My Slave YAOI chapter 33
Jaejoong's pov
I stand outside the Jung home biting my lower lip, slowly I limped to the front door. My bottom felt like knives where cutting me, my back sore from being pushed roughly against the shower wall, and my legs where still a bit weak.
Its now night time, and I had waited till the last possible minute before I had to face Yunho. He hurt me. The thing is, I may hurt physcially, I do, I hurt alot, but, I hurt more emotionally. He had hurt me so bad with his words. Words...sometimes they mean nothing, then sometimes the right words won't come forth, and then sometimes the words that are spoken can never be taken back. But the right words can make everything right again. This is what I believe and what i hope is for Yunho to say the words that will make everything right. How could he say those words to me. I could never cheat on him, I love him to much, even after what happened, I still love him. But still, I didn't know how I was going to face him, how to act towards him. I knew I had to, Yunho still held that contract over me and my family. Ater all is said and done, I'm still his....slave.
I walked into the house, going upstairs to our shared room. Opening the door, I come to the middle of the room. There he is, standing by the window, looking down at the street below. I hear him say, "I thought you where going to stand outside all night." Yunho turned and looked at me, I see pain in his eyes. He walked over to me and gently cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb over the dark bruise that had appeared. "Yu..Yunho." I whispered to him, but he cut me off,"Jae." Yunho lifted my face and gently kissed me. Softly he moved his lips on mine and I felt my eyes tear up again, falling down my cheeks. Then he stepped back, and I saw sorrow in his eyes.
Turning he walked over to his desk, picking up a piece of paper, he turned and walked back over to me. Looking up, I knew, before he said a word, I knew. Yunho looked at me, "Jae, I release you from our contract. You are free to go." I watch him as he slowly ripped the paper into and then into again. He was destroying the only thing that held me to him! "You are no longer my slave." He turns his back on me and I stood there shaking. "Yunho...you don't want me anymore?" I whispered in a small voice, my throat dry as I tried to swallow the bile rising up. Without turning, "No." My breaking heart stopped beating for a second. Then I felt it. The anger building up in me. He was throwing me away like a used rag. Letting me go like I was some kind of toy for him. But wait, that is what I was to him, his boy toy. My eyes narrowed and I pressed my lips into a thin line. He doesn't want me! He never wanted me! "FINE! I'm outta here!" I yelled at him. Swinging around I took one step and gasped. MY ASS! UGHHH! More slowly now,I walk over to the door.
"Jae, where are you going to stay?" Yunho asked me. I felt my back stiffen, without turning around," I believe if you think about it, you can figure it out by yourself." I snapped at him, not once questioning why he was asking me. "Jae, please don't let anyone touch you...touch your body." Turning, furious now, I face him. Laughing, I pointed to the torn pieces of paper on the floor. "You have lost the right to tell me what to do. You have lost all rights to me PERIOD! And who I let touch me is none of your buisness now." I glared at Yunho and then turned and left. Walking out the bedroom door, I thought I heard him whipering my name. Shaking my head, I left the Jung household, heading to the one place where I knew I would be accepted.
Yunho's pov
Pacing in my bedroom, I stormed over and slammed my fist into the wall. Anger filled me. What had I just done? What in the hell is wrong with me? I raped the one person who ever truly loved me! I felt sick to my stomache as I remembere Jae begging me to stop, pleading with me to listen to him. But rage had overcome me and i was unstoppable. Making my way over to the window, I see the sun setting, and Jae hasn't come home yet. I shouldn't have left him there like that. I had stood outside the shower, listening to Jae cry and asking me to come back to him. Instead, I left. I left him there to deal with what I did to him by himself, alone. I walked away when he needed me the most, even though I was the one to cause him the pain.
Looking over to my desk, I had layed out the contract when I had got home. I had decided while riding home , that I would let him go. I could not trust myself around him anymore. Could not trust myself not to hurt him anymore. I felt like the walls of my bedroom was closing in on me. Jae, my pretty boy, how am I going to live without you in my life? Glancing back outside, I see him. He's limping and I could tell he is in pain. How many times have I took him to heaven, only today, to take him to hell, and I wish more than anything I could take back what I did. Take back my jealousy and anger, and trust him more. Trust...I never trustd him, yet he never gave me a reason not to trust him. Why? Why couldn't I, they are just friends. Now I come to accept this, when its to late for us. Yes, to late for us. To late for my love, for his love.
He stood out there, looking up at my window. I didn't try to hide myself. I knew he couldn't see me. Jae...I signed as he finally came in. Hearing the door open, I stayed by the window, as he walked to the center of my bedroom. Not looking at him, "I thought you where going to stand outside all night." I turned around and looked at Jae. I felt tears smart my eyes as my eyes took in his face. I did that. I slowly walked over to him and cupped his cheek. I did this to him. My stomach clenched as I looked at him. He's broken, torn and unsure. I can see it in his eyes. I moved my thumb over his smooth cheek, marred by a dark bruise. My hands shaking, I hear him whisper my name as I leaned forward. "Jae." I groan as I feel pain from regret run through me. Gently I touched my lips to his. It is meant to be a farewell kiss, a kiss goddbye. While kissing him, I felt his tears wet my cheeks, I lifted my head and I knew I was on the verge of tears myself.
Stepping back, I put some space between us. I know what I am about to do was going to be hard, but I had to do it, had to keep Jae away from me. My heart breaking, I picked up our agreement, and with a shaking voice, I told Jae he was free. "Jae, I release you from our contract." That said, I tore up the paper. "You are no longer my slave." I told him, and I almost fell, my knees almost gave out from under me, as I tried to keep my feelings under control. I heard his soft crying, "Yunho...you don't want me anymore?" Jae asked me. YES!! I wanted to shout, YES!! I will always want you Jae. I love you. But how can you stay with me. Look at what I did to you. But, I shook my head, and said the one word I didn't want to say,"No." I wanted to cut my tounge out rather than say that to him. I turn to look at him, he was mad, no, more I think, upset. He would be, he loves me. Then he yelled out, "FINE!! I'm outta here!" He twirled around and headed for the door, I heard his pain filled gasp, and he slowed his walk. I had to ask, had to know. Because I knew he couldn't go home. "Jae, where are you going to stay?" I knew though, I knew who he would go to. I wasn't jealous now, didn't feel the hot red hate come to me at the tought. Yes, its to late,to late not to be jealous of him now. Still facing away from me, I heard him say," I believe if you think about it, you can figure it out." He told me in a cold voice. I don't know why I said it. But I had to tell him, show hm that I still....."Jae. please don't let anyone touch you...touch your body." I didn't want anyone else having him or loving him like I did and still do. I still wanted him for me, even though I just ended it with him. "You have lost the right to tell me what to do!" He says this with tears streaming down his cheeks. "You have lost all right to me PERIOD! And who I let touch me is no longer your business!" NO! It was my business! I screamed to myself as I watch Jae leave me. Jae! Don't leave me. "Jae." I whispered to the empty room as I feel to the floor, and for the first time crying for the one I love. Jae, I want you, I want you. Come back! I layed there crying, grieving over my lost love.