ksbigbang Post - Alternative Serendipity - NC-17 - Part 3/5
Title: Alternative Serendipity
Author: luvsbitca
Artists: amechiro and numberthescars
All Information in Part 01
Part 01
Part 02
/ / / Tarsus IV \ \ \
Spock was alerted to the breach to his personal quarters three minutes and thirty six seconds before the end of the lecture he was giving on quantum mechanics to a group of first year students as a favour to his own lecturer from his time at the academy, Professor Carter. He completed his lecture and left the hall without waiting for the questions that were customary. He instead asked anyone interested to forward him an email to which he would respond.
He made it back to his apartment eleven minutes exactly after he had been notified and instead of an intruder found Jane Kirk asleep on his bed, her sock-covered feet still on the floor. Spock watched her for a moment before he walked over and touched her cheek. Overwhelming tiredness floated to him without needing to enter her mind, so he settled her comfortably on his bed. His room was warmer than any other on campus so he refrained from covering her with a blanket. He left her in his bedroom and went into the living room where his personal terminal was located. He composed a quick message to Professor Carter to inform her of his need to leave the lecture without waiting for questions.
Six hours after he returned to his apartment, Jane was still asleep in his bedroom. Spock checked on her and found no change. He knew she should have woken by now. He would have melded with her to ensure that she was not injured in some way but Jane was still unsure if she even wanted to keep the bond they had. A meld would only make their bond stronger than it already was. Spock accessed his terminal and placed a call to Dr McCoy. Ten minutes and thirty-eight seconds later the doctor knocked on his door and stepped inside.
“What the hell happened?”
“I am unsure, Doctor. I received a message that someone had gained illegal access to my quarters and when I returned she was asleep. I could sense tiredness from her but six hours, ten minutes and fifty-nine seconds have passed since then and she has not moved.”
The doctor went into the bedroom and began scanning Jane.
“She’s asleep,” Dr McCoy said. “Not a surprise, she’s barely been sleeping this last week. She won’t tell me why, but she’s been existing on coffee and pancakes for a couple of days and I keep finding her in the library in the middle of the night. I can get a medical trolley brought here and I’ll take her back to her room.
Spock shook his head. “Jane came to my quarters for a reason. If she is sleeping then she is welcome to do so here and when she wakes I can ascertain why she is here.”
McCoy nodded. “Send me a message every four hours. If she isn’t awake in the morning I will come back.”
Spock nodded. “I appreciate your assistance, Doctor.”
“I’m leaving behind a couple of hypos. This one has vitamin and mineral supplements and this one has an immunity booster with hydration enhancers. Try and get her to eat when she wakes up.”
“I shall endeavour to ensure she is correctly looked after.”
McCoy hesitated, watching Jane.
“I shall ensure she is safe and well looked after. I would allow no harm to come to her.”
McCoy looked at Spock warily but then nodded. “I believe that.”
Thirteen hours and forty-three minutes after Spock received notification that someone had entered his room illegally, Jane woke up. Spock was meditating, but the subtle changes in her breathing were enough to pull him from his meditations.
“Spock?” Jane said, her voice sounding sleepy and hoarse.
“Jane.” Spock rose from his position on the floor and obtained a glass of water before presenting it to her. She took a slow sip while he continued to speak. “You have been asleep.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting up.
Spock held up his hand to stop her from continuing. “You have no reason to apologise. Dr McCoy said that you had not been sleeping. I am pleased you were able to remedy that situation.”
Jane moved back against the headboard. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I am here?”
“I believe you will tell me when you are ready.”
“I got an assignment on Monday,” Jane said.
“That was five days ago.”
“I haven’t slept since,” Jane said quietly. “The assignment was asking me to explain in detail what I would do on Tarsus IV in a number of situations.”
“I completed that assignment myself,” Spock said. “However, you were actually on Tarsus IV.”
“I haven’t told anyone about the fact I was there and I haven’t been able to write the assignment, but the nightmares are back. You already know about it.”
Spock nodded. “Would you like to discuss your time there?”
“No,” Jane said. “Could I…could I write it here? I just wanted someone who knew and…I’m glad it was you.”
“You are welcome to stay for as long as you require.”
“I hate the way people look at me,” Jane said. “When they find out I was there. I know you saw it all in the dream, but I hate having to tell people about it.”
“We do not need to discuss it if you do not want to.”
“I don’t know if I do or don’t,” Jane admitted. “Every time I try to start writing, I think about Tommy or Kevin and the terror. The stupidest thing is that the most terrifying parts are not even in the books about it. They don’t mention Kodos’ special children. He thought he could use us to create a perfect breed of humans.”
“I remember,” Spock said.
Some of the tension left Jane’s shoulders. “I love that you don’t feel sorry for me.”
“I cannot change what happened to you, however, I…do not…”
“Thank you,” Jane said smiling at him gently.
“I was instructed,” Spock said, changing the topic. “To feed you when you awoke. Do you believe you could eat?”
Jane’s stomach rumbled.
“I had planned to make myself a vegetable stir-fry,” Spock said. “It should not take me long to cook. Would you like something to eat in the meantime?”
“Don’t supposed you have any biscuits?”
“I do,” Spock said and went to his cupboard. He handed her a packet of biscuits and then picked up the two hyposprays. “Doctor McCoy left these for you.”
“Course he did,” Jane said and twisted her neck. “Do it quickly, please.”
Spock placed the first against her neck and squeezed to release the medication. Jane let out a hiss. Spock repeated the process and when he was done Jane rubbed at the spot.
“I apologise for the discomfort caused.”
“You know,” Jane said. “That didn’t hurt as badly as it does when Bones does it.”
“I shall take that as a compliment,” Spock said. He turned to his drawers and pulled out some sleep pants and an old academy top. “Should you wish to shower, feel free. You may use these clothes.”
Jane stood up and carried the box of biscuits with her. “I will. Thank you.”
Spock directed her to his bathroom and turned to begin preparing their meal. Jane took longer in the shower than Spock expected, and she used the water feature. He could only assume she found the shower a therapeutic place.
She walked out and the scent of Spock’s own shampoo and soap rushed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He knew she would smell of him and it took him a moment to control the possessive tug that knowledge gave him. It was not as good as it would be if she were to be covered in his actual scent, but for now it tugged at the barrier behind which their bond was locked.
“Thank you,” Jane said coming into the kitchen. “That was exactly what I needed.”
“You’re welcome. If you require anything else, simply ask.”
Jane watched him as he mixed a sauce for the stir-fry.
“You do know,” Jane said leaning against one of his cupboards. “Why the idea of this bond terrifies me.”
“You do not believe that anything is permanent,” Spock replied.
“Nothing is. Everyone leaves eventually.”
“That is not the Vulcan way,” Spock said and stirred the cooking vegetables in front of him. “If we were to bond, it would be permanent.”
“Until you grew sick of me, until you realised I’m not worth it.”
“I know everything,” Spock reminded her. “I know you are worth more than you believe you are.”
Jane stared at him.
“You have not been treated as you should have been, Jane. I am not those people. I would not treat you that way.”
“So you want the bond?”
“I will wait for you to make a decision about what you want.”
“But what do you want?”
Spock turned the heat down under the pan and looked at Jane, giving her his full attention. “I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you even better than I already do.”
“Is that the bond talking?”
“The bond is locked behind a wall.”
“But it has a mind of its own. It shared our memories.”
“It has no power over us,” Spock said. “I know your past. I would be honoured to know your future as well.”
Jane took a step back from him. Spock nodded once and turned back to the food.
“I shall wait for you to make a decision.”
“If it were not for the bond I would have done something stupid by now.”
“If it were not for the bond you would know whatever you wish to do is not stupid.”
“Can I put on some music?”
“Of course, my player is on the wall.”
Spock watched her retreat. She flicked through his music discs until she settled on one she was happy with and Spock was surprised when the music began to play.
“This is my mother’s favourite music.”
“I know,” Jane said. She did not come back into the kitchen but found a seat and watched him instead. “Your mother is bonded to a Vulcan.”
“Yes.”
“How inappropriate would it be for me to ask to speak to her about all of this?”
“Not inappropriate at all.” Spock quickly calculated the time on Vulcan. “There will be time to contact her when we have finished eating.”
“You don’t have to rush,” Jane said.
“It is early for my weekly communication, however my mother will not be inconvenienced.”
“Right,” Jane said with a smile. “You call her every week.”
“She appreciates knowing about my life.”
Jane smiled. “That must be nice.”
“It is…” Spock thought of what he knew of Jane’s mother. “She will be inclined towards motherly affection for you.”
Jane picked up the book on Spock’s table. “I love paper books.”
“As do I,” Spock said. “I have more. I shall show them to you. But for now, it is time to eat.”
Jane stood and came over to the table. “I should have offered to help.”
“Sit and enjoy,” Spock said, sitting across from her. “My mother would say you are a guest and, as such, you should not help.”
Jane smiled. “It smells amazing.”
When they had eaten and Spock had tidied away the dishes, he pulled up the information to contact his mother. A standard message appeared instead of the Vulcan subspace telecommunications image.
“There must be interference,” Jane said over Spock’s shoulder.
“Yes.” Spock shut down the connection. “When it is repaired, I shall contact her. I am sure she would be more than willing to help you in any way she can.”
Jane smiled. “I like her.”
“As she will like you.”
“May I use your terminal to work on my assignment? I want to get out of your hair as quickly as I can.”
“You may use the terminal, but do not feel that you must rush.”
Jane smiled at him and went to the terminal to pull up her assignment. She stared at the words for a long time before she began to write.
My name is Jane Kirk, and I was on Tarsus IV. The following is an accurate account of what I did when faced with the following situations.
When my family was murdered in front of me but I was spared, I took the people weaker than me and we hid.
When there was no food, I killed rats or stole from the guards and shared the most with the youngest.
When faced with Governor Kodos, I fought even though I was starved and weak.
When his men came for us, we hid.
When the Federation finally came, I went home and tried to forget.
I survived Tarsus IV.
“That’s all she’s getting,” Jane said, sitting back.
“You have been sitting there for twenty-eight minutes. What was the requested word count?”
“Seven hundred and fifty words per scenario. I wrote a hundred and three and I dare her to fail me.”
Spock knew her stance was illogical and yet he did not argue with her. “Chess?”
“Yes.”
/ / / Amanda’s Help \ \ \
“Spock, what a welcome surprise,” Amanda said when she had finished greeting him. “It’s later than you normally call.”
“It is,” Spock agreed. “There was a problem with interspace communication on Earth.”
“Why are you whispering?” He noted that his mother’s voice had dropped in volume to match his.
“There is something about which I must inform you.”
“Go ahead,” she said and Spock could hear the note of worry in her tone.
“On the day that I was exposed to the gas caused by the chemical fire in the laboratory, I was assisted in rescuing some occupants of the lab by a woman named Jane Kirk. While under the effects of the drug, she touched me. At this time we formed a bond. The dreams I mentioned to you were a manifestation of this bond. Over a month ago at a chance meeting, we touched again during an earthquake and I was made aware of the connection we shared. It was confirmed by Healer T’Penn, who classified the bond as being a Katra Bond.” Spock’s father stepped into the viewer behind his mother and Spock inclined his head in greeting without pausing in his story. “Jane asked that the bond be blocked and we have been…I believe you call it, getting to know one another. This evening she asked if you, Mother, would be willing to discuss your own experiences of being a human in a Vulcan bond.”
“Of course,” his mother said immediately. “You love her.”
“I find her fascinating and wish to explore our bond further.”
“Spock,” Amanda started and then shook her head. “I would be most pleased to talk to her whenever it suits her.”
“She is presently asleep after an emotionally traumatic day and I wished to ascertain your agreement.”
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Amanda said.
“T’Penn was certain of the Katra Bond?” Sarek asked.
“She was. She melded with us both and ascertained that the dreams I was having were actually memories shared by our subconscious minds during sleep to develop the bond.”
“An unusual bond communication.”
“At the time of our bonding we did not know one another. T’Penn assured me that our katras are exceptionally well suited and warned that the process of breaking the bond could be difficult.”
“How are you?” His mother asked slipping into a break in conversation. “About the bond?”
“I have found it to be an effective method of learning much about Jane’s past and personality. I believe us to be as compatible as T’Penn stated, however Jane is wary of such a sudden bond. Jane is quite different from me in many areas, however there are just as many areas of commonality.”
“No, Spock,” his mother said. “How do you feel about being bonded to her? Would you like to keep the bond or have it severed?”
Spock paused for a moment to plan his response. “Jane is hesitant to allow the bond to grow and I am leaving the decision up to her.”
He could see the little line of frustration she got between her eyebrows when he was being ‘overly Vulcan’. “I am your mother and I do not wish to know what she wants, I want to know what you would do.”
“I would open the bond between us and work to strengthen it.”
“Thank you,” Amanda said. “I will be on the next transport to Earth.”
“There is no need.”
Amanda rolled her eyes. It was an action he had only seen a few times in his childhood, but it meant she thought Vulcans all very ridiculous.
“I will be there as soon as I can.”
Spock opened his mouth to speak, however she cut off the communication, without goodbyes, before he could. Very unusual.
Spock turned around to find Jane still curled up at one end of his couch. It could not be a comfortable position in which to sleep. Spock walked over while he closed himself off completely and lifted her into his arms. The walk to his bed was short and he deposited her onto the mattress. She turned into his retreating arms and then settled again.
Spock set himself to his meditation while she slept. As with last time, her presence was, surprisingly, not a hindrance to his meditations. His breathing matched hers as he slipped into his own mind.
Jane left the following morning. However, she did so more relaxed in Spock’s presence than she had been before.
/ / / Amanda’s Visit \ \ \
A week after their communication, Spock’s mother arrived.
“Spock,” she said with a broad smile when he met her at the transportation site. She touched her fingers to his cheek in greeting. “I have missed you.”
“We spoke a week ago.”
“It’s not the same.”
Amanda threaded her arm through her son’s as soon as he had taken her bag from her.
“When can I meet your Jane?”
“I do not own her. I have asked her to join us at my accommodation for dinner tonight.”
“That sounds good. Do you have to return to your work?”
“I do not.”
“Then we can drop my bag at the hotel and you can show me around San Francisco.”
“We have been here together before.”
“But you didn’t have a possible bondmate to tell me about then.”
“That is not entirely truthful. I had T’Pring.”
“I know,” Amanda said with a sigh. “I cannot say I am sorry that she will not be my daughter-in-law.”
“Jane has not consented to allowing the bond to develop to that point.”
“Yes, but how could she resist you?” His mother asked, smiling. She always smiled more when she was on Earth, more than she did within their home.
“I am confident it would not be difficult to resist me if she were to choose to. She has an exceptionally strong mind."
"That's not my point, ashal-veh.”
"I am aware, Mother. Would you enjoy a walk around the bay? We can visit the tea store you like."
"That sounds delightful, Spock."
/ / / Jane Meets Amanda \ \ \
“Mother,” Spock said, watching his mother as she brushed her hair.
Amanda turned to look at her son and burst into laughter. “Do not worry, Spock. I shall be on my very best behaviour.”
“Would you like me to prepare shur t'bertakk for our meal along with the vegetarian parcels?”
Amanda smirked at him. “That sounds very nice. Will you be preparing it as I do?”
“I have a taste for your variations on traditional Vulcan dishes.”
His mother smiled at him and the doorbell rang. Spock looked at the door. “Jane is early.”
“Are you not going to get the door?”
“It is unusual,” Spock said and then walked to the door to find Jane standing on the other side.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m early but I could not sit there any longer.”
“As you know you are welcome to visit at any time,” Spock said and stood to the side. “Please enter and I shall introduce you to my mother.”
“She’s here already?”
“I arrived this afternoon,” Spock’s mother said coming to stand next to him. “It is lovely to meet you, Jane.”
“Hello,” Jane smiled at Spock’s mother.
/ J \ / a \ / n \ / e \
Spock’s mother smiled at her and Jane could tell it was genuine. It looked nothing like the smile her own mother would have worn at a meeting like this one.
“Jane,” Spock said and turned to his mother. “This is my mother, Amanda Grayson.”
“Hello, Amanda.”
“Come in,” Spock said. “I am just about to begin cooking our meal.”
“And you and I can sit and talk,” Amanda said, catching Jane’s hand in a light squeeze.
Jane nodded and followed the older woman over to the chairs. In her dreams, Winona Kirk had been overlaid on everything Amanda did. The strange part being that Jane’s own mother was never as loving nor as affectionate as the Winona in the dreams had been. For a woman who had rarely touched her son in public, or in private, Amanda was the most affectionate mother that Jane had ever seen. It felt strange to know her and to be a stranger to her. With Spock the intimate knowledge was shared, but with Amanda Jane knew things that the older woman did not.
“My son informed me you wish to know more about the bonding between a human and a Vulcan.”
“Yes,” Jane said, unable to look Amanda in the eye.
“Is something wrong?”
“Did he tell you about the dreams?”
“He did. In fact, I know quite a lot about them. I hope that does not make you uncomfortable.”
“No, the best dreams always involved you,” Jane said. “You always looked like my own mother, but you never acted as she did.”
“I do not know if I should hope that she was a better mother than I was or not.”
Jane looked towards the kitchen. “I think I need some water, would you like some?”
“That would be most welcome,” Amanda said and her eyes were so warm that Jane could not even look at them.
Spock turned when she entered the kitchen. “Do you require something?”
“Water, please.” Jane looked at the perfect cubes of vegetable and the parts that had been on the ends, around the edges, that were misshapen. Something about it seemed so fitting right now. She turned away and looked at him. His face was soft, or it appeared soft. She could never tell if the way she was reading him was correct or not. He often wore the same Vulcan expression, but she swore she could see minor changes that told her what he was thinking.
“For my mother as well?”
“Please.”
Spock collected two glasses from one of the high cupboards and filled them. Jane knew she had feelings for him and she definitely wanted him, but she knew there was no such thing as forever and no bond would change that. The bond may just make everything worse. Then she would miss having him in her head as well as everywhere else.
Spock handed her the two glasses. “Do you require anything else?”
“No, thanks.”
Jane turned and went back into the living room. She handed Amanda her glass and sat again.
“I am sorry if I said anything wrong.”
“You didn’t,” Jane assured her.
“What would you like to talk about?”
“What has Spock told you?”
“When he was having the dreams and did not know what they were, he contacted me. I asked him to write them down so that we could try and work out why he was dreaming. T’Pess is often on Earth, but was not at that time. I read some of what he sent me but then he contacted me to tell me the dreams had stopped. He did not inform me, or his father, of the bond until last week.”
“And you hopped straight on a transport.”
“I wanted to meet you. His father is less curious than I and has a number of responsibilities. I left him on Vulcan and came here to meet you and because I miss Spock. I have not seen him in over a year.”
“I haven’t seen my mother in nine years.”
“She must miss you.”
Jane scoffed. “I don’t think so.”
Amanda looked at her with sad eyes. “I am sorry for her; everything I have learned about you tells me it is her loss.”
“I have my brother and we talk fairly regularly.”
“I was not able to provide Spock with a sibling.”
“He has Sybok.”
“He does, however they are very far apart in age and Spock is still separated from him due to his mixed parentage. I know it has been difficult for him.”
Jane thought about the dreams she’d had of being bullied, of being picked apart methodically with words. Jane herself had been bullied a little by her peers and extensively by Frank. Yet that felt different from the words of Vulcan children who used logic to bully. She knew it had been difficult for Spock as well, but he had always felt loved and protected by his mother and that had given him strength to ignore the bullies. Except when they chose to use her against him. Jane had woken up that morning with aching knuckles and a righteous smile on her face.
Jane smiled at her. “He loves you very much.”
“I know,” Amanda said.
“It’s not my place, but I’ve been in his head and I just thought you should know that he says it every time you do. He’s just got that stick up his arse and can’t seem to open his mouth.”
Amanda laughed, causing Spock to step out of the kitchen section of his apartment and stare at them.
“It’s nothing, Spock,” Jane assured him.
“I have always known how he felt.” Amanda paused to look at the doorway Spock had left through. “One thing you should get used to about Vulcans: they do not know how much repression is good for them.”
Jane looked at Amanda questioningly.
“They repress because they feel too much, too strongly, however, they have never found a balance. At least few of the Vulcans I know have. With Spock, you will need to see what he does as much as you will need to listen to what he is not quite saying.”
“I don’t know what I am going to do.”
“If there were no bond, would you be dating my son?”
“Would he be dating me?” Jane asked. “He never dates anyone. Uhura threw herself at him, and she makes a lot more sense than I do. He brushed her off.”
“I have seen the way he looks at you.”
“But that’s just the bond.”
“That is not how a bond works.”
“But ours is weird, isn’t it? It made us share our memories.”
“A bond is there to strengthen the relationship between two Vulcans. It is there to meet their telepathic needs.”
“What does it do for a human?”
“It allows me to see the parts of my husband that he chooses not to show anyone but me.”
“And what if he changes his mind and finds someone more compatible?”
“That is not how Vulcans are. They are steadfast and the bond is such that it allows the two bondmates to grow together as well as growing as people.”
“If you could go back, would you make the same decisions?” Jane paused and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“There are difficulties, as there are for any relationship, however I would not give Sarek or Spock up for a chance to live on Earth again. Or for the chance to live a more…familiar life.”
“What would you do in my situation?” Jane asked after sitting silently for a few long minutes.
Amanda laughed. “I am biased. I know what my son wants and I want that for him.”
Jane thought about asking what Spock wanted but she already knew the answer.
“Do you eat meat?” Amanda asked suddenly.
“I do.”
“Excellent, tomorrow I shall take you out for a meal with meat in it and we can talk some more. For now, I believe dinner is almost ready.”
“It is,” Spock said appearing at the door. “If both of you are.”
“We are,” Jane said standing up.
The rest of the evening was spent with Amanda sharing stories from Vulcan and Spock’s childhood. Jane enjoyed hearing her perspective.
/ / / Meal \ \ \ / J \ / a \ / n \ / e \
Amanda called Jane early the next morning.
“I hope I am not waking you.”
“No, no,” Jane said, running her fingers through her hair as she lied.
Amanda laughed. “I apologise, Vulcans are early risers and I have picked up the trait over the years.”
“It’s not a problem. I just normally sleep in on Sundays.”
“I was calling to see if you were available to join me for lunch. A friend told me about a lovely restaurant overlooking the bay and they were able to fit me in. I will call Spock if you are not able to come.”
“No,” Jane said, closing her eyes for a second to think about what she needed to do that day. “I can come, what time?”
“Half past eleven, at Obsidian Rocks.”
“I’ve heard about that place,” Jane said. “It’s impossible to get a table.”
“I am the wife of a Vulcan diplomat,” Amanda said with a smile in her voice. “And I am not afraid of using that position occasionally.”
Jane laughed. “I’ll see you then.”
“Excellent.”
Jane spent more time getting ready than she would like to admit. She washed her hair and bribed Gaila into doing it for her. The Orion negotiated a heavy price for the early morning wake up and the hair styling, but Jane wanted to make a good impression and she had never in her life been somewhere like Obsidian Rocks. As soon as Uhura heard where she was going, the linguist joined in on the makeover and before Jane knew it she was dressed in a dress (one of the few she had ever worn) and looked better than she had possibly ever looked. She had done all of this herself yesterday; something about being in Spock’s apartment had made her feel less anxious about that meeting. This time, alone, in a restaurant, Amanda would not have to censor herself for her son’s sake.
“You’re going to wow his mum,” Galia said.
“Who’s mum?” Uhura asked with her head buried in a drawer.
“Spock’s,” Gaila said. “She’s going to lunch with Spock’s mum.”
Uhura turned her dark eyes onto Jane and quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Good luck.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Uhura said and wound a vibrant blue scarf around Jane’s neck. “Now, go.”
Jane arrived at the restaurant early to ensure she wasn’t late and found Amanda stepping out of a taxi.
“Excellent timing,” Amanda said, walking them both into the restaurant.
The restaurant was even more opulent than Jane was expecting. She tried not to be obvious as she looked around attempting to take it all in.
“I heard they make excellent food,” Amanda whispered into her ear. “Or I would have gone down to Fisherman’s Wharf and had a burger…I might do that for dinner.”
“Kel’niko’s?” Jane asked.
“You know it?”
Jane let out a quiet moan. “I love that place.”
“Next time,” Amanda said and Jane relaxed next to her.
“May I help you?” The maître-de asked.
“Booking under Grayson for two,” Amanda said with a smile.
“Of course, please follow me.”
“Wow,” Jane said when they walked into the actual dining room. The walls were all glass and afforded every part of the room a view down onto the bay and, in the distance, the Bay Bridge.
“Yes,” Amanda said and they were led all the way through the restaurant to a table by the window.
Once Jane and Amanda were sitting Amanda smiled at her.
“I have never been here before, but it is quite impressive,” Amanda said with a soft smile.
“Very.”
“I’m going to have to have a word to my son about spoiling his girlfriend a bit more.”
“Did he call me his girlfriend?”
“No,” Amanda said, opening her menu. “I’m just hopeful it will only be a matter of time.”
Jane couldn’t resist laughing.
They ordered and then Amanda looked at Jane. “What do you wish to know about Vulcan bonding?”
“Can you explain it to me?”
“When I agreed to marry Sarek, he and I entered into a betrothal bond; it was a shallow bond. I could feel some of his emotions and when we were touching I could feel some of his thoughts. When we went to Vulcan and were bonded, we entered into a marriage bond and our minds were linked. I have very little psychic ability, however the bond allows me to feel his emotions, allows me to share his thoughts and he mine. I have learned to block him from the bond when needed and of course there are things that I do not allow to pass through the bond. Most of the time, unless thoughts or emotions are very strong, they do not get passed through the bond unless we push them. When I was pregnant with Spock, I went into labour early and Sarek was in another city on Vulcan. He felt my pain and returned to my side.”
“I always got the impression Sarek and Spock have a difficult relationship.”
“They do,” Amanda said. “Sarek worries that Spock will share the path of Sybok and choose emotionalism due to his human heritage and Spock feels he can never do enough to please his father.”
Jane stared at Amanda for a moment.
“Did you not expect me to answer?”
“I just keep remembering how reserved you were, in Spock’s memories. Though that was mainly in public. I keep expecting you to be more Vulcan and I don’t know why.”
“I chose to live my life with a Vulcan on Vulcan. I learned how to act as one for my husband and son but I have always been human and I have never tried to hide that from my son. It has caused tension when Sarek wished to teach Spock how to be truly Vulcan but I only want my son to be whatever he wishes to be.”
Jane nodded and looked down at her meal. She focussed on the chicken and thought about everything Amanda had told her.
“Spock cares for you,” Amanda said quietly a few minutes later. “I am honest with you because I do not want you to think being with Spock will be like the relationships you have shared with human men.”
“I don’t really do relationships,” Jane admitted. “I don’t believe in anything being permanent.”
Amanda nodded. “If you chose Spock, it will be permanent.”
“I know.”
“And that is what terrifies you.”
Jane took a deep breath and nodded.
Amanda smiled at her. “I could think of worse people to share your life with.”
Jane let out a bark of laughter and couldn’t stop. “Sorry, sorry.”
“Do not apologise.”
“Can a bond be severed?”
“Yes, a Vulcan healer can remove a bond.”
“Even a bond like the one Spock and I have?”
“I am not sure; I have not heard of that type of bond before.”
“Can Sarek control you through the bond?”
Amanda smiled. “He cannot. Though perhaps he wishes he could influence me more at times.”
“Do you feel that you have lost privacy? My mind is the only place where no one can…” Jane trailed off not knowing how to fit everything into one word.
“I feel that I share all of myself with my husband and he with me. It is perhaps not the relationship some would like, but it is the one I have chosen. I hide things from him and the bond and he would never invade my privacy by intruding on things I have hidden.”
“But he could?”
“As all telepathic species can.”
Jane nodded.
“If you are not sure about the bond, perhaps you can make a decision about Spock. I know he has the bond cut off at the moment. Would you consider giving him a chance and seeing if you are compatible before you make a decision about the bond?”
“Do you think he would be willing to keep the bond closed while we dated?”
Amanda shrugged delicately. “That is a question for Spock.”
“Would you be willing to have me contact you if I have more questions?”
“Of course,” Amanda said with a grin. “Whatever you decide, I would definitely like to remain in contact.”
“Why?”
“I like you, Jane.” Amanda said. “I can see why my son does too.”
Jane allowed silence to claim the table while she thought and the next time Amanda spoke it had nothing to do with Spock, Vulcan or bonding.
“Have you ever been to Canada?”
“I spent some time there after high school.”
“I have a brother who lives up there.”
“You and Spock have spent Christmases there,” Jane said.
“We have. I am going tomorrow to see him. I haven’t been in two years.”
The rest of their lunch was spent discussing anything but Vulcans or bonding.
TBC...
Part 04
Part 05
Author: luvsbitca
Artists: amechiro and numberthescars
All Information in Part 01
Part 01
Part 02
/ / / Tarsus IV \ \ \
Spock was alerted to the breach to his personal quarters three minutes and thirty six seconds before the end of the lecture he was giving on quantum mechanics to a group of first year students as a favour to his own lecturer from his time at the academy, Professor Carter. He completed his lecture and left the hall without waiting for the questions that were customary. He instead asked anyone interested to forward him an email to which he would respond.
He made it back to his apartment eleven minutes exactly after he had been notified and instead of an intruder found Jane Kirk asleep on his bed, her sock-covered feet still on the floor. Spock watched her for a moment before he walked over and touched her cheek. Overwhelming tiredness floated to him without needing to enter her mind, so he settled her comfortably on his bed. His room was warmer than any other on campus so he refrained from covering her with a blanket. He left her in his bedroom and went into the living room where his personal terminal was located. He composed a quick message to Professor Carter to inform her of his need to leave the lecture without waiting for questions.
Six hours after he returned to his apartment, Jane was still asleep in his bedroom. Spock checked on her and found no change. He knew she should have woken by now. He would have melded with her to ensure that she was not injured in some way but Jane was still unsure if she even wanted to keep the bond they had. A meld would only make their bond stronger than it already was. Spock accessed his terminal and placed a call to Dr McCoy. Ten minutes and thirty-eight seconds later the doctor knocked on his door and stepped inside.
“What the hell happened?”
“I am unsure, Doctor. I received a message that someone had gained illegal access to my quarters and when I returned she was asleep. I could sense tiredness from her but six hours, ten minutes and fifty-nine seconds have passed since then and she has not moved.”
The doctor went into the bedroom and began scanning Jane.
“She’s asleep,” Dr McCoy said. “Not a surprise, she’s barely been sleeping this last week. She won’t tell me why, but she’s been existing on coffee and pancakes for a couple of days and I keep finding her in the library in the middle of the night. I can get a medical trolley brought here and I’ll take her back to her room.
Spock shook his head. “Jane came to my quarters for a reason. If she is sleeping then she is welcome to do so here and when she wakes I can ascertain why she is here.”
McCoy nodded. “Send me a message every four hours. If she isn’t awake in the morning I will come back.”
Spock nodded. “I appreciate your assistance, Doctor.”
“I’m leaving behind a couple of hypos. This one has vitamin and mineral supplements and this one has an immunity booster with hydration enhancers. Try and get her to eat when she wakes up.”
“I shall endeavour to ensure she is correctly looked after.”
McCoy hesitated, watching Jane.
“I shall ensure she is safe and well looked after. I would allow no harm to come to her.”
McCoy looked at Spock warily but then nodded. “I believe that.”
Thirteen hours and forty-three minutes after Spock received notification that someone had entered his room illegally, Jane woke up. Spock was meditating, but the subtle changes in her breathing were enough to pull him from his meditations.
“Spock?” Jane said, her voice sounding sleepy and hoarse.
“Jane.” Spock rose from his position on the floor and obtained a glass of water before presenting it to her. She took a slow sip while he continued to speak. “You have been asleep.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sitting up.
Spock held up his hand to stop her from continuing. “You have no reason to apologise. Dr McCoy said that you had not been sleeping. I am pleased you were able to remedy that situation.”
Jane moved back against the headboard. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I am here?”
“I believe you will tell me when you are ready.”
“I got an assignment on Monday,” Jane said.
“That was five days ago.”
“I haven’t slept since,” Jane said quietly. “The assignment was asking me to explain in detail what I would do on Tarsus IV in a number of situations.”
“I completed that assignment myself,” Spock said. “However, you were actually on Tarsus IV.”
“I haven’t told anyone about the fact I was there and I haven’t been able to write the assignment, but the nightmares are back. You already know about it.”
Spock nodded. “Would you like to discuss your time there?”
“No,” Jane said. “Could I…could I write it here? I just wanted someone who knew and…I’m glad it was you.”
“You are welcome to stay for as long as you require.”
“I hate the way people look at me,” Jane said. “When they find out I was there. I know you saw it all in the dream, but I hate having to tell people about it.”
“We do not need to discuss it if you do not want to.”
“I don’t know if I do or don’t,” Jane admitted. “Every time I try to start writing, I think about Tommy or Kevin and the terror. The stupidest thing is that the most terrifying parts are not even in the books about it. They don’t mention Kodos’ special children. He thought he could use us to create a perfect breed of humans.”
“I remember,” Spock said.
Some of the tension left Jane’s shoulders. “I love that you don’t feel sorry for me.”
“I cannot change what happened to you, however, I…do not…”
“Thank you,” Jane said smiling at him gently.
“I was instructed,” Spock said, changing the topic. “To feed you when you awoke. Do you believe you could eat?”
Jane’s stomach rumbled.
“I had planned to make myself a vegetable stir-fry,” Spock said. “It should not take me long to cook. Would you like something to eat in the meantime?”
“Don’t supposed you have any biscuits?”
“I do,” Spock said and went to his cupboard. He handed her a packet of biscuits and then picked up the two hyposprays. “Doctor McCoy left these for you.”
“Course he did,” Jane said and twisted her neck. “Do it quickly, please.”
Spock placed the first against her neck and squeezed to release the medication. Jane let out a hiss. Spock repeated the process and when he was done Jane rubbed at the spot.
“I apologise for the discomfort caused.”
“You know,” Jane said. “That didn’t hurt as badly as it does when Bones does it.”
“I shall take that as a compliment,” Spock said. He turned to his drawers and pulled out some sleep pants and an old academy top. “Should you wish to shower, feel free. You may use these clothes.”
Jane stood up and carried the box of biscuits with her. “I will. Thank you.”
Spock directed her to his bathroom and turned to begin preparing their meal. Jane took longer in the shower than Spock expected, and she used the water feature. He could only assume she found the shower a therapeutic place.
She walked out and the scent of Spock’s own shampoo and soap rushed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He knew she would smell of him and it took him a moment to control the possessive tug that knowledge gave him. It was not as good as it would be if she were to be covered in his actual scent, but for now it tugged at the barrier behind which their bond was locked.
“Thank you,” Jane said coming into the kitchen. “That was exactly what I needed.”
“You’re welcome. If you require anything else, simply ask.”
Jane watched him as he mixed a sauce for the stir-fry.
“You do know,” Jane said leaning against one of his cupboards. “Why the idea of this bond terrifies me.”
“You do not believe that anything is permanent,” Spock replied.
“Nothing is. Everyone leaves eventually.”
“That is not the Vulcan way,” Spock said and stirred the cooking vegetables in front of him. “If we were to bond, it would be permanent.”
“Until you grew sick of me, until you realised I’m not worth it.”
“I know everything,” Spock reminded her. “I know you are worth more than you believe you are.”
Jane stared at him.
“You have not been treated as you should have been, Jane. I am not those people. I would not treat you that way.”
“So you want the bond?”
“I will wait for you to make a decision about what you want.”
“But what do you want?”
Spock turned the heat down under the pan and looked at Jane, giving her his full attention. “I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know you even better than I already do.”
“Is that the bond talking?”
“The bond is locked behind a wall.”
“But it has a mind of its own. It shared our memories.”
“It has no power over us,” Spock said. “I know your past. I would be honoured to know your future as well.”
Jane took a step back from him. Spock nodded once and turned back to the food.
“I shall wait for you to make a decision.”
“If it were not for the bond I would have done something stupid by now.”
“If it were not for the bond you would know whatever you wish to do is not stupid.”
“Can I put on some music?”
“Of course, my player is on the wall.”
Spock watched her retreat. She flicked through his music discs until she settled on one she was happy with and Spock was surprised when the music began to play.
“This is my mother’s favourite music.”
“I know,” Jane said. She did not come back into the kitchen but found a seat and watched him instead. “Your mother is bonded to a Vulcan.”
“Yes.”
“How inappropriate would it be for me to ask to speak to her about all of this?”
“Not inappropriate at all.” Spock quickly calculated the time on Vulcan. “There will be time to contact her when we have finished eating.”
“You don’t have to rush,” Jane said.
“It is early for my weekly communication, however my mother will not be inconvenienced.”
“Right,” Jane said with a smile. “You call her every week.”
“She appreciates knowing about my life.”
Jane smiled. “That must be nice.”
“It is…” Spock thought of what he knew of Jane’s mother. “She will be inclined towards motherly affection for you.”
Jane picked up the book on Spock’s table. “I love paper books.”
“As do I,” Spock said. “I have more. I shall show them to you. But for now, it is time to eat.”
Jane stood and came over to the table. “I should have offered to help.”
“Sit and enjoy,” Spock said, sitting across from her. “My mother would say you are a guest and, as such, you should not help.”
Jane smiled. “It smells amazing.”
When they had eaten and Spock had tidied away the dishes, he pulled up the information to contact his mother. A standard message appeared instead of the Vulcan subspace telecommunications image.
“There must be interference,” Jane said over Spock’s shoulder.
“Yes.” Spock shut down the connection. “When it is repaired, I shall contact her. I am sure she would be more than willing to help you in any way she can.”
Jane smiled. “I like her.”
“As she will like you.”
“May I use your terminal to work on my assignment? I want to get out of your hair as quickly as I can.”
“You may use the terminal, but do not feel that you must rush.”
Jane smiled at him and went to the terminal to pull up her assignment. She stared at the words for a long time before she began to write.
My name is Jane Kirk, and I was on Tarsus IV. The following is an accurate account of what I did when faced with the following situations.
When my family was murdered in front of me but I was spared, I took the people weaker than me and we hid.
When there was no food, I killed rats or stole from the guards and shared the most with the youngest.
When faced with Governor Kodos, I fought even though I was starved and weak.
When his men came for us, we hid.
When the Federation finally came, I went home and tried to forget.
I survived Tarsus IV.
“That’s all she’s getting,” Jane said, sitting back.
“You have been sitting there for twenty-eight minutes. What was the requested word count?”
“Seven hundred and fifty words per scenario. I wrote a hundred and three and I dare her to fail me.”
Spock knew her stance was illogical and yet he did not argue with her. “Chess?”
“Yes.”
/ / / Amanda’s Help \ \ \
“Spock, what a welcome surprise,” Amanda said when she had finished greeting him. “It’s later than you normally call.”
“It is,” Spock agreed. “There was a problem with interspace communication on Earth.”
“Why are you whispering?” He noted that his mother’s voice had dropped in volume to match his.
“There is something about which I must inform you.”
“Go ahead,” she said and Spock could hear the note of worry in her tone.
“On the day that I was exposed to the gas caused by the chemical fire in the laboratory, I was assisted in rescuing some occupants of the lab by a woman named Jane Kirk. While under the effects of the drug, she touched me. At this time we formed a bond. The dreams I mentioned to you were a manifestation of this bond. Over a month ago at a chance meeting, we touched again during an earthquake and I was made aware of the connection we shared. It was confirmed by Healer T’Penn, who classified the bond as being a Katra Bond.” Spock’s father stepped into the viewer behind his mother and Spock inclined his head in greeting without pausing in his story. “Jane asked that the bond be blocked and we have been…I believe you call it, getting to know one another. This evening she asked if you, Mother, would be willing to discuss your own experiences of being a human in a Vulcan bond.”
“Of course,” his mother said immediately. “You love her.”
“I find her fascinating and wish to explore our bond further.”
“Spock,” Amanda started and then shook her head. “I would be most pleased to talk to her whenever it suits her.”
“She is presently asleep after an emotionally traumatic day and I wished to ascertain your agreement.”
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Amanda said.
“T’Penn was certain of the Katra Bond?” Sarek asked.
“She was. She melded with us both and ascertained that the dreams I was having were actually memories shared by our subconscious minds during sleep to develop the bond.”
“An unusual bond communication.”
“At the time of our bonding we did not know one another. T’Penn assured me that our katras are exceptionally well suited and warned that the process of breaking the bond could be difficult.”
“How are you?” His mother asked slipping into a break in conversation. “About the bond?”
“I have found it to be an effective method of learning much about Jane’s past and personality. I believe us to be as compatible as T’Penn stated, however Jane is wary of such a sudden bond. Jane is quite different from me in many areas, however there are just as many areas of commonality.”
“No, Spock,” his mother said. “How do you feel about being bonded to her? Would you like to keep the bond or have it severed?”
Spock paused for a moment to plan his response. “Jane is hesitant to allow the bond to grow and I am leaving the decision up to her.”
He could see the little line of frustration she got between her eyebrows when he was being ‘overly Vulcan’. “I am your mother and I do not wish to know what she wants, I want to know what you would do.”
“I would open the bond between us and work to strengthen it.”
“Thank you,” Amanda said. “I will be on the next transport to Earth.”
“There is no need.”
Amanda rolled her eyes. It was an action he had only seen a few times in his childhood, but it meant she thought Vulcans all very ridiculous.
“I will be there as soon as I can.”
Spock opened his mouth to speak, however she cut off the communication, without goodbyes, before he could. Very unusual.
Spock turned around to find Jane still curled up at one end of his couch. It could not be a comfortable position in which to sleep. Spock walked over while he closed himself off completely and lifted her into his arms. The walk to his bed was short and he deposited her onto the mattress. She turned into his retreating arms and then settled again.
Spock set himself to his meditation while she slept. As with last time, her presence was, surprisingly, not a hindrance to his meditations. His breathing matched hers as he slipped into his own mind.
Jane left the following morning. However, she did so more relaxed in Spock’s presence than she had been before.
/ / / Amanda’s Visit \ \ \
A week after their communication, Spock’s mother arrived.
“Spock,” she said with a broad smile when he met her at the transportation site. She touched her fingers to his cheek in greeting. “I have missed you.”
“We spoke a week ago.”
“It’s not the same.”
Amanda threaded her arm through her son’s as soon as he had taken her bag from her.
“When can I meet your Jane?”
“I do not own her. I have asked her to join us at my accommodation for dinner tonight.”
“That sounds good. Do you have to return to your work?”
“I do not.”
“Then we can drop my bag at the hotel and you can show me around San Francisco.”
“We have been here together before.”
“But you didn’t have a possible bondmate to tell me about then.”
“That is not entirely truthful. I had T’Pring.”
“I know,” Amanda said with a sigh. “I cannot say I am sorry that she will not be my daughter-in-law.”
“Jane has not consented to allowing the bond to develop to that point.”
“Yes, but how could she resist you?” His mother asked, smiling. She always smiled more when she was on Earth, more than she did within their home.
“I am confident it would not be difficult to resist me if she were to choose to. She has an exceptionally strong mind."
"That's not my point, ashal-veh.”
"I am aware, Mother. Would you enjoy a walk around the bay? We can visit the tea store you like."
"That sounds delightful, Spock."
/ / / Jane Meets Amanda \ \ \
“Mother,” Spock said, watching his mother as she brushed her hair.
Amanda turned to look at her son and burst into laughter. “Do not worry, Spock. I shall be on my very best behaviour.”
“Would you like me to prepare shur t'bertakk for our meal along with the vegetarian parcels?”
Amanda smirked at him. “That sounds very nice. Will you be preparing it as I do?”
“I have a taste for your variations on traditional Vulcan dishes.”
His mother smiled at him and the doorbell rang. Spock looked at the door. “Jane is early.”
“Are you not going to get the door?”
“It is unusual,” Spock said and then walked to the door to find Jane standing on the other side.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m early but I could not sit there any longer.”
“As you know you are welcome to visit at any time,” Spock said and stood to the side. “Please enter and I shall introduce you to my mother.”
“She’s here already?”
“I arrived this afternoon,” Spock’s mother said coming to stand next to him. “It is lovely to meet you, Jane.”
“Hello,” Jane smiled at Spock’s mother.
/ J \ / a \ / n \ / e \
Spock’s mother smiled at her and Jane could tell it was genuine. It looked nothing like the smile her own mother would have worn at a meeting like this one.
“Jane,” Spock said and turned to his mother. “This is my mother, Amanda Grayson.”
“Hello, Amanda.”
“Come in,” Spock said. “I am just about to begin cooking our meal.”
“And you and I can sit and talk,” Amanda said, catching Jane’s hand in a light squeeze.
Jane nodded and followed the older woman over to the chairs. In her dreams, Winona Kirk had been overlaid on everything Amanda did. The strange part being that Jane’s own mother was never as loving nor as affectionate as the Winona in the dreams had been. For a woman who had rarely touched her son in public, or in private, Amanda was the most affectionate mother that Jane had ever seen. It felt strange to know her and to be a stranger to her. With Spock the intimate knowledge was shared, but with Amanda Jane knew things that the older woman did not.
“My son informed me you wish to know more about the bonding between a human and a Vulcan.”
“Yes,” Jane said, unable to look Amanda in the eye.
“Is something wrong?”
“Did he tell you about the dreams?”
“He did. In fact, I know quite a lot about them. I hope that does not make you uncomfortable.”
“No, the best dreams always involved you,” Jane said. “You always looked like my own mother, but you never acted as she did.”
“I do not know if I should hope that she was a better mother than I was or not.”
Jane looked towards the kitchen. “I think I need some water, would you like some?”
“That would be most welcome,” Amanda said and her eyes were so warm that Jane could not even look at them.
Spock turned when she entered the kitchen. “Do you require something?”
“Water, please.” Jane looked at the perfect cubes of vegetable and the parts that had been on the ends, around the edges, that were misshapen. Something about it seemed so fitting right now. She turned away and looked at him. His face was soft, or it appeared soft. She could never tell if the way she was reading him was correct or not. He often wore the same Vulcan expression, but she swore she could see minor changes that told her what he was thinking.
“For my mother as well?”
“Please.”
Spock collected two glasses from one of the high cupboards and filled them. Jane knew she had feelings for him and she definitely wanted him, but she knew there was no such thing as forever and no bond would change that. The bond may just make everything worse. Then she would miss having him in her head as well as everywhere else.
Spock handed her the two glasses. “Do you require anything else?”
“No, thanks.”
Jane turned and went back into the living room. She handed Amanda her glass and sat again.
“I am sorry if I said anything wrong.”
“You didn’t,” Jane assured her.
“What would you like to talk about?”
“What has Spock told you?”
“When he was having the dreams and did not know what they were, he contacted me. I asked him to write them down so that we could try and work out why he was dreaming. T’Pess is often on Earth, but was not at that time. I read some of what he sent me but then he contacted me to tell me the dreams had stopped. He did not inform me, or his father, of the bond until last week.”
“And you hopped straight on a transport.”
“I wanted to meet you. His father is less curious than I and has a number of responsibilities. I left him on Vulcan and came here to meet you and because I miss Spock. I have not seen him in over a year.”
“I haven’t seen my mother in nine years.”
“She must miss you.”
Jane scoffed. “I don’t think so.”
Amanda looked at her with sad eyes. “I am sorry for her; everything I have learned about you tells me it is her loss.”
“I have my brother and we talk fairly regularly.”
“I was not able to provide Spock with a sibling.”
“He has Sybok.”
“He does, however they are very far apart in age and Spock is still separated from him due to his mixed parentage. I know it has been difficult for him.”
Jane thought about the dreams she’d had of being bullied, of being picked apart methodically with words. Jane herself had been bullied a little by her peers and extensively by Frank. Yet that felt different from the words of Vulcan children who used logic to bully. She knew it had been difficult for Spock as well, but he had always felt loved and protected by his mother and that had given him strength to ignore the bullies. Except when they chose to use her against him. Jane had woken up that morning with aching knuckles and a righteous smile on her face.
Jane smiled at her. “He loves you very much.”
“I know,” Amanda said.
“It’s not my place, but I’ve been in his head and I just thought you should know that he says it every time you do. He’s just got that stick up his arse and can’t seem to open his mouth.”
Amanda laughed, causing Spock to step out of the kitchen section of his apartment and stare at them.
“It’s nothing, Spock,” Jane assured him.
“I have always known how he felt.” Amanda paused to look at the doorway Spock had left through. “One thing you should get used to about Vulcans: they do not know how much repression is good for them.”
Jane looked at Amanda questioningly.
“They repress because they feel too much, too strongly, however, they have never found a balance. At least few of the Vulcans I know have. With Spock, you will need to see what he does as much as you will need to listen to what he is not quite saying.”
“I don’t know what I am going to do.”
“If there were no bond, would you be dating my son?”
“Would he be dating me?” Jane asked. “He never dates anyone. Uhura threw herself at him, and she makes a lot more sense than I do. He brushed her off.”
“I have seen the way he looks at you.”
“But that’s just the bond.”
“That is not how a bond works.”
“But ours is weird, isn’t it? It made us share our memories.”
“A bond is there to strengthen the relationship between two Vulcans. It is there to meet their telepathic needs.”
“What does it do for a human?”
“It allows me to see the parts of my husband that he chooses not to show anyone but me.”
“And what if he changes his mind and finds someone more compatible?”
“That is not how Vulcans are. They are steadfast and the bond is such that it allows the two bondmates to grow together as well as growing as people.”
“If you could go back, would you make the same decisions?” Jane paused and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“There are difficulties, as there are for any relationship, however I would not give Sarek or Spock up for a chance to live on Earth again. Or for the chance to live a more…familiar life.”
“What would you do in my situation?” Jane asked after sitting silently for a few long minutes.
Amanda laughed. “I am biased. I know what my son wants and I want that for him.”
Jane thought about asking what Spock wanted but she already knew the answer.
“Do you eat meat?” Amanda asked suddenly.
“I do.”
“Excellent, tomorrow I shall take you out for a meal with meat in it and we can talk some more. For now, I believe dinner is almost ready.”
“It is,” Spock said appearing at the door. “If both of you are.”
“We are,” Jane said standing up.
The rest of the evening was spent with Amanda sharing stories from Vulcan and Spock’s childhood. Jane enjoyed hearing her perspective.
/ / / Meal \ \ \ / J \ / a \ / n \ / e \
Amanda called Jane early the next morning.
“I hope I am not waking you.”
“No, no,” Jane said, running her fingers through her hair as she lied.
Amanda laughed. “I apologise, Vulcans are early risers and I have picked up the trait over the years.”
“It’s not a problem. I just normally sleep in on Sundays.”
“I was calling to see if you were available to join me for lunch. A friend told me about a lovely restaurant overlooking the bay and they were able to fit me in. I will call Spock if you are not able to come.”
“No,” Jane said, closing her eyes for a second to think about what she needed to do that day. “I can come, what time?”
“Half past eleven, at Obsidian Rocks.”
“I’ve heard about that place,” Jane said. “It’s impossible to get a table.”
“I am the wife of a Vulcan diplomat,” Amanda said with a smile in her voice. “And I am not afraid of using that position occasionally.”
Jane laughed. “I’ll see you then.”
“Excellent.”
Jane spent more time getting ready than she would like to admit. She washed her hair and bribed Gaila into doing it for her. The Orion negotiated a heavy price for the early morning wake up and the hair styling, but Jane wanted to make a good impression and she had never in her life been somewhere like Obsidian Rocks. As soon as Uhura heard where she was going, the linguist joined in on the makeover and before Jane knew it she was dressed in a dress (one of the few she had ever worn) and looked better than she had possibly ever looked. She had done all of this herself yesterday; something about being in Spock’s apartment had made her feel less anxious about that meeting. This time, alone, in a restaurant, Amanda would not have to censor herself for her son’s sake.
“You’re going to wow his mum,” Galia said.
“Who’s mum?” Uhura asked with her head buried in a drawer.
“Spock’s,” Gaila said. “She’s going to lunch with Spock’s mum.”
Uhura turned her dark eyes onto Jane and quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Good luck.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Uhura said and wound a vibrant blue scarf around Jane’s neck. “Now, go.”
Jane arrived at the restaurant early to ensure she wasn’t late and found Amanda stepping out of a taxi.
“Excellent timing,” Amanda said, walking them both into the restaurant.
The restaurant was even more opulent than Jane was expecting. She tried not to be obvious as she looked around attempting to take it all in.
“I heard they make excellent food,” Amanda whispered into her ear. “Or I would have gone down to Fisherman’s Wharf and had a burger…I might do that for dinner.”
“Kel’niko’s?” Jane asked.
“You know it?”
Jane let out a quiet moan. “I love that place.”
“Next time,” Amanda said and Jane relaxed next to her.
“May I help you?” The maître-de asked.
“Booking under Grayson for two,” Amanda said with a smile.
“Of course, please follow me.”
“Wow,” Jane said when they walked into the actual dining room. The walls were all glass and afforded every part of the room a view down onto the bay and, in the distance, the Bay Bridge.
“Yes,” Amanda said and they were led all the way through the restaurant to a table by the window.
Once Jane and Amanda were sitting Amanda smiled at her.
“I have never been here before, but it is quite impressive,” Amanda said with a soft smile.
“Very.”
“I’m going to have to have a word to my son about spoiling his girlfriend a bit more.”
“Did he call me his girlfriend?”
“No,” Amanda said, opening her menu. “I’m just hopeful it will only be a matter of time.”
Jane couldn’t resist laughing.
They ordered and then Amanda looked at Jane. “What do you wish to know about Vulcan bonding?”
“Can you explain it to me?”
“When I agreed to marry Sarek, he and I entered into a betrothal bond; it was a shallow bond. I could feel some of his emotions and when we were touching I could feel some of his thoughts. When we went to Vulcan and were bonded, we entered into a marriage bond and our minds were linked. I have very little psychic ability, however the bond allows me to feel his emotions, allows me to share his thoughts and he mine. I have learned to block him from the bond when needed and of course there are things that I do not allow to pass through the bond. Most of the time, unless thoughts or emotions are very strong, they do not get passed through the bond unless we push them. When I was pregnant with Spock, I went into labour early and Sarek was in another city on Vulcan. He felt my pain and returned to my side.”
“I always got the impression Sarek and Spock have a difficult relationship.”
“They do,” Amanda said. “Sarek worries that Spock will share the path of Sybok and choose emotionalism due to his human heritage and Spock feels he can never do enough to please his father.”
Jane stared at Amanda for a moment.
“Did you not expect me to answer?”
“I just keep remembering how reserved you were, in Spock’s memories. Though that was mainly in public. I keep expecting you to be more Vulcan and I don’t know why.”
“I chose to live my life with a Vulcan on Vulcan. I learned how to act as one for my husband and son but I have always been human and I have never tried to hide that from my son. It has caused tension when Sarek wished to teach Spock how to be truly Vulcan but I only want my son to be whatever he wishes to be.”
Jane nodded and looked down at her meal. She focussed on the chicken and thought about everything Amanda had told her.
“Spock cares for you,” Amanda said quietly a few minutes later. “I am honest with you because I do not want you to think being with Spock will be like the relationships you have shared with human men.”
“I don’t really do relationships,” Jane admitted. “I don’t believe in anything being permanent.”
Amanda nodded. “If you chose Spock, it will be permanent.”
“I know.”
“And that is what terrifies you.”
Jane took a deep breath and nodded.
Amanda smiled at her. “I could think of worse people to share your life with.”
Jane let out a bark of laughter and couldn’t stop. “Sorry, sorry.”
“Do not apologise.”
“Can a bond be severed?”
“Yes, a Vulcan healer can remove a bond.”
“Even a bond like the one Spock and I have?”
“I am not sure; I have not heard of that type of bond before.”
“Can Sarek control you through the bond?”
Amanda smiled. “He cannot. Though perhaps he wishes he could influence me more at times.”
“Do you feel that you have lost privacy? My mind is the only place where no one can…” Jane trailed off not knowing how to fit everything into one word.
“I feel that I share all of myself with my husband and he with me. It is perhaps not the relationship some would like, but it is the one I have chosen. I hide things from him and the bond and he would never invade my privacy by intruding on things I have hidden.”
“But he could?”
“As all telepathic species can.”
Jane nodded.
“If you are not sure about the bond, perhaps you can make a decision about Spock. I know he has the bond cut off at the moment. Would you consider giving him a chance and seeing if you are compatible before you make a decision about the bond?”
“Do you think he would be willing to keep the bond closed while we dated?”
Amanda shrugged delicately. “That is a question for Spock.”
“Would you be willing to have me contact you if I have more questions?”
“Of course,” Amanda said with a grin. “Whatever you decide, I would definitely like to remain in contact.”
“Why?”
“I like you, Jane.” Amanda said. “I can see why my son does too.”
Jane allowed silence to claim the table while she thought and the next time Amanda spoke it had nothing to do with Spock, Vulcan or bonding.
“Have you ever been to Canada?”
“I spent some time there after high school.”
“I have a brother who lives up there.”
“You and Spock have spent Christmases there,” Jane said.
“We have. I am going tomorrow to see him. I haven’t been in two years.”
The rest of their lunch was spent discussing anything but Vulcans or bonding.
TBC...
Part 04
Part 05