Getting some Vitamin D appears to be a good thing
This week, I'm lounging on the beach in Cape San Blas (click on the name for a visual of where I am).
No, I had never heard of it either until we arrived.While we were driving to the cape on Saturday, I can see why. There is practically nothing. First of all, while driving through Tyndall Air Force base, we encountered miles and miles of trees planted in rows. For awhile it was rather disturbing, but strangely enough, it became mildly hypnotic. My mother developed a theory that the air force was mentally testing drivers.
Then we finally arrived in Mexico Beach which, humorously, hosted the surprisingly crowded (and crappy) El Governer Hotel. The hispanics in my car were laughing for a good ten minutes.
Port St. Joe is one of the smallest towns I've seen (and that includes lovely Eatonton, Georgia), and hosts the only grocery store for miles. A Piggly Wiggly. Then there was one pharmacy, a Post Office, and not much else. About half of the buildings were not in use, oddly enough. My family and I gathered enough food to last for a week, because where we were staying on the cape itself was a good 12 miles away.
The beach is very pretty, aside from the brief appearance of mounds of seaweed. Yesterday morning, our first day actually out on the beach, had absolutely no breeze. Incidentally, the beach is the only place on the cape where my cell phone works. So my poor Mr. UVA had to hear me moan a little over the intense heat of the place. However, around noon, a breeze started to appear (that coincided strangely with my father figuratively throwing in the towel and spending the rest of the day inside with the air conditioner) and I ventured out from the umbrellas.
Which brings me to that subject. He's kindly visiting my lovely state for a week, for which I am extremely grateful. I have this nagging small paranoia of recreating the situation that existed with the Fucktard, but seeing how Mr. UVA is remarkably different from the Fucktard (in several fabulous ways, might I add), it's ludicrous (no, I haven't gone plaid, if you catch the reference) to even have the thought in the back of my mind. I can't help being a bit hesitant. On the flip side, I also can't help laughing at myself from time to time. After four years of having remotely no interest in cultivating any sort of relationship, I once again realize that my rather pessimistic beliefs and future predictions may not have been correct after all. (Not that I've lost all my realism, mind you.).
For the first time in what perhaps might be several (long) years, I am at peace and calm. Not just what I had cultivated for myself - the confidence, esteem, and strength. But also the fulfilling sense of camaraderie, the consistent aura of comfort, and those random moments when I find myself smiling.
And yes, I still have those times (usually in the mornings when I eat breakfast, oddly enough) that I feel this horrible need to just run very fast in the opposite direction and simply leave existence and everyone, Mr. UVA included, again. It generally stems from pessimism, or self-doubt, or fear of feeling so exposed to the world. I don't like feeling vulnerable. However, something usually happens and suddenly, nothing seems overwhelming anymore, and I'm so incredibly good. It's so nice, really.
So, I suppose habits take awhile to break, but I predict, just like all other things from my past, these old patterns will fade in time.
Man, I can't do these metaphysical trips in the morning! I haven't had enough coffee yet!
And now, with that to start my day, I'm OFF TO THE BEACH!
No, I had never heard of it either until we arrived.While we were driving to the cape on Saturday, I can see why. There is practically nothing. First of all, while driving through Tyndall Air Force base, we encountered miles and miles of trees planted in rows. For awhile it was rather disturbing, but strangely enough, it became mildly hypnotic. My mother developed a theory that the air force was mentally testing drivers.
Then we finally arrived in Mexico Beach which, humorously, hosted the surprisingly crowded (and crappy) El Governer Hotel. The hispanics in my car were laughing for a good ten minutes.
Port St. Joe is one of the smallest towns I've seen (and that includes lovely Eatonton, Georgia), and hosts the only grocery store for miles. A Piggly Wiggly. Then there was one pharmacy, a Post Office, and not much else. About half of the buildings were not in use, oddly enough. My family and I gathered enough food to last for a week, because where we were staying on the cape itself was a good 12 miles away.
The beach is very pretty, aside from the brief appearance of mounds of seaweed. Yesterday morning, our first day actually out on the beach, had absolutely no breeze. Incidentally, the beach is the only place on the cape where my cell phone works. So my poor Mr. UVA had to hear me moan a little over the intense heat of the place. However, around noon, a breeze started to appear (that coincided strangely with my father figuratively throwing in the towel and spending the rest of the day inside with the air conditioner) and I ventured out from the umbrellas.
Which brings me to that subject. He's kindly visiting my lovely state for a week, for which I am extremely grateful. I have this nagging small paranoia of recreating the situation that existed with the Fucktard, but seeing how Mr. UVA is remarkably different from the Fucktard (in several fabulous ways, might I add), it's ludicrous (no, I haven't gone plaid, if you catch the reference) to even have the thought in the back of my mind. I can't help being a bit hesitant. On the flip side, I also can't help laughing at myself from time to time. After four years of having remotely no interest in cultivating any sort of relationship, I once again realize that my rather pessimistic beliefs and future predictions may not have been correct after all. (Not that I've lost all my realism, mind you.).
For the first time in what perhaps might be several (long) years, I am at peace and calm. Not just what I had cultivated for myself - the confidence, esteem, and strength. But also the fulfilling sense of camaraderie, the consistent aura of comfort, and those random moments when I find myself smiling.
And yes, I still have those times (usually in the mornings when I eat breakfast, oddly enough) that I feel this horrible need to just run very fast in the opposite direction and simply leave existence and everyone, Mr. UVA included, again. It generally stems from pessimism, or self-doubt, or fear of feeling so exposed to the world. I don't like feeling vulnerable. However, something usually happens and suddenly, nothing seems overwhelming anymore, and I'm so incredibly good. It's so nice, really.
So, I suppose habits take awhile to break, but I predict, just like all other things from my past, these old patterns will fade in time.
Man, I can't do these metaphysical trips in the morning! I haven't had enough coffee yet!
And now, with that to start my day, I'm OFF TO THE BEACH!