Analysis of "Epic Fail"
"Epic Fail" with its not even nine (9) minutes of quality screentime was worth a week of fruitful conversations between two fans. Here's a kind of summary of our musings:
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"Epic Fail"
or
Of Epic friendship and the Fail of the sorry rest
An analysis by Micki E. Wilson & luridlurker
Being released from Mayfield, House seems to be determined to change his life. This time, for the first time, he takes it seriously and starts with quitting his job: "I need to change my environment, my habits."
Cuddy: House, are you okay?
House: Yeah, and I wanna stay that way.
Change is bad had always been his doctrine-but now he doesn't shy away from a drastic change in his career by applying for a position in research to reduce the stress. But perhaps more surprising is hearing him say he's sorry for his fellows who might lose their jobs or be forced to accept different positions as a consequence of his quitting his job.
In the wake of this we interestingly get to see that his office and conference room have been mothballed, waiting for his return from his leave of absence. Foreman must have been impatient for months to get it going again, obviously hoping House would never return. His glee when he sits down in House's chair is an ugly thing to see.
Before quitting his Job, House has already made another step to change his old habits. He didn't return to his own apartment but-as suggested by Nolan-moved in with Wilson instead.
Addicts aren't supposed to return to the environment that prompted or encouraged their addiction, which is an important step to prevent them from relapsing. House knows this, Wilson knows this, and perhaps he had known all along that House would never return to his apartment. And that is perhaps why he did not keep it clean in his absence, or even more: he wanted it to look as uninviting and unappealing as possible so House wouldn't even think about spending more time there than absolutely necessary (they definitely cheated us out on that important talk between them! There's at least a whole episode missing!).
When House later on does return to his apartment, the impact is great, seeing him step into that dark, colorless, lifeless place of stagnant air and stagnant time. No electricity, dust on all surfaces: That is no place to live in anymore.
His apartment represents his past he has left behind-especially hammered down when he gets his secret stash of Vicodin. While House holds the vial in his hand, one can literally see the thoughts racing though his brain. Will he have gone through everything for nothing; will his resolves hold against the return of the pain?
House, being jobless, has too much time at his hands now. His old hobbies of playing poker, playing the guitar and the piano, or bowling are considered lame, new ones he can't think up. Nolan suggests trying something new, something Wilson likes to do in his free time, something he could do together with him, something that would make House a more active part of his life. The cooking class also explains why Wilson knows how to cook, though he seems to have to work a little harder for it than House, whose ability to see patterns and similarities (here between cooking and chemistry) surfaces right away which is making him an incredible cook.
The cooking scene is absolutely hilarious. Two men in aprons, in partner look at that, joking about balls smoking, balls rolling and keeping an open mind doing so, blue balls and saved balls. Them thinking the other's thoughts and feeling good with it-their balls are safe with each other. They're just so cute to watch when so much in tune.
House even makes friends with a woman form the cooking class and he obviously speaks Mandarin quite well-along with several other languages, as we know. By the way, I loved the hooker comment when Cuddy appears in the kitchen though that time she is dressed rather decently. In contrast to her usual, much more revealing outfits, which are utterly inappropriate for a business woman who wants to be taken seriously.
Cuddy is not the reason why House chooses to leave the hospital, and she is definitely not the reason why he decides to return to the diagnostics department in the end either. In the past months and also right now, when he does the first steps to re-invent his whole life, she was and is no part of it so far.
What she can't comprehend yet and what everybody seemed to regard as impossible has happened: House has changed. He starts to talk to people, and when he opens up, his voice becomes soft and serious. One very early morning House tells Wilson (an adorably sleepy and tousled Wilson who speaks in a voice rough from lack of use) that his leg has troubled him and that it was either cooking that night, or doing something stupid out on the streets.
They make eye contact, absolute truth between them. And Wilson readily takes a taste of the ragout again that House had cooked half of the night, and suddenly it's more than just a well-cooked sauce: "Good choice! So, so good!" And it's not just the food he's talking about here.
It's so typical House to use syringes for cooking. And he gives Thirteen relationship advice, proving once again that he does know what's going on in his absence, that he's got Foreman's personality down to a tee and that he is also well able to analyze relationships and their dynamics. And maybe for the first time in his life he advises somebody to give in to be happier. Which is essentially what he is trying to do himself as well.
Without much thought he reveals to Thirteen that his leg hurts again and he realizes that cooking was fine for a week but won't work any longer. Cooking helped a while to take his mind off things, but once he's mastered the art of preparing a challenging dish like a master chef, once he's had it down pat, it becomes boring and loses its appeal, which is also why none of his other hobbies would (and never did) work either.
Obviously House doesn't get much sleep with his brain and leg refusing to shut up. When Wilson leaves home to get to work at eight in the morning, House is watching substandard TV, a marathon of "The biggest Loser", while stuffing himself with ice-cream: "I pretend they can see me eating!" That is the old House everybody loves. But it's also the old House coming out of hiding again, on his first step to relapse.
To his credit, Wilson realizes right away that House has given up on cooking. And in this newly beginning spiral of failing, disappointment and depression House turns to old strategies and habits: deflecting by lying when he's speaking about his leg ("It's fine"). Wilson catches the lie, he knows House too well to be deceived this easily. But it might be only a lapse for when House later talks to Nolan he confesses right away that his leg is "killing" him. He even admits being worried and getting worked up about the pain and the fear that nothing might help against it, which once more has made it worse and worse. The fear to end up in a "very dark place". Again.
That Wilson hasn't believed everything is fine is shown when he unexpectedly returns home for lunch. He's been worried about House and has given in to his need to check up on him, obviously not able to wait until his regular work day is over. At first he's trying to appear busy by taking some food out off the fridge, perhaps searching for the right words or trying to decide how to get to the point. But House already knows why he's there and is easily distracting him:
House: And you're checking up on me.
Wilson: You know you can talk to me .... Is that my laundry?
House: You ran out of socks for me to borrow. We got plenty of underwear though.
At first Wilson seems nonplussed; then he simply nods and accepts. So it seems they don't just share the same apartment and bedroom but also the same socks and underwear. House has regarded everything Wilson owns as theirs over the years anyway. His food, his money, his office. Now that he's moved in with Wilson this is just extended to his apartment and everything within, including his clothes (they're so married, as HL likes to point out, like an old couple in all aspects).
Why doesn’t House talk to Wilson in that scene? Does he think that Wilson needs more than words to believe him? Or is it because he's come dangerously close to relapsing into taking Vicodin again that very morning and revealing it might lead to (more) disappointment? Maybe that's also the reason why he doesn't admit having solved the case of Foreman's patient either. After all he's trying to change old habits and he doesn't seem to be doing well in that department.
When Wilson arrives, House is still euphoric about having solved the case by only a few naked facts someone posted on the Internet and without having needed a team for it. His pain is gone and perhaps he fears that Wilson might destroy his newly-won satisfaction. He swings between his old habits and new resolves and he is not ready for a fight yet.
And it's telling the truth for both of them when House sings: "You always hurt the one you love" while walking with barely a limp. Wilson's gaze follows him, not sure what to think, but then he noticed the left behind cane, thinks too much and comes to the wrong conclusion since he doesn't know what has been going on in his absence.
The following manipulation of the toilet and House’s stunt with the dog's urine are just so typical of both of them: House knows the way Wilson thinks and beats him in his own game, though this time he doesn't seem to enjoy messing with him as much as he used to. All in all, the scene is surprisingly serious. In the end nobody but House himself has the power to decide whether or not to relapse into old habits and taking Vicodin again. That is something Wilson cannot control or do for him, no matter how much he wants to.
When Wilson and Cuddy confront House because they think he's using again, he tells her in plain language that he wants her gone: "You've got no reason to be here! He's the one who's been jerking around."
The whole issue is a private call between him and Wilson-Cuddy shouldn't have been there at all. He's disappointed that Wilson doesn’t trust him and that he hasn't even tried to talk to him ("How about asking me?") before jumping to conclusions and doing what he usually does: manipulating to catch House red-handed, assuming he won't tell the truth anyway. But House has changed in that regard, or tries very hard to, and he needs Wilson to realize that (though to be fair it's probably not easy for Wilson to do so given the fact that House lied to him again just the day before and has done so countless times in the past). That's why House doesn't even look at Cuddy during the whole scene but keeps his eyes on Wilson all the time.
Cuddy's attempt to make House realize he is an addict, who can't be trusted, is unnecessary and doubtlessly offending in a moment which is all about restoring Wilson's trust in him. She says Wilson dragged her along, so he is to blame for her presence, and Cuddy's right here: she should've been left out completely.
Since House can't talk to Wilson anyway thanks to Cuddy's unwanted presence and verbal interference, he decides to walk the talk and pees into Wilson's cup, which effectively and rather symbolically ends the conversation.
Later House confesses to Nolan what he's really done that helped with his pain. We liked seeing him talk to Nolan about his problems and the calm and reassuring way Nolan reacts.
Nolan: You can’t sit all day in a room by yourself. Isolation fosters depression.
House: The hospital is part of my old life. If I go back, I might become who I was before, pills and all that.
Wilson is part of House's old life, too, of course. A very important part. Yet neither House nor Nolan think that being with him might be harmful or make him return to unhealthy habits. Wilson is completely safe for House. That's why he can move in and live with him. In one bedroom. With shared socks and underwear.
Nolan's final musings about House not returning to the diagnostics department at PPTH might be worse than returning, reminded us that in "Broken" House's real problems were barely addressed at all. And now it's confirmed that it's not his professional but his private life that needs a change. All of it, but Wilson.
The quintessence seems to be: House is a genius, and his brain needs constant challenge. This cannot be changed, only channelled into less destructive paths. What has to be addressed, however, are his emotional needs, the needs of his heart. Moving in with Wilson definitely is a step into the right direction.
***
"Epic Fail"
or
Of Epic friendship and the Fail of the sorry rest
An analysis by Micki E. Wilson & luridlurker
Being released from Mayfield, House seems to be determined to change his life. This time, for the first time, he takes it seriously and starts with quitting his job: "I need to change my environment, my habits."
Cuddy: House, are you okay?
House: Yeah, and I wanna stay that way.
Change is bad had always been his doctrine-but now he doesn't shy away from a drastic change in his career by applying for a position in research to reduce the stress. But perhaps more surprising is hearing him say he's sorry for his fellows who might lose their jobs or be forced to accept different positions as a consequence of his quitting his job.
In the wake of this we interestingly get to see that his office and conference room have been mothballed, waiting for his return from his leave of absence. Foreman must have been impatient for months to get it going again, obviously hoping House would never return. His glee when he sits down in House's chair is an ugly thing to see.
Before quitting his Job, House has already made another step to change his old habits. He didn't return to his own apartment but-as suggested by Nolan-moved in with Wilson instead.
Addicts aren't supposed to return to the environment that prompted or encouraged their addiction, which is an important step to prevent them from relapsing. House knows this, Wilson knows this, and perhaps he had known all along that House would never return to his apartment. And that is perhaps why he did not keep it clean in his absence, or even more: he wanted it to look as uninviting and unappealing as possible so House wouldn't even think about spending more time there than absolutely necessary (they definitely cheated us out on that important talk between them! There's at least a whole episode missing!).
When House later on does return to his apartment, the impact is great, seeing him step into that dark, colorless, lifeless place of stagnant air and stagnant time. No electricity, dust on all surfaces: That is no place to live in anymore.
His apartment represents his past he has left behind-especially hammered down when he gets his secret stash of Vicodin. While House holds the vial in his hand, one can literally see the thoughts racing though his brain. Will he have gone through everything for nothing; will his resolves hold against the return of the pain?
House, being jobless, has too much time at his hands now. His old hobbies of playing poker, playing the guitar and the piano, or bowling are considered lame, new ones he can't think up. Nolan suggests trying something new, something Wilson likes to do in his free time, something he could do together with him, something that would make House a more active part of his life. The cooking class also explains why Wilson knows how to cook, though he seems to have to work a little harder for it than House, whose ability to see patterns and similarities (here between cooking and chemistry) surfaces right away which is making him an incredible cook.
The cooking scene is absolutely hilarious. Two men in aprons, in partner look at that, joking about balls smoking, balls rolling and keeping an open mind doing so, blue balls and saved balls. Them thinking the other's thoughts and feeling good with it-their balls are safe with each other. They're just so cute to watch when so much in tune.
House even makes friends with a woman form the cooking class and he obviously speaks Mandarin quite well-along with several other languages, as we know. By the way, I loved the hooker comment when Cuddy appears in the kitchen though that time she is dressed rather decently. In contrast to her usual, much more revealing outfits, which are utterly inappropriate for a business woman who wants to be taken seriously.
Cuddy is not the reason why House chooses to leave the hospital, and she is definitely not the reason why he decides to return to the diagnostics department in the end either. In the past months and also right now, when he does the first steps to re-invent his whole life, she was and is no part of it so far.
What she can't comprehend yet and what everybody seemed to regard as impossible has happened: House has changed. He starts to talk to people, and when he opens up, his voice becomes soft and serious. One very early morning House tells Wilson (an adorably sleepy and tousled Wilson who speaks in a voice rough from lack of use) that his leg has troubled him and that it was either cooking that night, or doing something stupid out on the streets.
They make eye contact, absolute truth between them. And Wilson readily takes a taste of the ragout again that House had cooked half of the night, and suddenly it's more than just a well-cooked sauce: "Good choice! So, so good!" And it's not just the food he's talking about here.
It's so typical House to use syringes for cooking. And he gives Thirteen relationship advice, proving once again that he does know what's going on in his absence, that he's got Foreman's personality down to a tee and that he is also well able to analyze relationships and their dynamics. And maybe for the first time in his life he advises somebody to give in to be happier. Which is essentially what he is trying to do himself as well.
Without much thought he reveals to Thirteen that his leg hurts again and he realizes that cooking was fine for a week but won't work any longer. Cooking helped a while to take his mind off things, but once he's mastered the art of preparing a challenging dish like a master chef, once he's had it down pat, it becomes boring and loses its appeal, which is also why none of his other hobbies would (and never did) work either.
Obviously House doesn't get much sleep with his brain and leg refusing to shut up. When Wilson leaves home to get to work at eight in the morning, House is watching substandard TV, a marathon of "The biggest Loser", while stuffing himself with ice-cream: "I pretend they can see me eating!" That is the old House everybody loves. But it's also the old House coming out of hiding again, on his first step to relapse.
To his credit, Wilson realizes right away that House has given up on cooking. And in this newly beginning spiral of failing, disappointment and depression House turns to old strategies and habits: deflecting by lying when he's speaking about his leg ("It's fine"). Wilson catches the lie, he knows House too well to be deceived this easily. But it might be only a lapse for when House later talks to Nolan he confesses right away that his leg is "killing" him. He even admits being worried and getting worked up about the pain and the fear that nothing might help against it, which once more has made it worse and worse. The fear to end up in a "very dark place". Again.
That Wilson hasn't believed everything is fine is shown when he unexpectedly returns home for lunch. He's been worried about House and has given in to his need to check up on him, obviously not able to wait until his regular work day is over. At first he's trying to appear busy by taking some food out off the fridge, perhaps searching for the right words or trying to decide how to get to the point. But House already knows why he's there and is easily distracting him:
House: And you're checking up on me.
Wilson: You know you can talk to me .... Is that my laundry?
House: You ran out of socks for me to borrow. We got plenty of underwear though.
At first Wilson seems nonplussed; then he simply nods and accepts. So it seems they don't just share the same apartment and bedroom but also the same socks and underwear. House has regarded everything Wilson owns as theirs over the years anyway. His food, his money, his office. Now that he's moved in with Wilson this is just extended to his apartment and everything within, including his clothes (they're so married, as HL likes to point out, like an old couple in all aspects).
Why doesn’t House talk to Wilson in that scene? Does he think that Wilson needs more than words to believe him? Or is it because he's come dangerously close to relapsing into taking Vicodin again that very morning and revealing it might lead to (more) disappointment? Maybe that's also the reason why he doesn't admit having solved the case of Foreman's patient either. After all he's trying to change old habits and he doesn't seem to be doing well in that department.
When Wilson arrives, House is still euphoric about having solved the case by only a few naked facts someone posted on the Internet and without having needed a team for it. His pain is gone and perhaps he fears that Wilson might destroy his newly-won satisfaction. He swings between his old habits and new resolves and he is not ready for a fight yet.
And it's telling the truth for both of them when House sings: "You always hurt the one you love" while walking with barely a limp. Wilson's gaze follows him, not sure what to think, but then he noticed the left behind cane, thinks too much and comes to the wrong conclusion since he doesn't know what has been going on in his absence.
The following manipulation of the toilet and House’s stunt with the dog's urine are just so typical of both of them: House knows the way Wilson thinks and beats him in his own game, though this time he doesn't seem to enjoy messing with him as much as he used to. All in all, the scene is surprisingly serious. In the end nobody but House himself has the power to decide whether or not to relapse into old habits and taking Vicodin again. That is something Wilson cannot control or do for him, no matter how much he wants to.
When Wilson and Cuddy confront House because they think he's using again, he tells her in plain language that he wants her gone: "You've got no reason to be here! He's the one who's been jerking around."
The whole issue is a private call between him and Wilson-Cuddy shouldn't have been there at all. He's disappointed that Wilson doesn’t trust him and that he hasn't even tried to talk to him ("How about asking me?") before jumping to conclusions and doing what he usually does: manipulating to catch House red-handed, assuming he won't tell the truth anyway. But House has changed in that regard, or tries very hard to, and he needs Wilson to realize that (though to be fair it's probably not easy for Wilson to do so given the fact that House lied to him again just the day before and has done so countless times in the past). That's why House doesn't even look at Cuddy during the whole scene but keeps his eyes on Wilson all the time.
Cuddy's attempt to make House realize he is an addict, who can't be trusted, is unnecessary and doubtlessly offending in a moment which is all about restoring Wilson's trust in him. She says Wilson dragged her along, so he is to blame for her presence, and Cuddy's right here: she should've been left out completely.
Since House can't talk to Wilson anyway thanks to Cuddy's unwanted presence and verbal interference, he decides to walk the talk and pees into Wilson's cup, which effectively and rather symbolically ends the conversation.
Later House confesses to Nolan what he's really done that helped with his pain. We liked seeing him talk to Nolan about his problems and the calm and reassuring way Nolan reacts.
Nolan: You can’t sit all day in a room by yourself. Isolation fosters depression.
House: The hospital is part of my old life. If I go back, I might become who I was before, pills and all that.
Wilson is part of House's old life, too, of course. A very important part. Yet neither House nor Nolan think that being with him might be harmful or make him return to unhealthy habits. Wilson is completely safe for House. That's why he can move in and live with him. In one bedroom. With shared socks and underwear.
Nolan's final musings about House not returning to the diagnostics department at PPTH might be worse than returning, reminded us that in "Broken" House's real problems were barely addressed at all. And now it's confirmed that it's not his professional but his private life that needs a change. All of it, but Wilson.
The quintessence seems to be: House is a genius, and his brain needs constant challenge. This cannot be changed, only channelled into less destructive paths. What has to be addressed, however, are his emotional needs, the needs of his heart. Moving in with Wilson definitely is a step into the right direction.
***