Comments | luttie: WIP - Wing's and Tail 1\15

luttie

WIP - Wing's and Tail 1\15 - H\D NC-17

Mar 05, 2007 20:57

Well, after a long wait, here is anther one of my fic's. Thi's one is even a novel length, Yey My! LOL
Anyway, heres the first chapter. it's a W.I.P but so far it's going quite well and I have almost all the second chapter as well. =D

title: Wings and tail.
Disclaimer: I'm the queen of the world, so everything is MINE!!! ~evil laughter~. Not really ( Read more... )

h\d fic's, fic, h\d, wing's and tail, wip

Comments 26

ladybelz March 5 2007, 21:57:15 UTC

You may want to check your coding...your lj cut isn't working and this entry is taking up space on my friends page.

luttie March 5 2007, 22:10:36 UTC

Yeah, Sorry, I was working on it. it just didn't want to listen to me! Sorry again, I fixed it now [or last it shows me that it did]

made just 4 U triospleasure March 6 2007, 00:22:03 UTC

I liked it!

I really liked it!

The flower you requested

( ... )

Re: made just 4 U luttie March 6 2007, 00:36:17 UTC

Thank you. I'm so happy you liked it! ^^

Oh. Ahm. I think you confused me with someone else. I didnt requested a flower. It's beautiful, but I didn't requested it [or did I just didn't understand something?]

Re: made just 4 U triospleasure March 6 2007, 03:07:44 UTC

your thingie says"give me a flower....

so I did.....;)

Re: made just 4 U luttie March 6 2007, 07:09:11 UTC

Oh, That request!!!! Sorry I was sleepy when I read you common.

Thank you so mach for it!!!! It's really beautiful! ~Grin~

love_angel7 March 6 2007, 01:54:26 UTC

I like it so far. Can't wait to find out what happens next!
*hugs*

luttie March 6 2007, 07:27:38 UTC

Oh... What's Happen next ~an evil grin~

So happy you liked it! ^__^

animeartistjo March 6 2007, 02:45:05 UTC

The story itself was awesome--loved the summary, but the actual writing could use a little more fine tuning. Some more sentence variety, perhaps? Also, linking some of the shorter sentences together would make reading much more smooth. The vice versa applies to some of your longer sentences; I think there were a few run-ons.

The parenthesis are unnecessary. Just have the sentence there, lots of authors do.

Might want to have another closer look at the punctuation, too, btw.

Look forward to seeing chapter two!

luttie March 6 2007, 07:32:43 UTC

Thank you for the helpful comment! I can't go through this chapter right know [Then I'll never be able to finish the second chapter! lol] but I promise to come back to it and do that! ^.^

aquila_star March 6 2007, 03:18:29 UTC

Nice. This is intriguing so far, and I like the way you write.

Looking forward to more.

luttie March 6 2007, 07:35:35 UTC

~blush~ Thank you. That was the most complimented thing anyone ever told me. =D