Dedicated to Sarah Jaffe(but mostly posted so I can pull it from somewhere at school in the morn)
"Mastering Messiness"
A personal introductory note:
I am not one who would consider herself an expert by any means, conventionally, in a particular field. The talents I may show, the abilities I may excel at have yet to be cared for, studied and proven in the way that would consider it a mastered skill. It took a long, hard time to think about what I can be recognized best for. I wanted for it to be something that I could discuss on a personal level with the correct knowledge and authority on the subject, without coming off as haughty, especially since I am still learning, still managing, and always, always looking toward those I do consider "experts", "masters", and pleading for their guidance.
So what was there to discuss? I decided that I would only be satisfied and feel honest if I were to explain the workings and technicalities of a trait that really encompassed the general workings of myself. If I could write about being simply me, in a general sense, then I would be golden. How can you not be a better expert at anything other than being yourself? I thought about what I was proud of; I’m pretty fantastic at being affectionate- except for when I am clumsy and I stumble, hurting the person I mean to care for. I’m very creative, but that’s out of the question: I’m so indecisive over how to go about expressing my visions that I try every way, most of the time projects are left half done, half ruined, or I simply give up because I cannot manage to keep anything neat, disorder and carelessness take reign over my actions.
Well, there’s a thought! I take a quick look at myself in the mirror and try to smooth at my hair, which is sticking out in every which way. My clothes are covered in paint spatters, juice stains, and are half sliding from their rightful places upon my body(every single layer). I am unwashed, there is graphite smears across the side of my left hand from writing, my cuticle are unnatural colors of saturated grey and pink, green and white. I am slumped over and surrounded by piles of papers, half worked on, half graded, half blank. I think on all the sorts of conversations(many of which have been recent, but there are thousands of others I could try to touch on from earlier dates) I have about how disorganized I am, how spastic and clumsy and ridiculous I can be, how I am simply the messiest person he or she speaking has encountered, and Yet, I still survive, I manage, and I am endeared(or at least, would like to think so) because of these characteristics. How, I’ve been asked, is this possible? My response is that I’ve just been raised around chaos and clutter, I’ve developed and grown with my combined personality traits that make it simply and utterly unavoidable to be disheveled. I’ve learned tricks from those whom are like me in some of my ways, but I’ve still yet to meet another with the same precision(or more appropriately, lack thereof!) Frankly, I’m proud to think that I have honed this haphazardness and slattern behavior to a science. I can explain everything behind it, I am an expert!
How does one master at being slovenly? It is a matter of adaptation. Taking clumsiness and preventing it from evolving into utter gawkiness, learning the times in which it is alright to leave a completed task in a slipshod state or whether it is necessary to improve upon. The way to expert at untidiness is to perform and live in an unsystematic way, without fear of appearance, yet still managing to have things works out successfully, regardless.
First, to discuss the simple nature of the discomposed. Undexterous, unmethodical, people with awful handwriting, bedrooms carpeted in papers, worn and unworn clothing which, even when worn, refuse to sit correctly on the body for longer than a few moments. When I sought reference from Dr. Sarah Jaffe; PHD of Slopology at the Technical University for Ridiculousness and Dishevelment (TURD), she said, "...people with expertise in the art of mess cannot be made, only born. You need the innate ability to have the mind of a seven year old but the desire to know about grown-up things. You need a loud, messy brain and the habit of running around screaming with your arms waving overhead. The lack of coordination and the fondness for layers are externalizations of the thought process of a legitimate slob." When asked to elaborate on the mentioning of layers and their correlation to a ragamuffin, an explanation was the means of protection and security one gains with layers. For a true expert at disarray is a tactic creature, and strategically uses the first skirt or top as a sort of armor. Should salsa or gravy or soda spill horrendously across such a person, should the unobservant mistakenly collect pastel or paint along the body due to carelessness, he or she has no worry. Instead of panicking as one with more composure might, the slattern thing simply has to remove the piece, shove it furiously into his or her bag to hide, and continue with business. Another theory behind such behavior would back up another claim made about such a person’s "loud, messy brain". With such a cluttered head, the messy person tends to confuse(and thus, delude) his or herself into finding "visually confusing straps and necklines and such" as sexy, attractive. Dr. Jaffe went a step further to mention that the chaos that goes on within the inner workings of a messy person can be explained correctly not necessarily with adjectives, but rather with various forms of onomatopoeia and the flailing of arms.
The literal aspects of a sloppy person are obvious. A messy person does not own clothing free from stains or tears. He or she also has an utter lack of coordination which hinders one from grace, or from keeping physical appearance in tact. He or she tends to remain unobservant, to look over spills, garbage, or general splay and sprawl. Clutter is rarely seen in the same light as a more together person. The lines between "spotless" and "manageable" tend to blur. Conventional forms of organization hardly exist. Though one may try, and try, to keep things in a set order, disaster is the only way in which a slob may thrive. However, the important word in that previous sentence is "thrive"; not "sink", "slump", or "fail". The untidy expert is successful(how, it is still a mystery, even to us who have spent our lives encountering this strange phenomenon) in keeping tabs of important items and documents, or at least a general locale is put into place. Such a person is wonderful at handling disorder because in reality, the disorder is only seen as such by the conventional eye. The expert sloppy eye finds order in what one may politely call an "outside of the box" approach.
To say that one is proud to have a lack of order, that one is skilled at chaos, I understand, can be argued against, saying this is empowering major character flaws. However, how can a trait be a flaw if a person is not hindered greatly because of it? If it does not alienate one from another, or from oneself? Also, it can be argued that a person cannot be an expert at being uncoordinated, at having mind jumbled with nonsensical, half completed strands of thoughts. It’s illogical, it might seem. However, to look at it as such is how a conventional, orderly person sees the situation. I am looking at sloppiness, discomposure, and the management of it all from the perspective of the sloppy, the discomposed. That is what makes me an expert. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.
A personal introductory note:
I am not one who would consider herself an expert by any means, conventionally, in a particular field. The talents I may show, the abilities I may excel at have yet to be cared for, studied and proven in the way that would consider it a mastered skill. It took a long, hard time to think about what I can be recognized best for. I wanted for it to be something that I could discuss on a personal level with the correct knowledge and authority on the subject, without coming off as haughty, especially since I am still learning, still managing, and always, always looking toward those I do consider "experts", "masters", and pleading for their guidance.
So what was there to discuss? I decided that I would only be satisfied and feel honest if I were to explain the workings and technicalities of a trait that really encompassed the general workings of myself. If I could write about being simply me, in a general sense, then I would be golden. How can you not be a better expert at anything other than being yourself? I thought about what I was proud of; I’m pretty fantastic at being affectionate- except for when I am clumsy and I stumble, hurting the person I mean to care for. I’m very creative, but that’s out of the question: I’m so indecisive over how to go about expressing my visions that I try every way, most of the time projects are left half done, half ruined, or I simply give up because I cannot manage to keep anything neat, disorder and carelessness take reign over my actions.
Well, there’s a thought! I take a quick look at myself in the mirror and try to smooth at my hair, which is sticking out in every which way. My clothes are covered in paint spatters, juice stains, and are half sliding from their rightful places upon my body(every single layer). I am unwashed, there is graphite smears across the side of my left hand from writing, my cuticle are unnatural colors of saturated grey and pink, green and white. I am slumped over and surrounded by piles of papers, half worked on, half graded, half blank. I think on all the sorts of conversations(many of which have been recent, but there are thousands of others I could try to touch on from earlier dates) I have about how disorganized I am, how spastic and clumsy and ridiculous I can be, how I am simply the messiest person he or she speaking has encountered, and Yet, I still survive, I manage, and I am endeared(or at least, would like to think so) because of these characteristics. How, I’ve been asked, is this possible? My response is that I’ve just been raised around chaos and clutter, I’ve developed and grown with my combined personality traits that make it simply and utterly unavoidable to be disheveled. I’ve learned tricks from those whom are like me in some of my ways, but I’ve still yet to meet another with the same precision(or more appropriately, lack thereof!) Frankly, I’m proud to think that I have honed this haphazardness and slattern behavior to a science. I can explain everything behind it, I am an expert!
How does one master at being slovenly? It is a matter of adaptation. Taking clumsiness and preventing it from evolving into utter gawkiness, learning the times in which it is alright to leave a completed task in a slipshod state or whether it is necessary to improve upon. The way to expert at untidiness is to perform and live in an unsystematic way, without fear of appearance, yet still managing to have things works out successfully, regardless.
First, to discuss the simple nature of the discomposed. Undexterous, unmethodical, people with awful handwriting, bedrooms carpeted in papers, worn and unworn clothing which, even when worn, refuse to sit correctly on the body for longer than a few moments. When I sought reference from Dr. Sarah Jaffe; PHD of Slopology at the Technical University for Ridiculousness and Dishevelment (TURD), she said, "...people with expertise in the art of mess cannot be made, only born. You need the innate ability to have the mind of a seven year old but the desire to know about grown-up things. You need a loud, messy brain and the habit of running around screaming with your arms waving overhead. The lack of coordination and the fondness for layers are externalizations of the thought process of a legitimate slob." When asked to elaborate on the mentioning of layers and their correlation to a ragamuffin, an explanation was the means of protection and security one gains with layers. For a true expert at disarray is a tactic creature, and strategically uses the first skirt or top as a sort of armor. Should salsa or gravy or soda spill horrendously across such a person, should the unobservant mistakenly collect pastel or paint along the body due to carelessness, he or she has no worry. Instead of panicking as one with more composure might, the slattern thing simply has to remove the piece, shove it furiously into his or her bag to hide, and continue with business. Another theory behind such behavior would back up another claim made about such a person’s "loud, messy brain". With such a cluttered head, the messy person tends to confuse(and thus, delude) his or herself into finding "visually confusing straps and necklines and such" as sexy, attractive. Dr. Jaffe went a step further to mention that the chaos that goes on within the inner workings of a messy person can be explained correctly not necessarily with adjectives, but rather with various forms of onomatopoeia and the flailing of arms.
The literal aspects of a sloppy person are obvious. A messy person does not own clothing free from stains or tears. He or she also has an utter lack of coordination which hinders one from grace, or from keeping physical appearance in tact. He or she tends to remain unobservant, to look over spills, garbage, or general splay and sprawl. Clutter is rarely seen in the same light as a more together person. The lines between "spotless" and "manageable" tend to blur. Conventional forms of organization hardly exist. Though one may try, and try, to keep things in a set order, disaster is the only way in which a slob may thrive. However, the important word in that previous sentence is "thrive"; not "sink", "slump", or "fail". The untidy expert is successful(how, it is still a mystery, even to us who have spent our lives encountering this strange phenomenon) in keeping tabs of important items and documents, or at least a general locale is put into place. Such a person is wonderful at handling disorder because in reality, the disorder is only seen as such by the conventional eye. The expert sloppy eye finds order in what one may politely call an "outside of the box" approach.
To say that one is proud to have a lack of order, that one is skilled at chaos, I understand, can be argued against, saying this is empowering major character flaws. However, how can a trait be a flaw if a person is not hindered greatly because of it? If it does not alienate one from another, or from oneself? Also, it can be argued that a person cannot be an expert at being uncoordinated, at having mind jumbled with nonsensical, half completed strands of thoughts. It’s illogical, it might seem. However, to look at it as such is how a conventional, orderly person sees the situation. I am looking at sloppiness, discomposure, and the management of it all from the perspective of the sloppy, the discomposed. That is what makes me an expert. Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.