Endless Skies, Chapter 07
Sequel to "Unequivocal." Yamato thought the hardest part of raising his son as a single teen dad was the first year. But he's quickly finding out how wrong he was as he juggles his first year of college, the band, dating, and the terrible twos. Taito. AU for Tri.
[Digimon] M+, family/drama, 8139 (56158) words, published 02-17-17
previous chapter
Endless Skies
butterflie Chapter Seven
Blame
"See you tomorrow morning?" Taichi asks with a cheerful smile.
Yamato tries to return it. "Yeah," he says, and resists the urge to grab onto Taichi's shirt and yank him back through the door, especially when Taichi leans in and gives him a lingering kiss goodbye. He's surprised at how much he doesn't want Taichi to go back home.
He shuts the door after Taichi's gone and turns around to face the now-much-more-empty apartment. There's a sharp ache in his chest, and when he goes over to the sofa and sinks down into it, he's not too surprised to feel tears sliding down his cheeks. He feels a bit like a girl, crying just because his boyfriend's left, but there it is. He doesn't want Taichi to go. Taichi has been a big help this past week, especially in caring for Naoki, reducing his stress by a ton, but more than all that, he's simply enjoyed having him here. He's enjoyed the feeling of cooking for someone that appreciates it, and the feeling of a warm body next to him in the bed at night as he sleeps, and waking up to one of them cuddling the other. He's enjoyed the middle of the night sleepy sex, and the playful shower sex, and most of all he's enjoyed not feeling alone.
Naoki toddles over to him and climbs up on the sofa beside him, then into his lap, reaching out to pat his wet cheeks. "Daddy cry?"
Yamato takes a shuddering breath, and scoops his son up, hugging Naoki to him briefly. "Daddy's sad, Naoki," he admits, more tears dripping down his face.
"Daddy sad?" Naoki repeats.
"Yes baby," Yamato tells him, sitting up straighter and wiping at his face. "Daddy is sad. Daddy misses Taichi already." He sits there for a little bit longer as his tears slow, content to just hold Naoki as the ache in his heart lessens a bit. It's not as if he'll never see Taichi again. They didn't break up, Taichi's genuinely apologetic, they're still together. They've had a great time together and there will be plenty more in the future. Idly, he wonders what Taichi's reaction would be if he asked him to move in. He's not going to of course, it's way too soon in their relationship still, but the thought has certainly crossed his mind a few times over the past week.
"To'ro?" Naoki asks after a bit, looking at him with a toothy smile.
Yamato smiles a little. Naoki's loved Tonari no Totoro ever since Yamato first showed it to him, and usually asks to watch it at least once a week. He's tried showing Naoki other Miyazaki movies, and he does like them, but the kid always comes back to Totoro. "Okay," he agrees, lifting Naoki off his lap and setting him down on the sofa so he can get up and put in the movie in. "Totoro it is."
* * *
When he gets into bed later that night, an hour or two after putting Naoki to bed-thankfully now that Naoki knows he's getting a "big boy bed" soon, he's stopped fighting the crib quite so much, though he hasn't stopped fussing altogether-the bed feels cold and empty, without Taichi there to fill up the other half. He hates it. He can't believe he's gotten so used to having Taichi there in just a week. It takes him awhile to fall asleep, because every time he gets close he keeps absently flinging an arm over to the other side, meaning to curl it around Taichi, and then hitting the cold blanket and remembering he's alone.
He takes some consolation in the fact that Taichi doesn't seem to have fared any better than he did-he's got bags under his eyes and his face is a bit haggard when they meet up the next morning.
"Didn't sleep well?" Yamato asks him quietly when they're on the subway, making the usual ride over to the university.
Taichi makes a face, and then opens his mouth to respond, having to hastily cover an unsuspecting yawn that's managed to slip out. "Not really," he finally says, recalling all the tossing and turning he'd done. He'd been surprised last night to realise how much he'd missed having Yamato next to him while he slept. "You?"
Yamato just shrugs. "Fine."
Taichi knows him well enough to know that 'fine' means 'not at all.' He smothers a grin by faking another yawn, wondering if Yamato had missed him just as much. He'd certainly seemed to not want Taichi to leave yesterday. To be honest, Taichi hadn't wanted to leave either. He'd liked staying over at Yamato's, just being there with him. He'd felt like he'd belonged there. A couple of times throughout the week he'd caught himself fantasising about what it might be like to live there all the time. He won't dare suggest it though, because it's not his place, and it also seems to soon in their relationship. Even though they've been together a few years, Yamato hasn't been in the apartment all that long, and he probably wants to just enjoy it with him and Naoki before he thinks about the two of them living together. Not to mention that he's acted like a huge jerk lately, and they need to work on building their trust in each other again before they think about moving in. It's better to just not say anything.
"What are you thinking about?" Yamato asks suddenly. He's been watching Taichi through partially lidded eyes, curious at the ever changing emotions flashing across his face. He's seen amusement, then happiness, some curiosity, a touch of sadness, and finally a grimace all in the last several minutes.
Taichi blinks, his face going neutral, and looks over at him. "Nothing much," he says. "Just trying to remember if I did all my homework."
Yamato nods, not believing him at all. However, Taichi doesn't owe him his every thought, so as long as it doesn't affect their relationship, he's willing to let it be.
* * *
Later that evening Yamato's just finishing up making dinner when the doorbell rings. He quickly turns the heat down on the stove and then goes to answer it, wondering who it could be. He's not expecting company, and as much as he'd love for it to be Taichi, he's pretty sure Taichi is still at home, where he'd left him this afternoon after picking up Naoki.
"Dad," he says, surprise colouring his tone as he pulls open the door. "What are you doing here?"
His dad raises an eyebrow in amusement. "Is that any way to greet your father?"
He blushes, and opens the door wider, stepping aside. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you. Come on in."
His dad does so, and has barely managed to exchange his shoes for slippers when Naoki's suddenly running up to him, flinging his little arms around Hiroaki's legs, yelling "G'an'pa!" His eyes are shining brightly, and there's a wide grin on his face, making the dimples in his cheeks quite visible.
Hiroaki laughs, gently freeing himself and stepping further into the living room, shutting the door behind him. "Hey there, Naoki," he says, crouching down to the toddler's level. "I got you a present. Wanna see it?"
"See?" Naoki asks, catching sight of the brown paper bag in the older man's hand. He reaches out to touch it, and Hiroaki lets him, not protesting as Naoki pulls it away. He lets the little boy fumble with it for a bit, and then helps him to open it up, placing Naoki's hand inside and telling him to close his fingers around what's in there. Naoki does so, and after a moment pulls out something soft and grey as the bag falls to the floor. He turns it over to look at it, and then smiles wide. "To'ro!" he yells excitedly, hugging the stuffed toy close to his chest.
"You got him a Totoro plush?" Yamato asks his dad, watching as Naoki hugs his new toy again.
His dad just shrugs, straightening back up, wincing at the ache in his back. "You said he likes the movie a lot, I figured why not."
"More like obsessed with it," Yamato mutters, as he finally heads back into the kitchen to check on dinner. "You never did say what you stopped by for," he calls out, as he peers at the rice and decides it's done. "I doubt it was just to spoil your grandson," he adds.
His dad smiles, following him into the kitchen, Naoki not far behind him, the Totoro plush still clutched tightly in his hands. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay, now that Taichi's not here," his dad says.
"I'm fine," Yamato says honestly, turning the heat off and then pulling the fish out of the oven. "You want to stay for dinner?" he asks. "I can share my fillet with Naoki, he never eats a whole one anyway. It wouldn't be any trouble."
"Sure," his dad says agreeably. "Anything I can do to help?"
"If you'll handle Naoki, I'll start dishing the food out."
It's not quite the same as having Taichi there with him, but it's still nice, to have someone at dinner other than just him and Naoki, to have someone that he can actually talk to and have a conversation with. Yamato enjoys both the meal and his dad's visit, and is a little sorry when his dad goes back home. It reminds him that he's once again alone, something he's finding himself liking less and less.
* * *
Naoki's new bed is finally delivered to the apartment Wednesday afternoon, bringing relief to them both. Yamato's looking forward to not having to deal with any more tantrums at bedtime, or being woken in the middle of the night by the thud that indicates Naoki's climbed out of his crib again. Naoki's simply excited to have a real bed, and be done with the crib. He won't leave Yamato alone as he first disassembles the crib, stacking it along the walls of the hallway, intending to sell it to a recycle shop later, or maybe auction it off online. Then when Yamato begins to put the frame of the new bed together, Naoki's right there in the thick of it all, constantly trying to hand his Daddy pieces, thrusting them in his face more times than Yamato can count, and wanting to do whatever he can to help.
It gets frustrating, but Yamato reminds himself that his son's just excited, and there's no reason to yell at him. Finally he has it all assembled, and sets it up, then returns to the living room to drag the small mattress in, letting Naoki help tear off the plastic. He gets it on the bed, and then pulls out the new sheet set he'd bought in preparation, and makes the bed up.
He laughs when Naoki scrambles up onto it immediately, trying to get under the new covers. "It's not bedtime yet, baby," he tells him. "You've still got a few hours to go."
Naoki pouts for just a moment, and then gets to his feet. It only takes Yamato a second to realise he's about to jump. "No, Naoki," he says, his voice firm. "The bed is only for sleeping, not for jumping on. You could get hurt, or break the bed. We don't jump on it. Jumping on the bed leads to time-out."
"No," Naoki tells him, and Yamato's not sure if he's denying time-out or agreeing not to jump, but either way Naoki sits back down before sliding off the bed, which is all Yamato wants. He still has the occasional nightmare about Naoki running into the coffee table, he doesn't need him seriously injuring himself in any more ways.
* * *
"I think we should start thinking about touring," Ny says. "I know we're still indie, but a small one shouldn't be too hard to pull off, and it's never too early to begin considering it."
"Yes, that's great!" Daichi says excitedly, jumping up from his chair and pumping a fist in the air. His long silky black ponytail swings around behind him, and Yamato has to dodge it lest he get a face full of hair. It's Friday afternoon, after Yamato and Ratsuii's classes, and they're having a meeting in Daichi's office, folding chairs arranged in a circle in front of Daichi's desk. Nyusumi had called it, which doesn't surprise Yamato in the least. Ny is constantly pushing to keep moving the band forward. Though, Yamato hadn't expected talk of a tour already.
"So when were you thinking about?" Yamato asks him idly. He's expecting the answer to be something along the lines of summer hols next year-there's no way he and Ratz can tour during school.
Instead, Ny comes back with, "Shortly after the start of the new year," and Yamato can only stare at him.
"New Year's?"
"I know it's not a whole lot of time, but if it's just a small tour around the main areas of Honshuu, we could probably get it organised in three months."
"Sure!" Daichi says, finally sitting back down in his seat, his brown eyes shining as he begins plotting out a tour in his head. "There's a lot of small venues in Japan that we could play at." He holds out a hand, and starts ticking places off on his fingers. "There's Shelter, O-Nest, Live Inn Rosa-"
"Hold up," Yamato says, cutting him off. He looks over to Ratsuii for a moment, who's looking equally upset as he feels, and then looks back towards Ny and Daichi. "Ny, you know that's not possible for me and Ratsuii."
"Yeah," Ratsuii chimes in, "we've got classes, we can't just up and tour around Japan after the new year, not even just on the one island. Why not do a live or two here in Tokyo for now, and plan a tour over the summer?"
Ny glances between the two of them, looking cross as he leans forward in his folding chair. The metal scrapes across the tiled floor of Daichi's office as Nyusumi accidentally scoots forward, and Yamato winces at the loud noise. "Look, the plan was supposed to be that we focus on the band after high school. That's been the plan for a few years now. You two threw that off by going to university, and I don't see why Kenji and I should have to sacrifice the band now for you guys. The band is supposed to be our top priority, and we're going to go major with or without you."
Yamato's nearly seething by the end of Ny's little speech, hardly believing what he's hearing, and another glance to Ratsuii tells him his friend isn't faring much better-he's actually clenching a fist in his lap, and it's startling to see, because Ratsuii so rarely gets angry, and shows signs of it even less. More than that though, Yamato's feeling hurt, and imagines Ratz probably is too. They've all been in this band since they were fourteen-five years-and they've always been in it together. To hear Ny talk like that, to dismiss both him and Ratsuii as if everything they've contributed means nothing, as if their wants and needs don't matter... it hurts.
"So, what you're saying is, Ratsuii and I don't matter to the band?"
"Of course you matter! You give us our mascot, after all, right?" Kenji says, giving an awkward little laugh. Yamato barely spares him an annoyed glance. Kenji's always doing that, always trying to joke around and lighten the mood when things get tense. Most of the time, it works, and none of them mind, but this joke is weak, and the subject too personal to be brushed aside with a simple laugh or two.
"Of course you matter," Ny says. "The band needs you-and that's the problem. We need both of you, and you're not available the way you should be."
"And I suppose I was unavailable all throughout the summer hols, when I was killing myself for all those photoshoots and interviews to promote us, and nearly lost my voice trying to get our new album recorded oh-so-perfectly for your exacting standards! Is that right?" Yamato hisses, scowling deeply at Ny. As much as Ny's perfectionist ways have driven him crazy over the years, he's never felt so irritated with the other teen as he does at this moment.
"Guys, guys, calm down, it's not a big deal," Daichi interjects, trying to placate everyone. "We can work this out."
"It is a big deal," Ratsuii says, scraping his chair back as he stands. "You and Nyusumi both need to wise up to that fact, and fast, or this band will get nowhere." He folds up his chair and leans it against the wall, then gives one last glance to Yamato before he leaves the office, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Kenji gapes after him a moment, and doesn't even try to make a joke this time. He just slumps back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and looking unhappy, strands of black hair falling in his face as he tilts his head down. He ignores them entirely.
For a moment, the silence is the only thing in the room, and it feels deafening.
"Yamato, don't be like this," Ny finally says, doing his best to sound earnest. "I could see how much this band meant to you almost from the day I first asked you to join. You can't want to lose it just for school."
Yamato stands too, shaking his head as he looks down at Nyusumi. He doesn't bother to put his chair away. "I'm sorry, but I'm with Ratsuii on this," he says. "He and I are just as much a part of this band, and you and Daichi need to start taking us into consideration as well."
He takes his leave after that, not giving the room a backwards glance, and makes his way to the Yagami apartment, where he'd left Naoki with Hikari earlier. It takes him a little while to get there, but he's no less upset when he finally does. He sees Taichi's shoes by the door when Hikari opens it. "Taichi's done with his soccer friends?" he asks, and she nods. He takes Naoki from her with a terse smile and thanks, and then makes his way back to Taichi's room.
The door's open, and Taichi smiles wide when he looks up at the noise and sees Yamato. "Hey!" he says, getting up from where'd been sprawled on the bed reading manga. He comes over and kisses Yamato briefly, making Naoki fuss as he gets squished between them. Yamato doesn't kiss him back, too angry still, and Taichi pulls back after a moment, the smile falling. "What's wrong?"
Yamato takes a deep breath, and then goes to sit down at the desk, Naoki in his lap. "Ny's got some nerve," he finally says, and then goes on to explain what happened at the band's meeting, getting even more upset as he recalls what Ny had said. "I know Ny's always been a little zealous about the band, and tends to go crazy around lives, and I know going major is important to him-but it's important to all of us, we've all helped make the band into what it is today, and I don't think it'll hurt if it takes us longer than planned. I'm pretty sure we'll still go major while we're in university, it's not like Ratsuii and I are asking him to hold off for ten years," he complains.
"Have you talked to him about it?" Taichi asks, and Yamato scowls.
"Ratsuii and I both have before, a couple times," he says. "This just isn't like Ny, he usually tries to make everyone happy."
Taichi raises an eyebrow, finally going back over to his bed to lie down on his stomach. "Really? I know I don't know him as well, but I always got the sense he put himself first."
Yamato sighs. "He does, to a point, but not... He's not usually this selfish and self-centred. He likes to see others happy, but he won't sacrifice his own happiness just for others. That's why I said he usually tries to find a way to make everyone happy-to where he's equally as happy as everybody else. That he's completely dismissing what Ratsuii and I want is not like him."
"Well, it sounds like you guys got pretty heated today... Maybe give him some time to cool off, and then try talking to him?"
Yamato sighs. "I don't see what else we can say that we haven't already that would get him to change his mind." He absently runs his hands through Naoki's hair, trying to soothe the toddler as he starts to fuss, bored. "Thanks for letting me vent though, I guess I should get going before this little guy winds up throwing a full-blown tantrum."
Taichi smiles at that, though concern still crinkles in the corners of it. "Sure," he says. "Call me later?"
Yamato nods, and goes over to give him a quick kiss goodbye before he heads out of the room, grabbing the diaper bag by the front door before he slips his shoes back on and starts the commute back home.
* * *
Yamato finds it hard to cool off during the following week-and that Ratsuii's still upset about it doesn't help either. They share their fundamentals of music class together on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, and each time Yamato arrives and slides into his seat, Ratsuii's ranting at him about how insensitive Ny is before he's even gotten his notebook out. Of course, he's feeling the same way, so he doesn't really mind too much.
When Friday afternoon rolls around, they have another meeting-without Daichi this time. After his third class for the afternoon is over, he meets up with Ratsuii near the front of the university, and they make their way over to Ny's house, where Emi lets them in. Her hair's changed again-the majority of it is black, with two big streaks of bright red coming down either side in the front. Yamato wonders what Ny's hair will look like, not that he has to wait long to find out.
Kenji greets them awkwardly once they get up to the bedroom, and Yamato looks over at Ny. He's got the same colours as his twin, but instead his entire left side is dyed the same shade of red as Emi's, while the right is completely black. It's a bold contrast, but it goes well the outfit he's wearing-one pants leg is red and black plaid, with the other black, while his black shirt is trimmed with red plaid, and of course everything is covered with all kinds of straps, zippers, and studs, and topped off with studded bracelets. It's not a look Yamato would ever wear casually, but Ny can pull it off.
Normally he'd let Ny know this, but today he's ignoring Yamato and Ratsuii, sitting cross-legged on his bed, partially turned away from the door, arms folded across his chest and a sullen look on his face.
Ratsuii and Yamato both greet Kenji back, and then glance at each other in concern over Ny's attitude. They'd agreed earlier that they couldn't let this go on anymore, that they needed to talk to him and lay out exactly how they were feeling and what they thought of how Ny was acting, but it's not a good sign that he already doesn't seem receptive to talking. Still, Yamato takes a seat in Ny's desk chair and Ratsuii leans against the drawers next to him.
"Can we talk?" Ratsuii opens with, deliberately directing the question towards Ny.
For a moment, Ny doesn't respond, then he quickly glances over at him before looking away again. "Go ahead," he mutters.
Ratsuii looks over at Yamato, who nods. He's fine with going first. "Ny, look," he starts off. "Ratsuii and I have both agreed that this needs to be said. We're very unhappy with the way things have been lately, with you and the band. You've made us both feel like our needs aren't important, like our contributions to the band mean nothing at all. You treat us as if we don't care about the band as much as you, and act as if we're easily replaceable. The band is supposed to be a family, we've all agreed on that for a few years now, and yet neither of us are really feeling that anymore."
"It feels like you've become very controlling and inconsiderate with how the band is run," Ratsuii says, taking up where Yamato has left off. "I know you've always had a tendency to need things to go your way, but this has been going beyond that for the past few months now. You plan things with complete disregard to us and our schedules, you never check with us before accepting last-minute plans that Daichi tacks on, and like Yamato said, you treat us as if we don't bring much to the band." He stops, but Ny's still sitting there with a stubborn, mulish look on his face, not saying anything.
Yamato decides to carry on. "Ny, we both know the band is important to you, and how much it means to you to go major. We're not disputing that, but you don't seem to believe that it means just as much to me and Ratsuii, that we both love it as much as you and Kenji do. We want to go major too, we want to succeed."
"But school is also important to us," Ratsuii adds. "Maybe it's harder for you to understand, but we've got kids we have to think about, we can't just pin everything on the band and hope it all works out-we need to have a back-up future planned, just in case the band doesn't go major, or something else happens-we need to know our kids will still be taken care of."
There's a moment's pause, a brief heartbeat of silence. Yamato is staring at Ratsuii with a panicked look on his face, but Ratz isn't picking up on it, isn't getting what he's just done. Then Kenji speaks up. "Kids, as in... plural?" he asks quietly, his confusion obvious. Even Ny's turned towards him now, a baffled look replacing his surly pout.
Ratsuii gives him a blank look for a moment, and they can all see it in his expression as he goes back over his words in his head-the moment he realises exactly what he's said. "Well, shit," he says quietly, and then sighs out deeply. He looks back and forth between Nyusumi and Kenji. "Guess I might as well tell you," he mumbles.
"You've got a kid?" Kenji asks, his voice rising in surprise, wobbling a bit on the last word. "Like, a little kid, like Yamato's kid?"
"She's six now," Ratsuii says, and there's another moment of quiet, and then-
"Luna?" Ny's voice is even higher than Kenji's, and filled with a mingling of incredulity and disbelief.
"She doesn't know," Ratsuii admits. "Her mom died giving birth to her. I was only thirteen... Luna's grandparents wanted nothing to do with her once I was given custody. I was so young, I cared a lot for her mom and losing her really hurt me, I didn't know what to do. My mom was worried about what people would think if they knew the truth, so she said Luna was her daughter. She thinks I'm her brother. She's my whole world," Ratsuii says. His voice is tight, his words hushed, and the room is dead silent as Ny and Kenji listen to his secret for the first time. "I don't want to fail her, I hate that I lie to her every single day, I feel so guilty about it-I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she's always taken care of, even if that includes putting school before the band right now."
"That's sort of how I feel about Naoki," Yamato chimes in softly. "I feel guilty that he doesn't have a mom, I always try so hard to make it up to him that she didn't want him, and I worry every day that I made the wrong choice in raising him alone. So if going to school will help make sure that Naoki is always taken care, then that's what I'll do, even if it's not what I'd originally planned on doing. It doesn't mean I love the band any less, or that I don't want to see it go major. It just means that now I have something that I love even more than the band, something that I'd do anything for, even die for if I had to."
"Well, fuck," Kenji says after a moment, looking at Ratsuii. "Ratz, man... I had no idea. Why didn't you tell us?"
Ratsuii gives him a wry smile. "Believe it or not, I just didn't want you to tease me for the rest of my life."
Kenji scratches his head, looking a bit sheepish. "I wouldn't have! ...Well, not much, anyway." He pauses, and then grins. "Any chance we can make her our back-up mascot?"
Ratsuii groans, putting his hands up to his face. "No," he says, his words slightly muffled. "No mascots."
"I'm still a little upset," Ny says suddenly, ignoring their banter entirely. "We had plans, and I feel like you and Yamato changed them on us last minute without consulting us or seeing how we felt about it-not unlike how you guys feel about my last minute plans, I would guess." He holds up a hand when Yamato starts to protest unhappily. "But-I suppose I can't really argue with your reasoning, for either of you. I won't say that I can completely understand how you feel, since I don't have kids and probably never will, but I feel like I can get where you're coming from. So I'll offer my apologies, and try to be more understanding in the future."
"I think that's really all we want," Yamato says, glancing to Ratsuii. "We're not saying care less about the band, or stop trying to go major. We just want you to understand why school is important to us, and to work with us instead of around us, or against us."
Ny nods to that. He's not smiling, and it's clear he is still a bit upset, but for the first time, he's offering an apology, so Yamato feels that he's being sincere, and things really will finally start improving.
"What if we do a fanclub live in December sometime?" Ratsuii asks, sort of as a peace offering. "Sometime during the winter hols? We could have one on Friday, and one on Saturday, hold them in two different venues in different areas of Tokyo. And then we can still also see about planning a tour around Japan next summer during the hols."
At last, Ny smiles, his face brightening some. "Yeah, a fanclub live could be fun! Maybe advertise it as a preview for the summer tour, pick smaller venues with limited space, make it feel like the tickets are special-it could get people hyped up for the later tour and maybe even get us some new fans, if we can get it talked about in some of the magazines."
"Yeah!" Kenji says, also starting to look excited, though Yamato privately suspects he's more happy that they're finally getting along again-Kenji's always content to go along with whatever the rest of them want. "Maybe we could do something special at the live, something that'll get people almost fighting over the tickets or something."
Yamato rolls his eyes. "We don't want to incite violence," he says. "But doing something special is a good idea. Maybe a meet and greet, or maybe we could go all out and do a visual kei look for once, or play a never before heard song or something."
"I'll talk to Daichi about it," Ny says. His smile is wide, and genuine.
"Just don't make any permanent plans yet," Ratsuii warns him.
"I won't."
Still Ratsuii fixes him with a look, his face serious. "I'm holding you to that," he says. "It's important if this band's going to work."
Nyusumi sighs. "I know, I know."
* * *
"You seem in a better mood," Taichi remarks the next day. He's spending it at Yamato's, content to just hang around the apartment for now. Yamato's finding that more and more these days he likes just staying in and being with the two people that mean the most to him.
"I am, I guess. Mostly just relieved," Yamato admits. They're stretched out on his bed-having recently put Naoki down for his nap, and he is so glad the kid's finally staying in his bed, even if he's not actually sleeping-Taichi sitting up against the headboard while Yamato lays to his right, one leg slung over Taichi's.
"About what?"
"The band. I think Ratz and I finally got Ny to see where we're coming from, so hopefully there won't be any more last-minute surprises," Yamato says.
"What about that tour he wanted?"
"He's agreed to wait until next summer, we're gonna try to just do a small live or two over the winter hols."
"Hmm." Taichi reaches out and absently begins to trail his fingers lightly up and down Yamato's left leg. "Do I get to go on this tour with you guys?"
"If you want." Taichi runs his fingers up his inner thigh, dipping slightly under his shorts, and Yamato shudders at the shiver that runs down his spine. "It probably won't be-oh." He lets out a little gasp as Taichi goes up further, knuckles barely brushing his boxer-clad balls. "-won't be as fun as you're imagining it," he finishes. "Having fun?" he asks pointedly, as Taichi goes back down his leg.
Taichi grins. "Mm-hmm."
"Can we at least take this to the other room?"
Taichi blinks, pulling his hand away completely. "Why?"
Yamato's silent for a moment, before reluctantly admitting, "I don't want Naoki to hear. He's probably still awake."
"The living room's not that much further away!"
Yamato shrugs, and starts tracing little hearts with his finger on Taichi's belly, letting the point of it stop just above the edge of his pants. "You must not want it that badly then."
Taichi groans. He doesn't understand Yamato's reluctance with this, given that the kid's only two. "Fine," he mumbles, freeing himself from Yamato's leg and slipping off the bed.
After a moment, Yamato glances at the clock beside his bed before following him. Taichi doesn't know it yet, but he's not going to be the one topping today.
When Yamato gets to the living room, Taichi's already claimed a spot on the sofa, and he grins and pats the cushion next to him. Yamato raises an eyebrow, but obediently takes a seat. They've got plenty of time before Naoki's nap will be done, they just have to keep quiet. So with that in mind, they spend a fair amount of time just kissing, sitting side-by-side on the sofa, hip-to-hip, thighs pressed together, swallowing up each other’s noises like they're both starving for them, getting a little desperate about it as the temperature rises between them.
Yamato brings his hand up to cup Taichi’s neck, thumb brushing lightly over a pulse-point, pulling him closer until Taichi’s practically in his lap, and the other boy shifts. He plants one knee into the couch to anchor himself and swings the other leg over Yamato’s, sitting himself down and groaning into his boyfriend's mouth when he realises how hard Yamato already is.
“That for me?” Taichi asks, his voice low and sultry, grinning against the other boy’s lips. He grinds down just once, causing Yamato to hiss and pant, his hands flying to grip Taichi’s hips and hold him still.
And Yamato wants to say something snarky back, he really does, but all he manages is an almost pained groan, his dick twitching in his shorts, the tip already beginning to leak when Taichi grinds down on him one more time, grinning still.
Yamato leans up to capture Taichi’s lips, to kiss him hard and get him back, but Taichi leans back, chuckling slightly, gasping some while Yamato’s fingers start digging into his hips, getting a little mean about it.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Taichi chides, swaying around a little, dropping sucking little kisses down Yamato’s neck, behind his ear, at the back of his jaw, hitting all of Yamato’s hot spots, and the other teen groans, too loud.
“Shh,” Taichi breathes against his neck, and Yamato’s head thunks back against the sofa, a shiver running through him. His dick is pressing up against the zipper of his shorts so hard now he can feel all the little grooves-he swears he can, fuck.
Taichi’s hands are blazing on his already-too-hot skin, down his neck, tracing his collarbone, even over his thin t-shirt. He’s on fire, his brain is fritzing out every time Taichi’s hips shift, he can’t think past what little friction he’s getting, and his hands start to wander. Up the back of Taichi’s shirt, tracing the curve of his spine when he arches his back, and he hears Taichi chuckle softly as he leans back, Yamato’s hands supporting him as he bends backwards, his head tilted back to expose his gorgeous throat, and Yamato thinks he’s showing off until Taichi peeks back up at him, grinning wickedly and does a goddamn full body roll over him, and Yamato’s tether snaps-it's time Taichi finds out who's in control now.
He surges forward, shooting off the sofa and landing them both on the carpet with a loud thud that neither of them are aware of, too busy yanking at each other’s clothes and licking into each other’s mouths to realise they've also just barely missed the coffee table, a self-satisfied little smirk turning up the corners of Taichi’s mouth still.
Yamato yanks the shirt right over Taichi's head, leaving his hair a dishevelled mess that lights a fire in his belly, his eyes hot and hungry, and Taichi isn’t smiling so much anymore under the heat of that look. His pupils shiver and expand and he lets out a little whine, wriggling out of his pants and from Yamato’s grasp, darting toward the front door while his boyfriend lets out an indignant, “Get back here!”
Taichi ignores him in favour of turning over the school bag he'd brought with him-for what, Yamato's not sure-letting the contents clatter out all over the entryway, pens rolling away from him and papers scattering everywhere, and he snatches up the small bottle of lube, about to book it back over to the sofa when he runs face-first into Yamato, not having realised the other boy had followed him.
Yamato raises his eyebrows, his eyes silently asking why Taichi didn't just get his lube out of the bathroom.
“Was supposed to be quicker,” is all Taichi says, pushing Yamato down on the floor and crawling over him.
One or both of them is going to get rug burn in some unpleasant places but neither of them seem to care about that as Taichi squirts some of the slick liquid into Yamato’s hand and lifts up on his knees a little, giving Yamato the room he needs to run his fingers over Taichi’s tight little hole, circling his rim a few times and getting Taichi’s heart pounding in his ears and his dick leaking.
“C’mon, c’mon,” Taichi whines impatiently, and Yamato smirks up at him, feeling a little spiteful.
“This for me?” he mocks, running a finger up Taichi’s aching cock, from base to tip, picking up precum as he goes.
Taichi full-on growls and grabs the hand that's still tortuously circling his rim by the wrist. They lock eyes on each other-no more screwing around-and Yamato swallows a little, feeling his dick throb and strain up against his zipper even more.
Taichi gives a curt little nod and Yamato mirrors him, and then Taichi sinks down, hissing a little at the sting, making a punched-out noise from deep in his chest, and then he’s rocking his hips and stirring himself up and letting his jaw hang open, blissful. Yamato groans, frozen in place as Taichi rides his finger, and it’s not too long before he pants, "More," and Yamato adds a second finger. He has to stop for a moment to re-slick his fingers before he adds the third, and in no time at all, Taichi is fucking himself on all four of Yamato’s fingers, his hands splayed out over Yamato’s chest for balance, his stomach muscles clenching beautifully under all that tan, luscious skin, a thin sheen of sweat making him look almost ethereal.
Taichi’s dick is smearing precum over Yamato’s stomach with every roll of his hips, leaking steadily, and Yamato knows his own dick is leaking so much he’s sure he’s got a stain on the front of his shorts at this point.
They’re both panting and groaning and straining in their own rights, and then Taichi sits himself down hard on Yamato’s fingers and circles his hips, and Yamato can’t take it anymore. He topples the brunette over onto his back, yanking his fingers out and getting his own shorts shoved down his hips just enough to let his aching dick spring free, and Taichi’s lusty, half-lidded eyes widen a little at how red the tip is, flushed with arousal and dying for some relief.
“You ready?” Yamato pants, slicking up his hand one more time and getting his dick wet, and Taichi gets a little distracted by that red tip poking out over a pale fist over and over again. His mouth goes a little dry and he starts to lean in, wants it in his mouth, but Yamato’s other hand presses gently on his shoulder, pinning him to the floor with a little thump, bringing Taichi back from wherever his brain had drifted off to.
“I said, you ready?” Yamato asks, his voice a little strained, and Taichi nods a little feverishly, lifting his hips up, an invitation.
Yamato presses the tip of his dick to Taichi’s loose, wet little hole, presses until he feels the pop, the head of his dick breeching the tight ring of muscle, and he groans at how easily he can slide home after that, bringing their hips flush in one quick, fluid motion.
Taichi’s mouth drops open, a gasp catching in his throat, and he forgets to breath for a moment too long, inhaling one shuddering, dry breath as his thighs begin to shake, his hands digging into the carpet.
They both still for a moment, chests heaving and looking into each others eyes, heavy glances dark with lust and need and want, and then Yamato pulls out almost all the way and slams back in-slow at first, loving the hard, heavy drag of his cock as Taichi twitches around him and starts begging for more, more, more…
So Yamato hikes the other boy’s hips up, pulling him impossibly closer, getting his tan legs up around his ribs, and clutches at the top of Taichi’s thighs for leverage before he starts to really rail into him, the obscene sound of skin hitting skin cracking through the room, punctuated by these little noises coming out staccato from Taichi’s throat, "Ah-ah-ah!," spurring Yamato on.
“Fuck, yes,” Taichi moans, a little too loud, and Yamato reaches up and pinches his left nipple, which has the exact opposite effect he was planning on. Taichi nearly screams at the sensation, and Yamato slaps his hand over the other boy’s mouth, looking down at him with wild eyes, and he wants to stop moving, wants to still and listen for any sounds coming from the toddler’s room, but he can only manage half of that.
Yamato’s hips still angle up almost on their own, and Taichi’s eyes roll back into his head-and he’s suddenly spilling hot and wet all over himself, Yamato’s hand still clutched tightly over his mouth and muffling the sounds he’s making as he tightens up inside, twitching and practically begging Yamato to follow right behind him.
And that’s too much, right there, Yamato can’t take it, the sight of Taichi coming completely untouched underneath him, dirtying up his gorgeously tan chest with streak after streak of his own come, and he yanks his own hand back, grips the top of Taichi’s thighs so hard he might leave bruises and slams into him so hard that they both start inching along the carpet, Taichi lax and spent beneath him but still trying to meet his every thrust, lazily tugging at his softening cock as he does.
“Oh my god,” Taichi breathes, his chest still heaving a bit, and he squeezes around Yamato one more time before the teen gives in and comes and comes, Taichi’s body wringing him out for all he’s worth. His orgasm lasts for what feels like forever, and he just kind of slumps against one of Taichi’s still-bent knees, presses his forehead to it and tries to catch his breath.
He’s vaguely aware that Taichi’s hand is still pumping his own dick and he isn’t all that surprised when he feels Taichi’s body clench up around him for a moment, and he hears him gasp, hears the little patter of drops hitting the other boy’s stomach again, and that makes his own dick twitch, still nestled inside of Taichi’s body, and give one more feeble spurt.
They’re both speechless for a long time, trying to catch their breath, letting their bodies cool, until Yamato finally peels himself off Taichi’s leg and grouses, “You fucking tease."
Taichi snorts, his eyes still closed but his mouth curling in a grin. “You love it,” he accuses back, and Yamato’s response is to pull out completely, no warning. Taichi makes another punched-out noise at the loss, drifting back enough to start noticing the little patches of discomfort all over his body, and he groans a little, his eyebrows furrowing.
“You okay?” he hears Yamato ask, from a little further away than he’d have thought-he’s stood up.
“Rug burn,” is all Taichi can manage to say, trying to move and regretting it.
“Shit,” Yamato swears, and Taichi cracks open one eye as his boyfriend pads down the hall and into the bathroom, emerges a few moments later holding up a tube and a washcloth
Yamato crawls back between Taichi legs, grabbing his own t-shirt as he does, and uses the flimsy cotton to quickly wipe up the mess on Taichi’s torso before nudging him and asking him to turn over. Taichi does as he’s asked, hissing a little, and when he’s flat on his belly he hears Yamato suck in a breath through his teeth.
“You have terrible bedside manner,” Taichi gripes, folding his arms in front of himself and pillowing his forehead.
Yamato considers playfully swatting Taichi on the ass for the remark, but figures he ought to play nice, given the state of the other boy’s back. It’s covered in discoloured splotches, especially at the tip of his shoulder blades, where he’s bleeding just a little. Whoops, he thinks.
Yamato takes his time pressing feather-light kisses and the warm cloth to all the burns and then spreading an antibacterial ointment over any places where skin split open, and he’s so engrossed in his care that it takes him a little while to notice how Taichi is staring at him over his shoulder, his one visible brown eye cracked open and almost black with lust, his body rising off the carpet with his heavy breathing.
In one quick, fluid motion, Yamato has his own back pressed to the carpet and Taichi is on top of him, leaning over him with his hands on either side of Yamato’s head and his dick hard and leaking again on Yamato’s stomach.
Taichi grins, wicked and seductive and smooth, and growls out, “Your turn.”
And all Yamato can think as Taichi grinds against him, his lips claimed in a bruising kiss, is how right it feels having Taichi here, and how much he doesn't want him to have to go home.
I'd like to mention that the ending scene there was written by my friend sakuradite over on fanfiction.net; I was having trouble with the scene and she helped me out! She gave me permission to change it up a little, but if you want the original, she'll be posting it on her account~
next chapter