[TC6] The Circle
Title: The Circle
Word Count: 3247
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Everything looks as normal as it can be - Junhyung works, makes money, is satisfied with his life and with the reality he doesn't even want to think about, but the appearance of a certain stranger turns everything around. Things get complicated, he finds out nothing is as it seems and Junhyung's curiosity just jumps in joy.
A/N: I apologize for the shortness...But the university really is taking so much out of my time.
Sometimes there is no reason as for why things end up like they do; they were the results of every single step they had taken, they were something unforeseeable. The only thing stopping him right now was the time. Setting things up, yelling out commands while trying to keep his eye on everything took too much energy, too much concentration and time and the responsibility on his shoulders wasn’t helping not one bit.
He just wanted to compose, the want to go on with his life in the easy manner like he always had been but for some reason (and let’s not even mention Hyunseung and his ninja ways), he had to take on this assignment, this emergency like they had put it.
Junhyung really hated emergencies.
And he hated Hyunseung even more as he had just dropped the whole load on his shoulders with no permission, without even a single question if it was fine or not.
He just did it because...actually Junhyung wasn’t quite sure.
“I’m sorry?” The other’s voice sounded beside him, insincere while he just stood there, not even putting the slightest bit of effort into helping him - his concentration was on a lollipop which he was unwrapping, which he had probably got from Yoseob because only now Junhyung noticed these lollipops weren’t even sold around Seoul.
He ignored him. “I meant the yellow light to green! Zone 2 people!”
Hyunseung didn’t even flinch on the sudden loud voice as he leaned against the wall, one hand in his pocket as he eyed around. “Check zone 4, the speakers don’t seem to be working that well.”
“Why aren’t you doing this then?” He shot back at him with an annoyed look. He didn’t know where the snappiness came from but he didn’t regret it, didn’t feel like he should. The other only smiled before continuing with sucking his lollipop, louder than supposed to.
“Zone 4 speakers!” He yelled out again, only letting his eyes leave when he saw people rushing towards it, and he rolled his eyes seeing that small smile still occupying the other’s lips, a sly one as he glanced aside.
But what Junhyung didn’t really get was why he was doing this. Why was he even there when Hyunseung seemed a lot more experienced and why was the older even there when he had given the job to Junhyung.
He didn’t understand why he was making him do this.
Junhyung casted the other another look only to see a glimpse of him before he disappeared behind a corner. And he got annoyed, was really annoyed because even if it was childish, Hyunseung should at least suffer here with him.
Suffer because it was his fault in the first place.
“Why am I even putting up with you?” He asked after the other’s reappearance, out of nowhere just like he had been gone and Junhyung found himself to be surprisingly comfortable with it.
“I wonder the same, you know,” he replied, only to earn a glare from Junhyung which was casted beside immediately.
It’s not like Junhyung liked this situation.
But in all honesty-
He didn’t dislike it either.
It was quite entertaining, a lot more entertaining than his life and even though he complained and sometimes even whined, it somehow filled a small part of him, an empty space he hadn’t even noticed there. It had been hidden, in the shadows and only now the light shone there only to reveal a big dark empty space.
“So really, why you made me do this anyway?” Junhyung asked, his eye on every bite Hyunseung took.
Out if his lunch. His lunch which he had bought from the shop around the corner.
“There was no specific reason though,” the other said, light melody carrying his voice as he leisurely tried his best with the plastic knife and the sausage. It was on the verge of breaking but obviously the other paid no attention to it.
But Junhyung could see it wasn’t alright. He wouldn’t have caught it before, but now he couldn’t miss the way Hyunseung’s eyes nervously glanced at him for a millisecond and then back at his food. He just couldn’t miss the way the other’s facial expression froze up for that same millisecond.
He asked if something was wrong - Hyunseung said nothing. He would never say a word.
After all, it was somewhat expected.
“Bongchol?” Junhyung tried and now the calmness gave him an answer good enough. He could only rely on his inner gut feeling saying it was right but he didn’t know if that was a right thing to do.
He had actually no idea what might be going on but at the same time he always had a hunch.
But Hyunseung diverted it once again.
“Hey Gikwang!” He shouted, waving and Junhyung turned around to see the said person with surprise written all over his face as he made his way closer, obviously dumbfounded as it was busy, they had to be working and he obviously couldn’t see how they could eat at such a time.
“So, how do you like Dongwoon?” Hyunseung asked bluntly out, making Junhyung cough suddenly.
Gikwang didn’t seem as taken aback though.
“He’s nice I guess but has a lot to learn?” His eyes still carried the glint of obviousness, noting he hadn’t missed the real intention, hadn’t missed in seeing what the other was trying to do as his eyes disappeared into fake crescents before letting his eyes wander around innocently.
“The props are getting in the way of the choreography. Just wanted to say I’m going to let it get changed,” he said, motioning somewhere towards the said place and Junhyung couldn’t help but wonder if Dongwoon did a good choice in taking him as his interest because frankly, the younger didn’t even seem to have a chance knowing what Gikwang was like.
Not that he had too high standards, not that he was unapproachable.
But it was more the fact that Gikwang didn’t even seem interested in men at all.
And to Dongwoon it was probably the worst news possible. It was the kind of news Junhyung would never wish to hear, the kind of news which you have no way around because that’s just how it is. You can’t just change someone, just can’t if they have their beliefs set in place. And if things were how they seemed to be - Dongwoon was practically screwed.
On the other side, Junhyung thought it might be a good lesson for the younger.
“I see. I’ll go check it out then,” Hyunseung said as he stood up, waving in goodbye and Junhyung almost missed his chance to say he’d tag along because he needed something from that side also. Obvious lie which can’t be pushed back so in the end it didn’t matter, it never mattered because it was the result that counted.
Junhyung had learned that much.
“Why can’t you just answer me straight out?” He asked while making their way towards the centre, people rushing back and forth but surprisingly no one interrupted to ask anything.
Silence carried on for a while, a shrug of shoulders the only answer while Hyunseung kept moving onwards, through the crowd and Junhyung really had a hard time in trying to keep up.
“Hyunseung,” he finally said, hand barely reaching to grasp the other’s shoulder, making him stop and turn around. His eyebrow was raised, his eyes obviously showed he hadn’t forgotten the question but something in those, something behind those brown orbs told him to stop once again.
“Right now we’re busy,” he said calmly, with no implications, nothing but mere voice without any feelings at all. It made Junhyung glance around, look around to see people still rushing everywhere and when he looked back, Hyunseung’s eyebrow were still raised.
He put his hand back down.
It’s not that his curiosity can’t leave him alone but it’s more the fact that he doesn’t want it to leave. He wants news, is almost obsessed with it and he even admits it makes him feel like a bitch (attitude-wise). Always having been a curious kid has taught him some things about the society - you won’t get anything if you don’t work for it, if you don’t know how things run and Junhyung thinks, really thinks that his curiosity comes exactly from that sentence carved into his mind, deeply with a knife since early childhood.
And now it keeps haunting him, keeps pressuring him to know when he just wants an easy life. It keeps telling him to inquire, to figure things out even though he really doesn’t need it. He just does it because he’s used to it, because he sees no other choice.
He wants to know what is going on.
And to know that, he feels as if he needs to figure out who Hyunseung is.
“You can be such a headache you know,” Junhyung said as he heard the other approaching, the floor squeaking at places no one could predict. The squeaks were loud, not echoing but still there and hurting to the ears.
Hyunseung only wore a lazy smile as he seated down a step higher than the younger. Junhyung grasped his ankle, trying to pull him down but the other got away, moved to the right, away from him with an amused laugh. Junhyung couldn’t see how it was amusing.
“You really don’t like people behind you, do you?” He asked, his head resting on his hand and as Junhyung glanced over for a second, he noticed his hair falling to his eyes and it was easy to see he wasn’t enjoying it.
Soon enough he became annoyed enough to swipe it beside.
“I thought we made that clear,” the younger said, letting his eyes wander around again. They both were tired, everyone was, but with a feeling of satisfaction, feeling of completion - at least for him.
Eyeing at Hyunseung he didn’t know if the other felt the same, was he thinking anything at all while straightening his back, doing a couple stretching motions before moving himself towards Junhyung, still staying on his step, making the other sigh.
“But don’t you think it gives some sort of adrenaline, a feeling of excitement?” Hyunseung asked, his voice making Junhyung restless, uncomfortable to the point where he had to blindly hit the other’s leg in sign to move.
Hyunseung didn’t.
He literally took no notice of it and Junhyung didn’t know what else he could do when he felt cold fingers lightly against his neck, caressing and making chills run down his spine because it was cold, too cold and even got colder when a finger slipped just a bit below his shirt. It dragged along his collarbone.
Junhyung put his own hand over his, stopping his movements which wasn’t struggled against. “That’s enough you know.” He didn’t even look back, he just kept looking forwards and he felt Hyunseung’s hand below his retreating.
And just when he managed to sigh in relief, he felt the same hand to be placed over his, directly skin against skin and it still felt cold, cold enough for Junhyung to want to take it away but he couldn’t, not when it was held so firmly but gently at the same time.
“Tell me something real about you,” Junhyung said as Hyunseung had finally came a step lower, now beside him with his hand still in his. He seemed to be observing of some sort, letting his fingertips brush over the bones when his hand moved, dragging his fingers beside those. He traced the visible veins, pressing down lightly while taking a better grasp at his hand.
“I’m Hyunseung, play guitar, compose,” he said nonchalantly, attention far away, making Junhyung snort.
It really was at times tiring when he kept avoiding, purposefully or not, but it was still tiring when they had just finished organizing a concert and seeing it through. And right now Junhyung just wanted straightforward answers because for once, he really didn’t care how he would get them.
He was drained out, tired and distressed.
“I meant something I don’t know yet,” he continued with a sigh, only to have Hyunseung glance up at him and then back down, his own eyes following to see their hands still clasped together.
“But you know everything you need to know.”
A silence followed in which Junhyung managed to sigh once again, just to raise his eyebrow and keep that glance that persisted him to continue. He had heard so many things, had heard from many sources and he didn’t even know what was real and what wasn’t.
Everything started mixing up and it was confusing because he was always thinking he might be mistaken as nothing ever came from Hyunseung himself.
For once, at certain times he really just wanted to know.
“I have a sister an- what?” He asked, annoyed obviously at the interruption by Junhyung’s sarcastic gasp.
Junhyung just shook his head and with a suspicious glance from Hyunseung, the latter continued. “I actually live outside of Seoul, quite far away but the place looks nice. I usually pay a visit...twice a year?”
“I thought you had no family, that’s why,” Junhyung said and pulled his hand away when Hyunseung had started to roll the sleeve up. He was given a disapproving glare but the other seemed unaffected by it.
“Everyone has ups and downs in their lives,” he said, grabbing his hand again and continued to roll up the sleeve, just enough to reveal his wrist, “and I just lately started to get my life back on tracks. I went overboard but it taught me something essential I had forgotten.”
The following pause included Hyunseung letting his fingers drag lines on his wrist.
“So, and what exactly did you learn?” He asked, finally replying by at times letting his fingers play along with whatever Hyunseung was doing at that moment, or intended to do.
Hyunseung took a deep breath which he released some seconds later, “I don’t really know how to explain but it just makes a person grow. It’s like the knowledge you acquire subconsciously - it’s there but it’d take too long to put into words,” Hyunseung nudged at his side, “You better enjoy how lucky you seem to be right now. The times are different, there is more freedom, just don’t meddle in other’s affairs.”
Meddling, something that Junhyung had never been too familiar with. He usually kept away, widely known what the consequences might be of getting too deep. He knew it and he knew what Hyunseung was saying.
But it started getting harder and harder.
Junhyung furrowed his eyebrow as he tried to catch Hyunseung’s eye but uselessly, “Is that a warning I hear?” His voice was tinted with amusement and the other seemed to catch it easily.
“I meant it, just don’t, it’s only-“
“Don’t you then go under the things I’m supposed to stay away from?” He interrupted and this time it earned him a look he couldn’t exactly decipher. It seemed to be conflict which Junhyung knew for sure as he felt the same but there was also something else apart from the obvious hesitant feeling. It almost seemed like having scolded a child and only now the child repented on what he had done.
It was an awful sight and it made Junhyung feel guilty - not for saying it but for just pointing it out.
“In some way, I guess, but you seem stupid enough to give in to what you want, not what you’re supposed to do,” He replied, only receiving a nudge back.
“I’m not stupid,” Junhyung said, that small lost smile made it back to Hyunseung’s lips as he stood up, brushing the invisible dust off his jeans as he stretched his hand out.
“You will be,” he still smiled, a little daringly.
“If that’s my fate, then let it be.”
“Fate is in your hands,” Hyunseung said.
“Like I ever asked it to be."
It’s not that Junhyung doesn’t really care, he just can’t find himself enough to think about it when his mind is buzzing about something totally different. He can’t bring himself to think on how to answer to Yoseob because his entire mind is thinking about the closed door (metaphorically as the door wasn’t that closed), the clothes, the voices. He’s just glad for not giving in to his curiosity to investigate.
Because as soon as he started to leave, he recognized it, the voice, voices and he didn’t even know what to think because that’s not how it was supposed to be.
Hyunseung’s voice wasn’t supposed to be heard.
At least not in that manner. In that stupidly seductive manner that made Junhyung bite into his lip.
Some part of him had expected it, something in it wasn’t surprising for him at all but that other small part, that part that had no connections to his brain told him he hated it.
Hated whoever Hyunseung had been there with, whoever the other voice belonged to.
Though he had his assumptions, had his gut feeling because the voice was familiar, even too familiar for him not to think about it. Junhyung didn’t want to think, he didn’t even want to remember it - the only thing he wanted right now was Yoseob’s words, that he could concentrate, listen and not let his own thoughts take over him.
He hated people like that.
And it was no surprise that he almost hated himself also.
“Junhyung?” A voice brought him out again and Junhyung found the blonde looking at him, worry occupying his face as he furrowed his eyebrow just slightly. “Is something wrong? Is it about Hyunseung?”
He snorted at how correct it was.
“You shouldn’t worry about him, I know he’s been gone for a long time but today someone said that he had a meeting with Bongchol,” Yoseob continued, his attention back on the cake as he also was eyeing the music sheets before him. Junhyung had no want to deal with music right now.
He let out a deep breath, his insides turning cold and he felt even a bit disgusted, “I know that already.”
“Then what’s the problem?” The blonde immediately inquired, eyes again glancing up.
Then really, what was the problem? Wasn’t he being unreasonable, almost out of boundaries because who was he to be irritated of what Hyunseung did with his own life.
And even though Hyunseung said he was getting his life back on tracks, hidden by the meaning that he had left everything before behind, why did he still seem so involved? Why was he still there at all and why not hadn’t he escaped when he had the chance he so seemed to have yearned for.
It brought him back to the one same question.
Did he actually want to get away?
Junhyung thought it was the first time when he really wanted Hyunseung to back off from the music industry.
And for what?
For Junhyung’s own selfish reasons Hyunseung had even no idea about. And it didn’t even matter because it ‘s an old known fact that the whole world is about the individual and his own happiness, it’s the perfect excuse and exactly what Junhyung needed.
He shouldn’t be like this, but it was as far as he didn’t even care. He could only remember the touch, the voice near his ear, the breath and Junhyung finally acknowledged a definite fact.
That his situation really was worse than Dongwoon’s.
That he was seriously screwed also.
“Nothing, there is no problem at all.”
Word Count: 3247
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Everything looks as normal as it can be - Junhyung works, makes money, is satisfied with his life and with the reality he doesn't even want to think about, but the appearance of a certain stranger turns everything around. Things get complicated, he finds out nothing is as it seems and Junhyung's curiosity just jumps in joy.
A/N: I apologize for the shortness...But the university really is taking so much out of my time.
Sometimes there is no reason as for why things end up like they do; they were the results of every single step they had taken, they were something unforeseeable. The only thing stopping him right now was the time. Setting things up, yelling out commands while trying to keep his eye on everything took too much energy, too much concentration and time and the responsibility on his shoulders wasn’t helping not one bit.
He just wanted to compose, the want to go on with his life in the easy manner like he always had been but for some reason (and let’s not even mention Hyunseung and his ninja ways), he had to take on this assignment, this emergency like they had put it.
Junhyung really hated emergencies.
And he hated Hyunseung even more as he had just dropped the whole load on his shoulders with no permission, without even a single question if it was fine or not.
He just did it because...actually Junhyung wasn’t quite sure.
“I’m sorry?” The other’s voice sounded beside him, insincere while he just stood there, not even putting the slightest bit of effort into helping him - his concentration was on a lollipop which he was unwrapping, which he had probably got from Yoseob because only now Junhyung noticed these lollipops weren’t even sold around Seoul.
He ignored him. “I meant the yellow light to green! Zone 2 people!”
Hyunseung didn’t even flinch on the sudden loud voice as he leaned against the wall, one hand in his pocket as he eyed around. “Check zone 4, the speakers don’t seem to be working that well.”
“Why aren’t you doing this then?” He shot back at him with an annoyed look. He didn’t know where the snappiness came from but he didn’t regret it, didn’t feel like he should. The other only smiled before continuing with sucking his lollipop, louder than supposed to.
“Zone 4 speakers!” He yelled out again, only letting his eyes leave when he saw people rushing towards it, and he rolled his eyes seeing that small smile still occupying the other’s lips, a sly one as he glanced aside.
But what Junhyung didn’t really get was why he was doing this. Why was he even there when Hyunseung seemed a lot more experienced and why was the older even there when he had given the job to Junhyung.
He didn’t understand why he was making him do this.
Junhyung casted the other another look only to see a glimpse of him before he disappeared behind a corner. And he got annoyed, was really annoyed because even if it was childish, Hyunseung should at least suffer here with him.
Suffer because it was his fault in the first place.
“Why am I even putting up with you?” He asked after the other’s reappearance, out of nowhere just like he had been gone and Junhyung found himself to be surprisingly comfortable with it.
“I wonder the same, you know,” he replied, only to earn a glare from Junhyung which was casted beside immediately.
It’s not like Junhyung liked this situation.
But in all honesty-
He didn’t dislike it either.
It was quite entertaining, a lot more entertaining than his life and even though he complained and sometimes even whined, it somehow filled a small part of him, an empty space he hadn’t even noticed there. It had been hidden, in the shadows and only now the light shone there only to reveal a big dark empty space.
“So really, why you made me do this anyway?” Junhyung asked, his eye on every bite Hyunseung took.
Out if his lunch. His lunch which he had bought from the shop around the corner.
“There was no specific reason though,” the other said, light melody carrying his voice as he leisurely tried his best with the plastic knife and the sausage. It was on the verge of breaking but obviously the other paid no attention to it.
But Junhyung could see it wasn’t alright. He wouldn’t have caught it before, but now he couldn’t miss the way Hyunseung’s eyes nervously glanced at him for a millisecond and then back at his food. He just couldn’t miss the way the other’s facial expression froze up for that same millisecond.
He asked if something was wrong - Hyunseung said nothing. He would never say a word.
After all, it was somewhat expected.
“Bongchol?” Junhyung tried and now the calmness gave him an answer good enough. He could only rely on his inner gut feeling saying it was right but he didn’t know if that was a right thing to do.
He had actually no idea what might be going on but at the same time he always had a hunch.
But Hyunseung diverted it once again.
“Hey Gikwang!” He shouted, waving and Junhyung turned around to see the said person with surprise written all over his face as he made his way closer, obviously dumbfounded as it was busy, they had to be working and he obviously couldn’t see how they could eat at such a time.
“So, how do you like Dongwoon?” Hyunseung asked bluntly out, making Junhyung cough suddenly.
Gikwang didn’t seem as taken aback though.
“He’s nice I guess but has a lot to learn?” His eyes still carried the glint of obviousness, noting he hadn’t missed the real intention, hadn’t missed in seeing what the other was trying to do as his eyes disappeared into fake crescents before letting his eyes wander around innocently.
“The props are getting in the way of the choreography. Just wanted to say I’m going to let it get changed,” he said, motioning somewhere towards the said place and Junhyung couldn’t help but wonder if Dongwoon did a good choice in taking him as his interest because frankly, the younger didn’t even seem to have a chance knowing what Gikwang was like.
Not that he had too high standards, not that he was unapproachable.
But it was more the fact that Gikwang didn’t even seem interested in men at all.
And to Dongwoon it was probably the worst news possible. It was the kind of news Junhyung would never wish to hear, the kind of news which you have no way around because that’s just how it is. You can’t just change someone, just can’t if they have their beliefs set in place. And if things were how they seemed to be - Dongwoon was practically screwed.
On the other side, Junhyung thought it might be a good lesson for the younger.
“I see. I’ll go check it out then,” Hyunseung said as he stood up, waving in goodbye and Junhyung almost missed his chance to say he’d tag along because he needed something from that side also. Obvious lie which can’t be pushed back so in the end it didn’t matter, it never mattered because it was the result that counted.
Junhyung had learned that much.
“Why can’t you just answer me straight out?” He asked while making their way towards the centre, people rushing back and forth but surprisingly no one interrupted to ask anything.
Silence carried on for a while, a shrug of shoulders the only answer while Hyunseung kept moving onwards, through the crowd and Junhyung really had a hard time in trying to keep up.
“Hyunseung,” he finally said, hand barely reaching to grasp the other’s shoulder, making him stop and turn around. His eyebrow was raised, his eyes obviously showed he hadn’t forgotten the question but something in those, something behind those brown orbs told him to stop once again.
“Right now we’re busy,” he said calmly, with no implications, nothing but mere voice without any feelings at all. It made Junhyung glance around, look around to see people still rushing everywhere and when he looked back, Hyunseung’s eyebrow were still raised.
He put his hand back down.
It’s not that his curiosity can’t leave him alone but it’s more the fact that he doesn’t want it to leave. He wants news, is almost obsessed with it and he even admits it makes him feel like a bitch (attitude-wise). Always having been a curious kid has taught him some things about the society - you won’t get anything if you don’t work for it, if you don’t know how things run and Junhyung thinks, really thinks that his curiosity comes exactly from that sentence carved into his mind, deeply with a knife since early childhood.
And now it keeps haunting him, keeps pressuring him to know when he just wants an easy life. It keeps telling him to inquire, to figure things out even though he really doesn’t need it. He just does it because he’s used to it, because he sees no other choice.
He wants to know what is going on.
And to know that, he feels as if he needs to figure out who Hyunseung is.
“You can be such a headache you know,” Junhyung said as he heard the other approaching, the floor squeaking at places no one could predict. The squeaks were loud, not echoing but still there and hurting to the ears.
Hyunseung only wore a lazy smile as he seated down a step higher than the younger. Junhyung grasped his ankle, trying to pull him down but the other got away, moved to the right, away from him with an amused laugh. Junhyung couldn’t see how it was amusing.
“You really don’t like people behind you, do you?” He asked, his head resting on his hand and as Junhyung glanced over for a second, he noticed his hair falling to his eyes and it was easy to see he wasn’t enjoying it.
Soon enough he became annoyed enough to swipe it beside.
“I thought we made that clear,” the younger said, letting his eyes wander around again. They both were tired, everyone was, but with a feeling of satisfaction, feeling of completion - at least for him.
Eyeing at Hyunseung he didn’t know if the other felt the same, was he thinking anything at all while straightening his back, doing a couple stretching motions before moving himself towards Junhyung, still staying on his step, making the other sigh.
“But don’t you think it gives some sort of adrenaline, a feeling of excitement?” Hyunseung asked, his voice making Junhyung restless, uncomfortable to the point where he had to blindly hit the other’s leg in sign to move.
Hyunseung didn’t.
He literally took no notice of it and Junhyung didn’t know what else he could do when he felt cold fingers lightly against his neck, caressing and making chills run down his spine because it was cold, too cold and even got colder when a finger slipped just a bit below his shirt. It dragged along his collarbone.
Junhyung put his own hand over his, stopping his movements which wasn’t struggled against. “That’s enough you know.” He didn’t even look back, he just kept looking forwards and he felt Hyunseung’s hand below his retreating.
And just when he managed to sigh in relief, he felt the same hand to be placed over his, directly skin against skin and it still felt cold, cold enough for Junhyung to want to take it away but he couldn’t, not when it was held so firmly but gently at the same time.
“Tell me something real about you,” Junhyung said as Hyunseung had finally came a step lower, now beside him with his hand still in his. He seemed to be observing of some sort, letting his fingertips brush over the bones when his hand moved, dragging his fingers beside those. He traced the visible veins, pressing down lightly while taking a better grasp at his hand.
“I’m Hyunseung, play guitar, compose,” he said nonchalantly, attention far away, making Junhyung snort.
It really was at times tiring when he kept avoiding, purposefully or not, but it was still tiring when they had just finished organizing a concert and seeing it through. And right now Junhyung just wanted straightforward answers because for once, he really didn’t care how he would get them.
He was drained out, tired and distressed.
“I meant something I don’t know yet,” he continued with a sigh, only to have Hyunseung glance up at him and then back down, his own eyes following to see their hands still clasped together.
“But you know everything you need to know.”
A silence followed in which Junhyung managed to sigh once again, just to raise his eyebrow and keep that glance that persisted him to continue. He had heard so many things, had heard from many sources and he didn’t even know what was real and what wasn’t.
Everything started mixing up and it was confusing because he was always thinking he might be mistaken as nothing ever came from Hyunseung himself.
For once, at certain times he really just wanted to know.
“I have a sister an- what?” He asked, annoyed obviously at the interruption by Junhyung’s sarcastic gasp.
Junhyung just shook his head and with a suspicious glance from Hyunseung, the latter continued. “I actually live outside of Seoul, quite far away but the place looks nice. I usually pay a visit...twice a year?”
“I thought you had no family, that’s why,” Junhyung said and pulled his hand away when Hyunseung had started to roll the sleeve up. He was given a disapproving glare but the other seemed unaffected by it.
“Everyone has ups and downs in their lives,” he said, grabbing his hand again and continued to roll up the sleeve, just enough to reveal his wrist, “and I just lately started to get my life back on tracks. I went overboard but it taught me something essential I had forgotten.”
The following pause included Hyunseung letting his fingers drag lines on his wrist.
“So, and what exactly did you learn?” He asked, finally replying by at times letting his fingers play along with whatever Hyunseung was doing at that moment, or intended to do.
Hyunseung took a deep breath which he released some seconds later, “I don’t really know how to explain but it just makes a person grow. It’s like the knowledge you acquire subconsciously - it’s there but it’d take too long to put into words,” Hyunseung nudged at his side, “You better enjoy how lucky you seem to be right now. The times are different, there is more freedom, just don’t meddle in other’s affairs.”
Meddling, something that Junhyung had never been too familiar with. He usually kept away, widely known what the consequences might be of getting too deep. He knew it and he knew what Hyunseung was saying.
But it started getting harder and harder.
Junhyung furrowed his eyebrow as he tried to catch Hyunseung’s eye but uselessly, “Is that a warning I hear?” His voice was tinted with amusement and the other seemed to catch it easily.
“I meant it, just don’t, it’s only-“
“Don’t you then go under the things I’m supposed to stay away from?” He interrupted and this time it earned him a look he couldn’t exactly decipher. It seemed to be conflict which Junhyung knew for sure as he felt the same but there was also something else apart from the obvious hesitant feeling. It almost seemed like having scolded a child and only now the child repented on what he had done.
It was an awful sight and it made Junhyung feel guilty - not for saying it but for just pointing it out.
“In some way, I guess, but you seem stupid enough to give in to what you want, not what you’re supposed to do,” He replied, only receiving a nudge back.
“I’m not stupid,” Junhyung said, that small lost smile made it back to Hyunseung’s lips as he stood up, brushing the invisible dust off his jeans as he stretched his hand out.
“You will be,” he still smiled, a little daringly.
“If that’s my fate, then let it be.”
“Fate is in your hands,” Hyunseung said.
“Like I ever asked it to be."
It’s not that Junhyung doesn’t really care, he just can’t find himself enough to think about it when his mind is buzzing about something totally different. He can’t bring himself to think on how to answer to Yoseob because his entire mind is thinking about the closed door (metaphorically as the door wasn’t that closed), the clothes, the voices. He’s just glad for not giving in to his curiosity to investigate.
Because as soon as he started to leave, he recognized it, the voice, voices and he didn’t even know what to think because that’s not how it was supposed to be.
Hyunseung’s voice wasn’t supposed to be heard.
At least not in that manner. In that stupidly seductive manner that made Junhyung bite into his lip.
Some part of him had expected it, something in it wasn’t surprising for him at all but that other small part, that part that had no connections to his brain told him he hated it.
Hated whoever Hyunseung had been there with, whoever the other voice belonged to.
Though he had his assumptions, had his gut feeling because the voice was familiar, even too familiar for him not to think about it. Junhyung didn’t want to think, he didn’t even want to remember it - the only thing he wanted right now was Yoseob’s words, that he could concentrate, listen and not let his own thoughts take over him.
He hated people like that.
And it was no surprise that he almost hated himself also.
“Junhyung?” A voice brought him out again and Junhyung found the blonde looking at him, worry occupying his face as he furrowed his eyebrow just slightly. “Is something wrong? Is it about Hyunseung?”
He snorted at how correct it was.
“You shouldn’t worry about him, I know he’s been gone for a long time but today someone said that he had a meeting with Bongchol,” Yoseob continued, his attention back on the cake as he also was eyeing the music sheets before him. Junhyung had no want to deal with music right now.
He let out a deep breath, his insides turning cold and he felt even a bit disgusted, “I know that already.”
“Then what’s the problem?” The blonde immediately inquired, eyes again glancing up.
Then really, what was the problem? Wasn’t he being unreasonable, almost out of boundaries because who was he to be irritated of what Hyunseung did with his own life.
And even though Hyunseung said he was getting his life back on tracks, hidden by the meaning that he had left everything before behind, why did he still seem so involved? Why was he still there at all and why not hadn’t he escaped when he had the chance he so seemed to have yearned for.
It brought him back to the one same question.
Did he actually want to get away?
Junhyung thought it was the first time when he really wanted Hyunseung to back off from the music industry.
And for what?
For Junhyung’s own selfish reasons Hyunseung had even no idea about. And it didn’t even matter because it ‘s an old known fact that the whole world is about the individual and his own happiness, it’s the perfect excuse and exactly what Junhyung needed.
He shouldn’t be like this, but it was as far as he didn’t even care. He could only remember the touch, the voice near his ear, the breath and Junhyung finally acknowledged a definite fact.
That his situation really was worse than Dongwoon’s.
That he was seriously screwed also.
“Nothing, there is no problem at all.”