Waiting, Book 1, Chapter 6:1
The hell Matt had been living is finally over. Ken is out of Matt's life for good. Matt can now put everything behind him and start over. But a certain gang seems to think differently... Taito. Sequel to Untold Secrets, but works as stand alone.
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Does anyone besides me ever bother to read these anymore? Ah well, half of you out there probably don't even read author's notes anymore. Especially when they're as long as mine. But anyways, Digimon ain't mine, just half the characters in this fic: Nyusumi, Kenji, Ratsuii, Kento, Sento, Tetsuya, Akira Kaos, Ayashi, Sai, Keiichi, and Genjitsu. They're all mine! Oh, and the fics mine too! No stealie! The song is Burning, by Two-Mix. If anyone wants to translate it for me, feel free!
Author's Notes: Here's Chapter 6! It's Yama's pov, remember!
--->Translation:
|I don't know the translation, dammit! Anyone wanna translate it for me?|
Waiting
Chapter 6:1-A Lemon, My Dear?
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|burning love burning love burning my love
|kawari-tsuzukeru sekai de
|dare ni mo somaranai mabushii futari de itai
|burning heart burning heart burning my heart
|otona ni nareba kiete'ku
|nani ka wo mamoritai anata to naraba dekiru to shinjite|
"Matt! What in hell are you doing in here?!!"
I turn slowly to face the boy standing besides my bed, eyes wide and frightened, sweeping upwards over my pale body, finally coming to rest on my startled face.
"Taichi..." I breathed. "Is it... really you?"
His face twisted in confusion. "Of course it is. Who else do you know with a triangle shirt and poofy hair?"
Taichi... it really is... I'm so glad...
Horrified, I could suddenly feel tears building in my eyes, threatening to spill over. Oh no, not now, I can't cry in front of Taichi, I don't need him asking what happened, I can't face it, no no don't cry...
My lower lip begin to tremble ever so slightly.
"Matt? Matt, what's wrong? Are you allright?"
I tried to turn away, tried not to let him see me cry, but he grasped my shoulders and made me face him. Just the look of pain, worry, and fear on his face was enough. I let out a sob and flung myself into him as best as possible, clinging onto him and crying like I'd never stop. All that pain at the thought of never being able to see Taichi again, and now he here was, right in front of me. Oh God, Taichi...
~author insert~
---Taichi POV---
After my shock at seeing Yama back in the hospital begin to wear off, I could feel the fear start to creep in. What happened to him? What put him back in this place? Whatever it was, it must have been bad. Matt acts if he'd given up hope of ever seeing me again. I'm just glad I decided to visit Ny, otherwise I would have let Matt down when he really needed me.
I held Matt for a long time, letting him cry everything out, occasionally whisphering soothing nothings in his ear, stroking his hair gently. Eventually I felt him relax, and he was asleep.
It was then I sensed someone watching me. I stiffened, and lay Matt down.
Mr. Ishida was standing in the doorway, watching us, a pained look on his face while he stared at Matt. Then he looked at me, and his face was suddenly blank. I felt a flicker of fear, not knowing how he'd react to seeing me with Matt, but the surge of anger easily overrode the fear I felt.
"What do you want?" I asked flatly, inches away from just punching his lights out. I wanted to so badly... he took Matt away from me.. he called me filth... I wanted to hurt him.. it'd be so easy....
No, I can't. It'd hurt Yama too much. Stay focused Taichi.
Mr. Ishida didn't say anything, just motioned for me to follow him.
I did, hesitantly. I figured he just wanted to get me somewhere alone so he could beat the stuffing out of me for daring to go near Matt. Well, that was his problem. I wasn't about to leave Matt alone, not now. Not when he still needed me so badly.
To my surprise, he led me not to some dark dank alleyway, but instead an empty waiting room a few feet away from Matt's room.
He sat down and motioned for me to sit next to him.
I chose the chair across from him.
He shrugged, as if he didn't care, then finally spoke.
"Taichi..." he began, then swallowed and got no farther.
I narrowed my eyes, what in hell was up with him?
"Taichi..." he tried again. "I.. I'm sorry.."
I literally had to use my hand to shut my jaw. What in hell?! Why was he apologizing?!!! He hated my guts!! And I hated his!! It was all good!
"I'm sorry for ..the way I reacted, the things I said Friday. I shouldn't have said them-" no shit sherlock, what else is new? "-It's just I didn't want Matt getting hurt anymore."
"I -what makes you think I would hurt him?" I demanded. Couldn't he see I've been helping Matt?
The older man just raised his shoulders helplessly. "I don't know. I was shocked, I overreacted, let my fear get the best of me. But you're good for Matt, so.."
"So...?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"So you better get in there and comfort him before I kick your ass so you'll be the one doing the hurting." He grinned, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Thanks Mr. Ishida." I got up to go.
"Oh and Tai?"
I turn back. "Yeah?"
"I'm serious. If you hurt my son, I'll make you wish you'd never been born." "No, if I hurt Matt, I'd make me wish I'd never been born."
He nodded, and I headed back to Matt's room to be there when he woke.
---End Taichi POV---
~end author insert~
+-+-+-+
It's been two weeks now. I've been out of the hospital for half that time. Tai's been over here every day, and dad hasn't said a thing, so I guess things are all right between them two now. Kenji and Ratsuii have been over here visiting me as well, and so has Takeru. Nyusumi would have been here too, but he's recovering from appendicitis, or so Tai told me. In a way I'm glad. I just want to spend all my time with Taichi. He's the only one who hasn't been throwing concerned glances my way, and the only one that hasn't even attempted to find out what happened, though I sense he wants to know. But I just can't tell him. Not yet. It hurts too much to think about. Hurts worse than when I think about Ken. At least with Ken, I can feel some sense of peace, some security, a knowledge that that chapter of my life is over with. With Kento and the gang, I know it's not over. They're not locked away, and they haven't came and apologized to me, so no way can I feel safe. Besides, I have Taichi to worry about as well. They want him just as badly as they want me. He made them look life fools, and he dented their image. Now they want revenge.
Which is all the more reason for telling him, I suppose. Warn him. But I just can't.
"Yama?"
I look up, startled out of my thoughts, to see Taichi with a quizzical look on his face.
"Are you allright? You looked torn between killing somebody or just hugging somebody to death."
"Huh? Oh sorry. My mind just kept wandering." Flitting from thought to thought. I didn't always use to be that way. I used to think about something and stay focused on it. Now I can't ever seem to.
Taichi pulled me closer towards him and lay down, resting the back of his head on my lap while his feet dangled over the edge of the couch. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" he asked, and I knew what he was really asking. 'what happened that day Yama? Why don't you stop thinking about it and just tell me?' sorry taichi...I just can't...
I sigh. "Oh just stuff. Nothing you'd really be interested in."
He reached up and caught a lock of my golden hair, twirling it around his finger, playing with the loose strands. Anyone else that tried that I'd kill 'em. "Sure I would. Anything concerning you would interest me. Even if you started talking about your rekindled interest in Lafarga (A/N:like, the only guy in Rayearth who I don't think is cute), I'd still be interested."
I smiled. For as long as I could remember, Taichi had always hated Lafarga. Everytime I'd talk about how cool he was (not to mention how cute he was, although I didn't tell Taichi that), Taichi would always make gagging noises and pretend to slit his throat. He'd do these overdramatic scenes where he'd catch a glimpse of Lafarga, then start staggering around, wheezing and coughing, pretending the sight of Lafarga had poisoned him and now he was gonna die. It was pretty funny.
"No, I won't talk about Lafarga, although he's still cool," I said. "I was just thinking about how much I love you."
Taichi blushed, unusual for him. "Stop trying to butter me up, cause it ain't working. Sooner or later I'll get you to tell me what happened."
I glared at him, cheerfulness suddenly gone. "What makes you think I want to tell you?" I snapped.
Tai looked hurt. "Matt.. you can't keep it all bottled up inside you forever. It's just hurting you worse, tearing you apart within. Besides, I just wanted to help you, take away some of your pain.."
"And what makes you think I wanted your help?" I snarled, thoroughly upset that he'd dared to more openly mention the one thing he'd avoided because he knew I didn't want to talk about it. If he'd just been patient, hadn't pushed.... I might have been able to tell him soon... now I don't know..
Now he looked on the verge of tears. "You're my boyfriend, and I love you! It hurts me to see you hurting! I feel so helpless all the time, like I'm not doing anything for you! All I ever wanted to do was help you! Why do you always have to get so defenseless about it?"
Suddenly all the fight left me, and I slumped down, letting out a defeated sigh. "I'm sorry Tai, you're right. I'm just being stupid. I'm so fucked up... but I just can't talk about it. Not yet. Can't you try to understand that?" "I've been trying. But I don't know how much longer I can stand seeing you in so much pain," Tai whisphered to me. Then he leaned up and brushed his lips over mine in the gentlest of kisses, so soft I barely felt it. But even that small contact was enough to make me desire more. Leaning down, I kissed him back, pressing my lips to his in an urgent need for physical contact. We stayed on the couch for quite some time.
+-+-+-+
"Nyusumi! Matt! You guys are back!" Kenji yelled.
I shrugged and gave a half smile. Behind me, Ny shut the door and locked it. He looked around. "Where's Ratsuii?"
"Err...." Kenji begin.
"I'm over -ack!" came the muffled yelp. I heard some giggling, then a whispher "you bastard! How could you do that to me?" "Sorry." "Sorry?! Is that all you can say?"
I knew the first voice was unmistakably Ratsuii's. Which led me to assume the second voice must have been Genjitsu's. From the sound of it, they were buried under a load of Ratsuii's dirty clothes, doing ..unspeakable things. Why they were under clothes though beats me. Ratsuii's room has always been a mess. He'd probably feel uncomfortable living with neatness. (A/N: I know I do!)
Trying my best to ignore the noises comes from Ratsuii and Gen, I turned to Kenji. "Why did Ratsuii invite us over if all he planned on was doing it with his boyfriend?"
Kenji shrugged. "Hell if I know. I thought he wanted to practice For The CONCERT NEXT MONTH, but apparently not." He paused, studying Ny and me. "You guys don't look so good."
An understatement if I ever heard one.
"Very observant of you," Ny snapped.
"Ooh, touchy ,touchy. What's the matter? Did somebody get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Kenji teased.
"Fuck off Jin," Nyusumi growled.
Kenji and I shared a Look. Something was obviously bothering Nyusumi.
"Hey dude, I'm sorry. Don't get mad. For real, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," was the mutter.
I had to snort back a laugh. Right now, Ny sounded a lot like me when Tai was trying to ask me the same question.
"Ny? Seriously, what's bothering you?" Kenji persisted.
"Look, maybe I can't exactly say with Matt and Ratsuii and his little boytoy around."
"Oooohhh..." Kenji exhaled. "Is it about our cou -mutual friend?"
Ny nodded. "He came to see me. I'll tell you about it later."
I looked back and forth between them, confused. Mutual friend? What the hell? And what had Ny really almost said? What were they talking about?
Kenji caught my confused look and grimaced. "Sorry Matt, no can tell."
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Err.. just because."
It was then that Ratsuii and Gen emerged from under the clothes, red faces and unclad sweaty bodies.
Horrified groans echoed around the room.
"Oh God!"
"Ratsuii please!"
"Put some clothes on!"
"Dude that's sick!"
"We don't wanna see that!"
Ratsuii just grinned. Reaching over to Gen, he wiped a stray speck of semen off Gen's penis and put his finger to his mouth. (A/N: For shame, Ratsuii! That's pretty damn nasty!)
The three of us made gagging noises and pretended to get sick.
Ratsuii's grin grew wider, and Genjitsu, too, began to smile.
"So what'd we miss?" he asked.
"Certainly not us," Kenji said.
"Course we did! Didn't we, Gen?"
"Well..."
"Bastard! Those are my best friends you're insulting!"
"Sorry." Gen grinned, not sorry at all.
"Bastard."
"Bitch."
"Whore."
"Jerk."
"Stupid."
"Asshole."
They grinned at each other.
The rest of us just looked at each other. What in hell?
+-+-+-+
Several hours later, after practice was over and Ratsuii had screwed Gen about fifty million more times (they never did end up getting dressed, and they were going at it when we left), I was walking home by myself. It was becoming kinda dark, and I was getting rather creeped out. I didn't especially want to run into Kento and the gang, and I was afraid I would. So when I bumped into someone going the upset direction, I automatically thought 'Kento', and let out this blood curling scream and took off down the street, yelling after me for them to leave me alone and not hurt me anymore. It was only when I heard Koushiro's startled voice shouting "come back! It's just me Matt!" did I slow down and risk a glance behind me. Sure enough, I spotted that shock of red hair. I turned back around and started toward him, feeling guilty and majorly stupid for freaking out.
"Oh, uh, hey Koushiro," I mumbled.
To my relief, he said nothing of my foolishness. "Hey. What are you doing out so late?"
"Oh, I just got back from band practice and what was also apparently a sex fest for Ratsuii and Genjitsu."
Koushiro looked shocked. Sometimes I forget he doesn't always hear of the crazy things my band gets up to. He usually doesn't listen to the rumors around school.
"Err... never mind," I said. "Where are you headed to?"
"Jyou's," he replied promptly.
I raised an eyebrow. "So late?"
I could just barely make out his blush in the fading twilight. "Yeah, um, we had uh, plans, you know. Watching movies and hanging out."
"And making out as well?" I inquired.
"No!!!!"
I stared politely.
"Well..... yeah."
I laughed. "Can't blame ya. Have fun. See ya around!" I waved.
"Yeah. See ya!" he echoed.
I waved once more, then continued on home. So Jyou and Koushiro were an item? Most interesting... So far, that makes six Digidestined gay, or bi. Jyou, Koushiro, Taichi, Daisuke, my brother, and of course myself. Rather interesting... Absently I wondered if the Digital World breeded homosexual tendencies. I'd have to mention it to Taichi. He'd probably find it interesting too.
+-+-+-+
"Mmm.. Taichi.. we have to stop," I whisphered.
He moaned as I sucked hard on his bottom lip before reluctantly drawing back. He looked disappointed. "Aw Yama," he whined. "Do we have to?"
"Yes we have to," I said with more firmness than I felt. I wanted to get back to kissing him. "'tousan will be home soon. And while he's not against us, I'd feel uncomfortable making out while he was here."
"Who's to say he'll be home soon?" Taichi murmured, leaning in towards me. No sooner had he said this then the apartment door slammed shut. Taichi and I jumped a mile high, Taichi hastily drawing away from me.
'tousan laughed. "You two look like a couple of rabbits caught in the headlight," he said.
"Um, yeah..." I said.
'tousan laughed again. "Well, don't let me stop you. I just came home to pick up some files for work. It seems I'm going to be pulling an all nighter covering that series of murder in Tamachi."
"Murder?" Tai asked, frowning. "Since when?"
"Oh, it's been going on for several months now. I think the first was that murder where that baby and the babysitter were killed in the baby's home while the rest of the family was out. The latest one is a 89 year old women that was killed in broad daylight while there were apparently no witnesses. People are really in an uproar."
"Oh," Tai said, still frowning. I was frowning too.
"Otousan, would you by any chance happen to know the name of the family whose baby was killed?"
"No, I didn't cover the original story. Why?"
"Just wondering."
'tousan nodded, then disappeared into his bedroom. Tai used the chance to sneak a few butterfly kisses. He'd just started to press and make the last one real when I heard 'tousan's bedroom door open. I pulled away from Tai fast. Even though he wouldn't care, and Tai didn't, it still was weird to make out in front of your father, especially with someone the same sex as you.
"Well, I'm off guys. Tai, feel free to spend the night. Matt, I'll probably be home around five or six tomorrow. And don't forget, tomorrow's a school day, so don't keep Tai up real late. Go if you feel up to it, and if not, just stay home. There's money stashed in the cupboard, order yourself a pizza or something if you get hungry. I have my cell with me if you need to reach me. See ya later. Bai guys," 'tousan rattled off, reminded me somewhat of Tai's mother. She also had to make this big long speech before she went five minutes away to the grocery store. Dad gave us a wave, then the door shut behind him. The second he was gone, Tai made a beeline for my mouth.
We kissed for quite some time, to me it felt like an eternity, but in reality I had no idea how long. I don't know when it happened it exactly, but some time during our makeout session I realized neither Taichi or I had our shirts on any longer. We'd gone farther then we'd ever gone before, and it seemed we were gonna go farther still... The thought scared me some, but it also excited me too. Just to imagine sex with Tai... it would definitely be different than with Ken. Probably because it'd be the first time I'd actually want it. Hell, I wanted it now. I'd never wanted anything so badly before. The ache of desire was so intense, more so than anything I'd ever felt. I could practically feel it burning a hole through my heart.
"Taichi.." I whisphered, drawing away from him a little.
"Yeah?" he whisphered.
"I want... I want.. you to...."
He drew back and looked at me, eyes wide, breathing heavily. "Yama.. are you-are you sure? You're not scared?"
I shook my head. "No, Tai. I'm not scared. I don't think I'll ever want it more than in this moment. Please..."
"It will hurt," he warned.
"You'll be careful," I said softly. "Please Tai. If I don't do this now I may not be able to at all."
He nodded. "Allright," he agreed, voice husky.
I felt little tremors run up and down my spine in nervous anticipation as he gave his consent.
Taichi drew near me again, and began to kiss me all over, no longer confining himself to my mouth. I moaned, my skin turning to molten lava under his soft lip. Slowly, methodically, so as not to frighten me, he began to undress us. Then he started to trail kisses down the nape of my neck, down my spine.
I gasped when I felt his first finger enter me. It was a strange sensation for me, something new. After all, a lubricated finger is different than a fully erect penis being rudely shoved up your ass. I took in a ragged breath as he crooked his finger, then another gasp as he hit something within me that felt damned good. Then he entered a second finger, and I swear I saw black. I had never felt such pleasure/pain before. The sensations were amazing. I'd definitely never felt like this with Ken. Ken was all so rough and quick. With Taichi, he was taking great care to be slow and gentle, trying his best to not scare me and to hurt me as little as possible. I don't think I'd ever loved him more than now.
Suddenly Taichi removed his fingers, and I realized, little shivers still racing along my spine, that he was about to enter me. The thought scared me some.
"Are you okay?" Tai whisphered. "You're so tense. Just relax. I'm not here to hurt you, babe."
"I know," I said -well, more like gasped- "It's just a little scary. Please, Tai. I'll be fine."
He applied a quick kiss to the back of my neck, then took a deep breath and started to enter me.
I had to grit my teeth to keep from crying out and worrying Taichi. Even though the pain was nothing like the three times Ken raped me, it still hurt. It didn't take long for Tai to be fully seated, and he paused to ask if I was allright before pulling out and thrusting back in. After several more thrusts, the pain begin to fade and pleasure began to surface. I started to moan in sheer ecstasy, never had I felt such pleasure. But something was still missing...it wasn't enough.. I needed more...
"Tai.." I moaned. "I need... I need..."
"Allright," he breathed, understanding perfectly what it was I needed. Reaching around, he took a firm hold of my cock and squeezed, eliciting a choked gasp and causing my moans to raise in volume, almost drowning out his ragged breathing. He continued to pump me, and it wasn't long before I came explosively, semen getting all over my stomach and the couch. Good thing there was a blanket already on the couch. It didn't take Taichi much longer to reach his climax, spilling his seed deep inside me.
After he exited me, we lay together in a pile of sweaty limbs, breathing heavily, still feeling the sensations of what we had just done.
Tai looked down into my red face, smiling. "I love you Matt, you know that?"
I smiled back. "I love you too, Taichi," I replied softly. "Thank you."
He smiled at me once more, then buried his head in my bare chest. I wrapped an arm around him, and like that we slept.
End 6:1
BOOK 1 finis~
Author's Notes: Matt's finally gotten over Ken. Mostly. There will probably still be a few flashes of fear. Anyways, don't know how soon it'll be before part 2 of chapter 6 comes out.
part six:two
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: Does anyone besides me ever bother to read these anymore? Ah well, half of you out there probably don't even read author's notes anymore. Especially when they're as long as mine. But anyways, Digimon ain't mine, just half the characters in this fic: Nyusumi, Kenji, Ratsuii, Kento, Sento, Tetsuya, Akira Kaos, Ayashi, Sai, Keiichi, and Genjitsu. They're all mine! Oh, and the fics mine too! No stealie! The song is Burning, by Two-Mix. If anyone wants to translate it for me, feel free!
Author's Notes: Here's Chapter 6! It's Yama's pov, remember!
--->Translation:
|I don't know the translation, dammit! Anyone wanna translate it for me?|
Waiting
Chapter 6:1-A Lemon, My Dear?
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|burning love burning love burning my love
|kawari-tsuzukeru sekai de
|dare ni mo somaranai mabushii futari de itai
|burning heart burning heart burning my heart
|otona ni nareba kiete'ku
|nani ka wo mamoritai anata to naraba dekiru to shinjite|
"Matt! What in hell are you doing in here?!!"
I turn slowly to face the boy standing besides my bed, eyes wide and frightened, sweeping upwards over my pale body, finally coming to rest on my startled face.
"Taichi..." I breathed. "Is it... really you?"
His face twisted in confusion. "Of course it is. Who else do you know with a triangle shirt and poofy hair?"
Taichi... it really is... I'm so glad...
Horrified, I could suddenly feel tears building in my eyes, threatening to spill over. Oh no, not now, I can't cry in front of Taichi, I don't need him asking what happened, I can't face it, no no don't cry...
My lower lip begin to tremble ever so slightly.
"Matt? Matt, what's wrong? Are you allright?"
I tried to turn away, tried not to let him see me cry, but he grasped my shoulders and made me face him. Just the look of pain, worry, and fear on his face was enough. I let out a sob and flung myself into him as best as possible, clinging onto him and crying like I'd never stop. All that pain at the thought of never being able to see Taichi again, and now he here was, right in front of me. Oh God, Taichi...
~author insert~
---Taichi POV---
After my shock at seeing Yama back in the hospital begin to wear off, I could feel the fear start to creep in. What happened to him? What put him back in this place? Whatever it was, it must have been bad. Matt acts if he'd given up hope of ever seeing me again. I'm just glad I decided to visit Ny, otherwise I would have let Matt down when he really needed me.
I held Matt for a long time, letting him cry everything out, occasionally whisphering soothing nothings in his ear, stroking his hair gently. Eventually I felt him relax, and he was asleep.
It was then I sensed someone watching me. I stiffened, and lay Matt down.
Mr. Ishida was standing in the doorway, watching us, a pained look on his face while he stared at Matt. Then he looked at me, and his face was suddenly blank. I felt a flicker of fear, not knowing how he'd react to seeing me with Matt, but the surge of anger easily overrode the fear I felt.
"What do you want?" I asked flatly, inches away from just punching his lights out. I wanted to so badly... he took Matt away from me.. he called me filth... I wanted to hurt him.. it'd be so easy....
No, I can't. It'd hurt Yama too much. Stay focused Taichi.
Mr. Ishida didn't say anything, just motioned for me to follow him.
I did, hesitantly. I figured he just wanted to get me somewhere alone so he could beat the stuffing out of me for daring to go near Matt. Well, that was his problem. I wasn't about to leave Matt alone, not now. Not when he still needed me so badly.
To my surprise, he led me not to some dark dank alleyway, but instead an empty waiting room a few feet away from Matt's room.
He sat down and motioned for me to sit next to him.
I chose the chair across from him.
He shrugged, as if he didn't care, then finally spoke.
"Taichi..." he began, then swallowed and got no farther.
I narrowed my eyes, what in hell was up with him?
"Taichi..." he tried again. "I.. I'm sorry.."
I literally had to use my hand to shut my jaw. What in hell?! Why was he apologizing?!!! He hated my guts!! And I hated his!! It was all good!
"I'm sorry for ..the way I reacted, the things I said Friday. I shouldn't have said them-" no shit sherlock, what else is new? "-It's just I didn't want Matt getting hurt anymore."
"I -what makes you think I would hurt him?" I demanded. Couldn't he see I've been helping Matt?
The older man just raised his shoulders helplessly. "I don't know. I was shocked, I overreacted, let my fear get the best of me. But you're good for Matt, so.."
"So...?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"So you better get in there and comfort him before I kick your ass so you'll be the one doing the hurting." He grinned, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Thanks Mr. Ishida." I got up to go.
"Oh and Tai?"
I turn back. "Yeah?"
"I'm serious. If you hurt my son, I'll make you wish you'd never been born." "No, if I hurt Matt, I'd make me wish I'd never been born."
He nodded, and I headed back to Matt's room to be there when he woke.
---End Taichi POV---
~end author insert~
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It's been two weeks now. I've been out of the hospital for half that time. Tai's been over here every day, and dad hasn't said a thing, so I guess things are all right between them two now. Kenji and Ratsuii have been over here visiting me as well, and so has Takeru. Nyusumi would have been here too, but he's recovering from appendicitis, or so Tai told me. In a way I'm glad. I just want to spend all my time with Taichi. He's the only one who hasn't been throwing concerned glances my way, and the only one that hasn't even attempted to find out what happened, though I sense he wants to know. But I just can't tell him. Not yet. It hurts too much to think about. Hurts worse than when I think about Ken. At least with Ken, I can feel some sense of peace, some security, a knowledge that that chapter of my life is over with. With Kento and the gang, I know it's not over. They're not locked away, and they haven't came and apologized to me, so no way can I feel safe. Besides, I have Taichi to worry about as well. They want him just as badly as they want me. He made them look life fools, and he dented their image. Now they want revenge.
Which is all the more reason for telling him, I suppose. Warn him. But I just can't.
"Yama?"
I look up, startled out of my thoughts, to see Taichi with a quizzical look on his face.
"Are you allright? You looked torn between killing somebody or just hugging somebody to death."
"Huh? Oh sorry. My mind just kept wandering." Flitting from thought to thought. I didn't always use to be that way. I used to think about something and stay focused on it. Now I can't ever seem to.
Taichi pulled me closer towards him and lay down, resting the back of his head on my lap while his feet dangled over the edge of the couch. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" he asked, and I knew what he was really asking. 'what happened that day Yama? Why don't you stop thinking about it and just tell me?' sorry taichi...I just can't...
I sigh. "Oh just stuff. Nothing you'd really be interested in."
He reached up and caught a lock of my golden hair, twirling it around his finger, playing with the loose strands. Anyone else that tried that I'd kill 'em. "Sure I would. Anything concerning you would interest me. Even if you started talking about your rekindled interest in Lafarga (A/N:like, the only guy in Rayearth who I don't think is cute), I'd still be interested."
I smiled. For as long as I could remember, Taichi had always hated Lafarga. Everytime I'd talk about how cool he was (not to mention how cute he was, although I didn't tell Taichi that), Taichi would always make gagging noises and pretend to slit his throat. He'd do these overdramatic scenes where he'd catch a glimpse of Lafarga, then start staggering around, wheezing and coughing, pretending the sight of Lafarga had poisoned him and now he was gonna die. It was pretty funny.
"No, I won't talk about Lafarga, although he's still cool," I said. "I was just thinking about how much I love you."
Taichi blushed, unusual for him. "Stop trying to butter me up, cause it ain't working. Sooner or later I'll get you to tell me what happened."
I glared at him, cheerfulness suddenly gone. "What makes you think I want to tell you?" I snapped.
Tai looked hurt. "Matt.. you can't keep it all bottled up inside you forever. It's just hurting you worse, tearing you apart within. Besides, I just wanted to help you, take away some of your pain.."
"And what makes you think I wanted your help?" I snarled, thoroughly upset that he'd dared to more openly mention the one thing he'd avoided because he knew I didn't want to talk about it. If he'd just been patient, hadn't pushed.... I might have been able to tell him soon... now I don't know..
Now he looked on the verge of tears. "You're my boyfriend, and I love you! It hurts me to see you hurting! I feel so helpless all the time, like I'm not doing anything for you! All I ever wanted to do was help you! Why do you always have to get so defenseless about it?"
Suddenly all the fight left me, and I slumped down, letting out a defeated sigh. "I'm sorry Tai, you're right. I'm just being stupid. I'm so fucked up... but I just can't talk about it. Not yet. Can't you try to understand that?" "I've been trying. But I don't know how much longer I can stand seeing you in so much pain," Tai whisphered to me. Then he leaned up and brushed his lips over mine in the gentlest of kisses, so soft I barely felt it. But even that small contact was enough to make me desire more. Leaning down, I kissed him back, pressing my lips to his in an urgent need for physical contact. We stayed on the couch for quite some time.
+-+-+-+
"Nyusumi! Matt! You guys are back!" Kenji yelled.
I shrugged and gave a half smile. Behind me, Ny shut the door and locked it. He looked around. "Where's Ratsuii?"
"Err...." Kenji begin.
"I'm over -ack!" came the muffled yelp. I heard some giggling, then a whispher "you bastard! How could you do that to me?" "Sorry." "Sorry?! Is that all you can say?"
I knew the first voice was unmistakably Ratsuii's. Which led me to assume the second voice must have been Genjitsu's. From the sound of it, they were buried under a load of Ratsuii's dirty clothes, doing ..unspeakable things. Why they were under clothes though beats me. Ratsuii's room has always been a mess. He'd probably feel uncomfortable living with neatness. (A/N: I know I do!)
Trying my best to ignore the noises comes from Ratsuii and Gen, I turned to Kenji. "Why did Ratsuii invite us over if all he planned on was doing it with his boyfriend?"
Kenji shrugged. "Hell if I know. I thought he wanted to practice For The CONCERT NEXT MONTH, but apparently not." He paused, studying Ny and me. "You guys don't look so good."
An understatement if I ever heard one.
"Very observant of you," Ny snapped.
"Ooh, touchy ,touchy. What's the matter? Did somebody get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Kenji teased.
"Fuck off Jin," Nyusumi growled.
Kenji and I shared a Look. Something was obviously bothering Nyusumi.
"Hey dude, I'm sorry. Don't get mad. For real, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," was the mutter.
I had to snort back a laugh. Right now, Ny sounded a lot like me when Tai was trying to ask me the same question.
"Ny? Seriously, what's bothering you?" Kenji persisted.
"Look, maybe I can't exactly say with Matt and Ratsuii and his little boytoy around."
"Oooohhh..." Kenji exhaled. "Is it about our cou -mutual friend?"
Ny nodded. "He came to see me. I'll tell you about it later."
I looked back and forth between them, confused. Mutual friend? What the hell? And what had Ny really almost said? What were they talking about?
Kenji caught my confused look and grimaced. "Sorry Matt, no can tell."
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Err.. just because."
It was then that Ratsuii and Gen emerged from under the clothes, red faces and unclad sweaty bodies.
Horrified groans echoed around the room.
"Oh God!"
"Ratsuii please!"
"Put some clothes on!"
"Dude that's sick!"
"We don't wanna see that!"
Ratsuii just grinned. Reaching over to Gen, he wiped a stray speck of semen off Gen's penis and put his finger to his mouth. (A/N: For shame, Ratsuii! That's pretty damn nasty!)
The three of us made gagging noises and pretended to get sick.
Ratsuii's grin grew wider, and Genjitsu, too, began to smile.
"So what'd we miss?" he asked.
"Certainly not us," Kenji said.
"Course we did! Didn't we, Gen?"
"Well..."
"Bastard! Those are my best friends you're insulting!"
"Sorry." Gen grinned, not sorry at all.
"Bastard."
"Bitch."
"Whore."
"Jerk."
"Stupid."
"Asshole."
They grinned at each other.
The rest of us just looked at each other. What in hell?
+-+-+-+
Several hours later, after practice was over and Ratsuii had screwed Gen about fifty million more times (they never did end up getting dressed, and they were going at it when we left), I was walking home by myself. It was becoming kinda dark, and I was getting rather creeped out. I didn't especially want to run into Kento and the gang, and I was afraid I would. So when I bumped into someone going the upset direction, I automatically thought 'Kento', and let out this blood curling scream and took off down the street, yelling after me for them to leave me alone and not hurt me anymore. It was only when I heard Koushiro's startled voice shouting "come back! It's just me Matt!" did I slow down and risk a glance behind me. Sure enough, I spotted that shock of red hair. I turned back around and started toward him, feeling guilty and majorly stupid for freaking out.
"Oh, uh, hey Koushiro," I mumbled.
To my relief, he said nothing of my foolishness. "Hey. What are you doing out so late?"
"Oh, I just got back from band practice and what was also apparently a sex fest for Ratsuii and Genjitsu."
Koushiro looked shocked. Sometimes I forget he doesn't always hear of the crazy things my band gets up to. He usually doesn't listen to the rumors around school.
"Err... never mind," I said. "Where are you headed to?"
"Jyou's," he replied promptly.
I raised an eyebrow. "So late?"
I could just barely make out his blush in the fading twilight. "Yeah, um, we had uh, plans, you know. Watching movies and hanging out."
"And making out as well?" I inquired.
"No!!!!"
I stared politely.
"Well..... yeah."
I laughed. "Can't blame ya. Have fun. See ya around!" I waved.
"Yeah. See ya!" he echoed.
I waved once more, then continued on home. So Jyou and Koushiro were an item? Most interesting... So far, that makes six Digidestined gay, or bi. Jyou, Koushiro, Taichi, Daisuke, my brother, and of course myself. Rather interesting... Absently I wondered if the Digital World breeded homosexual tendencies. I'd have to mention it to Taichi. He'd probably find it interesting too.
+-+-+-+
"Mmm.. Taichi.. we have to stop," I whisphered.
He moaned as I sucked hard on his bottom lip before reluctantly drawing back. He looked disappointed. "Aw Yama," he whined. "Do we have to?"
"Yes we have to," I said with more firmness than I felt. I wanted to get back to kissing him. "'tousan will be home soon. And while he's not against us, I'd feel uncomfortable making out while he was here."
"Who's to say he'll be home soon?" Taichi murmured, leaning in towards me. No sooner had he said this then the apartment door slammed shut. Taichi and I jumped a mile high, Taichi hastily drawing away from me.
'tousan laughed. "You two look like a couple of rabbits caught in the headlight," he said.
"Um, yeah..." I said.
'tousan laughed again. "Well, don't let me stop you. I just came home to pick up some files for work. It seems I'm going to be pulling an all nighter covering that series of murder in Tamachi."
"Murder?" Tai asked, frowning. "Since when?"
"Oh, it's been going on for several months now. I think the first was that murder where that baby and the babysitter were killed in the baby's home while the rest of the family was out. The latest one is a 89 year old women that was killed in broad daylight while there were apparently no witnesses. People are really in an uproar."
"Oh," Tai said, still frowning. I was frowning too.
"Otousan, would you by any chance happen to know the name of the family whose baby was killed?"
"No, I didn't cover the original story. Why?"
"Just wondering."
'tousan nodded, then disappeared into his bedroom. Tai used the chance to sneak a few butterfly kisses. He'd just started to press and make the last one real when I heard 'tousan's bedroom door open. I pulled away from Tai fast. Even though he wouldn't care, and Tai didn't, it still was weird to make out in front of your father, especially with someone the same sex as you.
"Well, I'm off guys. Tai, feel free to spend the night. Matt, I'll probably be home around five or six tomorrow. And don't forget, tomorrow's a school day, so don't keep Tai up real late. Go if you feel up to it, and if not, just stay home. There's money stashed in the cupboard, order yourself a pizza or something if you get hungry. I have my cell with me if you need to reach me. See ya later. Bai guys," 'tousan rattled off, reminded me somewhat of Tai's mother. She also had to make this big long speech before she went five minutes away to the grocery store. Dad gave us a wave, then the door shut behind him. The second he was gone, Tai made a beeline for my mouth.
We kissed for quite some time, to me it felt like an eternity, but in reality I had no idea how long. I don't know when it happened it exactly, but some time during our makeout session I realized neither Taichi or I had our shirts on any longer. We'd gone farther then we'd ever gone before, and it seemed we were gonna go farther still... The thought scared me some, but it also excited me too. Just to imagine sex with Tai... it would definitely be different than with Ken. Probably because it'd be the first time I'd actually want it. Hell, I wanted it now. I'd never wanted anything so badly before. The ache of desire was so intense, more so than anything I'd ever felt. I could practically feel it burning a hole through my heart.
"Taichi.." I whisphered, drawing away from him a little.
"Yeah?" he whisphered.
"I want... I want.. you to...."
He drew back and looked at me, eyes wide, breathing heavily. "Yama.. are you-are you sure? You're not scared?"
I shook my head. "No, Tai. I'm not scared. I don't think I'll ever want it more than in this moment. Please..."
"It will hurt," he warned.
"You'll be careful," I said softly. "Please Tai. If I don't do this now I may not be able to at all."
He nodded. "Allright," he agreed, voice husky.
I felt little tremors run up and down my spine in nervous anticipation as he gave his consent.
Taichi drew near me again, and began to kiss me all over, no longer confining himself to my mouth. I moaned, my skin turning to molten lava under his soft lip. Slowly, methodically, so as not to frighten me, he began to undress us. Then he started to trail kisses down the nape of my neck, down my spine.
I gasped when I felt his first finger enter me. It was a strange sensation for me, something new. After all, a lubricated finger is different than a fully erect penis being rudely shoved up your ass. I took in a ragged breath as he crooked his finger, then another gasp as he hit something within me that felt damned good. Then he entered a second finger, and I swear I saw black. I had never felt such pleasure/pain before. The sensations were amazing. I'd definitely never felt like this with Ken. Ken was all so rough and quick. With Taichi, he was taking great care to be slow and gentle, trying his best to not scare me and to hurt me as little as possible. I don't think I'd ever loved him more than now.
Suddenly Taichi removed his fingers, and I realized, little shivers still racing along my spine, that he was about to enter me. The thought scared me some.
"Are you okay?" Tai whisphered. "You're so tense. Just relax. I'm not here to hurt you, babe."
"I know," I said -well, more like gasped- "It's just a little scary. Please, Tai. I'll be fine."
He applied a quick kiss to the back of my neck, then took a deep breath and started to enter me.
I had to grit my teeth to keep from crying out and worrying Taichi. Even though the pain was nothing like the three times Ken raped me, it still hurt. It didn't take long for Tai to be fully seated, and he paused to ask if I was allright before pulling out and thrusting back in. After several more thrusts, the pain begin to fade and pleasure began to surface. I started to moan in sheer ecstasy, never had I felt such pleasure. But something was still missing...it wasn't enough.. I needed more...
"Tai.." I moaned. "I need... I need..."
"Allright," he breathed, understanding perfectly what it was I needed. Reaching around, he took a firm hold of my cock and squeezed, eliciting a choked gasp and causing my moans to raise in volume, almost drowning out his ragged breathing. He continued to pump me, and it wasn't long before I came explosively, semen getting all over my stomach and the couch. Good thing there was a blanket already on the couch. It didn't take Taichi much longer to reach his climax, spilling his seed deep inside me.
After he exited me, we lay together in a pile of sweaty limbs, breathing heavily, still feeling the sensations of what we had just done.
Tai looked down into my red face, smiling. "I love you Matt, you know that?"
I smiled back. "I love you too, Taichi," I replied softly. "Thank you."
He smiled at me once more, then buried his head in my bare chest. I wrapped an arm around him, and like that we slept.
End 6:1
BOOK 1 finis~
Author's Notes: Matt's finally gotten over Ken. Mostly. There will probably still be a few flashes of fear. Anyways, don't know how soon it'll be before part 2 of chapter 6 comes out.
part six:two