Bleed, Chapter 2
Something is very wrong with Yamato, and Taichi's determined to get to the bottom of it. But is the cost of friendship worth it? Taito.
Digimon - R - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 37396 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 4-16-04 - Published: 1-11-04
chapter one
Disclaimer: I promise, it’s not mine. Honestly.
Author’s Notes: Well, well, Chapter 2 already, huh? You know, I had really great ideas for this story last night as I was falling asleep, and now I’ve forgotten them. Oh well, they’ll probably come to me during Astronomy or Study Hall. Or maybe US History. I think I’ll be sad when I graduate.. I won’t have lots of free time during class to think up Taito plots! Gah. Four and a half months.
Bleed
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
Chapter 2:Blank
“Tadaima!” I slammed the door shut behind me and slipped off my shoes, then went in search of my family. Mom was in the kitchen cooking something I didn’t recognize but looked.. well, alive. And old. Ick. Wouldn’t be eating supper again tonight, it seems. “Tadaima, okaasan!”
She put the knife down on the cutting board and turned towards me. “Taichi, okaeri!” She smiled. “Did you have fun at Yamato’s?”
“Yeah. We watched some movies last night, and then went out to the park with some of our other friends earlier.”
“That’s good. Glad you enjoyed yourself, you seemed a bit upset yesterday.”
I smiled back at her. “It was nothing, just a bad day. Where’s Hikari?”
“She’s in her room, I believe.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
About two and a half years ago, right after the second Digital World stuff, my parents decided that Hikari and I were getting too old to share a room, and that we needed our own space. So we moved into an apartment a few blocks away from our old one. They were a lot alike, except that this one was bigger, and had an extra bedroom. So we finally had our own rooms, and I was glad. It had been getting too much of a hassle to share a room with her.
I knocked on her door. “Hikari?” I waited for her to acknowledge me before entering. Once, not long after we’d moved, I walked in pn her changing. Since she’d grown up more from when she was a baby, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Never again. So now I always knock first.
“Come in!” she called, and I did so. “Did you talk to Yamato?” she demanded first thing.
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“Did he tell you what was wrong?”
“No. Kept denying that anything was, that he was perfectly fine. He yelled at me, and tried to blame his lack of attention in school on lack of sleep.”
“Well, maybe that’s all it really is.”
“No,” I said insistently. “It’s not. You’d have to be there to really understand, Hikari. You’d have to see him to know that anything was wrong, and you’d have to know him really well. And last night, he was different.”
“Different how?” she asked, flopping backwards on her little bed. She had a really small bed. Even she could barely fit on it. I couldn’t, I was too big for it. So whenever she had someone over, she always used my bed, since I still had our old bunk bed.
“Like, I don’t know. Mostly little things. He didn’t leave the door unlocked for me like he usually does. Wore pants and long sleeves to bed. Took a shower at 1:15 in the morning. Had a nightmare that he woke up screaming from, then insisted he couldn’t remember. Kept zoning out while we were watching movies. The pieces of the puzzle are there, Hikari, I just don’t know how to put them together. And he won’t tell me a thing.”
“Did you ask him about the weird stuff?”
I went over and sat down at her desk chair, fiddling with the small knick-knacks gathered on her desk. “Yeah. He made up excuses. It wasn’t safe to keep the door unlocked, he’d meant to shower earlier, it got cold out at night, even though summer’s almost here. I don’t understand it. Wish he’d tell me.”
“Maybe he will. Just give him some time. Takeru’s coming over soon so we can study for an algebra test on Monday. You sure you don’t want me to talk to him?”
Just then the doorbell rang, and I heard my mom rush to answer it.
“That’s probably him there. Well?”
I paused, hesitant. I really didn’t want to worry Takeru about it, but something was wrong, and it’d be helpful to know if he’d noticed too. “I.. no, don’t ask him. Not now. I don’t want Takeru to worry.”
“Worry about what?”
Oops. I turned towards the door to see Takeru standing there, staring at me with a questioning look. “You don’t want me worrying about what, Taichi?” he repeated.
“Ano... it’s nothing. Nothing, Takeru.” I looked back at my imouto. “I’ll see you later, Hikari. You guys have fun.” I stood and tried to leave the room, but Takeru wouldn’t let me. Every time I tepped one way, he stepped the same way. I couldn’t get around him.
“What’s your problem?” I asked him,glaring.
He glared back at me. “What’s your problem? What are you keeping from me?”
“I said it was nothing, Takeru! Just forget about it!”
“No! You were talking about me! I have a right to know!”
“Not if I don’t want you to know!” I raised my fist, ready to swing a punch at him, but as he cringed back, I paused. If I hit his little brother, Yamato would kill me. I lowered my fist, just as Hikari jumped off of her bed, ready to intervene.
“Guys! Stop fighting! Takeru, let him go. It’s not worth it, and it’s nothing real important. If you really need to know, we’ll tell you, okay?”
“Well I really need to know,” he muttered, stepping aside to let me by.
“No, not right now you don’t. Okay? Now come on, we can’t fail the test.”
She led the upset blond into her room, and I disappeared into my own room to lose myself in mindless video games.
I got to homeroom two minutes before the bell Monday. Looking for Yamato, I didn’t see him anywhere. Sadly, this was starting to become normal. He often missed homeroom, or walked in when it was halfway over. Today apparently would be no exception.
The bell rang, and I scrambled to my seat, wondering if Yamato would at least show up for homeroom today. I nodded hello to a couple of guys from my soccer team, then quieted down as Sensei entered. He took care of the usual morning business and called roll, sighing slightly when there was no answer to Ishida Yamato. And when homeroom had ended, there was still no sign of him. I looked for him in the hallways on the way to my second class, but there was no sign of him. So I just gave up and went to class before I was late. And unfortunately this was the one class I didn’t have with Yamato, so I had no way of knowing when he got to school.
I suffered through that class, then impatiently headed to third, fully expecting to see Yamato when I walked in.
He wasn’t there.
What the hell? Is he still at home? Surely he would have called if he were sick or something, he always does..
It turns out he didn’t show up until halfway through fourth. He stood there at the front of the room as Sensei bawled him out, nodding occasionally as if he was listening, though to look at him you could tell his mind was a million miles away. Something else had happened to him, I was sure of it.
Finally he was allowed to take his seat, and he came over and sat next to me. I waited for Sensei to turn his back to the class, then hissed, “Yamato!”
He didn’t seem to hear me. Instead, he was staring off into space, his eyes blank, face slack. Not blinking, not moving, not aware of a thing around him.
“Yamato!” I hissed again. I reached over and poked him.
He jumped slightly and looked over at me. “Huh?”
“Where were you this morning?” I whispered. “Why were you so late to school?”
“I forgot to set my alarm. I overslept.”
“Overslept?!” Oops.
“Yamagi-kun, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
“Ano.. gomen Sensei.”
“Please try to pay attention in class from now on, Yagami-kun,” he warned me, although he knew it wouldn’t do much good.
“Hai, Sensei.” I did my best to try to pay attention the rest of the class, but it was hard. I ached to talk to Yamato and see if I could find out what was wrong with him. But now I’d have to wait until lunch, and it wasn’t likely he’d talk to me anyways.
Finally the bell rang, and class was over. I jumped up and started tossing things into my bookbag, then faced Yamato, thinking he’d be ready to go.
He was just sitting there, still staring off into space, not yet realizing class was over.
“Ano.. Yamato?”
Like earlier, there was no response. He hadn’t heard me at all.
“Yamato!” I punched him lightly on the arm.
“Oww..” he mumbled. “What’d you do that for?”
“Come on, class is over. Didn’t you hear the bell?”
“The bell?” He gazed around the room with some surprise, startled to find it empty of everyone but us and Sensei. “Oh, uh, guess I didn’t. Sorry.”
Hastily he stumbled up from his seat and started towards the door.
“Yamato?”
“What?” He turned back towards me.
I pointed to his bookbag, which was laying forgotten on the floor beside his desk.
“Oh, heh, whoops,” he said sheepishly, coming back for it. He grabbed it and we headed towards lunch.
“Dammit, why does he always have to get so pissed off and stubborn about it? All I want to do is help him! Is that such a crime? Why does he make such a big deal out of everything? Why can’t he just tell me! We’re best friends! I thought by now he’d have learned to trust me! I hate seeming him in so much pain! I don’t know what to do, Kou..”
The red-headed genuis watched with concern as I paced around his living room. “If he doesn’t want to tell you, then there’s really not much you can do for him, Taichi. Just let him know you’re there if he wants to talk. Don’t try to force him to talk like you did at lunch today. You’re just making him more closed off. He’ll probably be more willing to talk on his own terms, when he’s ready, and he doesn’t feel obligated to tell you just because you’re best friends.”
I sigh defeatedly and sank down on his couch next to him. “You’re right, you know. I didn’t really handle it well. But it’s just so hard! I care so much about him, and having to see him hurt and not know what’s wrong..” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I just wish I knew how to help him. I feel so helpless.”
Koushiro was the only person who knew that I liked Yamato. I hadn’t told anyone else. Sometimes it’s so nice to just be so open..
“Yeah, I know, Tai,” he said softly. “I’m sure things will work out eventually.”
“That’s what Hikari said..” Closing my eyes, I said, “I should probably go home and call him to apologize.”
“I think that would be a sound idea.”
I groaned at him and opened my eyes. He nudged my head off his shoulder and stood, offering me a hand. “Come on.”
I took it and let him pull me to my feet. “Sorry about coming over and ranting at you.”
“It’s okay. What are friends for, after all?”
I gave him a soft smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Hello?”
“Ano.. Yamato? It’s Taichi.”
“What do you want?”
“Can I come over for a little bit? I need to talk to you. Or is there somewhere we can go?”
“We can go to the park.”
“Okay. Then will you meet me there in about twenty minutes, please?”
“I guess.”
“Thanks!” I was relieved. “See you then.” I hung up. He didn’t seem too happy with me.. Well, I had embarrassed him in front of the whole cafeteria at lunch today. I suppose I deserved to have him a little mad at me, though I didn’t like the feeling.
I grabbed my jacket off the back of my desk chair, because earlier when I’d gone out on an errand for mom, it’d been raining lightly. I didn’t know if it was still was or not, but chances were it would be a little chilly.
“I’m going out for a bit!” I yelled as I headed towards the front door. “I’ll be back soon!”
“Taichi, what about dinner?” Mom yelled after me. But it was too late. The door slammed, and I was gone.
+-+-+-+
Apparently I’d gotten to the park before Taichi, so I chose our favourite tree and took a spot up under it, waiting for him to arrive. I didn’t wait long; presently I saw his silhoutte approaching the tree. I called out to him. “Taichi.”
He continued to head towards me. “Hey,” he said when he reached me. I wondered what he was thinking. Probably worrying about me being mad at him. Which I wasn’t. Not really. Not anymore. Oh sure, I’d been mad earlier, but I was pretty much over that now. After all, he’s made a fool of himself in the cafeteria millions of times. So what if I was made a fool of once? It’s not like I should have cared what others thought of me anyways. It’s just that it mattered at the time, and I was so sick of him and my dad trying to figure out what happened, and then, after the little bombshell dad dropped on me today.. I clenched my hands into a fist, trying to forget about that,half hoping Taichi wouldn’t notice. Half hoping he would. Hoping he’d leave it alone. Hoping he wouldn’t.
“Yama?”
“What?” I winced, that came out harsher than I’d meant for it to.
“I just.. well, I just wanted to apologize. About before. Today. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. Do you forgive me?”
I let out a soft exhalation of breath. “Yeah, I forgive you Taichi.”
“Good.”
There was silence for a bit, but it was such a comfortable silence that I didn’t mind it. There were often such silences with Taichi; being friends with him for such a long time, we were able to be content just in each other’s presence.
“You know..” he began. I waited. “You know,” he said again. “..that I’ll be here for you, right? That I’ll.. continue to be.. your friend,” he was fumbling with his words, unsure of himself, as if he didn’t quite know how to get out what he wanted to say. “I know something’s wrong. I’m not blind, and I don’t appreciate.. you lying to me.. but I know I was.. well, I was wrong to push you, to try.. to try to force you to tell me.. when you didn’t..”
“Taichi-“
“No, let me finish. I shouldn’t.. I shouldn’t have forced you when you.. you weren’t ready to talk. I’m sorry about that.. I just, I want you to know, if you ever need me.. if you ever just need an ear to listen.. Well, I do care, and I’ll always be there when you want me. I just want you to know that.”
I didn’t quite know what to say to that. I was rather touched, and felt sort of guilty. I had been lying to him, and shoving him away, but I wasn’t trying to shut him out. It’s just that I couldn’t tell him, couldn’t tell anyone for the sake of Takeru. “Taichi.. I’m sorry. Sorry for being an ass these past weeks. And.. well, that means a lot to me. Thanks.”
He breathed out in relief. “You’re welcome.” He offered me a lopsided grin, and I returned it. “Come on, let’s go home.”
Dad was waiting up for me in the living room when I got home. “Tadaima,” I said half-heartedly.
“Okaeri,” he said. “I called your uncle today. He said it was okay for you to stay over again while I’m gone on my trip.”
“Of course he would have said that,” I muttered.
He frowned. “What?”
“Nothin’, ‘tousan.” I grimaced. “Look, do I have to go? Why can’t I stay over at Taichi’s?”
Dad let out a tired sigh. “Yamato, we’ve been over this before. I don’t want you staying over at Taichi’s for two weeks. There’s really not enough room for you there for such a long time.”
“Then why can’t I stay here by myself?”
“Because I don’t feel comfortable having you alone for such a time, and no, I don’t want you and Taichi here yourselves either!”
“But I’m old enough to stay on my own! Please ‘tousan!”
“Why don’t you want to spend time with your uncle? You used to love going there when you were little.”
“Well, I’m not little anymore! I resent being babysat like a child. And besides, he’s creepy.”
“I know he can be a little weird, Yamato, but he’s not a bad guy.”
That’s what you think, I thought bitterly.
“And besides, you survived it last time, didn’t you?” Barely. “You can tough it out again. It’s only two weeks.”
“Oh, but I thought two weeks was such a long time. That’s what you said a moment ago.”
“You are staying with your uncle and that’s that, Ishida Yamato!”
“Agh! I hate you!” I shouted, running to my room. I flung myself down on my bed and buried my face into my pillow to stifle the sobs that were suddenly tearing themselves out of my throat.
Two weeks. Two whole weeks spent back in Hell. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t. Why did dad have to be so cruel? How could he do this to me? I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. Why couldn’t I just stay with Taichi? At least then I’d be safe.
At last, despite the worries and fears ruminating around in my brain, lulled by the soothing tears cascading down my cheeks, I fell asleep, my face still buried in my tear-soaked pillow.
+-+-+-+
“Two weeks? Man, that’s rough, Yama. I’m sorry. Your dad wouldn’t let you stay at mine, or Takeru’s?”
“He doesn’t want me to be a burden to you guys. And I’d never stay with Takeru. ‘kaasan would drive me crazy. And you know she doesn’t like me much. Remember? Takeru’s her son. I’m just an obligant offspring.”
“Yamato...” I hated hearing him talk like that. He always sounded so bitter and hurt when talking about his mother. But really, I suppose it was at least partially true. I’d never seen a mother seem to care so little about her son as Ms. Takaishi about Yamato.
“Well maybe it won’t be so bad. Didn’t you stay with your uncle about a month ago? I think I remember meeting him. He seemed like a pretty decent guy to me.”
“I don’t like him,” he stated flatly.
“Well why not?”
He shrugged, and took a small bite out of his yakisoba. “I don’t know. I just don’t. He’s weird.”
I frowned. “Weird how?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
I laughed. “Well you certainly don’t know a lot, do ya? Come on, if it really bothers you that much, you can stay at my place late every day. We can hang and play video games and stuff. Bother Hikari and Takeru.”
He shook his head, and set his chopsticks aside. “Wouldn’t work.”
“You gonna eat anymore of that?” I asked. He shoved the bowl over to me, and I shoveled it in eagerly. My lunch at school was always meager, since I didn’t have time in the morning to make anything. “Why wouldn’t it work?” I asked him, getting back to the conversation at hand.
“He’s sort of strict. He’s never had children of his own. He said the last time I was there that I have to come straight home after school. I have to do all my homework before I can do anywhere else. I can’t go anywhere after dinner. The only exception is band practice, because ‘tousan told him not to mess with that, since it’s my future and all. And there’s not any concerts real soon, so there aren’t many band practices. I’m confined to a house for the next two weeks.”
I winced. With someone used to as much freedom as Yama, the next two weeks would be rather difficult. I know that he’s often out real late every day, because his dad works late and there’s never anyone to go home to. He’s gonna hate being shut up. Although at least maybe now he’ll start getting his homework done.
“Well, I’m sorry Yamato. I wish I could do more to help you.”
“It’s okay, Taichi. I didn’t expect you to help. I just wanted you to know that I won’t be around much. Is that cool?”
“Yeah, it’s cool. It’s not like you can help it.” I shoved his bowl back over to him just as the bell rang. “Come on, we don’t want to be late. Sensei would have a fit, and we’ve got a long way to go.”
He nodded and grabbed his bowl, stuffing it back in his lunch sack. Then we stood and made our way out of the cafeteria, preparing to cross campus to get to class.
+-+-+-+
One week later, Monday
“Don’t worry Masaji. We’ll be fine. Have fun on your trip.”
“Oh yeah, loads of fun. I just love business trips.” Dad laughed sarcastically, which surprised me. I didn’t know he even had sarcasm in him. He looked at me, standing there off to the side, a sullen look on my face. I didn’t want to be here, and all three of us knew it. “You behave yourself, you hear me?”
I nodded. “Hai, Otousan.”
He nodded back and looked back at his older brother. “I’ll be back in two weeks. Thanks again for taking care of him.”
“Really, I told you before, it’s no problem Masaji. And I’m sure Yamato will warm up to me soon.”
I shuddered at that. God forbid.
Dad climbed back into his car and backed out of the driveway, waving at me once before driving off. I watched his car disappearing down the street, trying mightily not to cry.
“Loads of fun, Masaji,” my uncle murmured.
“Why do you call him that?” I asked.
“Hmm?” he looked at me, snapped out of his thoughts which I can only imagine must be as perverted and sick as the rest of him.
“‘tousan. Why do you call him Masaji?”
“Masaharu’s the second son[1].”
“Oh. Makes sense, I suppose..”
“Come on. Let’s not stand out here all day, shall we?”
“Guess not,” I said reluctantly, and followed him inside.
Chapter 2 finale
[1] This would make more sense if it was read in Japanese, thus such: Masaharu wa jichou da. In their language, there’s a special word for the second born son: jichou.
Author’s Notes: Well, that was rather quick. Getting this second chapter out, I mean. And thus, the real plot of this story begins! Yay! Lots of dark angsty things ahead in the near future. Yep. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review!
chapter three
Digimon - R - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 37396 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 4-16-04 - Published: 1-11-04
chapter one
Disclaimer: I promise, it’s not mine. Honestly.
Author’s Notes: Well, well, Chapter 2 already, huh? You know, I had really great ideas for this story last night as I was falling asleep, and now I’ve forgotten them. Oh well, they’ll probably come to me during Astronomy or Study Hall. Or maybe US History. I think I’ll be sad when I graduate.. I won’t have lots of free time during class to think up Taito plots! Gah. Four and a half months.
Bleed
by: butterflie, formerly known as Crimson Goddess
Chapter 2:Blank
“Tadaima!” I slammed the door shut behind me and slipped off my shoes, then went in search of my family. Mom was in the kitchen cooking something I didn’t recognize but looked.. well, alive. And old. Ick. Wouldn’t be eating supper again tonight, it seems. “Tadaima, okaasan!”
She put the knife down on the cutting board and turned towards me. “Taichi, okaeri!” She smiled. “Did you have fun at Yamato’s?”
“Yeah. We watched some movies last night, and then went out to the park with some of our other friends earlier.”
“That’s good. Glad you enjoyed yourself, you seemed a bit upset yesterday.”
I smiled back at her. “It was nothing, just a bad day. Where’s Hikari?”
“She’s in her room, I believe.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
About two and a half years ago, right after the second Digital World stuff, my parents decided that Hikari and I were getting too old to share a room, and that we needed our own space. So we moved into an apartment a few blocks away from our old one. They were a lot alike, except that this one was bigger, and had an extra bedroom. So we finally had our own rooms, and I was glad. It had been getting too much of a hassle to share a room with her.
I knocked on her door. “Hikari?” I waited for her to acknowledge me before entering. Once, not long after we’d moved, I walked in pn her changing. Since she’d grown up more from when she was a baby, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Never again. So now I always knock first.
“Come in!” she called, and I did so. “Did you talk to Yamato?” she demanded first thing.
I sighed. “Yeah.”
“Did he tell you what was wrong?”
“No. Kept denying that anything was, that he was perfectly fine. He yelled at me, and tried to blame his lack of attention in school on lack of sleep.”
“Well, maybe that’s all it really is.”
“No,” I said insistently. “It’s not. You’d have to be there to really understand, Hikari. You’d have to see him to know that anything was wrong, and you’d have to know him really well. And last night, he was different.”
“Different how?” she asked, flopping backwards on her little bed. She had a really small bed. Even she could barely fit on it. I couldn’t, I was too big for it. So whenever she had someone over, she always used my bed, since I still had our old bunk bed.
“Like, I don’t know. Mostly little things. He didn’t leave the door unlocked for me like he usually does. Wore pants and long sleeves to bed. Took a shower at 1:15 in the morning. Had a nightmare that he woke up screaming from, then insisted he couldn’t remember. Kept zoning out while we were watching movies. The pieces of the puzzle are there, Hikari, I just don’t know how to put them together. And he won’t tell me a thing.”
“Did you ask him about the weird stuff?”
I went over and sat down at her desk chair, fiddling with the small knick-knacks gathered on her desk. “Yeah. He made up excuses. It wasn’t safe to keep the door unlocked, he’d meant to shower earlier, it got cold out at night, even though summer’s almost here. I don’t understand it. Wish he’d tell me.”
“Maybe he will. Just give him some time. Takeru’s coming over soon so we can study for an algebra test on Monday. You sure you don’t want me to talk to him?”
Just then the doorbell rang, and I heard my mom rush to answer it.
“That’s probably him there. Well?”
I paused, hesitant. I really didn’t want to worry Takeru about it, but something was wrong, and it’d be helpful to know if he’d noticed too. “I.. no, don’t ask him. Not now. I don’t want Takeru to worry.”
“Worry about what?”
Oops. I turned towards the door to see Takeru standing there, staring at me with a questioning look. “You don’t want me worrying about what, Taichi?” he repeated.
“Ano... it’s nothing. Nothing, Takeru.” I looked back at my imouto. “I’ll see you later, Hikari. You guys have fun.” I stood and tried to leave the room, but Takeru wouldn’t let me. Every time I tepped one way, he stepped the same way. I couldn’t get around him.
“What’s your problem?” I asked him,glaring.
He glared back at me. “What’s your problem? What are you keeping from me?”
“I said it was nothing, Takeru! Just forget about it!”
“No! You were talking about me! I have a right to know!”
“Not if I don’t want you to know!” I raised my fist, ready to swing a punch at him, but as he cringed back, I paused. If I hit his little brother, Yamato would kill me. I lowered my fist, just as Hikari jumped off of her bed, ready to intervene.
“Guys! Stop fighting! Takeru, let him go. It’s not worth it, and it’s nothing real important. If you really need to know, we’ll tell you, okay?”
“Well I really need to know,” he muttered, stepping aside to let me by.
“No, not right now you don’t. Okay? Now come on, we can’t fail the test.”
She led the upset blond into her room, and I disappeared into my own room to lose myself in mindless video games.
I got to homeroom two minutes before the bell Monday. Looking for Yamato, I didn’t see him anywhere. Sadly, this was starting to become normal. He often missed homeroom, or walked in when it was halfway over. Today apparently would be no exception.
The bell rang, and I scrambled to my seat, wondering if Yamato would at least show up for homeroom today. I nodded hello to a couple of guys from my soccer team, then quieted down as Sensei entered. He took care of the usual morning business and called roll, sighing slightly when there was no answer to Ishida Yamato. And when homeroom had ended, there was still no sign of him. I looked for him in the hallways on the way to my second class, but there was no sign of him. So I just gave up and went to class before I was late. And unfortunately this was the one class I didn’t have with Yamato, so I had no way of knowing when he got to school.
I suffered through that class, then impatiently headed to third, fully expecting to see Yamato when I walked in.
He wasn’t there.
What the hell? Is he still at home? Surely he would have called if he were sick or something, he always does..
It turns out he didn’t show up until halfway through fourth. He stood there at the front of the room as Sensei bawled him out, nodding occasionally as if he was listening, though to look at him you could tell his mind was a million miles away. Something else had happened to him, I was sure of it.
Finally he was allowed to take his seat, and he came over and sat next to me. I waited for Sensei to turn his back to the class, then hissed, “Yamato!”
He didn’t seem to hear me. Instead, he was staring off into space, his eyes blank, face slack. Not blinking, not moving, not aware of a thing around him.
“Yamato!” I hissed again. I reached over and poked him.
He jumped slightly and looked over at me. “Huh?”
“Where were you this morning?” I whispered. “Why were you so late to school?”
“I forgot to set my alarm. I overslept.”
“Overslept?!” Oops.
“Yamagi-kun, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”
“Ano.. gomen Sensei.”
“Please try to pay attention in class from now on, Yagami-kun,” he warned me, although he knew it wouldn’t do much good.
“Hai, Sensei.” I did my best to try to pay attention the rest of the class, but it was hard. I ached to talk to Yamato and see if I could find out what was wrong with him. But now I’d have to wait until lunch, and it wasn’t likely he’d talk to me anyways.
Finally the bell rang, and class was over. I jumped up and started tossing things into my bookbag, then faced Yamato, thinking he’d be ready to go.
He was just sitting there, still staring off into space, not yet realizing class was over.
“Ano.. Yamato?”
Like earlier, there was no response. He hadn’t heard me at all.
“Yamato!” I punched him lightly on the arm.
“Oww..” he mumbled. “What’d you do that for?”
“Come on, class is over. Didn’t you hear the bell?”
“The bell?” He gazed around the room with some surprise, startled to find it empty of everyone but us and Sensei. “Oh, uh, guess I didn’t. Sorry.”
Hastily he stumbled up from his seat and started towards the door.
“Yamato?”
“What?” He turned back towards me.
I pointed to his bookbag, which was laying forgotten on the floor beside his desk.
“Oh, heh, whoops,” he said sheepishly, coming back for it. He grabbed it and we headed towards lunch.
“Dammit, why does he always have to get so pissed off and stubborn about it? All I want to do is help him! Is that such a crime? Why does he make such a big deal out of everything? Why can’t he just tell me! We’re best friends! I thought by now he’d have learned to trust me! I hate seeming him in so much pain! I don’t know what to do, Kou..”
The red-headed genuis watched with concern as I paced around his living room. “If he doesn’t want to tell you, then there’s really not much you can do for him, Taichi. Just let him know you’re there if he wants to talk. Don’t try to force him to talk like you did at lunch today. You’re just making him more closed off. He’ll probably be more willing to talk on his own terms, when he’s ready, and he doesn’t feel obligated to tell you just because you’re best friends.”
I sigh defeatedly and sank down on his couch next to him. “You’re right, you know. I didn’t really handle it well. But it’s just so hard! I care so much about him, and having to see him hurt and not know what’s wrong..” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I just wish I knew how to help him. I feel so helpless.”
Koushiro was the only person who knew that I liked Yamato. I hadn’t told anyone else. Sometimes it’s so nice to just be so open..
“Yeah, I know, Tai,” he said softly. “I’m sure things will work out eventually.”
“That’s what Hikari said..” Closing my eyes, I said, “I should probably go home and call him to apologize.”
“I think that would be a sound idea.”
I groaned at him and opened my eyes. He nudged my head off his shoulder and stood, offering me a hand. “Come on.”
I took it and let him pull me to my feet. “Sorry about coming over and ranting at you.”
“It’s okay. What are friends for, after all?”
I gave him a soft smile. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Hello?”
“Ano.. Yamato? It’s Taichi.”
“What do you want?”
“Can I come over for a little bit? I need to talk to you. Or is there somewhere we can go?”
“We can go to the park.”
“Okay. Then will you meet me there in about twenty minutes, please?”
“I guess.”
“Thanks!” I was relieved. “See you then.” I hung up. He didn’t seem too happy with me.. Well, I had embarrassed him in front of the whole cafeteria at lunch today. I suppose I deserved to have him a little mad at me, though I didn’t like the feeling.
I grabbed my jacket off the back of my desk chair, because earlier when I’d gone out on an errand for mom, it’d been raining lightly. I didn’t know if it was still was or not, but chances were it would be a little chilly.
“I’m going out for a bit!” I yelled as I headed towards the front door. “I’ll be back soon!”
“Taichi, what about dinner?” Mom yelled after me. But it was too late. The door slammed, and I was gone.
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Apparently I’d gotten to the park before Taichi, so I chose our favourite tree and took a spot up under it, waiting for him to arrive. I didn’t wait long; presently I saw his silhoutte approaching the tree. I called out to him. “Taichi.”
He continued to head towards me. “Hey,” he said when he reached me. I wondered what he was thinking. Probably worrying about me being mad at him. Which I wasn’t. Not really. Not anymore. Oh sure, I’d been mad earlier, but I was pretty much over that now. After all, he’s made a fool of himself in the cafeteria millions of times. So what if I was made a fool of once? It’s not like I should have cared what others thought of me anyways. It’s just that it mattered at the time, and I was so sick of him and my dad trying to figure out what happened, and then, after the little bombshell dad dropped on me today.. I clenched my hands into a fist, trying to forget about that,half hoping Taichi wouldn’t notice. Half hoping he would. Hoping he’d leave it alone. Hoping he wouldn’t.
“Yama?”
“What?” I winced, that came out harsher than I’d meant for it to.
“I just.. well, I just wanted to apologize. About before. Today. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. Do you forgive me?”
I let out a soft exhalation of breath. “Yeah, I forgive you Taichi.”
“Good.”
There was silence for a bit, but it was such a comfortable silence that I didn’t mind it. There were often such silences with Taichi; being friends with him for such a long time, we were able to be content just in each other’s presence.
“You know..” he began. I waited. “You know,” he said again. “..that I’ll be here for you, right? That I’ll.. continue to be.. your friend,” he was fumbling with his words, unsure of himself, as if he didn’t quite know how to get out what he wanted to say. “I know something’s wrong. I’m not blind, and I don’t appreciate.. you lying to me.. but I know I was.. well, I was wrong to push you, to try.. to try to force you to tell me.. when you didn’t..”
“Taichi-“
“No, let me finish. I shouldn’t.. I shouldn’t have forced you when you.. you weren’t ready to talk. I’m sorry about that.. I just, I want you to know, if you ever need me.. if you ever just need an ear to listen.. Well, I do care, and I’ll always be there when you want me. I just want you to know that.”
I didn’t quite know what to say to that. I was rather touched, and felt sort of guilty. I had been lying to him, and shoving him away, but I wasn’t trying to shut him out. It’s just that I couldn’t tell him, couldn’t tell anyone for the sake of Takeru. “Taichi.. I’m sorry. Sorry for being an ass these past weeks. And.. well, that means a lot to me. Thanks.”
He breathed out in relief. “You’re welcome.” He offered me a lopsided grin, and I returned it. “Come on, let’s go home.”
Dad was waiting up for me in the living room when I got home. “Tadaima,” I said half-heartedly.
“Okaeri,” he said. “I called your uncle today. He said it was okay for you to stay over again while I’m gone on my trip.”
“Of course he would have said that,” I muttered.
He frowned. “What?”
“Nothin’, ‘tousan.” I grimaced. “Look, do I have to go? Why can’t I stay over at Taichi’s?”
Dad let out a tired sigh. “Yamato, we’ve been over this before. I don’t want you staying over at Taichi’s for two weeks. There’s really not enough room for you there for such a long time.”
“Then why can’t I stay here by myself?”
“Because I don’t feel comfortable having you alone for such a time, and no, I don’t want you and Taichi here yourselves either!”
“But I’m old enough to stay on my own! Please ‘tousan!”
“Why don’t you want to spend time with your uncle? You used to love going there when you were little.”
“Well, I’m not little anymore! I resent being babysat like a child. And besides, he’s creepy.”
“I know he can be a little weird, Yamato, but he’s not a bad guy.”
That’s what you think, I thought bitterly.
“And besides, you survived it last time, didn’t you?” Barely. “You can tough it out again. It’s only two weeks.”
“Oh, but I thought two weeks was such a long time. That’s what you said a moment ago.”
“You are staying with your uncle and that’s that, Ishida Yamato!”
“Agh! I hate you!” I shouted, running to my room. I flung myself down on my bed and buried my face into my pillow to stifle the sobs that were suddenly tearing themselves out of my throat.
Two weeks. Two whole weeks spent back in Hell. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t. Why did dad have to be so cruel? How could he do this to me? I don’t want to do this. I really don’t. Why couldn’t I just stay with Taichi? At least then I’d be safe.
At last, despite the worries and fears ruminating around in my brain, lulled by the soothing tears cascading down my cheeks, I fell asleep, my face still buried in my tear-soaked pillow.
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“Two weeks? Man, that’s rough, Yama. I’m sorry. Your dad wouldn’t let you stay at mine, or Takeru’s?”
“He doesn’t want me to be a burden to you guys. And I’d never stay with Takeru. ‘kaasan would drive me crazy. And you know she doesn’t like me much. Remember? Takeru’s her son. I’m just an obligant offspring.”
“Yamato...” I hated hearing him talk like that. He always sounded so bitter and hurt when talking about his mother. But really, I suppose it was at least partially true. I’d never seen a mother seem to care so little about her son as Ms. Takaishi about Yamato.
“Well maybe it won’t be so bad. Didn’t you stay with your uncle about a month ago? I think I remember meeting him. He seemed like a pretty decent guy to me.”
“I don’t like him,” he stated flatly.
“Well why not?”
He shrugged, and took a small bite out of his yakisoba. “I don’t know. I just don’t. He’s weird.”
I frowned. “Weird how?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
I laughed. “Well you certainly don’t know a lot, do ya? Come on, if it really bothers you that much, you can stay at my place late every day. We can hang and play video games and stuff. Bother Hikari and Takeru.”
He shook his head, and set his chopsticks aside. “Wouldn’t work.”
“You gonna eat anymore of that?” I asked. He shoved the bowl over to me, and I shoveled it in eagerly. My lunch at school was always meager, since I didn’t have time in the morning to make anything. “Why wouldn’t it work?” I asked him, getting back to the conversation at hand.
“He’s sort of strict. He’s never had children of his own. He said the last time I was there that I have to come straight home after school. I have to do all my homework before I can do anywhere else. I can’t go anywhere after dinner. The only exception is band practice, because ‘tousan told him not to mess with that, since it’s my future and all. And there’s not any concerts real soon, so there aren’t many band practices. I’m confined to a house for the next two weeks.”
I winced. With someone used to as much freedom as Yama, the next two weeks would be rather difficult. I know that he’s often out real late every day, because his dad works late and there’s never anyone to go home to. He’s gonna hate being shut up. Although at least maybe now he’ll start getting his homework done.
“Well, I’m sorry Yamato. I wish I could do more to help you.”
“It’s okay, Taichi. I didn’t expect you to help. I just wanted you to know that I won’t be around much. Is that cool?”
“Yeah, it’s cool. It’s not like you can help it.” I shoved his bowl back over to him just as the bell rang. “Come on, we don’t want to be late. Sensei would have a fit, and we’ve got a long way to go.”
He nodded and grabbed his bowl, stuffing it back in his lunch sack. Then we stood and made our way out of the cafeteria, preparing to cross campus to get to class.
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One week later, Monday
“Don’t worry Masaji. We’ll be fine. Have fun on your trip.”
“Oh yeah, loads of fun. I just love business trips.” Dad laughed sarcastically, which surprised me. I didn’t know he even had sarcasm in him. He looked at me, standing there off to the side, a sullen look on my face. I didn’t want to be here, and all three of us knew it. “You behave yourself, you hear me?”
I nodded. “Hai, Otousan.”
He nodded back and looked back at his older brother. “I’ll be back in two weeks. Thanks again for taking care of him.”
“Really, I told you before, it’s no problem Masaji. And I’m sure Yamato will warm up to me soon.”
I shuddered at that. God forbid.
Dad climbed back into his car and backed out of the driveway, waving at me once before driving off. I watched his car disappearing down the street, trying mightily not to cry.
“Loads of fun, Masaji,” my uncle murmured.
“Why do you call him that?” I asked.
“Hmm?” he looked at me, snapped out of his thoughts which I can only imagine must be as perverted and sick as the rest of him.
“‘tousan. Why do you call him Masaji?”
“Masaharu’s the second son[1].”
“Oh. Makes sense, I suppose..”
“Come on. Let’s not stand out here all day, shall we?”
“Guess not,” I said reluctantly, and followed him inside.
Chapter 2 finale
[1] This would make more sense if it was read in Japanese, thus such: Masaharu wa jichou da. In their language, there’s a special word for the second born son: jichou.
Author’s Notes: Well, that was rather quick. Getting this second chapter out, I mean. And thus, the real plot of this story begins! Yay! Lots of dark angsty things ahead in the near future. Yep. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review!
chapter three