[TLB17] The Last Bridge

[lykanion]

Title: The Last Bridge - Chapter 17
Word Count: 5060
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.


A/N: Kind of a...filler? Gotta get some actiooon into the next chapter ^^ LET ME KNOW if you see any mistakes!! I made changes even before posting but I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open TT____TT

He felt awful, something was ringing in his ear and he let out a set of weak curses. Pulling a blanket over his head didn't help, neither did the pillow and like-wise his hands. He heard it, loud and clear, cutting through all the fabrics and kept on peeping, endlessly and especially torturous. His try to sit up ended in vain and he fell back to the pillow, numb pain still salvaging his head while blurring out his sight. Everything moved, sense of balance was unheard of.

Every single bottle downed on his way home was sounding through his ears - how empty ones fell, breaking into millions of pieces left shining on the ground. It had burned his throat, soothed the pain. He remembered how he stumbled into strangers who tried to avoid him saying he reeked, remembered how he stumbled around for hours aimlessly before finding his way home.

It was a message flashing on the screen, from Yoseob asking if he was fine. The first lesson must've been half-way through and Hyunseung groaned while letting it fall without replying, instead he moved fast, ignoring the pain while hurriedly pulling on his jeans and fumbling with the belt.

His father's words sounded through his ears clearly - he couldn't afford to miss even a single day.

He only remembers running downstairs, stumbling over his own feet, his mom saying goodbye and remembers trying not to bump into people on the way. He knew he must've looked terrible but as soon as his head found support on his arms, he was asleep, missing the teacher's worried glances, missing whispers in the classroom and even missed Doojoon's words when he took his seat. He didn't know anything and also dreamt of nothing.

Nothing. Just nothing for those 4 hours.

"-seung!"

Someone was shaking him nonstop and Hyunseung let out a low groan of irritation. He tried to swap the person with his hand, mumbled out some words which he didn't even register but nothing worked, the firm hand on his shoulder didn't stop. After another effortless mumble he opened his eyes, slowly and with difficulties as he wanted more, needed more sleep, but his mind was persistent to see the victim he intended to kill. It was Yoseob.

An expression of surprise flashed over Yoseob's face.

"Woah, you're no joke."

But Hyunseung's ears hurt, everything sounded louder and especially destructive. He was too tired to care about the next sentence and let his head fall back but another set of disapproving mumbles escaped his lips as the younger before him pressed him against the backrest. Something cool was felt against his head and a water bottle was placed before him. Yoseob was fixing his hair, complaining about the mess.

He didn't struggle and let his senses slowly gain their sharpness and he closed his eyes just to sigh. His heart was restless and everything seemed so wrong - it was frustrating. Sleep was the only way to get away from it all. To get some peace.

But it was too late, he had woken up feeling terrible.

"Yoseob?" His voice was dead and his eyes were dull but a question was on the tip of his tongue and not letting go. Maybe he was stupid, maybe he was the only one who never understood anything but even though his dreams consisted of pitch black, he couldn't shake this feeling off.

"Hmm?"

"Why... Why do I feel so empty?" He asked, somewhat also surprised by his own question. He didn't really care for an answer, at least he knew he shouldn't, it was such a burden. But there were some clues which he couldn't point out.

He could feel it. Clues for what he should do and how to move on and how much more he has to take before it gets better. For everything.

Yoseob didn't answer and Hyunseung didn't blame him - he would've done the same. Instead the blonde cautiously asked another question and that worrying glint made Hyunseung notice how different they were, how they had changed. The problems used to be privately dealt with, it had been an unsaid deal but lately they were getting involved more and more with no questions as why. It went by so subtly but it felt so right because everything seemed to miraculously fall in place.

“Are you ready to meet him?” He pulled the hoodie up and over Hyunseung’s head and sat back down before him in Doojoon’s seat. His motions were calming and Hyunseung appreciated it as his own eyes fell on the desk, he was fidgeting with his fingers. He didn’t know, there was so much hesitation clouding his mind. He had no idea what to do, had almost no idea what Yoseob asked because he still couldn’t understand his own words.

He didn’t want to remember.

“Am I?” He raised his gaze, searching support from Yoseob’s eyes, right then he needed someone to say it’s fine because he was all but that - he was scared, terrified to know the future as doubt had cornered him in. He wasn’t sure of anything, wasn’t sure of the future nor if the past was right. His mind was a mess and the hangover only aggravated it.

Yoseob only let out a small smile but didn’t answer, instead his hand made it over the desk and took hold of his and the elder’s fingers stopped trembling.

“Hyunseung, I won’t force you to come but, we planned a small vacation as the break begins,” He began, giving a light squeeze before continuing, “And I hoped you’d come along.”

His eyes were apologizing knowing Hyunseung wanted to decline, wanted to ask Yoseob to understand, hoping to get away and stay behind. But the blonde’s expression was almost begging, hoping and pained. He sighed as an answer.

“...Junhyung is coming too.”

“It doesn’t really matter.” And he meant it. It was clear to him - something in Junhyung’s voice had set him back to his place, far back in the starting point with the only difference that now it was difficult.

How can he suddenly get over everything and squeeze out the happiness.

Hyunseung let out a smile, he could only hope that it won’t be that hard.

It wasn’t really a surprise to see her dragging a blue bag behind her. She took a deep breath, pushed her hair aside and continued slowly, obviously exhausted and she still had a long way to go. She was also late.

His heart wanted to ignore her, snap at her, be unnecessarily mean because he could get away with it and no one would say a word. His heart would be at ease.

But something...

But if only his burden could be lifted by being shameless because if so, he’d do it without any doubts in the blink of an eye. There wouldn’t be any regrets.

“Hey, let me help you with that.” He heard himself say and in a second he met with a beautiful set of eyes, widened but still grateful.

“Thank you very much!” Her voice was light and cheerful. She looked sincerely happy and Hyunseung couldn’t help but let out a small smile because it felt surprisingly good.

Her bag looked heavy but when questioning about it he only got a warm smile in response, almost motherly as her eyes lit up and a giggle escaped her lips. “I can’t let you starve.” And Hyunseung found himself envying her.

“We could’ve ordered though.” He gave out a small strained laugh.

“I guess you’re right...” She looked lost as she stopped. “Should I take it back?” Her eyes were big and Hyunseung almost thought she was kidding but after seconds he understood.

“It’s okay, we like home-made food better.” He assured even though she still didn’t look too convinced.

But then Yoseob jumped at her seeing all the food and Dongwoon sneaked glances to get his hands on some biscuits and that’s when she looked at Hyunseung again and thanked him silently.

She’s really nice. Even perfect.

She really was, added to being cute and caring, looking so excited while running around and helping others, making sure they had every single necessity even up to first-aid kit and matches. And at times she walked around with a notepad, scratching something in it as she nodded approvingly and even nagged at others for not being fast enough.

He couldn’t help but hope she’d at least come and tell him to move so he could be annoyed, could dislike her just a bit so all of this would be explained but nothing, nothing at all and the closest she got to him was when she popped out of nowhere, making Hyunseung lean back in surprise as a can was shoved in his face.

How much he wished it was just a front she put up, that behind that face was actually a person seen in dramas, evil and cunning. How much he wanted that innocent and cheerful face go threatening on him so he’d feel better, a lot better still clinging into Junhyung while she did happy circles around him.

“You seem tired, here.” Her smile was still bright after all this work and even the serious one she managed on just then had her eyes shining in amusement. A finger made it on her lips. “But don’t tell Junhyung, alright?”

Hyunseung found himself nodding dumbly.

How perfect can a girl get?

And then he looked at himself - pathetic. H should be out there, trying to get into the mood and convince them he was fine and if successful, convince himself. But the sight of her had turned his plans upside down, her bubbly personality made him wish for time that was running out. He felt useless and he hated it because everyone else seemed to understand so well.

They always understood when Hyunseung threw tantrums. They just kept standing there, sympathetic smiles on their faces and hands stretched out ready for a hug. Even among the selfishness that had built up inside, he had to admit the perfection of the picture before him. He didn’t want to ruin it because staying in that bubble would mean practically a suicide, he’ll never be-

Ouch-

A flick on his forehead, that’s all it took to bring him back from his thoughts and his hand shoot up to his head, rubbing it.

“Don’t think too much.” He heard and the bench squeaked slightly from added weight, noticed slightly faded jeans and hands clasped together, a ring reflecting back light. Junhyung also must’ve managed to sneak away from the chores.

“I guess...”

He didn’t know what he was trying to accomplish by doing nothing but Hyunseung just couldn’t figure out his thoughts, he didn’t know what he looked for. It felt there never was enough time, not even after the hours gained from the lack of sleep, the minutes gained from the lack of appetite and all he got in return were slow actions and useless thoughts.

“Let’s go!” Yoseob shouted from far away, waving with his hands until he shrieked because Doojoon had silently sneaked up on him, grabbed him and slung him over his shoulder, Yoseob fighting as much as he could, shouting out random words but at the same time laughing.

Hyunseung gave out a sigh as he tried to get up but was stopped by a hand on his knee. Junhyung was looking at the ground, head supported by his other hand which elbow was on his own knee. Some strands of hair fell on his face, moving with the wind ever so slowly and it was a beautiful sight if only he didn’t look so miserable.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” His voice was faint and if the birds had been any louder, it would’ve gone by unheard. Hyunseung hated it, it was a tone he could never avoid because he had to hear it every rare night he had dreams. And that voice kept reminding him it would only get worse, that he should quit, that he had to rebuild every wall that had been taken down.

Do everything to stay safe.

“I know it’s selfish but-, can we-, I mean-“ He was struggling with his words and Hyunseung couldn’t take it anymore because he understood perfectly. He saw him shifting, knew how he couldn’t stay put so he nudged the other before standing up. Junhyung froze but didn’t raise his gaze, he kept looking down and it hurt so much that Hyunseung couldn’t help but hold out his hand just at the height the younger would see.

“Friends, right?” And even though it hurt, he really hoped it was going to get better because he decided to put all his faith into the words that time fixes everything. He could finally admit it, was finally able to say it out that some things belonged to the past and believe it.

In all honesty, everyone was surprised by how they got along - she knew his feelings towards Junhyung, he knew hers -, a situation screaming for conflicts, for random bursts of anger, sneaky battles but nothing. Hyunseung wanted to feel suspicious because she was too accepting but he couldn’t because finally he admitted that instead all that drama he actually enjoyed getting firewood together, liked walking towards the main house to ask for supplies and liked chatting while preparing the food.

It wasn’t too deep but just enough as they talked about life, about Junhyung and made fun of him, about the plans for this vacation, about if scary-stories should be brought out when night comes (Hyunseung found out she can’t be taken lightly in that matter), about if Yoseob can get his revenge which the boy seemed to be planning on his own and blinking innocently at every passerby. About random things he usually didn’t talk about.

And even Junhyung joked she was going to leave him and go after Hyunseung.

They all laughed.

She was approachable and reminded of a little sister with bits of attitude. Even though she looked innocent and sensitive, she had determination and strong will, she knew what to want from life and her horizons were wide - a perfect match for Junhyung.

Yoseob got his revenge in some way - it was up to them if successful or not. He and Doojoon came back from the riverside both soaked to the skin and sulking - no one uttered a word but later through Dongwoon he heard how Yoseob had tried to pour a bucket of water over Doojoon’s head but the latter had been too fast and managed to evade it. But it hadn’t stopped there, the eldest of the two had and lifted the other up, letting him hang just above the water.

And he had wanted to let him fall and was even ready to step away to avoid the splash but Yoseob had clung to him and finally twisted himself just so that they both fell.

Doojoon didn’t look happy but once again they all laughed, one forced while others clutched to their stomachs and Hyunseung found that maybe coming along wasn’t such a bad idea after all. It wasn’t easy to get used to constant stabs but he managed it. It was a torture to go to sleep at night but it wasn’t impossible. He knew it wasn’t going to be a piece of cake, he knew it.

And everyone seemed to have fun. Well, apart from Dongwoon himself who was dragged to the forest and Gikwang seemed enthusiastic to start another lesson on martial arts, going even as far hyping about fighting bears. Hyunseung could only hope that Dongwoon would be able to keep him sane. That boy literally went crazy seeing all these trees.

It was obvious things had changed. Just only months ago Yoseob had been slightly uncomfortable with these same people he now joked around with unknowingly, he also had opened up. So little time had passed but so much had happened and he almost hadn’t noticed it slipping by.

“Feeling nostalgic?” Junhyung asked with a laugh as he practically shoved grilled piece of meat into his mouth. Hyunseung cursed as it burned his tongue and did motions which definitely were of no use but amused the younger.

There was a silence, a comforting silence in which both of them were smiling just slightly because they both knew overall, this vacation was doing them good.

“Junhyung!” A cheerful shout came from further away and they saw her running, waving glasses in her hand. “You almost forgot these!” There was a big smile on her face but which Junhyung ignored, muttering something which made her pout.

Hyunseung asked to see them and she complied. Recognition lit in his eyes. "Aah! You wore these when we first met.”

Junhyung’s voice dripped with sarcasm, "Really?"

"Hmm..Why don't you wear these anymore?" Hyunseung continued, not really turning attention to him or the question. He was lost in the memories, remembering what he had almost forgotten - how he had looked, what he had looked like, how everything had started and what came with it.

"Rarely, it’s more like an accessory." He said, annoyed as he snatched the glasses from Hyunseung's hands and fixed his position before the other. "Stand still."

Junhyung stepped too close, way too close for comfort and Hyunseung panicked as he froze up seeing the younger’s eyes looking into his. He slipped the glasses on smoothly. Hyunseung didn’t dare to move, he couldn’t move even when Junhyung unnecessarily brushed back the strand of hair ticking on his forehead before finally stepping back and Hyunseung felt like he could breathe again. He honestly missed feeling breathless.

"Hey, it looks so much better on you." He laughed and Hyunseung diverted his gaze, a bit embarrassed as he turned away to look into a mirror.

"It's not bad. I still can't believe I thought you were a nerd,” he commented while checking his reflection, but the mirror was forgotten when Junhyung burst out laughing.

"Nerd?! Me?!" It earned him a slight punch against the arm and his laugh started to die, a grin still lingering on his lips.

"Yeah, see what glasses can do to you."

"Who are you to speak? Sitting in some almost-collapsing hut and in rain nevertheless."

Hyunseung snorted. "Well, excuse me..."

"And with a blanket-“ He yelped as he received a stronger punch.

"I got it, alright?" Hyunseung gave out a laugh before snatching a piece of meat and leaving fast before the other could do anything but he stopped, couldn’t help but feel his muscles go stiff. She was sitting on one of the boxes and eyeing them curiously with a perfect pout on her face.

“You two look so good together.”

Hyunseung let out a nervous laugh, Junhyung said nothing.

The light was still on and Hyunseung despised that ugly shade of yellow, hated it and would’ve gladly turned it off but he didn’t. He couldn’t risk it for a simple reason as it would mean him getting dragged out of his room into a circle of happiness and chit-chat. But he enjoyed this.

Because this was his thing.

“Hyunseung!” He cringed knowing he should’ve picked another room, possibly the one furthest away. He didn’t feel like answering, he just wanted some peace, time alone to just enjoy it.

“I can’t get the ice!” Yoseob whined again and Hyunseung immediately got the images of drunk Yoseob with a knife which made him get up with a groan and he was almost right, Yoseob really was holding one but by the looks of it, he wasn’t too drunk just yet even though Hyunseung was still was scared for his own safety. He was about to ask the others why they’re not helping but was interrupted with loud complaints as where their ice was.

He sighed again while taking the knife, Yoseob laughed randomly.

“Just push the tip like this, you have to break the connections,” he explained and did how said. A grin made over Yoseob’s face.

“See? It’s easy.”

He left Yoseob to keep concentrating on the task at his hands, quite amused in his half-drunk stage as he let out shrieks of joy when cubicles popped out to the cupboard. Hyunseung was unreasonably tired and the bright light was hurting his eyes and he was just on the halfway to-

“Don’t you want some?”

Hyunseung didn’t even look back before declining. He didn’t know why he kept away, he only knew he enjoyed it. It was suffocating but good, he liked it. He knew how being stubborn feels, knew the hurt from life itself but only some time ago he had discovered the worst type out there. Something was missing.

But these are some things he’d never say out loud because they would misunderstand. And that’s why he only hoped they would get drunk enough to forget, to only focus what was in front of them and he could stay in his room to enjoy the view.

He jolted as a loud thunder was felt through the house, the storm was close and he wanted to turn off the lights so much.

But he couldn’t. Not yet.

His mind savoured the moment. The downpour was harsh, hitting against the glass and the sky outside was light with frequent strikes one after another. There hadn’t been such a storm in ages. He missed his little toolshed by the beach and even the blanket Junhyung had mocked him for.

Doojoon’s laugh mixed in with the thunder, it was slightly quirky and Hyunseung’s corners of his mouth curved upwards because in rare moments like these, he just wanted to feel as carefree as they do. He liked to see them happy, cheerful, enjoying themselves because in his mind, every single person there deserved that and even more. And he did too.

But his mind kept repeating that he doesn’t fit in, reminding that there will always be a gap and even though it felt dreadful and it pained Hyunseung, he liked it.

Because it made him feel alive.

“Hyunseung! Come on!” Yoseob shouted again, this time words slurring off his tongue. Hyunseung couldn’t bring himself to answer but there was still a smile on his face. It felt like he was near them, he felt like he belonged with them, he knew it but he still kept doing this - he didn’t know exactly why.

“Now!” Yoseob kept persisting while laughing in the middle and he could hear the younger padding towards the door, slowly but with heavy steps and Hyunseung was just about to take his when there was a thump and Doojoon’s laugh sounded over it all.

“Later!” Hyunseung shouted back, it had always been a good reply with no exact time. It was better.

He liked the rain, had always liked as it was soothing and the thunder just made everything better. It was just enough to keep his mind sharp and attentive. The whole sky flashes white, everything trembles as another one follows.

It’s everywhere around him, just the way it should always be.

“Come on,” Hyunseung said with slight force in his voice which made Junhyung raise his gaze and also his eyebrow in a questioning way. He obviously wasn’t fond of the idea of having to work when this, all of this was supposed to be for fun and fun never included splinters in his hands.

“Why?” He groaned, “Let’s just do it later.” Junhyung shifted so he was lying down, attention turned back to pressing little buttons on his phone. He let out a small amused smile. “Or even better, wait for Gikwang.”

A glare was sent in his way which he shrugged off with ease. Hyunseung knew he would’ve loved to stay indoors where it was safe, city-boy like he was, and even though the older kept assuring wild animals won’t pop out of nowhere, Junhyung had still woken him up asking when was the last time wolves were seen around there.

“Just get your lazy bum up, we have to go,” Hyunseung swatted the younger with a towel on the way to his room, earning a half-murdering disapproving look.

“...wonder why the hell am I listening to you,” he mumbled on his own, ignoring Hyunseung’s request to say it again because he hadn’t heard it, hadn’t heard just like it was meant to be. Junhyung finally got up against his will, slowly and with difficulties and spent extra time on stretching and even more time on whining about his stiff muscles. And just as he thought he was safe and started heading towards the fridge he heard someone tapping his foot in the doorframe - the sound was loud and sharp.

“You should change your clothes.”

Junhyung ignored it. Cold-heartedly ignored it because he really didn’t want to go, especially so because Hyunseung seemed determined and what’s even worse - quite enthusiastic.

“It’s going to get dirty and there are bugs.” Hyunseung had already put on his shoes and was just tugging out some strands of hair from under the beanie. Junhyung only looked at him in suspicion and with a sigh and some more mumbles made it back to his room.

Hyunseung only rolled his eyes.

No one seemed to be happy with this arrangement but they had asked, nicely asked and Yoseob couldn’t decline seeing how weak the old couple was. Gikwang didn’t protest whereas Dongwoon whined a lot. But still when it came down to business the youngest always did what asked and when everyone else started getting tired, he was the one who never even made a squeak about it. Hyunseung admired that trait.

Junhyung’s girlfriend was already gone and someone mentioned she had gone to help the granny to cook as suddenly they had 7 more mouths to feed.

Doojoon said nothing in the beginning but after seeing the pile of wood, even he let out a groan and looked at Yoseob as if asking what the hell had he got themselves into. But Doojoon was also the one who even though in the beginning didn’t really want to help, when needed he did everything and even more and not out of responsibility, but because he felt sympathetic.

And Hyunseung didn’t want to stay behind, didn’t want to look like a typical teenager from Seoul who never knew anything about work at a countryside. Truthfully he even liked the idea, he liked having something to do and liked feeling needed and he was sure if Junhyung saw the old couple, even he would immediately stand up and ask for gloves.

Because he knew even though Junhyung nagged a lot, he didn’t despise the idea either.

“We’ll leave that woodpile to you,” Doojoon said as they passed him, loading the kindling on a metallic barrow. It looked rusty and had holes in it and made every single one of them wonder how the elders did it every single year with their weak backs and shaky steps. And they didn’t whine. They only showered them with smiles and freshly baked buns of bread so the least Hyunseung felt he could do is to help them out.

Junhyung’s voice brought him back on earth as they had reached it. “So this is how it works.”

Hyunseung looked at the low heaped woodpile. “Seems so. Let’s get started then,” he said and pulled up his sleeves just as Yoseob stopped by and dropped another load of wood. He took a couple and did it just how he remembered doing all those years ago, finding them a perfect place where they were secured. He had done this before, it wasn’t new but when he looked at Junhyung it seemed for him it was.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Junhyung had been staring back and forth between the wood and Hyunseung and even though it was obvious, he still asked because something in Hyunseung wanted to hear it, was looking forward to hear Junhyung saying it with his own mouth that he just didn’t know how.

But Junhyung said nothing, not even a single word made it out of his mouth as he took a piece of wood and also put it on the perfectly heaped one, trying to fit it but it was still so wrong. Hyunseung smiled as he put his hand on the piece Junhyung had just placed and pulled it towards him just a bit.

“It can’t touch the wall, the wind needs to blow through,” he explained softly because he didn’t need Junhyung to get embarrassed, he just earnestly wanted to help but Junhyung ignored him and continued.

And so time passed, surprisingly Junhyung was quite good at it (Hyunseung let all the times the younger glanced at him, observing, go). He took time to find where to put every piece but he did it well, keeping silent, and Hyunseung couldn’t help but feel better. Better because it was comfortable, it was a nice silence and a nice alternation from everything they originally had to face with.

“The longer ones should go to your end, it holds up better that way,” Hyunseung continued, just like to himself but he knew the younger was listening.

“Yes, yes, I kno-“ He jumped back with a voiceless shriek, almost stumbling on a piece of wood lying on the ground as he caught his breath.

Hyunseung tried to suppress his laugh as he returned because he had also backed away in surprise. He just continued. “You can shake them off before,” he said and hit another piece against the pile.

“Is it...still there?” Junhyung asked warily but as Hyunseung didn’t say anything he made it back, stepping slowly, eyes fixating if anything moved on the surface. He also looked better and Hyunseung could see even amidst of continuous yelps towards the bugs the different environment made finally a genuine smile appear on his face - one which wasn’t a half-smirk or a typical grin, it was just a warm sincere smile which Hyunseung hadn’t had many chances to see.

And he loved it. Every single second of it.

That’s how it went, days spent with a smile on his face which never faltered, at nights keeping to himself. It was tiring but he managed because collapsing from exhaustion meant there wouldn’t be any dreams.

It’s not that difficult.