Gryffindor Common Room.(It was around 1 AM, so it's tentativley 'private')
(Private, but stirrings, mumbled words, something like that is possible.)
Me: One foot infront of the other, silent as the night, and yet bright as day in mannerism. Lupin, like so many other nights, was walking the halls. Tonight he was near Gryffindor Tower, a quick check of his watch-nifty little muggle gadget- and he figured someone would still be awake. He walked up the stairs nodding to the portraits here and there, and when he reached the Fat Lady, he nodded his head in polite gesture. "Avis." He stepped through to the common room.
Harry: Harry was sitting infront of the fire, alone and watching. Almost half awake. His time on the Pitch had proved to be more then just a physical work out. His mind was going crazy like the fire, and whether he realized or not, he was crying.
Me: No words, not yet, Lupin walked over and sat down next to Harry. Quiet and calm, he looked once at the fire, and then back to the boy. He shifted slightly, and then put his hand over one of Harry's. It remained there, as he watched the fire, waiting.
Harry: He wasn't surprised by the touch of his teachers hand. He just started to talk. "I really am different. Everyone thinks I'm so different...I am." He closed his eyes, tears slowly falling. "And now...I'm more alone then ever...."
Me: His other hand reached into his robes, pulling out a white hankerchief, pressed and clean. He held it out to Harry, speaking softly. "You're not alone." It wasn't anything poetic or beautiful, no, just the truth this time. Lupin sighed, he knew this was coming. It was all a matter of time. "Many people are here for you, all the time. Why are you alone?"
Harry: "Sirius was the only family I had left. You know, I told Hannah it was all right to cry. Yes, your here. And that's good...really! But..." It wasn't the same. Sirius was closer to James and Lily near the end. He took the hanky and blew his nose, taking his glasses off. They were fogging anyway.
Me: The not so beautiful beginning of the mourning process. Harry had moved on through denial, now the anger and pent up frustration was all that was left. Unfortunately for Hannah, without knowing it, the poor girl had triggered it. It was for the better at any rate, these feelings needed to be sorted out after all. "What is family?" Remus didn't have much of it himself. "Family, is a word. Nothing more. The word only implies biological ties." He looked at Harry, squarely. "Just because you don't have many biological ties left, does not mean you are alone."
Harry: All this was getting through, but it wasn't. Family? Remus was right. He never had a real family. His family stuck him in a broom closet the first 12 years of his life. HIS family kept so many secrets from him. And the luck he was having with women lately...his destiny..."I'm never going to have a family." His expression was pained. "I'm going to die, alone, with no other...knowing that Sirius...Diggory....are dead because...of me."
Me: Something snapped within the Professor, not in a bad way, more in a 'Now is the time' way. He placed a comforting arm around Harry, and pulled him close for a moment. "You will have one, if that's what you want in life." He held Harry closer, when he felt the boy's body tense up. Listening he shook his head. "They were not you're fault." Of all people, to blame deaths upon, who better than the Werewolf? Lupin had, experience, in the matter of blaming deaths on himself. Even if it wasn't entirely his fault. "Cedric was a horrible loss, but only a brief showing of what will happen if you lose what is most important-your faith." He took a breath before the next one. "Sirius.. those who fall behind the curtain, are meant to fall there." He closed his eyes for a moment, "...it wouldn't be there, if they were not." He looked back over at Harry. "You blame too much on yourself."
Harry: He latched on, sobbing. He didn't care who saw them. Didn't even care if Malfoy walked in and spread it to the whole school. He was right. He shouldn't blame himself for so much. But Harry was also right. Some of his confusion lifted as he suddenly came to a realization: He was different. He always would be. His pain for Sirius' loss wasn't just his own, it was Remus' too. Harry had lost a God-father; a man he barely knew. Lupin had lost, he had lost more.
Me: What else could he do? He held onto the boy, held him close, whispered soothing noises. He rocked him slightly back and forth, and in his mind, all he could remember was Sirius. Those nights he would look at the moon, two days before the horrible pain, the suffering would begin. How Sirius would hold him much like this, his scent. Everything. Though, Lupin was a composed man, he was able to keep it together, his eyes were slightly wet, but nothing more. His hand came up and cupped the side of Harry's head gently.If only I could carry some of the burden for him...
Harry: He looked up through the tears. He looked at Lupin, needing an answer. He had been called many things through his life. The Boy Who Lived, A Savior, Perfect Potter. And in a way, he tried to be all those things; tried to please everyone. Gain trust and acceptance. Now, he questioned all that. And he needed to know. "What am I...?"
Me: Finally an easy question. Lupin sighed, looked at him earnestly and dearly. "You're you. Nothing more, nothing less. Harry James Potter son of James Potter and Lily Evans." He winked. "With a bit of something extra, added into the mix, dealing with fate and destiny."
Harry: A shuffling from upstairs made him pull away. He listened to see if whatever it was came down the stairs. But it didn't. He sighed, realizing the state he was in and whiped at his face roughly. Taking a deep breath, he looked to Lupin. He nodded, acknowledging that what he had said made sense. Even though, it didn't seem to help at the time.
Me: "Rest assured Harry, you'll find who you are, for yourself." He patted the boy on the back, and stood up. He looked back down to Harry. "Best get to bed. I want a good showing of your Patronus in class tomorrow." Lupin held out his hand for the other to grasp, help him get up so he could get to bed at least.
Harry: He took it, and rose slowly to his feet. Sleep? More like lie there, once again and stare at his ceiling. "Right. Have to do that infront of everyone." Only proving once again, that his fellow classmates would expect it out of him. And why was it that he had gained more comfort in his Professor's arms then in the kiss of those girls? Another headache, for another time.
Me: A nod of his head showed that Harry wasn't the only one, who understood that 'sleeping' meant lying there awake until the potion kicked in. He leant forward, bending over a little, to gaze at Harry's eyes. He shook his head. "I'll bring you some of the potion I drink to get me to sleep at night." While he knew these confused sleepless nights were important to being a teenager in general, they needed to be a bit less trying on the boy. He turned, and began to walk out. "See you tomorrow. Good night." Somewhere in his mind, he heard Sirius say 'Goodnight' too. Somewhere..
Harry: "Night...." He was alone again in the room. Looking at the fire one last time, he wrapped his arms around himself and made his way up to laying awake. He would say to sleep, but it was doubtful.
Me: One foot infront of the other, silent as the night, and yet bright as day in mannerism. Lupin, like so many other nights, was walking the halls. Tonight he was near Gryffindor Tower, a quick check of his watch-nifty little muggle gadget- and he figured someone would still be awake. He walked up the stairs nodding to the portraits here and there, and when he reached the Fat Lady, he nodded his head in polite gesture. "Avis." He stepped through to the common room.
Harry: Harry was sitting infront of the fire, alone and watching. Almost half awake. His time on the Pitch had proved to be more then just a physical work out. His mind was going crazy like the fire, and whether he realized or not, he was crying.
Me: No words, not yet, Lupin walked over and sat down next to Harry. Quiet and calm, he looked once at the fire, and then back to the boy. He shifted slightly, and then put his hand over one of Harry's. It remained there, as he watched the fire, waiting.
Harry: He wasn't surprised by the touch of his teachers hand. He just started to talk. "I really am different. Everyone thinks I'm so different...I am." He closed his eyes, tears slowly falling. "And now...I'm more alone then ever...."
Me: His other hand reached into his robes, pulling out a white hankerchief, pressed and clean. He held it out to Harry, speaking softly. "You're not alone." It wasn't anything poetic or beautiful, no, just the truth this time. Lupin sighed, he knew this was coming. It was all a matter of time. "Many people are here for you, all the time. Why are you alone?"
Harry: "Sirius was the only family I had left. You know, I told Hannah it was all right to cry. Yes, your here. And that's good...really! But..." It wasn't the same. Sirius was closer to James and Lily near the end. He took the hanky and blew his nose, taking his glasses off. They were fogging anyway.
Me: The not so beautiful beginning of the mourning process. Harry had moved on through denial, now the anger and pent up frustration was all that was left. Unfortunately for Hannah, without knowing it, the poor girl had triggered it. It was for the better at any rate, these feelings needed to be sorted out after all. "What is family?" Remus didn't have much of it himself. "Family, is a word. Nothing more. The word only implies biological ties." He looked at Harry, squarely. "Just because you don't have many biological ties left, does not mean you are alone."
Harry: All this was getting through, but it wasn't. Family? Remus was right. He never had a real family. His family stuck him in a broom closet the first 12 years of his life. HIS family kept so many secrets from him. And the luck he was having with women lately...his destiny..."I'm never going to have a family." His expression was pained. "I'm going to die, alone, with no other...knowing that Sirius...Diggory....are dead because...of me."
Me: Something snapped within the Professor, not in a bad way, more in a 'Now is the time' way. He placed a comforting arm around Harry, and pulled him close for a moment. "You will have one, if that's what you want in life." He held Harry closer, when he felt the boy's body tense up. Listening he shook his head. "They were not you're fault." Of all people, to blame deaths upon, who better than the Werewolf? Lupin had, experience, in the matter of blaming deaths on himself. Even if it wasn't entirely his fault. "Cedric was a horrible loss, but only a brief showing of what will happen if you lose what is most important-your faith." He took a breath before the next one. "Sirius.. those who fall behind the curtain, are meant to fall there." He closed his eyes for a moment, "...it wouldn't be there, if they were not." He looked back over at Harry. "You blame too much on yourself."
Harry: He latched on, sobbing. He didn't care who saw them. Didn't even care if Malfoy walked in and spread it to the whole school. He was right. He shouldn't blame himself for so much. But Harry was also right. Some of his confusion lifted as he suddenly came to a realization: He was different. He always would be. His pain for Sirius' loss wasn't just his own, it was Remus' too. Harry had lost a God-father; a man he barely knew. Lupin had lost, he had lost more.
Me: What else could he do? He held onto the boy, held him close, whispered soothing noises. He rocked him slightly back and forth, and in his mind, all he could remember was Sirius. Those nights he would look at the moon, two days before the horrible pain, the suffering would begin. How Sirius would hold him much like this, his scent. Everything. Though, Lupin was a composed man, he was able to keep it together, his eyes were slightly wet, but nothing more. His hand came up and cupped the side of Harry's head gently.If only I could carry some of the burden for him...
Harry: He looked up through the tears. He looked at Lupin, needing an answer. He had been called many things through his life. The Boy Who Lived, A Savior, Perfect Potter. And in a way, he tried to be all those things; tried to please everyone. Gain trust and acceptance. Now, he questioned all that. And he needed to know. "What am I...?"
Me: Finally an easy question. Lupin sighed, looked at him earnestly and dearly. "You're you. Nothing more, nothing less. Harry James Potter son of James Potter and Lily Evans." He winked. "With a bit of something extra, added into the mix, dealing with fate and destiny."
Harry: A shuffling from upstairs made him pull away. He listened to see if whatever it was came down the stairs. But it didn't. He sighed, realizing the state he was in and whiped at his face roughly. Taking a deep breath, he looked to Lupin. He nodded, acknowledging that what he had said made sense. Even though, it didn't seem to help at the time.
Me: "Rest assured Harry, you'll find who you are, for yourself." He patted the boy on the back, and stood up. He looked back down to Harry. "Best get to bed. I want a good showing of your Patronus in class tomorrow." Lupin held out his hand for the other to grasp, help him get up so he could get to bed at least.
Harry: He took it, and rose slowly to his feet. Sleep? More like lie there, once again and stare at his ceiling. "Right. Have to do that infront of everyone." Only proving once again, that his fellow classmates would expect it out of him. And why was it that he had gained more comfort in his Professor's arms then in the kiss of those girls? Another headache, for another time.
Me: A nod of his head showed that Harry wasn't the only one, who understood that 'sleeping' meant lying there awake until the potion kicked in. He leant forward, bending over a little, to gaze at Harry's eyes. He shook his head. "I'll bring you some of the potion I drink to get me to sleep at night." While he knew these confused sleepless nights were important to being a teenager in general, they needed to be a bit less trying on the boy. He turned, and began to walk out. "See you tomorrow. Good night." Somewhere in his mind, he heard Sirius say 'Goodnight' too. Somewhere..
Harry: "Night...." He was alone again in the room. Looking at the fire one last time, he wrapped his arms around himself and made his way up to laying awake. He would say to sleep, but it was doubtful.