Waiting (rewrite), Book 2, Chapter 19
After living through hell for months, Yamato is finally free from Ken and ready to move on with his life. But are things ever really that simple? Sequel to Untold Secrets. References to rape/sexual abuse and suicide. Some violence/swearing.
[Digimon] M, drama/hurt/comfort, 5325 (130504) words, published 08-12-16
UPDATE This chapter is the final version
previous chapter
Waiting
by: butterflie
chapter nineteen, epilogue
Book Two
from now on I'll try not to show my tears
I'll open the eyes of my heart and head for the unseen future
this time I'll believe and have strength
I'll have the courage to stand up again
- Maeda Ai, keep on.
“Today’s the day,” I mumbled to myself as I looked in the mirror. I rinsed my razor one last time and put it back, my face now clean-shaven. “Sixteen years...”
My gaze caught on the scar on my left shoulder, courtesy of Ken’s knife all those years ago. I wasn’t a teenager anymore, and hadn’t been for a long time, but I could still remember the fear as he’d chased me down the hallway of Dad’s apartment like it was yesterday. It had taken me a long time to learn to be comfortable with this scar. Ultimately it had been Taichi’s constant acceptance of it that had helped the most.
“Daddy, Papa says to hurry up!” Naozumi ran in, hands fisted at his sides impatiently. “And he says to stop stressing!”
I smiled despite myself. Taichi knew me well. “Oh, he does, does he?”
“Yes!” Naozumi exclaimed firmly, trying to stand tall and look important. As he was only seven and a bit short for his age, it was an amusing-if adorable-sight.
I laughed. “Alright Nao, tell him I’ll be along in a minute.”
“Okay!” He beamed and ran back out of the room, presumably to go deliver my message to Taichi.
I smiled again, his brief presence having lightened my mood just the tiniest. Taichi and I had adopted him five years ago, when he was just two years old. We had been discussing possibly finding a surrogate mother to carry a child from one of us when he came into our life. Koushiro had rescued him at age one from an abusive household, but none of Koushiro’s foster families had been able to take him in. In desperation, he asked if we’d take him just for a night or two while he tried to place the toddler. We quickly fell in love with him and made him ours a year later. Now, at seven, he actually resembled me a little bit, with his blond hair and blue eyes. I knew it wouldn’t last, but for now most people mistook us as being related by blood.
I looked at myself again in the mirror, letting my gaze gradually drift down to my right side, where the scar from my other stab wound was located. Absently, I brushed my fingertips over it. This one had taken a lot longer to heal from.
Physically, it wasn’t really all that long, though it had felt like it. Maybe a month or two, though I’d been released from the hospital after only a week. Mentally though... it had been rough. Once I was home most of my friends had stopped visiting me because they were afraid of intruding, and I had stopped eating completely and spent most of my days sleeping. Taichi had come by every day, but I had always ignored him.
Eventually my dad had called Dr. Kaos, and when he came by they decided to take me back to the hospital. A psychologist had evaluated me the next day, and it hadn’t taken long for him to decide I needed to be admitted to a mental hospital.
“Yamato, what the heck is taking so long!” Taichi yelled out suddenly from the other room. “We’ll be late!”
I started out of my reminiscing and grabbed a brush to do something with my hair. “I’m fixing my hair!” I yelled back. “Be out in a minute!”
“Hair-gel freak!” he called in a teasing tone, even though I hadn’t gelled my hair in years.
“Shut up,” I shouted good-naturedly. I heard Nao’s giggles from the other room, and assumed Taichi was probably sticking his tongue out at me.
I finished messing with my hair and grabbed my shirt off the back of the door, studying my scars one last time before putting it on. Even though I had mostly learned to accept them, there were still some days they bothered me. Such as today. “I’m sick of doing this,” I muttered to myself.
“Doing what?” Taichi asked, walking in and wrapping his arms around me.
I let out a happy murmur and leaned into his embrace. “Sick of visiting Kenji’s grave every year,” I told him. “It’s so depressing. All we do is stand around and cry over how he died. Kenji loved life. He would hate us doing this.”
Taichi sighed and let me go so I could slip into my shirt. “It’s what Ny wanted, isn’t it?”
“Yes. And Ratsuii and I let him because Kenji was his cousin, and for the first year or two we thought it might help him heal. But it hasn’t, and it’s been sixteen years now. Going every year is only making it worse.”
“So tell him that then,” Taichi said, very matter-of-fact.
I sighed, doing up the last of my buttons. “We’ll see,” I said. “Come on, we better get going or we’ll be late.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling you!” Taichi exclaimed, shaking his head. He was smiling though, so I knew he wasn’t bothered.
I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss, then headed out of the bathroom. “Nao! Come on, let’s go to Auntie Hikari’s!”
* * *
“Thanks for watching him, Hikari.”
Hikari smiled at her brother. “It’s no problem. Nao’s a good kid, and he and Tohru get along great. And you know I love kids, even if he wasn’t my nephew I’d watch him.”
I shook my head, smiling. “You spend five days a week teaching small children, I don’t see how you’re not sick of them by the weekend.”
“Well, I’d have Tohru anyway, wouldn’t I? They’re close enough in age that one more won’t make much difference.”
I shrugged. “I suppose you have a point.” I looked around the living room and frowned. “Where’s Takeru? Is he writing his next best-selling novel?”
“Oh, he’s out helping Daisuke with the noodle stand again,” Hikari said. “I think he wants it to be a success more than Daisuke does.”
“It’s good they still get along; for awhile, I thought they’d never make it past the break up,” Taichi remarked, hands shoved in his pockets as he wandered around their living room. Thirty-three years old, and he’d still never really learned to sit still for long.
“Well, dating and eventually marrying me probably had a lot to do with it,” Hikari said dryly.
“Heheh... I suppose so,” Taichi said nervously. He still didn’t like to think about his ‘baby’ sister all grown up and married.
I just rolled my eyes, not feeling the same way about my own brother. I was just glad to see him happy again. He had taken it really hard when Daisuke had broken up with him, and the two of them had barely been friends for awhile. It really was his marriage to Hikari that had helped the two of them start patching up their shattered friendship.
“We should probably get going,” I spoke up. “We’ll be late otherwise. Thanks again for watching him.”
Hikari smiled. “Of course.”
I raised my voice. “Naozumi! We’re leaving! Come say bye!”
Nao ran in, giving quick hugs to both me and Taichi. “Bye Daddy! Bye Papa! Love you!” And he zoomed back off again. I blinked. Usually he lingered more, reluctant for us to leave him.
Hikari laughed. “Tohru got a new game. They’ll probably spend the whole time playing it.”
“Ah.” I laughed, understanding. Taichi had been the one to instill a love of video games into our son, but I wasn’t complaining, because it was great for keeping him occupied in times like this. “Well okay then. I’m not entirely sure when we’ll back, hopefully not more than a few hours. Call us if there’s any problems.”
“Will do,” she said cheerfully, waving us towards the door. “Now shoo!”
* * *
It didn’t take long to reach Ny’s apartment. He lived with his boyfriend a few blocks from the hospital. His boyfriend was training to be the hospital administrator to replace Ny’s dad once he retired, so they needed to be close by so as to be there when needed. It had surprised me when the two of them had started dating, knowing how much Ny disliked the hospital, and disliked how the job had dictated his dad's life-and consequently Ny's-but after six years together they were still going strong. Ny seemed genuinely happy with him, which was all I wanted to see after he'd carried a torch for me for so long.
“Come on in, guys,” he said, holding the door open wide. “Thanks for coming.”
“No problem,” Taichi said when I stayed conspicuously silent. He darted a glare at me. Ny just looked confused.
We slipped off our shoes and followed him to the kitchen, where Ratsuii was sitting at the table, sipping at a glass of water. I remembered that he’d just gotten out of rehab not too long ago, so alcohol was once again off limits for any of us.
“Hey Ratz,” Taichi greeted. I echoed him, mumbling my words slightly. I really didn’t want to do this.
“Taichi,” Ratsuii replied, nodding at him. “Yamato.”
“Your wife watching Yue today?”
Yue was Ratsuii’s son, the same age as Naozumi, though unlike Nao, he was a very shy and quiet little boy.
“No, she had an emergency at work. Luna’s got him. A little money makes a great bribe,” Ratsuii said, grinning, though his face still softened slightly when he mentioned his daughter.
It had really been a huge surprise to all of us. We had spent the first few years thinking Luna was his little sister, but when we were about nineteen or twenty he had sat Ny and I down and told us the truth, which I’d later shared with Taichi, with Ratsuii’s permission.
Luna was actually his daughter. Before he’d met us, he’d been a runaway on the streets for awhile, and he’d met a girl name Tsukiko and taken up with her. Luna had been born when he was only thirteen, and Tsukiko had died in childbirth. Her parents had fought for custody of the baby, but it had been awarded to Ratsuii, and they’d shunned their visitation rights, blaming him for their daughter’s death. He’d named Luna for Tsukiko, who he’d cared for a great deal, both of their names meaning “moon.” He’d not told Luna the truth until she was around eight, when he’d graduated college and was ready to move into his own place and take Luna with him.
Taichi laughed. “Maybe I should remember that if there’s ever a time Hikari and Takeru can’t take Nao.”
“As long as you offer her money.”
“Duly noted.”
I shook my head at their conversation and looked over at Nyusumi, who was leaning against the counter by the sink, looking lost in memories, his eyes unfocused and sad. I sighed. I really didn’t think we were doing the right thing anymore. Perhaps Taichi was right, perhaps I needed to say something to him. Ratsuii never would, he still tended to be a peacekeeper whenever possible.
I went over and leaned on the counter next to him. “Where’s Miki at?” Mizuki-Miki-was his boyfriend, and he usually came with us on these grave visits just like Taichi did.
Ny looked up at me, frowning and running a hand through his green and blue streaked black hair. He still loved to dye it, no matter how old he got. “Working,” he said shortly.
“Ah.” I could tell something about Miki had made him unhappy, but I left it alone. He’d talk about it if he wanted. Ratsuii and Taichi were still chatting away at the table, and I figured now was as good a time as any.
“Ny.” I rubbed at my forehead, feeling worn all of a sudden. “Listen. I don’t think we should keep going to Kenji’s grave every year.”
Ny narrowed his eyes at me. “And why not?” he asked, voice low. I felt like I was treading through dangerous territory. In front of me, Ratsuii and Taichi both fell silent, and turned to face us.
I ignored the warning signs and forged on. “It’s not helping. Why do we need to go to his grave every year on the day he died?”
“So that we don’t forget him!” he hissed at me, definitely angry now. It was a warning to quieten, to back off before I said anything I'd regret.
I was angry now too though, and I didn't heed it. “That’s bullshit!” I burst out. “We’ll never forget him! We don’t need to go visit some gravestone over his dead body just to remember him! Kenji loved life, he would have wanted us to be celebrating it every year, not crying over the way he died. He would hate seeing us mourn, you should know that better than any of us." I paused for a moment, rubbing at my forehead. "Look, we'll always remember him, every day of our lives! It's not something you can easily forget, Ny.”
I stopped for a breath. Ny was looking a bit gob-smacked at my words, his eyes a little wide. “Listen, I’m not saying it's wrong to go. But if you want to go, go to actually visit him, and go whenever you want, not just one damned day every year. You should go because he was your cousin and friend, not out of a sense of duty. This isn't like your dad’s hospital or anything, the dead aren't a responsibility."
There was a long silence. No one looked at each other. No one moved.
At last Ny exhaled, momentarily closing his eyes. “You’re right,” he said, opening them again and looking at me. “He would have hated this. He wouldn’t want me going to cry over his death every year. And I never should have forced you guys to keep going with me.” He was quiet a moment. “Miki said something similar this morning. I just didn’t want to listen. I blamed it on him not knowing Kenji.”
“I’m sure you can sort things out with Miki,” Ratsuii said gently. “He loves you, he’ll understand.”
Ny’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, guys.”
There was another brief moment of quiet before Taichi spoke. "So. Let's go visit our friend, shall we? He's missed a lot these sixteen years, we'll need a couple hours to catch him up, and the day's not getting any younger!" He grinned.
The three of us just looked at him, before we all slowly started to smile back.
* * *
“I’m proud of you, you know.” Taichi spoke quietly, trying not to wake Nao, who had fallen asleep in the backseat, worn out from his time with Tohru and Hikari.
“Hmm?” I turned away from where I’d been gazing out the window, looking at my husband.
“For speaking up to Nyusumi. I’m proud of you.” He reached out a hand to briefly grasp mine, giving it a squeeze before putting it back on the wheel, careful to keep his eyes on the road the whole time.
My face flushed slightly. “I could just see how much it was hurting him. I didn’t want him to keep hurting anymore.”
“Still. It was a brave thing to do.” He laughed softly. “And here I thought I was the one with the crest of courage.”
“Mmm. We’ve known each other since we were eleven, Taichi. You were bound to rub off on me somewhat.”
“You know the only place we do that is in the shower.”
“Taichi!” I cried, groaning, but I was grinning. “Not in front of our kid!”
“Eh, he’s asleep,” Taichi said dismissively. “And besides, he’ll be old enough to start learning these things before you know it.”
I shuddered. “Please, don’t give me nightmares. He’s supposed to stay young and innocent forever.”
Taichi laughed.
* * *
The next weekend was the yearly Chosen reunion at the park. We had started them up again about fourteen years ago, when things had finally settled enough with me for me to actually interact with my friends again. Not everyone came every year just due to life and sometimes awkward relationships, but most of us tried to make it when we could. And now that many of us were older and had kids, our kids came along and enjoyed the chance to play with each other as well.
“Yamato! Taichi!” Koushiro called, spotting us and waving us over to the group under the tree.
I waved back as Taichi and I headed towards them. Nao quickly took off when he spotted Tohru with several of the other children grouped near the sandbox.
We greeted everyone when we got there, and I was surprised to find nearly everyone was there. The only two missing were Iori and Daisuke. Iori wasn’t really surprising, he had drifted away from most of us over the years, mostly just remaining friends with Takeru and only showing up every now and then. Daisuke I assumed was likely running his noodle cart again, trying to drum up business.
“So Yamato, when’s the next album coming out?”
Inwardly I sighed, but plastered a smile on my face and turned to Miyako. I had never quite forgiven her for the incident at Taichi’s that one night all those years ago, but she went out of her way to be extra friendly to me at these gatherings. I knew she just felt bad, that she’d grown up and realised she’d been in the wrong, but I just couldn’t let myself quite move past it.
“Probably not for awhile,” I said. “We just released one a couple of months ago.” I didn’t want to seem too rude though, so I fumbled around for a question, though I didn’t know too much about her life. “How’s your business going?” She had started a running a computer repair business out of her home a year or so after she’d married her now-husband, who she’d met while in university.
She smiled. “Great! It’s going really well, and it’s nice to be able to stay home and take care of the girls.” She had three of them, I knew. Tomoko was the oldest at six, and Nao had something of a little crush on her. They were in different grades at school, but often played together at recess, and were in the same after school club.
“They’re doing well, I hope?” Taichi spoke up beside me, rescuing me. I’d have to thank him later.
“Yes, Tomoko really enjoys school,” Miyako answered him happily. “Poor Hotaru gets jealous watching her big sister go off in her uniform every day. She usually ropes Ayame into playing school with her, though Ayame doesn’t really understand what she’s doing yet.”
I tuned her out then, not interested in the antics of her four year old and two year old. I turned to Koushiro instead. “How’s the job going?” I asked him. “Find any more kids for me yet?”
Koushiro had become a child social worker. We’d all expected him to go into something dealing with computers, but he said he’d preferred to keep that as his hobby, and chose social work because he was thankful every day that he’d been adopted by a family that loved him after his parents had died, and he wanted to do his best to help other children find families that would love them. It was a tough job and often thankless, but he seemed happy and wouldn’t have it any other way.
He shook his head at me, smiling. “I wasn’t even trying to find Naozumi for you, you know,” he said. “And the probability of me receiving another kid that has no place to go and will fit-”
“Alright, alright, don’t even start in on your statistics!” I interrupted him, laughing. “I was just joking, Taichi and I have already agreed we don’t want another kid for at least a year.”
Beside him, Jou raised an eyebrow. “You’re considering another one?”
I shrugged. “Taichi wants a little girl. And I always pictured myself having at least two kids when I was younger. I don’t really mind if it’s a boy or girl, though. I’d just like a kid that’s already a bit older, maybe three or four. Nao was a handful, and it’s hard for me to be there all the time with the band. I know Taichi doesn’t mind, but I don’t want to make him do all the work.”
“Well, if you’re serious about another child, I can keep an eye out,” Koushiro told me. “Though most of them that go through the system won’t be as well-adjusted as Naozumi was.”
I nodded. “I know. We haven’t really discussed it too much yet though, Koushiro. Don’t worry about it. We’ll let you know when we decide for sure.”
Koushiro nodded. “No problem.”
“So, are you two thinking about kids any yet?” Jou and Koushiro had been dating for several years, since shortly after Koushiro had finished university, though they had lost touch at one point, which I had always felt slightly guilty for. Koushiro had taken my advice and told Jou how he’d felt, but Jou hadn’t been ready for a relationship and they’d drifted apart for a few years. I was glad when they managed to reconnect and work things out.
Jou made a face. “Not right now. We’d like some, but right now I spend most of my time at the hospital, and Koushiro’s pretty swamped with cases, so the timing’s not really right.” To no one’s surprise, Jou had become a doctor. He mostly worked ER, and was on-call a lot.
“Yeah, if Taichi’s job was any more demanding, we probably wouldn’t have been able to take Nao either.” Taichi had become a guidance counselor at our old high school. He’d said that seeing me go through so much and feeling so helpless most of the time made him want to help other kids, to reach out to them and let them know they weren’t alone the way I had so often felt.
Koushiro sighed. “Must be nice, having the afternoons off all the time.”
A sudden high-pitched shriek from where all the kids were playing had us looking up, and then four unhappy children ran up to us.
“Daddy!” Nao cried, coming over to me and wrapping his arms around my legs. “Chiyo kicked my sand castle over!”
“Not!” Chiyo yelled back, a pouty look on her face. Chiyo was Mimi’s youngest, a cute little three old that was the exact image of her father, Mimi’s current boyfriend. She was painfully shy and tended to speak in as few words as possible, often reminding me of Emiko, Ny's twin.
“Did too!” Kohaku chimed in, apparently feeling no sibling loyalty. With six years between them, it wasn’t really surprising. “I saw you!”
“She did Uncle ‘Mato, I saw her! You should punish her!”
I gave Tohru a stern look. “Alright, all of you, calm down.” I squatted down and looked Chiyo in the face. “Chiyo, did you kick over Naozumi’s sand castle?”
She looked away bashfully, twirling her fingers in her little brown pigtails. “Nuh-uh.”
“You didn’t?”
“Accident.”
“Accident, huh? Did you tell him you were sorry?”
“No...”
“Shouldn’t you tell him you are sorry?” I asked gently.
She nodded.
“Well, go on then,” I said.
She trotted over to Nao. “Sorry Nao’s’mi.”
He smiled brightly, immediately perking up. “That’s okay Chiyo! I forgive you! Come on, let’s go build a new one!”
I watched in bemusement as all four of them ran off again. Naozumi forgave so easily... I had been nothing like him as a child.
“Sorry about that,” Mimi said, coming up to me. “I would have said something to her, but you seemed to have it pretty well handled.”
I waved her away. “It’s no bother. I have to referee disagreements between Nao and Tohru quite often.”
We watched them playing amicably together for a few minutes, Chiyo happily bringing over water for Nao’s new sand castle. Shou, Sora’s five year old son, had joined them, helping Nao in making walls. “She’s gotten big since the last time I saw her,” I remarked.
“That was what, nearly two years ago? She’s grown quite a bit.”
“Do Kohaku and her fight a lot?”
“No more than any other siblings, I’d imagine,” Mimi said, smiling as she watched her children.
“Knowing they have different dads doesn’t bother them?”
She shook her head. “No, it’s never been a problem. Why?”
“We were thinking about adopting another child in a year or so,” Taichi said, coming up behind me, having finally extricated himself from Miyako. “We were concerned it might cause problems between them, if they knew they didn’t have the same biological parents.”
“As long as you treat them both as yours and make it clear you’re their parents, it shouldn’t be a problem,” Koushiro said. Mimi nodded along to his words.
We chatted for awhile longer after that, continuing to catch up on each other’s lives. Taichi wandered over to listen to Sora talk about her job working in her mom’s flower shop, learning everything she would need to some day take over the business.
Mimi talked to pretty much anyone who would listen about the latest celebrities she’d done projects for. After she’d graduated university, she’d moved back to America for awhile and had managed to become a successful fashion stylist for several big-name celebrities over there. Eventually she had come back here and began working freelance, easily landing plenty of projects with her impressive resume.
After some time I decided to go sit at a nearby bench and watch my son play with his friends. Koushiro joined me shortly, having had enough of socialising in a large group. We were content to sit in silence for awhile, having become pretty good friends once I’d started getting my life together again.
“Seems unreal sometimes, doesn’t it?” I remarked.
He glanced at me, a slightly questioning look on his face. “What does?”
“Just...” I gestured helplessly. “This. Being here, with all of you guys, having kids, having Taichi, the band... being happy. There was a time I thought I’d never make it, you know? I struggled through so much with Ken, and then I survived that attack on me by the gang, but when I woke up in the hospital and Taichi told me Kenji was dead... for awhile I felt like I’d died too.”
“The rest of us weren’t so sure you’d make it either,” Koushiro said quietly. “When Taichi told me that you had been sent to the psychiatric hospital in Tokyo, I was surprised, but also relieved, because I hoped they would be able to help you the way we couldn’t.”
I sighed. “It was really hard for awhile. I blamed myself for a lot of it, and couldn’t stop thinking about how unfair everything was, and how I was sick of having to deal with everything... It was just too much, I just didn’t want to deal with any of it anymore. The first couple of weeks I was there, I was sure I’d never leave again.”
“It was that bad?” Koushiro asked curiously, then went on immediately, “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”
I shook my head. “I probably wouldn’t talk about it with most of the other Chosen, but I think you were what kept Taichi sane while I was in there, and you also gave us Naozumi... And the first couple of weeks I refused to eat so they fed me through a tube, so yeah, it felt pretty bad at the time.”
“Is that why Taichi wasn’t allowed to visit you at first? He was very upset about it, he ranted about it many times.”
“Part of it.” I lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug, then let it drop. “They made me go to these different therapies and wouldn’t let me spend time in my room during the day and I wasn’t very cooperative at first. I didn’t even talk at all the entire first month I was there. Taichi was my reward for eating on my own and not putting up a fight about things.”
“I didn’t realise it was like that,” he said softly. “Taichi would always come back from visiting you and he would look really sad and upset, but he would never say much. Just that you seemed okay, but weren’t ready to come home yet.”
I smiled ruefully. “I didn’t talk to Taichi at first either. Once I finally started talking, I’d say hi and such, but I didn’t really tell him anything happening for awhile.”
“You must have started talking enough eventually, after all, they did finally let you leave.”
I smiled slightly. “Yeah. Eventually. Though it was still a long time after I left before I really started moving on and feeling like I was getting my life back. The band going major helped a lot, because oftentimes it kept me too busy to keep dwelling on everything. Naozumi helps too. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle raising a kid for awhile, but I couldn’t imagine life without him now.”
“I’m very glad,” he said. “I had nowhere else to place him. Taichi had told me you two had talked about kids but weren’t sure you were ready. It seemed likely that watching a child for a night or two would educate you on just how prepared you were or not. I’m very relieved everything worked out well.”
“Me too,” I said softly. “Life’s not always perfect, but things can get better. I try to remember that every day.”
* * *
“What were you and Koushiro talking about? It looked pretty serious for awhile.”
I glanced to the backseat, where Naozumi had once again practically passed out, happily exhausted from his day playing in the sun and running around with a bunch of other kids.
“My time spent in the hospital after Kenji’s death,” I said quietly. “He was curious.”
Taichi briefly glanced over at me. “You actually talked about it?”
“I know he helped you a lot while I was there, just supporting you and being a friend to you. And he gave us Naozumi. I wouldn’t talk about it with most of the others, but I felt like he’d earned the right to a few questions.”
My voice had gotten slightly defensive as I talked, which caused Taichi to raise his eyebrows. “I wasn’t judging you,” he said.
I reddened. “Sorry. I guess it is still a sensitive subject, even after all these years.”
“That’s understandable, Yamato... It was a really tough point in your life. I don’t think something like that ever fully goes away. I still have trouble talking about the attack myself, and I only experienced a fraction of everything you went through, both with the gang and with Ken.”
“Yeah...” I let out a sigh. “I’m just glad it’s all in the past now though.”
Taichi pulled the car onto our street and parked it in our usual spot in front of our house. He turned the ignition off, but didn’t get out, looking over at me. “It may be in the past, but that doesn’t mean you should forget it. We’ll both always remember it happened, but as long as we learn from it and don’t let it rule our lives, it’s okay to not forget it.”
I smirked. “When did you get so wise?”
He laughed. “It’s always been there, you just weren’t on my level enough to recognise it before.”
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yeah, it is!”
I shook my head, smiling fondly. “If you say so.”
He scowled, though I could see the amusement dancing in his eyes still. “Shut up.”
“Make me,” I said, grinning.
“If you insist,” he said, and leaned over and silenced me with a kiss. I didn’t protest.
We both shut up after that.
end chapter nineteen. (12 August 2016 0107AM)
soundtrack for chapter nineteen:
to destination - eden, to destination - my all, to destination - boundless love, laruku - stay away, laruku - shinshoku ~lose control~, laruku - jiyuu e no shoutai, laruku - c'est la vie, laruku - shizuka no umi de, laruku - and she said, laruku - shi no hai, laruku - it's the the end, laruku - kasou, laruku - trick, laruku - revelation, laruku - all dead, laruku - blurry eyes, laruku - neo universe, laruku - heaven's drive, laruku - driver's high, yukihiro - ring the noise