Don't Look Down (page 10)
(back to page 9: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/58656.html)
***
Gordon slept right through the morning and only began to stir a little after lunchtime, his head was a little achy but he’d be alright. Sitting up slowly, he puzzled as to his whereabouts for a moment before remembering what had happened and sighing with regret once more.
“Coffee?” David stood by the door, looking in at him.
“Normally no,” Gordon answered him, “but I’ll take it today.. Thank you.”
David wandered over and handed him the beverage, seating himself on the edge of the bed.
“This needs to stop,” David told him gently. Gordon nodded without a word, he knew it did. David was well aware of how easy it was to cheat, how susceptible one became while intoxicated, drinking made David lose a lot of friends and he’d quit doing it for that very reason. In an ideal world, Gordon would learn from David’s mistakes but he was making his own and finding out the hard way.
“How mad was she?” David wondered. He had not been there when Krista found out, but he drew his own conclusions when he’d found Gordon in front of a hotel, no car keys or car, passed out and disheveled. It wasn’t a difficult guess from there, but his tone was soft and not scolding, genuine concern in his expression now.
“Not as mad as she could have been,” Gordon sat up to drink the coffee slowly, “she didn’t scream or hit me or anything.”
David pursed his lips.
“Son, that’s where you’re wrong,” David told him, “silent anger is by far the worst kind, you need to let her calm down before you go home.”
Gordon leaned back into the pillows, but he couldn’t wait.
“I have to go to her,” Gordon insisted, “she said I’ve lost her and the kids, what if I get back and they’ve all gone by now?”
David gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“I’ll drive you home then,” David offered, standing to his feet, “shall I stay?”
“No, thank you,” Gordon offered him a grateful smile, “you’ve done so much already, I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” David smiled at him encouragingly, “you know I will always be there for you.”
He meant it and Gordon knew this, but right now it was better to face the music as soon as possible and get it over with. David stood up and left him to it, eventually dropping him off at his home about an hour later with the instruction to call if he needed anything. Gordon felt a lot better for having such support behind him, now he had to try and fix things before Krista packed her bags. She was easily his biggest motivation in life, the desire to keep things running smoothly was all for her benefit and afterwards, this included the children as well.
As he walked into the living room, he saw nobody home except Krista. She had asked Justine to take Savannah and little David to the zoo for a few hours after lunch, so now it was just herself and Gordon. She stood up to greet him with a disappointed frown, struggling with herself not to slap him, or hug him tightly. Her emotions were so conflicted, how deeply she loved him and wanted to hold him tight, but he’d done something wrong and needed to show her that he was truly apologetic. She needed to know and be convinced that this wouldn’t happen again, she couldn’t live like this, never knowing, always wondering..
Gordon was shaking, Krista knew that he thought she’d already packed the children’s things and sent them to her parent’s house with Justine and she wasn’t going to tell him any differently until she knew he was really sorry for what he had done.
“You’re back,” Krista placed her hands upon her hips, “I was just about to grab my bag and go.”
A dangerous move, threatening him with his worst nightmare.
“Can we talk about this?” Gordon tried.
“There’s nothing to say,” Krista spoke firmly.
“How can we sort this out if you won’t talk to me?” Gordon asked her.
Krista looked at him fiercely and his gaze averted, how strange this must look to anyone else, she was so much smaller in stature than him and yet she was easily the most aggressive one in this moment.
“I made a mistake,” Gordon met with her gaze now, “I was angry, I wasn’t thinking.. I didn’t mean to stay for that long. One drink, that’s all but.. I got sidetracked and I let it happen. I’m sorry, Krista. Please.. I am begging you, don’t leave me.”
She widened her eyes as he followed up his words with the submissive gesture of slowly sinking to his knees, his head lowered and eyes downcast. It made her feel very powerful, she held all of the cards here, but in what way should she use them?
Krista placed her hand under Gordon’s chin and he lifted his gaze to meet with hers, staring up at her with his big sapphire eyes. She slowly knelt down in front of him and stroked one side of his face, sighing with defeat.
“This ends now,” she said firmly, “and you stop drinking anything stronger than wine or champagne, got it?”
He nodded slowly, taking in her words and absorbing the ferocity with which it was being delivered, Krista was making sure he understood what was at risk here.
“If you ever do it again,” she told him, “it’s over.”
She stood up and walked around him, unable to be near him because he looked so broken and sad that she wanted to cuddle and comfort him. It was important that he felt the pain and the loss, she couldn’t simply give in completely to him or he’d just go off and do it again somewhere else. It was times such as these that she wished she were wiser, she didn’t know what to do next. What if she was pushing him away? She sat on her bed and reflected on these past few weeks, just mulling over every single detail and slowly coming to the realization that she’d been pretty difficult to live with since their son had been born. She’d snapped at Gordon so many times and yet he’d stuck by her throughout it all, fussing over her was his way of feeling useful and showing her that he loved her and she’d just cursed at him for his efforts. It was a bitter pill to swallow and a tough admission to make, but she felt that in some way, she was partially to blame as well. If Gordon ever treated her that way when she was trying to be helpful and caring, Krista knew she’d have been a lot more pissed off and vocal about it, throwing things at him and accusing him of being an asshole.
The fact that he’d never once got visually angry with her snippy temper made her feel guilty all over again, he was so much more understanding than her and she felt that yes, he’d made a mistake but was that really so bad? Everyone made mistakes, he was clearly very sorry for what he’d done, but then she had another thought. She’d been flirted with by accident and she had really been flattered by the gesture, if David hadn’t caught himself and left the room, would she have let him seduce her if he’d continued? She did find him attractive and he was really a very kind hearted, generous man but he’d not ever cheat on Iman, not in a million years. Her question was of her own response, she’d blushed and smiled instead of removing herself from the situation or asking him politely to stop. She came to the conclusion that this wasn’t premeditated, it was just a mistake as he’d said, so she really was willing to forgive him after all. But how soon was too soon? Would he learn if she went running back to him right now, the way she wanted to? Iman had once told her to trust her gut, if it felt right then she should act upon it.
Krista decided to take that advice and she got up off the bed to go and find out where Gordon had got to by now. She stopped short in the doorway of the living room, her gaze dropping to the floor where he lay, curled up and softly sobbing to himself. It brought stinging tears to her eyes at once, this wasn’t how she’d meant for him to react. Iman had also told her that it was more important to build your partner up, rather than tear them down and break them because if their confidence was lost, a downward spiral was going to become the next problem they would face. Her power trip was over, she wasn’t going to let him suffer any longer and she knelt down by his side, accepting him into her arms when he noticed her there and holding him tightly.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, feeling her own tears warmly streaking down her cheeks, “I’m still here, it’s alright.. “
She realized the truth of Iman’s words in that moment, it’d been so easy to tear him apart, like squeezing toothpaste right out of the tube but now she had to try and fix it, put the toothpaste back into the tube, so to speak. That was going to be difficult and she needed to be tactful about it, for it’d taken two years to finally see him relaxing into their secure relationship and now they’d be back to square one or worse. She hated what he’d done, but he’d suffered enough in her eyes and it was time to move on and get past it, one moment at a time. This isn’t how she wanted him to be, she didn’t want to be married to this broken figure, trembling in her arms and sobbing into her blouse. She wanted her husband back, the confident, cheeky, sometimes bashful and slightly arrogant bastard she’d fallen in love with. Bastard being a term of endearment in this context of course, she’d never use it against him as an expletive. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back reassuringly.
“I love you Gordon,” she told him, drawing him in tighter to herself, “nothing will ever change that.”
*
Over the next few weeks, Justine was disturbed at how subdued and quiet Gordon had become. He spoke to her only when she asked him a question and he hadn’t been intimate with her since his fight with Krista. She knew what had happened by now, so she understood his reasons for avoiding her but one day they found themselves alone for the first time in nearly a month after the incident. Krista had taken Savannah and little David over to the Bowie household for a playdate, David wasn’t home and Krista was keen to spend some time with Iman and the little ones.
Justine wandered out onto the back patio, watching Gordon in the pool as he swam several laps around it. She sat down to enjoy that toned, tanned, triathlon body and the cheeky speedos he so enjoyed wearing. It certainly brought a smile to any woman’s lips, herself especially but she was finding it hard not to strip down to her bikini and join him down there. When he was done, she stood up and walked over to him and passed him his towel. He was breathless and thanked her quickly, using it to pat himself dry and rub at his hair. She reached up to touch his face and he caught her wrist, warning her just once with his eyes.
“Have I done something wrong?” Justine wondered, aching to be touched and yearning for his kisses.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Gordon told her, “it’s over, Justine. I made a really big mistake and I’m not losing my family over this. It’s bad enough Krista caught me red handed, but just wait until she sees what’s cropped up in the bloody papers!”
Somehow, from somewhere, photos of him coaxing the girls into his car had only just recently leaked to the press. A short video online showed a snippet of his fallout with Krista, under the headlines of something about having his hand caught in the cookie jar. This was going to take a lot of time out of his schedule, as if Erica’s scandals weren’t bad enough! Justine followed Gordon back inside, snagging his arm.
“Baby.. The only mistake you made was getting caught!” Justine reassured him, “you and I? We’re more careful than that, remember? She’ll never know.. Come on.. “
She sidled up to him, stroking his cheek and looking him in the eyes. Gordon dropped the towel, embracing her and leaning down to make out with her for the first time in several weeks. She moaned noisily to excite and encourage him, enjoying his exploring hands and soft hums in response to the way she rubbed her body against his own. Laying in bed at night, his arms around Krista but with her back facing him, Gordon had been reluctant to initiate anything physical with his wife after that day. She had forgiven him so graciously, he felt undeserving and simply waited for her to feel that she was ready to be intimate again with him. It was not easy for her, feeling him pressed hard up against her body and it was even more difficult for him, he was just so eager for affection..
Justine loved being a bad influence on him, but she had also learned her lesson. By showing him that cheating was alright in her books, she’d inadvertently somehow pushed him to cheat with someone else besides herself. She was going to have to make it a little clearer that this was not okay, no matter how hypocritical it was. Gordon was still young and growing as a person, he was very much a bad boy in the public eye right now and that reputation was starting to get out of control, particularly in America. Shaking off the stigma that surrounded Hell’s Kitchen was next to impossible, a lot of people found him intimidating and scary nowadays. Even those older chefs, who Gordon had looked up to and subsequently been abused by, couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore for fear of his infamous temper. The only ones who dared to give him any cheek were those closest to him, his real friends and his family.
“Mmm, oh baby, it’s been a while huh?” Justine noticed his raging erection right away, although it’d be hard to miss in those tight, little speedos.
“Mmhmm,” came his muffled response as he kissed and sucked at her neck, eager for some affection and physical contact. Krista’s snubs were Justine’s reward, one that she would accept with both hands and never let go.
“You’ve been such a bad boy, Gordon,” Justine told him quietly, grasping his hair to make him pay attention.
“Ah!” Gordon gasped as she pulled his head to one side, exposing his throat to her.
“Such a naughty, naughty boy,” she cooed at him, smiling at his wincing expression, “you have such adorable eyes, do you know that?”
He grunted as she pulled him towards the stairs, her firm grip in his hair ensuring that he went along without resistance.
“Jus-Justine.. “ Gordon followed her upstairs, “ow, let go!”
“Oh no,” Justine responded with a wicked smile, “am I hurting you?”
“A little,” Gordon admitted.
“But you like it, right?” Justine asked quietly, leading him into her bedroom. He groaned in response, she knew him far too well to believe that he was actually bothered by the pain at all and only let go of his hair once he was seated upon the edge of her bed.
“Now,” Justine walked over to the door and locked it shut, stalking back towards him with a sultry sway to her hips, “what to do with such a bad, bad boy.. ?”
Gordon looked amused at first, not taking her seriously.
“What are you doing?” he asked her, standing up, “Krista could come home at any moment.. “
“Well then,” Justine grabbed his arm and pushed him back down onto the bed, “I guess you’d better just do as you’re told, because the more you resist, the longer it’ll take.”
Gordon looked up at her, his bewildered expression making her feel like going soft on him but she had to remind herself that he’d misbehaved. Big time.
“The longer.. what.. will take?” Gordon wondered quietly.
“Oh, I think you know, sweetie,” Justine responded playfully, enjoying his irked expression at being called such a thing. She suddenly moved without warning to slap him, hard - but he caught her wrist with hair-trigger reflexes. She stood, stunned as to how he could possibly have known what she was going to do.
“Get slapped often, do you?” she asked him boldly, but he did not answer her. Angrily, she grasped a fistful of his hair and pulled hard, jerking his head to one side and then she cried out as he suddenly had her pinned to the bed. She was on her back, he towered over her fiercely, clearly not as broken down by Krista’s attacking of him as she’d figured he would be. Tearing him down should have made him feel deserving of such a punishment as Justine was planning to give him, she couldn’t understand his display of dominance just now.
“What did you possibly think you could do to me?” Gordon asked her roughly. Justine gulped and whimpered as he bared his teeth and swore under his breath, tearing at her blouse and exposing her breasts. She wanted to chain him to the bed, down on his front and whip his ass until it nearly bled..
“Uh?” came his unique prompt.
“Alright!” Justine glared back up into his pale blue eyes, “I was going to own your ass! You fucking cheated on me you slut! I swear if you let me up for even a second, I’m going to smack you!”
He looked oddly apologetic for a moment, as if he’d only just realized that he hadn’t only hurt Krista but Justine as well.
“Oh yeah?” Gordon did not relay his thoughts to her, “do you honestly think you can hurt me, Justine?”
“I think I can, yeah,” Justine growled back at him, wrestling with him but he held her down firmly.
“Do you really want to hurt me, Justine?” he wondered. She fell silent, her glaring gaze met with his own and neither one of them backing down. Of course she didn’t, she simply felt hurt, angry and betrayed and the worst part of it was his indifference towards her since it’d happened.
“No,” she finally whispered. He let her up and they both sat back, looking at one another with growing arousal.
He was only wearing his speedos, sporting an erection and breathing heavily. Justine was stripped down to the waist, her breasts firm and pert due to being exposed to the cool air and she was trying not to drool over his body. How could she have thought to want to mark it? It was clear to her that only Krista could ever be so dominant towards him, he simply wouldn’t allow for anyone else to take such advantage of him. His confidence in himself and the pride he took in everything he did was so obvious since he’d met his wife, it was warming to see how far he had come. Krista had certainly helped to build him up to this level, she was just what he’d needed to get that boost up and he’d simply flourished from there. If anyone was going to physically punish him, it had to be her.
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone, either,” Gordon wanted her to know this, it was important to him that she heard it from him and that she understood where he was coming from. Justine nodded slowly, feeling somewhat validated by his revelation and damn, did his erection just get bigger? He noticed her staring and strangely lowered his head, flicking his gaze away from her in an oddly submissive gesture. She started to get more excited, was this going to happen after all? Had he just been seeking understanding first? Venturing closer, Justine resumed her position by grasping his hair and jerking his head to one side again and waited for a moment. Gordon winced and bared his teeth at first, the brunt of the pain was over in a second or two and he easily calmed down a little.
“Okay,” Justine spoke quietly and firmly, “here’s what’s going to happen. First, you’re going to let me cuff you to the bed.. And second, you’re going to apologize to me.. Repeatedly, do you understand?”
He nodded as best he could while she still clutched at his hair, gasping painfully as she wrenched it roughly once more.
“I can’t hear you!” she raised her voice.
“Ah! Yes!” Gordon answered her, “ow! Fuck me, d’you have to pull so bloody hard?”
She smiled broadly at him and he quieted down, looking a little more heated as she began to cuff his wrists and ensure that he couldn’t use his hands as he lay on his back with his arms raised over his head.
“Mmm,” Justine smiled as she hummed and slowly, slowly dragged Gordon’s speedos down over his straining bulge, watching it spring up as the dampened swimwear folded down and it was set free at last, “so big.. “
His eyes were intently watching her, she licked her lips deliberately and provocatively, eliciting a soft moan of anticipation from him.
“What’s your safe word, baby?” Justine asked him.
“Am I going to need one?” Gordon asked her, his excited, breathy way of speaking turned her on.
“I may get a little carried away, yes,” Justine confirmed.
“Seven,” Gordon answered her immediately, “if I say that, everything shuts down, you stop - got it?”
“I know,” Justine pouted, “just relax and trust me already.”
“Ohh, yess.. “ Gordon groaned as she took him into her mouth at once, teasing him with her tongue and squeezing him with her hand, “yeah.. “
Justine slowly pulled back, he was enjoying that a little too much.
“Turn around,” she instructed him, watching him struggle to move and face away from her with his hands still cuffed over his head. He was soon on his knees, leaning forwards and she began to rub his ass in a circular motion, readying him for what was to come next. No stranger to hazing, Gordon knew what she was intending before she let it be known to him and he took some deep breaths, but he still startled and hissed as she gave his ass a solid slap. The sound was quite loud in the otherwise silent room, but it only served to excite them both just that little bit more.
“Sorry,” Gordon murmured quietly, as she rubbed his ass some more.
Justine leaned down and kissed the small of his back, using her tongue generously as she reached around and began to stroke his cock. He was so hard, it startled her to feel it at first but she soon grasped it gently into her palm and began to stroke it up and down. Another two spanks to his ass and Gordon apologized twice more, groaning for the pleasure and grunting at the increasing force with which she was slapping him. His head lowered after several more strikes against his ass, she started to kiss the reddened cheeks and lick them before spanking him again, the wetness making it sting that much more. It sparked louder, more pained sounds from him and his erotic groans were less subtle now.
“Mmm, alright baby?” she hummed against his smarting flesh.
“You hit like a girl,” Gordon responded, breathless and aroused. Justine lifted her brows, the sheer cheek of him! She reached over and took up a leather belt, folding it once before raising it up and striking his ass with it.
“Ah! Ow! Fuck!” Gordon cried out, startling, his entire body suddenly rigid at the unexpected contact. Justine hesitated, but she heard nothing of his safe word and struck him again, a little harder this time.
“Goddamnit!” Gordon grunted, “ah!”
His eyes stung and he closed them, she felt her hand getting damp from his precum as he got excited and started to thrust his hips at last.
“Come on!” he spoke through clenched teeth. She got up onto her knees and shuffled closer, still firmly stroking his erection, now slickened with his excited semen and she started to rhythmically and repeatedly lash him, each strike slightly harder than the last. He was straining hard against his bondage, the cuffs marking his wrists red and nearly raw as he twisted and growled, struggling to free himself. His outcries were unbridled and unabashed, she’d never seen him so worked up before and found it both addictive and mesmerizing.
Blow after blow, his head thrown back and his face screwed up in pleasure pain, Gordon continued to encourage her until he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore. She could see him panting and his muscles began to relax, he started to slump a little but still he said nothing to her of stopping. Taking it upon herself to make that decision for him, Justine eventually set down the leather belt and he lay down suddenly onto his side, gasping out of breath, face wet with tears. Justine wasn’t sure if she’d gone too far and he’d simply been unable to say his safe word, but after a few moments had passed, Gordon slowly pulled himself up a little and exhaled long and low. He was still hard as a rock, although she’d been unaware of it at the time, he had actually released at some point during the session.
“Gordon?” Justine broke the quiet of the room.
“Take me,” he said quickly.
“But.. “ Justine started.
“Please,” Gordon breathed, “babe, please.. “
Justine was surprised that he was asking for sex from her, she was under the impression that he was more careful than that.
“I can’t,” she whispered, “it’s too risky, you know better.. “
He groaned in protest, driven to the desire to be dominated, he needed to be taken or else walk away unfulfilled. Justine uncuffed him, Gordon looked at her with big, pleading eyes but she could not obey. Realizing she’d not comply, Gordon accepted her refusal and slowly got off the bed, leaving her before she could offer some aftercare cuddles and kisses. She hoped he wouldn’t be pissed at her, what was he going to do now though?
He needed it bad and Krista still wasn’t home..
His heart thumped madly in his chest, hands trembling as he picked up his phone and glanced at his wristwatch. There was a deep, inbuilt desire surfacing for the first time in so many years, he’d almost assumed it to be out of his system by now. Justine was not going to be able to help him satisfy this urge, he’d have to explain it to her and it’d take too long. Krista could be home any minute or stay out for hours longer, he couldn’t wait that long.
“Hello?” Lucas answered on the other end.
“Lucas, it’s me,” Gordon spoke hurriedly. There was a brief pause.
“You alright?” Lucas asked softly.
“No,” Gordon spoke firmly.
“Okay,” Lucas answered, “come ‘round.”
Gordon set down his phone, leaving it there on the sofa and grabbing his keys but stopping by his bedroom to get dressed before heading out to his car and driving off in a hurry.
Justine eventually wandered out of her bedroom, looking around the silent, empty house confusedly. Was it something she said?
Gordon pulled up outside Lucas’ place and knocked on his door, it opened up and he just walked right on in, so Lucas shut it behind him and followed him into the living room.
“What’s going on?” Lucas asked him, as Gordon stood by the sofa but didn’t sit down. He looked only at the floor, seemingly distracted and somewhat anxious. Lucas approached him slowly, Gordon never went quiet on him like this. “Gordon?” Lucas ventured to touch his friend’s arm. He and Gordon had been friends since they were teenagers, both aspiring to the same goal of being the best chef in the world. They were often competing in their earlier days, but friendly competition was healthy for any relationship and they’d stayed in touch on and off ever since. Lucas knew Gordon quite well, this behavior was familiar but not something he’d seen for a long while. Gordon startled at the sudden touch, his breathing now clearly labored and erratic.
“Oh, on fire are we?” Lucas murmured, drawing closer to him. Gordon closed his eyes, nodding quickly.
“Yeah,” he rasped, breathless in his aroused state.
“Wanna talk about it?” Lucas asked quietly, moving to stand in front of Gordon and slowly unbutton his shirt.
Gordon refused to look back at him, his answer loud and clear in the obnoxious gesture of not responding. There really wasn’t anything to talk about, Lucas had been pressing Gordon to hook up recently and Gordon was finally receptive to it. Exposing that broad, muscular chest was always an instant thrill for Lucas, he loved being held down and taken by the much larger male but in this instance it seemed as though Gordon was seeking to be the submissive this time. This wasn’t new for them both, Gordon was a switch so he could go either way, depending on his mood and the situation, as well as the partner. Lucas ran his palms up over Gordon’s torso, thumbing his nipples and relishing in the heated expression he was then rewarded with, the red blush illuminating Gordon’s face right up to his ears as his gaze finally met with Lucas’. There was a kind of pleading in his eyes, the silence of the room enhanced the sound of his heavy breathing and Lucas felt his own erection bursting his pants to try and get free.
“Alright,” Lucas said quietly, “come on then.”
He caught Gordon’s wrist and pulled his arm, there wasn’t even a hint of resistance as he led the way into his bedroom and closed the door. Gordon stood over by the bed and took off his clothes, while Lucas pulled the blinds and closed the curtains. The room grew dark, lit only by a small lamp on top of the dressing table at the far end. Lucas took his clothes off, he always felt bashful around Gordon because in comparison, Lucas was not a match for the fit chef. Where Gordon was tall, muscular and broad, Lucas was around a head shorter and not at all toned. His body would be considered average, but he was well kept and clean shaven, not too bad looking with his dark hair and pale green eyes. Then there was the size comparison of their erections, now that simply wasn’t fair at all. Gordon was easily bigger in that respect too, making it actually quite a relief for Lucas whenever Gordon decided he wanted to take it rather than give it but he always was not so sure whether it was big enough for Gordon to feel truly satisfied.
Gordon got down onto the bed, Lucas sat behind him and began to massage his shoulders but not for too long, because Gordon had the habit of falling asleep during a massage and that’d just ruin everything. Gordon closed his eyes and lowered his head, feeling the tension melt away and uttering a soft groan as he slowly began to lean forwards. The signal was clear, no wasting time, he needed it right now.
As Gordon leaned forwards, Lucas moved his hands down lower to massage Gordon’s lower back and reached over to take some lubrication out of the top drawer of his bedside table. He started to rub Gordon’s back, just above his ass but he didn’t touch it because it looked really red and had a welt or two slapped across it.
“You have been bad,” Lucas noted, slicking the lubricant into his palm, over his cock and around Gordon’s entrance.
“Mmm,” Gordon’s deep throated groan was the only response he got, so he continued to stroke himself and nudge his fingers into Gordon’s ass to prepare him for entry.
“Damn, you’re so tight.. “ Lucas complained gently, “been a while then?”
“Just get on with it, Lucas!” Gordon growled back at him, “ohh, fuck yess.. “
Gordon hissed softly as Lucas slipped a couple of fingers inside, Lucas rolled his eyes with anticipated pleasure, eager to get going but knowing it was important not to rush into things. He leaned over Gordon, who lifted his rear instantly and their bodies pressed against one another. Gordon felt Lucas kissing and sucking at the back of his neck, helping him to remain subdued and relaxed.
“Aah!” Gordon tensed up suddenly at the sensation of Lucas nudging his erection at his ass. Lucas pressed himself down harder onto Gordon’s back, guiding himself in and keeping his lips brushing against Gordon’s heated flesh.
“Shhh.. “ Lucas hushed him, “relax.. relax.. “
Gordon’s eyes rolled closed as he eased the tension back out of his muscles and Lucas was able to thrust himself in deeper, eliciting a short grunt from Gordon as he did so. Lucas grunted as well, it didn’t take much for him to get all the way in because he was not as long and thick as Gordon down there, if he had to compare, Lucas would say his was just half of Gordon’s cock size.
“Alright?” Lucas breathed.
Gordon nodded wordlessly, pushing up from the bed but Lucas pushed him back down and began to fuck him slowly and firmly. Gordon slowly eased himself back down, keeping his rear lifted so as not to hurt his erect cock by laying on it and pressing it into the bed uncomfortably. Every so often Gordon would repeat this action, as if trying to get away or wanting Lucas to stop but each time, Lucas would press him back down and Gordon would relax again. It was uncommon, but not unheard of when Gordon was feeling particularly submissive, he needed to feel completely dominated and also to be constantly reminded that he was not in charge. He found it therapeutic and it drove him towards climax that much faster, his deep, throaty vocals becoming louder and more prominent the closer he drew to release. Lucas was breathing heavily, his entire body tuned in to Gordon’s every twitch and groan.
“Oh! Ohh yesss!” Lucas was nearing climax, “Gordon.. hnnhh.. baby, cum with me.. “
He reached around, grasping Gordon’s cock and pumping it firmly, it was slick with the precum that streamed down his long, thick shaft and he felt Gordon begin to thrust into his palm with a higher pitched range of vocals now as he neared that ultimate crescendo.
“Huhh.. Aahh.. Uhhh.. “ Gordon breathed heavily and groaned, feeling Lucas tighten his grip around his body and letting himself fall helpless into the throes of ecstasy that followed his sharp outcry of surrender.
Lucas came shortly afterwards, gasping and swearing breathlessly, their bodies gleaned with perspiration and their chests heaved with the effort to draw in enough air to their lungs. Lucas straightened up and continued thrusting into Gordon, ensuring he stayed down and relaxed. Gordon moaned and closed his eyes, lowering himself down into the pillows and resting his cheek on one of them. The bed rocked and bumped the wall as Lucas continued and Gordon grasped the railings, thrusting backwards fiercely and within minutes, Lucas came inside of him with powerful spurts of release. Gordon cried out, demanded to be let go of and pushed up from the bed, but Lucas kept him pressed down once again, cursing at him and firmly instructing him to just be still, relax and take it ‘like a bitch’ - which was essential banter for them both, it meant nothing offensive and wasn’t taken that way.
Gordon would have said as much to Lucas, had the roles been reversed at any point, so it was taken within the context of the situation and greatly appreciated. Lucas began to rub Gordon’s shoulders, kissing the back of his neck and languidly tonguing at his ears. Gordon relaxed and groaned, eyes closing again as he sighed and started to come down. Lucas carefully eased himself out of Gordon’s ass once everything was calm and quiet, finding some lotion and rubbing it gently into the reddened cheeks that lay presented before him. He winced at the welts and wondered just how long and how hard he’d been flogged for and if he’d asked for it or simply hadn’t bothered to call for it to stop. He knew that if Gordon felt terribly guilty about something, he’d just let himself be stuck repeatedly until it dawned upon the abuser that he wasn’t going to ever speak up and ask them to please stop, but by then it was too late and the damage had already been done. As the numbing agent in the lotion began to have an effect on Gordon’s sore and sensitive flesh, Lucas noticed that he was beginning to fall asleep and just kept rubbing the lotion in, deciding to just let him sleep it off.
If he kept Gordon awake, he’d start to regret what he’d just done and look for somewhere to get drunk. It was best to let him go to sleep now, he’d be awake in around half an hour and with a bit of luck, his mood would have brightened up considerably.
Gordon started to slowly rouse into consciousness, becoming aware once again of his surroundings and the arm draped over his midsection. Lucas was drowsy, but hadn’t actually fallen asleep and he now opened his eyes as he sensed Gordon waking up. Gordon shifted around to face Lucas, who was now flaccid and spent in comparison to the still semi erect chef. Gordon leaned in and began to nuzzle and suck at Lucas’ neck, trying to encourage him to mount again but Lucas blushed heatedly because as much as he’d like to, he was not hard enough and it took him much longer to recover than Gordon. He thought that perhaps he should start working out, he wasn’t anywhere near as fit and virile as Gordon was.
“Mmm, c’mon.. “ Gordon murmured against his neck, breathing hotly into his ear, “fuck me.. do it again.. “
Lucas shifted and Gordon turned away from him, they got into position and Lucas tried his best to stroke himself into sporting an erection. Gordon groaned impatiently, urging him to hurry up. This was a rarer occurrence than the actual sex itself, that Gordon would demand to be fucked twice over, he really must have been teased into sexual overdrive today but Lucas was having trouble resetting his erection. Gordon eventually rolled onto his back, pulling Lucas on top of him and allowing him to kiss and make out. This was something Gordon almost never did with other men, unless they were really getting into it. Lucas moaned into his mouth, feeling Gordon’s strong hands massaging his ass and becoming aroused to the point of finally being able to get an erection.
Wasting no time in case it was short lived, he pulled Gordon’s knee up and thrust himself inside, both of them grunting at the initial entry and then resuming making out as Gordon relaxed and the familiar thrusting began immediately. Gordon eventually threw back his head, unreserved groans escaping him as Lucas panted and thrust harder and faster. Sweat dripped from Lucas’ brow and stung into his eyes, so he squeezed them shut tight and lowered his head to Gordon’s chest. Too short to reach Gordon’s lips without asking him to him lean down, Lucas licked and suckled at the closest nipple instead.
“Ohh God!” Gordon arched his back, thrusting his chest upwards, “Lucaaas!”
Lucas smiled and continued teasing with his tongue, Gordon’s nipples were a sensitive sweet spot that, if one knew how to tease them just right, elicited easily the most erotic sounds possible. His tone would be scolding, of course, as he struggled to deny the pleasure he felt but he always ended up cursing under his breath and clawing at the bed sheets in ecstatic pleasure.
“Ugh, fuckin’ hell.. “ Gordon moaned, “aahh no.. no no no no! Fuck!” He took in a sharp breath.
“Ahuh, ah!” his final act of defiance was to spit out a string of venomous expletives, designed to deter but instead he climaxed and painted both of their stomachs and chests with his release.
Lucas finally relented and stopped his teasing, shifting with Gordon as he lay on his front again and buried his face into the pillows. Lucas was easily erect and hard as fuck by now, caught up in Gordon’s arousal and easily led as such. Gordon moaned short and sharp with each thrust, ensuring Lucas was soon driven to orgasm himself with a few more strokes towards the end of his climax for good measure.
“Had enough, hm?” Lucas puffed breathlessly.
“Yeah,” Gordon turned his head and spoke quietly, his eyes half closed and his body language expressing exhaustion, “that’s enough, Lucas, fucking get off me.”
Lucas obliged and carefully moved back, slipping out of Gordon’s ass and not taking any offense to the sudden shift in mood. That’s just how it went, there was no love or deep seated affection here, just a primal need and a desire to partake in something mutually satisfying. Gordon sat up and rubbed his nipple dry of Lucas’ saliva, grimacing as if disgusted but Lucas knew better.
“Fuckin’ smart arse,” Gordon noticed him smirking. Lucas smiled broadly, shrugging.
“You’re welcome,” Lucas said quietly, nodding to Gordon to express his gratitude to be the one Gordon had come to, he could have gone to anyone really, nobody was stupid enough to turn him down, not even Tony but that wasn’t someone Gordon even really saw all that often anymore.
“Fuck off back to London, yeah?” Gordon responded sharply.
“Yeah,” Lucas agreed, “I will.”
It was for the best, Gordon would not be comfortable to see Lucas for a few weeks now, he’d get flustered and unfocused, everyone who knew would suddenly know and he’d get embarrassed. Gordon stood up and dressed himself, then headed for the door, pausing to look over at Lucas, who was watching him silently now. They shared an unspoken exchange of gratitude and appreciation, the eyes never lie and they both knew there was nothing but respect and affection expressed in that moment and then, Gordon was out the door. Lucas slowly went to his bedroom to pack his suitcase, his knees were weak and his legs wobbled but the smile never left his face until he was asleep at home in his bed in London.
When Krista got home, Justine took Savannah and baby David to their nursery to be changed and bathed. Krista went to her bedroom to change her clothes and she paused, looking down at the bed where she found Gordon, fast asleep. There was nothing that melted her heart faster than looking at him while he slept, except perhaps those first few minutes after he’d woken up. She couldn’t help but smile as she carefully sat on the bed beside him and brushed his hair gently with her fingers, stroking his cheek to try and wake him up without startling him. He didn’t even stir, just continued to breathe deeply and so she got up and changed her clothes anyway. She decided to let him sleep, if he was that tired, he must have overdone it somewhere along the line and if he could relax enough to have fallen asleep so deeply and so contentedly, then she wasn’t going to be the one that disturbed him. Gordon got plenty of sleep, but for the amount of stress he was often under and the high amount of physical exhaustion he put himself through, it wasn’t as much as what he really needed. It was unlike him to sleep during the daylight hours, she could only hope that he wasn’t coming down with something as she went to help Justine with the children while Gordon took a much needed forty winks.
“Was Gordon in the gym today?” Krista wondered, setting about to cut sandwiches and fruit for Savannah.
“I’m not sure,” Justine replied carefully, “he’s been gone for hours. Just got home about five minutes before you.”
“That explains why he didn’t wake up then,” Krista noted, “if he’s only just gone to sleep. It’s not like him to sleep during the day though.”
“It’s good that he’s getting some downtime,” Justine put a positive spin on it, “honestly, if I followed him around for a few days and did what he does, I’d have dropped months ago.”
“Ugh, me too,” Krista agreed, pouring Savannah some water into her little cup, “I don’t know where he gets the energy from.”
“You might want to make sure he slows down sometimes though,” Justine warned her.
“Oh he does,” Krista smiled, “he just doesn’t do it for very long, that’s all. I know sometimes he can push himself a bit too far, I do worry about him.. Especially when he gets that determined look in his eyes, there’s just no stopping him.”
“I’ve seen it,” Justine nodded, holding baby David in her arms gently, “I think we should just keep everything quiet and dark in the bedroom, he can grouch at us later but at least he’ll have slept for a solid few hours at least.”
“I don’t know,” Krista was torn, “it’ll mess with his ability to fall asleep tonight if I let him snooze for too long. Then what’ll happen? He’ll wake up late, you know how that makes him feel.”
Justine nodded, she knew it made him upset that hours of the day were wasted, he’d be behind and have to rush about trying to catch up.
“Maybe just for an hour or so then,” Krista compromised, “he might not enjoy losing hours in the daytime but if he’s fallen onto the bed in a heap like that, then his body is clearly demanding rest.”
“Agreed,” Justine responded favorably, wondering where he’d got to and what he’d been doing all that time after he’d left earlier today.
About an hour and a half later, Krista had finished the laundry and baby David was asleep. Savannah was colouring in her room and Justine was cleaning the kitchen, so Krista ventured back to the bedroom to see if she could wake Gordon this time. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling affectionately down at him. He hadn’t moved an inch, obviously exhausted and she really had to think hard about whether or not she really should just let him sleep.
“Poor thing,” she said softly, stopping herself from stroking his hair because he just looked so peaceful that it seemed like the wrong thing to do right now.
She gave a sigh, unsure of what to do. She decided to just leave him be, it was a risk that he’d wake up really late and be furious at her but it was one she felt that she was willing to take and as it turned out, she did the right thing. Gordon continued to sleep right on past bedtime, deep into the night and right up until dawn. He barely stirred at all, so deep was his sleep and when he finally started to show some signs of life, Krista was awake to watch the revelation of those sleepy baby blues.
“Hey,” she greeted him with a warm smile, “are you alright?”
Gordon yawned tiredly, offering her a weary yet dazzling smile right back.
“I am now,” he said slowly, rubbing one eye sleepily, “I missed you.”
Krista blushed and tilted her head, touching his cheek with her fingertips.
“I didn’t mean to stay out for so long,” she apologized, “Savannah and Lexi were just having so much fun together, then David returned home and I didn’t want to be rude and just leave without talking to him for a while.”
Gordon pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly, so she relaxed in his embrace and felt tears stinging into her eyes. She couldn’t stay mad at him anymore, she had to just let go of this anger and let things settle down between them. A sense of normalcy would be good for them and for the children too, so to let him know she was receptive from here on in, Krista kissed his chest and gave his thigh a firm squeeze.
Gordon took a moment to realize she’d finally forgiven him, it felt like a huge compression was suddenly lifted from his chest and he could at last breathe easily again. When all was right with Krista, Gordon felt absolutely no inclination to even think of looking at anyone else, he was smittenly doe eyed only for her and that was it. Krista knew that she alone ruled his heart and that he always felt the most secure and happy when she wasn’t upset with him, she needed to talk to him now and he needed to just listen. It was a good opportunity to do just that while he was here and not really doing anything, his mind had yet to completely awaken and start to make him fidgety and eager to get out and go for a run or a swim.
“Where’d you go yesterday?” Krista wondered, working up to the topic slowly.
“I went to see Lucas,” Gordon replied with a stretch and another yawn, stifled by his hand this time. Krista was quiet for a moment, she still felt terrible for embarrassing them both a few weeks ago.
“I hope he’s forgiven me,” she said quietly.
“He’s gone back to London,” Gordon informed her, “but he’s fine, darling, don’t worry about it.”
Krista nodded and sighed, but she couldn’t help her mind wandering to the question of what the pair had been doing for such a long visit.
“Did you two.. ?” Krista asked softly, her eyes lifting to meet with his and leaving the question unspoken. Her cheeks flushed red, she felt terrible for asking but he didn’t scold her. He averted his gaze after only a moment and she had her answer, Krista took up his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.
“I’m not angry,” she reassured him, “really, Gordon. I’m totally fine with it.”
She was faced then with his most puzzled expression, his eyes returning to her own.
“You’re not being very consistent,” he told her. Krista realized this and knew it to be the truth, she was patting him on the back for sleeping with Lucas and yet she’d torn him apart for a moment of weakness with those two women. Mixed messages, but she decided to attempt to clarify this for him.
“It’s not the same,” she told him, “baby, I’d have thought that with all the scandals involving Erica, you’d be more careful than that.”
Gordon had to let this information sink in for a minute, then he sat up and frowned.
“So you’re not upset that I was with them?” he concluded, “you're only pissed that I got caught?”
Krista was silent as she realized how bad that sounded, she decided to elaborate further.
“I know it means nothing with men,” she explained gently, “I know it’s something that almost never happens and once it’s done, it’s done. You both know the deal, but women aren’t like that. Especially ones you don’t know, they fall for you Gordon, they get jealous and they want you.”
“I don’t understand,” Gordon felt frustrated with the conversation already, “what are you saying? That I should find a bloody hotel next time?”
Krista sighed, sitting up with him.
“You know how you’ve left me with a closet filled with sex toys, for when you’re away for a long time?” she broke it down for him, early morning was not his sharpest hour.
“Yes.. “ Gordon spoke slowly, trying to figure out where this was going.
“Well I don’t expect you to just go without,” Krista tried again, “Gordon, if it happens.. If it’s not done with the intention of leaving me.. I can be okay with it. I just want you to be happy and safe, but I also want you to be careful.”
She felt that he was just such a loving man, always looking to please and whenever he thought he had let someone down, the sheer enormity of the devastation he took upon himself was highly detrimental to him. As a boss she found him the strictest there was, as a husband and a father she couldn’t fault him, but as a lover.. He still had yet to figure out that he was so much more loved and wanted than he obviously realized. It was a pattern she’d noticed that it was usually when he was feeling rejected or shunned by her, that’s when these things happened and she took it with a grain of salt and forgiveness. He had leeway with her because she knew what he’d been through in his life, it didn’t excuse the behavior, but it explained it a hell of a lot. He didn’t do it consciously, or out of spite, she knew this. Gordon had been minutes away from asking a woman to be his wife, the love and devotion he must have felt towards her had to have been phenomenal in order for him to have even thought of asking her to marry him. He clearly trusted her and had laid bare his heart for her, only to have it crushed and thrown back at him in pieces.
So it didn’t matter how secure he felt when things were going well, every time there was an upset between he and Krista, his subconscious would reawaken those deep seated fears of rejection and he’d unwittingly end up falling into the arms of another in an attempt to replace her the moment she called it quits with him. Krista was saddened by the realization that he was so insecure, she understood why and she knew he was unaware of it himself, so she had decided to let him know that it was okay to make mistakes, so long as he learned from them and tried harder not to repeat them.
“I’m not giving you permission to cheat on me, Gordon,” Krista told him firmly, “I’m just letting you know that I understand it happens sometimes and that you can come to me and talk to me about it. I love you, Gordon. I need you to know that and even though I get angry sometimes and tell you I’ll leave.. I never, ever will. No matter what. I don’t care. We’ll get past it, every single time and it’ll just make us stronger.”
She leaned in and hugged him, feeling him not move for a few stunned seconds and then his arms embraced her and she sighed and relaxed. He finally got it, he understood now.. Didn’t he?
The answer was yes and no, Gordon took from it what he thought she was trying to say and she could only hope that the message that got through was a positive one. Communication was so important, she was just itching to hear from him now. Gordon held her tightly against his body, closing his eyes and resting his cheek gently on top of her head. Of course it had to be her to say such things, he had nothing to complain about, she was perfect. Krista would have disagreed, if she had known his thoughts, she had a lot to learn herself and she wasn’t faultless. Her methods of dealing with her negative emotions could certainly be better, pushing him away only encouraged the resulting one night stands and she knew that she had to try and communicate with him better. He couldn’t know what she was thinking or feeling, he could only know how she was screaming or shouting, or hurling things at him in a temper.
Despite what was seen on Hell’s Kitchen and a few other shows, Gordon never shouted back at her during her rages. If she was spouting off about someone else or something that had happened, he’d sit silently in support of her until she was done. If she was blowing up at him, he may argue back heatedly but the shouting just didn’t happen. Not since that one time, with Krista he was limitlessly passive, only when she’d got it wrong did he ever talk back to her when she was lecturing him. Krista made sure never to have such fits in front of anyone, it had to be between her and Gordon alone because that’s when she knew she would get the most honest responses from him. She wouldn’t do such a thing as scream at him while he was with his mates, or out in public, because he would become instantly submissive to her and his reputation would be tarnished pretty quickly. She did get annoyed with him in public here and there, stiffening up and trying to be subtle about letting him know she was not happy but he didn’t always understand her sudden shift in mood and he’d just get confused. It was a contrast to see him out with other people, he was so confident and obnoxious when the company was drinking buddies, putting up with them jumping all over him and tackling them in response.
Yet with closer friends he’d be so charming and amusing that he’d always end up with someone’s arm around his shoulder while he ducked his head and blushed bashfully. There were two people in him that the public were aware of, there was Chef Ramsay the strict and Gordon the relaxed. But for Krista, there were more than two sides to her husband. Of course she knew Chef Ramsay and avoided him at all costs, Gordon the relaxed was for everyone to see that he wasn’t just a shouting, swearing perfectionist and that he could joke around and hand out positive advice just like anyone else. Gordon cared about people, he really, truly, deeply cared about them, even if he didn’t know them. It was his first instinct to help someone in need, to try and help them sort things out and build them up whenever necessary. He gave of himself so much in any relationship, whether it be people he hadn’t met, people he’d known for a while or the love of his life; he never did anything half heartedly. Because people weren’t always inclined to return such generosity, Gordon usually set himself up for a lot of pain and frustration, which only added to his stress but it never stopped him from reaching out, he was just that kind of man.
The other sides to him that only Krista got to see were the doting daddy to his children and the cuddly bunny that wanted nothing more than to just curl up on the sofa with her and simply exist. Because she knew it was difficult, if somewhat impossible, for him to be still, Krista appreciated those moments of perfect quality time with Gordon so much more than she ever would have imagined before they had met. She had grown and matured as a person, she’d been there for him when he was at his most broken and unlovable, so she would continue to be there for him until the day one of them stopped breathing. Nothing would ever drive them apart, she knew he’d never leave her for another woman and despite his insecurities, she would never leave him for anything he did or said. Of course, that wasn’t to say she’d be a doormat either. If she ever realized he did anything upsetting just because he thought he could get away with it and she’d just forgive him, she would certainly make sure he knew that this was unacceptable.
She had nothing to really worry about though, Gordon was tied to her with unbreakable bonds and nobody could ever persuade him to even think of attempting to escape from them. He loved her, more than anything in the world and he tried to prove it to her day after day. She knew that in time, he would grow out of this phase of his life where every pretty lady who winked at him stood at least half a chance with him under the right circumstances, she just needed to be patient and encourage the growth of his maturity without killing off his playful side.
****
(page 11: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/60415.html)
***
Gordon slept right through the morning and only began to stir a little after lunchtime, his head was a little achy but he’d be alright. Sitting up slowly, he puzzled as to his whereabouts for a moment before remembering what had happened and sighing with regret once more.
“Coffee?” David stood by the door, looking in at him.
“Normally no,” Gordon answered him, “but I’ll take it today.. Thank you.”
David wandered over and handed him the beverage, seating himself on the edge of the bed.
“This needs to stop,” David told him gently. Gordon nodded without a word, he knew it did. David was well aware of how easy it was to cheat, how susceptible one became while intoxicated, drinking made David lose a lot of friends and he’d quit doing it for that very reason. In an ideal world, Gordon would learn from David’s mistakes but he was making his own and finding out the hard way.
“How mad was she?” David wondered. He had not been there when Krista found out, but he drew his own conclusions when he’d found Gordon in front of a hotel, no car keys or car, passed out and disheveled. It wasn’t a difficult guess from there, but his tone was soft and not scolding, genuine concern in his expression now.
“Not as mad as she could have been,” Gordon sat up to drink the coffee slowly, “she didn’t scream or hit me or anything.”
David pursed his lips.
“Son, that’s where you’re wrong,” David told him, “silent anger is by far the worst kind, you need to let her calm down before you go home.”
Gordon leaned back into the pillows, but he couldn’t wait.
“I have to go to her,” Gordon insisted, “she said I’ve lost her and the kids, what if I get back and they’ve all gone by now?”
David gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.
“I’ll drive you home then,” David offered, standing to his feet, “shall I stay?”
“No, thank you,” Gordon offered him a grateful smile, “you’ve done so much already, I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” David smiled at him encouragingly, “you know I will always be there for you.”
He meant it and Gordon knew this, but right now it was better to face the music as soon as possible and get it over with. David stood up and left him to it, eventually dropping him off at his home about an hour later with the instruction to call if he needed anything. Gordon felt a lot better for having such support behind him, now he had to try and fix things before Krista packed her bags. She was easily his biggest motivation in life, the desire to keep things running smoothly was all for her benefit and afterwards, this included the children as well.
As he walked into the living room, he saw nobody home except Krista. She had asked Justine to take Savannah and little David to the zoo for a few hours after lunch, so now it was just herself and Gordon. She stood up to greet him with a disappointed frown, struggling with herself not to slap him, or hug him tightly. Her emotions were so conflicted, how deeply she loved him and wanted to hold him tight, but he’d done something wrong and needed to show her that he was truly apologetic. She needed to know and be convinced that this wouldn’t happen again, she couldn’t live like this, never knowing, always wondering..
Gordon was shaking, Krista knew that he thought she’d already packed the children’s things and sent them to her parent’s house with Justine and she wasn’t going to tell him any differently until she knew he was really sorry for what he had done.
“You’re back,” Krista placed her hands upon her hips, “I was just about to grab my bag and go.”
A dangerous move, threatening him with his worst nightmare.
“Can we talk about this?” Gordon tried.
“There’s nothing to say,” Krista spoke firmly.
“How can we sort this out if you won’t talk to me?” Gordon asked her.
Krista looked at him fiercely and his gaze averted, how strange this must look to anyone else, she was so much smaller in stature than him and yet she was easily the most aggressive one in this moment.
“I made a mistake,” Gordon met with her gaze now, “I was angry, I wasn’t thinking.. I didn’t mean to stay for that long. One drink, that’s all but.. I got sidetracked and I let it happen. I’m sorry, Krista. Please.. I am begging you, don’t leave me.”
She widened her eyes as he followed up his words with the submissive gesture of slowly sinking to his knees, his head lowered and eyes downcast. It made her feel very powerful, she held all of the cards here, but in what way should she use them?
Krista placed her hand under Gordon’s chin and he lifted his gaze to meet with hers, staring up at her with his big sapphire eyes. She slowly knelt down in front of him and stroked one side of his face, sighing with defeat.
“This ends now,” she said firmly, “and you stop drinking anything stronger than wine or champagne, got it?”
He nodded slowly, taking in her words and absorbing the ferocity with which it was being delivered, Krista was making sure he understood what was at risk here.
“If you ever do it again,” she told him, “it’s over.”
She stood up and walked around him, unable to be near him because he looked so broken and sad that she wanted to cuddle and comfort him. It was important that he felt the pain and the loss, she couldn’t simply give in completely to him or he’d just go off and do it again somewhere else. It was times such as these that she wished she were wiser, she didn’t know what to do next. What if she was pushing him away? She sat on her bed and reflected on these past few weeks, just mulling over every single detail and slowly coming to the realization that she’d been pretty difficult to live with since their son had been born. She’d snapped at Gordon so many times and yet he’d stuck by her throughout it all, fussing over her was his way of feeling useful and showing her that he loved her and she’d just cursed at him for his efforts. It was a bitter pill to swallow and a tough admission to make, but she felt that in some way, she was partially to blame as well. If Gordon ever treated her that way when she was trying to be helpful and caring, Krista knew she’d have been a lot more pissed off and vocal about it, throwing things at him and accusing him of being an asshole.
The fact that he’d never once got visually angry with her snippy temper made her feel guilty all over again, he was so much more understanding than her and she felt that yes, he’d made a mistake but was that really so bad? Everyone made mistakes, he was clearly very sorry for what he’d done, but then she had another thought. She’d been flirted with by accident and she had really been flattered by the gesture, if David hadn’t caught himself and left the room, would she have let him seduce her if he’d continued? She did find him attractive and he was really a very kind hearted, generous man but he’d not ever cheat on Iman, not in a million years. Her question was of her own response, she’d blushed and smiled instead of removing herself from the situation or asking him politely to stop. She came to the conclusion that this wasn’t premeditated, it was just a mistake as he’d said, so she really was willing to forgive him after all. But how soon was too soon? Would he learn if she went running back to him right now, the way she wanted to? Iman had once told her to trust her gut, if it felt right then she should act upon it.
Krista decided to take that advice and she got up off the bed to go and find out where Gordon had got to by now. She stopped short in the doorway of the living room, her gaze dropping to the floor where he lay, curled up and softly sobbing to himself. It brought stinging tears to her eyes at once, this wasn’t how she’d meant for him to react. Iman had also told her that it was more important to build your partner up, rather than tear them down and break them because if their confidence was lost, a downward spiral was going to become the next problem they would face. Her power trip was over, she wasn’t going to let him suffer any longer and she knelt down by his side, accepting him into her arms when he noticed her there and holding him tightly.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, feeling her own tears warmly streaking down her cheeks, “I’m still here, it’s alright.. “
She realized the truth of Iman’s words in that moment, it’d been so easy to tear him apart, like squeezing toothpaste right out of the tube but now she had to try and fix it, put the toothpaste back into the tube, so to speak. That was going to be difficult and she needed to be tactful about it, for it’d taken two years to finally see him relaxing into their secure relationship and now they’d be back to square one or worse. She hated what he’d done, but he’d suffered enough in her eyes and it was time to move on and get past it, one moment at a time. This isn’t how she wanted him to be, she didn’t want to be married to this broken figure, trembling in her arms and sobbing into her blouse. She wanted her husband back, the confident, cheeky, sometimes bashful and slightly arrogant bastard she’d fallen in love with. Bastard being a term of endearment in this context of course, she’d never use it against him as an expletive. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back reassuringly.
“I love you Gordon,” she told him, drawing him in tighter to herself, “nothing will ever change that.”
*
Over the next few weeks, Justine was disturbed at how subdued and quiet Gordon had become. He spoke to her only when she asked him a question and he hadn’t been intimate with her since his fight with Krista. She knew what had happened by now, so she understood his reasons for avoiding her but one day they found themselves alone for the first time in nearly a month after the incident. Krista had taken Savannah and little David over to the Bowie household for a playdate, David wasn’t home and Krista was keen to spend some time with Iman and the little ones.
Justine wandered out onto the back patio, watching Gordon in the pool as he swam several laps around it. She sat down to enjoy that toned, tanned, triathlon body and the cheeky speedos he so enjoyed wearing. It certainly brought a smile to any woman’s lips, herself especially but she was finding it hard not to strip down to her bikini and join him down there. When he was done, she stood up and walked over to him and passed him his towel. He was breathless and thanked her quickly, using it to pat himself dry and rub at his hair. She reached up to touch his face and he caught her wrist, warning her just once with his eyes.
“Have I done something wrong?” Justine wondered, aching to be touched and yearning for his kisses.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Gordon told her, “it’s over, Justine. I made a really big mistake and I’m not losing my family over this. It’s bad enough Krista caught me red handed, but just wait until she sees what’s cropped up in the bloody papers!”
Somehow, from somewhere, photos of him coaxing the girls into his car had only just recently leaked to the press. A short video online showed a snippet of his fallout with Krista, under the headlines of something about having his hand caught in the cookie jar. This was going to take a lot of time out of his schedule, as if Erica’s scandals weren’t bad enough! Justine followed Gordon back inside, snagging his arm.
“Baby.. The only mistake you made was getting caught!” Justine reassured him, “you and I? We’re more careful than that, remember? She’ll never know.. Come on.. “
She sidled up to him, stroking his cheek and looking him in the eyes. Gordon dropped the towel, embracing her and leaning down to make out with her for the first time in several weeks. She moaned noisily to excite and encourage him, enjoying his exploring hands and soft hums in response to the way she rubbed her body against his own. Laying in bed at night, his arms around Krista but with her back facing him, Gordon had been reluctant to initiate anything physical with his wife after that day. She had forgiven him so graciously, he felt undeserving and simply waited for her to feel that she was ready to be intimate again with him. It was not easy for her, feeling him pressed hard up against her body and it was even more difficult for him, he was just so eager for affection..
Justine loved being a bad influence on him, but she had also learned her lesson. By showing him that cheating was alright in her books, she’d inadvertently somehow pushed him to cheat with someone else besides herself. She was going to have to make it a little clearer that this was not okay, no matter how hypocritical it was. Gordon was still young and growing as a person, he was very much a bad boy in the public eye right now and that reputation was starting to get out of control, particularly in America. Shaking off the stigma that surrounded Hell’s Kitchen was next to impossible, a lot of people found him intimidating and scary nowadays. Even those older chefs, who Gordon had looked up to and subsequently been abused by, couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore for fear of his infamous temper. The only ones who dared to give him any cheek were those closest to him, his real friends and his family.
“Mmm, oh baby, it’s been a while huh?” Justine noticed his raging erection right away, although it’d be hard to miss in those tight, little speedos.
“Mmhmm,” came his muffled response as he kissed and sucked at her neck, eager for some affection and physical contact. Krista’s snubs were Justine’s reward, one that she would accept with both hands and never let go.
“You’ve been such a bad boy, Gordon,” Justine told him quietly, grasping his hair to make him pay attention.
“Ah!” Gordon gasped as she pulled his head to one side, exposing his throat to her.
“Such a naughty, naughty boy,” she cooed at him, smiling at his wincing expression, “you have such adorable eyes, do you know that?”
He grunted as she pulled him towards the stairs, her firm grip in his hair ensuring that he went along without resistance.
“Jus-Justine.. “ Gordon followed her upstairs, “ow, let go!”
“Oh no,” Justine responded with a wicked smile, “am I hurting you?”
“A little,” Gordon admitted.
“But you like it, right?” Justine asked quietly, leading him into her bedroom. He groaned in response, she knew him far too well to believe that he was actually bothered by the pain at all and only let go of his hair once he was seated upon the edge of her bed.
“Now,” Justine walked over to the door and locked it shut, stalking back towards him with a sultry sway to her hips, “what to do with such a bad, bad boy.. ?”
Gordon looked amused at first, not taking her seriously.
“What are you doing?” he asked her, standing up, “Krista could come home at any moment.. “
“Well then,” Justine grabbed his arm and pushed him back down onto the bed, “I guess you’d better just do as you’re told, because the more you resist, the longer it’ll take.”
Gordon looked up at her, his bewildered expression making her feel like going soft on him but she had to remind herself that he’d misbehaved. Big time.
“The longer.. what.. will take?” Gordon wondered quietly.
“Oh, I think you know, sweetie,” Justine responded playfully, enjoying his irked expression at being called such a thing. She suddenly moved without warning to slap him, hard - but he caught her wrist with hair-trigger reflexes. She stood, stunned as to how he could possibly have known what she was going to do.
“Get slapped often, do you?” she asked him boldly, but he did not answer her. Angrily, she grasped a fistful of his hair and pulled hard, jerking his head to one side and then she cried out as he suddenly had her pinned to the bed. She was on her back, he towered over her fiercely, clearly not as broken down by Krista’s attacking of him as she’d figured he would be. Tearing him down should have made him feel deserving of such a punishment as Justine was planning to give him, she couldn’t understand his display of dominance just now.
“What did you possibly think you could do to me?” Gordon asked her roughly. Justine gulped and whimpered as he bared his teeth and swore under his breath, tearing at her blouse and exposing her breasts. She wanted to chain him to the bed, down on his front and whip his ass until it nearly bled..
“Uh?” came his unique prompt.
“Alright!” Justine glared back up into his pale blue eyes, “I was going to own your ass! You fucking cheated on me you slut! I swear if you let me up for even a second, I’m going to smack you!”
He looked oddly apologetic for a moment, as if he’d only just realized that he hadn’t only hurt Krista but Justine as well.
“Oh yeah?” Gordon did not relay his thoughts to her, “do you honestly think you can hurt me, Justine?”
“I think I can, yeah,” Justine growled back at him, wrestling with him but he held her down firmly.
“Do you really want to hurt me, Justine?” he wondered. She fell silent, her glaring gaze met with his own and neither one of them backing down. Of course she didn’t, she simply felt hurt, angry and betrayed and the worst part of it was his indifference towards her since it’d happened.
“No,” she finally whispered. He let her up and they both sat back, looking at one another with growing arousal.
He was only wearing his speedos, sporting an erection and breathing heavily. Justine was stripped down to the waist, her breasts firm and pert due to being exposed to the cool air and she was trying not to drool over his body. How could she have thought to want to mark it? It was clear to her that only Krista could ever be so dominant towards him, he simply wouldn’t allow for anyone else to take such advantage of him. His confidence in himself and the pride he took in everything he did was so obvious since he’d met his wife, it was warming to see how far he had come. Krista had certainly helped to build him up to this level, she was just what he’d needed to get that boost up and he’d simply flourished from there. If anyone was going to physically punish him, it had to be her.
“I didn’t want to hurt anyone, either,” Gordon wanted her to know this, it was important to him that she heard it from him and that she understood where he was coming from. Justine nodded slowly, feeling somewhat validated by his revelation and damn, did his erection just get bigger? He noticed her staring and strangely lowered his head, flicking his gaze away from her in an oddly submissive gesture. She started to get more excited, was this going to happen after all? Had he just been seeking understanding first? Venturing closer, Justine resumed her position by grasping his hair and jerking his head to one side again and waited for a moment. Gordon winced and bared his teeth at first, the brunt of the pain was over in a second or two and he easily calmed down a little.
“Okay,” Justine spoke quietly and firmly, “here’s what’s going to happen. First, you’re going to let me cuff you to the bed.. And second, you’re going to apologize to me.. Repeatedly, do you understand?”
He nodded as best he could while she still clutched at his hair, gasping painfully as she wrenched it roughly once more.
“I can’t hear you!” she raised her voice.
“Ah! Yes!” Gordon answered her, “ow! Fuck me, d’you have to pull so bloody hard?”
She smiled broadly at him and he quieted down, looking a little more heated as she began to cuff his wrists and ensure that he couldn’t use his hands as he lay on his back with his arms raised over his head.
“Mmm,” Justine smiled as she hummed and slowly, slowly dragged Gordon’s speedos down over his straining bulge, watching it spring up as the dampened swimwear folded down and it was set free at last, “so big.. “
His eyes were intently watching her, she licked her lips deliberately and provocatively, eliciting a soft moan of anticipation from him.
“What’s your safe word, baby?” Justine asked him.
“Am I going to need one?” Gordon asked her, his excited, breathy way of speaking turned her on.
“I may get a little carried away, yes,” Justine confirmed.
“Seven,” Gordon answered her immediately, “if I say that, everything shuts down, you stop - got it?”
“I know,” Justine pouted, “just relax and trust me already.”
“Ohh, yess.. “ Gordon groaned as she took him into her mouth at once, teasing him with her tongue and squeezing him with her hand, “yeah.. “
Justine slowly pulled back, he was enjoying that a little too much.
“Turn around,” she instructed him, watching him struggle to move and face away from her with his hands still cuffed over his head. He was soon on his knees, leaning forwards and she began to rub his ass in a circular motion, readying him for what was to come next. No stranger to hazing, Gordon knew what she was intending before she let it be known to him and he took some deep breaths, but he still startled and hissed as she gave his ass a solid slap. The sound was quite loud in the otherwise silent room, but it only served to excite them both just that little bit more.
“Sorry,” Gordon murmured quietly, as she rubbed his ass some more.
Justine leaned down and kissed the small of his back, using her tongue generously as she reached around and began to stroke his cock. He was so hard, it startled her to feel it at first but she soon grasped it gently into her palm and began to stroke it up and down. Another two spanks to his ass and Gordon apologized twice more, groaning for the pleasure and grunting at the increasing force with which she was slapping him. His head lowered after several more strikes against his ass, she started to kiss the reddened cheeks and lick them before spanking him again, the wetness making it sting that much more. It sparked louder, more pained sounds from him and his erotic groans were less subtle now.
“Mmm, alright baby?” she hummed against his smarting flesh.
“You hit like a girl,” Gordon responded, breathless and aroused. Justine lifted her brows, the sheer cheek of him! She reached over and took up a leather belt, folding it once before raising it up and striking his ass with it.
“Ah! Ow! Fuck!” Gordon cried out, startling, his entire body suddenly rigid at the unexpected contact. Justine hesitated, but she heard nothing of his safe word and struck him again, a little harder this time.
“Goddamnit!” Gordon grunted, “ah!”
His eyes stung and he closed them, she felt her hand getting damp from his precum as he got excited and started to thrust his hips at last.
“Come on!” he spoke through clenched teeth. She got up onto her knees and shuffled closer, still firmly stroking his erection, now slickened with his excited semen and she started to rhythmically and repeatedly lash him, each strike slightly harder than the last. He was straining hard against his bondage, the cuffs marking his wrists red and nearly raw as he twisted and growled, struggling to free himself. His outcries were unbridled and unabashed, she’d never seen him so worked up before and found it both addictive and mesmerizing.
Blow after blow, his head thrown back and his face screwed up in pleasure pain, Gordon continued to encourage her until he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore. She could see him panting and his muscles began to relax, he started to slump a little but still he said nothing to her of stopping. Taking it upon herself to make that decision for him, Justine eventually set down the leather belt and he lay down suddenly onto his side, gasping out of breath, face wet with tears. Justine wasn’t sure if she’d gone too far and he’d simply been unable to say his safe word, but after a few moments had passed, Gordon slowly pulled himself up a little and exhaled long and low. He was still hard as a rock, although she’d been unaware of it at the time, he had actually released at some point during the session.
“Gordon?” Justine broke the quiet of the room.
“Take me,” he said quickly.
“But.. “ Justine started.
“Please,” Gordon breathed, “babe, please.. “
Justine was surprised that he was asking for sex from her, she was under the impression that he was more careful than that.
“I can’t,” she whispered, “it’s too risky, you know better.. “
He groaned in protest, driven to the desire to be dominated, he needed to be taken or else walk away unfulfilled. Justine uncuffed him, Gordon looked at her with big, pleading eyes but she could not obey. Realizing she’d not comply, Gordon accepted her refusal and slowly got off the bed, leaving her before she could offer some aftercare cuddles and kisses. She hoped he wouldn’t be pissed at her, what was he going to do now though?
He needed it bad and Krista still wasn’t home..
His heart thumped madly in his chest, hands trembling as he picked up his phone and glanced at his wristwatch. There was a deep, inbuilt desire surfacing for the first time in so many years, he’d almost assumed it to be out of his system by now. Justine was not going to be able to help him satisfy this urge, he’d have to explain it to her and it’d take too long. Krista could be home any minute or stay out for hours longer, he couldn’t wait that long.
“Hello?” Lucas answered on the other end.
“Lucas, it’s me,” Gordon spoke hurriedly. There was a brief pause.
“You alright?” Lucas asked softly.
“No,” Gordon spoke firmly.
“Okay,” Lucas answered, “come ‘round.”
Gordon set down his phone, leaving it there on the sofa and grabbing his keys but stopping by his bedroom to get dressed before heading out to his car and driving off in a hurry.
Justine eventually wandered out of her bedroom, looking around the silent, empty house confusedly. Was it something she said?
Gordon pulled up outside Lucas’ place and knocked on his door, it opened up and he just walked right on in, so Lucas shut it behind him and followed him into the living room.
“What’s going on?” Lucas asked him, as Gordon stood by the sofa but didn’t sit down. He looked only at the floor, seemingly distracted and somewhat anxious. Lucas approached him slowly, Gordon never went quiet on him like this. “Gordon?” Lucas ventured to touch his friend’s arm. He and Gordon had been friends since they were teenagers, both aspiring to the same goal of being the best chef in the world. They were often competing in their earlier days, but friendly competition was healthy for any relationship and they’d stayed in touch on and off ever since. Lucas knew Gordon quite well, this behavior was familiar but not something he’d seen for a long while. Gordon startled at the sudden touch, his breathing now clearly labored and erratic.
“Oh, on fire are we?” Lucas murmured, drawing closer to him. Gordon closed his eyes, nodding quickly.
“Yeah,” he rasped, breathless in his aroused state.
“Wanna talk about it?” Lucas asked quietly, moving to stand in front of Gordon and slowly unbutton his shirt.
Gordon refused to look back at him, his answer loud and clear in the obnoxious gesture of not responding. There really wasn’t anything to talk about, Lucas had been pressing Gordon to hook up recently and Gordon was finally receptive to it. Exposing that broad, muscular chest was always an instant thrill for Lucas, he loved being held down and taken by the much larger male but in this instance it seemed as though Gordon was seeking to be the submissive this time. This wasn’t new for them both, Gordon was a switch so he could go either way, depending on his mood and the situation, as well as the partner. Lucas ran his palms up over Gordon’s torso, thumbing his nipples and relishing in the heated expression he was then rewarded with, the red blush illuminating Gordon’s face right up to his ears as his gaze finally met with Lucas’. There was a kind of pleading in his eyes, the silence of the room enhanced the sound of his heavy breathing and Lucas felt his own erection bursting his pants to try and get free.
“Alright,” Lucas said quietly, “come on then.”
He caught Gordon’s wrist and pulled his arm, there wasn’t even a hint of resistance as he led the way into his bedroom and closed the door. Gordon stood over by the bed and took off his clothes, while Lucas pulled the blinds and closed the curtains. The room grew dark, lit only by a small lamp on top of the dressing table at the far end. Lucas took his clothes off, he always felt bashful around Gordon because in comparison, Lucas was not a match for the fit chef. Where Gordon was tall, muscular and broad, Lucas was around a head shorter and not at all toned. His body would be considered average, but he was well kept and clean shaven, not too bad looking with his dark hair and pale green eyes. Then there was the size comparison of their erections, now that simply wasn’t fair at all. Gordon was easily bigger in that respect too, making it actually quite a relief for Lucas whenever Gordon decided he wanted to take it rather than give it but he always was not so sure whether it was big enough for Gordon to feel truly satisfied.
Gordon got down onto the bed, Lucas sat behind him and began to massage his shoulders but not for too long, because Gordon had the habit of falling asleep during a massage and that’d just ruin everything. Gordon closed his eyes and lowered his head, feeling the tension melt away and uttering a soft groan as he slowly began to lean forwards. The signal was clear, no wasting time, he needed it right now.
As Gordon leaned forwards, Lucas moved his hands down lower to massage Gordon’s lower back and reached over to take some lubrication out of the top drawer of his bedside table. He started to rub Gordon’s back, just above his ass but he didn’t touch it because it looked really red and had a welt or two slapped across it.
“You have been bad,” Lucas noted, slicking the lubricant into his palm, over his cock and around Gordon’s entrance.
“Mmm,” Gordon’s deep throated groan was the only response he got, so he continued to stroke himself and nudge his fingers into Gordon’s ass to prepare him for entry.
“Damn, you’re so tight.. “ Lucas complained gently, “been a while then?”
“Just get on with it, Lucas!” Gordon growled back at him, “ohh, fuck yess.. “
Gordon hissed softly as Lucas slipped a couple of fingers inside, Lucas rolled his eyes with anticipated pleasure, eager to get going but knowing it was important not to rush into things. He leaned over Gordon, who lifted his rear instantly and their bodies pressed against one another. Gordon felt Lucas kissing and sucking at the back of his neck, helping him to remain subdued and relaxed.
“Aah!” Gordon tensed up suddenly at the sensation of Lucas nudging his erection at his ass. Lucas pressed himself down harder onto Gordon’s back, guiding himself in and keeping his lips brushing against Gordon’s heated flesh.
“Shhh.. “ Lucas hushed him, “relax.. relax.. “
Gordon’s eyes rolled closed as he eased the tension back out of his muscles and Lucas was able to thrust himself in deeper, eliciting a short grunt from Gordon as he did so. Lucas grunted as well, it didn’t take much for him to get all the way in because he was not as long and thick as Gordon down there, if he had to compare, Lucas would say his was just half of Gordon’s cock size.
“Alright?” Lucas breathed.
Gordon nodded wordlessly, pushing up from the bed but Lucas pushed him back down and began to fuck him slowly and firmly. Gordon slowly eased himself back down, keeping his rear lifted so as not to hurt his erect cock by laying on it and pressing it into the bed uncomfortably. Every so often Gordon would repeat this action, as if trying to get away or wanting Lucas to stop but each time, Lucas would press him back down and Gordon would relax again. It was uncommon, but not unheard of when Gordon was feeling particularly submissive, he needed to feel completely dominated and also to be constantly reminded that he was not in charge. He found it therapeutic and it drove him towards climax that much faster, his deep, throaty vocals becoming louder and more prominent the closer he drew to release. Lucas was breathing heavily, his entire body tuned in to Gordon’s every twitch and groan.
“Oh! Ohh yesss!” Lucas was nearing climax, “Gordon.. hnnhh.. baby, cum with me.. “
He reached around, grasping Gordon’s cock and pumping it firmly, it was slick with the precum that streamed down his long, thick shaft and he felt Gordon begin to thrust into his palm with a higher pitched range of vocals now as he neared that ultimate crescendo.
“Huhh.. Aahh.. Uhhh.. “ Gordon breathed heavily and groaned, feeling Lucas tighten his grip around his body and letting himself fall helpless into the throes of ecstasy that followed his sharp outcry of surrender.
Lucas came shortly afterwards, gasping and swearing breathlessly, their bodies gleaned with perspiration and their chests heaved with the effort to draw in enough air to their lungs. Lucas straightened up and continued thrusting into Gordon, ensuring he stayed down and relaxed. Gordon moaned and closed his eyes, lowering himself down into the pillows and resting his cheek on one of them. The bed rocked and bumped the wall as Lucas continued and Gordon grasped the railings, thrusting backwards fiercely and within minutes, Lucas came inside of him with powerful spurts of release. Gordon cried out, demanded to be let go of and pushed up from the bed, but Lucas kept him pressed down once again, cursing at him and firmly instructing him to just be still, relax and take it ‘like a bitch’ - which was essential banter for them both, it meant nothing offensive and wasn’t taken that way.
Gordon would have said as much to Lucas, had the roles been reversed at any point, so it was taken within the context of the situation and greatly appreciated. Lucas began to rub Gordon’s shoulders, kissing the back of his neck and languidly tonguing at his ears. Gordon relaxed and groaned, eyes closing again as he sighed and started to come down. Lucas carefully eased himself out of Gordon’s ass once everything was calm and quiet, finding some lotion and rubbing it gently into the reddened cheeks that lay presented before him. He winced at the welts and wondered just how long and how hard he’d been flogged for and if he’d asked for it or simply hadn’t bothered to call for it to stop. He knew that if Gordon felt terribly guilty about something, he’d just let himself be stuck repeatedly until it dawned upon the abuser that he wasn’t going to ever speak up and ask them to please stop, but by then it was too late and the damage had already been done. As the numbing agent in the lotion began to have an effect on Gordon’s sore and sensitive flesh, Lucas noticed that he was beginning to fall asleep and just kept rubbing the lotion in, deciding to just let him sleep it off.
If he kept Gordon awake, he’d start to regret what he’d just done and look for somewhere to get drunk. It was best to let him go to sleep now, he’d be awake in around half an hour and with a bit of luck, his mood would have brightened up considerably.
Gordon started to slowly rouse into consciousness, becoming aware once again of his surroundings and the arm draped over his midsection. Lucas was drowsy, but hadn’t actually fallen asleep and he now opened his eyes as he sensed Gordon waking up. Gordon shifted around to face Lucas, who was now flaccid and spent in comparison to the still semi erect chef. Gordon leaned in and began to nuzzle and suck at Lucas’ neck, trying to encourage him to mount again but Lucas blushed heatedly because as much as he’d like to, he was not hard enough and it took him much longer to recover than Gordon. He thought that perhaps he should start working out, he wasn’t anywhere near as fit and virile as Gordon was.
“Mmm, c’mon.. “ Gordon murmured against his neck, breathing hotly into his ear, “fuck me.. do it again.. “
Lucas shifted and Gordon turned away from him, they got into position and Lucas tried his best to stroke himself into sporting an erection. Gordon groaned impatiently, urging him to hurry up. This was a rarer occurrence than the actual sex itself, that Gordon would demand to be fucked twice over, he really must have been teased into sexual overdrive today but Lucas was having trouble resetting his erection. Gordon eventually rolled onto his back, pulling Lucas on top of him and allowing him to kiss and make out. This was something Gordon almost never did with other men, unless they were really getting into it. Lucas moaned into his mouth, feeling Gordon’s strong hands massaging his ass and becoming aroused to the point of finally being able to get an erection.
Wasting no time in case it was short lived, he pulled Gordon’s knee up and thrust himself inside, both of them grunting at the initial entry and then resuming making out as Gordon relaxed and the familiar thrusting began immediately. Gordon eventually threw back his head, unreserved groans escaping him as Lucas panted and thrust harder and faster. Sweat dripped from Lucas’ brow and stung into his eyes, so he squeezed them shut tight and lowered his head to Gordon’s chest. Too short to reach Gordon’s lips without asking him to him lean down, Lucas licked and suckled at the closest nipple instead.
“Ohh God!” Gordon arched his back, thrusting his chest upwards, “Lucaaas!”
Lucas smiled and continued teasing with his tongue, Gordon’s nipples were a sensitive sweet spot that, if one knew how to tease them just right, elicited easily the most erotic sounds possible. His tone would be scolding, of course, as he struggled to deny the pleasure he felt but he always ended up cursing under his breath and clawing at the bed sheets in ecstatic pleasure.
“Ugh, fuckin’ hell.. “ Gordon moaned, “aahh no.. no no no no! Fuck!” He took in a sharp breath.
“Ahuh, ah!” his final act of defiance was to spit out a string of venomous expletives, designed to deter but instead he climaxed and painted both of their stomachs and chests with his release.
Lucas finally relented and stopped his teasing, shifting with Gordon as he lay on his front again and buried his face into the pillows. Lucas was easily erect and hard as fuck by now, caught up in Gordon’s arousal and easily led as such. Gordon moaned short and sharp with each thrust, ensuring Lucas was soon driven to orgasm himself with a few more strokes towards the end of his climax for good measure.
“Had enough, hm?” Lucas puffed breathlessly.
“Yeah,” Gordon turned his head and spoke quietly, his eyes half closed and his body language expressing exhaustion, “that’s enough, Lucas, fucking get off me.”
Lucas obliged and carefully moved back, slipping out of Gordon’s ass and not taking any offense to the sudden shift in mood. That’s just how it went, there was no love or deep seated affection here, just a primal need and a desire to partake in something mutually satisfying. Gordon sat up and rubbed his nipple dry of Lucas’ saliva, grimacing as if disgusted but Lucas knew better.
“Fuckin’ smart arse,” Gordon noticed him smirking. Lucas smiled broadly, shrugging.
“You’re welcome,” Lucas said quietly, nodding to Gordon to express his gratitude to be the one Gordon had come to, he could have gone to anyone really, nobody was stupid enough to turn him down, not even Tony but that wasn’t someone Gordon even really saw all that often anymore.
“Fuck off back to London, yeah?” Gordon responded sharply.
“Yeah,” Lucas agreed, “I will.”
It was for the best, Gordon would not be comfortable to see Lucas for a few weeks now, he’d get flustered and unfocused, everyone who knew would suddenly know and he’d get embarrassed. Gordon stood up and dressed himself, then headed for the door, pausing to look over at Lucas, who was watching him silently now. They shared an unspoken exchange of gratitude and appreciation, the eyes never lie and they both knew there was nothing but respect and affection expressed in that moment and then, Gordon was out the door. Lucas slowly went to his bedroom to pack his suitcase, his knees were weak and his legs wobbled but the smile never left his face until he was asleep at home in his bed in London.
When Krista got home, Justine took Savannah and baby David to their nursery to be changed and bathed. Krista went to her bedroom to change her clothes and she paused, looking down at the bed where she found Gordon, fast asleep. There was nothing that melted her heart faster than looking at him while he slept, except perhaps those first few minutes after he’d woken up. She couldn’t help but smile as she carefully sat on the bed beside him and brushed his hair gently with her fingers, stroking his cheek to try and wake him up without startling him. He didn’t even stir, just continued to breathe deeply and so she got up and changed her clothes anyway. She decided to let him sleep, if he was that tired, he must have overdone it somewhere along the line and if he could relax enough to have fallen asleep so deeply and so contentedly, then she wasn’t going to be the one that disturbed him. Gordon got plenty of sleep, but for the amount of stress he was often under and the high amount of physical exhaustion he put himself through, it wasn’t as much as what he really needed. It was unlike him to sleep during the daylight hours, she could only hope that he wasn’t coming down with something as she went to help Justine with the children while Gordon took a much needed forty winks.
“Was Gordon in the gym today?” Krista wondered, setting about to cut sandwiches and fruit for Savannah.
“I’m not sure,” Justine replied carefully, “he’s been gone for hours. Just got home about five minutes before you.”
“That explains why he didn’t wake up then,” Krista noted, “if he’s only just gone to sleep. It’s not like him to sleep during the day though.”
“It’s good that he’s getting some downtime,” Justine put a positive spin on it, “honestly, if I followed him around for a few days and did what he does, I’d have dropped months ago.”
“Ugh, me too,” Krista agreed, pouring Savannah some water into her little cup, “I don’t know where he gets the energy from.”
“You might want to make sure he slows down sometimes though,” Justine warned her.
“Oh he does,” Krista smiled, “he just doesn’t do it for very long, that’s all. I know sometimes he can push himself a bit too far, I do worry about him.. Especially when he gets that determined look in his eyes, there’s just no stopping him.”
“I’ve seen it,” Justine nodded, holding baby David in her arms gently, “I think we should just keep everything quiet and dark in the bedroom, he can grouch at us later but at least he’ll have slept for a solid few hours at least.”
“I don’t know,” Krista was torn, “it’ll mess with his ability to fall asleep tonight if I let him snooze for too long. Then what’ll happen? He’ll wake up late, you know how that makes him feel.”
Justine nodded, she knew it made him upset that hours of the day were wasted, he’d be behind and have to rush about trying to catch up.
“Maybe just for an hour or so then,” Krista compromised, “he might not enjoy losing hours in the daytime but if he’s fallen onto the bed in a heap like that, then his body is clearly demanding rest.”
“Agreed,” Justine responded favorably, wondering where he’d got to and what he’d been doing all that time after he’d left earlier today.
About an hour and a half later, Krista had finished the laundry and baby David was asleep. Savannah was colouring in her room and Justine was cleaning the kitchen, so Krista ventured back to the bedroom to see if she could wake Gordon this time. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling affectionately down at him. He hadn’t moved an inch, obviously exhausted and she really had to think hard about whether or not she really should just let him sleep.
“Poor thing,” she said softly, stopping herself from stroking his hair because he just looked so peaceful that it seemed like the wrong thing to do right now.
She gave a sigh, unsure of what to do. She decided to just leave him be, it was a risk that he’d wake up really late and be furious at her but it was one she felt that she was willing to take and as it turned out, she did the right thing. Gordon continued to sleep right on past bedtime, deep into the night and right up until dawn. He barely stirred at all, so deep was his sleep and when he finally started to show some signs of life, Krista was awake to watch the revelation of those sleepy baby blues.
“Hey,” she greeted him with a warm smile, “are you alright?”
Gordon yawned tiredly, offering her a weary yet dazzling smile right back.
“I am now,” he said slowly, rubbing one eye sleepily, “I missed you.”
Krista blushed and tilted her head, touching his cheek with her fingertips.
“I didn’t mean to stay out for so long,” she apologized, “Savannah and Lexi were just having so much fun together, then David returned home and I didn’t want to be rude and just leave without talking to him for a while.”
Gordon pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly, so she relaxed in his embrace and felt tears stinging into her eyes. She couldn’t stay mad at him anymore, she had to just let go of this anger and let things settle down between them. A sense of normalcy would be good for them and for the children too, so to let him know she was receptive from here on in, Krista kissed his chest and gave his thigh a firm squeeze.
Gordon took a moment to realize she’d finally forgiven him, it felt like a huge compression was suddenly lifted from his chest and he could at last breathe easily again. When all was right with Krista, Gordon felt absolutely no inclination to even think of looking at anyone else, he was smittenly doe eyed only for her and that was it. Krista knew that she alone ruled his heart and that he always felt the most secure and happy when she wasn’t upset with him, she needed to talk to him now and he needed to just listen. It was a good opportunity to do just that while he was here and not really doing anything, his mind had yet to completely awaken and start to make him fidgety and eager to get out and go for a run or a swim.
“Where’d you go yesterday?” Krista wondered, working up to the topic slowly.
“I went to see Lucas,” Gordon replied with a stretch and another yawn, stifled by his hand this time. Krista was quiet for a moment, she still felt terrible for embarrassing them both a few weeks ago.
“I hope he’s forgiven me,” she said quietly.
“He’s gone back to London,” Gordon informed her, “but he’s fine, darling, don’t worry about it.”
Krista nodded and sighed, but she couldn’t help her mind wandering to the question of what the pair had been doing for such a long visit.
“Did you two.. ?” Krista asked softly, her eyes lifting to meet with his and leaving the question unspoken. Her cheeks flushed red, she felt terrible for asking but he didn’t scold her. He averted his gaze after only a moment and she had her answer, Krista took up his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.
“I’m not angry,” she reassured him, “really, Gordon. I’m totally fine with it.”
She was faced then with his most puzzled expression, his eyes returning to her own.
“You’re not being very consistent,” he told her. Krista realized this and knew it to be the truth, she was patting him on the back for sleeping with Lucas and yet she’d torn him apart for a moment of weakness with those two women. Mixed messages, but she decided to attempt to clarify this for him.
“It’s not the same,” she told him, “baby, I’d have thought that with all the scandals involving Erica, you’d be more careful than that.”
Gordon had to let this information sink in for a minute, then he sat up and frowned.
“So you’re not upset that I was with them?” he concluded, “you're only pissed that I got caught?”
Krista was silent as she realized how bad that sounded, she decided to elaborate further.
“I know it means nothing with men,” she explained gently, “I know it’s something that almost never happens and once it’s done, it’s done. You both know the deal, but women aren’t like that. Especially ones you don’t know, they fall for you Gordon, they get jealous and they want you.”
“I don’t understand,” Gordon felt frustrated with the conversation already, “what are you saying? That I should find a bloody hotel next time?”
Krista sighed, sitting up with him.
“You know how you’ve left me with a closet filled with sex toys, for when you’re away for a long time?” she broke it down for him, early morning was not his sharpest hour.
“Yes.. “ Gordon spoke slowly, trying to figure out where this was going.
“Well I don’t expect you to just go without,” Krista tried again, “Gordon, if it happens.. If it’s not done with the intention of leaving me.. I can be okay with it. I just want you to be happy and safe, but I also want you to be careful.”
She felt that he was just such a loving man, always looking to please and whenever he thought he had let someone down, the sheer enormity of the devastation he took upon himself was highly detrimental to him. As a boss she found him the strictest there was, as a husband and a father she couldn’t fault him, but as a lover.. He still had yet to figure out that he was so much more loved and wanted than he obviously realized. It was a pattern she’d noticed that it was usually when he was feeling rejected or shunned by her, that’s when these things happened and she took it with a grain of salt and forgiveness. He had leeway with her because she knew what he’d been through in his life, it didn’t excuse the behavior, but it explained it a hell of a lot. He didn’t do it consciously, or out of spite, she knew this. Gordon had been minutes away from asking a woman to be his wife, the love and devotion he must have felt towards her had to have been phenomenal in order for him to have even thought of asking her to marry him. He clearly trusted her and had laid bare his heart for her, only to have it crushed and thrown back at him in pieces.
So it didn’t matter how secure he felt when things were going well, every time there was an upset between he and Krista, his subconscious would reawaken those deep seated fears of rejection and he’d unwittingly end up falling into the arms of another in an attempt to replace her the moment she called it quits with him. Krista was saddened by the realization that he was so insecure, she understood why and she knew he was unaware of it himself, so she had decided to let him know that it was okay to make mistakes, so long as he learned from them and tried harder not to repeat them.
“I’m not giving you permission to cheat on me, Gordon,” Krista told him firmly, “I’m just letting you know that I understand it happens sometimes and that you can come to me and talk to me about it. I love you, Gordon. I need you to know that and even though I get angry sometimes and tell you I’ll leave.. I never, ever will. No matter what. I don’t care. We’ll get past it, every single time and it’ll just make us stronger.”
She leaned in and hugged him, feeling him not move for a few stunned seconds and then his arms embraced her and she sighed and relaxed. He finally got it, he understood now.. Didn’t he?
The answer was yes and no, Gordon took from it what he thought she was trying to say and she could only hope that the message that got through was a positive one. Communication was so important, she was just itching to hear from him now. Gordon held her tightly against his body, closing his eyes and resting his cheek gently on top of her head. Of course it had to be her to say such things, he had nothing to complain about, she was perfect. Krista would have disagreed, if she had known his thoughts, she had a lot to learn herself and she wasn’t faultless. Her methods of dealing with her negative emotions could certainly be better, pushing him away only encouraged the resulting one night stands and she knew that she had to try and communicate with him better. He couldn’t know what she was thinking or feeling, he could only know how she was screaming or shouting, or hurling things at him in a temper.
Despite what was seen on Hell’s Kitchen and a few other shows, Gordon never shouted back at her during her rages. If she was spouting off about someone else or something that had happened, he’d sit silently in support of her until she was done. If she was blowing up at him, he may argue back heatedly but the shouting just didn’t happen. Not since that one time, with Krista he was limitlessly passive, only when she’d got it wrong did he ever talk back to her when she was lecturing him. Krista made sure never to have such fits in front of anyone, it had to be between her and Gordon alone because that’s when she knew she would get the most honest responses from him. She wouldn’t do such a thing as scream at him while he was with his mates, or out in public, because he would become instantly submissive to her and his reputation would be tarnished pretty quickly. She did get annoyed with him in public here and there, stiffening up and trying to be subtle about letting him know she was not happy but he didn’t always understand her sudden shift in mood and he’d just get confused. It was a contrast to see him out with other people, he was so confident and obnoxious when the company was drinking buddies, putting up with them jumping all over him and tackling them in response.
Yet with closer friends he’d be so charming and amusing that he’d always end up with someone’s arm around his shoulder while he ducked his head and blushed bashfully. There were two people in him that the public were aware of, there was Chef Ramsay the strict and Gordon the relaxed. But for Krista, there were more than two sides to her husband. Of course she knew Chef Ramsay and avoided him at all costs, Gordon the relaxed was for everyone to see that he wasn’t just a shouting, swearing perfectionist and that he could joke around and hand out positive advice just like anyone else. Gordon cared about people, he really, truly, deeply cared about them, even if he didn’t know them. It was his first instinct to help someone in need, to try and help them sort things out and build them up whenever necessary. He gave of himself so much in any relationship, whether it be people he hadn’t met, people he’d known for a while or the love of his life; he never did anything half heartedly. Because people weren’t always inclined to return such generosity, Gordon usually set himself up for a lot of pain and frustration, which only added to his stress but it never stopped him from reaching out, he was just that kind of man.
The other sides to him that only Krista got to see were the doting daddy to his children and the cuddly bunny that wanted nothing more than to just curl up on the sofa with her and simply exist. Because she knew it was difficult, if somewhat impossible, for him to be still, Krista appreciated those moments of perfect quality time with Gordon so much more than she ever would have imagined before they had met. She had grown and matured as a person, she’d been there for him when he was at his most broken and unlovable, so she would continue to be there for him until the day one of them stopped breathing. Nothing would ever drive them apart, she knew he’d never leave her for another woman and despite his insecurities, she would never leave him for anything he did or said. Of course, that wasn’t to say she’d be a doormat either. If she ever realized he did anything upsetting just because he thought he could get away with it and she’d just forgive him, she would certainly make sure he knew that this was unacceptable.
She had nothing to really worry about though, Gordon was tied to her with unbreakable bonds and nobody could ever persuade him to even think of attempting to escape from them. He loved her, more than anything in the world and he tried to prove it to her day after day. She knew that in time, he would grow out of this phase of his life where every pretty lady who winked at him stood at least half a chance with him under the right circumstances, she just needed to be patient and encourage the growth of his maturity without killing off his playful side.
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(page 11: http://luv-bowie-luver.livejournal.com/60415.html)