Title: What If
Fandom: Buffy/Angel
Author:
frk_werewolfslash_100 Prompt: #55, If. (
table)
Pairings: Wesley/Gunn, hints of Wesley/Xander, Wesley/Angel
Rating: heavy PG-13
Summary: There were only so many times people could ask themselves 'what if?'
Notes: From Season 3 of Buffy on through to Season Five of Angel.
Sunnydale had been close to a nightmare, and yet Wesley wouldn't have changed his experience there for the world. Due to the things that had happened there, Wesley had been able to change himself for the better. He was able to see the weaknesses of the organization that he had held so dear.
Despite all of this, Sunnydale still left a lot of questions. What ifs, Wesley supposed they could be called. What if he had been welcomed with open arms? What if Faith had followed his instruction, instead of turning renegade? What if Xander Harris had noticed how often Wesley had stared at his arse?
It wasn't that Wesley had meant to, and he was rather thankful that no one had actually seen. It was bad enough to find himself slowly developing a crush on the humorous, adorable young man that was nearly five years younger than him, but to have someone call him on it? He would have never lived it down.
Still, the question remained, as questions usually do: What if Xander had looked back? It was the type of thought that led to fantasies, which Wesley was getting far too old to indulge in. At the time, however? Well, the thought of undressing Xander, touching his smooth skin, wrapping a hand around his hardened flesh and slowly tugging... It was enough to make a person pant.
That wasn't the last time that Wesley would watch someone from afar. Angel was a vampire, a dark creature with the face of an angel that had fallen from grace. He had a body to match his beauty and, well, it was no wonder Wesley had followed him around like a love-starved puppy. Even Wesley could admit that he didn't bother to hide his crush at the time.
The question of 'what if...' didn't even come up with Angel. There was no mistaking how Angel felt about him, and even if Angel had looked at Wesley in that sort of way there could be nothing done for it. What was worst than falling in love and then realizing that being with that person wasn't the same for them? That, while you were experiencing that absolute and perfect happiness, he wasn't? The thought was almost worst that releasing Angelus on the world.
Yet, really, the 'what if...' of Wesley's relationship with Angel rested solely on the question of his own actions. What if he had not stolen Connor? What if he had told Angel about the prophecy, told anyone? Of course, now such thoughts only resided within Wesley's subconscious, where he could not reach, for his memory of Connor was long gone.
Now, Wesley was faced with an entirely different question, one that he was utterly uncertain about. What if he allowed Gunn to kiss him? He could push him away, realizing that his friend was drunk, or he could pull him closer. If Wesley kissed him first, how would Gunn react?
Gunn's body felt warm against his own, cooling a sense of coldness that he had within. Something hard pressed against his hip where Gunn’s body had drawn close. "Gunn."
"Shut up, English." Gunn replied, his nose pressing against the side of Wesley's neck. Wesley held his breath, only to let it out in order to gasp as Gunn’s tongue slid across his throat.
“Gunn…?” Wesley was cut off as Gunn kissed him on the mouth, lips pressed firmly against his own. Wesley grunted, parting his lips in order to allow Gunn’s tongue entrance.
“You were saying?” Gunn asked, smirking.
“What if…?” Wesley felt Gunn’s hand ghost of his side, before gipping his hip. “What if someone sees?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Gunn ordered. Wesley decided to take his advice.