why do i even bother, why do i try...it always just ends up the same fucking way....i confess, she says 1 of 4 things: 1- she dosen't see me like that, 2- im too good of a friend and she dosent want to risk messing that up, 3- she dosent want a b/f at the moment, or the new 4th reason - she sees me like a (older) brother...then she forgets about ( Read more... )

so...its happened once again...my expectations lead me on falsely...and once again i am, not let down..but...somthing of the like, i kant think of thhe word to describe my feelings...all i kan think of is two words..'older brother'...wtf???

but yeah...i have found yet another song to describe these feelings about her: 'endless sacrafice' by Dream ( Read more... )

i was just pondering over my week and all the shit i have to get done when i thought about the date...its the 25th, and that means MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THURSDAY!! yeah im finally gonna be 17, even tho ive been passing for 18 or older for the past 2 years, but yeah, oct 28th is my b-day..i hella wanna have a party but ill prolly wait on that...later

so...in that last entry i said somthing about liking a new girl...anywayz...this entry is about that, and how i was feeling last night, besides completely exhausted...i was listening to the 'saint anger' album today and the song 'the unnamed feeling' came on, i have heard it in so long, but it pretty much descibes how i was feeling last night... ( Read more... )

and im hooked on another song, it has a funny name "i liked you better before you were naked on the internet", its by from first to last. its on those slow songs that kinda make u think, well, it made me think at least...anywayz...here are the lyrics:

[its amazing what youll find when you just open your eyes
sometimes love can leave you blind
but ( Read more... )

hey guys, second update today, anywayz...i been pondering getting a tatoo for some time now, like about 6 months or so, and i think i found a design i like, its a celtic style cross thatd go on my left upper arm:


( Read more... )

so..been a while since i've actually updated this...not much has been up, rehersal for fiddler mostely, happening stuff, kalling and emailing people, trying to get things goin kuz we gots our first meeting *blatent plug* if you've been to/staffed happening before and are interested in staffing this year, leave me a message/email/kall me, its not ( Read more... )

and another new song..."those unspoken words"...here goes ( Read more... )

so...pretty much everything is sucking majorly right now...i say pretty much, kuz one thing is going good, and thats happening. i got a fone call today from jane, asking if i would be rector, of course i said yes. but yeah...thats like the highlight of my month right now...but yeah.. oh also, my hair's black now, along with my shanty beard ( Read more... )

been a couple of days since i last updated and the last wasnt even a real update, so here goes ( Read more... )