You got served

[luvjj]

I met this man in a Starbucks in may. Saw each other a time, we got along immediatly. He's half french half algerian and muslim.
And he's a doctor.
The only problem was that he's 35 and I'm 23. Major age gap. But I was okay with it.
He pissed me off once because he's was freaking out about the age gap. I mean fuck, who should be freaking out?

Comments

[yue_yue]

O_O!!!!!!......o_O!!!!! O:>

wow.
do you even like him?...I mean if you marry him, you'll see him every day for the rest of your life..at least you should like him

[luvjj]

I probably wrong but I never thought marriage was a matter of love; for me it's a mtter of respect. And then love may come with time.
Let's say I...appreciate him.

[yue_yue]

well..I am a divorce child, so yeah..love does pay a big role for me, since I think my father married my mom mostly because she was pregnant and not because he was so in love..

[luvjj]

I wish my parents got divorced because they only stay together because of their children but have arguments almost everyday. I know my mother is not happy because of my father. And I hate how disrespectful he could be to her. So I guess I could do just fine if my husband respected me like I know I deserve to be.

[crimeis]

i never thought marriage was a matter of love as well. agreed agreed not that i will be getting married any time soon but if my parents asked me to, i'd probably jump the bandwagon and find someone that fits their criteria of a perfect husband for me. and my parents would have the same reactions as yours.

[luvjj]

If I could I would be married tomorrow. They're so pressuring me into finding a husband quickly and I only 23! Sometime when they go to far I think I'm just going to marry the first guy who come to my eyes just so I could be done with that marriage thing.
for exemple a male friend is inviting me and his bestfriend to Italiathis may and my mother said no, I won't let you travel unless you get married. Then you could go with your husband. And she's fucking serious

[crimeis]

homg, i completely agree with you! :D when they pressure me like that, gosh i gave them the glare and was all like thinking, 'fine i'll marry the first person i set my eyes on' haha. we need hugs. *huggs* ♥

[luvjj]

We're not the only one! Parents should stop harrassing their daughters into getting married since they're 10!

The sister of a good friend did exactly what we were taling about; she married the first guy that came to ask for the permission from her parent, she said yes, married him, made him sleep on the couch 3 months and then got divorsed.
When her parents asked her why, she said "you wanted me to get married right? I got married and now I'm getting a divorce and I'll do whatever I want because I'm not coming back home."

Sadly I'm too much of a coward to do the same thing.

Yes let's hug! *cries on you shoulder*

[evilsupergirl]

maybe it's a culture thing but my folks would freak if I said I was thinking of marring someone I met in May (or at all since I still have no job... live at home...) Marriage is the last thing on their minds for me. Or any of their kids

[luvjj]

It is a culture thing. It's close to harrassement, paents likemine talk about marriage to their daughter since young.
I was probably 8; They were all joking at that time, saying that my grandma married at 13 but well I was a child and it scared me. And it's the only topic they all talk about, cousins, uncles, aunts it's not just my parents they all the word marriage in their mouth.

I think I'll probably do that. Wait for a while.
And as for being attractiv...I have an eye illness called dong bang boys, it causes me to find everybody except 3 or 4 korean men ugly. Actally he's average, he's not ugly but he's not Yunho lol.

[fairy219]

Hi there

[luvjj]

Thank you for taking the time to read it and to reply to me. Thank you very much.

I can't present him to my family because if I do present him, if he comes home, it will only mean that I am going to mary him. It's not in our traditions to bring boyfriends home, we don't even talk about them, as long as there is no mariage topic in sight the guy could be with you for 10 years he simply doesn't exist.

The problem is I talked about him to my mother. She didn't like the age gap. She didn't like the fact he didn't try to contact me more since august. And I'm sure after I say that she'll hate him. She just like the fact that he's a doctor and could gave me the secure future she dreamed for me to have.

You'll laugh but when you said "you know it's right when you stop asking yourself questions" I thought about it a lot and said to myself "yeah it's true! If it were for Yunho it might have been hell with my family since he's not muslim and they would certainly go as far as disown me but I would have done it without thinking twice for him

[fairy219]

btw the guy sounds like a good person. I have a thing about Algerians xD
my husband has a lot of Algerians friends and they're really really really nice.
One of them that we're really close to married a Japanese. I'm pretty close to the wife.
Another who was my husband best man on our wedding, he's really good looking and I was trying to set him up with my Muslim friend xDDD but didn't work out :P he ended up marrying a very nice Algerian girl. I really like her.

[luvjj]

He really is a good peron? He has good education he's calm tempered, he could have lied to me but he said it now because we're not too involved emotionaly yet so I could reason with my brain and not with my heart (that' what he said).
They are nice??? Well most algerian are always angry always yelling, think their woman are employes. And the good onees know how algerian girl are (too much pesonality, mood swings.......) so they marry to non muslim girls. Guys can do it but women no T_T
Where do you live honey?

[fairy219]

I live in Australia (but grew up in Indonesia). I don't know much about Algerian cultures but the Algerians I know are nice people (and good looking! xD)

I'm glad to hear you're taking it easy. There are other doctors out there. And it's very important to get to know him better. Especially, quoting you they may "think their woman are employees". You don't want to end up being treated like that. Definitely not.

And I believe there will be a Yunho out there that you will meet and marry without having to ask yourself so many questions.

When I decided to get married, I never even thought if he's the one because we dated for four years and we both know we're meant for each other and will get married everntually. It was just a matter of kicking our butts and actually plan a wedding.

There wasn't even any proposals or anything. he got a job in another state and my parents being asian won't let me move with him unless we're married. So we were like 'sure, why not'.