Analysis: "Baggage"
Actually, everybody adores Nolan in "Baggage" and thinks he was terrific in that episode...Well, we don't.
Analysis of
"Baggage"
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Why House's therapy eventually fails
House has been in therapy for a whole year, without missing a single session or ever arriving too late, which alone is pretty remarkable for him, given his well-known problems with authorities and following rules. It shows how seriously he has taken Psychiatrist Dr. Nolan's advice and suggestions, how deeply he has believed in a possible change and how much he has wanted it to happen.
This time he arrives with a lot of baggage with his life, dreams and hopes for the future shattered and everything gained so far at stake, and he needs advice and help more than ever. But Nolan acts as if he lacks any deeper insight into House's complex personality, which gives the whole session an impersonal feel. When asking why House wanted to get the things that Alvie sold to buy paint and other decorating supplies back, willing to pay five times of what they are worth. Of course, he wants to get his belongings back. After all, House absolutely hates change, and the things he has acquired over the years hold meaning for him; they carry a certain history. (And no, it's not just because one of the books House wanted to get back was written by Cuddy's great-great grandfather. House is simply being House.)
When everything else falls apart around House, material things can at least provide a feeling of stability and identity. Obviously, Nolan hasn't realized yet that House is very possessive and protective of the things and people he loves, especially when he's in danger of losing them. His facial expression and voice when he questions House's motifs, illustrate that he is not just trying to trick House into talking some more about it; he truly doesn't get it. Later he asks questions about Wilson that one might expect at the beginning of a therapy, certainly not after a whole year of regular sessions. Why doesn't Nolan know about Cuddy and Lucas? That they're moving in together is hardly worldshaking news. That was to be expected since even before Wilson bought the loft. (What on earth were they talking about during House's therapy sessions if not about what matters most in his case?)
It seems as if Nolan doesn't have a clue what kind of person House really is. At least the genuine connection they shared while House was in Mayfield is gone. Perhaps House is nobody special for him anymore, just one difficult patient among countless others, which might be a professional attitude but isn't helping here at all.
House turns to Nolan in this difficult time, displaying rare trust and giving him the chance to help, to offer comfort, to shed light on the whole mess so that he might find a better solution than turning to alcohol and drugs again. But the connection between them isn't as deep as it used to be anymore, Nolan's grasp of House's deperation not extensive enough to be able to make him see an out that would work for House. At the end his cry for help remains unanswered.
The way House looks when entering Nolan’s office-utterly broken and devastated-should have set off the psychiatrist's alarm bells right away, but Nolan appears rather oblivious and wonders if it’s stress-related, without immediately realizing it’s relationship related stress. Wasn’t that the whole point of this therapy? To help House connect with people, to trust in people? Referring to Wilson and House’s eviction from the loft, Nolan is on the right track: Finally House really loses it, shouting, "It's not about Wilson!" -- And then, very quietly, "Say it." As if expecting to hear from the psychiatrist what he has already known for a very long time: that his feelings go far beyond friendship and that he is in love with his best friend.
Instead of jumping at the chance and allowing House to share a very private realization he can’t talk about with anybody else, Nolan just chuckles mysteriously and keeps his thoughts to himself, claiming not wanting to say anything. So the chance is lost. Nolan's reaction doesn’t make any sense, since he certainly notices that he’s hit a nerve, that he got under House’s skin, that he has all the source of House’s increased "stress" and misery right there. For House having lost Wilson to Sam, even if temporarily, is like a barely closed wound in danger of being ripped open as soon as it is touched, and he hesitates to reveal how much it truly hurts and destroys him by raising his defence mechanisms and signalling Nolan in a no-nonsense way to back off.
At one point House asks whether a therapy wasn't supposed to be "nurturing," allowing his need for some kind of comfort to seep through, but Nolan--oblivious to House's emotional state--explains it's nowhere in the book. Maybe not. But his poking around and forcing House to confront the harsh reality of his failed relationship with Wilson and more or less any other even marginally meaningful relationship he has had--something he can barely take at the moment--brings him dangerously close to losing the tiny bit of hope he still has for himself. It's bad enough having to live through it, but putting it into words makes his loss even more real, tangible. Their problem is indeed a lack of synchronicity: When listening to House talk about the POTW Sydney and her husband, Nolan analyses that they’re not on the same page, because her husband is so afraid that he might lose his wife that he tries too hard. He says that it’s the same with him and House, but doesn’t realize that he is coming on too strong, too, by pushing into the wrong direction and not helping either.
Presently his job is all that is still working for House. Everything else seems lost. Denying him this little escape by pretending not to pay attention to him any longer to make him talk about himself and not his job, Nolan pulls the rug from under House completely. He doesn't allow him to regain some kind of stability and reassurance in his work or to find his own pace and carefully leading him through his intense struggle.
Commenting on the bruise on House's arm, which suspiciously looks like a boot print, Nolan touches a sore spot and stops him from leaving his office. And then House starts to talk without fleeing into metaphors and hiding behind the patient's case or Alvie's (un)welcome visit. In a broken, soft voice he reveals that he's got mindlessly drunk--so drunk that he’s got no conscious memory of what happened that evening after he'd left his apartment, likely to find more booze. He supposes he was kicked while he was on the ground, for pissing somebody off by saying the wrong things at the wrong time--as usual.
Nolan's first assumption is that House must've screwed up and decided to need punishment for that by provoking somebody or at least actively looking for trouble, either for something he has or hasn’t done. It doesn't even occur to him that House might have had another reason to want to drown his sorrow in alcohol, that for once it might not have been his own fault and he was the one who got screwed, which is why House is slightly taken aback. He doesn’t seem to know what he might have done wrong, why he has lost everybody who was and is important to him. Wilson is gone. Cuddy is in the past. Alvie, who was not exactly a suitable sounding board but at least a welcome distraction, left as well. This time House is completely alone, an outsider in a world of couples, left by everybody he cares for, one way or another, and he cannot cope with that. But instead of getting to the root of the real problem, Nolan suggests it might be all about Cuddy. No, it isn't. There certainly was enough time to freak out over her getting together with Lucas, but House didn't and he even calmly tries to make Nolan realize that she is not what all of it is about. While he still cares for her, he has accepted that she's seriously involved with somebody else by now, and he's moved on. What lingers, though, is the feeling of not having been enough.
However, up to now his plans for the future have included spending his life with Wilson. That is the dream that has recently been shattered, what pushed him over the edge. Wilson who has always been a constant in his life, no matter what he said or how much of a jerk he was, told him to leave his home. Momentarily Sam's and House's positions are reversed: Wilson clearly puts her first. But House, convinced that it won't last anyway since Wilson simply falls back into the same routine that has brought them apart 19 years ago and seems to follow his regular pattern (dating, moving in together, getting married, hating his everyday life, cheating/getting cheated on, divorce), hopes Wilson will ask him to return. In fact, in a way their life hat just been like that, too: Dating for 19 years, moving in together twice, realizing it's not working the first time and that it's not enough the second time, Wilson started cheating on House, and it ended in separation. The difference between Wilson's failed relationships with women and the one with House is that he always keeps coming back to him at the end. And House cannot envision another future for himself, recent events notwithstanding. For him it is--and has been for a very long time--Wilson and he is willing to wait, no matter how long it might take. But as Nolan says, unintentionally hitting home, Wilson has already sort of left him, at least he won't be around as much as before, he won't be exclusively his for an undefined time.
Reliving the brief conversation with Wilson when he'd tried to talk House into returning to the loft, explaining it was all kind of hasty to tell him to pack and that it's certainly not a good idea for House to be completely on his own, House is hurt and angry. It doesn't seem like a genuine offer, but just born out of guilt because Wilson and Cuddy talked behind his back again, to decide about his life, yet without giving him a chance to be a part in their lives as well anymore. For him the situation is clear: Both of them want to live happily with their loved ones, and he is the source of irritation that has to be taken care of, the "House-problem" that has to be solved. Otherwise he might spoil their bliss. He doesn't believe in kindness or Wilson's displayed concern and affection for himself, though it wouldn't be unusual for Wilson to say something first and realize later that he made a mistake as Nolan suggests. The psychiatrist's scenario differs from House's and presents Cuddy as clearly uninterested and bored, while Wilson beats himself up over his own behavior, getting more and more agitated about the whole thing. Eventually House cannot stand it anymore and interrupts. Maybe it hurts too much to even think about Wilson concerned and caring about him, not just occupied with Sam and blind for anything else. It might be what he secretly wishes for. When Nolan ends his little tale, he and fantasy Wilson are looking directly into each others eyes. (Cuddy gazes to the side--which means that there is no connection between them on a deeper level anymore; besides, House seems to be fine with Nolan's interpretation of her stance over the issue. It's just the way he characterizes Wilson that he rejects at that moment).
Despite his anger, disappointment and growing despair House cannot stand to hear Nolan talk badly about Wilson. On the one hand, he needs to make Nolan understand his true feelings, to allow him to see his pain and the way he regards the whole situation to enable the psychiatrist to say something useful. On the other hand he defends Wilson from Nolan's critical attitude, not wanting Nolan to think he's not worth it anyway or that House could possibly do better without him. As soon as even the suggestion is there, House immediately switches into defense-mode, explaining that for him Wilson is not a "consolation prize," implying that he is all House has ever wanted. And so far Wilson has always been the one who stayed. Until now. And *that* is what throws him, what shreds his world to pieces.
In the past House could always blame his addiction to Vicodin for being a jerk. Wilson has still always remained at his side, which is something House values about him. As long as Wilson was with him, he could do anything, struggle through pain and mistrust, defy the world and his inner demons; he could believe in his own ability to change. What Wilson hasn't realized, though, is that it all comes and falls with him. House is not doing any of this just for himself. He's also been doing it for Wilson. And because he believed in their future, something Wilson seemed to agree on when buying the loft for both of them and giving House the organ as a present not too long ago. And now Wilson is gone, and House's physical pain is increasing again, mirroring the unbearable pain and sorrow inside.
At the end all that remains is House’s complete failure as a human being-despite all his efforts, despite his change. Nobody wants him. Not his father, not Stacy, not Cuddy. Not Wilson. Not even Alvie, a person who worships the ground he walks on. His life has become meaningless. It doesn’t matter whether he becomes an alcoholic, whether he takes Vicodin again. At least drugs can make him forget his miserable life for a couple of hours, and yet Nolan doesn't realize in how much danger his patient is but completely underestimates the seriousness of the situation.
Maybe House really wanted to get hurt, to get punished when he got drunk to feel the pain as much outside as he feels it from the inside. It's possible he secretly does blame himself for what has happened. But once again Nolan loses track of House's personality and doesn’t think further. Self-inflicted pain is the result of feeling powerless, isolated, alienated and alone. It screams of severe trust issues and a low self-esteem. For House getting hurt provided a distraction, a short relief from the unbearable emotional anguish he is experiencing. He’s lost his place in Wilson’s heart, in Wilson’s condo and perhaps even in his life to a woman he doesn’t trust at all.
However, at the end the physical pain couldn't erase the emotional one, which runs much deeper and is much more essential. Looking wounded, broken and completely defenceless, House leaves shortly after Nolan comes to the (not exactly surprising) conclusion that it's all about relationships, acting as if he’s found the Holy Grail the moment House mentions that Cuddy and Lucas are moving in together. Of course it’s all about relationships. It has been about nothing else, the pain in his ruined leg and his (mental) addiction to Vicodin from the very beginning. (Again: What have they talked about and worked on the past year?)
The real crux is, though, that everybody aside from House, who’s so desperately wanted to lead a happier life, who’s worked hard to change, is happy and looking forward to a bright future. He’s come to terms with the fact that Cuddy and Lucas are in love a long time ago. That’s not the point. The point is everybody else seems to be happily involved with someone, moving in together, spending their lives together, building up a future together: Wilson & Sam, Cuddy & Lucas, Alvie and his cousin. The only one that is left, unwanted, alone, lost, even though having done nothing wrong and having followed everything Nolan suggested and adviced, is House. And the reality of that comes crushing down on him, destroying every hard-earned success in the blink of an eye, making him realize that he's lost everything, that there's nothing else worth fighting for--it's over.
When House leaves Nolan's therapy for good, it’s pouring outside, illustrating his dark mood and utter hopelessness. Trusting more in people was supposed to make him happier in the long run, but all it accomplished was taking away his defence mechanisms and opening him for even more pain. Changing didn't make his life less miserable, it stole away the only person that truly mattered. And as before all that remains is booze, Vicodin and losing himself in his work as if there has never been anything else worth living for.