When will I wake from this daze?
God. I'm tired. Really tired. It's this strange feeling of feeling utterly weighed down in the back of my mind. Like someone put one of those ball and chains on my thought process. I can't find motivation to get excited about much of anything. I can't even motivate myself to do my job well. I hate that. I pride myself in my work ethic. Or... I did before.
My health's been cranky as hell. One day I'm ok, the next I have to run back to the doctor. Seriously. This has to stop. So... I'm thinking I need to just eat it and start exercising. (Please don't let me let myself down on this one.) Figure I'll get two birds with one stone... I'll go walking work up to jogging and take my uncontrollable mutt with me. Maybe it'll also work off my stress. It's worth a try right?
Another thing is... I feel so... lonely. No knock to my online friends. Hell, I make it on a daily basis cause they're there for me. But with my two closest friends running away to Northern states... it gets you to realize how much of a life you don't have.
My personality is due for a major make over. I'm cussing WAY too much. If nothing else, my temper has taken a nerve pill and left me alone for the most part. Now I'm just too laid back and altogether apathetic. Bad too. I'll be crossing my fingers that I work this out and stick with it. If nothing else... I'll be healthier and able when my niece comes along. I think my niece deserves that much.
On another note... I had a dream about a friend of mine last night. I haven't seen him in a long time. Or I should say talk. I always have crazy dreams about him here and there that wake me in a panic. So... if you read this sweetheart (and you know who you are), know my thoughts are with you and I'm praying you're ok.
Ok. Download of crappy mood done. Cross your fingers for me.
My health's been cranky as hell. One day I'm ok, the next I have to run back to the doctor. Seriously. This has to stop. So... I'm thinking I need to just eat it and start exercising. (Please don't let me let myself down on this one.) Figure I'll get two birds with one stone... I'll go walking work up to jogging and take my uncontrollable mutt with me. Maybe it'll also work off my stress. It's worth a try right?
Another thing is... I feel so... lonely. No knock to my online friends. Hell, I make it on a daily basis cause they're there for me. But with my two closest friends running away to Northern states... it gets you to realize how much of a life you don't have.
My personality is due for a major make over. I'm cussing WAY too much. If nothing else, my temper has taken a nerve pill and left me alone for the most part. Now I'm just too laid back and altogether apathetic. Bad too. I'll be crossing my fingers that I work this out and stick with it. If nothing else... I'll be healthier and able when my niece comes along. I think my niece deserves that much.
On another note... I had a dream about a friend of mine last night. I haven't seen him in a long time. Or I should say talk. I always have crazy dreams about him here and there that wake me in a panic. So... if you read this sweetheart (and you know who you are), know my thoughts are with you and I'm praying you're ok.
Ok. Download of crappy mood done. Cross your fingers for me.