To my Only Star...
That was quite a turn out, wasn't it?
I thought the candles were a beautiful touch but the wreaths aren't as nice as last year! We'll have to start finding somewhere else! You know why I don't go often, I know you're always close to me, but putting an appearance in is important to keep the family spirits up. You did it all the time.
I miss having your birthday together even when I was a snotty little kid and you always told me to play nice XD Today we should be hanging out together over dinner, complaining about my Uncle Tom being a miserable sod again and my Uncle Matty not coming up for air. We should be checking out each others clothes and picking on each others boyfriends. Either that or you should be driving us to the pub and nearly getting us killed by a bus again. You cow.
I won't lie, this year has been easier. Not because I'm forgetting you, who could ever forget they had a sister? But because it has long since sunk in that you're not coming back and I won't be seeing you for a long time. I've had a lot of support and I only have things in life I should be thankful for and I certainly would never have you back with the cancer, EVER. But I still selfishly miss you everyday. The situations you would normally help me out in I'm finally finding myself alone in, but I'm adjusting. If I can get through them with just half of your strength I'll always come up smelling of roses just like you, you jammy bitch :-p.
Isn't Pauls' girlfriend stunning? Isn't her kid the most beautiful little boy you've ever seen? He took a shine to me, I was made up! ^o^ What do you make of Drew, of how we got together? Do you think your mum and dad will be happier in Spain, away from it all? How's Jay doing? Is he enjoying being away? There are so many things I want to talk to you about and it breaks my heart that I can't. Your birthday never made me sad, jealous coz you got neat stuff, but not sad. I wish I was strong enough to have it not break my heart for you.
Please, I want you to have the best present of all, to have found peace. I know that you're not in pain anymore but don't stick around restlessly because you think we're sad. We're just selfishly missing someone who we all loved very much and untl we meet again will never stop loving. Our pain now is nothing compared to your own, can you understand that? I still selfishly want you to reach out and comfort me, like you always did and tell me that you're ok. Not having something so tangible is difficult, but I'll always work hard to keep your memory alive. You always kept smiling for me, so I'll do the crying in your place.
But I'm not going to stop listening to J-pop or being gal. You're going to have to do something more impressive then die to get to me to agree to that one!
Happy Birthday Jo. I love you as much as I ever did.
I thought the candles were a beautiful touch but the wreaths aren't as nice as last year! We'll have to start finding somewhere else! You know why I don't go often, I know you're always close to me, but putting an appearance in is important to keep the family spirits up. You did it all the time.
I miss having your birthday together even when I was a snotty little kid and you always told me to play nice XD Today we should be hanging out together over dinner, complaining about my Uncle Tom being a miserable sod again and my Uncle Matty not coming up for air. We should be checking out each others clothes and picking on each others boyfriends. Either that or you should be driving us to the pub and nearly getting us killed by a bus again. You cow.
I won't lie, this year has been easier. Not because I'm forgetting you, who could ever forget they had a sister? But because it has long since sunk in that you're not coming back and I won't be seeing you for a long time. I've had a lot of support and I only have things in life I should be thankful for and I certainly would never have you back with the cancer, EVER. But I still selfishly miss you everyday. The situations you would normally help me out in I'm finally finding myself alone in, but I'm adjusting. If I can get through them with just half of your strength I'll always come up smelling of roses just like you, you jammy bitch :-p.
Isn't Pauls' girlfriend stunning? Isn't her kid the most beautiful little boy you've ever seen? He took a shine to me, I was made up! ^o^ What do you make of Drew, of how we got together? Do you think your mum and dad will be happier in Spain, away from it all? How's Jay doing? Is he enjoying being away? There are so many things I want to talk to you about and it breaks my heart that I can't. Your birthday never made me sad, jealous coz you got neat stuff, but not sad. I wish I was strong enough to have it not break my heart for you.
Please, I want you to have the best present of all, to have found peace. I know that you're not in pain anymore but don't stick around restlessly because you think we're sad. We're just selfishly missing someone who we all loved very much and untl we meet again will never stop loving. Our pain now is nothing compared to your own, can you understand that? I still selfishly want you to reach out and comfort me, like you always did and tell me that you're ok. Not having something so tangible is difficult, but I'll always work hard to keep your memory alive. You always kept smiling for me, so I'll do the crying in your place.
But I'm not going to stop listening to J-pop or being gal. You're going to have to do something more impressive then die to get to me to agree to that one!
Happy Birthday Jo. I love you as much as I ever did.