Sexuality and preconceptions

[luzifer_]

A few random thoughts that have been nagging at my brain lately. Construction may be flawed as I tend to write these things a little bit at a time, constantly adding a few sentences here and there over a few days

Comments

[sarahblack]

I dunno why, but something in this post reminded me of this Cracked comic.

Maybe it was this: "I've talked to people who are afraid of doing things they love because they don't "fit" with other things they like. They think they're already buying into this one stereotype, they can't just go and shatter it completely by doing something exactly the opposite of what people think is fit for that type" ?

[luzifer_]

That's a very interesting article, thanks! And it's true in many ways about these so-called nonconformist (anti-conformist is a great word for them). But even when not trying desperately to be opposite to "everyone else" (i.e. the mainstream, or what those people view as mainstream), even when just wanting to fit comfortable with a specific group of people they feel they can identify with on many levels, people still tend to take those groups and stereotypes way too seriously.. such as the goth kid in the comic who actually loves reading Perez Hilton but can never admit that to his goth friends out of fear they will shun him for it.
All of these types interlap, and I can't think of any that can't interlap.

[sarahblack]

I'm glad you enjoyed the article. :)

But yeah... labels. My relationship with labels is pretty much: "Use labels on people you don't know very well, to distinguish them from other people you don't know very well."

The better I get to know someone, the more I just consider them to be... who they are. You know? Like the first time I noticed you around MH, wearing your Kurt Cobain T-shirt and wearing gothy make-up, my brain labeled you: "Interesting goth girl". As I got to know you, the labels multiplied. You became: "Alda, the interesting, artistic goth girl, who is also a cat person." (Idk, something like that. I was 16 at the time.)And then so on and so forth, until I knew so many things about you that the labels stopped helping.

... So now that I know you pretty well, I just think of you as "Alda".

[luzifer_]

Mmm that is a good point too. I think people don't usually label close friends in the same way they do with strangers. It helps, for example, to distinguish between people you would like to get to know better, and people you might not be as interested in. I would for example be much likelier (especially right now as gender on the top of my mind nowadays) to talk to a person who visibly challenges the gender binary than one who doesn't, because I feel like we would have more in common and would therefore get on better. (However, I also know that this is not at all true in a lot of cases.. you don't do that for example and we get along great! And I've talked to some absolute idiots who do..) I dunno if that's a bad example because I don't know how good a label that is.. but like you said, at 16 we were both into the goth subculture and therefore it made sense for us to start talking. Seeing you lay the Tarot cards in the busaferð made me label you as someone who would be interested in 'darker', esoteric stuff (at least on the gothy side

[jazzqueen]

It's a very interesting topic. I would argue that while labels do help us make sense of an extremely complicated world, people should also be critical of these labels and make a conscious effort to look beyond them when possible

[luzifer_]

I agree, and I think most people when prompted to really think about it would as well. I just don't think people really give it any thought, that they can belong to many many different labels and still "make sense

[vorpal_raccoon]

Labels and boxing... security and pre-assumption... good or bad

[luzifer_]

"Maybe if we hammered in the fact that there's no such thing as a (perfect) stereotype this wouldn't be such an issue."

This.