Found while cleaning the apartment:
Superheroes Gym Rules (written by me about five years ago)
1. No flying in the free weights room.
2. The mens' and womens' locker room walls are lined with lead. Please do not attempt to use x-ray vision to see through them.
3. Additionally, use of mental powers or invisibility to sneak into the incorrect locker room, even if not in your body at the time, will result in expulsion from the facility upon discovery.
4. Flying is permitted in the sports room; however, please remember that the use of flying in actual competitive sports is unethical, and frowned on by the management.
5. Although competition is natural and healthy in a fitness environment, the management requests that on those occasions when a large piece of exercise equipment is lifted, it be returned to its original position carefully, preferably also without damaging the client currently using the machine.
6. While shapechanges, flammability, or other physical reactions of the body may occur in an uncontrollable manner from time to time, through no fault of the client, any destruction of gym property while in an altered state will be billed to those parties responsible.
Truth
Know only this, my love:
I love you more with every passing breath;
Each moment you are near, my soul takes flight;
Each moment you are far is like a death.
Believe but this, my heart:
Your soul is tightly woven to my soul;
My every heartbeat echoes with your name;
Only in your presence am I whole.
Trust nothing else, my life:
My heart is yours, if near to me or far;
Though death stood in my way, I'd come to you;
I'm in your heart, no matter where you are.
Unrelatedly, the same notebook has the cell phone number of my ex-fiance. I think I'm shredding that page, in order to resist the temptation to call it.
1. No flying in the free weights room.
2. The mens' and womens' locker room walls are lined with lead. Please do not attempt to use x-ray vision to see through them.
3. Additionally, use of mental powers or invisibility to sneak into the incorrect locker room, even if not in your body at the time, will result in expulsion from the facility upon discovery.
4. Flying is permitted in the sports room; however, please remember that the use of flying in actual competitive sports is unethical, and frowned on by the management.
5. Although competition is natural and healthy in a fitness environment, the management requests that on those occasions when a large piece of exercise equipment is lifted, it be returned to its original position carefully, preferably also without damaging the client currently using the machine.
6. While shapechanges, flammability, or other physical reactions of the body may occur in an uncontrollable manner from time to time, through no fault of the client, any destruction of gym property while in an altered state will be billed to those parties responsible.
Truth
Know only this, my love:
I love you more with every passing breath;
Each moment you are near, my soul takes flight;
Each moment you are far is like a death.
Believe but this, my heart:
Your soul is tightly woven to my soul;
My every heartbeat echoes with your name;
Only in your presence am I whole.
Trust nothing else, my life:
My heart is yours, if near to me or far;
Though death stood in my way, I'd come to you;
I'm in your heart, no matter where you are.
Unrelatedly, the same notebook has the cell phone number of my ex-fiance. I think I'm shredding that page, in order to resist the temptation to call it.