I'm sorry that you're having a hard time... if I could help, I would. I've been there, being the one who doesn't drink... at least, until I started drinking. But that's a different story entirely
( ... )
I understand where you're coming from...anidifrancofanSeptember 5 2005, 03:43:50 UTC
Hey - I'm not sure that I know you, but I'm pretty sure that you're a Hollins grrl. I graduated in '04 and hear a lot of where you're coming from. I entered recovery the year that I started Hollins (the same year that I turned 21). It was really hard for me to find a comfortable space where I could be around people who were drinking. Actually, I found out that one of my professors was in recovery (Lori) and spent a lot of time talking to her and stopping by people's houses when I needed an extra boost. If you ever want to talk, we can. I understand a lot of what you're dealing with. I'm now 4 1/2 years clean.
you are a better person than I...mixnmetalnwordzApril 14 2006, 19:59:39 UTC
because everyday I wish the people around me could look inside themselves and honestly answer me why it's cool to slowly poison their bodies. if i could cast a ballot and make alchol nonexistent and invalid, i would drop the lever in a second. but it wouldn't work because most poeple can't just deal with themselves unadulterated and enjoy it.
Re: you are a better person than I...lunamorganApril 15 2006, 06:30:23 UTC
I've personally seen too many people ruined by drugs or alcohol to justify poisoning myself with them. I respect people and their choices, adults have the right to make those kinds of decisions. I just know too much, you know? When you hit the point where you see past the party and you know the in 20 years, 25% of the people there will be fucked up and drinking themselves to death, or struggling through weekly AA meetings or dead.
I guess growing up going to open AA meetings and knowing the people there, who thought it was all so easy and normal and started out drinking socially like everyone else was a big influence. The death of my grandmother did something, and my alcoholic step-grandmother as well. My neighbor who drank constantly, and seeing how her family avoided her. It all adds up to too damned much, for me.
I used to dislike when people drank around me, or when they talked about getting wasted, but now I just want to be there for my friends, to cut them off or take them home or whatever.
coming to hollins had made me want to learn to drive so badly. i didn't used to because it seemed like too much of a personal extravagance/deliberate detriment to the environment. but i have to b/c at 99% of the parties i go to, i'm the only sober one. NOT COOL.
honestly, i hate it when people i care about drink. that's why at parties i never really talk to anyone more than 2 or 3 minutes. if i do, i usually start to forget why i liked them in the first place. but if i say any of this-- do you ever notice how some people defend their right to drink more fervently than their reproductive rights?
Re: i hear you.lunamorganApril 15 2006, 16:36:21 UTC
It's hard. Really. Because on the one hand, you don't want to see your bestfriends getting shitfaced, but on the other, you want them to be okay. So you stay and take care of them, and try not to be too preachy, but you're still going, "For fuck's sake, I'm having as much fun as any of you are, can't you see that?"
If we're at the same party, Faye and I will always be sober, so if you want to talk, we're still us. And yes. I do notice that. I have literally lost friends by asking if we could have a party without alcohol. Not if we could all quit drinking ever, but if on ONE night, no one drank. The night I tried to throw that party, my beer providing counter-part threw one as well. Which do you think was more well attended? Yeah.
If you ever want to chat about this personally, we can get together and discuss it. Take care, hon. (Side note, thanks for PearlGRRRLPoetry, it made me happy.)
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--tabbie
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I guess growing up going to open AA meetings and knowing the people there, who thought it was all so easy and normal and started out drinking socially like everyone else was a big influence. The death of my grandmother did something, and my alcoholic step-grandmother as well. My neighbor who drank constantly, and seeing how her family avoided her. It all adds up to too damned much, for me.
I used to dislike when people drank around me, or when they talked about getting wasted, but now I just want to be there for my friends, to cut them off or take them home or whatever.
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honestly, i hate it when people i care about drink. that's why at parties i never really talk to anyone more than 2 or 3 minutes. if i do, i usually start to forget why i liked them in the first place. but if i say any of this-- do you ever notice how some people defend their right to drink more fervently than their reproductive rights?
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If we're at the same party, Faye and I will always be sober, so if you want to talk, we're still us. And yes. I do notice that. I have literally lost friends by asking if we could have a party without alcohol. Not if we could all quit drinking ever, but if on ONE night, no one drank. The night I tried to throw that party, my beer providing counter-part threw one as well. Which do you think was more well attended? Yeah.
If you ever want to chat about this personally, we can get together and discuss it. Take care, hon. (Side note, thanks for PearlGRRRLPoetry, it made me happy.)
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