Pleased to meet you! And thanks for the input. The insistance on categorisation, black and white as you say, is I think damaging to an MUF's perception of her condition. I have heard depression described as the "shallow end" of the mental health disorder spectrum, for example. If this is interpreted as popular opinion to someone who is perhaps already paranoid, surely they are concerned that they are just over-reacting. The decisions about how crazy is too crazy are to be made between individuals, their doctors and the people they trust.
Interesting post from you and one that you've clearly had running through your head for a while. It certainly provoked no small amount of dialogue in the house. It's also a tricky one to engage with, as there's no small amount of yourself in this piece, and it's not a topic a million miles from myself either.
So, hi-fives and knods of agreement. (Though I think, perhaps, we interpret Amanda Palmer's art somewhat differently, and I can point you at plenty of women who crush on crazy chicks. I think, perhaps, that it's a less obvious caricature for a woman to adopt the caring, stable role in a relationship, less likely to be obviously sexualised. It's invisible by being ubiquitous. Whereas the masculine role, the white knight martyr role, commands notice and plays neatly into the fetished relationship you're describing.)
I want to take it further, though, and call out the lie, presentedly most blatantly in Secretary, that runs so deep in the Nice Guy role in all this. And that's that you can cure someone of their crazy, or at least
( ... )
I can point you at plenty of women who crush on crazy chicks.
This is fair. I suppose here I am mostly dealing with media portrayal, which is my main area of interest where gender politics are concerned, and film is not generally a friend of the ladyfriend.
the lie...that you can cure someone of their crazy
It is a problematic notion, and it sounds very unromantic to suggest that love cannot, in fact, fix everything. It's a very unpleasant power dynamic as well- is it healthy to form a relationship with one's psychiatrist? It is very clear who has the power in such a relationship. I think the blatentness in Secretary makes me less inclined to judge the film harshly- that they are pointing up the issues with such an ending, especially in the way Lee confronts the viewer in the final shot. But I might just be making excuses because I like it.
Christ, this topic can only get messily personal. Is there a particular type of dialogue you were hoping to cultivate here?Answered your own question! I would like it not to be so personal.
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Hee. Never let it be said I'm not comfortable with being emotionally to ransom.
But yeah, we should stick away from such things. At least in public forums. Would you recommend either Girl Interrupted or My Sassy Girl? I've not seen either. Benny and Joon, I note, is on youtube. Hooray!
And perhaps, Secretary succeeds by doing a wonderful job of portraying both an incredibly flawed and needy Dom and a strikingly independent and rounded sub. The set of scenes where Lee tries to find someone else to have a relationship with, whilst principally comic, also demonstrate her growth. (Aristotle would have been proud.) Don't get me wrong, I loved the film. But it was a fairytale.
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So, hi-fives and knods of agreement. (Though I think, perhaps, we interpret Amanda Palmer's art somewhat differently, and I can point you at plenty of women who crush on crazy chicks. I think, perhaps, that it's a less obvious caricature for a woman to adopt the caring, stable role in a relationship, less likely to be obviously sexualised. It's invisible by being ubiquitous. Whereas the masculine role, the white knight martyr role, commands notice and plays neatly into the fetished relationship you're describing.)
I want to take it further, though, and call out the lie, presentedly most blatantly in Secretary, that runs so deep in the Nice Guy role in all this. And that's that you can cure someone of their crazy, or at least ( ... )
Reply
This is fair. I suppose here I am mostly dealing with media portrayal, which is my main area of interest where gender politics are concerned, and film is not generally a friend of the ladyfriend.
the lie...that you can cure someone of their crazy
It is a problematic notion, and it sounds very unromantic to suggest that love cannot, in fact, fix everything. It's a very unpleasant power dynamic as well- is it healthy to form a relationship with one's psychiatrist? It is very clear who has the power in such a relationship. I think the blatentness in Secretary makes me less inclined to judge the film harshly- that they are pointing up the issues with such an ending, especially in the way Lee confronts the viewer in the final shot. But I might just be making excuses because I like it.
Christ, this topic can only get messily personal. Is there a particular type of dialogue you were hoping to cultivate here?Answered your own question! I would like it not to be so personal. ( ... )
Reply
But yeah, we should stick away from such things. At least in public forums. Would you recommend either Girl Interrupted or My Sassy Girl? I've not seen either. Benny and Joon, I note, is on youtube. Hooray!
And perhaps, Secretary succeeds by doing a wonderful job of portraying both an incredibly flawed and needy Dom and a strikingly independent and rounded sub. The set of scenes where Lee tries to find someone else to have a relationship with, whilst principally comic, also demonstrate her growth. (Aristotle would have been proud.) Don't get me wrong, I loved the film. But it was a fairytale.
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