My Slave YAOI chapter 27
Sungmin's pov
Walking away quickly, I let my feet lead me to where they wanted to go, while my mind roamed on its on. I feel the hot tears pouring down my face, and I scrubbed at them angrily, thinking that Hankyung was no longer deserving of them. But they kept coming, blurring my vision. My thoughts turned to recent happinings, my pace slowed as I felt pain in my heart. Pain of lost love, all be it a one sided love. How am I going to forget Hankyung? How am I supposed to forget about someone that I'v loved for so long, have loved for years. I'm a fool to keep holding onto these damned hopes and dreams. Looking at the ground as I walked, I still remember the first time seeing him. I had been in the sixth grade when Hankyung entered my life. He was taller than most of the boys, therefor he stood out the most. He became popular fast, with his good looks and awsome personaility. He was laid back and kind to everyone. And we bacame fast friends. I had fallen in love with the tall chinese boy at first sight, as soon as I laid eyes on him. Of course, I was young, so I thought at the time it was a friendship kind of love, but as years passed, my feelings for him only developed and grew. Then in eighth grade, Jaejoong arrived, and he had Hankyung's full attention on him all the time. So that whenever we three went out to do things together, I always felt like the third wheel, always in the way. But my feelings for him never went away, even when he was close to ingoring me. It hurt to know that he would never return my love, to know that Jaejoong held his heart. Then they started this kissing thing, I knew it was so that Hankyung would have a reason to kiss Jae.
I could hear the other classmates talking about them, about what a good couple they make. Even in the eyes of others they where a couple, even if they denied it. We all knew that they had feelings for each other, they just never told one another about them. That had always confused me. Why did they never confess to one another? It was like one didn't know the other liked him and vise versa, it had been...strange. Now even today, I wonder about it. When the times came that Hankyung did pay me a little bit of attention, I soaked it up like an loved starved orphan.
Then one day, I heard Jae tell Hankyung that he was moving back to Korea. Jae had been crying, and clinging to Hankyung, but I was happy, mean right? To be happy that they where going to be parted. I couldn't help it, I was thinking that maybe now was my time. Jae had finally left and Hankyung was misreable without him. He came to me, but...the first couple of days all he could talk about was Jae, how much he missed Jae. I tried to be a good supportive friend, saying all the right things at the right times. Then one day he talked to me, about me. Asking me questions about me that he should already know the answers to. Like, are you straight or gay? I told him I was gay. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Well, why not? Your to cute to be single. Blushing, I had looked down at the time. My answer: The person I like doesn't know I'm alive, plus, he just lost someone close to him. He never knew I was talking about him. I have a journal that I write all my thoughts into. Even until this day. I write everything in it. All my feelings, good or bad. And expecially about Hankyung and Jaejoong. I would write all the stuff they would do together, with me just lagging behind them. I told my journal all about my jealousy, my hurt, my hopes and dreams. It is my only outlet for my thoughts. Right now I needed to go home and vent into it.
Deep in my thoughts I had lost track of time. Stopping, I look around me, seeing that I'm in a park. The sun had started to set, lowering over the tree tops. The sky already changing from blue to dusk. This park is beside my uncles home, about five minutes away. Shaking my head, I couldn't believe I had walked all this way. My home is about twenty minutes away from the school.I must have really been walking fast. The sun going down, told me that I had been walking at least for two hours. Now, I feel the tiredness creep upon me, my legs starting to feel heavy. I was physically and mentally tired. Today, had left me drained.
Walking to the front gate of the two story house, I stopped looking up at the upper rooms, all lights where out. I was wondering if he was in there. Of course he's in there, where else would he be at this time of day. Gathering up what little courage I had, I entered the house. Going upstairs, the carpet muffling my heavy footsteps, I walked to my bedroom door. Turning I looked at the door across the hall. Hankyung's room, I guess he's in there, probably laughing at what a helpless dork I am. Breathing a deep sign, I turned the knobb and enter my bedroom. Closing the door, I leaned against it"Just forget about him, Sungmin. Just forget about him." I muttered to myself. The only light in the room came from the window from the lowering sun. It gave off just enough light to see my bed. Tired, I walked over to it, and stipped down to my silken boxers. Sitting on the edge, I reached over and took my stuffed bunny in my arms, hugging it tightly. I let my tears flow again, my shoulders shaking from the forcefulness of them. I'm a silent cryer, so only my shoulders shaking would have told anyone somethings wrong with me. I don't know how long I sat there crying. I stood and made my way to the dresser. "Where have you been, Sungmin?" I gasped and whirled around. "Who's here! What are you doing in my room?!" I whispered out."Who do you think it is? It's me Hankyung." I walked over and turned on a desk lamp. Now I whish I hadn't. Hankyung was sitting in a chair with my journal in his lap."H..h..hankyung, why are you holding my journal?" I asked nervously. He looked at it, and held it up,"What this? This is a good piece of work. Have you ever read whats written in here?" I stood there speechless as Hankyung stood up, walking over to me while opening up my journal and began reading it outloud.
"Lets see here what does this say." Hankyung looked me in the eye, before turning back to the journal. 'Today, I watch as Hankyung and Jae walk down the school hall. They had thier arms aropund each other and Jae was laying his head on Hankyung shoulder. They have forgotten me once again. I don't think Hankyung will ever notice me, all he sees is that beautiful Jaejoong.' With that Hankyung snapped the book shut and threw it on my bed. Advancing towards me Hankyung smirked, as I backed up from him, my back coming up against the wall. "You know, I know people keep journals and diarys, but what i find intresting about yours, it that most of it is about me and Jae." He placed his hands on boths sides of my head and leaned in, his face inches from mine. "Little Sungminnie, is jealous of the beautiful Jaejoong, now isn't he. No, don't lie, it's written all in your book." I shook my head frantically, my tears falling again. "Please Hankyung, don't." Hankyung moved his head a little closer to mine," Don't what tell you just how pretty I think Jaejoong is. He is beautiful isn't he. All that fair skin and kissable lips." "Get out! Get out of my room!"I started struggling to get away from Hankyung and his words. My heart breaking more and more as he kept talking. Then his lips where on mine. I froze, My hands on his wrists. His lips soft and gentel as he kissed me. My eyes drifting close, I let myself submit to Hankyungs kiss, feeling his tounge slide into my mouth. My hands left his wrist and went around his neck, pushing myself closer to him. This is what I had always wanted, what I had always needed. Then I remembered, jerking my head from his, my hands on his chest now, I pushed him back."NO! GET OUT! YOU DON'T WANT ME! YOU WANT JAEJOONG! NOW GET OUT, AND DON'T TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I ran to the door and opened it. Hankyung walked to the door, looking at me sadly,"Your wrong, I don't want Jaejoong. I want you." Then he left my room. Closing the door, I walked over to the bed and sank down on it. Oh my god, what just happened?