Rubicon, Chapter 1
Being a guardian isn't as easy as it first seems. But Tidus has made his choice, and he can't go back. Tidus+Isaaru, Maroda, Pacce, Alternate Reality, spoilers.
[Final Fantasy X] T, general/angst, 5319 words, published 01-03-07
This is an Alternate Universe/Reality fic. It is a "what if" fic, and diverges largely from canon really early on, though there are still many major canon elements scattered throughout. This fic basically answers the question, "What if Tidus didn't wash up on Besaid and eventually become Yuna's guardian? What if he became Isaaru's guardian instead?" It still basically follows Tidus throughout Spira, only with different people and from a slightly earlier point of view.
So yes, also as the summary notes, there is some Tidus/Isaaru in this. However, it is very mild. There is not even a physical aspect to their relationship. This fic mostly remains as genfic. If you are comfortable with slash hints, at least consider giving the fic a try ;) If you don't like slash, then you read the fic at your own discretion.
"Rubicon" is a song by VNV Nation. It's fucking awesome. I made an ffx music vid to it, that's how awesome it is. Rubicon
butterflie
[chapter one]
"Sin!"
"Sin ec lusa!"
"Ihtan ic! Ihtan ic!"
The silent calm of the ocean, previously so peaceful and soothing, was suddenly broken by panicked shouts coming from the lone ship taking refuge in those quiet waters. Several men rushed out from the ship's hold anxiously, and were immediately knocked to their feet by rumbling vibrations coming from beneath them. Tidus, who had already been knocked down after kicking some of the ship's cargo in anger, tried to get back up, but as he did so he was once more tumbled over on deck by following vibrations, head smashing painfully against the metal.
But soon enough the vibrations stopped. He shook off the pain in his head and scrambled up from where he'd fallen after all that, and went to the side of the ship, looking over the railing down at the water. He didn't understand what those "Al Bhed" men were saying, but he certainly understood the word Sin. He didn't need any translations to know that Sin was here. And after his first encounter with Sin in Zanarkand, he wanted nothing more to do with the monstrous creature.
Displaced water started bursting up from the ocean, and he backed up a bit nervously, watching in disbelief as it started spilling over onto the ship. "Woah!"
He was suddenly knocked to his feet and sliding on the deck in a rush of water. Before he knew it, he slid right off the ship and into the ocean. "Wah!" was the last thing he managed to yell, right before he got sucked up in a whirlpool of water. He tried to fight it, struggling desperately to get free, but the force of the water soon had him easily overpowered. Mercifully, he passed out.
* * *
Tidus didn't know how much later it was when he woke. His head was pounding and he felt extremely waterlogged, despite the fact that he'd apparently dried off while lying unconscious in the sun. He sat up slowly, looking around at his surroundings and wondering where he was now. He didn't recognize anything, but that wasn't really any surprise since he was no longer in Zanarkand. However, it was a bit disconcerting to find that once again he'd landed in an area without any people. He hoped this wouldn't be another place where he was trapped until strange people came off to kidnap him and force him to work again.
He struggled to his feet, absently putting a hand to his forehead as it violently protested his movements. He spotted the Longsword Auron had given him in Zanarkand, lying in the sand a few feet from where he'd landed. He went over to it and picked it up, brushing off sand and dirt before sliding it back in the sheath at his side.
He continued to look around the beach he'd washed up on, hoping for a way out of the area. He spotted some rocks some feet off that looked as if they could be climbed. The question was, did they lead anywhere? Or would he better off following the shore and just hope that led him to somewhere with people? He lifted a hand to shade his eyes and looked down the length of the shore. All he could see for miles down was sand. Not very promising.
But then, the rocks didn't offer much promise either. And yet, they still somehow held more appeal to him than the hot sand did. Decided, Tidus made his way over to the base of the rocks. Then he took a deep breath to steady himself, and reached out a hand, grasping a crevice in the rock and hauling himself up.
He climbed upwards for quite awhile, steadily pulling himself along the rocks, using all the holds he could find. After awhile he even got used to the heat of the sun beating down on him, and he stopped paying it any mind. He did not look down at any time, not even during the time that one of his feet slipped and he nearly had a heart attack thinking he was going to fall. Then he managed to get his foot back up against the rock, and on he continued to climb.
By the time he finally reached the top of the cliff he was weary and exhausted, and desperately wanted some water. He sat down in the grass to rest for a moment, looking around to see if his surroundings looked any better. He spotted some people walking in the far distance, and this cheered him greatly. He was near some civilization!
Reassured, Tidus got back on his feet and started heading towards the people, knowing that if he could just reach them then he could find out where to get food and water and rest. He eventually reached them, noting that they were traveling along a dirt road. He stopped the first person he saw that would pay him any attention, which happened to be a man traveling in some kind of weird greenish blue robes he'd never seen the likes of before. There was another man and a child traveling with him, also dressed in strange clothes, and Tidus wondered at their odd group. It seemed to more firmly cement the fact in his mind that he was no longer in Zanarkand. There was also a small part of his mind that couldn't help but note that the first man was rather attractive, but he quickly squashed that thought before it could really develop.
"Ah... excuse me," he said hesitantly.
The man stopped, and blinked at him in surprise. "Yes?"
"Could you tell me where I am? I'm a bit lost."
The man smiled. "Certainly. You are on currently on the Mi'ihen Highroad. Behind us is Luca, and in front of us is the path to Mushroom Rock Road, which will eventually take you to Djose Temple. Are you heading to Djose? You may follow me there, if you wish."
"I don't know where I'm heading," Tidus admitted. "I was actually kind of hoping to get back to Zanarkand." Too late he remembered the girl Rikku's warning to not mention Zanarkand-something about it being a holy place.
The man, however, didn't seemed to be offended. "Ah, the Zanarkand Ruins? You've got quite a long way to go then! Are you a summoner?"
Tidus blinked. "Summoner? What's that?" Rikku hadn't mentioned anything about summoners. Although, he was sure there was a lot Rikku hadn't mentioned in the short time they were together.
The man laughed. "I can see this is going to be a long story. I'm Isaaru, a summoner on my pilgrimage. These are my brothers, Maroda-" he motioned to the other man, "-and Pacce-" and here he indicated the small boy. "Why don't we go rest in that clearing over there and you can explain what's going on?"
Tidus scratched his head, feeling a bit sheepish. "Yeah, okay. Oh, and I'm Tidus." He started heading towards the clearing that Isaaru had indicated, the others right behind him. When they were all reasonably settled, Tidus launched into an explanation much like he'd given Rikku on the salvage ship.
Isaaru and his brothers listened without interruption, though Tidus sensed that, much like Rikku, Maroda didn't really believe him. He was starting to get the feeling that this would be a common reaction in this place, if he were to tell his story to everyone he met. When he reached the end of the story, explaining that he'd climbed up the rocks to even reach the road here, Isaaru at last showed a reaction.
"You climbed all that way up? Impressive." He looked thoughtful, and Tidus wondered a bit nervously what he was thinking.
"I know it sounds like an absurd story," he started. "Rikku suggested Sin's Toxin, but I don't think I'd have such clear memories of seventeen years in Zanarkand if that were so."
"Hmm." Isaaru smiled, a bit secretively. "I'm inclined to believe you, actually."
Tidus stared at him. So did Maroda. "You are?" They spoke at the same time, and Maroda glared at him. Tidus blinked, a bit taken back, not sure what to make of it.
"Yes," Isaaru said, ignoring his brother's scoffing. "There was a man who suddenly appeared here one day, about ten years ago. He claimed to anyone who would listen that he was from Zanarkand and was looking for a way back. He spent most of his time getting drunk, so many people were largely disinclined to believe him, but there were also quite a few people who did believe him, simply because the tales he told about Zanarkand sounded too detailed to be made up."
Tidus continued to stare at Isaaru. When he tried to speak, he found that his mouth had gone dry. "What-what happened to him?" he managed to get out, voice cracking ever so slightly. He hoped that Isaaru hadn't noticed.
Isaaru shrugged. "Eventually he was arrested for disturbing and upsetting many of the people of Spira. High Summoner Braska, who was then just Lord Braska, came along some months later and asked him to be his guardian. He accepted, and he was given permission to be released from jail to accompany Lord Braska on his pilgrimage."
"Where is he now?"
It was Maroda who answered that question. "No one knows. He disappeared at the end of the pilgrimage, and no one has seen him since. Maybe he went back to his Zanarkand," he said, the scorn evident in his voice.
Tidus didn't ask the man's name. He didn't really want to know the answer. He'd much rather convince himself that it was just a coincidence. "So... you believe me?" he asked, directing his question to Isaaru.
"As I said, I'm inclined to. You certainly don't seem to have any knowledge of Spira," Isaaru said.
"Spira? Is that what this world is called?" He recalled Auron mentioning it once, when he'd been very little.
"Uh-huh!" Pacce exclaimed. "This is Spira, and we're going to travel all around it!"
"Uh... why?"
"It is what all summoners on their pilgrimage do," Isaaru explained. They travel to the five temples in the various towns and cities of Spira, and they pray to the fayth to receive their power in the form of spirits called Aeons. Then they travel to the ruins of Zanarkand and receive the Final Aeon, and if they are strong enough they battle Sin and defeat him, bringing calm to Spira."
"I see," Tidus said, though many things about Isaaru's explanation sounded off to him, even if he wasn't able to place them just yet. "So then... you're a summoner?" He looked at Maroda and Pacce. "Are they summoners too?"
Maroda laughed for the first time, perhaps having decided he was harmless. "Hardly. We're his guardians. We protect him and help him on his journey. Every summoner on a pilgrimage has at least one guardian, and often two or sometimes three."
"Oh." He hesitated. "Um... this Luca place..." He stopped, not really sure what to say. He remembered that Rikku had mentioned Luca, saying he was sure to find someone he knew there, but as he didn't think he was suffering from Sin's toxin he really doubted it. However, that really left him with no clue what to do in Spira. He wanted to go home, but he wasn't sure he could. He wanted to find Auron, but he didn't know that the man was even here, or if he still wanted anything to do with Tidus.
"Yes? If you'd like, we will take you to Luca and stay with you until you can decide what you'd like to do."
"Really?" Tidus felt grateful, and somehow touched. He wondered if Isaaru was this kind to all strangers, or if many people in Spira were like this. People certainly never acted like that in Zanarkand. "That'd be great, thanks."
"Isaaru!" Maroda protested. "Have you lost your mind? We're in the middle of a pilgrimage! We don't even know this boy. And he's not even-"
But Isaaru was firm. "It doesn't matter. We're accompanying him to Luca."
"Ah-" Tidus looked down at the ground, where he'd been absently tracing pictures of Zanarkand in the dirt. "If it's too much trouble, I can just go on my own... You said it was that way, right?" he asked, pointing in the direction he thought Luca was.
"Really, it's no trouble at all. Please forgive my brother, we've just had a rough day." Maroda muttered something at that, but was ignored.
Tidus bit down on his lip, looking uncertainly at the two men. "Well, if you're sure..."
Isaaru smiled. "I am certain."
Pacce cheered and jumped up excitedly. "Alright! We get to go back to Luca! I love that city!" He started chattering eagerly to Tidus about Luca as the others got up and brushed themselves off before starting towards the city.
* * *
When they reached Luca some time later, Tidus found that he could only stop and stare in awe. He wasn't even quite sure why, as Zanarkand was certainly a bigger city than Luca and had at least three times as many people. Still, the city was so different than his own, and there was something about the ambience that suggested a much more welcoming friendliness than A-East had ever had. The people in A-East, by and large, were mostly concerned with themselves. They were nice, but they weren't really friendly.
Isaaru walked down the steps and over to where Tidus was standing at the rail, looking down on the city. He smiled, and gestured with an arm out towards all the buildings below. "This is Luca, the second largest city in Spira."
"What's the largest?" Tidus asked, wondering if that city was as big as Zanarkand.
"Bevelle. The last temple of the fayth is there, so we'll be journeying there later."
"'We'?"
"My brothers and I."
"Oh. Of course," Tidus said, feeling a bit stupid. "Uh... What all is here in the city, anyway?"
"Well, this is commonly thought of as our main city of entertainment, since our theater and our blitzball stadium are located here."
"Blitzball?" Tidus asked eagerly, as Maroda and Pacce also finally approached the railing. "You have blitzball in Spira?"
"Yes," Isaaru said, ignoring Maroda's scoff of disbelief. Our annual blitz tournament is actually taking place in a few days." He paused. "Didn't you say you played blitzball in your Zanarkand?"
Tidus grinned, and struck a pose. "Of course! You're only looking at the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, for the A-East section." He glared as Maroda burst out laughing. "It's true. Play me in blitz sometime, we'll see who's laughing then. I'm a phenomenal blitzer, everyone says so."
"Hah. I'm sure they do," Maroda said, a bit mocking.
Tidus decided it would be wiser not to respond to that.
So did Isaaru, apparently. "There's a café just below us. Would you like to head there and get something to eat?"
He suddenly remembered that he was starving. "Yeah! Sounds good."
"Alright then." Isaaru began walking down the path towards the city, and Tidus quickly followed. Pacce darted out ahead of them, running eagerly down the sidewalk. Maroda brought up the rear, still annoyed about Isaaru's sudden attachment to some stranger.
Tidus looked with interest at everything around him as they walked through the city to the café. The architecture of the buildings was so different from Zanarkand, and there seemed to be a lot less machina. For falling a thousand years into the future, he certainly felt like he'd gone back in time. He was reassured to see that the people weren't really that different-at least until he spotted a strange blue-skinned creature with webbed feet and yellow eyes, a creature that actually talked.
"What is that?" Tidus whispered to Isaaru, not wanting it to overhear him.
"A Hypello," Isaaru replied distractedly. "Pacce!" he then yelled. "Don't run too far ahead!"
Pacce halted at the yell and turned around. "Why not? I know the way!" he shouted back, which caused Isaaru to merely sigh and wave him on.
When they reached the café themselves, Pacce was already there and waiting, hopping around anxiously. "Come on, come on!" he said. "I'm hungry!"
Isaaru laughed. "Alright, alright," he said as they went inside. "Let's all eat something, shall we?"
They did as Isaaru suggested, quickly finding a place to sit and ordering something to eat. Tidus also asked for a glass of water, as he was still incredibly thirsty from his climb, and the subsequent walk down Mi'ihen Highroad to Luca.
"So... you're on a pilgrimage, right?" Tidus asked after eagerly gulping down two-thirds of the water.
"Yes," Isaaru agreed.
Tidus waited, but nothing more seemed forthcoming, so he asked another question. "So then, how many of those things have you got? The ones you said you needed. The aeon things."
"I have prayed to two of them. I first received the Ifrit fayth's promise in the port town of Kilika, and then the Valefor fayth's promise in the island village of Besaid. Now I journey to Djose, to pray to the fayth of Ixion."
"Sounds awesome! How do you, uh, use them, or whatever?"
"I call to them when I am in need of aid, and they answer my summons." Isaaru smiled. "Would you like to see them? I can summon one near the edge of the highroad, when we are ready to set out again."
Tidus grinned. "Yeah! That'd be great!"
"Isaaru-" Maroda started, ready once again to protest, before Pacce's shout cut him off.
"Oh no!"
Tidus looked at Pacce, who was staring down glumly at his food. He'd somehow accidentally knocked over his glass of water, and spilled it all over his meal, rendering most of it inedible.
Maroda sighed, and stood up. "We'll get you some more food. Don't worry about it," he said as he walked off to go place a new order for Pacce.
When he was gone, Tidus looked at Isaaru. "He doesn't seem to like me much," he said quietly.
Isaaru smiled again, a bit sadly. "He doesn't want me to be a summoner. He's unhappy about this pilgrimage. It is really me that he is angry at, not you."
"Oh." Tidus frowned, thinking. "But, you're doing good for Spira, right? Shouldn't he be happy?"
"Mmm," Isaaru murmured, not answering. He looked thoughtful again, and now rather more sad as well. Tidus saw the expression on his face and decided not to ask again. Whatever the answer was, he probably really didn't want to know.
And when Maroda came back with Pacce's new plate of food, he dropped the questions altogether, turning instead to the one thing he knew plenty about-blitzball.
"Today we shall get you some supplies."
"Huh?" Tidus looked up from where he'd been lounging on the bed. Isaaru was standing in the doorway, Pacce hovering behind him. Maroda was nowhere in sight, but then, Tidus hadn't really expected him to be. Maroda seemed to take every chance he could get at avoiding Tidus. It was almost as if Maroda was pretending that if he didn't see Tidus, then Tidus didn't exist.
"Today we get you supplies," Isaaru repeated.
Tidus frowned. "Supplies? What do you mean?"
"Well, regardless of what you eventually decide to do in Spira, if you want to at least try and get back to Zanarkand, you'll need certain supplies to survive on. There are many tough fiends here, and even the most legendary of fighters still have trouble with some of them."
That did not sound good in the least. "What kind of supplies do I need, then?"
"Why not come with me and find out?"
Tidus sighed and sat up, and hopped off the bed. "Alright, I'll bite. Nothing better to do but sit around here and think about things I don't even understand, anyway."
* * *
"These are supplies?" Tidus asked as they walked back in the inn, arms loaded down with all the stuff they'd bought earlier. Some of it he was familiar with, as they had it back in his Zanarkand-common household products. Other things he'd never heard of before.
"Echo Screen? Soft? Ether? What is this stuff?"
"Various healing items, should you get inflicted by certain fiend spells, or wounded, or knocked unconscious."
Tidus blinked, setting them all down and beginning to organize them. "...If I'm knocked unconscious, how am I supposed to use anything?"
Isaaru paused, and then gave an embarrassed laugh as he joined Tidus in the sorting. "I had not thought of it that way. I just thought-that is, I am used to people traveling with others. Rarely do you find anyone traveling alone in Spira-it's too dangerous."
"Oh. Then, can I be your guardian?" he blurted out suddenly, reddening. He'd been thinking about it for awhile, but he hadn't actually planned on asking. Somehow it seemed too rude. Yet hearing Isaaru constantly speak as if Tidus would be with them, he changed his mind. Isaaru seemed to want him along, and he rather wanted to go. It wasn't just the attraction-he sensed that he had a friend in Isaaru, and he genuinely liked the man.
Isaaru looked surprised at the question, though, and for a moment Tidus wondered if he'd misinterpreted Isaaru's words after all. Maybe Isaaru didn't want him along. He knew Maroda certainly wouldn't. He shouldn't have said anything-
"Are you sure?" Isaaru asked, interrupting his thoughts. "It will be a long and dangerous journey. The road to Zanarkand will be rough."
Tidus grinned, relieved. "Weren't you just saying that it was going to be dangerous for me anyway? How will this be any different?"
"True," Isaaru conceded. He was quiet for a moment, thinking. Tidus held his breath, waiting anxiously for an answer. "Very well then. I accept you as my guardian," Isaaru said at last. Tidus smiled, about to thank him, but Isaaru went on. "However, I will not hold you to it. If at any time you do not wish to be my guardian, you are certainly free to leave and travel Spira on your own."
"Ha!" He jumped in the air, pumping a fist up in excitement. "Don't worry, I won't leave, no matter what!"
"You say that now," Isaaru murmured softly.
Tidus stopped mid-jump, and looked at him sharply. He did not ask what Isaaru meant by that, even though he desperately wanted to. He knew, though, that he would get no answers. Whatever secrets Isaaru held about his pilgrimage, he was not yet ready to divulge them. Tidus figured he'd find out in due time, since he would now be traveling with them. It wouldn't do to press him now.
"Now that I've decided what I'm going to do, when are we leaving?" he asked. He liked Luca, but he was kind of anxious to get going. He hoped to be able to find some answers about Zanarkand while traveling with Isaaru.
"We'll leave tomorrow," Isaaru said. "Early morning, before all the crowds arrive for the blitzball tournament."
"Oh yeah, the tournament...." Tidus sank down onto the bed, disappointed. He'd wanted to see that. Still, maybe it was better if he didn't. It would probably remind him too much of Zanarkand. That, or he'd wind up finding himself right in the middle of it and delaying Isaaru even more.
Either way, he didn't really need to go.
He flopped over backwards, flinging his arms out to his sides. "What do we do now?"
"We rest," Isaaru said, sounding somewhat apologetic. "You'll need all your strength for the road ahead. As I have said, it will be difficult. Sometimes we won't have the chance to rest. It's best to take it now, while you can."
Tidus sighed, resisting the urge to groan at the thought of hours of boredom ahead. "Mind if I explore the city a bit? I've never really seen it before, and it won't tire me out," he said, a bit defensively. He liked Isaaru and he understood the need for rest, but there was no way he would be able to sit around the inn doing nothing all afternoon.
"Of course. You don't have to stay by my side every second, Tidus. You are free to look around as you please." He gave a quick smile to take any potential sting out of the words.
"Thanks! I'll be back later, then," Tidus said, getting back off the bed. He started towards the door, then hesitated. "Uh... I don't need to take any of those with me, do I?" he asked, pointing at all the supplies he'd bought a little while ago.
"Unless you have plans to leave Luca, then no. Fiends rarely come into the cities themselves. No one is really sure why, but most likely so many people gathered in one place scare them off."
* * *
"I'm going to head to the café, either of you want to come?" Tidus had spent most of the day exploring the city, from the stadium to the theater to the personal residences, completely forgetting about an afternoon meal, and now that he'd at last returned to the inn, he was hungry.
Pacce shook his head. "No thanks, I ate earlier."
Isaaru also declined. "Thank you, but I should probably use this time to talk to Maroda."
"Ah," Tidus said, feeling awkward. He knew Maroda wouldn't be happy about him 'tagging along' with them, and he was glad he wouldn't be around for that explosion of a conversation. "Okay then." He shrugged and headed out, grabbing some of the gil from the stash Isaaru had given him. At the time, he'd questioned why Isaaru was being so kind, but now he was just glad to have it.
He walked down the path towards the café aimlessly, not really thinking about what he was doing, or paying much attention to where he was going. Just before he got there, he bumped into someone, stumbling backwards and nearly falling. He looked up, already forming an apology, but the words died on his lips as he got a good look at who he'd ran into.
"Auron!" he exclaimed, feeling happy and angry and weirded out all at once. He paused. He wasn't sure what to make of that internal reaction. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you."
Tidus sighed. He'd only just met the man again and already Auron was being his usual cryptic self. "Waiting for me? How'd you even know I'd be here?"
Auron smirked. "Blitzball."
"Eheh..." Tidus scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, well..." He frowned, remembering just how he'd finally arrived at Luca, and how he'd even come to wind up in Spira, and the anger of that overrode the relief of seeing a familiar face. "This is all your fault, you know!"
Auron didn't say anything, merely looked at him, his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses, as they usually were.
Tidus stood there and glared back at him, waiting for him to say something, getting angrier by the minute when he didn't. "Well? Aren't you going to say something?!" he demanded at last. He quieted for a moment, and took a deep breath, trying to calm a bit. "Who are you, anyway? This is where you came from, isn't it? How did you know my old man? I know he wound up here when he disappeared..."
Auron sighed, and walked over to a small area out of the way of the main path, beckoning for Tidus to follow. "Jecht... He, Braska, and I traveled together ten years ago. Together we defeated Sin. Then I went to Zanarkand, where I watched over you, so that one day I could bring you to Spira."
Tidus turned away. He'd understood the truth, but having that realization confirmed out loud still hurt. "Why did it have to be me?"
"Jecht asked me to," Auron said.
He glared at the wall of a nearby building. It figured Jecht would find ways to torment him even after he died. If he had even died... "Is he alive?"
"It depends on what you mean by alive. He is no longer human." He paused. "Jecht is Sin."
The words hit Tidus hard, and he stood there in shock, wondering if he'd somehow managed to mishear Auron. "W-what? It can't be..."
"It is. Jecht is Sin."
Tidus felt faint, and he wondered if he was going to pass out. That would be embarrassing. Auron seemed to realize this, and somehow steered him towards the café without ever touching him. He sat them down at a table near the entrance. "Ah," Tidus said. "I was originally coming here to get some food..."
Auron nodded, and waved someone over. Tidus absently wondered why Maroda hadn't done that the other day, but the thought was quickly forgotten when he looked at Auron again. "Why did you bring me here?"
Auron appeared about to answer, but they were interrupted. "Can I get you anything?"
They both looked at the man standing there waiting expectantly, mildly annoyed. Tidus placed his order quickly, and the man disappeared, presumably off to prepare his food. When he was gone, Tidus repeated his question for Auron. "Why did you bring me here?"
"You were about to pass out."
Tidus made a frustrated noise, knowing that Auron was being purposely difficult. "Argh, no!" He glared at Auron. "I mean, why Spira? Why did Jecht want me to be brought to Spira?"
"Come with me and you'll find out for yourself," Auron said.
Tidus looked away. "...I can't." He paused, thinking. Maybe he'd been hasty in wanting to go with Isaaru. He honestly hadn't expected to find Auron in Spira though, and certainly not in Luca. "I... I already promised someone I'd stay with them." He didn't mention that the someone had said he was free to leave at any time he wished. Auron probably knew that anyway.
The food arrived, and Tidus absently paid the bill, then started to eat.
Auron didn't say anything for a long moment, and when he did speak he didn't sound upset in the least. "I see."
Tidus could still tell he felt hurt, however, though he was acting as if it didn't affect him in the least. He tried to be so stoic and calm all the time, but Tidus knew he hadn't always been that way, that when he'd first came to Zanarkand he'd been a lot more open and expressive. It was only over the next couple of years that he'd closed up and developed that calm and usually infuriating manner. And yet sometimes, for all his passiveness, Tidus could still see right through him.
He felt bad about rejecting Auron, and tried to explain. "I met this summoner, he's called Isaaru. He helped me out, brought me to Luca and got me supplies and stuff. And well, I kinda... I kind of promised that I'd be his guardian. So I can't-I don't..." He trailed off, not sure how to express it. He didn't really feel that he owed Isaaru something, but yet he didn't really feel free to just leave him, either.
But it didn't seem to matter. "I understand, "Auron said. "It's fine. Do what you want." He looked on the verge of saying something else, but then he stood up abruptly and started to leave.
Tidus knew it wasn't fine at all, and he wondered if he was making a mistake in not going with Auron. He almost called him back, almost said, No, wait, you're right, I'll go with you after all, but something held him back. Then Auron disappeared out the door and it didn't matter anymore. He shoved in another mouthful of food and tried to convince himself he was doing the right thing.
next chapter
[Final Fantasy X] T, general/angst, 5319 words, published 01-03-07
This is an Alternate Universe/Reality fic. It is a "what if" fic, and diverges largely from canon really early on, though there are still many major canon elements scattered throughout. This fic basically answers the question, "What if Tidus didn't wash up on Besaid and eventually become Yuna's guardian? What if he became Isaaru's guardian instead?" It still basically follows Tidus throughout Spira, only with different people and from a slightly earlier point of view.
So yes, also as the summary notes, there is some Tidus/Isaaru in this. However, it is very mild. There is not even a physical aspect to their relationship. This fic mostly remains as genfic. If you are comfortable with slash hints, at least consider giving the fic a try ;) If you don't like slash, then you read the fic at your own discretion.
"Rubicon" is a song by VNV Nation. It's fucking awesome. I made an ffx music vid to it, that's how awesome it is. Rubicon
butterflie
[chapter one]
"Sin!"
"Sin ec lusa!"
"Ihtan ic! Ihtan ic!"
The silent calm of the ocean, previously so peaceful and soothing, was suddenly broken by panicked shouts coming from the lone ship taking refuge in those quiet waters. Several men rushed out from the ship's hold anxiously, and were immediately knocked to their feet by rumbling vibrations coming from beneath them. Tidus, who had already been knocked down after kicking some of the ship's cargo in anger, tried to get back up, but as he did so he was once more tumbled over on deck by following vibrations, head smashing painfully against the metal.
But soon enough the vibrations stopped. He shook off the pain in his head and scrambled up from where he'd fallen after all that, and went to the side of the ship, looking over the railing down at the water. He didn't understand what those "Al Bhed" men were saying, but he certainly understood the word Sin. He didn't need any translations to know that Sin was here. And after his first encounter with Sin in Zanarkand, he wanted nothing more to do with the monstrous creature.
Displaced water started bursting up from the ocean, and he backed up a bit nervously, watching in disbelief as it started spilling over onto the ship. "Woah!"
He was suddenly knocked to his feet and sliding on the deck in a rush of water. Before he knew it, he slid right off the ship and into the ocean. "Wah!" was the last thing he managed to yell, right before he got sucked up in a whirlpool of water. He tried to fight it, struggling desperately to get free, but the force of the water soon had him easily overpowered. Mercifully, he passed out.
* * *
Tidus didn't know how much later it was when he woke. His head was pounding and he felt extremely waterlogged, despite the fact that he'd apparently dried off while lying unconscious in the sun. He sat up slowly, looking around at his surroundings and wondering where he was now. He didn't recognize anything, but that wasn't really any surprise since he was no longer in Zanarkand. However, it was a bit disconcerting to find that once again he'd landed in an area without any people. He hoped this wouldn't be another place where he was trapped until strange people came off to kidnap him and force him to work again.
He struggled to his feet, absently putting a hand to his forehead as it violently protested his movements. He spotted the Longsword Auron had given him in Zanarkand, lying in the sand a few feet from where he'd landed. He went over to it and picked it up, brushing off sand and dirt before sliding it back in the sheath at his side.
He continued to look around the beach he'd washed up on, hoping for a way out of the area. He spotted some rocks some feet off that looked as if they could be climbed. The question was, did they lead anywhere? Or would he better off following the shore and just hope that led him to somewhere with people? He lifted a hand to shade his eyes and looked down the length of the shore. All he could see for miles down was sand. Not very promising.
But then, the rocks didn't offer much promise either. And yet, they still somehow held more appeal to him than the hot sand did. Decided, Tidus made his way over to the base of the rocks. Then he took a deep breath to steady himself, and reached out a hand, grasping a crevice in the rock and hauling himself up.
He climbed upwards for quite awhile, steadily pulling himself along the rocks, using all the holds he could find. After awhile he even got used to the heat of the sun beating down on him, and he stopped paying it any mind. He did not look down at any time, not even during the time that one of his feet slipped and he nearly had a heart attack thinking he was going to fall. Then he managed to get his foot back up against the rock, and on he continued to climb.
By the time he finally reached the top of the cliff he was weary and exhausted, and desperately wanted some water. He sat down in the grass to rest for a moment, looking around to see if his surroundings looked any better. He spotted some people walking in the far distance, and this cheered him greatly. He was near some civilization!
Reassured, Tidus got back on his feet and started heading towards the people, knowing that if he could just reach them then he could find out where to get food and water and rest. He eventually reached them, noting that they were traveling along a dirt road. He stopped the first person he saw that would pay him any attention, which happened to be a man traveling in some kind of weird greenish blue robes he'd never seen the likes of before. There was another man and a child traveling with him, also dressed in strange clothes, and Tidus wondered at their odd group. It seemed to more firmly cement the fact in his mind that he was no longer in Zanarkand. There was also a small part of his mind that couldn't help but note that the first man was rather attractive, but he quickly squashed that thought before it could really develop.
"Ah... excuse me," he said hesitantly.
The man stopped, and blinked at him in surprise. "Yes?"
"Could you tell me where I am? I'm a bit lost."
The man smiled. "Certainly. You are on currently on the Mi'ihen Highroad. Behind us is Luca, and in front of us is the path to Mushroom Rock Road, which will eventually take you to Djose Temple. Are you heading to Djose? You may follow me there, if you wish."
"I don't know where I'm heading," Tidus admitted. "I was actually kind of hoping to get back to Zanarkand." Too late he remembered the girl Rikku's warning to not mention Zanarkand-something about it being a holy place.
The man, however, didn't seemed to be offended. "Ah, the Zanarkand Ruins? You've got quite a long way to go then! Are you a summoner?"
Tidus blinked. "Summoner? What's that?" Rikku hadn't mentioned anything about summoners. Although, he was sure there was a lot Rikku hadn't mentioned in the short time they were together.
The man laughed. "I can see this is going to be a long story. I'm Isaaru, a summoner on my pilgrimage. These are my brothers, Maroda-" he motioned to the other man, "-and Pacce-" and here he indicated the small boy. "Why don't we go rest in that clearing over there and you can explain what's going on?"
Tidus scratched his head, feeling a bit sheepish. "Yeah, okay. Oh, and I'm Tidus." He started heading towards the clearing that Isaaru had indicated, the others right behind him. When they were all reasonably settled, Tidus launched into an explanation much like he'd given Rikku on the salvage ship.
Isaaru and his brothers listened without interruption, though Tidus sensed that, much like Rikku, Maroda didn't really believe him. He was starting to get the feeling that this would be a common reaction in this place, if he were to tell his story to everyone he met. When he reached the end of the story, explaining that he'd climbed up the rocks to even reach the road here, Isaaru at last showed a reaction.
"You climbed all that way up? Impressive." He looked thoughtful, and Tidus wondered a bit nervously what he was thinking.
"I know it sounds like an absurd story," he started. "Rikku suggested Sin's Toxin, but I don't think I'd have such clear memories of seventeen years in Zanarkand if that were so."
"Hmm." Isaaru smiled, a bit secretively. "I'm inclined to believe you, actually."
Tidus stared at him. So did Maroda. "You are?" They spoke at the same time, and Maroda glared at him. Tidus blinked, a bit taken back, not sure what to make of it.
"Yes," Isaaru said, ignoring his brother's scoffing. "There was a man who suddenly appeared here one day, about ten years ago. He claimed to anyone who would listen that he was from Zanarkand and was looking for a way back. He spent most of his time getting drunk, so many people were largely disinclined to believe him, but there were also quite a few people who did believe him, simply because the tales he told about Zanarkand sounded too detailed to be made up."
Tidus continued to stare at Isaaru. When he tried to speak, he found that his mouth had gone dry. "What-what happened to him?" he managed to get out, voice cracking ever so slightly. He hoped that Isaaru hadn't noticed.
Isaaru shrugged. "Eventually he was arrested for disturbing and upsetting many of the people of Spira. High Summoner Braska, who was then just Lord Braska, came along some months later and asked him to be his guardian. He accepted, and he was given permission to be released from jail to accompany Lord Braska on his pilgrimage."
"Where is he now?"
It was Maroda who answered that question. "No one knows. He disappeared at the end of the pilgrimage, and no one has seen him since. Maybe he went back to his Zanarkand," he said, the scorn evident in his voice.
Tidus didn't ask the man's name. He didn't really want to know the answer. He'd much rather convince himself that it was just a coincidence. "So... you believe me?" he asked, directing his question to Isaaru.
"As I said, I'm inclined to. You certainly don't seem to have any knowledge of Spira," Isaaru said.
"Spira? Is that what this world is called?" He recalled Auron mentioning it once, when he'd been very little.
"Uh-huh!" Pacce exclaimed. "This is Spira, and we're going to travel all around it!"
"Uh... why?"
"It is what all summoners on their pilgrimage do," Isaaru explained. They travel to the five temples in the various towns and cities of Spira, and they pray to the fayth to receive their power in the form of spirits called Aeons. Then they travel to the ruins of Zanarkand and receive the Final Aeon, and if they are strong enough they battle Sin and defeat him, bringing calm to Spira."
"I see," Tidus said, though many things about Isaaru's explanation sounded off to him, even if he wasn't able to place them just yet. "So then... you're a summoner?" He looked at Maroda and Pacce. "Are they summoners too?"
Maroda laughed for the first time, perhaps having decided he was harmless. "Hardly. We're his guardians. We protect him and help him on his journey. Every summoner on a pilgrimage has at least one guardian, and often two or sometimes three."
"Oh." He hesitated. "Um... this Luca place..." He stopped, not really sure what to say. He remembered that Rikku had mentioned Luca, saying he was sure to find someone he knew there, but as he didn't think he was suffering from Sin's toxin he really doubted it. However, that really left him with no clue what to do in Spira. He wanted to go home, but he wasn't sure he could. He wanted to find Auron, but he didn't know that the man was even here, or if he still wanted anything to do with Tidus.
"Yes? If you'd like, we will take you to Luca and stay with you until you can decide what you'd like to do."
"Really?" Tidus felt grateful, and somehow touched. He wondered if Isaaru was this kind to all strangers, or if many people in Spira were like this. People certainly never acted like that in Zanarkand. "That'd be great, thanks."
"Isaaru!" Maroda protested. "Have you lost your mind? We're in the middle of a pilgrimage! We don't even know this boy. And he's not even-"
But Isaaru was firm. "It doesn't matter. We're accompanying him to Luca."
"Ah-" Tidus looked down at the ground, where he'd been absently tracing pictures of Zanarkand in the dirt. "If it's too much trouble, I can just go on my own... You said it was that way, right?" he asked, pointing in the direction he thought Luca was.
"Really, it's no trouble at all. Please forgive my brother, we've just had a rough day." Maroda muttered something at that, but was ignored.
Tidus bit down on his lip, looking uncertainly at the two men. "Well, if you're sure..."
Isaaru smiled. "I am certain."
Pacce cheered and jumped up excitedly. "Alright! We get to go back to Luca! I love that city!" He started chattering eagerly to Tidus about Luca as the others got up and brushed themselves off before starting towards the city.
* * *
When they reached Luca some time later, Tidus found that he could only stop and stare in awe. He wasn't even quite sure why, as Zanarkand was certainly a bigger city than Luca and had at least three times as many people. Still, the city was so different than his own, and there was something about the ambience that suggested a much more welcoming friendliness than A-East had ever had. The people in A-East, by and large, were mostly concerned with themselves. They were nice, but they weren't really friendly.
Isaaru walked down the steps and over to where Tidus was standing at the rail, looking down on the city. He smiled, and gestured with an arm out towards all the buildings below. "This is Luca, the second largest city in Spira."
"What's the largest?" Tidus asked, wondering if that city was as big as Zanarkand.
"Bevelle. The last temple of the fayth is there, so we'll be journeying there later."
"'We'?"
"My brothers and I."
"Oh. Of course," Tidus said, feeling a bit stupid. "Uh... What all is here in the city, anyway?"
"Well, this is commonly thought of as our main city of entertainment, since our theater and our blitzball stadium are located here."
"Blitzball?" Tidus asked eagerly, as Maroda and Pacce also finally approached the railing. "You have blitzball in Spira?"
"Yes," Isaaru said, ignoring Maroda's scoff of disbelief. Our annual blitz tournament is actually taking place in a few days." He paused. "Didn't you say you played blitzball in your Zanarkand?"
Tidus grinned, and struck a pose. "Of course! You're only looking at the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, for the A-East section." He glared as Maroda burst out laughing. "It's true. Play me in blitz sometime, we'll see who's laughing then. I'm a phenomenal blitzer, everyone says so."
"Hah. I'm sure they do," Maroda said, a bit mocking.
Tidus decided it would be wiser not to respond to that.
So did Isaaru, apparently. "There's a café just below us. Would you like to head there and get something to eat?"
He suddenly remembered that he was starving. "Yeah! Sounds good."
"Alright then." Isaaru began walking down the path towards the city, and Tidus quickly followed. Pacce darted out ahead of them, running eagerly down the sidewalk. Maroda brought up the rear, still annoyed about Isaaru's sudden attachment to some stranger.
Tidus looked with interest at everything around him as they walked through the city to the café. The architecture of the buildings was so different from Zanarkand, and there seemed to be a lot less machina. For falling a thousand years into the future, he certainly felt like he'd gone back in time. He was reassured to see that the people weren't really that different-at least until he spotted a strange blue-skinned creature with webbed feet and yellow eyes, a creature that actually talked.
"What is that?" Tidus whispered to Isaaru, not wanting it to overhear him.
"A Hypello," Isaaru replied distractedly. "Pacce!" he then yelled. "Don't run too far ahead!"
Pacce halted at the yell and turned around. "Why not? I know the way!" he shouted back, which caused Isaaru to merely sigh and wave him on.
When they reached the café themselves, Pacce was already there and waiting, hopping around anxiously. "Come on, come on!" he said. "I'm hungry!"
Isaaru laughed. "Alright, alright," he said as they went inside. "Let's all eat something, shall we?"
They did as Isaaru suggested, quickly finding a place to sit and ordering something to eat. Tidus also asked for a glass of water, as he was still incredibly thirsty from his climb, and the subsequent walk down Mi'ihen Highroad to Luca.
"So... you're on a pilgrimage, right?" Tidus asked after eagerly gulping down two-thirds of the water.
"Yes," Isaaru agreed.
Tidus waited, but nothing more seemed forthcoming, so he asked another question. "So then, how many of those things have you got? The ones you said you needed. The aeon things."
"I have prayed to two of them. I first received the Ifrit fayth's promise in the port town of Kilika, and then the Valefor fayth's promise in the island village of Besaid. Now I journey to Djose, to pray to the fayth of Ixion."
"Sounds awesome! How do you, uh, use them, or whatever?"
"I call to them when I am in need of aid, and they answer my summons." Isaaru smiled. "Would you like to see them? I can summon one near the edge of the highroad, when we are ready to set out again."
Tidus grinned. "Yeah! That'd be great!"
"Isaaru-" Maroda started, ready once again to protest, before Pacce's shout cut him off.
"Oh no!"
Tidus looked at Pacce, who was staring down glumly at his food. He'd somehow accidentally knocked over his glass of water, and spilled it all over his meal, rendering most of it inedible.
Maroda sighed, and stood up. "We'll get you some more food. Don't worry about it," he said as he walked off to go place a new order for Pacce.
When he was gone, Tidus looked at Isaaru. "He doesn't seem to like me much," he said quietly.
Isaaru smiled again, a bit sadly. "He doesn't want me to be a summoner. He's unhappy about this pilgrimage. It is really me that he is angry at, not you."
"Oh." Tidus frowned, thinking. "But, you're doing good for Spira, right? Shouldn't he be happy?"
"Mmm," Isaaru murmured, not answering. He looked thoughtful again, and now rather more sad as well. Tidus saw the expression on his face and decided not to ask again. Whatever the answer was, he probably really didn't want to know.
And when Maroda came back with Pacce's new plate of food, he dropped the questions altogether, turning instead to the one thing he knew plenty about-blitzball.
"Today we shall get you some supplies."
"Huh?" Tidus looked up from where he'd been lounging on the bed. Isaaru was standing in the doorway, Pacce hovering behind him. Maroda was nowhere in sight, but then, Tidus hadn't really expected him to be. Maroda seemed to take every chance he could get at avoiding Tidus. It was almost as if Maroda was pretending that if he didn't see Tidus, then Tidus didn't exist.
"Today we get you supplies," Isaaru repeated.
Tidus frowned. "Supplies? What do you mean?"
"Well, regardless of what you eventually decide to do in Spira, if you want to at least try and get back to Zanarkand, you'll need certain supplies to survive on. There are many tough fiends here, and even the most legendary of fighters still have trouble with some of them."
That did not sound good in the least. "What kind of supplies do I need, then?"
"Why not come with me and find out?"
Tidus sighed and sat up, and hopped off the bed. "Alright, I'll bite. Nothing better to do but sit around here and think about things I don't even understand, anyway."
* * *
"These are supplies?" Tidus asked as they walked back in the inn, arms loaded down with all the stuff they'd bought earlier. Some of it he was familiar with, as they had it back in his Zanarkand-common household products. Other things he'd never heard of before.
"Echo Screen? Soft? Ether? What is this stuff?"
"Various healing items, should you get inflicted by certain fiend spells, or wounded, or knocked unconscious."
Tidus blinked, setting them all down and beginning to organize them. "...If I'm knocked unconscious, how am I supposed to use anything?"
Isaaru paused, and then gave an embarrassed laugh as he joined Tidus in the sorting. "I had not thought of it that way. I just thought-that is, I am used to people traveling with others. Rarely do you find anyone traveling alone in Spira-it's too dangerous."
"Oh. Then, can I be your guardian?" he blurted out suddenly, reddening. He'd been thinking about it for awhile, but he hadn't actually planned on asking. Somehow it seemed too rude. Yet hearing Isaaru constantly speak as if Tidus would be with them, he changed his mind. Isaaru seemed to want him along, and he rather wanted to go. It wasn't just the attraction-he sensed that he had a friend in Isaaru, and he genuinely liked the man.
Isaaru looked surprised at the question, though, and for a moment Tidus wondered if he'd misinterpreted Isaaru's words after all. Maybe Isaaru didn't want him along. He knew Maroda certainly wouldn't. He shouldn't have said anything-
"Are you sure?" Isaaru asked, interrupting his thoughts. "It will be a long and dangerous journey. The road to Zanarkand will be rough."
Tidus grinned, relieved. "Weren't you just saying that it was going to be dangerous for me anyway? How will this be any different?"
"True," Isaaru conceded. He was quiet for a moment, thinking. Tidus held his breath, waiting anxiously for an answer. "Very well then. I accept you as my guardian," Isaaru said at last. Tidus smiled, about to thank him, but Isaaru went on. "However, I will not hold you to it. If at any time you do not wish to be my guardian, you are certainly free to leave and travel Spira on your own."
"Ha!" He jumped in the air, pumping a fist up in excitement. "Don't worry, I won't leave, no matter what!"
"You say that now," Isaaru murmured softly.
Tidus stopped mid-jump, and looked at him sharply. He did not ask what Isaaru meant by that, even though he desperately wanted to. He knew, though, that he would get no answers. Whatever secrets Isaaru held about his pilgrimage, he was not yet ready to divulge them. Tidus figured he'd find out in due time, since he would now be traveling with them. It wouldn't do to press him now.
"Now that I've decided what I'm going to do, when are we leaving?" he asked. He liked Luca, but he was kind of anxious to get going. He hoped to be able to find some answers about Zanarkand while traveling with Isaaru.
"We'll leave tomorrow," Isaaru said. "Early morning, before all the crowds arrive for the blitzball tournament."
"Oh yeah, the tournament...." Tidus sank down onto the bed, disappointed. He'd wanted to see that. Still, maybe it was better if he didn't. It would probably remind him too much of Zanarkand. That, or he'd wind up finding himself right in the middle of it and delaying Isaaru even more.
Either way, he didn't really need to go.
He flopped over backwards, flinging his arms out to his sides. "What do we do now?"
"We rest," Isaaru said, sounding somewhat apologetic. "You'll need all your strength for the road ahead. As I have said, it will be difficult. Sometimes we won't have the chance to rest. It's best to take it now, while you can."
Tidus sighed, resisting the urge to groan at the thought of hours of boredom ahead. "Mind if I explore the city a bit? I've never really seen it before, and it won't tire me out," he said, a bit defensively. He liked Isaaru and he understood the need for rest, but there was no way he would be able to sit around the inn doing nothing all afternoon.
"Of course. You don't have to stay by my side every second, Tidus. You are free to look around as you please." He gave a quick smile to take any potential sting out of the words.
"Thanks! I'll be back later, then," Tidus said, getting back off the bed. He started towards the door, then hesitated. "Uh... I don't need to take any of those with me, do I?" he asked, pointing at all the supplies he'd bought a little while ago.
"Unless you have plans to leave Luca, then no. Fiends rarely come into the cities themselves. No one is really sure why, but most likely so many people gathered in one place scare them off."
* * *
"I'm going to head to the café, either of you want to come?" Tidus had spent most of the day exploring the city, from the stadium to the theater to the personal residences, completely forgetting about an afternoon meal, and now that he'd at last returned to the inn, he was hungry.
Pacce shook his head. "No thanks, I ate earlier."
Isaaru also declined. "Thank you, but I should probably use this time to talk to Maroda."
"Ah," Tidus said, feeling awkward. He knew Maroda wouldn't be happy about him 'tagging along' with them, and he was glad he wouldn't be around for that explosion of a conversation. "Okay then." He shrugged and headed out, grabbing some of the gil from the stash Isaaru had given him. At the time, he'd questioned why Isaaru was being so kind, but now he was just glad to have it.
He walked down the path towards the café aimlessly, not really thinking about what he was doing, or paying much attention to where he was going. Just before he got there, he bumped into someone, stumbling backwards and nearly falling. He looked up, already forming an apology, but the words died on his lips as he got a good look at who he'd ran into.
"Auron!" he exclaimed, feeling happy and angry and weirded out all at once. He paused. He wasn't sure what to make of that internal reaction. "Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you."
Tidus sighed. He'd only just met the man again and already Auron was being his usual cryptic self. "Waiting for me? How'd you even know I'd be here?"
Auron smirked. "Blitzball."
"Eheh..." Tidus scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah, well..." He frowned, remembering just how he'd finally arrived at Luca, and how he'd even come to wind up in Spira, and the anger of that overrode the relief of seeing a familiar face. "This is all your fault, you know!"
Auron didn't say anything, merely looked at him, his eyes hidden behind his dark glasses, as they usually were.
Tidus stood there and glared back at him, waiting for him to say something, getting angrier by the minute when he didn't. "Well? Aren't you going to say something?!" he demanded at last. He quieted for a moment, and took a deep breath, trying to calm a bit. "Who are you, anyway? This is where you came from, isn't it? How did you know my old man? I know he wound up here when he disappeared..."
Auron sighed, and walked over to a small area out of the way of the main path, beckoning for Tidus to follow. "Jecht... He, Braska, and I traveled together ten years ago. Together we defeated Sin. Then I went to Zanarkand, where I watched over you, so that one day I could bring you to Spira."
Tidus turned away. He'd understood the truth, but having that realization confirmed out loud still hurt. "Why did it have to be me?"
"Jecht asked me to," Auron said.
He glared at the wall of a nearby building. It figured Jecht would find ways to torment him even after he died. If he had even died... "Is he alive?"
"It depends on what you mean by alive. He is no longer human." He paused. "Jecht is Sin."
The words hit Tidus hard, and he stood there in shock, wondering if he'd somehow managed to mishear Auron. "W-what? It can't be..."
"It is. Jecht is Sin."
Tidus felt faint, and he wondered if he was going to pass out. That would be embarrassing. Auron seemed to realize this, and somehow steered him towards the café without ever touching him. He sat them down at a table near the entrance. "Ah," Tidus said. "I was originally coming here to get some food..."
Auron nodded, and waved someone over. Tidus absently wondered why Maroda hadn't done that the other day, but the thought was quickly forgotten when he looked at Auron again. "Why did you bring me here?"
Auron appeared about to answer, but they were interrupted. "Can I get you anything?"
They both looked at the man standing there waiting expectantly, mildly annoyed. Tidus placed his order quickly, and the man disappeared, presumably off to prepare his food. When he was gone, Tidus repeated his question for Auron. "Why did you bring me here?"
"You were about to pass out."
Tidus made a frustrated noise, knowing that Auron was being purposely difficult. "Argh, no!" He glared at Auron. "I mean, why Spira? Why did Jecht want me to be brought to Spira?"
"Come with me and you'll find out for yourself," Auron said.
Tidus looked away. "...I can't." He paused, thinking. Maybe he'd been hasty in wanting to go with Isaaru. He honestly hadn't expected to find Auron in Spira though, and certainly not in Luca. "I... I already promised someone I'd stay with them." He didn't mention that the someone had said he was free to leave at any time he wished. Auron probably knew that anyway.
The food arrived, and Tidus absently paid the bill, then started to eat.
Auron didn't say anything for a long moment, and when he did speak he didn't sound upset in the least. "I see."
Tidus could still tell he felt hurt, however, though he was acting as if it didn't affect him in the least. He tried to be so stoic and calm all the time, but Tidus knew he hadn't always been that way, that when he'd first came to Zanarkand he'd been a lot more open and expressive. It was only over the next couple of years that he'd closed up and developed that calm and usually infuriating manner. And yet sometimes, for all his passiveness, Tidus could still see right through him.
He felt bad about rejecting Auron, and tried to explain. "I met this summoner, he's called Isaaru. He helped me out, brought me to Luca and got me supplies and stuff. And well, I kinda... I kind of promised that I'd be his guardian. So I can't-I don't..." He trailed off, not sure how to express it. He didn't really feel that he owed Isaaru something, but yet he didn't really feel free to just leave him, either.
But it didn't seem to matter. "I understand, "Auron said. "It's fine. Do what you want." He looked on the verge of saying something else, but then he stood up abruptly and started to leave.
Tidus knew it wasn't fine at all, and he wondered if he was making a mistake in not going with Auron. He almost called him back, almost said, No, wait, you're right, I'll go with you after all, but something held him back. Then Auron disappeared out the door and it didn't matter anymore. He shoved in another mouthful of food and tried to convince himself he was doing the right thing.
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