{fanfic/oneshot} Kris/Luhan - Do I wanna know?
Title: Do I wanna know?
Pairing: Kris/Lu Han
Author: pinklunacy
Rating: PG-13 for heavy mentions of sex
Word Count: ~1880
Summary: Written in reply to a prompt @ exopromptmemethat read Kris/Luhan and Post-coitus bed talk.
A/N: I have no idea how this happened. I stopped writing more than 3 years ago and I was so sure I’d never ever try writing again. But then I did anyway and I sort of went for crack and a drabble but this is >1800 words and full of angst and idek. I’m really confused and really sorry for the OP. Also, this is probably super ooc but yeah, whatever.
Wufan loves Luhan’s voice - he really does. He loves it enough that he got hard just from listening to him sing or talk (or moan) on more than one occasion in the past - the most recent one being a few hours ago, when Luhan started whispering dirty words into his ear while they were waiting for their cue to get on stage. Even minutes ago, Luhan was moaning into his neck, chanting his name like a litany, and Wufan is pretty sure he's never heard anything more beautiful.
But right now, the sound of Luhan’s voice - no matter how melodic - is sort of ruining the afterglow of their very first time together.
It all went very smoothly up till there. They got home at the end of their schedule, both still high and electrified from EXO’s first win in music bank, and suddenly it felt like the perfect moment to take that last step in their relationship - sex. They’d been flirting with the idea for weeks, anyway. They didn’t rush anything though, enjoying a celebratory meal with the rest of the group before discreetly slipping away (not before making sure that Kyungsoo and Sehun would be taking shelter in other rooms for the night - courtesy of Luhan’s not so subtle prodding, thank you very much).
But then in the confines of Luhan’s dorm room, it’s only been curious hands and teasing tongues and long open mouth kisses until Wufan slowly felt all his remaining hesitations drown into the ocean of new sensations that Luhan made him feel. And when finally, finally, Wufan got to experiment what it really feels like to have Luhan, to really have him come undone before his eyes, pliant and responsive and so very amazing in every single way, Wufan could only wonder why in the world it took them so fucking long to get there (he tries very hard to ignore the voice that whispers in the back of his head that he’s been the one slowing them down every time Luhan got a bit too forward).
When everything is over and they’re lying side by side on Luhan’s tiny bed, Wufan's fingers tracing random patterns across a body that still feels so very new to his touch, Wufan keeps marveling at the reality of what just happened. Sadly, his epiphany is short lived and he feels a little off because while Wufan is basking in his post-orgasmic bliss, Luhan simply won’t shut up. He talks and talks and Wufan can barely keep up.
Right after he got his breathing under control, Luhan started to review everything they’d just done (like Wufan wasn’t part of it, really), wondering excitedly about this or that (ie, this kiss or that position), occasionally asking for Wufan's opinion on a specific point and even checking under the sheets to compare the size of their dicks (which had Wufan squirming and blushing like the embarrassed virgin that he certainly is not). He progressively moved onto less enthusiastic topics and Wufan's concentration started deserting him when he branched towards Sehun and Kyungsoo’s respective sex kinks, which Wufan really doesn’t need nor want to know about.
Now, it’s not so out of character for Luhan to be blabbering about anything and everything in any circumstances but these are not excatly usual circumstances and Wufan maybe expects Luhan to better adjust to the mood.
“Why aren’t you tired?” He groans into his pillow because he feels tired, exhausted even, and so should Luhan. That’s how it goes in Wufan's books: a little bit of teasing, good foreplay, mind-blowing sex and then happy cuddling that leads to a soundless night of sleep. All three first steps went accordingly. Wufan is more than ready to get to the last but Luhan’s obviously on a different page.
Luhan’s exuding an energy that Wufan can’t quite explain when all he feels is that absolute peace that only comes after a very good session of lovemaking.
Besides all the talking, Luhan won’t stop moving. He changes position every ten seconds, going from lying on his back, to his side, then flat on his stomach. And then he’s on his side again. It’s unnerving and Wufan's attempts at cuddling turn into some awkward wrestling. He settles for curling a solid arm around Luhan’s chest to try and immobilize him but this soon proves to be quite useless as Luhan keeps squirming underneath him - his body all too tense and wound up to stay still for more than a few seconds. It would normally have alarmed Wufan if he hadn’t already been dozing off.
“Of course I’m tired. But we just had sex for the first time” Luhan finally says absent-mindedly in lieu of an answer, “So I’m just trying to make sure it was all good and that our” - he opens air quotes - “techniques and equipments… match. Or something.”
Wufan snorts at the choice of words but doesn’t elaborate further - Luhan obviously has more to say and Wufan feels more and more sleepy with each passing second.
“I mean, it’s okay to fumble a bit the first time, really” Luhan continues rambling like he wasn’t expecting an answer anyway and his voice sounds maybe a bit too detached to be natural, “but since it was your first time with a guy, you might have some comments or complaints that we should take into account to make sure next time is good. You see?”
Luhan’s looking right at him and it’s obvious that now he is expecting some sort of reply. Wufan doesn’t think much as he wraps a bit more of his body around Luhan’s. He presses his lips against the other’s sweaty temple before speaking in a drowsy tone.
“Well, next time won’t happen any time soon if I don’t get to recover from that very hot first time, so while I appreciate your efforts, would it be okay to just sleep on that and debrief in the morning?”
As soon as the words are out, Wufan realizes he said the wrong thing. There’s a sudden strain in Luhan’s smile and his upper body feels a bit stiffer in Wufan's hold. This time, an army of tiny alarm bells goes off in Wufan's clouded mind. His thoughts reorganize quickly so he can rephrase everything they just said again and again in his head trying to understand what the older man was obviously expecting him to say. He sits up a bit to look down at Luhan. The latter holds his gaze for a short while before he diverts his eyes to stare into the night. A very pale moonlight is filtering though the blinds, painting Luhan’s features with a white glow. The dorm is dead silent. It’s probably past 1 am already. Luhan sighs softly and lets out a nervous chuckle.
“You’re right”, he whispers, “It’s late already. Let’s just sleep.”
“Luhan…” Wufan's words die on his tongue. He sits up completely, pulling Luhan with him and lacing their fingers together. With his free hand, he reaches out to brush Luhan’s hair out of his eyes. There are a million things he wants to say - I love you. You are amazing. Tonight was so perfect I could die - but he’s not sure these are the ones Luhan needs to hear right now. Wufan has never been so good with words, always too blunt and too raw, whereas Luhan is a master at manipulating them - giving meanings to words that should be neutral - regardless of the fact that he’s usually the one getting hurt by it the most.
That’s the thing with Luhan, really. He’s full of insecurities but he shies away from them, swaying skillfully around the things that bother him without ever addressing them directly. Wufan always has to second-guess what he really means whenever he says something a bit too blatantly inconspicuous. Like he did just now, though Wufan totally missed the point.
He gets it now.
The fact that Wufan was very straight before he and Luhan started going out has always been a shadow hovering over both their heads and yet, none of them ever felt the need to talk about it. Luhan didn’t have that much more experience to begin with and, despite the novelty of everything Wufan seemed to rapidly find his footing and easily went with the flow, letting Luhan guide him wherever he wanted at his own pace. The only obstacle that ever held Wufan back has always only been sex.
Wufan knows his previous hesitations took roots into fear. The fear he can explain and he’s always considered it to be normal, seeing that his feelings for Luhan sort of crashed upon him with no further warning when never before in his entire life had he imagined that he would one day be attracted to a guy. But he also understands that it’s exactly what made Luhan so insecure in the first place. Or rather, he did until tonight.
Now, Wufan can’t quite believe that Luhan still feels so unsure about this, about them, even after Wufan just fucked him slow and hard and they both very obviously enjoyed every second of it.
Wufan is fully aware that he should pick his next words very carefully if he wants to stop the cycle of tortuous thoughts going round in Luhan’s brain but it is indeed very late and his own brain isn’t functioning at his normal rate and he really isn’t good with words anyway. So he doesn’t think much before blurting out:
“Are you really that dense? Is this why you’re all wound up and agitated? Because you still think I’m going to change my mind or some other bullshit?”
“I- no, I don’t, I just…”
“Yes, you do. You’re overanalyzing things on your own, like usual, and you’ll only allow me to try and reassure you when you’re already falling apart. Which is really idiot if you ask.”
Luhan opens his mouth a few times to say something but suddenly, he seems unable to produce the slightest sound - a drastic change from barely ten minutes ago. He looks like he’s just been slapped across the face (and maybe a bit ashamed too) and Wufan's confidence crumples a little under a wave of guilt. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have opted for a more direct approach. He sighs heavily and cups Luhan’s face between his large palms, pressing their forehead together lovingly before pulling back again to meet his eyes.
“Listen,” he says, his low voice steady and sure, “In about thirty seconds, I’m going to lean down and kiss you. I’m going to kiss you and push you down on that bed and then we’re going to make love again, and we’re gonna do it all night long if that’s what it takes for you to get it into your thick head that I love you and that I want this as much as you do. And when you finally get it, we’re going to cuddle under the sheets and kiss some more and relax until we fall asleep in each other's arms and no one’s going to dwell on whatever’s worrying you right now anymore. How does that sound?”
Luhan is very still for a few long seconds before his face breaks into a gentle smile, his entire body sagging a little with relief.
“Oh” is all he finally breathes out in reply.
“Yeah. Oh” Wufan echoes before he leans down to kiss him and proceed with his plan.
Fin.
Pairing: Kris/Lu Han
Author: pinklunacy
Rating: PG-13 for heavy mentions of sex
Word Count: ~1880
Summary: Written in reply to a prompt @ exopromptmemethat read Kris/Luhan and Post-coitus bed talk.
A/N: I have no idea how this happened. I stopped writing more than 3 years ago and I was so sure I’d never ever try writing again. But then I did anyway and I sort of went for crack and a drabble but this is >1800 words and full of angst and idek. I’m really confused and really sorry for the OP. Also, this is probably super ooc but yeah, whatever.
Wufan loves Luhan’s voice - he really does. He loves it enough that he got hard just from listening to him sing or talk (or moan) on more than one occasion in the past - the most recent one being a few hours ago, when Luhan started whispering dirty words into his ear while they were waiting for their cue to get on stage. Even minutes ago, Luhan was moaning into his neck, chanting his name like a litany, and Wufan is pretty sure he's never heard anything more beautiful.
But right now, the sound of Luhan’s voice - no matter how melodic - is sort of ruining the afterglow of their very first time together.
It all went very smoothly up till there. They got home at the end of their schedule, both still high and electrified from EXO’s first win in music bank, and suddenly it felt like the perfect moment to take that last step in their relationship - sex. They’d been flirting with the idea for weeks, anyway. They didn’t rush anything though, enjoying a celebratory meal with the rest of the group before discreetly slipping away (not before making sure that Kyungsoo and Sehun would be taking shelter in other rooms for the night - courtesy of Luhan’s not so subtle prodding, thank you very much).
But then in the confines of Luhan’s dorm room, it’s only been curious hands and teasing tongues and long open mouth kisses until Wufan slowly felt all his remaining hesitations drown into the ocean of new sensations that Luhan made him feel. And when finally, finally, Wufan got to experiment what it really feels like to have Luhan, to really have him come undone before his eyes, pliant and responsive and so very amazing in every single way, Wufan could only wonder why in the world it took them so fucking long to get there (he tries very hard to ignore the voice that whispers in the back of his head that he’s been the one slowing them down every time Luhan got a bit too forward).
When everything is over and they’re lying side by side on Luhan’s tiny bed, Wufan's fingers tracing random patterns across a body that still feels so very new to his touch, Wufan keeps marveling at the reality of what just happened. Sadly, his epiphany is short lived and he feels a little off because while Wufan is basking in his post-orgasmic bliss, Luhan simply won’t shut up. He talks and talks and Wufan can barely keep up.
Right after he got his breathing under control, Luhan started to review everything they’d just done (like Wufan wasn’t part of it, really), wondering excitedly about this or that (ie, this kiss or that position), occasionally asking for Wufan's opinion on a specific point and even checking under the sheets to compare the size of their dicks (which had Wufan squirming and blushing like the embarrassed virgin that he certainly is not). He progressively moved onto less enthusiastic topics and Wufan's concentration started deserting him when he branched towards Sehun and Kyungsoo’s respective sex kinks, which Wufan really doesn’t need nor want to know about.
Now, it’s not so out of character for Luhan to be blabbering about anything and everything in any circumstances but these are not excatly usual circumstances and Wufan maybe expects Luhan to better adjust to the mood.
“Why aren’t you tired?” He groans into his pillow because he feels tired, exhausted even, and so should Luhan. That’s how it goes in Wufan's books: a little bit of teasing, good foreplay, mind-blowing sex and then happy cuddling that leads to a soundless night of sleep. All three first steps went accordingly. Wufan is more than ready to get to the last but Luhan’s obviously on a different page.
Luhan’s exuding an energy that Wufan can’t quite explain when all he feels is that absolute peace that only comes after a very good session of lovemaking.
Besides all the talking, Luhan won’t stop moving. He changes position every ten seconds, going from lying on his back, to his side, then flat on his stomach. And then he’s on his side again. It’s unnerving and Wufan's attempts at cuddling turn into some awkward wrestling. He settles for curling a solid arm around Luhan’s chest to try and immobilize him but this soon proves to be quite useless as Luhan keeps squirming underneath him - his body all too tense and wound up to stay still for more than a few seconds. It would normally have alarmed Wufan if he hadn’t already been dozing off.
“Of course I’m tired. But we just had sex for the first time” Luhan finally says absent-mindedly in lieu of an answer, “So I’m just trying to make sure it was all good and that our” - he opens air quotes - “techniques and equipments… match. Or something.”
Wufan snorts at the choice of words but doesn’t elaborate further - Luhan obviously has more to say and Wufan feels more and more sleepy with each passing second.
“I mean, it’s okay to fumble a bit the first time, really” Luhan continues rambling like he wasn’t expecting an answer anyway and his voice sounds maybe a bit too detached to be natural, “but since it was your first time with a guy, you might have some comments or complaints that we should take into account to make sure next time is good. You see?”
Luhan’s looking right at him and it’s obvious that now he is expecting some sort of reply. Wufan doesn’t think much as he wraps a bit more of his body around Luhan’s. He presses his lips against the other’s sweaty temple before speaking in a drowsy tone.
“Well, next time won’t happen any time soon if I don’t get to recover from that very hot first time, so while I appreciate your efforts, would it be okay to just sleep on that and debrief in the morning?”
As soon as the words are out, Wufan realizes he said the wrong thing. There’s a sudden strain in Luhan’s smile and his upper body feels a bit stiffer in Wufan's hold. This time, an army of tiny alarm bells goes off in Wufan's clouded mind. His thoughts reorganize quickly so he can rephrase everything they just said again and again in his head trying to understand what the older man was obviously expecting him to say. He sits up a bit to look down at Luhan. The latter holds his gaze for a short while before he diverts his eyes to stare into the night. A very pale moonlight is filtering though the blinds, painting Luhan’s features with a white glow. The dorm is dead silent. It’s probably past 1 am already. Luhan sighs softly and lets out a nervous chuckle.
“You’re right”, he whispers, “It’s late already. Let’s just sleep.”
“Luhan…” Wufan's words die on his tongue. He sits up completely, pulling Luhan with him and lacing their fingers together. With his free hand, he reaches out to brush Luhan’s hair out of his eyes. There are a million things he wants to say - I love you. You are amazing. Tonight was so perfect I could die - but he’s not sure these are the ones Luhan needs to hear right now. Wufan has never been so good with words, always too blunt and too raw, whereas Luhan is a master at manipulating them - giving meanings to words that should be neutral - regardless of the fact that he’s usually the one getting hurt by it the most.
That’s the thing with Luhan, really. He’s full of insecurities but he shies away from them, swaying skillfully around the things that bother him without ever addressing them directly. Wufan always has to second-guess what he really means whenever he says something a bit too blatantly inconspicuous. Like he did just now, though Wufan totally missed the point.
He gets it now.
The fact that Wufan was very straight before he and Luhan started going out has always been a shadow hovering over both their heads and yet, none of them ever felt the need to talk about it. Luhan didn’t have that much more experience to begin with and, despite the novelty of everything Wufan seemed to rapidly find his footing and easily went with the flow, letting Luhan guide him wherever he wanted at his own pace. The only obstacle that ever held Wufan back has always only been sex.
Wufan knows his previous hesitations took roots into fear. The fear he can explain and he’s always considered it to be normal, seeing that his feelings for Luhan sort of crashed upon him with no further warning when never before in his entire life had he imagined that he would one day be attracted to a guy. But he also understands that it’s exactly what made Luhan so insecure in the first place. Or rather, he did until tonight.
Now, Wufan can’t quite believe that Luhan still feels so unsure about this, about them, even after Wufan just fucked him slow and hard and they both very obviously enjoyed every second of it.
Wufan is fully aware that he should pick his next words very carefully if he wants to stop the cycle of tortuous thoughts going round in Luhan’s brain but it is indeed very late and his own brain isn’t functioning at his normal rate and he really isn’t good with words anyway. So he doesn’t think much before blurting out:
“Are you really that dense? Is this why you’re all wound up and agitated? Because you still think I’m going to change my mind or some other bullshit?”
“I- no, I don’t, I just…”
“Yes, you do. You’re overanalyzing things on your own, like usual, and you’ll only allow me to try and reassure you when you’re already falling apart. Which is really idiot if you ask.”
Luhan opens his mouth a few times to say something but suddenly, he seems unable to produce the slightest sound - a drastic change from barely ten minutes ago. He looks like he’s just been slapped across the face (and maybe a bit ashamed too) and Wufan's confidence crumples a little under a wave of guilt. He shouldn’t have said anything. He should have opted for a more direct approach. He sighs heavily and cups Luhan’s face between his large palms, pressing their forehead together lovingly before pulling back again to meet his eyes.
“Listen,” he says, his low voice steady and sure, “In about thirty seconds, I’m going to lean down and kiss you. I’m going to kiss you and push you down on that bed and then we’re going to make love again, and we’re gonna do it all night long if that’s what it takes for you to get it into your thick head that I love you and that I want this as much as you do. And when you finally get it, we’re going to cuddle under the sheets and kiss some more and relax until we fall asleep in each other's arms and no one’s going to dwell on whatever’s worrying you right now anymore. How does that sound?”
Luhan is very still for a few long seconds before his face breaks into a gentle smile, his entire body sagging a little with relief.
“Oh” is all he finally breathes out in reply.
“Yeah. Oh” Wufan echoes before he leans down to kiss him and proceed with his plan.
Fin.