(no subject)
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to fucking walk.
Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity. Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't! You have only seen Mr. T in human form. In Narnia, he is a T. Rex with a lion's tail hanging out of his mouth. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Mr. T once rocked the Casbah. Which explains why there is no longer a Casbah. 23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors. Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it. If you tune your police scanner to 138.225 Mhz, you will hear Mr. T's thoughts. They will, however, be the last thing you hear... because the sheer awesomeness of his thoughts will make your head explode. Mr. T remains the only bad ass in American history to sucessfully fire 15,000 rounds out of a gun and hit no one. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is to afraid to shine on him. Sticks and stones may break your bones but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed. Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survived ad soldiers of fortune, until Mr. T found them and beat them to death with his bare hands. Behind every great man, there is a great woman. Behind that woman is Mr. T. Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T. There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history. Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's. Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him. Revolving doors were invented to keep Mr. T from kicking them in all the time. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba. Mr. T is not really black, film is just too scared of him to fully expose itself. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr.T is a deadly weapon in 17 states. Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.