Break
While in the prison of Bevelle, Seymour takes it upon himself to let Tidus in on a few secrets. Seymour/Tidus, Auron/Tidus, spoilers.
[Final Fantasy X] M+, angst/hurt/comfort, 5500 words, published 01-26-05, rape
I mean, I think everyone in FFX fandom has to write one of these. It's a rite of passage, right? Break
butterflie When Tidus had decided some weeks back to follow Auron on Yuna's pilgrimage, he had never quite imagined that decision would cause him to end up trapped with said man in a bird cage hanging over a high bridge, branded forever as a traitor to Yevon. But here he was, and there Auron was, and they were hanging alone together in a prison in Bevelle. Tidus thought perhaps next time he'd think twice before making such decisions again.
Of course, thinking such thoughts wouldn't do him any good now, he didn't see any way out of their current situation short of suicide. And he doubted even suicide was possible, unless perhaps he took Auron's jug and bashed himself repeatedly in the head with it. Though that would probably just land him with a mild concussion and one hell of a headache. He snickered slightly at the thought.
"I fail to see anything funny about the situation," Auron remarked dryly. Tidus merely grinned at him, resolutely ignoring the feelings Auron evoked in him every time he chanced to look at the older man.
"Man, this is boo-ooring," Tidus whined eventually. "Come on, when's something going to happen? I want out!" No sooner had he spoke this when Maester Kinoc appeared, walking up to the cage where they hung suspended over the water.
"I suppose it's time for our execution?" Auron asked sarcastically.
Kinoc looked offended. "Indeed not. Maester Seymour has business he would like to discuss with the boy, here."
"With me?" Tidus looked confused, and looked to Auron for answers, as if Auron would have any way of knowing why Seymour wanted to see him. But of course the older man had none to give, and Tidus felt more lost than ever. What could Seymour possibly want with him? And what did it matter, wasn't the plan for Seymour to kill them all anyway?
"Yes." Kinoc freed Tidus from the cage, helping him on to the highbridge carefully so he would not fall and plummet to his death in the frigid water below. "Come along now, Maester Seymour does not like to be kept waiting."
Helplessly, Tidus allowed himself to be led, twisting his head to gaze back at Auron, hoping it wouldn't be the last time he'd ever see the man. He did not want to end up alone in Spira. That would be the worst thing of all.
* * *
"Ah, Son of Jecht, welcome. Please, have a seat."
Tidus glared at Seymour. "I wouldn't touch your chairs if my life depended on it," he said rudely, conveniently forgetting the fact that his life did, indeed, depend on it.
Seymour just chuckled gently however, amused at the blond teenager. "Oh, but I insist. I would not want word to get around that I was... inhospitable to my guests."
"Don't you mean your prisoners?" Tidus shot back. "And if you were going for hospitable, I must inform you that you failed that a long while back."
Seymour merely seemed even more amused. He reached out and pushed Tidus down into a chair, gently, before moving to stand behind it. Tidus shuddered at the icy touch of Seymour's unsent fingers against his skin. "My sincerest apologies," he murmured into Tidus' ear, causing another shudder to run throughout the blond. He disliked having Seymour so near.
"What do you want, Seymour?" he asked, hoping to get whatever this was about over with quickly. He was anxious to get back to Auron. He was worried about him, though he didn't quite know why. Auron could take care of himself.
He watched warily as Seymour straightened and came back around to stand once again in front of Tidus, looking down at him. He almost seemed to be... appraising him. Inspecting him. For what, Tidus didn't know. He didn't see the point of this little meeting.
"What I want, Son of Jecht, is you."
"Huh?" Tidus frowned, not catching the half-Guado's meaning. He'd probably just misheard him; his mind wasn't entirely focused in this office. Half of it was still back in the cage, worrying about his guardian.
"I want you, Son of Jecht," Seymour repeated, grasping the boy's chin and tilting it so Tidus was forced to look at his face, into his eyes. "I want to be inside of you, stretching you, filling you with me.." He trailed off, smiling delightedly to himself as understanding dawned in Tidus; the blond's eyes got wide, his face taking on a slightly disgusted and horrified expression.
"You're sick!" Tidus exclaimed, shoving Seymour away from him without really thinking about what he was doing. "You're a freak!"
Seymour's eyes narrowed, his face hardened. "I do not think it so wise to insult me," he said softly, a threatening note quite present in the tone of his voice. "I could have all your friends killed with one simple command."
Tidus swallowed, and turned from Seymour. "I... I don't want it..." he tried weakly, knowing what little good it would do.
"Ah, but I do." He laughed, a chilling sound much unlike his gentle chuckle of before.
"Yeah, but... you're dead..." Another attempt, just as useless as the first.
"What of it? If you like, pretend I am that warrior monk of yours you seem so taken with. It is no different."
"It's plenty different!" Tidus snapped. "He isn't dead, for one thing!" The fact that Seymour had noticed his feelings for Auron escaped him completely.
Seymour only laughed at that, and there was something in his laugh that made Tidus feel less certain about Auron than he was a second ago. "He's not... I -I would have known... I.."
"Son of Jecht, Sir Auron is no more alive than I am. I could sense that the first time I laid eyes on him."
A numb feeling began spreading slowly throughout Tidus' body at Seymour's words. He suddenly remembered Seymour saying, back in Guadosalam, 'We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane'. And how Auron had refused to follow them into the Farplane, saying he did not belong there... the way he'd collapsed to his knees, grasping at his chest as Yuna had re-sent Lord Jyscal. It all made a sickening sort of sense, now that he put all the pieces together. He let out a wild little laugh. Auron was an unsent. Just like half of Spira seemed to be. What kind of world had Jecht brought him to, anyway?
Seymour watched him patiently as he worked it out in his mind. He seemed content to wait Tidus out, as if he had all the time in the world. Perhaps he did. If Auron could remain unsent for ten years, there was plenty of time ahead for Seymour, as long as there was no one around to send him. "Now, what of it?" he asked the teenager mildly. "Are you willing to give yourself to me?"
This seemed to bring Tidus out of his thoughts. "No way!" He made a face. "I'm not crazy!"
"No," Seymour agreed. 'Not crazy. Just very unwise... I shall just have to take what I want then," and he reached out his hand, lightly trailing his fingers down the boy's cheek. "It will give me such a pleasure to break you..."
Tidus had to resist the urge to slap his hand away. Instead, he sat very still, trying to think of a way to get out of this. Seymour sensed the thoughts running through his mind, and smiled knowingly. "Remember, your companions lives are in my hands... It would be stupid to resist." He leaned in to capture Tidus' lips under his own, forcibly shoving his tongue in Tidus' mouth, though Tidus tried his hardest to stop it. Briefly he thought about biting down hard on that cold tongue, but figured that would just be even more stupid. What could he do, how could he get out of this? He didn't want it... didn't want what he knew would happen if he did not stop it soon.
But then... there was everyone else to think about. If he did not let Seymour take what he wanted, then... Seymour would kill them. Of course, he still could kill them anyway, but at least there could be a chance he'd let them live, if only Tidus would let him do this.
But I don't want it, he thought numbly. I don't want it... Auron...
Why was Seymour doing this? What could he possibly want with him? Was it simply just to have the pleasure of trying to break him, as Seymour said? Or was there more to it? Tidus didn't really want to know. Didn't really want to think about it, about any of it. Otherwise Seymour might end up breaking him before he ever even got started.
Seymour's hands were now fumbling at his clothes, deftly undoing the few snaps. Tidus squirmed, knowing that if Seymour succeeded in getting his clothes off it would be all over. There would be no chance of wriggling out of this if he lost his clothes.
The straps fell back off his shoulders; Seymour removed his yellow shirt then lifted him up, carrying him over to his desk. He carelessly shoved aside various papers, ignoring them as they fluttered to the floor in disarray. He lay a struggling Tidus down on the desk and quickly removed the last of his clothes.
Tidus could feel his cheeks burning with shame as he lay naked on Seymour's desk. Instinctively he curled up, knees tucked up against his chest in a fetal position, trying to shield himself and retain what little dignity he felt he had left.
"You are so beautiful," Seymour whispered, removing his own robes as well. "Please, there is no need to cover yourself up. Do not be ashamed."
Tidus could feel tears welling up in his eyes, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. "Seymour... I do not want this," he begged the maester. "Please..."
Seymour appeared not to have heard him, he climbed on top of his desk and gently lowered his body over Tidus', leaning down in to kiss him once more.
Tidus squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to will himself away from this place, away from the awful reality of what was happening. He told himself to think of other things, of Zanarkand, and of Auron. Pleasant thoughts and memories. He managed to make this work quite well, retreating inside his mind as if it was a shell designed to protect him from the horrors of the world.
The illusion was shattered when he felt Seymour inside him, filling him as promised.
He let out a half-choked scream, a sort of strangled sob, jerked painfully back to the present, all too aware once again of what was happening to him. He finally allowed his tears to fall, unable to hold them back any longer, not really wanting to anymore. He wanted Auron, wanted the older man desperately. And yet, at the same time, he didn't want Auron, not wanting to face him after he was made to be so tainted like this. If Auron saw him, he would know, and then he wouldn't want to be around Tidus anymore. Tidus didn't know that he could handle that rejection.
Wildly he thought, If Jecht were here he'd call me a crybaby. A hysterical laugh bubbled up out of him at that. Seymour didn't notice.
It felt like an eternity, Seymour inside of him, his thrusts sharp and painful. It was as if someone had stuck a knife up inside Tidus, and twist, over and over until he was raw and bleeding and so numb from the pain that he barely felt it anymore. He no longer cared anymore. His struggles had ceased long ago. Now he was just waiting. Waiting for it to be over, waiting for Seymour to finish, waiting to be allowed to go back to his cage again, waiting for the chance to escape back inside his mind again.
Dimly he was aware of Seymour's body suddenly shuddering, his fingers digging tightly into Tidus' thighs as his orgasm overtook him, seed spilling inside Tidus. Then Seymour was gone from him. It was over. He could retreat back inside his mind again, and that he did.
He wasn't aware of Seymour carelessly dressing him again, nor did he notice when a Guado guard magically materialized and led him back to the cage he'd shared with Auron, tossing him inside and locking him back up. He slumped down against the bars, his mind still pleasantly floating far away somewhere in a blitzball tournament on Zanarkand.
"Tidus?" Auron asked uncertainly, a bit put out.
Tidus looked up then, for the first time noticing he was no longer with Seymour. Auron was focusing his amber eye down on the blond, looking a bit concerned but still mostly impassive; he didn't know what to make of the teenager. The weight of Auron's gaze was heavy upon him, and he turned his head away, choosing instead to look out over Bevelle. He wondered where Yuna and the others were, if they were alright.
"What did Seymour want?" Auron asked him, for once at a loss for words or what to do next.
To the surprise of both them, Tidus let out a loud, hysterical laugh. And then another, and another, until he was no longer laughing but sobbing, hiding his face in his knees, too ashamed to face Auron anymore. I'm sorry, Auron...
Heavy footsteps approached him; he looked up briefly to see that Auron was kneeling down next to him. He reached out a hand to put on the boy's shoulder, but Tidus flinched and shrank away from his touch, not even bothering to seem apologetic about it.
Auron paused, and took his hand back, intently studying Tidus for a moment. Tidus felt the scrutiny, and looked at his face for the first time, their eyes meeting. Tidus couldn't bear it, he had to turn away again. But that one look was all Auron needed, suddenly he just knew. He felt himself growing angry, though he willed that anger not to show. Tidus might mistake it as anger directed at him. That would not be help improve the situation at all.
Though, as things currently stood, the situation was looking pretty bleak.
* * *
Some days later found the group of seven standing outside the small travel agency in the central area of the Calm Lands, counting the meager amount of gil they currently had. Most of it had been taken when they'd been captured at Bevelle; there had been little time to earn it all back.
At last they decided they had enough so that the men could double two to a room. The women were able to get away with sharing just one. Auron knew Tidus wished for a room to himself; but he was loathe to leave the teen to brood alone so he doubled them together. He expected a fuss from Tidus at this, but Tidus only nodded, acquiescing too easily. It left Auron with a sense of disquiet, a feeling that was normally foreign to him. Things weren't the same anymore.
No one bothered to stay up once they got their rooms, the trek across the Calm Lands throughout the day had been tiring, the fiends tough and plenty in number. And Tidus hadn't fought with them once, causing the others to need to overcompensate to make up for his loss. It left them struggling quite a few times against those fiends that were agile and quick-footed, no one was as apt at handling them as Tidus had been. But he didn't even seem to expect to fight with them, choosing instead to trail along quietly behind them, not speaking even when any of them tried to speak to him.
They all noticed that something was wrong of course-it was impossible not to. Tidus hadn't been his cheerful, energetic self since they'd all escaped from Bevelle, and it was easy to see. But any attempts at conversation with the blond elicited absolutely no results for anyone, not even Auron. The others all wanted to know what was wrong. But no one dared ask Tidus outright-they knew he wouldn't tell them anyway, if even he heard them. Yuna had asked Auron once, when Tidus wasn't near enough to hear her. But Auron had merely shaken his head at her, knowing Tidus would never forgive him if he told the others.
But the two were alone again now, maybe Tidus would feel okay enough to open up and talk about it some. Not that Auron was eager to hear. Rather, it made him sick to think about it. But if it did Tidus good... He'd listen. He'd listen, knowing it would make him feel worse, knowing he had failed in his promise to Jecht but no longer able to do anything about it. He only hoped Jecht would never find out.
The two headed to their room in silence, Tidus nodding vacantly as the others bade him good night. Auron doubted he even really heard their words. Once they got there, the door shut behind them, Tidus halted. He looked around him unsure, a look of such confusion upon his face that Auron's heart went out to him. The others could accuse him of being a stoic stick-in-the-mud all they wanted, Auron knew it wasn't always best to keep your emotions so open.
"Where are we?" Tidus asked then. Auron tried not to let his surprise show.
"We're in the Calm Lands, in what's often referred to as the Central Area. We're staying overnight here," he replied.
He got a frown in return for his answer. "How'd we get here?"
"We walked all day across the plains," Auron told him, a bit uneasily.
"Oh." Tidus hadn't noticed, couldn't recall it at all. He'd been busy tidying his houseboat and practicing his blitz shots most of the day. A couple of times he'd been busy struggling under Seymour, though he shied away from those memories in a hurry. Slowly he started walking over to one of the beds, and absently sat down on it. "I should sleep, huh?"
"That would be wise."
Tidus flinched, hearing a voice in his head. Just very unwise... Seymour's voice said. He moaned, and put his hands to his ears, trying to block the memories out.
Auron watched him, knowing he'd said the wrong thing, not knowing how to take it back. He didn't try to approach Tidus, he didn't know that he could handle seeing the boy cringe away from him again. "Tidus," he said instead, gently. Tidus looked up at him questioningly, seeming to be fully in the now for the first time all day. "Try to get some sleep," he suggested.
Tidus nodded, and obediently lay down stiffly on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He did not attempt to sleep, just remained still, mind numb.
Auron sighed softly, and stretched out on the other bed. He was waiting for the Tidus to go sleep before he attempted it himself, although he knew that Tidus was just waiting for him to fall asleep; only then would he feel safe to cry. So with his practiced ease he feigned sleep after a short while, knowing it would fool Tidus as it had all those years on Zanarkand.
"Unsents don't breath, Auron," Tidus said suddenly into the darkness. "Stop trying."
Auron froze; without thinking he sat up in bed, looking over at Tidus. "What?" He'd been completely taken by surprise. How had Tidus known? He'd always been so careful to never let Tidus figure it out.
But when Tidus spoke, it wasn't to answer him. "I'm going out. Sleeping is pointless." He got out of the bed and made his way across the room, letting himself out into the hall and then into the night silently.
A chocobo was grazing nearby, just outside the inn. He approached it carefully, trying not to startle it. It let him, and he reached out a hand to pet it. The chocobo seemed to appreciate it and let out a squeak.
Tidus wanted to ride it, to wander around the Calm Lands a bit. He knew he'd be safe on the chocobo, the only fiends that bothered to go after chocobos were Chocobo Eaters. "Wanna go exploring?" he asked the bird softly, stroking its fur. It let out another squeak, jumping up in the air a bit, then leaning down so Tidus could climb on its back. Tidus let out a laugh, and got up on the chocobo, letting it carry him where it wished.
* * *
Auron lay there after Tidus left, trying to decide whether or not to go after him. He wanted to find him and demand answers-how had Tidus realized he was unsent? But he also knew that Tidus needed some time alone, and he didn't want to intrude on that. Then again, Tidus had gone out and he hadn't taken the Brotherhood. If he got ambushed by a fiend-
That decided it. He got up and left, stepping out into the night as silently as Tidus had. He was just in time to see Tidus take off somewhere on a chocobo. Slightly relieving, he'd be safe that way. Most likely, anyway. Still, it wouldn't hurt to follow him from a distance.
He set off after them, staying far back enough so that he wouldn't be heard, hoping Tidus wouldn't turn around just yet and notice him. He was surprised when the chocobo headed for the cliff that lead to Remiem Temple; he knew Tidus wasn't leading the chocobo and the wild creatures rarely took humans there on their own.
He was even more surprised to hear Tidus laugh in delight as the chocobo flew down to the lower cliff that led the way into the temple. He hadn't thought Tidus would laugh again for quite a long time. Auron stayed on the cliff above, watching as the chocobo stopped, and Tidus got off, heading down the path that would take him to Remiem Temple. Once Tidus was out of sight, he jumped down to the other cliff, grinning, knowing the others would think him undignified and completely un-Auron if they could see him do this.
* * *
The bridge seemed to go on forever, but it was well worth it, for when Tidus reached the huge temple, all he could do was stare in awe. He approached it slowly, hesitantly, wondering about the air of stillness that hung about the place. What was a magnificent temple like this doing hidden way back in the Calm Lands? He was glad the chocobo had led him here, it was nice and peaceful.
It was also pretty cool.
Tidus wandered around the outer edges of the place for a bit, not quite daring to go in. He didn't know that he'd be able to anyway, there were some kind of marks carved on the doors that were probably seals, and he didn't want to try his luck.
"Man, what is this place?" he said to himself.
"Remiem Temple," a voice answered him, and he jumped. Turning around, he saw Auron standing some feet behind him. Tidus groaned. He couldn't go anywhere without Auron stalking him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, sulking a bit. All he wanted was to just be alone. He'd been perfectly okay by himself, but then Auron had to come along, and seeing him suddenly reminded him all over again of the memories he'd been trying to repress, and he felt a slight resentment towards the older man.
"I followed you," Auron replied, sounding completely unrepentant.
"Yeah, I can see that. Why?"
"You didn't take your sword."
"Oh for goodness sake!" Tidus snarled at him, angry and annoyed.
"And... I was worried," Auron admitted. Tidus softened a bit at that, he rarely heard Auron say such a thing.
Still... "You shouldn't have followed me."
Auron just grunted at that, and dismissed the subject. "Why did you make that remark about being unsent?"
"Oh, what, you're going to deny it?" Tidus asked him, hoping that Auron would do just that. He wanted what Seymour had told him to be all just a lie. Because if it was, then maybe what Seymour had done to him could be just a lie too. He clung tightly to that strange little bit of logic, it was all he had.
"No, because there is no point in denying it," Auron said. Tidus felt that cold, hollow feeling he'd gotten when Seymour had told him Auron was unsent begin to spread throughout his body again. He had hoped so much that it wasn't true, that Seymour had only been saying that as part of his attempt to break him. But it wasn't so.
"So it's true then," Tidus whispered defeatedly. "Seymour wasn't lying..."
"Seymour." Auron's fists tightened. "I should have known."
Tidus stared off into the distance, and Auron wondered if he'd retreated back inside his mind again, so he wouldn't have to face the reality around him. But Tidus spoke then, so he knew he was still in the present. "He said... he said I should pretend he was you if I wished... that it wouldn't be any different. So I told him you weren't dead." Tidus' voice sounded very far away as he talked. Auron was pretty sure he was reliving the memories, not just talking aout them.
"Then... then he said you were unsent, he'd known it the moment he'd seen you. And I remembered all the things, and they all made sense, but still... I had hoped he was lying. I wanted him to be lying. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want you to be unsent. I didn't want you to be dead. It would mean you had been dead all those years, fooling me, lying to me." He paused, lost in thought. "He called me beautiful, and he kissed me... I went away after that. I went away until he made me come back, but I didn't feel anything by then... so I just went away again. I was away for a long time, I think."
Auron stood there and listened to him, not knowing what to say, knowing whatever he said would be of little comfort. He felt he had betrayed Tidus and Jecht both, and he didn't know what to do. He felt the same sort of helplessness he'd felt all those years ago, standing with Braska and Jecht before Yunalesca's chambers, and learning the horrible truth about the Final Aeon, about Sin. It was not a pleasant feeling, and one he tried to avoid often. "Tidus-" he started to say.
The blond interrupted him. "I didn't want it, Auron," he said. "Please... I didn't want it. But he would have killed you and the others if I didn't... you understand, right?"
"It's okay," Auron tried to reassure him. "I know... It wasn't your fault, Tidus."
"Feels like it," Tidus said, and all of a sudden he found he was crying, taking the both of them by surprise. He tried to stop, knowing he was being the crybaby Jecht always called him, but the tears just kept coming, no matter how often he wiped them away.
Auron decided he didn't give a damn how much Tidus shied away from his touch. He went over to Tidus and pulled him close, holding him against him. He tried to relax himself, knowing he was tense all over at the contact, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feelings, and the other, more complicated feelings he got from having Tidus near.
Tidus struggled for a few startled moments under Auron's embrace, but then he gave in and accepted it. Besides, it was kind of nice, just being held by Auron. Auron wasn't going to hurt him, and it was somewhat comforting to know Auron cared that much. He knew how uncomfortable physical contact of any sort always made the older man.
Neither of them knew how long they stood that way, but Tidus' tears had long dried on his cheeks by the time either of them dared to speak. "I'm tired, Auron..."
Auron chuckled. "We should go back anyways."
"I don't want to walk, though..."
"I'll carry you." It made Tidus smile, reminding him of all the times when he'd been little and fallen asleep outside practicing blitzball. Auron had never bothered to wake him up, he'd just pick Tidus up and carry him into bed. It felt like that now.
"I'm heavy," Tidus warned him. "Don't break your back now, old man." It was the closest to being his old self that he'd gotten since Seymour had broken him.
Auron smirked at him before hefting him up easily in his arms. He carried him back across the bridge and up the path, relieved to see the chocobo still waiting on Tidus. He could have done it, but he really hadn't been looking forward to carrying Tidus all that distance. It would have taken them all night.
The chocobo squeaked at seeing them, and Auron put Tidus on its back before climbing on himself, leaning Tidus back against him and wrapping his arms around the blond so he wouldn't fall off.
The chocobo took off once they were settled, going much faster this time across the Calm Lands, taking them back to the travel agency. They reached it in just under half an hour. Tidus had already fallen asleep. Auron was careful not to wake him as the chocobo let them off, wandering back off to graze again. He carried the blond in his arms back to their room, setting him down on the bed. Tidus stirred and opened his eyes sleepily, looking up at Auron. "Don't tell the others," he mumbled somewhat inanely.
"I wasn't going to," Auron promised him.
"Good," he breathed. Auron started to go over to his own bed, but a tug on his sleeve stopped him. He looked back. "Stay," Tidus pleaded. "Stay with me."
* * *
Tidus woke the next morning looking a lot more cheerful than he had in awhile. He still wasn't quite himself, Auron could tell, but last night had done him a lot of good. If Auron had worried there'd be regrets, he had no doubts now. Regrets did not fit into this new relationship at all.
"Auron?" Tidus asked him. Auron was currently running his fingers through Tidus' hair, and Tidus was quite content to let him.
"Mhmm," Auron murmured, indicating he'd heard Tidus.
"Do we have to leave today, so soon? Can't we stay just a bit longer?"
"That's up to Yuna."
Tidus sighed. "She'll want to continue, of course. She's so determined. It's not fair. I already have so little time left with you..."
Tidus was right of course. Yuna saw no reason to remain another day at the travel agency. She wanted to press on towards Mt. Gagazet, it was still a two day's journey away, and she did not want time to be wasted. Tidus thought briefly about acting the way he had yesterday, they might be more willing to stay then, but he knew it was really no use. Everyone had already seen he was somewhat better today, both Rikku and Wakka had even remarked on it. They hadn't asked what had been wrong though, and Tidus was glad.
Short of flat-out beggging, there was no way Tidus would get Yuna to stay another day. And he had damned enough of begging already.
Watching the others as they restocked on supplies ("should we buy some holy water, do you think?" "how many potions do we have left?" "do you think we have too many eye drops?" Yuna was decisive in every thing but supplies, Tidus often thought), he felt a bit sad. No one had to tell him the journey was nearing the end, he could sense it in the emotions of the others. He did not want the journey to end. It may bring happiness to Spira, but it'll only bring us more sorrow, he thought. For their journey's end would mean Yuna's death, and quite likely Auron's sending as well. He did not know what would become of him. All he knew was that he couldn't get back to Zanarkand. He'd given up hope on that long ago. Perhaps he should have begged Seymour to kill him, then. Then he could have gone to the Farplane with Auron when it was all over, and they would have had eternity to spend together, instead of just a week.
It wasn't fair. But then, life never was. He sighed as Wakka, Rikku, and Yuna continued to argue over restock supplies, and headed out of the travel agency to find Auron. He had to cram a lifetime of living with Auron into one week. But perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
sequel
[Final Fantasy X] M+, angst/hurt/comfort, 5500 words, published 01-26-05, rape
I mean, I think everyone in FFX fandom has to write one of these. It's a rite of passage, right? Break
butterflie When Tidus had decided some weeks back to follow Auron on Yuna's pilgrimage, he had never quite imagined that decision would cause him to end up trapped with said man in a bird cage hanging over a high bridge, branded forever as a traitor to Yevon. But here he was, and there Auron was, and they were hanging alone together in a prison in Bevelle. Tidus thought perhaps next time he'd think twice before making such decisions again.
Of course, thinking such thoughts wouldn't do him any good now, he didn't see any way out of their current situation short of suicide. And he doubted even suicide was possible, unless perhaps he took Auron's jug and bashed himself repeatedly in the head with it. Though that would probably just land him with a mild concussion and one hell of a headache. He snickered slightly at the thought.
"I fail to see anything funny about the situation," Auron remarked dryly. Tidus merely grinned at him, resolutely ignoring the feelings Auron evoked in him every time he chanced to look at the older man.
"Man, this is boo-ooring," Tidus whined eventually. "Come on, when's something going to happen? I want out!" No sooner had he spoke this when Maester Kinoc appeared, walking up to the cage where they hung suspended over the water.
"I suppose it's time for our execution?" Auron asked sarcastically.
Kinoc looked offended. "Indeed not. Maester Seymour has business he would like to discuss with the boy, here."
"With me?" Tidus looked confused, and looked to Auron for answers, as if Auron would have any way of knowing why Seymour wanted to see him. But of course the older man had none to give, and Tidus felt more lost than ever. What could Seymour possibly want with him? And what did it matter, wasn't the plan for Seymour to kill them all anyway?
"Yes." Kinoc freed Tidus from the cage, helping him on to the highbridge carefully so he would not fall and plummet to his death in the frigid water below. "Come along now, Maester Seymour does not like to be kept waiting."
Helplessly, Tidus allowed himself to be led, twisting his head to gaze back at Auron, hoping it wouldn't be the last time he'd ever see the man. He did not want to end up alone in Spira. That would be the worst thing of all.
* * *
"Ah, Son of Jecht, welcome. Please, have a seat."
Tidus glared at Seymour. "I wouldn't touch your chairs if my life depended on it," he said rudely, conveniently forgetting the fact that his life did, indeed, depend on it.
Seymour just chuckled gently however, amused at the blond teenager. "Oh, but I insist. I would not want word to get around that I was... inhospitable to my guests."
"Don't you mean your prisoners?" Tidus shot back. "And if you were going for hospitable, I must inform you that you failed that a long while back."
Seymour merely seemed even more amused. He reached out and pushed Tidus down into a chair, gently, before moving to stand behind it. Tidus shuddered at the icy touch of Seymour's unsent fingers against his skin. "My sincerest apologies," he murmured into Tidus' ear, causing another shudder to run throughout the blond. He disliked having Seymour so near.
"What do you want, Seymour?" he asked, hoping to get whatever this was about over with quickly. He was anxious to get back to Auron. He was worried about him, though he didn't quite know why. Auron could take care of himself.
He watched warily as Seymour straightened and came back around to stand once again in front of Tidus, looking down at him. He almost seemed to be... appraising him. Inspecting him. For what, Tidus didn't know. He didn't see the point of this little meeting.
"What I want, Son of Jecht, is you."
"Huh?" Tidus frowned, not catching the half-Guado's meaning. He'd probably just misheard him; his mind wasn't entirely focused in this office. Half of it was still back in the cage, worrying about his guardian.
"I want you, Son of Jecht," Seymour repeated, grasping the boy's chin and tilting it so Tidus was forced to look at his face, into his eyes. "I want to be inside of you, stretching you, filling you with me.." He trailed off, smiling delightedly to himself as understanding dawned in Tidus; the blond's eyes got wide, his face taking on a slightly disgusted and horrified expression.
"You're sick!" Tidus exclaimed, shoving Seymour away from him without really thinking about what he was doing. "You're a freak!"
Seymour's eyes narrowed, his face hardened. "I do not think it so wise to insult me," he said softly, a threatening note quite present in the tone of his voice. "I could have all your friends killed with one simple command."
Tidus swallowed, and turned from Seymour. "I... I don't want it..." he tried weakly, knowing what little good it would do.
"Ah, but I do." He laughed, a chilling sound much unlike his gentle chuckle of before.
"Yeah, but... you're dead..." Another attempt, just as useless as the first.
"What of it? If you like, pretend I am that warrior monk of yours you seem so taken with. It is no different."
"It's plenty different!" Tidus snapped. "He isn't dead, for one thing!" The fact that Seymour had noticed his feelings for Auron escaped him completely.
Seymour only laughed at that, and there was something in his laugh that made Tidus feel less certain about Auron than he was a second ago. "He's not... I -I would have known... I.."
"Son of Jecht, Sir Auron is no more alive than I am. I could sense that the first time I laid eyes on him."
A numb feeling began spreading slowly throughout Tidus' body at Seymour's words. He suddenly remembered Seymour saying, back in Guadosalam, 'We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane'. And how Auron had refused to follow them into the Farplane, saying he did not belong there... the way he'd collapsed to his knees, grasping at his chest as Yuna had re-sent Lord Jyscal. It all made a sickening sort of sense, now that he put all the pieces together. He let out a wild little laugh. Auron was an unsent. Just like half of Spira seemed to be. What kind of world had Jecht brought him to, anyway?
Seymour watched him patiently as he worked it out in his mind. He seemed content to wait Tidus out, as if he had all the time in the world. Perhaps he did. If Auron could remain unsent for ten years, there was plenty of time ahead for Seymour, as long as there was no one around to send him. "Now, what of it?" he asked the teenager mildly. "Are you willing to give yourself to me?"
This seemed to bring Tidus out of his thoughts. "No way!" He made a face. "I'm not crazy!"
"No," Seymour agreed. 'Not crazy. Just very unwise... I shall just have to take what I want then," and he reached out his hand, lightly trailing his fingers down the boy's cheek. "It will give me such a pleasure to break you..."
Tidus had to resist the urge to slap his hand away. Instead, he sat very still, trying to think of a way to get out of this. Seymour sensed the thoughts running through his mind, and smiled knowingly. "Remember, your companions lives are in my hands... It would be stupid to resist." He leaned in to capture Tidus' lips under his own, forcibly shoving his tongue in Tidus' mouth, though Tidus tried his hardest to stop it. Briefly he thought about biting down hard on that cold tongue, but figured that would just be even more stupid. What could he do, how could he get out of this? He didn't want it... didn't want what he knew would happen if he did not stop it soon.
But then... there was everyone else to think about. If he did not let Seymour take what he wanted, then... Seymour would kill them. Of course, he still could kill them anyway, but at least there could be a chance he'd let them live, if only Tidus would let him do this.
But I don't want it, he thought numbly. I don't want it... Auron...
Why was Seymour doing this? What could he possibly want with him? Was it simply just to have the pleasure of trying to break him, as Seymour said? Or was there more to it? Tidus didn't really want to know. Didn't really want to think about it, about any of it. Otherwise Seymour might end up breaking him before he ever even got started.
Seymour's hands were now fumbling at his clothes, deftly undoing the few snaps. Tidus squirmed, knowing that if Seymour succeeded in getting his clothes off it would be all over. There would be no chance of wriggling out of this if he lost his clothes.
The straps fell back off his shoulders; Seymour removed his yellow shirt then lifted him up, carrying him over to his desk. He carelessly shoved aside various papers, ignoring them as they fluttered to the floor in disarray. He lay a struggling Tidus down on the desk and quickly removed the last of his clothes.
Tidus could feel his cheeks burning with shame as he lay naked on Seymour's desk. Instinctively he curled up, knees tucked up against his chest in a fetal position, trying to shield himself and retain what little dignity he felt he had left.
"You are so beautiful," Seymour whispered, removing his own robes as well. "Please, there is no need to cover yourself up. Do not be ashamed."
Tidus could feel tears welling up in his eyes, but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. "Seymour... I do not want this," he begged the maester. "Please..."
Seymour appeared not to have heard him, he climbed on top of his desk and gently lowered his body over Tidus', leaning down in to kiss him once more.
Tidus squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to will himself away from this place, away from the awful reality of what was happening. He told himself to think of other things, of Zanarkand, and of Auron. Pleasant thoughts and memories. He managed to make this work quite well, retreating inside his mind as if it was a shell designed to protect him from the horrors of the world.
The illusion was shattered when he felt Seymour inside him, filling him as promised.
He let out a half-choked scream, a sort of strangled sob, jerked painfully back to the present, all too aware once again of what was happening to him. He finally allowed his tears to fall, unable to hold them back any longer, not really wanting to anymore. He wanted Auron, wanted the older man desperately. And yet, at the same time, he didn't want Auron, not wanting to face him after he was made to be so tainted like this. If Auron saw him, he would know, and then he wouldn't want to be around Tidus anymore. Tidus didn't know that he could handle that rejection.
Wildly he thought, If Jecht were here he'd call me a crybaby. A hysterical laugh bubbled up out of him at that. Seymour didn't notice.
It felt like an eternity, Seymour inside of him, his thrusts sharp and painful. It was as if someone had stuck a knife up inside Tidus, and twist, over and over until he was raw and bleeding and so numb from the pain that he barely felt it anymore. He no longer cared anymore. His struggles had ceased long ago. Now he was just waiting. Waiting for it to be over, waiting for Seymour to finish, waiting to be allowed to go back to his cage again, waiting for the chance to escape back inside his mind again.
Dimly he was aware of Seymour's body suddenly shuddering, his fingers digging tightly into Tidus' thighs as his orgasm overtook him, seed spilling inside Tidus. Then Seymour was gone from him. It was over. He could retreat back inside his mind again, and that he did.
He wasn't aware of Seymour carelessly dressing him again, nor did he notice when a Guado guard magically materialized and led him back to the cage he'd shared with Auron, tossing him inside and locking him back up. He slumped down against the bars, his mind still pleasantly floating far away somewhere in a blitzball tournament on Zanarkand.
"Tidus?" Auron asked uncertainly, a bit put out.
Tidus looked up then, for the first time noticing he was no longer with Seymour. Auron was focusing his amber eye down on the blond, looking a bit concerned but still mostly impassive; he didn't know what to make of the teenager. The weight of Auron's gaze was heavy upon him, and he turned his head away, choosing instead to look out over Bevelle. He wondered where Yuna and the others were, if they were alright.
"What did Seymour want?" Auron asked him, for once at a loss for words or what to do next.
To the surprise of both them, Tidus let out a loud, hysterical laugh. And then another, and another, until he was no longer laughing but sobbing, hiding his face in his knees, too ashamed to face Auron anymore. I'm sorry, Auron...
Heavy footsteps approached him; he looked up briefly to see that Auron was kneeling down next to him. He reached out a hand to put on the boy's shoulder, but Tidus flinched and shrank away from his touch, not even bothering to seem apologetic about it.
Auron paused, and took his hand back, intently studying Tidus for a moment. Tidus felt the scrutiny, and looked at his face for the first time, their eyes meeting. Tidus couldn't bear it, he had to turn away again. But that one look was all Auron needed, suddenly he just knew. He felt himself growing angry, though he willed that anger not to show. Tidus might mistake it as anger directed at him. That would not be help improve the situation at all.
Though, as things currently stood, the situation was looking pretty bleak.
* * *
Some days later found the group of seven standing outside the small travel agency in the central area of the Calm Lands, counting the meager amount of gil they currently had. Most of it had been taken when they'd been captured at Bevelle; there had been little time to earn it all back.
At last they decided they had enough so that the men could double two to a room. The women were able to get away with sharing just one. Auron knew Tidus wished for a room to himself; but he was loathe to leave the teen to brood alone so he doubled them together. He expected a fuss from Tidus at this, but Tidus only nodded, acquiescing too easily. It left Auron with a sense of disquiet, a feeling that was normally foreign to him. Things weren't the same anymore.
No one bothered to stay up once they got their rooms, the trek across the Calm Lands throughout the day had been tiring, the fiends tough and plenty in number. And Tidus hadn't fought with them once, causing the others to need to overcompensate to make up for his loss. It left them struggling quite a few times against those fiends that were agile and quick-footed, no one was as apt at handling them as Tidus had been. But he didn't even seem to expect to fight with them, choosing instead to trail along quietly behind them, not speaking even when any of them tried to speak to him.
They all noticed that something was wrong of course-it was impossible not to. Tidus hadn't been his cheerful, energetic self since they'd all escaped from Bevelle, and it was easy to see. But any attempts at conversation with the blond elicited absolutely no results for anyone, not even Auron. The others all wanted to know what was wrong. But no one dared ask Tidus outright-they knew he wouldn't tell them anyway, if even he heard them. Yuna had asked Auron once, when Tidus wasn't near enough to hear her. But Auron had merely shaken his head at her, knowing Tidus would never forgive him if he told the others.
But the two were alone again now, maybe Tidus would feel okay enough to open up and talk about it some. Not that Auron was eager to hear. Rather, it made him sick to think about it. But if it did Tidus good... He'd listen. He'd listen, knowing it would make him feel worse, knowing he had failed in his promise to Jecht but no longer able to do anything about it. He only hoped Jecht would never find out.
The two headed to their room in silence, Tidus nodding vacantly as the others bade him good night. Auron doubted he even really heard their words. Once they got there, the door shut behind them, Tidus halted. He looked around him unsure, a look of such confusion upon his face that Auron's heart went out to him. The others could accuse him of being a stoic stick-in-the-mud all they wanted, Auron knew it wasn't always best to keep your emotions so open.
"Where are we?" Tidus asked then. Auron tried not to let his surprise show.
"We're in the Calm Lands, in what's often referred to as the Central Area. We're staying overnight here," he replied.
He got a frown in return for his answer. "How'd we get here?"
"We walked all day across the plains," Auron told him, a bit uneasily.
"Oh." Tidus hadn't noticed, couldn't recall it at all. He'd been busy tidying his houseboat and practicing his blitz shots most of the day. A couple of times he'd been busy struggling under Seymour, though he shied away from those memories in a hurry. Slowly he started walking over to one of the beds, and absently sat down on it. "I should sleep, huh?"
"That would be wise."
Tidus flinched, hearing a voice in his head. Just very unwise... Seymour's voice said. He moaned, and put his hands to his ears, trying to block the memories out.
Auron watched him, knowing he'd said the wrong thing, not knowing how to take it back. He didn't try to approach Tidus, he didn't know that he could handle seeing the boy cringe away from him again. "Tidus," he said instead, gently. Tidus looked up at him questioningly, seeming to be fully in the now for the first time all day. "Try to get some sleep," he suggested.
Tidus nodded, and obediently lay down stiffly on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. He did not attempt to sleep, just remained still, mind numb.
Auron sighed softly, and stretched out on the other bed. He was waiting for the Tidus to go sleep before he attempted it himself, although he knew that Tidus was just waiting for him to fall asleep; only then would he feel safe to cry. So with his practiced ease he feigned sleep after a short while, knowing it would fool Tidus as it had all those years on Zanarkand.
"Unsents don't breath, Auron," Tidus said suddenly into the darkness. "Stop trying."
Auron froze; without thinking he sat up in bed, looking over at Tidus. "What?" He'd been completely taken by surprise. How had Tidus known? He'd always been so careful to never let Tidus figure it out.
But when Tidus spoke, it wasn't to answer him. "I'm going out. Sleeping is pointless." He got out of the bed and made his way across the room, letting himself out into the hall and then into the night silently.
A chocobo was grazing nearby, just outside the inn. He approached it carefully, trying not to startle it. It let him, and he reached out a hand to pet it. The chocobo seemed to appreciate it and let out a squeak.
Tidus wanted to ride it, to wander around the Calm Lands a bit. He knew he'd be safe on the chocobo, the only fiends that bothered to go after chocobos were Chocobo Eaters. "Wanna go exploring?" he asked the bird softly, stroking its fur. It let out another squeak, jumping up in the air a bit, then leaning down so Tidus could climb on its back. Tidus let out a laugh, and got up on the chocobo, letting it carry him where it wished.
* * *
Auron lay there after Tidus left, trying to decide whether or not to go after him. He wanted to find him and demand answers-how had Tidus realized he was unsent? But he also knew that Tidus needed some time alone, and he didn't want to intrude on that. Then again, Tidus had gone out and he hadn't taken the Brotherhood. If he got ambushed by a fiend-
That decided it. He got up and left, stepping out into the night as silently as Tidus had. He was just in time to see Tidus take off somewhere on a chocobo. Slightly relieving, he'd be safe that way. Most likely, anyway. Still, it wouldn't hurt to follow him from a distance.
He set off after them, staying far back enough so that he wouldn't be heard, hoping Tidus wouldn't turn around just yet and notice him. He was surprised when the chocobo headed for the cliff that lead to Remiem Temple; he knew Tidus wasn't leading the chocobo and the wild creatures rarely took humans there on their own.
He was even more surprised to hear Tidus laugh in delight as the chocobo flew down to the lower cliff that led the way into the temple. He hadn't thought Tidus would laugh again for quite a long time. Auron stayed on the cliff above, watching as the chocobo stopped, and Tidus got off, heading down the path that would take him to Remiem Temple. Once Tidus was out of sight, he jumped down to the other cliff, grinning, knowing the others would think him undignified and completely un-Auron if they could see him do this.
* * *
The bridge seemed to go on forever, but it was well worth it, for when Tidus reached the huge temple, all he could do was stare in awe. He approached it slowly, hesitantly, wondering about the air of stillness that hung about the place. What was a magnificent temple like this doing hidden way back in the Calm Lands? He was glad the chocobo had led him here, it was nice and peaceful.
It was also pretty cool.
Tidus wandered around the outer edges of the place for a bit, not quite daring to go in. He didn't know that he'd be able to anyway, there were some kind of marks carved on the doors that were probably seals, and he didn't want to try his luck.
"Man, what is this place?" he said to himself.
"Remiem Temple," a voice answered him, and he jumped. Turning around, he saw Auron standing some feet behind him. Tidus groaned. He couldn't go anywhere without Auron stalking him.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, sulking a bit. All he wanted was to just be alone. He'd been perfectly okay by himself, but then Auron had to come along, and seeing him suddenly reminded him all over again of the memories he'd been trying to repress, and he felt a slight resentment towards the older man.
"I followed you," Auron replied, sounding completely unrepentant.
"Yeah, I can see that. Why?"
"You didn't take your sword."
"Oh for goodness sake!" Tidus snarled at him, angry and annoyed.
"And... I was worried," Auron admitted. Tidus softened a bit at that, he rarely heard Auron say such a thing.
Still... "You shouldn't have followed me."
Auron just grunted at that, and dismissed the subject. "Why did you make that remark about being unsent?"
"Oh, what, you're going to deny it?" Tidus asked him, hoping that Auron would do just that. He wanted what Seymour had told him to be all just a lie. Because if it was, then maybe what Seymour had done to him could be just a lie too. He clung tightly to that strange little bit of logic, it was all he had.
"No, because there is no point in denying it," Auron said. Tidus felt that cold, hollow feeling he'd gotten when Seymour had told him Auron was unsent begin to spread throughout his body again. He had hoped so much that it wasn't true, that Seymour had only been saying that as part of his attempt to break him. But it wasn't so.
"So it's true then," Tidus whispered defeatedly. "Seymour wasn't lying..."
"Seymour." Auron's fists tightened. "I should have known."
Tidus stared off into the distance, and Auron wondered if he'd retreated back inside his mind again, so he wouldn't have to face the reality around him. But Tidus spoke then, so he knew he was still in the present. "He said... he said I should pretend he was you if I wished... that it wouldn't be any different. So I told him you weren't dead." Tidus' voice sounded very far away as he talked. Auron was pretty sure he was reliving the memories, not just talking aout them.
"Then... then he said you were unsent, he'd known it the moment he'd seen you. And I remembered all the things, and they all made sense, but still... I had hoped he was lying. I wanted him to be lying. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want you to be unsent. I didn't want you to be dead. It would mean you had been dead all those years, fooling me, lying to me." He paused, lost in thought. "He called me beautiful, and he kissed me... I went away after that. I went away until he made me come back, but I didn't feel anything by then... so I just went away again. I was away for a long time, I think."
Auron stood there and listened to him, not knowing what to say, knowing whatever he said would be of little comfort. He felt he had betrayed Tidus and Jecht both, and he didn't know what to do. He felt the same sort of helplessness he'd felt all those years ago, standing with Braska and Jecht before Yunalesca's chambers, and learning the horrible truth about the Final Aeon, about Sin. It was not a pleasant feeling, and one he tried to avoid often. "Tidus-" he started to say.
The blond interrupted him. "I didn't want it, Auron," he said. "Please... I didn't want it. But he would have killed you and the others if I didn't... you understand, right?"
"It's okay," Auron tried to reassure him. "I know... It wasn't your fault, Tidus."
"Feels like it," Tidus said, and all of a sudden he found he was crying, taking the both of them by surprise. He tried to stop, knowing he was being the crybaby Jecht always called him, but the tears just kept coming, no matter how often he wiped them away.
Auron decided he didn't give a damn how much Tidus shied away from his touch. He went over to Tidus and pulled him close, holding him against him. He tried to relax himself, knowing he was tense all over at the contact, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feelings, and the other, more complicated feelings he got from having Tidus near.
Tidus struggled for a few startled moments under Auron's embrace, but then he gave in and accepted it. Besides, it was kind of nice, just being held by Auron. Auron wasn't going to hurt him, and it was somewhat comforting to know Auron cared that much. He knew how uncomfortable physical contact of any sort always made the older man.
Neither of them knew how long they stood that way, but Tidus' tears had long dried on his cheeks by the time either of them dared to speak. "I'm tired, Auron..."
Auron chuckled. "We should go back anyways."
"I don't want to walk, though..."
"I'll carry you." It made Tidus smile, reminding him of all the times when he'd been little and fallen asleep outside practicing blitzball. Auron had never bothered to wake him up, he'd just pick Tidus up and carry him into bed. It felt like that now.
"I'm heavy," Tidus warned him. "Don't break your back now, old man." It was the closest to being his old self that he'd gotten since Seymour had broken him.
Auron smirked at him before hefting him up easily in his arms. He carried him back across the bridge and up the path, relieved to see the chocobo still waiting on Tidus. He could have done it, but he really hadn't been looking forward to carrying Tidus all that distance. It would have taken them all night.
The chocobo squeaked at seeing them, and Auron put Tidus on its back before climbing on himself, leaning Tidus back against him and wrapping his arms around the blond so he wouldn't fall off.
The chocobo took off once they were settled, going much faster this time across the Calm Lands, taking them back to the travel agency. They reached it in just under half an hour. Tidus had already fallen asleep. Auron was careful not to wake him as the chocobo let them off, wandering back off to graze again. He carried the blond in his arms back to their room, setting him down on the bed. Tidus stirred and opened his eyes sleepily, looking up at Auron. "Don't tell the others," he mumbled somewhat inanely.
"I wasn't going to," Auron promised him.
"Good," he breathed. Auron started to go over to his own bed, but a tug on his sleeve stopped him. He looked back. "Stay," Tidus pleaded. "Stay with me."
* * *
Tidus woke the next morning looking a lot more cheerful than he had in awhile. He still wasn't quite himself, Auron could tell, but last night had done him a lot of good. If Auron had worried there'd be regrets, he had no doubts now. Regrets did not fit into this new relationship at all.
"Auron?" Tidus asked him. Auron was currently running his fingers through Tidus' hair, and Tidus was quite content to let him.
"Mhmm," Auron murmured, indicating he'd heard Tidus.
"Do we have to leave today, so soon? Can't we stay just a bit longer?"
"That's up to Yuna."
Tidus sighed. "She'll want to continue, of course. She's so determined. It's not fair. I already have so little time left with you..."
Tidus was right of course. Yuna saw no reason to remain another day at the travel agency. She wanted to press on towards Mt. Gagazet, it was still a two day's journey away, and she did not want time to be wasted. Tidus thought briefly about acting the way he had yesterday, they might be more willing to stay then, but he knew it was really no use. Everyone had already seen he was somewhat better today, both Rikku and Wakka had even remarked on it. They hadn't asked what had been wrong though, and Tidus was glad.
Short of flat-out beggging, there was no way Tidus would get Yuna to stay another day. And he had damned enough of begging already.
Watching the others as they restocked on supplies ("should we buy some holy water, do you think?" "how many potions do we have left?" "do you think we have too many eye drops?" Yuna was decisive in every thing but supplies, Tidus often thought), he felt a bit sad. No one had to tell him the journey was nearing the end, he could sense it in the emotions of the others. He did not want the journey to end. It may bring happiness to Spira, but it'll only bring us more sorrow, he thought. For their journey's end would mean Yuna's death, and quite likely Auron's sending as well. He did not know what would become of him. All he knew was that he couldn't get back to Zanarkand. He'd given up hope on that long ago. Perhaps he should have begged Seymour to kill him, then. Then he could have gone to the Farplane with Auron when it was all over, and they would have had eternity to spend together, instead of just a week.
It wasn't fair. But then, life never was. He sighed as Wakka, Rikku, and Yuna continued to argue over restock supplies, and headed out of the travel agency to find Auron. He had to cram a lifetime of living with Auron into one week. But perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.
sequel