Dark Surrounds Me Part 3
*LOL* Can I just say how awsome moon1084 is... dear thank you for beta-ing this fic
I lifted Jae up in my arms, and was surprised to feel how thin he is, even being six months pregnant. His body shivered and then he tensed again as another contraction swept over his belly. Turning, I headed back to the bedroom, still holding Jae, I grabbed the bedspread off the bed and wrapped Jae's naked body in it. I hear Jae groan from the fabric touching his sore back.
Quickly, I left the house with Jae and opened the door to our car whilst gently placing Jae into the seat. I fastened the seatbelt around his swollen belly, with the belt laying low on his stomach.
I ran around the car and jumped into the driverʼs seat. Jamming the key into the ignition, I cranked the car and jerked the gear shift into reverse. The car bumped over the curb as it rolled out into the quite street, making us bounce, and making Jae moan louder. I put the car in drive while looking over to my wife, who was as white as a sheet. Sweat covered his face and dripped down his throat. Stepping on the gas, the car lunged forward and we took off to the hospital.
My mind was running around in circles.
This was my fault! I was killing the baby from the abuse I had kept putting Jae through.
If I had kept my hands off of him, he wouldn't be in pain right now. He wouldnʼt even be in a position to loose our baby!
That thought jerked me out of my musings.
Our baby.
Ours.
His.
Mine.
Ours....
MY BABY!!
My hands trembling on the steering wheel, I felt like it was taking forever to get to the hospital, and I pressed the accelerator harder. I was impatient to get Jae into good hands and to save our baby. The baby had to be ok. It was too early to have it. If it was born now, it would die.
What happened to my thinking that it was my brothers? Did I still think it was his? I could have a D.N.A. test done. It wouldn't matter either way; I would raise it like it was mine.
I looked back over at Jae to see he had his eyes shut tight, fighting the pain rushing through his body. Then I thought of something....
Would Jae forgive me?
Does he still love me?.............I wouldn't love myself.............Right now I hate myself........I'm disgusted at what I put him through.
My heart almost stopped as I remembered what I did to him tonight. What made me so mad? Why did I take it out on Jae?
I know that just seeing him, seeing him pregnant, brings back the memories of that day. Brings back to mind my lovely wife spread out on our bed with my brother between his silken thighs; to my brother moaning Jae's name as he moved in him, and Jae just laying there.
We reached the hospital in record time. I jumped out of the car and rushed around to open the door for Jae. I gathered him up in my arms and slammed the door shut. Dashing to the emergency room entrance, I ran through. As soon I saw a nurse, I was yelling out to her.
The nurse looked at me holding Jae and raised her eyebrows, "Can I help you, sir?" The nurse asked coldly, noticing that I held another man in my arms. I gritted my teeth, "Yes, my wife is pregnant, and has started contracting!" I yelled at her. The nurseʼs face changes quickly as she looked at Jae. Then she turned back to me, "Sir, follow me quickly." She took off to the back of the hospital and I trailed after her.
We went through a set of wooden double doors marked Labor and Delivery. She led us to a room with a sign that read evaluation room. She walked over to the last bed and lowered the guard rails. Then she went to a closet and removed a hospital gown, turning the nurse looked over to us, "You need to put this on him, and get him settled in the bed. I will be back in to hook him up to the monitor and start an I.V." I nodded and she left the room, to give us privacy.
Gently, I set him on the side of the bed and unwrapped the blanket from his body. Jae is looking at me with a blank face, and it scares me. To get my mind off the things, I asked him questions.
"Jae, how long have you been contracting?" He glanced up at me, and then lowered his head, his voice low as he whispered, "For about an hour."
That was the only question I was able to ask before the nurse made her appearance again, bringing in with her an I.V on a trolley, and bags of magnesium sulfate solution. When she sees our eyes on the bags she smiled and said, "Most of the time, it's dehydration that causes contractions. We can control them or make them go away completely with a few bags of fluids."
The nurse moves to Jae who is sitting on the side of the bed, and stops short. Her eyes narrow as she sees the dark bruises covering Jae's face. She turned to me, her face set in anger, and then she looks back to Jae. She kneels down and gently places her hands on Jae's knees, "Sweetie, can you please tell me what happened to your face?"
I felt my heart almost stop as Jae looks up to me, his big eyes flat, void of emotion. Then he looks back to the nurse, "I was just being clumsy." Jae muttered to the nurse looking down at his hands in his lap. The nurse signed, "If something happened and you want to talk about it, just let me know. But, I have to tell you that if someone," the nurse looks back up at me pointedly, "is abusing you, you have rights, ok. You don't have to live in that type of environment, and your baby doesn't have to either.." Jae glanced up at the nurse, "I hit my face on the toilet while throwing up last night. Thatʼs all, no ones touched me." The nurse nodded and rose up, "Well, if you change your mind and want to talk, you can come to me." The nurse gave me another withering look and walked over to the fetal heart monitor. Taking two long strips of cotton with round devices on them, she walked back over to Jae. "These tell us how the baby's heart beat is doing. They go around your waist, and rest low on your belly." The nurse reached around and placed the two belts around Jae's tummy, and instantly the tiny sound of a heart beat filled the room.
I stand there listening to the heartbeat. This is a baby. There is a baby inside of my wife. I felt tears come to my eyes, and I look at Jae. The nurse was helping him lie down on the bed and covering him with the thin blanket. I watched as she started Jae's I.V, and set the flow to a slow drip. She stands up, taking her gloves off and disposes of them in the trash, "I'll come back in about fifteen minutes, to check on you. You try to relax and just let the solution do its magic okay." She turned and left the room, leaving me with alone with Jae.
I walked over to him and sat in the chair beside him, "Jae, why didn't you tell her?" I asked him. Jae lowered his head and played with the blanket, and then his face tenses as another contraction hits him, and the heartbeat drops for a second. Both our heads jerk over to the machine and then we release of breath that we didnʼt realize we were holding when after a minute the contraction passes, and the heartbeat had returned to normal.
Jae looks back to me and smiles gently. How can he still smile after everything I did to him." Yunho, I just couldn't see you go to jail. I still love you. Even after what you have done to me, I still find it in me to love you. I find it in me to try and forgive you. It's hard. Every night knowing that you will come home and hit me and continue to hurt me. But, I love you. Yunho, I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to live in fear of you. I'm afraid of your touch, because all it brings me is pain."
Jae looks up at me with shimmering eyes, and I felt my heart rip into pieces. What have I done to him! My wife! The one man that I love.
I back up from the bed. My feet felt like lead weights. I turned and quickly walked out the door. I...I...had to get my thoughts in order. I had to figure out where I went wrong.
I found myself walking out of the hospital, and to the car. Every step was taking me further away from my wife. My wife, who was fighting to save our baby. I started the car and drove off.
After a while I found myself in front of a small bar. Getting out of the car, I went inside. I needed a drink.
I sat at the bar and ordered a beer, nothing to strong; I needed to get back to the hospital soon, for my wife. I had to be there for him, but first I needed a drink. I raised the bottle to my lips, feeling the cool liquid run down my throat. I signed, and then tensed up at a very familiar and unwanted voice.
"Well, if it isn't my loving little brother. Where is that hot ass wife of yours, Yunho? God he was good. Does he always say "no" and resist like that when you guys have sex. Man that was such a turn on." I turned on my brother, "Kwang Sun, shut the fuck up!" I reared back and punched him, Kwang Sun landing on the floor. "You raped my wife!!! You asshole. You have no idea what I've put him through because of you. I thought he was cheating on me, when in fact he was being raped by you. And now he's caring your baby!" Kwang Sun stood and laughed, "He can't be having my baby, I never released in him, you came in before I could paint his insides." I stood there as my brother laughed and walked off. He didn't get Jae pregnant. The baby's not Kwang Sun's. Then that means... the baby is really mine!
Then another thought hit me. My wife was raped! He was being raped and I didn't help him, instead, I hurt him more.
Now thinking back on it more clearly, I see Jae not just laying there, but, pushing with his hands. I didn't see this at the time, I was too angry. So I didn't see the tears on his face before he saw me. I didn't hear his quite pleas for the man above him to stop. I had just seen Jae under my brother.