Waiting, Book 1, Chapter 3:3
The hell Matt had been living is finally over. Ken is out of Matt's life for good. Matt can now put everything behind him and start over. But a certain gang seems to think differently... Taito. Sequel to Untold Secrets, but works as stand alone.
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Since I lost my case for possession of Digimon, it is not mine. But be reassured, I'm definitely putting in an appeal!
Author's Notes: A lot of stuff about Ny's family is revealed in this. Pay attention. It's probably important. Oh, and did you know 23 is my favorite number? It used to be 24, after the football number of the guy I had a crush on from 7th-9th grade, which slowly faded with time. Now it's 23. Don't know why. But that wasn't important. sorry. Also, Mr. Ishida's in this part! He's in this story a lot, because he's so cool! He's a happy little buffalo, hehe. Well, not so much in this story.. but you know.. and dammit, while this is still being typed on my laptop, I don't have a song to use. If only Sakamoto Maaya's songs were translated, maybe I'd use one of hers. If the songs weren't so complicated, I'd translate em myself. Later... (I sound like a manga ^_~)
Hey, I actually translated a verse of one of Sakamoto Maaya's songs. Well, except for one word. Does anyone know what hizashi means?!! It's not in my dictionary! Well, if I can figure it out, I'll use it for a later chapter. Because the song fits the story very well. Well, I'm still trying to find a song for this chapter, so see ya later! (My author's notes are too long. I always ramble. Gomen! *Sweatdrop ^_^;; Later again... Wow! I found a song! It's Ace of Base's Waiting For Magic, from their CD The Sign.
--->Translation:
|once again, the song doesn't need one!|
Waiting
Chapter 3:Part 3-A Bold Kiss
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|a man of the world but lost in a dream
|you look at something from a different angle
|but I exist I'm waiting for you
|in a coffin made of glass|
|kiss me baby I'm attractive
|baby get to know me
|show how you are
|give me that magic
|baby I'm eternal
|lying in a coffin
|waiting for you|
"He looked at me and told me he wouldn't let me hurt him anymore, then ran to the kitchen and slashed his wrists with a knife."
"No," I whisphered in disbelief. "He wouldn't. He said he didn't want to die anymore.."
Kari looked up sharply at that, worry etched in the lines on her face.
"He's in the hospital now. I freaked out for quite a bit before I called Dr. Kaos, so he lost a fair amount of blood."
"What room is he in?"
"423. You'll need a visitor's pass to get in, so I'll meet you at the entrance to the hospital."
"Allright. I'm leaving now. And can I bring my sister?"
"Sure, but she probably won't be allowed in Matt's room. I don't even know if you can yet."
"It doesn't matter."
I hung up and turned to Kari, eyes filled with tears which I ashamedly wiped away.
"Matt's in the hospital," I told her, then couldn't get any farther. I hunched over and began to cry.
Why? Why had he done that? Were his nightmares so much in control of him that he didn't recognize past and present, didn't know what he was doing half the time?
How could his nightmares be that bad? He had seemed fine last night after we had fallen asleep, and he was fine this morning.
God I hate Ken for doing this to him.
Kari came over to me and put her arms around me, guiding me to the couch. "Tai? What's wrong? Why is Matt in the hospital?"
"He slashed his wrists again," I choked out. "He woke up and thought his father was Ken, so he said he wouldn't let him hurt him anymore, then went and slashed his wrists."
* * *
"I'm glad you came Tai," Mr. Ishida said as Kari and I walked over to him.
I simply nodded, not trusting myself to speak for fear I'd start crying again. Actually, I was still crying a little but it was the silent kind.
Kari had done a little crying herself, but not a lot as she didn't love Matt the way I did, so she had composed herself rather quickly.
Quietly, Kari and I followed Mr. Ishida into the hospital and up to Matt's room. Dr. Kaos was there, seemingly waiting on us, and told us only one person at a time could see Matt right now. Mr. Ishida graciously allowed me to see him first, so I thanked him, then went in, shutting the door behind me.
Matt was sitting up when I walked in, and besides the bandages around his wrists, he looked totally fine. Slightly perky, even.
He grinned when I walked in, holding up his wrists and saying, "I guess my wrists have acquired a certain taste for the knife."
I frowned and glared at him. "I don't find that funny in the least, Ishida," I informed him in a cold tone, so he'd know how dead serious I was about this. "I was worried to death about you, afraid you'd die."
"I'm still here, aren't I?" he asked cheerfully, oblivious to the tone of my voice.
"That doesn't matter! What the hell were you thinking?! I thought you said you didn't have reason to kill yourself!"
"I just wanted to stop the nightmares," Matt said quietly, no longer so giddy.
"So there are other ways, Matt! You didn't have to attempt suicide again! Besides, what about me? Would you have really left me just so you could stop the nightmares?
"And think about everybody else," I continued. "Think about Ny, who loves you just as much as I do" -I still didn't know that Matt already knew this, but I didn't care and it was only later that I thought I had accidentally let Ny's secret out- "and about Takeru, who would never forgive you if you killed yourself. And think about your father, and all the rest of your friends. What about all of them?"
Then in a movement that surprised even me, I was sitting on Matt's bed, hugging him tightly and crying harder than ever. "Please don't kill yourself, Matt," I sobbed. "I couldn't bear to lose you, couldn't stand living without you. Please don't kill yourself, no matter how bad it gets."
Matt didn't say anything, just held me awkwardly, as I'd flung myself at him in an awkward position.
In a bit someone knocked on the door and Dr. Kaos entered.
"It's time for you to leave Tai," he said.
I nodded, pulling away from Matt, then hesitating.
After an unsure decision, I leaned back over and kissed Matt full on the lips, then stood and left, glancing at Dr. Kaos as I did so.
He didn't seemed disturbed in the least.
Matt of course, looked rather surprised but pleased.
"How is he?" Kari asked in a low voice as I walked out.
Dimly my brain registered Mr. Ishida watching us, and probably listening, so I just lied and said he seemed fine for someone who just tried killing himself a second time.
"Is he awake yet?" Mr. Ishida asked me.
I nodded. "He was sitting up in bed when I went in."
Just then Dr. Kaos came out.
"Ishida, he wants to see you. Visiting hours are actually over, but I'll give you some time."
"Thanks, Akira." He went in.
I looked at Kari when he was gone.
"Well?" she asked.
"He was weird," was all I said.
She frowned. "Weird?"
"Yeah, weird. Like, all happy and perky like. Didn't seem to realize he'd tried killing himself. He joked around about it."
"You didn't blow up at him, did you?"
When I didn't answer, she gave me a Look. "Tell me you didn't."
"I did," I said meekly.
"Tai!"
"I didn't blow up at him exactly," I defended myself. "Just got kinda mad and yelled some."
"What did you yell?" came the wary question.
Quickly I described the conversation that had taken place between us, finishing up with the kiss I had given him before I left.
"At least he knows you still love him," she mused, "although I don't think kissing him in front of Dr. Kaos is such a hot idea."
"And why in hell not?" I asked indignantly. "Am I supposed to be ashamed of my sexual preferences or something?"
"No.."
"Then why not?"
"What if he mentions it to Mr. Ishida?"
I hadn't thought of that.
Kuso.
What if he does?
But so what? Matt was planning on telling him later anyways.
"Who cares if he mentions it to Mr. Ishida," I said airily, waving my hand dramatically in the air for effect. "Besides, it's not like he really would anyways, so why worry?"
Kari just shook her head.
"Let's hope so Tai."
* * *
"Asashi?"
"Hai."
"Aya?"
"Hai."
I listened to Sensei, bored as he called the roll. All I wanted was to get back to the hospital and see Matt.
"Ichou?"
"Hai."
"Ishida?"
Silence.
"Ishida?"
"Oh, um.. Matt's in the hospital, Sensei," I spoke up.
Sensei nodded and went on calling the roll while Ny and Kenji both gave me a questioning look.
I shook my head. "Tell you at lunch," I mouthed to them.
Just then Sensei finished calling the roll (although I don't recall hearing my name but oh well he knows I'm here) and turned to Kenji.
"Jin-san, you are sober today, are you not?"
"Hai, Sensei," Kenji replied sheepishly.
"And your arm is in much pain, is it not?"
"Ha-ai, Sensei.." he said warily.
I wonder what's in store for him.
"Good. Then stand and come to the front of the room."
Kenji did as he was told, wincing as he banged his arm on the desk.
When he reached the front, Mitsuo Sensei smiled at him. But it wasn't a nice smile.
"Drop down and do pushups until I say otherwise."
"Wha...!" Kenji cried. "I can't do that with my wrist broken!"
"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you jumped out the window. Now do as I say."
In a mixture of awe and sympathy, the class watched silently as Kenji dropped to the floor and began to do pushups, his face scrunched up in agony.
I winced, watching him. I knew that must hurt him badly. Sometimes Sensei went a little too far in his punishments, especially when it concerned Kenji or Nyusumi. He used to with Matt, but I don't think he will after knowing what happened.
It's strange though. He knows I'm friends with the band, but even with all my own crazy shit I do, he hardly ever does anything to punish me.
* * *
"I can't believe what Mitsuo-Sensei made me do today," Kenji grumbled later on. Me and him and Ny were at Ny's usual spot near the bleachers in the old gym. We had bunked off sixth form simply because none of us felt like going. Plus, I never had a chance to tell them about Matt at lunch, and they wanted to know.
I shrugged. "It could have been worse."
"I think he's just sore because I accidentally told the class about the blowjob stuff. Not that they realized what part of that was true..."
"WHAT?!" I shouted.
Ny gaped at him. "Kenji, explain yourself!" he spluttered.
Kenji blushed.
"Well, I had this dare from this guy, Keiichi-you guys know him?"
We nodded, we knew him in passing.
"Well, he dared me to work as a male prostitute for one night. So I did, and Mitsuo-Sensei picked me up. He didn't realize it was me, because I looked different. I had cut my hair and dyed it blue- you remember that, right? Anyways, he wanted me to give him a 'good ole ass fucking' as he put it, 'cept I was charging outrageous prices -I mean I didn't wanna sleep with him!- so then he just asked for a blowjob, and I told him that was more expensive."
"But did you fuck him?"
"Eventually -he threatened to have the cops pick me up for prostitution if I didn't."
"So how did he find out it was you?" I breathed, shocked at what I was hearing.
"When I walked in third form the next day and he saw my hair!"
"God, Kenji. Not only are you straight, but you slept with a teacher! How could you have done that?"
"Right... can we change the channel? This is disgusting!" I said.
"Sure." Ny said agreeably. "Let's change the channel to Matt." v I shifted uncomfortably. "Ok, um..."
"Why's he in the hospital?" Kenji blurted.
I sighed. "Do you guys really wanna know?" I asked as a way to warn them.
They both nodded, faces drawn, realizing the seriousness of this.
Another sigh.
"Matt had a nightmare. He went kind of hysterical when he woke up, was slightly disoriented. He .. he cut his wrists."
They looked at me, eyes wide.
"He tried to kill himself?" Ny whisphered in a horrified voice. "But why? I never thought.."
Obviously none of them knew he had tried to kill himself before.
"It wasn't on purpose," I said hastily, "and he's okay. Like I said, he was disoriented, and he didn't really know what he was doing." Not completely, anyways.
"But he's okay, right?" Ny asked, a touch of near hysteria detectable in his voice. "He's not knocking on death's door begging to be let in, is he? He's perfectly fine."
This last sentence was more of a statement than a question, as if Ny was trying to reassure himself. Given his feelings for my boyfriend, I understood why.
"He's fine," I told Nyusumi, smiling at him. "I've seen him myself."
"Good," Ny breathed, and Kenji looked relieved as well. At least I didn't have to worry about Kenji having a crush on Matt. He was as straight as a board.
"Excuse me boys, just what do you think you're doing here?"
The three of us looked up to see Kouchou-Sensei standing over us. <--- Kouchou-Sensei-principal. Usually used only in elementary and middle school.
His name was a joke, really. He insisted we call him that (we as in the school) but he was such a daft idiot that he didn't realize we used it mockingly.
"Ano.. Konnichiwa, Kouchou-Sensei," Kenji and I said nervously, not bothering to put the smirk behind his name.
Ny, however, gave the principal a huge Ny grin. "Yo, Kou-Sei, sup?" (Kou-Sei, obviously, is a shortening of his name. It be like if you had a friend named Kathy and you called her Kath or something. But did I really need to explain that?)
"It's such a nice place in this gym," Ny continued, unaware of the strange looks he was getting from the rest of us present in that room. "Me and Kenji and Taichi here were just discussing what we should do to support one of our friends. He's been through real hard times lately. Matt Ishida you know, the one on the news."
"I know who you're talking about," the principal told him, though he was clearly bewildered by Nyusumi's strange attitude.
Ny had been to see the principal lots of times. So many, in fact, that he had struck up a friendship with the secretaries there. He was constantly getting in trouble for the wild and reckless things he did, and usually when he was in the office he maintained this 'Who, me? What did I do? I'm innocent!' attitude, and avoided the principal as much as possible. He certainly didn't strike up friendly conversation with him, like he was now!
I decided it was the worry over Matt getting to him.
However, I soon found that what Ny was up to was quite different.
"Yeah, we've been worried about him," Ny went on. "So worried, in fact, that we decided to go visit him in the hospital right now!" Then he was up and gone in a flash, hightailing it out of there. Kenji caught on real quick, he was only a few seconds behind Ny.
Me, having nothing better to do, and not wanting to deal with Kouchou-Sensei, followed suit.
* * *
We ended up at Nyusumi's house.
I hadn't been there before, so I was surprised to see he lived in an actual house, not an apartment like so many people in Odaiba and Tokyo and Kyoto and other large cities.
What surprised me even more was the way Ny behaved at his house. Before he let us come in, he made us take off our shoes outside, not in the entrance to the house like most people. Then, since Kenji wasn't wearing socks, he had to put on an extra pair of Ny's slippers. (What are those things called, like, officially?) It was strange, because the rest of us usually go around the apartments or houses in socks or barefeet, including Ny. But apparently at his house it was different. Almost as if he was a whole different person.
"So, would you guys like anything to eat? To drink?" he asked us once he finally let us in.
Kenji shook his head, but I didn't reply. I was too busy marveling at Ny's house.
God, he was rich!
His house was full of all kinds of expensive ceramics and antique looking things. In fact, it was done up in a very traditional fashion, with the screens as walls, like the houses they still have out in the country. Which are very expensive.
Nyusumi saw me looking and adopted an embarrassed look on his face.
"My mom's sister died," he said, as if this explained anything.
But when his back was turned, Kenji leaned over and whisphered that Ny's mother's sister died eleven years ago, and in fact the money came from the fact that Mr. Asashi owned Odaiba's hospital.
Wow. I wonder why Ny never mentioned this fact to us. I wonder if Matt even knows, and how Kenji found out about it.
Of course, it turns out that Kenji and Ny were actually cousins, Kenji being the son of Mrs. Asashi's other sister, one which was in fact still living. However, I didn't find that out until much later, long after Kenji's death. Anyways, to get back on course, we followed Nyusumi to his room, where we finished our conversation about Matt.
They wanted to go visit him in the hospital, but I didn't want them to because I didn't want them to see how flippant Matt was acting over this. Of course, I didn't tell them that, but I did say Mr. Ishida should be the one to spend all the visiting hours with Matt. We'd have plenty of time after he was released, I told them.
But Ny was adamant. He insisted Mr. Ishida wouldn't mind if he and Kenji went to see Matt for a few minutes.
"But it won't be a few minutes, Ny," I argued. "You and I both know it, and Kenji knows it too."
Ny glared at me suspiciously. "What are you hiding from us, Yagami? What's wrong with Matt that you don't want us to know about?"
"N-nothing!" I stammered, trying to convince him. "I just don't think its a good idea for so many people to visit him right now."
"Usotsuki." <---Liar.
This came from Kenji.
I spun around to face him. "What?"
"You heard me. Usotsuki."
"What makes you say that?"
"Why won't you let us see Matt? He's our friend as well as band member, and you saw him, and your sister saw him, and his father sees him every day of his life. What's wrong with us visiting him too? Nothing. So you're a liar. Something's wrong, or at least different, about Matt that you're trying to hide."
I gulped. "It's nothing, I swear. I'm not hiding anything."
"Then let us visit Matt."
After much cajoling on Ny's part, I finally crumbled. Well, halfway.
"Allright, allright!" I grumbled. "I'll take you to see Matt, Ny."
"Yes!" Ny cheered, as Kenji looked at me. "What about me?"
"No. I'll take Ny, he can stay for ten to fifteen minutes, come back and tell you how Matt is, and that's it. Otherwise I won't take him at all."
"That's not fair! Then how come you're taking Ny?"
Because he likes Matt.
"It's because I like Matt, right Tai?"
"Tai knows about that?"
"Duh stupid. I told him long before you made that stupid comment to the band that caused you and Ratsuii and Matt to find out."
"You mean Matt knows?" I asked with confusion.
Ny nodded. "Yeah. Genius over here had to make fun of my concern for Matt, saying I liked him."
Oh... I could easily see where that must have gone.
Someone knocked on the door to Ny's room then, startling us all.
"Ny?" It was a girl's voice.
Ny sighed. "What, Emiko?"
"Emiko's Ny's twin sister," Kenji whisphered to me.
I raised an eyebrow.
Ny had a twin sister?
The door opened to reveal a tall, thin girl of seventeen (well duh!) standing there. Like Ny, she had soft violet eyes. However, her hair was a light blue color instead of the purple color that Ny had dyed his. But other than that, she and Ny looked almost completely alike. I mean, both were tall and thin, with purple eyes and the same kind of nose, even.
"What do you want, Emiko?" Ny asked her again.
"The principal is really pissed at you. He was threatening to suspend you. He called me down to the office at the beginning of seventh to rant and rave for an hour. Just thought I'd warn you."
"Thanks, Emiko."
Emiko waved and started to leave.
"Oh, Emi?"
She turned.
"Is Mom home yet?"
"Nope."
"K. Thanks."
"Ny, did I ever mention how hott your sister is?" Kenji asked. "She's a total babe."
"You've only said that about a million times, Kenji," Ny said, rolling his eyes.
"Think she'd ever go out with me?"
"Not in a million years."
I laughed.
Somehow the thought of Kenji dating Emiko was just too funny. It'd be like he was dating Nyusumi.
* * *
"Yagami Taichi, get your ass in here right now!"
I jumped at kaasan's voice, then gulped and stood slowly. I had been dreading this moment. Fearfully, I glanced back at Kari, who gave me a reassuring smile. "She won't get that mad, Tai. It's not like it's the first time you've bunked off class."
"But it's the first time I ran from the principal," I groaned, then headed toward the kitchen.
'kaasan was there, standing with her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face. Behind her, tomatoes were half sliced on the cutting board.
"Hai, okaasan?"
"What in hell did you think you were doing, running from the principal like that?"
I shrugged. "Well, it was Nyusumi who started it."
She glared. "Just because Matt's band members ran off doesn't mean you have to, too."
"But they're not just 'Matt's band members'! They're my friends as well, and I couldn't chicken out on them!"
"Tai!" 'kaasan said with exasperation.
"What?!" I replied with equal irritation.
She sighed in disbelief. "You're willing to get in trouble just so you can do what your friends do?"
"Yes."
"Whatever," she said, giving up on me.
I suppressed a laugh at the annoyed look on her face, then went to get my jacket from my room. I was supposed to be meeting Nyusumi in front of the hospital in thirty minutes.
"So is 'kaasan really angry with you?" Kari asked as I walked in the room and snagged my jacket off the back of the chair.
"Nope, just annoyed." I grinned.
She giggled. "Tai!"
"What?!"
"You always end up annoying 'kaasan!"
"It's my mission in life. Anyways, gotta meet Ny now, promised to let him see Matt."
She gave me a Look. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No, but he insisted. But maybe Matt's not acting all unconcerned and giddy now."
She shrugged. "Maybe."
* * *
"Yo Tai, what's happ'nin?" Ny greeted me as I walked up the sidewalk.
"Not much, Ny, not much at all. My kaasan's annoyed about me cutting class yesterday. You?" I asked.
"Man, my mom don' care. She don' know I'm suspended yet, though." <---Have they resorted to acting like the black kids in my class? With all this man, and happ'nin and crap? Kowaiin! (scary)
"Neither does mine. She thinks I went to school. Apparently the principal decided not to tell her."
"Yeah. Well, come on. I got a date in a little bit."
I raised my eyes. "With who?"
"Tora. You know him?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
"Oh. Well you'd probably like him. Green eyes, red hair that he streaked with white. Claims he supports Japan with his hair."
"Oh, him. I've seen him around. He's pretty hott. But isn't he pretty popular with the girls?"
"Girls ain't much if they don't turn you on."
"True." I agreed. "Well, come on."
I began to lead the way into the hospital. I didn't have a visitor's pass of my own, but I had stopped by Matt's apartment and borrowed one from Mr. Ishida. Boarding the elevator, I pressed the button for the fourth floor. Beside me, Ny kept glancing around nervously. I've heard from the band that he doesn't really like hospitals. Ratsuii told me once, but I don't remember why. Something to do with a little boy.
The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Ny thankfully stepped out after me and followed me down the hall to room 423, Matt's room.
Knocking, I opened the door and went in, Ny close on my heels.
"Matt," I said softly, thinking how fragile and thin he looked from this angle. It was like he was made of glass or something. He could be broken so easily... He turned. "Tai..."
End Part 3:3
Author's Notes: Woah, kinda sudden. I didn't plan to end it here at first, but then I changed my mind and did it anyway. Anyways, pay attention the stuff about Ny's family. It may be important later. I haven't decided though, so you may not need to. But it's better to anyways. Well, wasn't this such a long chapter? Three freakin parts to it. I guess doing the story from Tai's pov is easier. And for those of you who may be wondering, no, I STILL haven't forgotten about Kento. I've actually skipped ahead and written that part in a notebook, but I'm not sure when I can work it into the story. It's from Matt's pov, so any of the even numbered chapters. 4,6,8, however many chapters, whichever works out best.
part four:one
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Since I lost my case for possession of Digimon, it is not mine. But be reassured, I'm definitely putting in an appeal!
Author's Notes: A lot of stuff about Ny's family is revealed in this. Pay attention. It's probably important. Oh, and did you know 23 is my favorite number? It used to be 24, after the football number of the guy I had a crush on from 7th-9th grade, which slowly faded with time. Now it's 23. Don't know why. But that wasn't important. sorry. Also, Mr. Ishida's in this part! He's in this story a lot, because he's so cool! He's a happy little buffalo, hehe. Well, not so much in this story.. but you know.. and dammit, while this is still being typed on my laptop, I don't have a song to use. If only Sakamoto Maaya's songs were translated, maybe I'd use one of hers. If the songs weren't so complicated, I'd translate em myself. Later... (I sound like a manga ^_~)
Hey, I actually translated a verse of one of Sakamoto Maaya's songs. Well, except for one word. Does anyone know what hizashi means?!! It's not in my dictionary! Well, if I can figure it out, I'll use it for a later chapter. Because the song fits the story very well. Well, I'm still trying to find a song for this chapter, so see ya later! (My author's notes are too long. I always ramble. Gomen! *Sweatdrop ^_^;; Later again... Wow! I found a song! It's Ace of Base's Waiting For Magic, from their CD The Sign.
--->Translation:
|once again, the song doesn't need one!|
Waiting
Chapter 3:Part 3-A Bold Kiss
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|a man of the world but lost in a dream
|you look at something from a different angle
|but I exist I'm waiting for you
|in a coffin made of glass|
|kiss me baby I'm attractive
|baby get to know me
|show how you are
|give me that magic
|baby I'm eternal
|lying in a coffin
|waiting for you|
"He looked at me and told me he wouldn't let me hurt him anymore, then ran to the kitchen and slashed his wrists with a knife."
"No," I whisphered in disbelief. "He wouldn't. He said he didn't want to die anymore.."
Kari looked up sharply at that, worry etched in the lines on her face.
"He's in the hospital now. I freaked out for quite a bit before I called Dr. Kaos, so he lost a fair amount of blood."
"What room is he in?"
"423. You'll need a visitor's pass to get in, so I'll meet you at the entrance to the hospital."
"Allright. I'm leaving now. And can I bring my sister?"
"Sure, but she probably won't be allowed in Matt's room. I don't even know if you can yet."
"It doesn't matter."
I hung up and turned to Kari, eyes filled with tears which I ashamedly wiped away.
"Matt's in the hospital," I told her, then couldn't get any farther. I hunched over and began to cry.
Why? Why had he done that? Were his nightmares so much in control of him that he didn't recognize past and present, didn't know what he was doing half the time?
How could his nightmares be that bad? He had seemed fine last night after we had fallen asleep, and he was fine this morning.
God I hate Ken for doing this to him.
Kari came over to me and put her arms around me, guiding me to the couch. "Tai? What's wrong? Why is Matt in the hospital?"
"He slashed his wrists again," I choked out. "He woke up and thought his father was Ken, so he said he wouldn't let him hurt him anymore, then went and slashed his wrists."
* * *
"I'm glad you came Tai," Mr. Ishida said as Kari and I walked over to him.
I simply nodded, not trusting myself to speak for fear I'd start crying again. Actually, I was still crying a little but it was the silent kind.
Kari had done a little crying herself, but not a lot as she didn't love Matt the way I did, so she had composed herself rather quickly.
Quietly, Kari and I followed Mr. Ishida into the hospital and up to Matt's room. Dr. Kaos was there, seemingly waiting on us, and told us only one person at a time could see Matt right now. Mr. Ishida graciously allowed me to see him first, so I thanked him, then went in, shutting the door behind me.
Matt was sitting up when I walked in, and besides the bandages around his wrists, he looked totally fine. Slightly perky, even.
He grinned when I walked in, holding up his wrists and saying, "I guess my wrists have acquired a certain taste for the knife."
I frowned and glared at him. "I don't find that funny in the least, Ishida," I informed him in a cold tone, so he'd know how dead serious I was about this. "I was worried to death about you, afraid you'd die."
"I'm still here, aren't I?" he asked cheerfully, oblivious to the tone of my voice.
"That doesn't matter! What the hell were you thinking?! I thought you said you didn't have reason to kill yourself!"
"I just wanted to stop the nightmares," Matt said quietly, no longer so giddy.
"So there are other ways, Matt! You didn't have to attempt suicide again! Besides, what about me? Would you have really left me just so you could stop the nightmares?
"And think about everybody else," I continued. "Think about Ny, who loves you just as much as I do" -I still didn't know that Matt already knew this, but I didn't care and it was only later that I thought I had accidentally let Ny's secret out- "and about Takeru, who would never forgive you if you killed yourself. And think about your father, and all the rest of your friends. What about all of them?"
Then in a movement that surprised even me, I was sitting on Matt's bed, hugging him tightly and crying harder than ever. "Please don't kill yourself, Matt," I sobbed. "I couldn't bear to lose you, couldn't stand living without you. Please don't kill yourself, no matter how bad it gets."
Matt didn't say anything, just held me awkwardly, as I'd flung myself at him in an awkward position.
In a bit someone knocked on the door and Dr. Kaos entered.
"It's time for you to leave Tai," he said.
I nodded, pulling away from Matt, then hesitating.
After an unsure decision, I leaned back over and kissed Matt full on the lips, then stood and left, glancing at Dr. Kaos as I did so.
He didn't seemed disturbed in the least.
Matt of course, looked rather surprised but pleased.
"How is he?" Kari asked in a low voice as I walked out.
Dimly my brain registered Mr. Ishida watching us, and probably listening, so I just lied and said he seemed fine for someone who just tried killing himself a second time.
"Is he awake yet?" Mr. Ishida asked me.
I nodded. "He was sitting up in bed when I went in."
Just then Dr. Kaos came out.
"Ishida, he wants to see you. Visiting hours are actually over, but I'll give you some time."
"Thanks, Akira." He went in.
I looked at Kari when he was gone.
"Well?" she asked.
"He was weird," was all I said.
She frowned. "Weird?"
"Yeah, weird. Like, all happy and perky like. Didn't seem to realize he'd tried killing himself. He joked around about it."
"You didn't blow up at him, did you?"
When I didn't answer, she gave me a Look. "Tell me you didn't."
"I did," I said meekly.
"Tai!"
"I didn't blow up at him exactly," I defended myself. "Just got kinda mad and yelled some."
"What did you yell?" came the wary question.
Quickly I described the conversation that had taken place between us, finishing up with the kiss I had given him before I left.
"At least he knows you still love him," she mused, "although I don't think kissing him in front of Dr. Kaos is such a hot idea."
"And why in hell not?" I asked indignantly. "Am I supposed to be ashamed of my sexual preferences or something?"
"No.."
"Then why not?"
"What if he mentions it to Mr. Ishida?"
I hadn't thought of that.
Kuso.
What if he does?
But so what? Matt was planning on telling him later anyways.
"Who cares if he mentions it to Mr. Ishida," I said airily, waving my hand dramatically in the air for effect. "Besides, it's not like he really would anyways, so why worry?"
Kari just shook her head.
"Let's hope so Tai."
* * *
"Asashi?"
"Hai."
"Aya?"
"Hai."
I listened to Sensei, bored as he called the roll. All I wanted was to get back to the hospital and see Matt.
"Ichou?"
"Hai."
"Ishida?"
Silence.
"Ishida?"
"Oh, um.. Matt's in the hospital, Sensei," I spoke up.
Sensei nodded and went on calling the roll while Ny and Kenji both gave me a questioning look.
I shook my head. "Tell you at lunch," I mouthed to them.
Just then Sensei finished calling the roll (although I don't recall hearing my name but oh well he knows I'm here) and turned to Kenji.
"Jin-san, you are sober today, are you not?"
"Hai, Sensei," Kenji replied sheepishly.
"And your arm is in much pain, is it not?"
"Ha-ai, Sensei.." he said warily.
I wonder what's in store for him.
"Good. Then stand and come to the front of the room."
Kenji did as he was told, wincing as he banged his arm on the desk.
When he reached the front, Mitsuo Sensei smiled at him. But it wasn't a nice smile.
"Drop down and do pushups until I say otherwise."
"Wha...!" Kenji cried. "I can't do that with my wrist broken!"
"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you jumped out the window. Now do as I say."
In a mixture of awe and sympathy, the class watched silently as Kenji dropped to the floor and began to do pushups, his face scrunched up in agony.
I winced, watching him. I knew that must hurt him badly. Sometimes Sensei went a little too far in his punishments, especially when it concerned Kenji or Nyusumi. He used to with Matt, but I don't think he will after knowing what happened.
It's strange though. He knows I'm friends with the band, but even with all my own crazy shit I do, he hardly ever does anything to punish me.
* * *
"I can't believe what Mitsuo-Sensei made me do today," Kenji grumbled later on. Me and him and Ny were at Ny's usual spot near the bleachers in the old gym. We had bunked off sixth form simply because none of us felt like going. Plus, I never had a chance to tell them about Matt at lunch, and they wanted to know.
I shrugged. "It could have been worse."
"I think he's just sore because I accidentally told the class about the blowjob stuff. Not that they realized what part of that was true..."
"WHAT?!" I shouted.
Ny gaped at him. "Kenji, explain yourself!" he spluttered.
Kenji blushed.
"Well, I had this dare from this guy, Keiichi-you guys know him?"
We nodded, we knew him in passing.
"Well, he dared me to work as a male prostitute for one night. So I did, and Mitsuo-Sensei picked me up. He didn't realize it was me, because I looked different. I had cut my hair and dyed it blue- you remember that, right? Anyways, he wanted me to give him a 'good ole ass fucking' as he put it, 'cept I was charging outrageous prices -I mean I didn't wanna sleep with him!- so then he just asked for a blowjob, and I told him that was more expensive."
"But did you fuck him?"
"Eventually -he threatened to have the cops pick me up for prostitution if I didn't."
"So how did he find out it was you?" I breathed, shocked at what I was hearing.
"When I walked in third form the next day and he saw my hair!"
"God, Kenji. Not only are you straight, but you slept with a teacher! How could you have done that?"
"Right... can we change the channel? This is disgusting!" I said.
"Sure." Ny said agreeably. "Let's change the channel to Matt." v I shifted uncomfortably. "Ok, um..."
"Why's he in the hospital?" Kenji blurted.
I sighed. "Do you guys really wanna know?" I asked as a way to warn them.
They both nodded, faces drawn, realizing the seriousness of this.
Another sigh.
"Matt had a nightmare. He went kind of hysterical when he woke up, was slightly disoriented. He .. he cut his wrists."
They looked at me, eyes wide.
"He tried to kill himself?" Ny whisphered in a horrified voice. "But why? I never thought.."
Obviously none of them knew he had tried to kill himself before.
"It wasn't on purpose," I said hastily, "and he's okay. Like I said, he was disoriented, and he didn't really know what he was doing." Not completely, anyways.
"But he's okay, right?" Ny asked, a touch of near hysteria detectable in his voice. "He's not knocking on death's door begging to be let in, is he? He's perfectly fine."
This last sentence was more of a statement than a question, as if Ny was trying to reassure himself. Given his feelings for my boyfriend, I understood why.
"He's fine," I told Nyusumi, smiling at him. "I've seen him myself."
"Good," Ny breathed, and Kenji looked relieved as well. At least I didn't have to worry about Kenji having a crush on Matt. He was as straight as a board.
"Excuse me boys, just what do you think you're doing here?"
The three of us looked up to see Kouchou-Sensei standing over us. <--- Kouchou-Sensei-principal. Usually used only in elementary and middle school.
His name was a joke, really. He insisted we call him that (we as in the school) but he was such a daft idiot that he didn't realize we used it mockingly.
"Ano.. Konnichiwa, Kouchou-Sensei," Kenji and I said nervously, not bothering to put the smirk behind his name.
Ny, however, gave the principal a huge Ny grin. "Yo, Kou-Sei, sup?" (Kou-Sei, obviously, is a shortening of his name. It be like if you had a friend named Kathy and you called her Kath or something. But did I really need to explain that?)
"It's such a nice place in this gym," Ny continued, unaware of the strange looks he was getting from the rest of us present in that room. "Me and Kenji and Taichi here were just discussing what we should do to support one of our friends. He's been through real hard times lately. Matt Ishida you know, the one on the news."
"I know who you're talking about," the principal told him, though he was clearly bewildered by Nyusumi's strange attitude.
Ny had been to see the principal lots of times. So many, in fact, that he had struck up a friendship with the secretaries there. He was constantly getting in trouble for the wild and reckless things he did, and usually when he was in the office he maintained this 'Who, me? What did I do? I'm innocent!' attitude, and avoided the principal as much as possible. He certainly didn't strike up friendly conversation with him, like he was now!
I decided it was the worry over Matt getting to him.
However, I soon found that what Ny was up to was quite different.
"Yeah, we've been worried about him," Ny went on. "So worried, in fact, that we decided to go visit him in the hospital right now!" Then he was up and gone in a flash, hightailing it out of there. Kenji caught on real quick, he was only a few seconds behind Ny.
Me, having nothing better to do, and not wanting to deal with Kouchou-Sensei, followed suit.
* * *
We ended up at Nyusumi's house.
I hadn't been there before, so I was surprised to see he lived in an actual house, not an apartment like so many people in Odaiba and Tokyo and Kyoto and other large cities.
What surprised me even more was the way Ny behaved at his house. Before he let us come in, he made us take off our shoes outside, not in the entrance to the house like most people. Then, since Kenji wasn't wearing socks, he had to put on an extra pair of Ny's slippers. (What are those things called, like, officially?) It was strange, because the rest of us usually go around the apartments or houses in socks or barefeet, including Ny. But apparently at his house it was different. Almost as if he was a whole different person.
"So, would you guys like anything to eat? To drink?" he asked us once he finally let us in.
Kenji shook his head, but I didn't reply. I was too busy marveling at Ny's house.
God, he was rich!
His house was full of all kinds of expensive ceramics and antique looking things. In fact, it was done up in a very traditional fashion, with the screens as walls, like the houses they still have out in the country. Which are very expensive.
Nyusumi saw me looking and adopted an embarrassed look on his face.
"My mom's sister died," he said, as if this explained anything.
But when his back was turned, Kenji leaned over and whisphered that Ny's mother's sister died eleven years ago, and in fact the money came from the fact that Mr. Asashi owned Odaiba's hospital.
Wow. I wonder why Ny never mentioned this fact to us. I wonder if Matt even knows, and how Kenji found out about it.
Of course, it turns out that Kenji and Ny were actually cousins, Kenji being the son of Mrs. Asashi's other sister, one which was in fact still living. However, I didn't find that out until much later, long after Kenji's death. Anyways, to get back on course, we followed Nyusumi to his room, where we finished our conversation about Matt.
They wanted to go visit him in the hospital, but I didn't want them to because I didn't want them to see how flippant Matt was acting over this. Of course, I didn't tell them that, but I did say Mr. Ishida should be the one to spend all the visiting hours with Matt. We'd have plenty of time after he was released, I told them.
But Ny was adamant. He insisted Mr. Ishida wouldn't mind if he and Kenji went to see Matt for a few minutes.
"But it won't be a few minutes, Ny," I argued. "You and I both know it, and Kenji knows it too."
Ny glared at me suspiciously. "What are you hiding from us, Yagami? What's wrong with Matt that you don't want us to know about?"
"N-nothing!" I stammered, trying to convince him. "I just don't think its a good idea for so many people to visit him right now."
"Usotsuki." <---Liar.
This came from Kenji.
I spun around to face him. "What?"
"You heard me. Usotsuki."
"What makes you say that?"
"Why won't you let us see Matt? He's our friend as well as band member, and you saw him, and your sister saw him, and his father sees him every day of his life. What's wrong with us visiting him too? Nothing. So you're a liar. Something's wrong, or at least different, about Matt that you're trying to hide."
I gulped. "It's nothing, I swear. I'm not hiding anything."
"Then let us visit Matt."
After much cajoling on Ny's part, I finally crumbled. Well, halfway.
"Allright, allright!" I grumbled. "I'll take you to see Matt, Ny."
"Yes!" Ny cheered, as Kenji looked at me. "What about me?"
"No. I'll take Ny, he can stay for ten to fifteen minutes, come back and tell you how Matt is, and that's it. Otherwise I won't take him at all."
"That's not fair! Then how come you're taking Ny?"
Because he likes Matt.
"It's because I like Matt, right Tai?"
"Tai knows about that?"
"Duh stupid. I told him long before you made that stupid comment to the band that caused you and Ratsuii and Matt to find out."
"You mean Matt knows?" I asked with confusion.
Ny nodded. "Yeah. Genius over here had to make fun of my concern for Matt, saying I liked him."
Oh... I could easily see where that must have gone.
Someone knocked on the door to Ny's room then, startling us all.
"Ny?" It was a girl's voice.
Ny sighed. "What, Emiko?"
"Emiko's Ny's twin sister," Kenji whisphered to me.
I raised an eyebrow.
Ny had a twin sister?
The door opened to reveal a tall, thin girl of seventeen (well duh!) standing there. Like Ny, she had soft violet eyes. However, her hair was a light blue color instead of the purple color that Ny had dyed his. But other than that, she and Ny looked almost completely alike. I mean, both were tall and thin, with purple eyes and the same kind of nose, even.
"What do you want, Emiko?" Ny asked her again.
"The principal is really pissed at you. He was threatening to suspend you. He called me down to the office at the beginning of seventh to rant and rave for an hour. Just thought I'd warn you."
"Thanks, Emiko."
Emiko waved and started to leave.
"Oh, Emi?"
She turned.
"Is Mom home yet?"
"Nope."
"K. Thanks."
"Ny, did I ever mention how hott your sister is?" Kenji asked. "She's a total babe."
"You've only said that about a million times, Kenji," Ny said, rolling his eyes.
"Think she'd ever go out with me?"
"Not in a million years."
I laughed.
Somehow the thought of Kenji dating Emiko was just too funny. It'd be like he was dating Nyusumi.
* * *
"Yagami Taichi, get your ass in here right now!"
I jumped at kaasan's voice, then gulped and stood slowly. I had been dreading this moment. Fearfully, I glanced back at Kari, who gave me a reassuring smile. "She won't get that mad, Tai. It's not like it's the first time you've bunked off class."
"But it's the first time I ran from the principal," I groaned, then headed toward the kitchen.
'kaasan was there, standing with her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face. Behind her, tomatoes were half sliced on the cutting board.
"Hai, okaasan?"
"What in hell did you think you were doing, running from the principal like that?"
I shrugged. "Well, it was Nyusumi who started it."
She glared. "Just because Matt's band members ran off doesn't mean you have to, too."
"But they're not just 'Matt's band members'! They're my friends as well, and I couldn't chicken out on them!"
"Tai!" 'kaasan said with exasperation.
"What?!" I replied with equal irritation.
She sighed in disbelief. "You're willing to get in trouble just so you can do what your friends do?"
"Yes."
"Whatever," she said, giving up on me.
I suppressed a laugh at the annoyed look on her face, then went to get my jacket from my room. I was supposed to be meeting Nyusumi in front of the hospital in thirty minutes.
"So is 'kaasan really angry with you?" Kari asked as I walked in the room and snagged my jacket off the back of the chair.
"Nope, just annoyed." I grinned.
She giggled. "Tai!"
"What?!"
"You always end up annoying 'kaasan!"
"It's my mission in life. Anyways, gotta meet Ny now, promised to let him see Matt."
She gave me a Look. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No, but he insisted. But maybe Matt's not acting all unconcerned and giddy now."
She shrugged. "Maybe."
* * *
"Yo Tai, what's happ'nin?" Ny greeted me as I walked up the sidewalk.
"Not much, Ny, not much at all. My kaasan's annoyed about me cutting class yesterday. You?" I asked.
"Man, my mom don' care. She don' know I'm suspended yet, though." <---Have they resorted to acting like the black kids in my class? With all this man, and happ'nin and crap? Kowaiin! (scary)
"Neither does mine. She thinks I went to school. Apparently the principal decided not to tell her."
"Yeah. Well, come on. I got a date in a little bit."
I raised my eyes. "With who?"
"Tora. You know him?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
"Oh. Well you'd probably like him. Green eyes, red hair that he streaked with white. Claims he supports Japan with his hair."
"Oh, him. I've seen him around. He's pretty hott. But isn't he pretty popular with the girls?"
"Girls ain't much if they don't turn you on."
"True." I agreed. "Well, come on."
I began to lead the way into the hospital. I didn't have a visitor's pass of my own, but I had stopped by Matt's apartment and borrowed one from Mr. Ishida. Boarding the elevator, I pressed the button for the fourth floor. Beside me, Ny kept glancing around nervously. I've heard from the band that he doesn't really like hospitals. Ratsuii told me once, but I don't remember why. Something to do with a little boy.
The elevator stopped and the doors slid open. Ny thankfully stepped out after me and followed me down the hall to room 423, Matt's room.
Knocking, I opened the door and went in, Ny close on my heels.
"Matt," I said softly, thinking how fragile and thin he looked from this angle. It was like he was made of glass or something. He could be broken so easily... He turned. "Tai..."
End Part 3:3
Author's Notes: Woah, kinda sudden. I didn't plan to end it here at first, but then I changed my mind and did it anyway. Anyways, pay attention the stuff about Ny's family. It may be important later. I haven't decided though, so you may not need to. But it's better to anyways. Well, wasn't this such a long chapter? Three freakin parts to it. I guess doing the story from Tai's pov is easier. And for those of you who may be wondering, no, I STILL haven't forgotten about Kento. I've actually skipped ahead and written that part in a notebook, but I'm not sure when I can work it into the story. It's from Matt's pov, so any of the even numbered chapters. 4,6,8, however many chapters, whichever works out best.
part four:one