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i dont know anymore. everything just kinda keeps coming unglued. i think everything going to get better and then it just comes and fucks itself up. sometimes i wonder if its worth living thru all of this shit. when i have the whisper of a 44 magnum saying do it, stop being so weak. because i think a person who can kill themselves is very strong.
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and cody of course its worth living through. everything happens happens for a reason, and it will all work out in the end. just try to be a good person, and when things get you down, look up, smile, and dont bother with it.
it does take a strong person to kill themselves, a very selfish person. i've thought about it several times, but then i have had two friends who have done it already, and then i think about all the people who would hurt if i did it, all the other people who would suffer, as i suffered, and i turn the idea away. think about that, and dont say no one would care, you know way better than that..you have tons of people who care about you, even me, who rarely gets a chance to even say hi.
but anyway enough of that, BE HAPPY CODY.
bye byes,
Erika
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