SILENT KNIGHT, HIDDEN PRINCESS - CHAPTER 1 / ??
Title: Silent Knight, Hidden Princess
Chaper: 1 - A Flutter in Hokkaido / ??
Author:luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: some cursing (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-14 (for this chapter)
Pairing: Reita / Kai
Bands: The GazettE
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Be. Who you were meant to be, who they want you to be, or who you want to be. This is the story of two boys, eighteen year old Akira Suzuki and fifteen year old Yutaka Uke. This is the story of discovery, love, pain, and all the things that make life what it is; either it good or bad. This is the story of their search, fight, acceptance, hurt, growth, and their trial to understand exactly who and what they want to be in this world. This, is the story of the silent knight, and the hidden princess.
MAIN & LIST OF CHAPTERS
PROLOGUE - Spirits in The World
A Flutter in Hokkaido
April, 2011;
Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.
Sometimes, picture are worth a thousand words. It was an unquestionable fact, and Akira couldn't agree more. However, in his own case, that was all that pictures would ever be. His pictures, his drawings, were his words, and he was at a point in his young, but abundantly, lived life in which he was perfectly fine with them being so. He was born mute, and there was nothing that could be done about it. Never would he have heard his voice, never would he have had the possibility of acquiring one. Were he to have been able to speak, Akira now knew deep down inside that he wouldn't have been a great talker anyways. Thus it wasn’t altogether a great loss, was it now? Not to say that he never wished to have been able to talk, being mute wasn't anything to brag about, but, he could have been born mute and deaf, so he did have blessings to count, knowing how rare it was to be born only mute, and being naturally more optimist than not.
“I will be late tonight as well ...” shouted his mother as she rushed behind him, who was calmly walking towards the front door, while nonchalantly wearing his dark gray winter coat “... I wonder when will this end, I almost can't remember the last time we had a dinner together ...” she then sadly sighed, while stopping in front of her son, just to casually fix his black woolen hat, and black scarf, which she absolutely needed not to and Akira's grave what the hell are you doing mom? look said it all “What? … am I now not allowed to make sure that my handsome eighteen year old son looks as handsome as he is?” she endearingly grinned, and kissed his forehead, as Akira meekly rolled his eyes “... you know, you should really consider wearing contacts, you would look smoking hot!” she then smugly professed, which earned her a rather disgusted and disbelieving expression from the blond, whom instantly turned to quickly open the front door, as she giggled in the usual cutesy way she always had “Hey!” she then yelled, making him stop at the threshold, and look back “... love you, be safe” she tenderly wished. He smiled, took a step back, hugged her, and left.
Love you, be safe, his mother always had this particular expression when she professed those four words. There was love indeed, but there was also worry, hope, pride as well, and so much more. He'd tried once to paint that moment, relying on his memory the best he could, but every time he looked at the drawing, it always felt like there was an emotion missing. He used to find that quite frustrating, but not demoralizing, the fact that he didn't seem to be able to capture the entire essence of his mother's "Love you, be safe" wasn't such a discouraging fact after all, considering how, ironically so, even words themselves didn't seem to be able to completely convey said range of emotions. However, eventually he'd succeed in drawing her, possibly before, and if, he would have made his decision to leave.
It was a bit too early to be out and about, earlier than any other high school student, who lived in Hokkaido, would dream to be up and dandy during a winter morning. School would have started in an hour or so, but that was just the right time to be out according to him. During that time of the day, the sky had particularly delicate and warm colors, which he thought would have soothed his new subject. Today was the first day of his last year in high school, and he wanted to depict that range of emotions. Thus he sneaked himself into the school, through a still unbelievably unnoticed sort-of-entrance in the back of the baseball field, and some minutes later he was in front of their school building, from which he kept on walking, finally placing himself right under their stigma big oak tree. Then, facing the not so distant main entrance gates, he uncovered his mini-canvas, brought his pencil out, and began to draw.
Following regular logic, given that his intention was to represent an emotion involving the school, he should have been facing it, and not backing it. Yet, he chose the closed school gate as his main subject, with whatever was behind it instead, because it perfectly conveyed his present feelings. Reluctance, that's what he felt, and that gate was presently the only thing separating him from the outside world, which he would be soon forced to face. Within the gate, he was being protected from that prospect, and soon it would have been populated by students, his close friends, teachers and staff, all very endearing factors to him.
Basically, he didn't really want to graduate, or rather, he wanted to ... but not really? Though in his case, it wasn't like he had no idea what to do once out, in fact, he was well set to have a flourishing career, if he didn't screw up.
He had been given two scholarships to study architecture, one in Tokyo, and one in Florence, Italy. Needless to say, he obviously was ninety-percent inclined to choose Italy. However, the idea of having to leave such a comfortable place, to face the seemingly colder and knowingly brooder world that awaited him outside those gates, was quite intimidating. It was a rather childish and selfish thought, he knew, but he couldn't help it, and he wouldn't either. Soon or later, he'd have to move on, everything moved on. All he could do about it at the moment, was draw. Thus, he kept drawing.
“Don't tell me you lost the sense of touch! ...” exclaimed a familiar voice in mock surprise. Turning around, Akira then looked up to quickly glance at his best friend Yuu, also known as Aoi, standing with his hands deep in the pockets of his black later bomber jacket “... I mean, who the fuck sits on snow, don't you feel wet or something? It will look like you peed on yourself when you get up you know? ...” snickered Aoi, as he leaned on the oak tree, staring at the canvas.
The brunette had a point. His coat was thick enough though, so he didn’t feel the wetness, but its color and material would have made it so it did seem like he had peed on himself, given how long he'd been sitting there. Had he cared any, he probably would have ran home, but he didn't. Akira had never been the type to want to impress anybody, teachers could care less, his other friends would have simply made fun of him, and he wasn't up to hit on any girl anytime soon, even though many of them seemed particularly interested in him to his truest bemusement.
His real concern, at the moment, was how did time always seemed to pass so quickly, the fact that the taller brunette had arrived, meant that at least an hour had passed. And as if he had just been awaken into his present reality, he blinked out of his drawing frenzy, and suddenly noticed that students and other people had already filled the vast courtyard. He then hopelessly sighed, while shaking his head, at the sight of the opened gate that was still quite close on his canvas, which also had not a living soul in it, compared to the spirited environment he was being surrounded with.
A new academic year was finally on its way to start, everything was going back to what the summer had momentarily frozen, freshmen were shyly looking around, sophomores were acting cocky, and some seniors were already absent. Nothing out of the ordinary, he thought smiling, as other people in his usual crew, namely Ruki, Omi, Olivia, Kazuki, and others, joined him and Aoi, some merely shivering a hi, others affectionately hugging him. How was he supposed to happily move on from all of this?
Then again, there was something else.
A very nagging sensation that he hadn't been able to quite grasp, as to why he was dreading his moving on into adulthood. Something was missing. That much he knew, but what, he just couldn't tell, and god he wished he knew. This particular feeling, was the reason of his recent overactive drawing, he was hoping to find an answer in them, given as to how often his drawings seemed to clearly show truths about himself through his subconscious, in the same way dreams did. However, so far, he'd been rather unsuccessful, and as he kept drawing, the feeling kept lingering, strong.
“Ah!” suddenly exclaimed Aoi, frantically waving towards the gate “Kai! Over here!” he then yelled as he kept waiving, making everyone in the group, Akira included, shift their attention towards the gate and watch as a brunette boy calmly walked towards them. The name sounded familiar, incredibly so at that, Akira pondered, actually, there was only one Kai that he'd ever really known, but the person he knew had moved away long ago, so it couldn't be, could it?
“Wait ...” spoke Ruki, whom was momentarily having the time of his life repeatedly kneeing Akira in his back “... is that Kai, like, your little cousin Kai? ...” added the shorter blond in disbelieve, as Akira kept staring at the approaching brunette, still not quite sure it was whom, he thought it could be, which was whom Ruki was talking about. Aoi's cute little cousin; that's how he remembered Kai.
“Your little and puny, quite effeminate, cousin Kai? ...” lightly snickered Omi, receiving a chiding smack on her breast by Aoi “... what the fuck you pervert! That hurt!” she quickly rebuked.
“Well ...” lowly began Olivia, whose head was customarily leaning on her twin brother Kazuki's shoulder “... he looks nothing close to effeminate to me. On the contrary, he is actually a quite attractive young man I'd say ...” she softly spoke, in her habitual expressionless features. Olivia's incredibly white skin was as spotless as always, her face surrounded by her neatly combed long black hair, and well trimmed even bangs. The student body had proclaimed Olivia to be the pretties girl in school, but in all honesty, Akira had always thought she looked too similar to one of those hinamatsuri dolls, dare say even somewhat Sadakoish, and that, had always crept him out. Just a little. But the whole male student body seemed to be just fine with it, so who was he to judge.
“Ossu” quickly greeted Kai, slightly nodding at Aoi, they politely bowing at everyone else, once he finally joined the group. Everyone replied with a quick good morning, or a quick nod of their head, as Aoi walked towards him, and excitedly held him by the shoulder.
“Some of you may remember him already, but for those who don't know him, this is my cousin Yutaka ...” began the brunette, as Akira mechanically packed his things, not once lifting his gaze from the newly-arrived brunette. Getting to his feet, he then casually back-tracked himself between Ruki and Omi, still staring at the cool-looking boy in front of him, whom if not mistaken, Aoi had just confirmed used to be his little shy cute cousin. He looked, and felt, so different.
“But you can call me Kai” quickly added the shorter brunette, lightly smiling at everyone, in a very charming way, which felt incredibly out of character to Akira. If he correctly recollected, the Kai he knew would have blasted a fairly wide smile, and blushed all over, in a dainty little voice; it had been almost as if he hadn't realize that he was a boy at all. The Kai, whom was presently standing in front of him instead, had absolutely nothing to do with the kid he last saw at least four years ago, and Akira didn’t know why, but the fact seemed to make him somewhat wistful.
“The last time some of you guys saw him was probably … four years ago?” tentatively declared the brunette, receiving a quick nod by the younger “... she left to go to America back then, but now he is back in good old, and cold, Sapporo, and today is his first day as a freshman here so let's treat him well!” explained Aoi, strongly patting his cousin's back, as Akira suddenly and quite randomly wondered if Kai would remember him.
“Yoroshiku ...” coolly stated Kai, with a semi-nod, lightly scratching the back of his head. The new Kai seemed so at ease in his boyish ways though, there was no sign of pretending or insecurity, or any of the sort; old Kai was completely gone. And now, wasn't there something particularly wrong in being slighted to the fact that a boy was acting like a boy? That was something alright.
“Well haven't we become as smug as this fellow over here? are you sure you two aren't siblings, rather than cousins?” observed Omi, whom stepped forward to playfully scatter the top of Kai's hair, while wickedly glaring at Aoi, as Kai merely smirked, effortlessly trying to swat her hand away.
“Kai is like a little brother to me, so no surprise, and I am not smug!” retorted Aoi, lifting his hand as if wanting to smack her again, which made Omi lift her clenched hands, in an aggressive defensive pose. Looking at the way the two handled each other, it wasl hard to believe that Aoi and Omi were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was quite the peculiar display of affection they had, but as Aoi had put it, he had finally decided on Omi, whom was absolutely the opposite of what the brunette looked for in a girl because the sex was stellar. But Akira knew Aoi way better than that. He loved him like a brother, but the brunette was a great shit-talker, and wouldn't admit to the fact that he's liked the girl since they had been in kindergarten. “... so lets all treat him well!” warned Aoi, quickly squinting his eyes at everyone “... look? Aren't you lucky? You get to have connections with the coolest seniors at school, you should be grateful to me!” exclaimed Aoi, now being the one to roughly mess with Kai's head, keeping him in a headlock.
“Hai! Hai! I am, I am!” pointedly shouted Kai, this time forcefully, but in a playful manner, trying to free himself from Aoi's grip, forgetting all the cautiousness he had applied with Omi.
“Didn't miss this sound alright ...” composedly stated Kazuki, as he calmly began to withdraw towards the school, with his twin sister tightly holding his arm, and as always, following in extremely-close toe, which fostered all sort of looks and giggles from girls whom just seemed to live to spot incest anywhere they could.
All the same, ever since Akira had known Kazuki, the incredibly tall chestnut hair colored, now senior, had been constantly reassuring people that nothing of the sort was going on between him and his twin sister, and Akira believed him. Olivia wasn't one to talk much with people she wasn't interested in, somewhat condescending if you will, but Kazuki was one of those type of guys, whom even though seemed to share the same condescending expression of his sister, also naturally and strangely emanated trust.
Kazuki may not have been his number one buddy, but Akira knew for a fact that he could trust him hundred percents, something he couldn't quite say for Aoi, for example, even though he was his best friend, Aoi was simply very frivolous at times, and would act too much on impulse doing shit, for instance, that a five year old would know wise not to do. But that was just the way Aoi was, and he'd really wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Then there were folks such as Ruki, whom in terms of friendship probably sat comfortably between Aoi and Kazuki, and whom with all the love in this world; he completely couldn't trust.
“Man, I can't believe this is our last year .. and then, the real world ...” sighed Ruki, as he walked side by side with Akira, whom lightly inhaled and exhaled; his usual way of expressing frustration “... I still have to decided what I want to do, and I really don't think I should be expected to know at the mere age of eighteen … seriously ...” he professed, as they kept walking towards their classes “but what about you, have you decided? Will it be pointless Tokyo, or chance-of-a-life-time Italy? ...” he then inquired, at which Akira merely shrugged, and Ruki sent him a rather skeptical uh-uh look “If you fucking choose Tokyo, I'll fucking kill you …” he then nonchalantly stated. Akira simply gave him a brush-off nod in reply, as Ruki shook is head, while rolling his eyes in an over-exasperated manner, as he entered their class.
“Okay then, see you at lunch, be good ...” excitedly instructed Aoi teasingly imitating an overbearing mother, as he left Kai by the entrance of his class, and walked over to join Akira, whom had remained waiting for him at the threshold of their own class. Kai was still standing there, as Aoi left, and as Akira kept his stance, finding himself looking past Aoi, straight at Kai, the younger brunette smiled at him, almost in that shy way he had known him to, after which he quickly disappeared into his class looking rather troubled. Akira simply stood there, absently staring at the now empty corridor, wondering how come had his heart so weirdly fluttered for a second there “Yo Reita, alright there? ...” inquired Aoi with a smirk calling him with his nickname, as Akira nodded, and joined him into their class.
***
American boy.
Yutaka just had to wondered how it was that bullshit always traveled so quickly. American boy. Whisper after whisper that was all that the brunette could pick out of the excited murmuring voices of the students ogling as him and Aoi made their way through the corridor towards his first class. American boy. And now what exactly made him so? He looked Japanese, he spoke Japanese like a Japanese, ate, dressed, walked, pissed like a Japanese, because, he was born and raised in Japan. Yet, four years spent out of the country were enough to erase all of that. It didn't matter for shits, now, he was the American boy. But seriously, how the fuck did they even get to know about him so quickly? First period hadn't even started for crying out loud.
All the same, he supposed it was in some respect better than begin called sissy boy, fairy … princess. Not like he cared, he never had. He was what he was, and he had been called a princess, because he acted like one, liked acting like one, and would have had no problem with being one. However, the "superior beings" that then, and still now, had control over his life, thought about it differently. Extremely differently. It disgraced his father to have a son, who was thought of as a girl, for he already had a daughter, and needed not another. It disgusted his mother to have a son, whom seemed to share her same passion with make-up, but she was perfectly fine with having him pretend that to be what he wasn't.
Yet it all seemed to be fine and dandy, until the day in which the "superior female being", also known as mother, decided it opportune to read through her son's well hidden and kept diary, and once her eyes fell on the sentence I think he is cute, always thought him to be anyways; hell broke loose. Both his parents, however, had refused to confront him about it, it was as if by not talking about it, there was in fact no issue at all. In fact, that sentence seemed to have simply been the infamous drop that spilled the glass, and it was only because he had desperately brought himself to eavesdrop on his parents conversation, the night before he was being sent to Ameirca, that Yutaka had found out why he was being sent to America. None of his tears had obviously done any good, the begging fell on nonexistent ears, and just like that, he was gone.
Gone to a different country, a different world, a different everything, it could have been Mars he wouldn't have noticed. A military school, specifically geared towards enhancing male traits. Fun; depressingly so. And how to forget the initial language barrier. Initial, because at San Francis military academy, you spoke English, period. He supposed the one thing he can say he gained from that shit-hole was that he could understand English, and speak it more or less. But fuck, if ever were to find himself at its presence again, he swore to God, he'd born it down to ashes. Nonetheless, thanks to his unwavering endurance, which he took after his caring father, and his excellent ways of bullshitting, which he took after his dear mother, he survived San Francis, and just three days ago, he had been of return to Japan, after four long years.
So much had changed. Obviously.
To begin with, his family had changed house, and now, him and his twin sister Yurika did not have to share a room anymore. Her room was right next to his, which, on the day he had first arrived had in it only a bed, a desk, and a wall wardrobe. His mother reassured him that they would have gone shopping for it on the following day, given that they had no idea what he would have wanted in it.
However, as he stood on the threshold of that empty room, and merely stared and such vast emptiness, deep down inside he felt like he was being tested. His parents wanted to be assured that he truly had changed, that if given the chance to, for example, decorate his room, he'd do it accordingly, which meant no pink and hidden female porn he presumed. Was he being too distrustful and judgmental of his parents? No, not really. Yutaka had no parents. The day they so blatantly decided that he wasn't good the way he was, he simultaneously decided the same about them.
The brunette might however still have had a "family member" in Yurika. At the military they hadn't been allowed of any form of electronic or air communication, he hadn't had much of a chance of speaking with her, except for the few monitored phone calls, or the one Christmas they all had come to visit him, during his first year at San Francis. Thus, Yutaka didn't quite know if he could trust her in the same way he always had as they were kids. Though he wanted to, he really wanted to.
There had been no indication that he couldn't trust her thus far. When they met at the airport, she had almost smothered him with her embrace, as she happily cried, which he supposed was a good natural reaction. However, if Yutaka told her that he still liked pink just as much as he used in the past, that his passions hadn't changed, and that now he was hundred percent show of his homosexuality; would things change?
He wasn't apt to want to find, not just yet at least. In the same way he'd keep up with the good-looking, cool American boy act, because he very well knew the difference between being brave and being stupid. Trying to live his life the way he wanted it, as a fifteen year old, who by law still had to answer to his parents, didn't leave space for freedom of expression, not in his family at least, and he truly wasn't in any way psychologically ready to get back to anything even slightly similar to San Franics.
Thus, he'd keep playing along with their game.
He'd keep playing along, even though he had finally got the chance to at least even just see that one person, whose mere thought had kept him going for the past four years. The instant he saw him, the instant he saw Akira, it felt like he had never left at all. The surge of emotions which he had been so apt to feel every time he had been around him, all came rushing back in, as he wondered whether the now blond ever even thought about him in the past four years, which was quite unlikely. At least not in the way Yutaka thought about him.
His parents had made sure to perfectly cover the reasons to his journey, and or his whereabouts following his departure“He had always wanted to study in an English speaking country, so we just felt obliged to help him out in his dream, and what better place than in the United States. Moreover, we feel that if he starts at a younger age, the process will be easier. It will be hard for us as parents, very hard, but we are willing to go to every extent just to make our child happy” that had been the speech so proudly delivered during his good-bye party, at which only friends of his parents attended. Aoi and his family, being family, had also been present.
Following that, the fact that he couldn’t exactly communicate with the outside world, would have probably made it hard for anyone to keep thinking about someone, when having no greater reason other than “he used to stick around” to do so. And that indeed was all he used to do always tag along with him and Aoi, in order to just spend more time with the then as well brunette Akira. All he ever did was observed, like a jolly shadow rejoicing in the simple fact that they could breath the same air, and differently from any other boy around him, Akira didn't seem to be disgusted by it, same had gone for Aoi. Yet they did used to interact much more when they were still in elementary school, which was when the most defying moment in his life had probably happened.
It had really resulted quite hard for himself to simply keep calm and composed while in his presence, considering how he realized that he truly was so handsome, but then again, he had always thought him to be so. That little smile he had subconsciously let through before they both got into their classes, had been a terrible mistake, which he needed to never repeat. He truly needed to be careful, no matter how badly he wanted to be around Akira, he needed to be careful.
The way things were presently standing he was the American boy, cool and dandy, cousin of the other cool and dandy Japanese boy. He loved girls, and baseball, which he played, and would tryout for in the school's team. Nobody knew about what school he had come from. Aoi knew what his parents had told everybody on that day four years ago, which was that he had been in a school in California. Yurika knew the much she had seen when she had come to San Francis. Yutaka only, knew the truth beneath it all and for a while it would remain as such.
“Hey ...” suddenly called a someone standing in front of his desk by the end of his third period , as everyone in the class got ready to go for lunch, or rather, speculated on how, with whom, and where Yutaka was going to go to lunch.
“Yes? …” he calmly replied, glimpsing up at a shaggy-haired brunette, whom was holding an oversized bento box under his armpit. He looked rather mean, his shirt was completely out of his pants, and his free hand was deep into his pockets. Already? Annoyingly thought Yutaka, as he merely continued with his packing. Such a nuisance it would have been to start a fight on the first day of school.
“So …” began the brunette “... rumor has it that you had been invited at the white house for dinner, married one of his daughters in Vegas, and had your honeymoon in Miami ...” quite calmly listed the boy, as Yutaka merely got to his feet, looking, and feeling, completely unaffected by any of the shit, which just came out of the boy's mouth “... all at the same time ...” added the taller boy with a dramatic tone, slowly and cynically looking around at his classmates, whom began to act bashful and ignorant “... my name is Saga ...” then resumed the brunette, extending his hand towards Yutaka, whom glimpsed at it, and then back at the brunette “... I used to be the center of talk all the times, ever since I could remember, and although I must admit that it is nice to not be the one this time around, it still gets on my fucking nerves to see others go through the same shit ...” pointed out the shaggy-haired, putting particular loud emphasis on certain words “... so I think we should like "join forces"” he then concluded with a rather genuine smile, as Yutaka amusingly smirked, and shook his hand.
“Kai, nice to meet you ...” Yutaka added, as he shoved his placed his backpack under his desk.
“Do you have you own lunch? Or are we all waiting for an air force one to bring it in for you ...” Saga loudly and meanly inquired, while menacingly turning to look at all the other students once again, whom then quite promptly got out of the class “... I'm telling you, there is nothing as bad as gossip like in this country ...” frustratingly declared the taller brunette.
“I was going to meet with my cousin in the cafeteria, you are welcome to join if you want, he's cool if you are a friend of mine he wouldn't mind ...” informed Kai, which Saga promptly accepted with a single nod “... as for gossip, it is the same where you go, just the wording, and the language changes ...” plainly replied Yutaka “it is "Americajin" here in Japan, and "Japanese boy" in America, same shit” he explained as they began to walk, but suddenly stopped as something at the very back of the room caught his attention.
A blond haired boy was staring at his bento box, and noticing that he was being watched attempted as much as to uneasily glimpse at the two of them, while bending his head even lower. There had always been something about people, whom were clearly being isolated or just had no choice but to be alone that irked Yutaka. He saw himself in them, and it pained him to have to witness someone else go through the same shit, in the same way perhaps Saga had felt with him.
“Hey ...” Yutaka then called, as the blond snapped his head up, with a quite alarmed looked on his face, as if he expected to get mugged any time soon. Gazing at the terrified expression on the boy's face, he wondered if that had been the way he also had looked the time he was being bullied in elementary school “... you should come and eat with us, I can't yet vouch for Saga here, but I am sort of cool, and you seem like you could use some good company ...” he tried to propose.
“Oi! ...” retorted Saga in playful offense “... I am probably cooler that he is, so if you join it should be because of me, not because of American boy here” harmlessly teased the shaggy-haired. Yet, the blond remained silent, the same look of fear and suspicion still clearly painted on his face. Yutaka wanted nothing more at the moment but to wipe that fucking expression out. Nobody should have to feel that way. Ever.
“I know what it feels to be bullied ...” Yutaka then randomly spoke. He didn’t know whether he was going anywhere with what he was about to say, but he didn't know what else to, and he really didn’t want to leave this boy sitting there and become the next sure subject to what could be vicious bullying “... and what I say may mean shit to you, because you don't know me, and I and Saga surely look rather cool and intimidating … but I swear to whatever fucking god that I do not want to hurt you … once again … can't quite vouch for Saga, but I'll kill him if he does” he sternly and sincerely declared, and this time the shaggy brunette kept his silence, most likely understanding what was going on “... however, if you decide to stay here, I can guarantee you that sooner or later you will be subject to being bullied, and in all honesty, I do not want to have that happening around me, so … please join us, even just to have us a cover” he then pressed.
The boy still silently sat at his desk, his expression now lost into space, most likely contemplating his options, and most certainly still not trusting one single word of what Yutaka had said. It wasn't easy to trust when any moving thing could be a menace, and Yutaka knew that very well.
“How about this ...” then intervened Saga “... we have lunch with you here, I have too much food for me anyways so if American boy here doesn't mind, he can share with me, and let me tell you, this is the best quality food in whole fucking Japan, no burgers and fries shit ...” joked the the shaggy-haired looking serious in face, as he dragged a desk, pushed it against the blond's, placed his bent on it, then grabbed a chair, took it over, and nonchalantly sat on it.
“What are you, some rich brat or something? …” smugly inquired Yutaka, as he also grabbed a chair and sat right next to Saga, observing as he opened his highly refined bento-box, which in Yutaka's opinion had an unnecessary large amount of food and compartments, and three sets of chopsticks neatly placed on the side “... this looks like it could have come out of that drama … what was the name ...” amusingly began Yutaka, as he divertingly began to laugh, while trying to remember the name of said drama, which he had watched way before leaving the country.
“Yeah yeah ... keep laughing American boy ...” expressed Saga in pretense offense, as he handed a pair of chopstick to Yutaka, whom accepted them while still laughing “... and if you must to know, yes, my family is in fact as rich as it gets, reason why I am usually the center of gossip and shit, you know, shit like "he acts so fucking badass breaking all the rules" or "his looking for attention so desperately" and things of the sort ...” shrugged the boy, as he began to chew on some shrimp tempura “... and this I will say, I have never started a fight, it was fights that always started with-” tried to explain the taller brunette, when he was suddenly interrupted by a low and wavering sounding voice coming from the blond boy.
“H-hana yori dango ...” softly spoke the boy, glimpsing at both boys, whom had instantly turned silent. The boy still kept his head lowered, and made that sort of now they are going to hit me expression. Yutaka kindly smiled, teasingly raising his clenched fist, he then hit it on his other hand, making the blond jolt a little. Not exactly the smartest of moves, he quickly realized.
“Exactly! It was Hana yori Dango! That's what it was ...” affirmed Yutaka, as Saga extended his third pair of chopstick to the blond boy as well “... but yours, if possible, is even bigger”.
“O mine is bigger alright ...” coolly professed Saga, while holding his crotch, with his free hand, and still waiting for the blond to accept the extended chopstick “... I know you have food, but this is really a lot, and you should try it and- oh, right, you do have chopstick, because you do have a bento ...my bad” he then quickly excused, scratching the back of his head, Yutaka serenely smirked.
“A-actually ...” arduously began the blond “... I forgot mine … it seems” admitted the blond, his expression, looked like the one of someone, whom had just knocked down a brick wall with his shoulder.
“Oh then here! Wasn't as stupid in the end ...man thank you for making me look cool after all” smiled Saga, as the blond accepted the chopsticks, with a deep bow “... no need for deep bowing, just enjoy your food, and I think I like the three of us together. Yes. How about we exchange cell phone numbers? And just in case you hadn't got this yet I am Saga, he is Kai and you are?” confidently spoke the shaggy-haired, the cellphone talk, instantly reminding Yutaka about his promise to lunch with Aoi.
Yo, something came up so I won't be coming for lunch. But I am fine, just in my third period class, having lunch. Bye he quickly texted Aoi, after which he exchanged numbers with Saga, and waited for the other boy, whom name still they didn't know, to reply.
“Hiroto … my name is Hiroto …” lowly stated the blond.
“Do you have a cell phone Hiroto? ...” inquired Saga, and the blond boy nodded, cautiously bringing it out with another of those expression, this time it was the now they will hit me and take my brand new cellphone one “... well then here is my number, and we should give you a nick name … since we all have one, my real name is Takashi, if you didn't know” quickly explained Saga.
“Mine is Yutaka ..” as promptly added Kai, at which the blond merely nodded.
“How about Pon? Somehow, I feel like it really fits you … what do you say Kai?” Saga inquired nudging his chin at the shorter brunette, whom satisfyingly nodded and grinned in agreement “... well then Pon it is, if it is okay with you Hiroto” affirmed the shaggy-haired, and Hiroto quickly nodded in agreement. Alas, Yutaka suspected that the blond would have nodded even if Saga would have told him that his new name was "cock-sucker" “Are you sure cause we can change it if you want ...” suspiciously inquired Saga, but the blond silently shook his head “... okay …” resignedly agreed the taller.
“What the fuck Kai!” suddenly bellowed what sounded like a Aoi's voice, and which, as Yutaka turned around in his sit to face the entrance, it indeed was. His cousin was standing at the class threshold peeved looking, and began stomp his way into the class, followed by none other than Akira “... dude, you got me worried, what kind of half-assed-fucked-up-cryptic text was that? I had to ask to all the cute freshmen girls about your third period class to find you, and Omi almost grew a dick and gave me a second ass-hole!” complained the lip pierced brunette. In all his habitual finesse.
Trying his best to keep his gaze solely on Aoi, Kai raised a skeptical eye-brow at his cousin and calmly replied “... Aoi, I'm fifteen, I don't need you to baby-sit me. I said I was fine, and that I was having lunch, how cryptic is that?” pointed out the brunette, as Akira mirthfully huffed “Sorry to have made you worry though … but really Aoi … I'll be just fine, trust” stressed out the shorter brunette, as his eye subconsciously fell on Akira and stuck there. The blond nodded in a sign of a salute, which Kai replied with a nod of his, while calmly, in the best of his abilities, replacing his gaze on a more relaxed looking Aoi. Was is it just Yutaka, or was it suddenly getting substantially harder to breath.
“Okay well … sorry for worrying so much about you … ” cynically expressed Aoi “some people like to pick unnecessary fights in this school, so I was just trying to make sure ...” vaguely pointed out the brunette as he eyed the rather sumptuous bento on the table “... oh shit, you've been having the fucking royal treatment here, what's this?” exclaimed the brunette, getting closer to Saga's bento “... Akira come see this shit, it looks fucking delicious, dude” incited the brunette, as Reita calmly walked himself towards the table, standing right between Aoi, and Kai, whom was still seated “Yo … can we try some? ...” shamelessly inquired Aoi.
“This is Saga by the way ...” introduced, Kai speechlessly staring at his cousin's lack of any self-control whatsoever. The shaggy-haired willfully nodded, and extended a hand in permission to the elder, while Kai handed over his chopsticks, trying his best to avoid contact with Akira in the process. The blond's abdomen was practically on his face, and the desire to stare at it was so fierce, he almost trembled in handing his chopsticks to the elder. Not like anything could be seen through a uniform shirt, but Yutaka had his imagination to fill for that. Just like in the past four years “... and he is Hiroto ...” continued Yutaka, genuinely smiling at the gaze averting, head lowered, blond, whom said nothing in reply. He was probably frozen in fear by now, thinking that perhaps Kai had called for "reinforces" “... this are my cousin Aoi and his best friend Reita, you can tell looking at Reita I am sure, my cousin is a different story … but they are seniors this year” he added, at which both Saga and Hiroto nodded in sign of apprehension.
“Dude this is good ...” finally declared Aoi, his face oddly contorted in pleasure, as Akira resignedly shook his head, which took every bit of self-restrain for Yutaka to not giggle at such sight; Akira was really so handsome “... the three of you should have just come and eat with us, in fact that's just how it is going to be, you all join us for lunch period from now on” firmly declared Aoi, with Akira nodding in agreement.
“You see … next time is the cafeteria Pon ...” friendly pointed out Saga, at which the blond, merely nodded. His head had bent even lower if possible once, since Yuu and Akira had walked into the room, but Yutaka did notice though, that Hiroto was slightly leaning more towards Saga. Most likely it was to avoid any contact with Aoi, but it was, perhaps, still a good sign.
“Anyways, me and Reita were thinking that you should come to my place and spend sometime after school, like in the good old days, so yeah, that's that. So we see you in front of the school” concluded Aoi “... nice meeting you guys, see ya” he then greeted the other two, and after giving his used chopsticks to Saga, he walked off. Akira almost apologetically smiled at Saga and Hiroto, but gave Yutaka a different kind of smile. A better one, which made the brunette's heart beat at a speed which he didn't think possible to conceive. Calmly smiling back, Yutaka then turned to face the other two, instead of watching the elder blond leave like he had wanted to.
Akira was a kind person by nature, that fact seemed to not have changed in the time he'd been away, so clearly there was nothing that Yutaka should have read in that different smile. It simply was the smile of someone, whom had some sort of familiarity with someone else that was surely all. But still, Yutaka couldn’t help wanting to think more about anything and everything that Akira did that regarded himself.
Reason why, he wasn't too sure it was a good idea for them to be alone together so soon, provided Aoi would have been there, but Yutaka normally tended to ignore his presence regardless, so yes, in the end it was like being alone with Akira. He knew he ought to have made up some sort of excuse, but he knew there wasn't a cell in him that wanted to. His body, his heart, his everything had been craving for this particular moment for more than four years now, and he was trying to convince himself that a little nibble, without indulging, wouldn't have been so bad, would it? He'd just have to remember to be careful, and keep controlled.
Just like when he had been at San Francis; keep calm, play it well, and hope in best.
CHAPTER 2 - The Itchy Feeling of Change
AN: I know many expected to see a gaudy looking Kai wearing dresses, and being the princess that he indeed does wish, and feels, like he is. But some of you whom know my writing style a little, might know that I try to keep things as “possible to happen” as possible, and by that I am not saying that there aren’t man going around with dresses, because, we all know there are. But, this Yutaka is a character with a determined type of experience, brought up in a not so friendly environment, and right now, even though he would probably not fully admit it, he is scared shitless of the possibility of being sent back to San Francis (we'll find out chapter by chapter what happened in there of course …). As for Reita, he is your "typical" senior, whom is intimidate by the external world. He has his own issues of course, but his family environment is much friendlier, if not opposite compared to Kai's so he sees things in a much positive brighter light.
So what will happen when this two different auras begin to newly interact; will their "pure" past prevail, or will the "contaminated" present take over?
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-
Chaper: 1 - A Flutter in Hokkaido / ??
Author:luna_no_koibito
Genre: Human Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: some cursing (for this chapter)
Rating: PG-14 (for this chapter)
Pairing: Reita / Kai
Bands: The GazettE
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and don't wish I did because I'd be sorry for what could befall them （・＿・；）！
Summary: Be. Who you were meant to be, who they want you to be, or who you want to be. This is the story of two boys, eighteen year old Akira Suzuki and fifteen year old Yutaka Uke. This is the story of discovery, love, pain, and all the things that make life what it is; either it good or bad. This is the story of their search, fight, acceptance, hurt, growth, and their trial to understand exactly who and what they want to be in this world. This, is the story of the silent knight, and the hidden princess.
MAIN & LIST OF CHAPTERS
PROLOGUE - Spirits in The World
A Flutter in Hokkaido
April, 2011;
Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.
Sometimes, picture are worth a thousand words. It was an unquestionable fact, and Akira couldn't agree more. However, in his own case, that was all that pictures would ever be. His pictures, his drawings, were his words, and he was at a point in his young, but abundantly, lived life in which he was perfectly fine with them being so. He was born mute, and there was nothing that could be done about it. Never would he have heard his voice, never would he have had the possibility of acquiring one. Were he to have been able to speak, Akira now knew deep down inside that he wouldn't have been a great talker anyways. Thus it wasn’t altogether a great loss, was it now? Not to say that he never wished to have been able to talk, being mute wasn't anything to brag about, but, he could have been born mute and deaf, so he did have blessings to count, knowing how rare it was to be born only mute, and being naturally more optimist than not.
“I will be late tonight as well ...” shouted his mother as she rushed behind him, who was calmly walking towards the front door, while nonchalantly wearing his dark gray winter coat “... I wonder when will this end, I almost can't remember the last time we had a dinner together ...” she then sadly sighed, while stopping in front of her son, just to casually fix his black woolen hat, and black scarf, which she absolutely needed not to and Akira's grave what the hell are you doing mom? look said it all “What? … am I now not allowed to make sure that my handsome eighteen year old son looks as handsome as he is?” she endearingly grinned, and kissed his forehead, as Akira meekly rolled his eyes “... you know, you should really consider wearing contacts, you would look smoking hot!” she then smugly professed, which earned her a rather disgusted and disbelieving expression from the blond, whom instantly turned to quickly open the front door, as she giggled in the usual cutesy way she always had “Hey!” she then yelled, making him stop at the threshold, and look back “... love you, be safe” she tenderly wished. He smiled, took a step back, hugged her, and left.
Love you, be safe, his mother always had this particular expression when she professed those four words. There was love indeed, but there was also worry, hope, pride as well, and so much more. He'd tried once to paint that moment, relying on his memory the best he could, but every time he looked at the drawing, it always felt like there was an emotion missing. He used to find that quite frustrating, but not demoralizing, the fact that he didn't seem to be able to capture the entire essence of his mother's "Love you, be safe" wasn't such a discouraging fact after all, considering how, ironically so, even words themselves didn't seem to be able to completely convey said range of emotions. However, eventually he'd succeed in drawing her, possibly before, and if, he would have made his decision to leave.
It was a bit too early to be out and about, earlier than any other high school student, who lived in Hokkaido, would dream to be up and dandy during a winter morning. School would have started in an hour or so, but that was just the right time to be out according to him. During that time of the day, the sky had particularly delicate and warm colors, which he thought would have soothed his new subject. Today was the first day of his last year in high school, and he wanted to depict that range of emotions. Thus he sneaked himself into the school, through a still unbelievably unnoticed sort-of-entrance in the back of the baseball field, and some minutes later he was in front of their school building, from which he kept on walking, finally placing himself right under their stigma big oak tree. Then, facing the not so distant main entrance gates, he uncovered his mini-canvas, brought his pencil out, and began to draw.
Following regular logic, given that his intention was to represent an emotion involving the school, he should have been facing it, and not backing it. Yet, he chose the closed school gate as his main subject, with whatever was behind it instead, because it perfectly conveyed his present feelings. Reluctance, that's what he felt, and that gate was presently the only thing separating him from the outside world, which he would be soon forced to face. Within the gate, he was being protected from that prospect, and soon it would have been populated by students, his close friends, teachers and staff, all very endearing factors to him.
Basically, he didn't really want to graduate, or rather, he wanted to ... but not really? Though in his case, it wasn't like he had no idea what to do once out, in fact, he was well set to have a flourishing career, if he didn't screw up.
He had been given two scholarships to study architecture, one in Tokyo, and one in Florence, Italy. Needless to say, he obviously was ninety-percent inclined to choose Italy. However, the idea of having to leave such a comfortable place, to face the seemingly colder and knowingly brooder world that awaited him outside those gates, was quite intimidating. It was a rather childish and selfish thought, he knew, but he couldn't help it, and he wouldn't either. Soon or later, he'd have to move on, everything moved on. All he could do about it at the moment, was draw. Thus, he kept drawing.
“Don't tell me you lost the sense of touch! ...” exclaimed a familiar voice in mock surprise. Turning around, Akira then looked up to quickly glance at his best friend Yuu, also known as Aoi, standing with his hands deep in the pockets of his black later bomber jacket “... I mean, who the fuck sits on snow, don't you feel wet or something? It will look like you peed on yourself when you get up you know? ...” snickered Aoi, as he leaned on the oak tree, staring at the canvas.
The brunette had a point. His coat was thick enough though, so he didn’t feel the wetness, but its color and material would have made it so it did seem like he had peed on himself, given how long he'd been sitting there. Had he cared any, he probably would have ran home, but he didn't. Akira had never been the type to want to impress anybody, teachers could care less, his other friends would have simply made fun of him, and he wasn't up to hit on any girl anytime soon, even though many of them seemed particularly interested in him to his truest bemusement.
His real concern, at the moment, was how did time always seemed to pass so quickly, the fact that the taller brunette had arrived, meant that at least an hour had passed. And as if he had just been awaken into his present reality, he blinked out of his drawing frenzy, and suddenly noticed that students and other people had already filled the vast courtyard. He then hopelessly sighed, while shaking his head, at the sight of the opened gate that was still quite close on his canvas, which also had not a living soul in it, compared to the spirited environment he was being surrounded with.
A new academic year was finally on its way to start, everything was going back to what the summer had momentarily frozen, freshmen were shyly looking around, sophomores were acting cocky, and some seniors were already absent. Nothing out of the ordinary, he thought smiling, as other people in his usual crew, namely Ruki, Omi, Olivia, Kazuki, and others, joined him and Aoi, some merely shivering a hi, others affectionately hugging him. How was he supposed to happily move on from all of this?
Then again, there was something else.
A very nagging sensation that he hadn't been able to quite grasp, as to why he was dreading his moving on into adulthood. Something was missing. That much he knew, but what, he just couldn't tell, and god he wished he knew. This particular feeling, was the reason of his recent overactive drawing, he was hoping to find an answer in them, given as to how often his drawings seemed to clearly show truths about himself through his subconscious, in the same way dreams did. However, so far, he'd been rather unsuccessful, and as he kept drawing, the feeling kept lingering, strong.
“Ah!” suddenly exclaimed Aoi, frantically waving towards the gate “Kai! Over here!” he then yelled as he kept waiving, making everyone in the group, Akira included, shift their attention towards the gate and watch as a brunette boy calmly walked towards them. The name sounded familiar, incredibly so at that, Akira pondered, actually, there was only one Kai that he'd ever really known, but the person he knew had moved away long ago, so it couldn't be, could it?
“Wait ...” spoke Ruki, whom was momentarily having the time of his life repeatedly kneeing Akira in his back “... is that Kai, like, your little cousin Kai? ...” added the shorter blond in disbelieve, as Akira kept staring at the approaching brunette, still not quite sure it was whom, he thought it could be, which was whom Ruki was talking about. Aoi's cute little cousin; that's how he remembered Kai.
“Your little and puny, quite effeminate, cousin Kai? ...” lightly snickered Omi, receiving a chiding smack on her breast by Aoi “... what the fuck you pervert! That hurt!” she quickly rebuked.
“Well ...” lowly began Olivia, whose head was customarily leaning on her twin brother Kazuki's shoulder “... he looks nothing close to effeminate to me. On the contrary, he is actually a quite attractive young man I'd say ...” she softly spoke, in her habitual expressionless features. Olivia's incredibly white skin was as spotless as always, her face surrounded by her neatly combed long black hair, and well trimmed even bangs. The student body had proclaimed Olivia to be the pretties girl in school, but in all honesty, Akira had always thought she looked too similar to one of those hinamatsuri dolls, dare say even somewhat Sadakoish, and that, had always crept him out. Just a little. But the whole male student body seemed to be just fine with it, so who was he to judge.
“Ossu” quickly greeted Kai, slightly nodding at Aoi, they politely bowing at everyone else, once he finally joined the group. Everyone replied with a quick good morning, or a quick nod of their head, as Aoi walked towards him, and excitedly held him by the shoulder.
“Some of you may remember him already, but for those who don't know him, this is my cousin Yutaka ...” began the brunette, as Akira mechanically packed his things, not once lifting his gaze from the newly-arrived brunette. Getting to his feet, he then casually back-tracked himself between Ruki and Omi, still staring at the cool-looking boy in front of him, whom if not mistaken, Aoi had just confirmed used to be his little shy cute cousin. He looked, and felt, so different.
“But you can call me Kai” quickly added the shorter brunette, lightly smiling at everyone, in a very charming way, which felt incredibly out of character to Akira. If he correctly recollected, the Kai he knew would have blasted a fairly wide smile, and blushed all over, in a dainty little voice; it had been almost as if he hadn't realize that he was a boy at all. The Kai, whom was presently standing in front of him instead, had absolutely nothing to do with the kid he last saw at least four years ago, and Akira didn’t know why, but the fact seemed to make him somewhat wistful.
“The last time some of you guys saw him was probably … four years ago?” tentatively declared the brunette, receiving a quick nod by the younger “... she left to go to America back then, but now he is back in good old, and cold, Sapporo, and today is his first day as a freshman here so let's treat him well!” explained Aoi, strongly patting his cousin's back, as Akira suddenly and quite randomly wondered if Kai would remember him.
“Yoroshiku ...” coolly stated Kai, with a semi-nod, lightly scratching the back of his head. The new Kai seemed so at ease in his boyish ways though, there was no sign of pretending or insecurity, or any of the sort; old Kai was completely gone. And now, wasn't there something particularly wrong in being slighted to the fact that a boy was acting like a boy? That was something alright.
“Well haven't we become as smug as this fellow over here? are you sure you two aren't siblings, rather than cousins?” observed Omi, whom stepped forward to playfully scatter the top of Kai's hair, while wickedly glaring at Aoi, as Kai merely smirked, effortlessly trying to swat her hand away.
“Kai is like a little brother to me, so no surprise, and I am not smug!” retorted Aoi, lifting his hand as if wanting to smack her again, which made Omi lift her clenched hands, in an aggressive defensive pose. Looking at the way the two handled each other, it wasl hard to believe that Aoi and Omi were boyfriend and girlfriend. It was quite the peculiar display of affection they had, but as Aoi had put it, he had finally decided on Omi, whom was absolutely the opposite of what the brunette looked for in a girl because the sex was stellar. But Akira knew Aoi way better than that. He loved him like a brother, but the brunette was a great shit-talker, and wouldn't admit to the fact that he's liked the girl since they had been in kindergarten. “... so lets all treat him well!” warned Aoi, quickly squinting his eyes at everyone “... look? Aren't you lucky? You get to have connections with the coolest seniors at school, you should be grateful to me!” exclaimed Aoi, now being the one to roughly mess with Kai's head, keeping him in a headlock.
“Hai! Hai! I am, I am!” pointedly shouted Kai, this time forcefully, but in a playful manner, trying to free himself from Aoi's grip, forgetting all the cautiousness he had applied with Omi.
“Didn't miss this sound alright ...” composedly stated Kazuki, as he calmly began to withdraw towards the school, with his twin sister tightly holding his arm, and as always, following in extremely-close toe, which fostered all sort of looks and giggles from girls whom just seemed to live to spot incest anywhere they could.
All the same, ever since Akira had known Kazuki, the incredibly tall chestnut hair colored, now senior, had been constantly reassuring people that nothing of the sort was going on between him and his twin sister, and Akira believed him. Olivia wasn't one to talk much with people she wasn't interested in, somewhat condescending if you will, but Kazuki was one of those type of guys, whom even though seemed to share the same condescending expression of his sister, also naturally and strangely emanated trust.
Kazuki may not have been his number one buddy, but Akira knew for a fact that he could trust him hundred percents, something he couldn't quite say for Aoi, for example, even though he was his best friend, Aoi was simply very frivolous at times, and would act too much on impulse doing shit, for instance, that a five year old would know wise not to do. But that was just the way Aoi was, and he'd really wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. Then there were folks such as Ruki, whom in terms of friendship probably sat comfortably between Aoi and Kazuki, and whom with all the love in this world; he completely couldn't trust.
“Man, I can't believe this is our last year .. and then, the real world ...” sighed Ruki, as he walked side by side with Akira, whom lightly inhaled and exhaled; his usual way of expressing frustration “... I still have to decided what I want to do, and I really don't think I should be expected to know at the mere age of eighteen … seriously ...” he professed, as they kept walking towards their classes “but what about you, have you decided? Will it be pointless Tokyo, or chance-of-a-life-time Italy? ...” he then inquired, at which Akira merely shrugged, and Ruki sent him a rather skeptical uh-uh look “If you fucking choose Tokyo, I'll fucking kill you …” he then nonchalantly stated. Akira simply gave him a brush-off nod in reply, as Ruki shook is head, while rolling his eyes in an over-exasperated manner, as he entered their class.
“Okay then, see you at lunch, be good ...” excitedly instructed Aoi teasingly imitating an overbearing mother, as he left Kai by the entrance of his class, and walked over to join Akira, whom had remained waiting for him at the threshold of their own class. Kai was still standing there, as Aoi left, and as Akira kept his stance, finding himself looking past Aoi, straight at Kai, the younger brunette smiled at him, almost in that shy way he had known him to, after which he quickly disappeared into his class looking rather troubled. Akira simply stood there, absently staring at the now empty corridor, wondering how come had his heart so weirdly fluttered for a second there “Yo Reita, alright there? ...” inquired Aoi with a smirk calling him with his nickname, as Akira nodded, and joined him into their class.
***
American boy.
Yutaka just had to wondered how it was that bullshit always traveled so quickly. American boy. Whisper after whisper that was all that the brunette could pick out of the excited murmuring voices of the students ogling as him and Aoi made their way through the corridor towards his first class. American boy. And now what exactly made him so? He looked Japanese, he spoke Japanese like a Japanese, ate, dressed, walked, pissed like a Japanese, because, he was born and raised in Japan. Yet, four years spent out of the country were enough to erase all of that. It didn't matter for shits, now, he was the American boy. But seriously, how the fuck did they even get to know about him so quickly? First period hadn't even started for crying out loud.
All the same, he supposed it was in some respect better than begin called sissy boy, fairy … princess. Not like he cared, he never had. He was what he was, and he had been called a princess, because he acted like one, liked acting like one, and would have had no problem with being one. However, the "superior beings" that then, and still now, had control over his life, thought about it differently. Extremely differently. It disgraced his father to have a son, who was thought of as a girl, for he already had a daughter, and needed not another. It disgusted his mother to have a son, whom seemed to share her same passion with make-up, but she was perfectly fine with having him pretend that to be what he wasn't.
Yet it all seemed to be fine and dandy, until the day in which the "superior female being", also known as mother, decided it opportune to read through her son's well hidden and kept diary, and once her eyes fell on the sentence I think he is cute, always thought him to be anyways; hell broke loose. Both his parents, however, had refused to confront him about it, it was as if by not talking about it, there was in fact no issue at all. In fact, that sentence seemed to have simply been the infamous drop that spilled the glass, and it was only because he had desperately brought himself to eavesdrop on his parents conversation, the night before he was being sent to Ameirca, that Yutaka had found out why he was being sent to America. None of his tears had obviously done any good, the begging fell on nonexistent ears, and just like that, he was gone.
Gone to a different country, a different world, a different everything, it could have been Mars he wouldn't have noticed. A military school, specifically geared towards enhancing male traits. Fun; depressingly so. And how to forget the initial language barrier. Initial, because at San Francis military academy, you spoke English, period. He supposed the one thing he can say he gained from that shit-hole was that he could understand English, and speak it more or less. But fuck, if ever were to find himself at its presence again, he swore to God, he'd born it down to ashes. Nonetheless, thanks to his unwavering endurance, which he took after his caring father, and his excellent ways of bullshitting, which he took after his dear mother, he survived San Francis, and just three days ago, he had been of return to Japan, after four long years.
So much had changed. Obviously.
To begin with, his family had changed house, and now, him and his twin sister Yurika did not have to share a room anymore. Her room was right next to his, which, on the day he had first arrived had in it only a bed, a desk, and a wall wardrobe. His mother reassured him that they would have gone shopping for it on the following day, given that they had no idea what he would have wanted in it.
However, as he stood on the threshold of that empty room, and merely stared and such vast emptiness, deep down inside he felt like he was being tested. His parents wanted to be assured that he truly had changed, that if given the chance to, for example, decorate his room, he'd do it accordingly, which meant no pink and hidden female porn he presumed. Was he being too distrustful and judgmental of his parents? No, not really. Yutaka had no parents. The day they so blatantly decided that he wasn't good the way he was, he simultaneously decided the same about them.
The brunette might however still have had a "family member" in Yurika. At the military they hadn't been allowed of any form of electronic or air communication, he hadn't had much of a chance of speaking with her, except for the few monitored phone calls, or the one Christmas they all had come to visit him, during his first year at San Francis. Thus, Yutaka didn't quite know if he could trust her in the same way he always had as they were kids. Though he wanted to, he really wanted to.
There had been no indication that he couldn't trust her thus far. When they met at the airport, she had almost smothered him with her embrace, as she happily cried, which he supposed was a good natural reaction. However, if Yutaka told her that he still liked pink just as much as he used in the past, that his passions hadn't changed, and that now he was hundred percent show of his homosexuality; would things change?
He wasn't apt to want to find, not just yet at least. In the same way he'd keep up with the good-looking, cool American boy act, because he very well knew the difference between being brave and being stupid. Trying to live his life the way he wanted it, as a fifteen year old, who by law still had to answer to his parents, didn't leave space for freedom of expression, not in his family at least, and he truly wasn't in any way psychologically ready to get back to anything even slightly similar to San Franics.
Thus, he'd keep playing along with their game.
He'd keep playing along, even though he had finally got the chance to at least even just see that one person, whose mere thought had kept him going for the past four years. The instant he saw him, the instant he saw Akira, it felt like he had never left at all. The surge of emotions which he had been so apt to feel every time he had been around him, all came rushing back in, as he wondered whether the now blond ever even thought about him in the past four years, which was quite unlikely. At least not in the way Yutaka thought about him.
His parents had made sure to perfectly cover the reasons to his journey, and or his whereabouts following his departure“He had always wanted to study in an English speaking country, so we just felt obliged to help him out in his dream, and what better place than in the United States. Moreover, we feel that if he starts at a younger age, the process will be easier. It will be hard for us as parents, very hard, but we are willing to go to every extent just to make our child happy” that had been the speech so proudly delivered during his good-bye party, at which only friends of his parents attended. Aoi and his family, being family, had also been present.
Following that, the fact that he couldn’t exactly communicate with the outside world, would have probably made it hard for anyone to keep thinking about someone, when having no greater reason other than “he used to stick around” to do so. And that indeed was all he used to do always tag along with him and Aoi, in order to just spend more time with the then as well brunette Akira. All he ever did was observed, like a jolly shadow rejoicing in the simple fact that they could breath the same air, and differently from any other boy around him, Akira didn't seem to be disgusted by it, same had gone for Aoi. Yet they did used to interact much more when they were still in elementary school, which was when the most defying moment in his life had probably happened.
It had really resulted quite hard for himself to simply keep calm and composed while in his presence, considering how he realized that he truly was so handsome, but then again, he had always thought him to be so. That little smile he had subconsciously let through before they both got into their classes, had been a terrible mistake, which he needed to never repeat. He truly needed to be careful, no matter how badly he wanted to be around Akira, he needed to be careful.
The way things were presently standing he was the American boy, cool and dandy, cousin of the other cool and dandy Japanese boy. He loved girls, and baseball, which he played, and would tryout for in the school's team. Nobody knew about what school he had come from. Aoi knew what his parents had told everybody on that day four years ago, which was that he had been in a school in California. Yurika knew the much she had seen when she had come to San Francis. Yutaka only, knew the truth beneath it all and for a while it would remain as such.
“Hey ...” suddenly called a someone standing in front of his desk by the end of his third period , as everyone in the class got ready to go for lunch, or rather, speculated on how, with whom, and where Yutaka was going to go to lunch.
“Yes? …” he calmly replied, glimpsing up at a shaggy-haired brunette, whom was holding an oversized bento box under his armpit. He looked rather mean, his shirt was completely out of his pants, and his free hand was deep into his pockets. Already? Annoyingly thought Yutaka, as he merely continued with his packing. Such a nuisance it would have been to start a fight on the first day of school.
“So …” began the brunette “... rumor has it that you had been invited at the white house for dinner, married one of his daughters in Vegas, and had your honeymoon in Miami ...” quite calmly listed the boy, as Yutaka merely got to his feet, looking, and feeling, completely unaffected by any of the shit, which just came out of the boy's mouth “... all at the same time ...” added the taller boy with a dramatic tone, slowly and cynically looking around at his classmates, whom began to act bashful and ignorant “... my name is Saga ...” then resumed the brunette, extending his hand towards Yutaka, whom glimpsed at it, and then back at the brunette “... I used to be the center of talk all the times, ever since I could remember, and although I must admit that it is nice to not be the one this time around, it still gets on my fucking nerves to see others go through the same shit ...” pointed out the shaggy-haired, putting particular loud emphasis on certain words “... so I think we should like "join forces"” he then concluded with a rather genuine smile, as Yutaka amusingly smirked, and shook his hand.
“Kai, nice to meet you ...” Yutaka added, as he shoved his placed his backpack under his desk.
“Do you have you own lunch? Or are we all waiting for an air force one to bring it in for you ...” Saga loudly and meanly inquired, while menacingly turning to look at all the other students once again, whom then quite promptly got out of the class “... I'm telling you, there is nothing as bad as gossip like in this country ...” frustratingly declared the taller brunette.
“I was going to meet with my cousin in the cafeteria, you are welcome to join if you want, he's cool if you are a friend of mine he wouldn't mind ...” informed Kai, which Saga promptly accepted with a single nod “... as for gossip, it is the same where you go, just the wording, and the language changes ...” plainly replied Yutaka “it is "Americajin" here in Japan, and "Japanese boy" in America, same shit” he explained as they began to walk, but suddenly stopped as something at the very back of the room caught his attention.
A blond haired boy was staring at his bento box, and noticing that he was being watched attempted as much as to uneasily glimpse at the two of them, while bending his head even lower. There had always been something about people, whom were clearly being isolated or just had no choice but to be alone that irked Yutaka. He saw himself in them, and it pained him to have to witness someone else go through the same shit, in the same way perhaps Saga had felt with him.
“Hey ...” Yutaka then called, as the blond snapped his head up, with a quite alarmed looked on his face, as if he expected to get mugged any time soon. Gazing at the terrified expression on the boy's face, he wondered if that had been the way he also had looked the time he was being bullied in elementary school “... you should come and eat with us, I can't yet vouch for Saga here, but I am sort of cool, and you seem like you could use some good company ...” he tried to propose.
“Oi! ...” retorted Saga in playful offense “... I am probably cooler that he is, so if you join it should be because of me, not because of American boy here” harmlessly teased the shaggy-haired. Yet, the blond remained silent, the same look of fear and suspicion still clearly painted on his face. Yutaka wanted nothing more at the moment but to wipe that fucking expression out. Nobody should have to feel that way. Ever.
“I know what it feels to be bullied ...” Yutaka then randomly spoke. He didn’t know whether he was going anywhere with what he was about to say, but he didn't know what else to, and he really didn’t want to leave this boy sitting there and become the next sure subject to what could be vicious bullying “... and what I say may mean shit to you, because you don't know me, and I and Saga surely look rather cool and intimidating … but I swear to whatever fucking god that I do not want to hurt you … once again … can't quite vouch for Saga, but I'll kill him if he does” he sternly and sincerely declared, and this time the shaggy brunette kept his silence, most likely understanding what was going on “... however, if you decide to stay here, I can guarantee you that sooner or later you will be subject to being bullied, and in all honesty, I do not want to have that happening around me, so … please join us, even just to have us a cover” he then pressed.
The boy still silently sat at his desk, his expression now lost into space, most likely contemplating his options, and most certainly still not trusting one single word of what Yutaka had said. It wasn't easy to trust when any moving thing could be a menace, and Yutaka knew that very well.
“How about this ...” then intervened Saga “... we have lunch with you here, I have too much food for me anyways so if American boy here doesn't mind, he can share with me, and let me tell you, this is the best quality food in whole fucking Japan, no burgers and fries shit ...” joked the the shaggy-haired looking serious in face, as he dragged a desk, pushed it against the blond's, placed his bent on it, then grabbed a chair, took it over, and nonchalantly sat on it.
“What are you, some rich brat or something? …” smugly inquired Yutaka, as he also grabbed a chair and sat right next to Saga, observing as he opened his highly refined bento-box, which in Yutaka's opinion had an unnecessary large amount of food and compartments, and three sets of chopsticks neatly placed on the side “... this looks like it could have come out of that drama … what was the name ...” amusingly began Yutaka, as he divertingly began to laugh, while trying to remember the name of said drama, which he had watched way before leaving the country.
“Yeah yeah ... keep laughing American boy ...” expressed Saga in pretense offense, as he handed a pair of chopstick to Yutaka, whom accepted them while still laughing “... and if you must to know, yes, my family is in fact as rich as it gets, reason why I am usually the center of gossip and shit, you know, shit like "he acts so fucking badass breaking all the rules" or "his looking for attention so desperately" and things of the sort ...” shrugged the boy, as he began to chew on some shrimp tempura “... and this I will say, I have never started a fight, it was fights that always started with-” tried to explain the taller brunette, when he was suddenly interrupted by a low and wavering sounding voice coming from the blond boy.
“H-hana yori dango ...” softly spoke the boy, glimpsing at both boys, whom had instantly turned silent. The boy still kept his head lowered, and made that sort of now they are going to hit me expression. Yutaka kindly smiled, teasingly raising his clenched fist, he then hit it on his other hand, making the blond jolt a little. Not exactly the smartest of moves, he quickly realized.
“Exactly! It was Hana yori Dango! That's what it was ...” affirmed Yutaka, as Saga extended his third pair of chopstick to the blond boy as well “... but yours, if possible, is even bigger”.
“O mine is bigger alright ...” coolly professed Saga, while holding his crotch, with his free hand, and still waiting for the blond to accept the extended chopstick “... I know you have food, but this is really a lot, and you should try it and- oh, right, you do have chopstick, because you do have a bento ...my bad” he then quickly excused, scratching the back of his head, Yutaka serenely smirked.
“A-actually ...” arduously began the blond “... I forgot mine … it seems” admitted the blond, his expression, looked like the one of someone, whom had just knocked down a brick wall with his shoulder.
“Oh then here! Wasn't as stupid in the end ...man thank you for making me look cool after all” smiled Saga, as the blond accepted the chopsticks, with a deep bow “... no need for deep bowing, just enjoy your food, and I think I like the three of us together. Yes. How about we exchange cell phone numbers? And just in case you hadn't got this yet I am Saga, he is Kai and you are?” confidently spoke the shaggy-haired, the cellphone talk, instantly reminding Yutaka about his promise to lunch with Aoi.
Yo, something came up so I won't be coming for lunch. But I am fine, just in my third period class, having lunch. Bye he quickly texted Aoi, after which he exchanged numbers with Saga, and waited for the other boy, whom name still they didn't know, to reply.
“Hiroto … my name is Hiroto …” lowly stated the blond.
“Do you have a cell phone Hiroto? ...” inquired Saga, and the blond boy nodded, cautiously bringing it out with another of those expression, this time it was the now they will hit me and take my brand new cellphone one “... well then here is my number, and we should give you a nick name … since we all have one, my real name is Takashi, if you didn't know” quickly explained Saga.
“Mine is Yutaka ..” as promptly added Kai, at which the blond merely nodded.
“How about Pon? Somehow, I feel like it really fits you … what do you say Kai?” Saga inquired nudging his chin at the shorter brunette, whom satisfyingly nodded and grinned in agreement “... well then Pon it is, if it is okay with you Hiroto” affirmed the shaggy-haired, and Hiroto quickly nodded in agreement. Alas, Yutaka suspected that the blond would have nodded even if Saga would have told him that his new name was "cock-sucker" “Are you sure cause we can change it if you want ...” suspiciously inquired Saga, but the blond silently shook his head “... okay …” resignedly agreed the taller.
“What the fuck Kai!” suddenly bellowed what sounded like a Aoi's voice, and which, as Yutaka turned around in his sit to face the entrance, it indeed was. His cousin was standing at the class threshold peeved looking, and began stomp his way into the class, followed by none other than Akira “... dude, you got me worried, what kind of half-assed-fucked-up-cryptic text was that? I had to ask to all the cute freshmen girls about your third period class to find you, and Omi almost grew a dick and gave me a second ass-hole!” complained the lip pierced brunette. In all his habitual finesse.
Trying his best to keep his gaze solely on Aoi, Kai raised a skeptical eye-brow at his cousin and calmly replied “... Aoi, I'm fifteen, I don't need you to baby-sit me. I said I was fine, and that I was having lunch, how cryptic is that?” pointed out the brunette, as Akira mirthfully huffed “Sorry to have made you worry though … but really Aoi … I'll be just fine, trust” stressed out the shorter brunette, as his eye subconsciously fell on Akira and stuck there. The blond nodded in a sign of a salute, which Kai replied with a nod of his, while calmly, in the best of his abilities, replacing his gaze on a more relaxed looking Aoi. Was is it just Yutaka, or was it suddenly getting substantially harder to breath.
“Okay well … sorry for worrying so much about you … ” cynically expressed Aoi “some people like to pick unnecessary fights in this school, so I was just trying to make sure ...” vaguely pointed out the brunette as he eyed the rather sumptuous bento on the table “... oh shit, you've been having the fucking royal treatment here, what's this?” exclaimed the brunette, getting closer to Saga's bento “... Akira come see this shit, it looks fucking delicious, dude” incited the brunette, as Reita calmly walked himself towards the table, standing right between Aoi, and Kai, whom was still seated “Yo … can we try some? ...” shamelessly inquired Aoi.
“This is Saga by the way ...” introduced, Kai speechlessly staring at his cousin's lack of any self-control whatsoever. The shaggy-haired willfully nodded, and extended a hand in permission to the elder, while Kai handed over his chopsticks, trying his best to avoid contact with Akira in the process. The blond's abdomen was practically on his face, and the desire to stare at it was so fierce, he almost trembled in handing his chopsticks to the elder. Not like anything could be seen through a uniform shirt, but Yutaka had his imagination to fill for that. Just like in the past four years “... and he is Hiroto ...” continued Yutaka, genuinely smiling at the gaze averting, head lowered, blond, whom said nothing in reply. He was probably frozen in fear by now, thinking that perhaps Kai had called for "reinforces" “... this are my cousin Aoi and his best friend Reita, you can tell looking at Reita I am sure, my cousin is a different story … but they are seniors this year” he added, at which both Saga and Hiroto nodded in sign of apprehension.
“Dude this is good ...” finally declared Aoi, his face oddly contorted in pleasure, as Akira resignedly shook his head, which took every bit of self-restrain for Yutaka to not giggle at such sight; Akira was really so handsome “... the three of you should have just come and eat with us, in fact that's just how it is going to be, you all join us for lunch period from now on” firmly declared Aoi, with Akira nodding in agreement.
“You see … next time is the cafeteria Pon ...” friendly pointed out Saga, at which the blond, merely nodded. His head had bent even lower if possible once, since Yuu and Akira had walked into the room, but Yutaka did notice though, that Hiroto was slightly leaning more towards Saga. Most likely it was to avoid any contact with Aoi, but it was, perhaps, still a good sign.
“Anyways, me and Reita were thinking that you should come to my place and spend sometime after school, like in the good old days, so yeah, that's that. So we see you in front of the school” concluded Aoi “... nice meeting you guys, see ya” he then greeted the other two, and after giving his used chopsticks to Saga, he walked off. Akira almost apologetically smiled at Saga and Hiroto, but gave Yutaka a different kind of smile. A better one, which made the brunette's heart beat at a speed which he didn't think possible to conceive. Calmly smiling back, Yutaka then turned to face the other two, instead of watching the elder blond leave like he had wanted to.
Akira was a kind person by nature, that fact seemed to not have changed in the time he'd been away, so clearly there was nothing that Yutaka should have read in that different smile. It simply was the smile of someone, whom had some sort of familiarity with someone else that was surely all. But still, Yutaka couldn’t help wanting to think more about anything and everything that Akira did that regarded himself.
Reason why, he wasn't too sure it was a good idea for them to be alone together so soon, provided Aoi would have been there, but Yutaka normally tended to ignore his presence regardless, so yes, in the end it was like being alone with Akira. He knew he ought to have made up some sort of excuse, but he knew there wasn't a cell in him that wanted to. His body, his heart, his everything had been craving for this particular moment for more than four years now, and he was trying to convince himself that a little nibble, without indulging, wouldn't have been so bad, would it? He'd just have to remember to be careful, and keep controlled.
Just like when he had been at San Francis; keep calm, play it well, and hope in best.
CHAPTER 2 - The Itchy Feeling of Change
AN: I know many expected to see a gaudy looking Kai wearing dresses, and being the princess that he indeed does wish, and feels, like he is. But some of you whom know my writing style a little, might know that I try to keep things as “possible to happen” as possible, and by that I am not saying that there aren’t man going around with dresses, because, we all know there are. But, this Yutaka is a character with a determined type of experience, brought up in a not so friendly environment, and right now, even though he would probably not fully admit it, he is scared shitless of the possibility of being sent back to San Francis (we'll find out chapter by chapter what happened in there of course …). As for Reita, he is your "typical" senior, whom is intimidate by the external world. He has his own issues of course, but his family environment is much friendlier, if not opposite compared to Kai's so he sees things in a much positive brighter light.
So what will happen when this two different auras begin to newly interact; will their "pure" past prevail, or will the "contaminated" present take over?
Much Love -LnK♥(~_^ )/-