My Slave YAOI chapter 28
Hankyung's pov
Standing in the hallway, in front of Sungmin's bedroom door, I tried to calm down my breathing. My heart is beating fast and my hands are sweaty. Rubbing my palms on my thighs to dry them, I reached out and knocked on his door. No answer. Trying the knobb, it opened easily. Stepping into the room, closing the door behind me, I scanned the room. No Sungmin. Where is he? He always comes straight home after school. His bed to one side, I walked over to it. I smiled. Pink, he has a pink comforter and pink pillows. Sungmin has liked pink for as long as I've known him. It was releaving to know that the Sungmin I know hasn't changed at all. Frowning, now where did that thought come from? Why was I feeling like I have never really talked to him before. Sitting on his bed, I took his stuffed bunny and held it to my chest. It smelled like Sungmin, all fresh and clean. Turning I laid down on his bed, still holding his bunny. I talk to Sungmin. We talk all the time. Thinking about it somemore. Well, I talk and Sungmin listens. Frowning more, I talked about Jae to him. No remembering clearly, I talked about Jae all the time. No...we talk about other things. I remember asking him questions one time. He had looked at me funny, like I should have known the answers. Yes, I should have known the answers, but, I didn't. It shamed me, not even knowing my own bestfriend like I thought I did. I was surprised at his answers to. Yes, he was gay. WOW! Since when was Sungmin gay? He never told me, at least I don't think he told me. No, he didn't have a boyfriend. For some reason I was very happy with that answer. I didn't think much on it at the time, but now I know. I wanted him for myself. Then the last question that he answered. Did he like someone. He had said yes, but that person didn't know he was alive. Didn't know he was alive? Then that person was blind and didn't deserve someone as special as Sungmin. And he just lost someone close to him. I just tsk tsk him an answer, at that time not knowing he was talking about me. Now, I've figured it out. I know he was talking about me. That I was the one who didn't know he existed. Is he crazy! He's my bestfriend! But he's not talking about friendship, but love. Love....I thought I had loved Jae, but now I know I love Sungmin. Signing, I get up from the bed and walk over to a chair in the corner of the room. As I sit, I notice an indescript book laying on a tabel next to the chair. Thinking it was just a story, I opened the book. My Journal is written on the inside page, with Sungmin under. A smile crept over my face. Sungmin's journal, wonder if he ever wrote anything about me i it. Opening to the first entry, it was dated five years ago. I looked at the date, that was the day I meet Sungmin. Reading it told of our first meeting, and Sungmin's love at first sight. I felt my eyebrows jerk up, he's loved me this long? Flipping the page, I laughed as he described our boating adventure, where he fell into the lake. Going through the journal, I stopped at an entry written in forced shaking handwritting.'They're in love! No! They can't be because I still love him! Please God don't let them be a couple! They started kissing and hugging today, and I hurt deep inside.' Staring at the page, is he talking about Jae and I? How did Sungmin know that I had feelings for Jae, I never told anyone. Flipping a few more pages 'I can't hardly take it anymore! I'm invisiable to him! Walking behind them, they have thier arms around each other and Jaes head is on Hankyungs shoulder. I'm jealous, yes, I know this feeling. I've lived with it for a while now. But I'll hide it, just like I hide all my feelings toward Hankyung. Time moves on and broken hearts heal. I just wish mine would heal quicker, so I can quit using band aids on it.' I looked at the date, one week before Jae left for Korea. The week Jae and I had spent so much time together. Sungmin was jealous? While thinking this the sun went down and I could'nt read anymore of the journal, and then the door opened and in stepped Sungmin. I watch him as he leans against the door, hearing him whisper, "Just forget about him Sungmin, just forget about him." Silly boy, doesn't he know I'll never let him forget me. Slowly he walked over to his bed and took his clothes off. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. He is so beautiful! His skin a smooth white alabaster with just a touch of pink. His waist nipped in and perky pink nipples. Right at that moment, in my eyes, Sungmin was the most beautiful person on earth. I had seen Jae naked plenty of times, we've even showered together at school lots of times. We never did look at each other, other than just our chest going to the showers. We always bathed back to back, and at least for me, I never peeked, not like I wasn't tempted to though. But, Sungmin still out shown Jae. He sat down and reached for the bunny, wrapping his arms around it, he hugged it, his face buried in its soft fur. Then I see his shoulders shaking, he's crying again. I heard him moan my name. Oh Sungmin, how many times have you sat on your bed, hugging your bunny, crying over me? Don't cry anymore. I watched as he got up to go to one of his dressers. "Where have you been?" I asked him, because believe it or not, I was worried about him. I heard his sharp indrawn breath and in a shaky voice,"Who's here? What are you doing in my room?" I could tell he's starting to panick and wanted to set him at ease. "Who do you think it is? It's me Hankyung." The light turned on and he's staring at me with big eyes and a worried face. "H..h..hankyung, why are you holding my journal?" Sungmin stuttered. He's afraid of me reading his journal. Then I signed, Yes, I know that Sungmin is jealous of Jae, that doesn't bother me. Theres nothing in the journal that had made me mad. If anything, it helped me understand Sungmin better. It told me of how much Sungmin loves me and I plan to use it to my advantage, but first to show him that theres mothing to be jealous of. I sit there thinking, I guess confratation is the key here. Holding the book up."What this? This a great piece of work." I wasn't trying to make him scared or to make him think that I think less for what he has written. This book holds the true Sungmin, all open and raw, No pretending, just him all laid out. I stand up, taking the journal with me, and causally strolled over to Sungmin. I opened the book, "I found this quite intresting, I know people keep these kind of books, but this one is mostly about me and Jae. He hasn't said anything, just standing there, his face flushed red. "Lets see what it says, shall we." I look at him and he's shaking. "Today, I watch as Hankyung and Jae walk down the hall, thier arms around each other, Jaes head on Hankyungs shoulder. They have forgotten me once again. I don't think he'll ever notice me, all he sees is the beautiful Jaejoong." I shut the book and tossed it on his bed. Shaking my head I walk towards him again, only to see him backing up from me, pushing up against the wall. Good, now he can't get away. Placing my hands beiside hi head. "Little Sungminnie Is jealous of the beautiful Jaejoong, now isn't he." I see him shaking his head no and bowing his head down, so I can't see his face. I lean in, "Don't lie, its written in your journal." I hear his sobbs as he looks up at me, "Please Hankyung, don't." He whispered to me. I hear the desperation in his voice, the sound of someone whos losing someone important to them. I know I'm the important one to him, I wanted to stop, but I can't. Confratation, yes, ughu. "Don't what? Tell you hoe beautiful Jaejoong is. He's beautiful isn't he. All that fair skin and kissable lips." I watched as he closed his eyes in pain, and tried to get away from me. "Get out! Get out of my room!" I couldn't stop myself. I needed for him to know that I find him more beautiful than Jae, more desireable. I kiss him. He's so sweet, his lips soft and moist. I slowly slide my tounge in and he tasted so good. Joy flowed through me when he started to kiss me back. He felt so good pushed up to me, then he pulled away. His face contorted from what he thought he knew. "NO! GET OUT! YOU DON'T WANT ME! YOU WANT JAEJOONG! NOW GET OUT AND DON'T TOUCH ME AGAIN!"He pushed me back and opened the door. Walking to the door, "Your wrong, I don't want Jaejoong, I want you." Saying this I stepped out. I stood there, just outside of his room. Turning I reached over and opened his door, and walked back in. I'm not giving up that easily. Sungmin was sitting on his bed, crying. Walking over to him, he glances up at me." Why are you back in here, Hankyung? Don't you think youv'e hurt me enough." I take him by the arms, hearing his startled gasp and he grabbs my forearms. "Sungmin, I think you are beautiful, far more beautiful that Jaejoong. I love you. Only you. No one else. Do you understand." I slide my arms around him, holding him tight to me, " Please don't tell me to leave, Sungmin. Be mine, let me love you." Raising my head, "Let me make love to you. I want you,body, mind and soul. I want your everything. Everything that you can give." I feel his arms tighten around me, his tears wetting my chest. I run my hands up and down his back. I hear his whispered, "I love you to. Hankyung." I smiled, "Please, don't leave me, love me, Hankyung, please love me.....