Waiting, Book 2, Chapter 11
The hell Matt had been living is finally over. Ken is out of Matt's life for good. Matt can now put everything behind him and start over. But a certain gang seems to think differently... Taito. Sequel to Untold Secrets, but works as stand alone.
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: This just in. Digimon does not fall under the ownership of butterflie, as previously thought. It appears that it actually belongs to a company called Toei Animation. More to come on this later.
Song is Original Prankster, and it belongs to The Offspring.
Author’s Notes: ugh... *moans* I love this story to pieces, but it’s becoming so difficult to write, mainly because I’m finally nearing the end and things are falling together, but they’re so hard to piece and still have everything work out right. But hopefully I will have this finished before college the coming September. That’s my goal. Enjoy this part. Also, somehow I got the band all mixed up.. Not sure how. So I’ll clarify. Ny does keyboard and some backup vocals. Kenji is drums. Ratsuii is the lead guitarist and also the main backup vocals. Sorry for the confusion. It’s been awhile since I’d worked on this...
--->Translation:
|none is needed!|
Waiting
Chapter 11-Boundary Lines
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|Life life Cannot go by the letter
|Time time Prozac can make it better
|Noise noise Any kind will do
|Can you feel it slip away when it's all on you?|
“Why do you think he left so abruptly?” I asked Hikari.
She just shrugged.
Irritated, I turned away from her. I stared at the wall for awhile. Shifted in my chair. Sighed loudly a couple of times, shifted some more. This was driving me crazy. I stood suddenly. “I’m going for a walk,” I announced.
Hikari only shrugged some more. I rolled my eyes at her and left. I went straight to the elevators and pressed the button for the lobby. I needed some fresh air.
I never got outside. Just as I reached the lobby, okaasan and otousan cornered me. “What’s up?” I asked them. I was anxious. Had they heard something about Kento? God, I hope he didn’t die.
“Taichi, we’ve talked to the police. Kento’s condition hasn’t changed any, but they’ve agreed to let you come home as long as you don’t go anywhere,” otousan explained.
“Not even to Yamato’s?”
He shook his head, and okaasan spoke to me for the first time since she’d heard what I’d done. “You’re under house arrest, Taichi.” She didn’t look at me as she spoke the next words. “Of course, you don’t have to go home. You’re free to stay here if you’d like.”
And it hit me. She wasn’t mad at me. She was scared of me. Because I suddenly wasn’t her son anymore. Instead, I was a violent person who’d almost killed someone. Never mind that the same someone had hurt countless people, and probably raped and killed as well. Never mind that the same oerson had almost killed the one guy I cared about more than anyone else next to my family. To her, I was now a stranger. She had thought she knew me, and now she doesn’t anymore.
It hurt. I didn’t want my mother scared of me. But I didn’t know any way to make her not scared of me. And I’d be damned if I was going to stay here all night just because she didn’t want me at home. “Actually, I think I’ll go home with you guys,” I told her, willing her to look at me. Look at me, please! I’m still your son.
She didn’t look. “Alright. Go get your sister then. We’ll wait here.”
“‘k.” I boarded the elevators again and went up to our waiting room. “Hikari, come on. We’re leaving.”
The relief was very evident in her eyes. “You can go home too?”
“Yeah. Okaasan says I’m under ‘house arrest’ though. Can’t go anywhere.”
“Oh.” She grabbed her jacket from the chair and stood. “Is it still raining outside?”
I shrug. I’d forgotten it had been raining. “I don’t know.”
We walked in silence back to the elevators. On the ride down, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Hikari, are you mad at me?”
“No.”
“Are you... scared of me?”
“Should I be?”
“Okaasan is. So are you?”
“Maybe a little,” she conceded.
“I’d never hurt you Hikari,” I told her. “I hadn’t meant to hurt Kento either. But he almost killed Matt. It scared me, and made me angry. I lost control.”
“That’s the part that’s scary. What if I make you mad and you lose control?”
“You’re my sister, and I love you, no matter how mad you could possibly make me. I already hated Kento, and it’s not like he’s related to me.”
“Yeah.. I know. It’s just that it wasn’t like you, Taichi.”
“Sorry.”
But really, it was like me. I did it, didn’t I? It’s not like you ever really know yourself. You may think you do, but then you do something you never thought you’d be capable of, and it turns out you had it in you all along, and that was like you. I’d have liked to explain all that to Hikari, but I wasn’t sure I couldn’t put it into words right, and I didn’t want to scare her even more. So I stayed quiet and hoped she and okaasan would come around soon.
+-+-+-+
Somewhere the phone was ringing interminably. It was so loud, and the hour so quiet. I groaned at it, wishing someone would answer it already. How was a person expected to get any sleep around here?
Just as I was about to give up and go answer it, it ceased its damn ringing. Either someone answered it, or the person gave up. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, but soon otousan’s face was hovering over mine.
“Taichi,” he whisphered.
“What?” I said loudly.
“Shh,” he admonished. “Get dressed and try not to wake your sister.”
I rubbed my eyes, still sleepy and confused about what was going on. “What time is it?” I asked, quietly this time.
“About 4:30. Come on, hurry up.” He was gone.
Unsteadily, I got to my feet and pulled on the clothes I’d worn last night. 4:30, I thought to myself. What could be so important that Otousan has to get me up so early? Then another thought hit me. Oh no! Had Kento died?
I went out to the living room where otousan was waiting, terrified that this was exactly what had happened. “Where are we going?” I asked him, though I pretty much already knew the answer. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere except back to the hospital, thanks to the house arrest I’d been placed under.
“The hospital,” he replied shortly. “Now stop asking questions and let’s go.”
The silent ride to the hospital seemed much longer than it really was, and I was thankful. It gave me a chance to wake up a bit more, think some. Though I was terrified. Please, don’t let Kento have died. I couldn’t handle it if he died. My world would go to pieces.
We got to the hospital and parked, running quickly through the light rain that was still falling. A young harried looking man in dirtied white coat accosted us in the lobby. “Yamagai-san?” he asked.
“Hai,” my father said, bowing. I bowed as well, then looked around. A bunch of police were still milling around the place, though not quite as many as there had been this evening.
“Is he dead?” I blurted out. The doctor looked at me strangely.
“I don’t have any details,” he responded. I’m just here to take you up to the waiting room. Come this way,” and he led us over to an elevator marked, “Staff Use Only. Key authorization required.” He pulled out what looked like one of these key cards and inserted it into a panel next to the elevator. After punching in a few buttons, the panel beeped at him and the elevator doors slid open. We got on, and I wondered why we were going this way instead of the normal way. This elevator was way out of the way of the others.
When we got to the floor Kento was on, I got my answer. Some reporters were milling about, hovering around the elevator doors and waiting rooms. Come to think of it, some of the people downstairs in the lobby were probably reporters too. Shit. What had happened? What was going on?
The young doctor stepped out, and motionedfor us to quickly follow. We did so, managing not to attract the attention of anyone, and he led us to a room far away from the reporters. He let us inside, and told us to sit tight, someone would be along shortly.
My father nodded again, and stiffly took a seat in one of the hard plastic chairs. I just stood, walking aimlessly around the room, worrying, hoping things would be okay.
About ten minutes later, the door opened again. I turned towards it, and blinked in surprise at the man that stepped through it. “Dr. Kaos!” I exclaimed.
“Hello Taichi,” he greeted me. “It’s been awhile."
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I was the doctor on call when Jin-san was brought in."
"Oh..." Jin-san was Kento, I knew. So this was definitely about Kento.
"Is..." suddenly the words were a lump in my throat, stuck fast, and I couldn't get them out.
"Quite the opposite. He's awake."
I almost cried with relief. "He is? Then why am I here? I seriously doubt he wants to see me."
"No. No, he doesn't want to see you. But someone else did."
"Huh? I... I don't understand."
"I'll bring him in, and your father and I will go to my office. I need to talk to him. Okay?"
"I..I guess so. Who wants to see me?"
He stood and went to the door of the waiting room, opening it.
I swear, I almost passed out when I saw who walked in.
"Kenji?"
"Hi," he greeted me quietly. No smile.
I was barely aware of otousan and Dr. Kaos leaving the room, all I could focus on was Kenji. I was really confused. "I don't get it. Why are you here? Why did you want to see me?"
"I wanted to talk to you." He came and sat down across from me, but he didn't look at me.
"Uh.... about what?"
"Did you know," he began, somewhat stiffly. "Did you know.. that Kento and Sento are my older brothers?"
"...What?" Suddenly I felt very faint. "I'm sorry.. I'm... I'm not getting this..."
"Kento and Sento are my brothers," he repeated. "Older brothers."
"How... how come you never told us? Did Yamato know?"
He shook his head. "No. He didn't know until he ran into me here tonight."
Well, that explained why he'd left in a hurry... "Why didn't you say?" I demanded, starting to get angry. After all that Kento and Sento had done to Yamato... "Why didn't you ever stop them? Why didn't you say something? They almost killed him, Kenji! How could you know that and not ever say anything, do anything? He trusted you! I thought you were our friend.."
Now he was the one looking confused. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one that almost killed Kento."
"He almost killed Yamato!" I shouted. "They put him in the hospital for a week!"
He looked at me, frowning. "What are you talking about?"
I closed my eyes, turned my head away from him. "That week when his father left on a business trip, and I stayed with him. He came home early, walked in on us making out.. he ran me out of the house, and Yamato just ran. They attacked him in an alley, stabbed him several times and left him there to die.. He almost did. Two girls found him the next day and got him to the hospital just in time. Your scum brothers almost killed him, and you're offended because I almost killed Kento." I opened my eyes and glanced at him. "The only reason I'm glad Kento is alive now is because I didn't want to go to jail. How can you defend him? I don't care if he's your brother, he doesn't deserve it."
"I'm not defending him!"
"You are! Getting mad at me because of what I did, when they're a million times worse! You shouldn't care about them at all."
"You know nothing," he hissed at me, suddenly seething with anger. I was taken by surprise. "I hate them. You couldn't even begin to understand. I know what they are. Do you think I wouldn't, Taichi, living with them for seventeen years? Don't you think I know better than anyone just how awful my brothers are? Do you want to know? Do you? When I was six, they came in my room one night and raped me, then stabbed me. For the hell of it. They constantly beat me up. They murdered our father and got away with it. They used to drag me along with them when they would beat up kids. They'd threaten to kill me if I ever said anything. All the time, I had to live with that fear. So I know, Taichi. I know what it's like."
I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks as I stared at him in shock, but I wasn't really paying attention to them. "Why... why are you telling me this?" I felt sick, like I was going to pass out any moment now.
"So you'll know," he said bitterly. "So you won't accuse me of defending them. I hate them, Taichi. I hate them more than you ever will. You still have Yamato. I don't have my father. They killed him."
"Did you know.. what they did to Yamato?"
He shook his head. "I knew.. I knew they'd attacked you on the way to school one day, but I never knew what they'd done to Yamato. He never said anything."
"He didn't tell anyone for a long time. We tried to get it out of him, but he was so scared. He couldn't talk about it. It terrified him, gave him nightmares all the time. He's scared to go to school because of them. He didn't tell me until Sunday."
"Is that why you went after Kento?"
I frowned, and absently wiped my eyes. "I didn't go after them.. I was on my way home from Yama's. I just happened upon them beating up a little kid, and I lost it. I kept thinking of finding Yamato in the hospital by accident after it happened, and how he was so torn up over it, so afraid he'd die, so afraid he'd never see me again.. I don't really remember much of what happened. Just flashes of hitting him, and someone pulling me off and looking down and seeing nothing but blood."
Kenji winced. "Kento's going to put it all on you, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"He's going to say you attacked him for no reason, and it's certainly going to look that way... You won't be able to find that kid, and you did attack him out of the blue."
"But.. Yamato will be able to corrobate that Sento stabbed him.."
"Can he prove it?"
"What? What does that have to do with anything?"
"If he can't prove it, they'll have no reason to believe him."
"That's bullshit!" I shouted. "He was in the hospital for a week! They have records, and he's got the scars. They'll have to believe it."
"They'll believe he was attacked and almost killed from stab wounds. But how will they prove it was Sento? And why would you attack Kento if Sento almost killed him?"
"Whose side are you on, anyways, Kenji?" I asked him quietly. "I don't care what you say, you're defending them, and I don't understand why."
"I'm being realistic!" he shouted at me. "Goddammit, Taichi, you don't understand how serious this is!"
"Of course I do."
"You don't! Kento and Sento are ruthless. They have no morals holding them back, no boundary lines stopping them from doing something. They're rapists and murderers, and they enjoy it. They love abusing others. They don't care about wrecking other people's lives, as long as they get their fun. And they'll do whatever it takes to ensure that they always have that fun. And things are not looking good for you. You came upon them, and jumped them without them provoking you. All they have to do is say they were minding their own business when you attacked without warning, and the police won't be able to disprove it. You have only Yamato's word they almost killed him, and since it took him a long time to come out with it, it's easy for the police to think he was preparing a story all that time."
"But he wouldn't!" I wailed. "Dammit Kenji, can't you do something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know! Say you were there or something, that you saw them attack Yamato." I was desperate.
"Oh come on, that wouldn't work and you know it."
"It might."
"There are a million holes. Why didn't I help Yamato? Why didn't they ever see me? Why didn't Yamato see me? Where could I hide in an alley? Why can't I remember what alley it was in? Why did I never say anything about it? Why didn't I help Yamato immediately after they'd left?"
My eyes filled with new tears. "There has to be something. I'm no good to Yamato if I'm in jail."
"He lived. You won't go to jail."
I opened my mouth, but at the same time the door opened and otousan and Dr. Kaos walked in. "Are you ready to go, Taichi, or do you guys need more time?"
I looked at Kenji. He just shrugged.
"I guess we're going."
"Alright." He looked at Dr. Kaos. "Thank you. Come on, Taichi."
He didn't say anything more to me until we got out to the car. "The doctor said that the boy will be alright. He's a bit banged up, and you broke his jaw and chipped some teeth, but other than that and a hell of a black eye, he'll be fine."
I nodded. "That's good," I said quietly. Halfway home I burst into tears. Otousan didn't say anything. He just continued driving home until he pulled into a parking spot. Then he cut off the engine and got out, coming around to my side and opening the door. He helped me out of the car and sat me down on the porch of the building, sitting next to me. He let me cry until finally my sobs lessened and I was calm again.
"He'll be okay," Otousan said quietly. "You're not going to jail or anything, if that's what you're worried about."
I shook my head. "That's only a small part."
"Then what's the rest?"
"Well, it's just.. I can't prove anything about why I attacked him... I wouldn't go to jail, but what about juvenille hall and stuff?"
"That's probably not likely either, Taichi. He lived. You didn't kill him."
I let out a shaky sob. "I could have. I almost did."
"Why'd you attack them? You never said."
"They.. they almost killed Yamato."
"Why?"
"Because they wanted to hurt me, and knew the best way to do that was through Yamato..."
"But why did they want to hurt you? What did you do to them?"
"They jumped Yamato and me on the way to school one day, and I managed to beat them up. I ruined their reputation, so they wanted revenge. I wasn't.. It's not like I'd planned on attacking them or anything. It just kind of happened. They were there, and I was upset because I'd just found out they'd almost killed Yamato.. I lost control."
"I see."
"Are you scared of me?"
"No, why would I be?"
I looked at the ground, picked up a twig and scraped at the concrete. "Okaasan and Hikari are." More tears started gathering. "I wouldn't hurt them."
"They know that, Taichi. Just give them a little bit of time. They'll come around, okay? Don't worry. Everything's going to come out alright." He stood and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go in."
I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. "Okay."
+-+-+-+
When I woke around one later that day, the apartment was completely silent. I got out of bed and stumbled into a kitchen, wondering where my family had gone and why they didn't make me go to school. It was Tuesday, after all. There was a note on the table. I opened it and read through it quickly.
Taichi, the police called while you were asleep. Don't worry, they don't want you for questioning. Because Kento is, for the most part, unharmed, his mother is not pressing charges against you. Also, they said it would more of a hassle trying to prove who's at blame here, so it's not worth it. However, Kento did insist on a restraining order, and was granted it. You're not allowed within 10 feet of him or his house. So as long as you stay away from him, everything is okay. Your mother and Hikari went shopping. I'm about to head down to the hospital, the boy's mother wants to talk to me. See you later.
-Otousan
I sighed with relief. A restraining order was nothing. I've not a reason to go near Kento again, not as long as he doesn't touch my Yama.
Yama! I should call him and tell him. I know he was really worried about me last night. A small smile on my face, I went over to the phone and picked it up, dialing Yamato's number.
His father answered. "Ishida residence, Ishida Masaharu."
"Hello Mr. Ishida, is Yamato there?"
"Hold on, I'll go see."
I waited for a bit, then I heard someone pick up the phone. "Taichi, I'm sorry, he's not feeling too well right now."
"Oh." My face fell. I'd really wanted to talk to him. "Well, thanks then. Will you have him call me when he's better?"
"Sure thing."
"Thanks. Tell him I hope he's okay soon. Bye, Mr. Ishida."
"Goodbye Taichi." He hung up.
I replaced my own phone receiver, letting out a sigh. I'd really been counting on telling him the good news. I hoped he wasn't too sick. He seemed okay enough yesterday. Well, until he'd left abruptly. Of course, it had to be a shock finding out one of your bandmates was brother to the two people who'd tried their damnedest to kill you. I wish he'd mentioned that to me yesterday when he left. But no, he's always keeping things inside him, not telling anyone what's wrong or going on inside his head. If he'd just ask for help for once, instead of worrying about bothering others, maybe he wouldn't be half as screwed up as he is right now.
Yeah, okay, so I guess I'm feeling a little bitter. I'm just tired of him not trusting me.
Shaking my head at myself, I fixed a bowl of cereal and proceeded to watch cartoons until my mind went numb, glad of the break from school.
The phone rang a few hours later, startling me and causing me to jump and drop my empty bowl on the floor. Quickly I snatched it up. "Hello?"
"Hi Taichi."
"Yamato!" I exclaimed, relieved at hearing his voice. He sounded perfectly fine, if a little tired. Which was understandable, after the day we'd had yesterday.
"'tousan said you called earlier...?"
"Um, yeah. I need to talk you. Can I come over for a bit?"
"Right now?"
"Is it not a good time?" I asked, frowning.
"No, it's fine. Just give me about thirty minutes, okay?"
"Sure thing. See you then."
"See you." He hung up, and I did the same. Then I ran around the house like an idiot, trying to find clothes to wear, looking for a clean towel for a shower.. I don't know why I was feeling so nervous. But for some reason, I just was.
And thirty minutes later, knocking on the door to Yamato's apartment, I still felt that way.
His dad let me in without much of a greeting. Just, "he's back there, holed up in his room." I got the feeling he wasn't entirely pleased with Yama at the moment.
Yamato's door was open as I approached, and he was sitting on his bed, surrounding by piles of papers. They looked to be lyrics for his band. I knocked on the door jamb, and he looked up.
"Hey," I greeted him quietly. He didn't smile, just motioned for me to come in and shut the door, shoving papers aside so I'd have a place to sit.
"I heard about Kenji," I started out.
"That he's related to them?"
"Yeah. I saw him at the hospital later that night. He told me. I'm sorry, Yamato."
He shrugged, as if it didn't matter, as if it wasn't bothering him in the slightest, though I could tell he was extremely upset by it. "Nothing we can do to change it."
"Well, no, but it's bothering you."
"I'll get over it." Then, before I could say anything else, he changed the subject. "What'd you want to talk to me about?"
I almost let out a sigh, but knew that if I did, I'd only hurt his feelings. So I just spoke instead. "I got the news on Kento early this morning."
"And?" he asked anxiously. "Is he okay?"
I smiled. "He's fine, and his mother declined to press any charges against me. He did get a restraining order against me, but it's not as if I have a reason to go near him now, so no worries there."
"Thank god," he said in relief, sighing and leaning back against the wall. "I was scared."
"So was I," I admitted. "I was terrified."
"Me too," and there was a catch in his voice. He was crying.
"What it is?" I asked, alarmed. "Don't cry, everything's okay. It all worked out, see?"
"I'm sorry," he choked out. "I was just.. I was so scared that I'd lose you, and I don't think I could stand that."
I pulled him close to me in a tight hug. "You'll never lose me, Yamato, okay?"
"You promise?" he asked, then immediately shook his head. "No, that's not fair of me to ask."
"I don't care. I promise it anyways," I replied, then kissed him.
He just gave a little sound of contentment and buried his head in my shoulder. "Please don't ever do that to me again, Taichi," he mumbled.
I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose."
"I know..."
It was only twenty minutes later that I realized he was asleep.
End Part 11.
Author's Notes: I don't know if I'll have this finished by August.. there are still an estimated five chapters left, and then there were some exerts I wanted to upload for you guys. And I apologize for the long delay with this chapter. School was swamping me down, and I had other stories I was writing.. anyways, I know this chapter was sort of short, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Hopefully I'll have part 12 out soon. Oh, and tomorrow I leave for A-kon!!! *bounces around excitedly*
part twelve
Digimon - NC-17 - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99633 - Updated: 11-21-05 - Published: 11-01-01
Disclaimer: This just in. Digimon does not fall under the ownership of butterflie, as previously thought. It appears that it actually belongs to a company called Toei Animation. More to come on this later.
Song is Original Prankster, and it belongs to The Offspring.
Author’s Notes: ugh... *moans* I love this story to pieces, but it’s becoming so difficult to write, mainly because I’m finally nearing the end and things are falling together, but they’re so hard to piece and still have everything work out right. But hopefully I will have this finished before college the coming September. That’s my goal. Enjoy this part. Also, somehow I got the band all mixed up.. Not sure how. So I’ll clarify. Ny does keyboard and some backup vocals. Kenji is drums. Ratsuii is the lead guitarist and also the main backup vocals. Sorry for the confusion. It’s been awhile since I’d worked on this...
--->Translation:
|none is needed!|
Waiting
Chapter 11-Boundary Lines
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
*sequel to Untold Secrets*
|Life life Cannot go by the letter
|Time time Prozac can make it better
|Noise noise Any kind will do
|Can you feel it slip away when it's all on you?|
“Why do you think he left so abruptly?” I asked Hikari.
She just shrugged.
Irritated, I turned away from her. I stared at the wall for awhile. Shifted in my chair. Sighed loudly a couple of times, shifted some more. This was driving me crazy. I stood suddenly. “I’m going for a walk,” I announced.
Hikari only shrugged some more. I rolled my eyes at her and left. I went straight to the elevators and pressed the button for the lobby. I needed some fresh air.
I never got outside. Just as I reached the lobby, okaasan and otousan cornered me. “What’s up?” I asked them. I was anxious. Had they heard something about Kento? God, I hope he didn’t die.
“Taichi, we’ve talked to the police. Kento’s condition hasn’t changed any, but they’ve agreed to let you come home as long as you don’t go anywhere,” otousan explained.
“Not even to Yamato’s?”
He shook his head, and okaasan spoke to me for the first time since she’d heard what I’d done. “You’re under house arrest, Taichi.” She didn’t look at me as she spoke the next words. “Of course, you don’t have to go home. You’re free to stay here if you’d like.”
And it hit me. She wasn’t mad at me. She was scared of me. Because I suddenly wasn’t her son anymore. Instead, I was a violent person who’d almost killed someone. Never mind that the same someone had hurt countless people, and probably raped and killed as well. Never mind that the same oerson had almost killed the one guy I cared about more than anyone else next to my family. To her, I was now a stranger. She had thought she knew me, and now she doesn’t anymore.
It hurt. I didn’t want my mother scared of me. But I didn’t know any way to make her not scared of me. And I’d be damned if I was going to stay here all night just because she didn’t want me at home. “Actually, I think I’ll go home with you guys,” I told her, willing her to look at me. Look at me, please! I’m still your son.
She didn’t look. “Alright. Go get your sister then. We’ll wait here.”
“‘k.” I boarded the elevators again and went up to our waiting room. “Hikari, come on. We’re leaving.”
The relief was very evident in her eyes. “You can go home too?”
“Yeah. Okaasan says I’m under ‘house arrest’ though. Can’t go anywhere.”
“Oh.” She grabbed her jacket from the chair and stood. “Is it still raining outside?”
I shrug. I’d forgotten it had been raining. “I don’t know.”
We walked in silence back to the elevators. On the ride down, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Hikari, are you mad at me?”
“No.”
“Are you... scared of me?”
“Should I be?”
“Okaasan is. So are you?”
“Maybe a little,” she conceded.
“I’d never hurt you Hikari,” I told her. “I hadn’t meant to hurt Kento either. But he almost killed Matt. It scared me, and made me angry. I lost control.”
“That’s the part that’s scary. What if I make you mad and you lose control?”
“You’re my sister, and I love you, no matter how mad you could possibly make me. I already hated Kento, and it’s not like he’s related to me.”
“Yeah.. I know. It’s just that it wasn’t like you, Taichi.”
“Sorry.”
But really, it was like me. I did it, didn’t I? It’s not like you ever really know yourself. You may think you do, but then you do something you never thought you’d be capable of, and it turns out you had it in you all along, and that was like you. I’d have liked to explain all that to Hikari, but I wasn’t sure I couldn’t put it into words right, and I didn’t want to scare her even more. So I stayed quiet and hoped she and okaasan would come around soon.
+-+-+-+
Somewhere the phone was ringing interminably. It was so loud, and the hour so quiet. I groaned at it, wishing someone would answer it already. How was a person expected to get any sleep around here?
Just as I was about to give up and go answer it, it ceased its damn ringing. Either someone answered it, or the person gave up. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep, but soon otousan’s face was hovering over mine.
“Taichi,” he whisphered.
“What?” I said loudly.
“Shh,” he admonished. “Get dressed and try not to wake your sister.”
I rubbed my eyes, still sleepy and confused about what was going on. “What time is it?” I asked, quietly this time.
“About 4:30. Come on, hurry up.” He was gone.
Unsteadily, I got to my feet and pulled on the clothes I’d worn last night. 4:30, I thought to myself. What could be so important that Otousan has to get me up so early? Then another thought hit me. Oh no! Had Kento died?
I went out to the living room where otousan was waiting, terrified that this was exactly what had happened. “Where are we going?” I asked him, though I pretty much already knew the answer. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere except back to the hospital, thanks to the house arrest I’d been placed under.
“The hospital,” he replied shortly. “Now stop asking questions and let’s go.”
The silent ride to the hospital seemed much longer than it really was, and I was thankful. It gave me a chance to wake up a bit more, think some. Though I was terrified. Please, don’t let Kento have died. I couldn’t handle it if he died. My world would go to pieces.
We got to the hospital and parked, running quickly through the light rain that was still falling. A young harried looking man in dirtied white coat accosted us in the lobby. “Yamagai-san?” he asked.
“Hai,” my father said, bowing. I bowed as well, then looked around. A bunch of police were still milling around the place, though not quite as many as there had been this evening.
“Is he dead?” I blurted out. The doctor looked at me strangely.
“I don’t have any details,” he responded. I’m just here to take you up to the waiting room. Come this way,” and he led us over to an elevator marked, “Staff Use Only. Key authorization required.” He pulled out what looked like one of these key cards and inserted it into a panel next to the elevator. After punching in a few buttons, the panel beeped at him and the elevator doors slid open. We got on, and I wondered why we were going this way instead of the normal way. This elevator was way out of the way of the others.
When we got to the floor Kento was on, I got my answer. Some reporters were milling about, hovering around the elevator doors and waiting rooms. Come to think of it, some of the people downstairs in the lobby were probably reporters too. Shit. What had happened? What was going on?
The young doctor stepped out, and motionedfor us to quickly follow. We did so, managing not to attract the attention of anyone, and he led us to a room far away from the reporters. He let us inside, and told us to sit tight, someone would be along shortly.
My father nodded again, and stiffly took a seat in one of the hard plastic chairs. I just stood, walking aimlessly around the room, worrying, hoping things would be okay.
About ten minutes later, the door opened again. I turned towards it, and blinked in surprise at the man that stepped through it. “Dr. Kaos!” I exclaimed.
“Hello Taichi,” he greeted me. “It’s been awhile."
"What are you doing here?" I asked him.
"I was the doctor on call when Jin-san was brought in."
"Oh..." Jin-san was Kento, I knew. So this was definitely about Kento.
"Is..." suddenly the words were a lump in my throat, stuck fast, and I couldn't get them out.
"Quite the opposite. He's awake."
I almost cried with relief. "He is? Then why am I here? I seriously doubt he wants to see me."
"No. No, he doesn't want to see you. But someone else did."
"Huh? I... I don't understand."
"I'll bring him in, and your father and I will go to my office. I need to talk to him. Okay?"
"I..I guess so. Who wants to see me?"
He stood and went to the door of the waiting room, opening it.
I swear, I almost passed out when I saw who walked in.
"Kenji?"
"Hi," he greeted me quietly. No smile.
I was barely aware of otousan and Dr. Kaos leaving the room, all I could focus on was Kenji. I was really confused. "I don't get it. Why are you here? Why did you want to see me?"
"I wanted to talk to you." He came and sat down across from me, but he didn't look at me.
"Uh.... about what?"
"Did you know," he began, somewhat stiffly. "Did you know.. that Kento and Sento are my older brothers?"
"...What?" Suddenly I felt very faint. "I'm sorry.. I'm... I'm not getting this..."
"Kento and Sento are my brothers," he repeated. "Older brothers."
"How... how come you never told us? Did Yamato know?"
He shook his head. "No. He didn't know until he ran into me here tonight."
Well, that explained why he'd left in a hurry... "Why didn't you say?" I demanded, starting to get angry. After all that Kento and Sento had done to Yamato... "Why didn't you ever stop them? Why didn't you say something? They almost killed him, Kenji! How could you know that and not ever say anything, do anything? He trusted you! I thought you were our friend.."
Now he was the one looking confused. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one that almost killed Kento."
"He almost killed Yamato!" I shouted. "They put him in the hospital for a week!"
He looked at me, frowning. "What are you talking about?"
I closed my eyes, turned my head away from him. "That week when his father left on a business trip, and I stayed with him. He came home early, walked in on us making out.. he ran me out of the house, and Yamato just ran. They attacked him in an alley, stabbed him several times and left him there to die.. He almost did. Two girls found him the next day and got him to the hospital just in time. Your scum brothers almost killed him, and you're offended because I almost killed Kento." I opened my eyes and glanced at him. "The only reason I'm glad Kento is alive now is because I didn't want to go to jail. How can you defend him? I don't care if he's your brother, he doesn't deserve it."
"I'm not defending him!"
"You are! Getting mad at me because of what I did, when they're a million times worse! You shouldn't care about them at all."
"You know nothing," he hissed at me, suddenly seething with anger. I was taken by surprise. "I hate them. You couldn't even begin to understand. I know what they are. Do you think I wouldn't, Taichi, living with them for seventeen years? Don't you think I know better than anyone just how awful my brothers are? Do you want to know? Do you? When I was six, they came in my room one night and raped me, then stabbed me. For the hell of it. They constantly beat me up. They murdered our father and got away with it. They used to drag me along with them when they would beat up kids. They'd threaten to kill me if I ever said anything. All the time, I had to live with that fear. So I know, Taichi. I know what it's like."
I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks as I stared at him in shock, but I wasn't really paying attention to them. "Why... why are you telling me this?" I felt sick, like I was going to pass out any moment now.
"So you'll know," he said bitterly. "So you won't accuse me of defending them. I hate them, Taichi. I hate them more than you ever will. You still have Yamato. I don't have my father. They killed him."
"Did you know.. what they did to Yamato?"
He shook his head. "I knew.. I knew they'd attacked you on the way to school one day, but I never knew what they'd done to Yamato. He never said anything."
"He didn't tell anyone for a long time. We tried to get it out of him, but he was so scared. He couldn't talk about it. It terrified him, gave him nightmares all the time. He's scared to go to school because of them. He didn't tell me until Sunday."
"Is that why you went after Kento?"
I frowned, and absently wiped my eyes. "I didn't go after them.. I was on my way home from Yama's. I just happened upon them beating up a little kid, and I lost it. I kept thinking of finding Yamato in the hospital by accident after it happened, and how he was so torn up over it, so afraid he'd die, so afraid he'd never see me again.. I don't really remember much of what happened. Just flashes of hitting him, and someone pulling me off and looking down and seeing nothing but blood."
Kenji winced. "Kento's going to put it all on you, you know."
"What do you mean?"
"He's going to say you attacked him for no reason, and it's certainly going to look that way... You won't be able to find that kid, and you did attack him out of the blue."
"But.. Yamato will be able to corrobate that Sento stabbed him.."
"Can he prove it?"
"What? What does that have to do with anything?"
"If he can't prove it, they'll have no reason to believe him."
"That's bullshit!" I shouted. "He was in the hospital for a week! They have records, and he's got the scars. They'll have to believe it."
"They'll believe he was attacked and almost killed from stab wounds. But how will they prove it was Sento? And why would you attack Kento if Sento almost killed him?"
"Whose side are you on, anyways, Kenji?" I asked him quietly. "I don't care what you say, you're defending them, and I don't understand why."
"I'm being realistic!" he shouted at me. "Goddammit, Taichi, you don't understand how serious this is!"
"Of course I do."
"You don't! Kento and Sento are ruthless. They have no morals holding them back, no boundary lines stopping them from doing something. They're rapists and murderers, and they enjoy it. They love abusing others. They don't care about wrecking other people's lives, as long as they get their fun. And they'll do whatever it takes to ensure that they always have that fun. And things are not looking good for you. You came upon them, and jumped them without them provoking you. All they have to do is say they were minding their own business when you attacked without warning, and the police won't be able to disprove it. You have only Yamato's word they almost killed him, and since it took him a long time to come out with it, it's easy for the police to think he was preparing a story all that time."
"But he wouldn't!" I wailed. "Dammit Kenji, can't you do something?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know! Say you were there or something, that you saw them attack Yamato." I was desperate.
"Oh come on, that wouldn't work and you know it."
"It might."
"There are a million holes. Why didn't I help Yamato? Why didn't they ever see me? Why didn't Yamato see me? Where could I hide in an alley? Why can't I remember what alley it was in? Why did I never say anything about it? Why didn't I help Yamato immediately after they'd left?"
My eyes filled with new tears. "There has to be something. I'm no good to Yamato if I'm in jail."
"He lived. You won't go to jail."
I opened my mouth, but at the same time the door opened and otousan and Dr. Kaos walked in. "Are you ready to go, Taichi, or do you guys need more time?"
I looked at Kenji. He just shrugged.
"I guess we're going."
"Alright." He looked at Dr. Kaos. "Thank you. Come on, Taichi."
He didn't say anything more to me until we got out to the car. "The doctor said that the boy will be alright. He's a bit banged up, and you broke his jaw and chipped some teeth, but other than that and a hell of a black eye, he'll be fine."
I nodded. "That's good," I said quietly. Halfway home I burst into tears. Otousan didn't say anything. He just continued driving home until he pulled into a parking spot. Then he cut off the engine and got out, coming around to my side and opening the door. He helped me out of the car and sat me down on the porch of the building, sitting next to me. He let me cry until finally my sobs lessened and I was calm again.
"He'll be okay," Otousan said quietly. "You're not going to jail or anything, if that's what you're worried about."
I shook my head. "That's only a small part."
"Then what's the rest?"
"Well, it's just.. I can't prove anything about why I attacked him... I wouldn't go to jail, but what about juvenille hall and stuff?"
"That's probably not likely either, Taichi. He lived. You didn't kill him."
I let out a shaky sob. "I could have. I almost did."
"Why'd you attack them? You never said."
"They.. they almost killed Yamato."
"Why?"
"Because they wanted to hurt me, and knew the best way to do that was through Yamato..."
"But why did they want to hurt you? What did you do to them?"
"They jumped Yamato and me on the way to school one day, and I managed to beat them up. I ruined their reputation, so they wanted revenge. I wasn't.. It's not like I'd planned on attacking them or anything. It just kind of happened. They were there, and I was upset because I'd just found out they'd almost killed Yamato.. I lost control."
"I see."
"Are you scared of me?"
"No, why would I be?"
I looked at the ground, picked up a twig and scraped at the concrete. "Okaasan and Hikari are." More tears started gathering. "I wouldn't hurt them."
"They know that, Taichi. Just give them a little bit of time. They'll come around, okay? Don't worry. Everything's going to come out alright." He stood and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's go in."
I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. "Okay."
+-+-+-+
When I woke around one later that day, the apartment was completely silent. I got out of bed and stumbled into a kitchen, wondering where my family had gone and why they didn't make me go to school. It was Tuesday, after all. There was a note on the table. I opened it and read through it quickly.
Taichi, the police called while you were asleep. Don't worry, they don't want you for questioning. Because Kento is, for the most part, unharmed, his mother is not pressing charges against you. Also, they said it would more of a hassle trying to prove who's at blame here, so it's not worth it. However, Kento did insist on a restraining order, and was granted it. You're not allowed within 10 feet of him or his house. So as long as you stay away from him, everything is okay. Your mother and Hikari went shopping. I'm about to head down to the hospital, the boy's mother wants to talk to me. See you later.
-Otousan
I sighed with relief. A restraining order was nothing. I've not a reason to go near Kento again, not as long as he doesn't touch my Yama.
Yama! I should call him and tell him. I know he was really worried about me last night. A small smile on my face, I went over to the phone and picked it up, dialing Yamato's number.
His father answered. "Ishida residence, Ishida Masaharu."
"Hello Mr. Ishida, is Yamato there?"
"Hold on, I'll go see."
I waited for a bit, then I heard someone pick up the phone. "Taichi, I'm sorry, he's not feeling too well right now."
"Oh." My face fell. I'd really wanted to talk to him. "Well, thanks then. Will you have him call me when he's better?"
"Sure thing."
"Thanks. Tell him I hope he's okay soon. Bye, Mr. Ishida."
"Goodbye Taichi." He hung up.
I replaced my own phone receiver, letting out a sigh. I'd really been counting on telling him the good news. I hoped he wasn't too sick. He seemed okay enough yesterday. Well, until he'd left abruptly. Of course, it had to be a shock finding out one of your bandmates was brother to the two people who'd tried their damnedest to kill you. I wish he'd mentioned that to me yesterday when he left. But no, he's always keeping things inside him, not telling anyone what's wrong or going on inside his head. If he'd just ask for help for once, instead of worrying about bothering others, maybe he wouldn't be half as screwed up as he is right now.
Yeah, okay, so I guess I'm feeling a little bitter. I'm just tired of him not trusting me.
Shaking my head at myself, I fixed a bowl of cereal and proceeded to watch cartoons until my mind went numb, glad of the break from school.
The phone rang a few hours later, startling me and causing me to jump and drop my empty bowl on the floor. Quickly I snatched it up. "Hello?"
"Hi Taichi."
"Yamato!" I exclaimed, relieved at hearing his voice. He sounded perfectly fine, if a little tired. Which was understandable, after the day we'd had yesterday.
"'tousan said you called earlier...?"
"Um, yeah. I need to talk you. Can I come over for a bit?"
"Right now?"
"Is it not a good time?" I asked, frowning.
"No, it's fine. Just give me about thirty minutes, okay?"
"Sure thing. See you then."
"See you." He hung up, and I did the same. Then I ran around the house like an idiot, trying to find clothes to wear, looking for a clean towel for a shower.. I don't know why I was feeling so nervous. But for some reason, I just was.
And thirty minutes later, knocking on the door to Yamato's apartment, I still felt that way.
His dad let me in without much of a greeting. Just, "he's back there, holed up in his room." I got the feeling he wasn't entirely pleased with Yama at the moment.
Yamato's door was open as I approached, and he was sitting on his bed, surrounding by piles of papers. They looked to be lyrics for his band. I knocked on the door jamb, and he looked up.
"Hey," I greeted him quietly. He didn't smile, just motioned for me to come in and shut the door, shoving papers aside so I'd have a place to sit.
"I heard about Kenji," I started out.
"That he's related to them?"
"Yeah. I saw him at the hospital later that night. He told me. I'm sorry, Yamato."
He shrugged, as if it didn't matter, as if it wasn't bothering him in the slightest, though I could tell he was extremely upset by it. "Nothing we can do to change it."
"Well, no, but it's bothering you."
"I'll get over it." Then, before I could say anything else, he changed the subject. "What'd you want to talk to me about?"
I almost let out a sigh, but knew that if I did, I'd only hurt his feelings. So I just spoke instead. "I got the news on Kento early this morning."
"And?" he asked anxiously. "Is he okay?"
I smiled. "He's fine, and his mother declined to press any charges against me. He did get a restraining order against me, but it's not as if I have a reason to go near him now, so no worries there."
"Thank god," he said in relief, sighing and leaning back against the wall. "I was scared."
"So was I," I admitted. "I was terrified."
"Me too," and there was a catch in his voice. He was crying.
"What it is?" I asked, alarmed. "Don't cry, everything's okay. It all worked out, see?"
"I'm sorry," he choked out. "I was just.. I was so scared that I'd lose you, and I don't think I could stand that."
I pulled him close to me in a tight hug. "You'll never lose me, Yamato, okay?"
"You promise?" he asked, then immediately shook his head. "No, that's not fair of me to ask."
"I don't care. I promise it anyways," I replied, then kissed him.
He just gave a little sound of contentment and buried his head in my shoulder. "Please don't ever do that to me again, Taichi," he mumbled.
I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose."
"I know..."
It was only twenty minutes later that I realized he was asleep.
End Part 11.
Author's Notes: I don't know if I'll have this finished by August.. there are still an estimated five chapters left, and then there were some exerts I wanted to upload for you guys. And I apologize for the long delay with this chapter. School was swamping me down, and I had other stories I was writing.. anyways, I know this chapter was sort of short, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Hopefully I'll have part 12 out soon. Oh, and tomorrow I leave for A-kon!!! *bounces around excitedly*
part twelve