I'll try my best to deliver~~~ as best as I can. As you can see, I kinda divided this part in a way that we saw all of the couples and some other people interact to each other until it was time to sail (almost as if it were a movie) and Takeru is trying to be a good boy … how cute, lol Yasuno is right, have to love him. Well … I'll go off and write the second part BUT FIRST I most reply to all your comments!! … okay Night~! THANKS FOR READING as always~

Also I'll post on the communities when I'll get the whole thing out, but I'll keep posting the parts as soon as I am done on my journal~

Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-