Dark Surrounds Me Part 6
beta-ed by moon1084, thank you dear <333
~Jaejoong
Junsu and I sit on the couch laughing when my mother left the livingroom again, only to come back in a few minutes with her purse
in one hand and a phone at her ear.
I glance up and smile at her when she ended her call. She walks over and sit's in the chair sitting next to the couch.
"Jae, my taxi will be here soon to take me to the airport." I felt my smile slip from my face.
"So soon? I thought I 'd have more time with you." I frowned as I hear the taxi pull up to the curb outside. I stood up when my
mom stood and hugged her tightly.
I walked over to the door with her, Junsu beside me. I started to reach out and take a bag in my hand when Junsu stopped me, "You
know you are not supposed to be lifting heavy things. Let me get this for your mother, you walk her to the car, ok." I sighned.
Why did I all of a sudden fell helpless. Like I was just in everyones way.
My mom and I walked over to the waiting cab and we hugged again. She cupped my face in her hands and made me look at her,
"Whatever has happened between you and Yunho, you need to fix it. If it's as bad as I think, you need to either divorce him or go
back to him. A husband and wife should be together. You guys married for better or worse. If he's showing you his worse side,
well, I'm sure you ca show him yours. I know you have never showed a hint of your temper with him. Maybe it's time to show him
that he cannot be mistreating you in anyway." I sighned again, as I listened to her. I knew she was right. And yes I did have quit
a temper when roused. I'm just sure that Yunho's temper was worse than mine. Then again, I had scared people with my sudden
outburst at times.
I nodded my head in agreement with her. "Yes, I will think about it. Yunho has never seen me at my worst, just at my lowest." I
smiled half-heartily at her as she breaks from me and opens the cab door, "Jae, I'm sure whatever you plan, Yunho will be
deserving of it, or you wouldn't be here. Just don't do anything that you will regret or get in trouble over. And don't let your
anger take you over, keep a clear head, ok." She waved one last time to Junsu and I. Junsu having finished loading her luggage in
the trunk of the car, came to stand next to me. We waved back until the cab dissaperaed from our sight.
Junsu and I looked at each other, turned and walked back inside of the house.
~Yunho
I enter the house. I can feel the difference in the atmosphere. The love was gone. The feeling of belonging somewhere was gone. My
love was gone and may not come back. The last thought broke my heart into billions of pieces.
I walked to the kitchen, Jae's own sanctuary. The one room that was cleaner than any other room in the house. Jae's reasoning for
this, this room is where the food that keeps us healthy is prepared. So it stands to reason that this room should be cleaner. Not
that the other rooms of the house wasn't any cleaner, just that he seemed to spend more time cleaning the kitchen. I opened the
cabinet and took out a bottle of liquior and a tumbler. I set the bottle beside the glass and leaned on my forearms, starring at
the vain of my existence.
Slowly my hand reached forward and upcapped the bottle and poured a good amount in the glass. I picked it up and looked at the
dark amber liquid inside, sloshing around. Slowly, I bring the tumbler to my lips and take a small sip. I closed my eyes when the
familiar burn was felt going down.
I think of Jae, and lowered the drink back to counter. I stand there gazing at the cup. "Get help with my drinking." I muttered to
myself. My eyes moved over to the bottle, then back to the glass. I picked it back up, and took another long drink.
I stopped suddenly when Jae comes to my mind again. I think of the hell I put him through. I can still see the fear in his eyes,
can still see his small body curling around his belly, trying to protect the innocent life living there.
I feel the anger flow through me. Anger at myself for ruining what I had with my wife. Anger that I could ever believe that Jae
would cheat on me. Anger that I ever doubted his love for me.
At the same time I was feeling the anger, I felt shame and a bundel of other emotions in me. The shame was overwhelming. My head felt like it was about to explode at the pictures that flashed through it. All the times I had hurt Jae came rushing back to me.
All the times he cried out to me to stop.
I glare at the glass in my hand and send it hurling through the air and watch it slam into wall. The think glass shattering,
littering the floor with broken fragments, the brown liquid dripping down the wall. I turn and grab the bottle and slamed it into
the sink seeing the bottle break, mocking me, saying this was now my marriage. A broken marriage.
My pulse was racing, my breathing chaotic, hands clenched into fist at my sides.
I lean on the counter , my hands supporting me, pushed flat on the surface of the counter, my head hanging low as tears poured
down my face. Again Jae's words repeated in my head, "Get help."
I pulled in deep breaths to calm my frayed nerves. I lifted my head up and looked at the stained wall.
I had messed up Jae's kitchen. His perfectly clean kitchen.
I backed up from the room, my eyes still on the broken glass and spilled liquior on the floor.
I turned and rushed towards the couch. The sidetable housed the telephone and phonebook. Sitting, I snatched up the phonebook.
Flipping through the pages I came upon what I wanted. I quickly dialed the number and waited.
As the other person on the end answered, I cleared my throat, "Umm, yes. I would like to join your alcoholics sessions." I had
made up my mind. No matter what, I would get my wife back. No matter how long it would take. I would make him love and trust me
again.
I finished up, with the times and dates written on a pad of paper beside of me. I looked for the other number and dialed.
Anger Management sessions. I knew I needed this. Jae was right. No matter what he did or didn't do, he didn't deserve my anger
being taken out on him. I could feel disgust bubbling up in me. My wife is pregnant and I treated him this way. I think that one
thought is what caused me the most grief now. Instead of being there for him, I deserted him. And even worse, I hurt him.
Why did he never leave me? Why did he not run to where I couldn't find him? Why?
I hear the other person picked up and I made an appointment to see the psychiatrist.
After doing this I leaned back on the couch and run my hands through my already messed up hair.
I'm doing this for my family. All for Jae and the baby.
I get back to my feet, and go to the kitchen and clean up the mess.
~Jaejoong
Junsu looked down at me, "Are you hungry? I could fix us lunch." I laughed. "Junsu, I'm over six months pregnant, and eat for two.
I'm always hungry."
Junsu glanced over my lounging body, "For a pregnant man, you are way to thin, Jae."
I sighned, "Yeah well, I haven't had much of an appitite lately." Junsu gave me a knowing look.
An awkward silence came over the room as we sat looking at each other. I cleared my throat and Junsu shifted his eyes away from
me.
Junsu got up and started for the kitchen whe I called out to him, "Hey Junsu, need any help?"
Junsu turned smiling, "No, you just need to lay there and keep being the beautiful pregnant man that you are." Junsu turned
laughing, and I yelled out, "Ah! Very funny Cousin Su!" I hear Junsu laughing as he went to the kitchen.
With Junsu in the kitchen, that left me to think about what I could do to Yunho. I had an idea but, I would need Junsu's help. I
just wondered if he would help me. It was probably not something he would be used to thinking about. But then again, I didn't know
Junsu's private , very private life. I smiled as I thought about what Yunho's reaction would be. The way he would squierm, the way
he would beg. I could really get used to him begging me. I smirked at the thought that he could actually like it, that would not
go with my plans. I would have to make sure he didn't like it, at least not at first.
I didn't know how long I had been laying there thinking, but, Junsu was suddenly in front of me with a tray filled with food.
Junsu sat the tray down on the coffee table, and sat besdie of me, by my feet.
I cleared my throat again and gathered up the courage to ask him to help me. "Junsu, I need your help with something. Please say
that you will help me with it." I lowered my head and fiddled with my fingers.
"Of course I'll help you. You know you can always count on me to help you, Jae." Junsu grinned at me.
I explained what I needed help with and I watched as his smile faded. He glanced down at the floor then back up at me, "Are you
you want to do that to him? What in the world did he do to deserve something like that. Remind me to never get on your bad side,
you have evil ways of getting back." Junsu scooted away from me a little bit, and I laughed again, "Junsu, I never could be mad at
you. And what he did to me was a lot worse than what I have planned for him." I shifted as the baby kicked, making it's prescence
known.
Junsu bit his lip as he leaned forward, "What did he do, Jae. What was so bad that you would think of something like that?"
I felt a slight wave of anger wash against my heart. My face started burning, not from embaressment, but from the hurt that I went
through. Moving, I sit up and then got to my feet, "What did he do to me? Are you sure you want to know, Junsu? Are you sure you
want to see what the great Yunho did to me?"
I didn't wait for him to answer. I turned so my back was presenting to him, and raised my oversized t-shirt, baring to him the
marks that marred my shoulders and back. The marks dissaperaing below the band of my pants.
I gasped when I felt his cold fingers gently touch my back, then moving down to the waist of my pants, pushing them down a little
to see the marks there also. "Oh my god Jae. Why would he do this?" Junsu whispered and I hear the clogging sound of tears in his throat.
I quickly lowered my shirt and turned to face him. He had tears smearing his face, he was trying to wipe them them off as they rolled down. "Junsu, this is why I am here. This is why I have to get back at him. I have to hurt him the way he hurt me. Do you understand. This is the only way he will ever know what I went through."
Junsu sighned,his tears finally ceasing, "Fine. Just lay back down, then you can tell me what you need." I let Junsu help me lay on the couch and I gave him a list of what was needed, and the specifics of what certains things needed to be. Junsu shook his head, "I agree, he really does deserve this, I just hope you don't kill him, Counsin Jae."
"Oh, trust me. He'll live. He will probably wish that he wasn't by the time I get done with him, but he will survive." Now that I knew what I wanted, I was impatient to get started with it. "So Junsu, can you get this done for me say in...maybe two days time?"
Junsu grinned, "You just want to get on with it don't you." He rose and went to the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with the phoneboook. "Because it's you, I'll get started on it now. And plus, I think Yunho desrves it."
While Junsu was flipping through the phonebook, I took a good look at him. My cousin was really cute. Innocent, with a hint of devil showing through. His short brown hair was gelled up into spikes. He was very stylish dresser. Always looking neat and very clean. I smiled as I wondered if he had a girl or boy friend.
"Hey Junsu. Are you involved with anyone?" I asked him as he wrote down phone numbers down on a legal pad.
He glanced up at me and a blush tinged his cheeks a light pink. He looked back down, but, I didn't miss the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. So, he does have someone special. I waited for him to tell me about his 'friend'.
"His name his Park Yoochun. He's a lawyer, and very good to me. We've been together for a little over three months." Junsu went back to the phonebook, still smiling thinking about his Yoochun.
I smiled at his lowered head. Yes, he was very cute and Park Yoochun was very lucky to snare a certain Kim Junsu.
Still, I felt like I needed to warn him, "Junsu, be careful, ok. You never know what he is capable of. Don't ever let him hurt you."
Junsu frowned, "He wouldn't ever lay a finger on me that I wouldn't want on me, hung. You don't have to worry about him. He's very tame." I was relieved at this, and grinned when he looked up at me. "I'm happy to hear that, Su. He sounds like a nice guy. Maybe he can come over sometime and I can meet him, huh." Junsu smirked at me, "You just want to tease me in front of him." We laughed as Junsu contuined to write on the pad and the baby kicked me once more.
~Yunho
Mr Sung looked at the tightly strung man sitting on his couch, "He did the right thing Mr. Jung."
I looked up at the physiatrist, "I want him back home with me." I muttered childishly, showing how not right I was at that moment.
Mr. Sung shook his head, "I'm sure you do, Yunho. But you know as well as I do that right now thats not a good idea. He was right in leaving when he did. What if your anger hurt that baby? Have you ever thought about how Jae feels? How he felt all those times that you took your anger out on him? You both need this time. Him to heal and you to calm down. The anger that poured off you when you came in here was unbelieveable. I'm surpried you didn't break any of your wives bones in your rage."
I leaned back and closed my eyes, "I know all this already. You aren't telling me anything I haven't already thought of. And yes, I have thought about Jae. I've thought about nothing but him. It's only been two days and already I miss him so much I don't think I'll be able to breath if it wasn't for his nightly calls." I was shaking, not really knowing why. Me Sung has been very good at keeping his personal opinions to himself.
"I don't know if I can make it till me comes back home. I miss his touch. I miss his smell, his very prescence. The house doesn't feel the same. It's empty. No soul there. There's noone living there but an empty shell until he comes home. I'm trying though. I go to alcoholic sessions and I come here. It's only been like what three days and I already have started what he asked me to."
The physiatrist just sighned sadly. This new paitent was going to have to have many sessions. He just wan't getting it. So what that he started sessions. Thats not the point. The point is getting help. The point is showing that you care enough to listen to his wife. "When is he coming home?" yunho looked at the doctor, "A week before he delivers." Yunho leared forward and rested his arms on his thighs, fingers laced together.
"When he comes home, it might be a good idea not to touch him until he's ready for your touch. Let him touch you first. That way you know he's willing to accept your hand on him. That doesn't mean he wants you to have sex with him, that just means he's willing to start trusting you again. It will be a small step for you, but, a big one for him. Another thing. He needs to sleep by himself. You do not need to be in the same bed as him. If you have a guest room, I advise you to use it. If not then sleep on the couch. Just don't sleep in the same room as him. In other words if he decideds to come home, take it slow. Take it very slow."
The buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the session, and Yunho rose to his feet, picking up his dress jacket on the way out of the door, "Mr. Jung. Same time next week, ok." I nodded and left the building.
Walking to the car, my cellphone started ringing. I flipped it open and saw a unfamiliar number. I pressed talk and raised it to my ear, "Hello." The voice on the other line was poliet, but, professional. "Mr. Jung, this is Mr.Hong Li your brothers lawyer. Your brother asked me to call you. I'm to inform you that he was picked up on child rape charges today." I was shocked. I had stopped walking and stood frozen, the phone to my ear. I heard, "Mr. Jung? Mr. Jung?" Then, "Mr. Jung, your brothers case will go before a grand jury, if tried he could get life in prison."
I came back to life, "Child rape? He's being tried for child rape?" I couldn't get my mind around this. My brother raped a child. I felt disgust at Kwong Sun. "Let him rot in prison. I don't care. He's not my brother anymore. I disown any kind of relatioship with him." With that I snapped the phone shut. I stood there for a moment more, before opening the phone again.
Dialing Jae's mom's house, I waited for him to pick up. I hear a very beautiful voice come over the line, "Hello?" I closed my eyes as his sweet tone ringed in my ear. "Jaejoong, I need to see you as soon as possible. It's really important, ok." I hear his hesatation and then his, "I was about to call you Yunho. I was wondering if you would come over tommorrow. I need to talk to you also. So will tommorrow be soon enough?"
I smiled, "Yes, tommorrows fine. Jae, I love you." He didn't say anything, then, "I'll see you tommorrow Yunho." And the line went dead.