Further, Chapter 2
Sequel to Break. Seymour comes across Tidus traveling through Mt. Gagazet and decides to take what he sees as rightfully his. Seymour/Tidus, Auron/Tidus, spoilers.
[Final Fantasy X] M+, angst/romance/hurt/comfort, 1771 (3570) words, published 02-03-05, rape
previous chapter Further
butterflie
[chapter two ~ fall apart]
He couldn't believe Seymour had taken him. In more ways than one, now that he thought about it. But he was mostly only thinking in the literal sense.
Seymour had knocked him on the head damned hard back on Mt. Gagazet, and Tidus had slid ungracefully into unconsciousness, thankfully not serious enough to require a phoenix down, though he had no doubt Seymour would have used one if necessary.
He'd came to in what he recognized as Guadosalam. He had one hell of a headache, but the absolute terror he felt from being in Seymour's presence overrode that pain.
He didn't want to be near Seymour at all. The memory of what Seymour had done to him last time was still all too fresh. He could still feel Seymour's mouth pressing down on his, Seymour's tongue shoving its way into his resisting mouth. Could feel Seymour's cold hands caressing his skin, undressing him, carrying him to the desk. Could still remember the weight of Seymour's body as it settled against his. Could still feel Seymour inside him... Those feelings had never left him, though Seymour had left him physically long ago. Even that night with Auron, it had been mostly Seymour he'd felt.
He hated it. Hated that he'd let Seymour do that to him. Seymour had broken him, and he knew it. He should have tried harder to stop it, or something. Or perhaps he should have let himself die, down there in Via Purifico. Sure, it was a lame way to kill someone, but Evrae had come back, hadn't it? Why had Rikku and Wakka killed it so easily? He should have moved to let Evrae attack him, instead of just floating there in the water, barely aware of what was around him.
But no. Despite it all, he'd wanted to live. Because the look Auron had given him in the cage, after one of Seymour's guards had brought him back... that look had made it worth living for. It was just a brief glance, but it had been enough. Tidus had known then; what Seymour had done to him didn't lower him in the older man's eyes. He'd simply accepted it, and accepted Tidus. Tidus had never loved him more than in that moment.
And Auron had understood too, that it hadn't been his fault. That, as much as Tidus denied it to himself, there really hadn't been anything else he could have done to save him... unless he wanted Auron and the others to get killed. And he had a suspicion that even had Seymour killed them all right then, Seymour still would have taken what he wanted from Tidus. He loved that about Auron completely, that the man could understand Tidus without his hardly having to say a word.
The night they'd shared had been... not incredible, or wonderful, or anything like that, but it had been something. Though he was reminded of Seymour every time Auron kissed him or touched him, he resolutely ignored that, instead forcing himself to focus on Auron. And for awhile it had worked. It had just been him and Auron in that bed, touching, exploring, caressing.
Then Auron had been inside him, and the memory of Seymour had come slamming back. He'd almost screamed out loud, but managed to choke it down just in time, knowing it was Auron with him and not wanting to scare him. It hadn't hardly mattered, his body had tensed and Auron had known what was wrong anyways. He'd done his best to soothe Tidus, lousy at comfort as usual, but he appreciated the gesture more than he would have if Auron had known exactly how to comfort Tidus. And really, once he'd calmed down and gotten used to Auron, it hadn't been so bad. Auron hadn't been rough, for one thing. And Tidus wanted it. That made a big difference.
Except now...
It doesn't matter now, Tidus thought, unaware he was echoing Auron's words. Seymour had him, had decided to take what he saw as his, and Tidus would have been stupid if he hadn't realized what sort of thing Seymour had in mind for him.
The question was, how soon? And for how long? Where was he even at, and were the others coming after him? He wanted to believe, had to believe, that Auron would come after him, even if Yuna decided to continue on her journey. There was no way Auron would leave him with Seymour. The others didn't know what had happened to him, what Seymour had done, but Auron did. Auron knew, and he'd understood. But how long would it take Auron to find him? If he had the airship, he could go anywhere. But Cid had flown off after letting them out in Bevelle, and wasn't supposed to meet up with them until they were in Zanarkand...
They were supposed to be in Zanarkand by now, actually. But he'd ended up panicking and throwing such a fit to Auron later on about leaving the Calm Lands that Auron had quietly gone and asked Yuna to stay just a few more days. So they were behind, and traveling through Mt. Gagazet had taken more time than they'd expected. Tidus knew that was his fault, but what did they expect, he didn't belong in Spira, it only made sense that he would get lost. It had been bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
So they'd been behind. And then Seymour had shown up, and now he was alone in Guadosalam. He assumed Seymour wasn't staying, it'd be way too obvious. But where would he take Tidus next? He hoped Macalania Temple, but he thought that might be rather obvious too, and too close for Auron to reach within the next week. Or maybe the plan was to just stay moving, stay ahead of Auron so the warrior monk could never catch up to them. Which meant he would have to find a way to escape if that happened.
It wasn't fair. This was not what he wanted. Any of it. Things had just downright sucked ever since Auron let him be swallowed up by Sin; why had Auron wanted him to come here? He said it was what Jecht wanted, but why did Auron always have to do what Jecht wanted? Couldn't the man ever think for himself?
He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere just thinking on things. He looked around, trying to figure out exactly where he was. Guadosalam, he knew, but where in Guadosalam? On a bed in a room, apparently. Probably Seymour's room. Seymour's bed. The thought made him shudder. He decided not to think about that.
Of course, he didn't have to; the doorknob rattled and then Seymour was walking in. He smiled as he saw Tidus awake, blinking and looking around with a slightly confused look on his face.
"Ah, son of Jecht, you're awake I see."
"Where... where am I?" Tidus asked, embarrassed to find his voice croaking slightly.
"In Guadosalam, of course."
"No... I mean, this-" Tidus tried to gesture around the room, and was shocked to find his wrists tied to the posts of the headboard.
Seymour smiled indulgently. "My chambers," he said, a bit shortly.
"And do you always tie up your guests in bed?" Tidus asked dryly, then immediately regretted it. He didn't want Seymour getting ideas, though Seymour probably already had too many, and none that would be good for Tidus.
"Only you, Son of Jecht. I could not take a chance you would ...let's say, leave before I was ready to see you off. After all, I have so many wonderful plans for the two of us."
Tidus tried to give a little indignant snort at that, but found Seymour's words had scared him too much to sound insulted. It didn't matter anyways; in the time it took to blink, Seymour was on the bed beside him, his hand reaching out to cup the blond's cheek.
Tidus swallowed, instinctively jerking his head away. He expected Seymour to get angry at him, but instead the half-Guado only leaned down over his face and kissed him, almost tenderly it seemed.
He squeezed his eyes shut, all too aware of Seymour's body against his and wishing desperately it wasn't. How? How could this be happening again? It was supposed to be over now, right? That had been the one thing keeping him sane throughout the entire week-the knowledge that he wouldn't have to deal with Seymour again. But now Seymour was here and about to use him again. It wasn't fair.
He tried to make himself go away, as he had last time. Tried to think of pleasant things, tried to pretend he was back in Zanarkand. It had worked so wonderfully last time, or at least he could fool himself that it had. But for whatever reason, it wasn't working now. The only thing he was aware of was Seymour. Seymour was once again removing his clothes, and with his hands tied up this time, there was absolutely nothing he could do.
He knew it was going to hurt-last time was testimony to that-but he had gotten the idea in his head that it might hurt less a third time around. It didn't. The pain was just as sharp and excruciating as last time, that pain that had jerked him so reluctantly back to the present then. But this time he didn't scream, didn't cry, just stubbornly lay there and waited for it to be over.
He didn't want to give Seymour the satisfaction of breaking him again.
But oh geeze, it hurt. It hurts... Auron, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen, really I didn't. How could I stop it? I wish you were here, Auron. I want you. I need you. Please...
He wanted to plead with Seymour, beg him to stop this and just let him go, back to Auron, back to the others. He didn't; he knew it would do no good. Seymour was too caught up in his sadistic pleasure to be aware of Tidus, and he wouldn't have stopped anyways.
So he just shut his eyes tighter, clinging to that image of Zanarkand in his mind, trying to make it real. And at last he was able to float, to leave the nightmare of reality he was living and go away to something nicer. He no longer noticed Seymour, didn't know when Seymour finally decided he was finished with him and left him on the bed in such a state, nor would he have cared.
Eventually he slept.
next chapter
[Final Fantasy X] M+, angst/romance/hurt/comfort, 1771 (3570) words, published 02-03-05, rape
previous chapter Further
butterflie
[chapter two ~ fall apart]
He couldn't believe Seymour had taken him. In more ways than one, now that he thought about it. But he was mostly only thinking in the literal sense.
Seymour had knocked him on the head damned hard back on Mt. Gagazet, and Tidus had slid ungracefully into unconsciousness, thankfully not serious enough to require a phoenix down, though he had no doubt Seymour would have used one if necessary.
He'd came to in what he recognized as Guadosalam. He had one hell of a headache, but the absolute terror he felt from being in Seymour's presence overrode that pain.
He didn't want to be near Seymour at all. The memory of what Seymour had done to him last time was still all too fresh. He could still feel Seymour's mouth pressing down on his, Seymour's tongue shoving its way into his resisting mouth. Could feel Seymour's cold hands caressing his skin, undressing him, carrying him to the desk. Could still remember the weight of Seymour's body as it settled against his. Could still feel Seymour inside him... Those feelings had never left him, though Seymour had left him physically long ago. Even that night with Auron, it had been mostly Seymour he'd felt.
He hated it. Hated that he'd let Seymour do that to him. Seymour had broken him, and he knew it. He should have tried harder to stop it, or something. Or perhaps he should have let himself die, down there in Via Purifico. Sure, it was a lame way to kill someone, but Evrae had come back, hadn't it? Why had Rikku and Wakka killed it so easily? He should have moved to let Evrae attack him, instead of just floating there in the water, barely aware of what was around him.
But no. Despite it all, he'd wanted to live. Because the look Auron had given him in the cage, after one of Seymour's guards had brought him back... that look had made it worth living for. It was just a brief glance, but it had been enough. Tidus had known then; what Seymour had done to him didn't lower him in the older man's eyes. He'd simply accepted it, and accepted Tidus. Tidus had never loved him more than in that moment.
And Auron had understood too, that it hadn't been his fault. That, as much as Tidus denied it to himself, there really hadn't been anything else he could have done to save him... unless he wanted Auron and the others to get killed. And he had a suspicion that even had Seymour killed them all right then, Seymour still would have taken what he wanted from Tidus. He loved that about Auron completely, that the man could understand Tidus without his hardly having to say a word.
The night they'd shared had been... not incredible, or wonderful, or anything like that, but it had been something. Though he was reminded of Seymour every time Auron kissed him or touched him, he resolutely ignored that, instead forcing himself to focus on Auron. And for awhile it had worked. It had just been him and Auron in that bed, touching, exploring, caressing.
Then Auron had been inside him, and the memory of Seymour had come slamming back. He'd almost screamed out loud, but managed to choke it down just in time, knowing it was Auron with him and not wanting to scare him. It hadn't hardly mattered, his body had tensed and Auron had known what was wrong anyways. He'd done his best to soothe Tidus, lousy at comfort as usual, but he appreciated the gesture more than he would have if Auron had known exactly how to comfort Tidus. And really, once he'd calmed down and gotten used to Auron, it hadn't been so bad. Auron hadn't been rough, for one thing. And Tidus wanted it. That made a big difference.
Except now...
It doesn't matter now, Tidus thought, unaware he was echoing Auron's words. Seymour had him, had decided to take what he saw as his, and Tidus would have been stupid if he hadn't realized what sort of thing Seymour had in mind for him.
The question was, how soon? And for how long? Where was he even at, and were the others coming after him? He wanted to believe, had to believe, that Auron would come after him, even if Yuna decided to continue on her journey. There was no way Auron would leave him with Seymour. The others didn't know what had happened to him, what Seymour had done, but Auron did. Auron knew, and he'd understood. But how long would it take Auron to find him? If he had the airship, he could go anywhere. But Cid had flown off after letting them out in Bevelle, and wasn't supposed to meet up with them until they were in Zanarkand...
They were supposed to be in Zanarkand by now, actually. But he'd ended up panicking and throwing such a fit to Auron later on about leaving the Calm Lands that Auron had quietly gone and asked Yuna to stay just a few more days. So they were behind, and traveling through Mt. Gagazet had taken more time than they'd expected. Tidus knew that was his fault, but what did they expect, he didn't belong in Spira, it only made sense that he would get lost. It had been bound to happen sooner or later anyway.
So they'd been behind. And then Seymour had shown up, and now he was alone in Guadosalam. He assumed Seymour wasn't staying, it'd be way too obvious. But where would he take Tidus next? He hoped Macalania Temple, but he thought that might be rather obvious too, and too close for Auron to reach within the next week. Or maybe the plan was to just stay moving, stay ahead of Auron so the warrior monk could never catch up to them. Which meant he would have to find a way to escape if that happened.
It wasn't fair. This was not what he wanted. Any of it. Things had just downright sucked ever since Auron let him be swallowed up by Sin; why had Auron wanted him to come here? He said it was what Jecht wanted, but why did Auron always have to do what Jecht wanted? Couldn't the man ever think for himself?
He sighed. He wasn't getting anywhere just thinking on things. He looked around, trying to figure out exactly where he was. Guadosalam, he knew, but where in Guadosalam? On a bed in a room, apparently. Probably Seymour's room. Seymour's bed. The thought made him shudder. He decided not to think about that.
Of course, he didn't have to; the doorknob rattled and then Seymour was walking in. He smiled as he saw Tidus awake, blinking and looking around with a slightly confused look on his face.
"Ah, son of Jecht, you're awake I see."
"Where... where am I?" Tidus asked, embarrassed to find his voice croaking slightly.
"In Guadosalam, of course."
"No... I mean, this-" Tidus tried to gesture around the room, and was shocked to find his wrists tied to the posts of the headboard.
Seymour smiled indulgently. "My chambers," he said, a bit shortly.
"And do you always tie up your guests in bed?" Tidus asked dryly, then immediately regretted it. He didn't want Seymour getting ideas, though Seymour probably already had too many, and none that would be good for Tidus.
"Only you, Son of Jecht. I could not take a chance you would ...let's say, leave before I was ready to see you off. After all, I have so many wonderful plans for the two of us."
Tidus tried to give a little indignant snort at that, but found Seymour's words had scared him too much to sound insulted. It didn't matter anyways; in the time it took to blink, Seymour was on the bed beside him, his hand reaching out to cup the blond's cheek.
Tidus swallowed, instinctively jerking his head away. He expected Seymour to get angry at him, but instead the half-Guado only leaned down over his face and kissed him, almost tenderly it seemed.
He squeezed his eyes shut, all too aware of Seymour's body against his and wishing desperately it wasn't. How? How could this be happening again? It was supposed to be over now, right? That had been the one thing keeping him sane throughout the entire week-the knowledge that he wouldn't have to deal with Seymour again. But now Seymour was here and about to use him again. It wasn't fair.
He tried to make himself go away, as he had last time. Tried to think of pleasant things, tried to pretend he was back in Zanarkand. It had worked so wonderfully last time, or at least he could fool himself that it had. But for whatever reason, it wasn't working now. The only thing he was aware of was Seymour. Seymour was once again removing his clothes, and with his hands tied up this time, there was absolutely nothing he could do.
He knew it was going to hurt-last time was testimony to that-but he had gotten the idea in his head that it might hurt less a third time around. It didn't. The pain was just as sharp and excruciating as last time, that pain that had jerked him so reluctantly back to the present then. But this time he didn't scream, didn't cry, just stubbornly lay there and waited for it to be over.
He didn't want to give Seymour the satisfaction of breaking him again.
But oh geeze, it hurt. It hurts... Auron, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen, really I didn't. How could I stop it? I wish you were here, Auron. I want you. I need you. Please...
He wanted to plead with Seymour, beg him to stop this and just let him go, back to Auron, back to the others. He didn't; he knew it would do no good. Seymour was too caught up in his sadistic pleasure to be aware of Tidus, and he wouldn't have stopped anyways.
So he just shut his eyes tighter, clinging to that image of Zanarkand in his mind, trying to make it real. And at last he was able to float, to leave the nightmare of reality he was living and go away to something nicer. He no longer noticed Seymour, didn't know when Seymour finally decided he was finished with him and left him on the bed in such a state, nor would he have cared.
Eventually he slept.
next chapter