[TLB9] The Last Bridge
Title: The Last Bridge - Chapter 9
Word Count: 2422
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: OMG I'm so sorry for a filler chapter buuut...It's TOO HOT HERE and I can't concentrate at all...
______________________
It was quite funny. Even hilarious one would say.
In a totally sarcastic way.
And it was all fault of one certain male. A guy, who had shown him a slightly more optimistic side of the world even though the situation was the opposite. Someone, thanks to whom Hyunseung didn’t have to roll his eyes at everyone in annoyance - now it was just a habit he enjoyed. And on the negative side - also someone who planted a totally new type of irritation in him.
I guess everything comes with a price.
He couldn’t get rid of it despite all his efforts - it was stuck like glue. And what’s even worse, it made him feel guilty - something, that wasn’t on the list of his emotions on a daily basis. He couldn’t understand it, didn’t know how to deal with it and what’s more important, how to keep it hidden. Especially as for some reason even though he was quite good at faking expressions, this one kept showing through whenever it wanted.
He loathed it. He wanted his control back - his indifferent self which always seemed to disappear around someone.
His defensive walls. His old self. Hyunseung missed it. This feeling took over at random times, making him find himself fearing for the future. Not once in his life he thought letting go of the past would be this hard but these changes came too fast. Until this moment everything had been set in place, he knew what the next day would bring, what he would do, what he would see. But now unexpected events started making their way into his schedule. And the worst was that his heart wouldn’t want it any other way.
He was afraid.
Hyunseung felt himself tense up slightly as another wave or irritation came over - it seemed that Junhyung was near. Lately his unconscious mind picks up tracks of the younger and notifies his presence. He didn’t know if to feel glad about it or not as on the one side, the boy wouldn’t be able to creep up on him anymore. On the other hand - it felt just weird. Plain creepy…
He tried to clear his eyes from any expressions while the younger sat down in Doojoon’s place and faced Hyunseung.
“Hey, I got a nice movie, want to check it out with me?” There was a wide grin plastered on his face which made the irritation even greater as it burned in the pit of his stomach where the evil roots seemed to be located.
“I don’t think so, I have things to do,” Hyunseung managed to say and everything seemed to go accordingly to his plan as the other expression didn’t change. Though Junhyung was good at being indifferent - you never know with him.
“Naah, don’t give me that. I was already looking forward to it,” Junhyung said with a slight whine which of course made the girls in their seats gasp and whisper, Hyunseung rolled his eyes while biting into his lip, not to blurt out something he might regret later.
“I’m serious. Maybe some other time.” He wanted the younger to go, now. Lately it had gotten only worse - the more time passed the sooner he got annoyed. And it didn’t seem to fade even though he classified it under one of his ‘moods’ those teenage years brought.
But he sure hoped it’d end soon or he wouldn’t be able to withstand - and a good friend would be gone.
“Hyunseung?” The younger was still there, making him snap out if his thoughts as his eyes focused again on the familiar face before him, now it held a slight worrying expression which was probably overdone. Junhyung tended to do that. But it was still sure he sincerely meant it.
“Is something wrong?” He asked on as the older didn’t respond. Hyunseung clenched his hand into a fist as he felt he wouldn’t be able to stand still. It was also a good way to divert attention from wrong words escaping his mouth.
He closed his eyes for a second - nails pressed into the skin of his palms. It stung.
“No, everything’s fine. I’m just not feeling well. Let’s do that some other time, alright?” He managed to voice out. Junhyung looked at him for a couple of seconds with suspicion but didn’t say anything. He knew well enough when to push and when not.
“Oh ok, let me know then…” Junhyung said as he stood up. Hyunseung turned his attention back to the book before him, not really reading as his gaze was set on a word which his mind didn’t even register. Hell, he didn’t even know what book it was.
It was abnormal how much he had to try and control himself from not raising his voice. Especially as he has never been someone to get mad easily and all those annoying feelings he carried held no grudges. But this agitation - like he wanted to stomp with his feet, scream out loud, just move to get irritation out of his body. As a child he used to break pencils with his bare hands, now he doubted it would even help.
Hyunseung’s eyes shot wide open as there was an unexpected hand on his shoulder and he jumped in his seat, making the hand pull back immediately.
“Hyunseung, sure you’re alright?” Junhyung must’ve felt the tension. Somehow he really did understand the older in some weird ways even though Hyunseung tried to act unexpectedly. He still felt the need for that.
But whatever how much he tried he finally snapped. This was the last straw.
“I’m fine,” Hyunseung said harshly under his breath, careful not to let his voice get too loud but another thing called for instant silence in class - how he slammed his hand against the table with a loud thump. Every head was turned to him in a flash.
Heavy silence covered the room - everyone was anticipating something. Some of the people hadn’t even heard Hyunseung’s voice for a year or so, some probably didn’t even remember he was in their class. So much from the hope to make it until the end of high-school.
He instantly scolded himself mentally as it was totally opposite of his plan, especially as he looked up to see familiar eyes open wide. But for once Hyunseung could feel that it was 100% him. It can’t be explained but the way how the slight mask he had kept on was shaken slightly, revealing a set of orbs that were so deep and pure. It was a state of the real Junhyung.
And that’s also what made the older snap out of it in a millisecond. Glancing around fast he noticed all eyes on him so he let out a slight smile as he assured it was nothing. And one by one, everyone went back to their own business as the chit-chat filled the classroom. But one thing is sure, they still kept their ears open for gossip material.
Junhyung still stood there, now having managed on his usual expression. It was ironic - how the younger wanted the real Hyunseung to shine through but he himself held onto the mask with claws. Or was it the fact that if the older could succeed, Junhyung would get courage of it? So many possibilities which Hyunseung didn’t ponder over for too long as he let his eyes hit the ground and muttered out an apology.
“Hey, don’t worry. I was just worried.” His eyes met with the younger’s - Junhyung was slightly smiling now; too bad it was fake.
Hyunseung was about to mumble another apology but Junhyung slightly punched him against his arm, “Don’t think about it, everyone has their bad days. You know you can talk to me, right?”
Hyunseung’s eyes lock into the other’s without further thought as he could only nod. Junhyung brought his hand to the elder’s hair, messing it up before waving for goodbye and disappearing.
Hyunseung sat down with a slight thump, letting out a deep breath.
This was so uncalled for.
So much from people minding their own business - it spread like a wildfire. Gossip is gossip, only hope is that it doesn’t turn into something too different from reality. And most of the fault lies on Junhyung and his popularity. Who wouldn’t want to know that what (on the girls’ terms ‘the hottest hunk’) is up to and how many so-called scandals he’s involved in.
And lately Hyunseung himself had become quite a topic also, so combining those two together, the whole school must’ve been whispering. In Hyunseung’s case it was in stage 1 though - meaning that there were no confessions and obsessing over him. If only it would stay like that…
Or…There is another possibility - because Hyunseung dared to shout at ‘their Junhyung’ they might start disliking him. And especially doing that as a ‘nerd’ who had suddenly become slightly popular himself thanks to his looks and Junhyung. Smells like a wannabe? Somehow Hyunseung found himself liking this idea more.
“Earth to Hyunseung!” He found Yoseob’s hand waving in front of his face and understood how he must’ve fallen into his own world again. It was getting quite tiresome.
“You shouldn’t worry though. I only hear girls going on about how handsome that act was and you know, all that… ‘Omg that nerdy boy has become soo manly~’ *he imitated* And I heard some singing ChiChi’s song with…those wrong lyrics. You have been warned.”
Hyunseung snorted. This was getting totally ridiculous.
“Though it’s about time you lost your temper - this game has dragged on for quite long,” Yoseob said, trigging the other’s attention.
Yoseob must’ve read his expression. “And I here thought you were the only one who knew what was going on in that little head of yours,” he laughed out quite heartedly, making Hyunseung even more confused but he continued soon, “It’s easy as it seems you like him - simple as that.”
Hyunseung choked on his water he was at that time consuming, fits of coughs trying to get water out. But soon enough laughter followed. This was like a big joke.
“Don’t kid with me, he’s…He’s JUNHYUNG for god’s sake, I don’t like him. He’s too arrogant, obnoxious brat who does everything he wants without really thinking and-“
Yoseob interrupted him: “That’s exactly why.”
And there was silence. Yoseob had always been quite mature even though at times he acts childish. That’s why Hyunseung has been able to bear with him as he said wise words which he never let pass without further analysis. But this was whole another subject. This was about his own feelings which he should know better than anyone else.
True, he liked Junhyung’s character as he felt him to see what he should strive for - to be more himself without letting neither the past nor the present haunt. It was weird how well they seemed to understand each other considering the time. It was nowhere close to ending each other sentences but that’s what made it so perfect - they could get what other meant with no effort but at the same time this feeling that there was something very unique about the boy stayed. He was unpredictable but at the same time his actions were foreseeable.
He was, like he before said, Junhyung. That should be enough.
“You should go with it though…” Hyunseung’s ears detected Yoseob’s voice again as he glanced up from his food to see the younger stuffing his mouth.
Hyunseung looked at a random spot on the grass, his mind turning suddenly blank but some specific feeling stayed. Was it anxiousness? Or was it a nervous feeling how he’s going to deal with it? He only knew it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It felt wrong.
“This can’t be happening,” he muttered and met with Yoseob’s smile once again.
If some would think he’d now become a nervous wreck around Junhyung then that wasn’t the case at all. It still went on as usual, he’d snort or roll eyes without any further thought, would snap back at him when he went overboard. But he still knew it. It can’t be erased.
At least that irritating feeling is now fading…Which makes Yoseob’s opinion even more right… He sighed.
Hyunseung had decided on something almost from the start - he’s going to give up. He won’t try to pursue the other as it wouldn’t have any point. Only look how girls cling to him and his reactions. There was no hope, but Hyunseung didn’t feel to want any either. This was just too much.
He won’t ruin this friendship. There was just no way.
If only his stupid heart would’ve thought the same.
He was going to control it.
But what he was not able to control were his eyes sometimes landing on the younger and the inner feeling he wanted to look more...presentable. All those little things he had always hated.
And the next happening thing didn’t make it easier at all.
“Hyunseung, could you mind helping me with my studies a bit?” Junhyung asked one night as they had been comfortably watching a movie which was parted by another commercial.
The older instantly looked over at Junhyung as if he was kidding. Hyunseung was even on the verge of laughing if there hadn’t been that serious look on the other’s face. Junhyung’s eyes were slightly bigger as he had managed on a puppy-face, trying to persuade the other. And even though his lips were in a pouting pose, he still managed to give off a sincere feeling which made Hyunseung feel slightly hollow inside.
“Wait…Seriously?” Hyunseung asked just in case and the other nodded as he started talking knowing the questions beforehand.
“I just want to study composition in the university so…It’s a high-ranked one, meaning I need to start getting better grades to get in. I know there is a lot over a year to go but I can’t risk it. I need to get in,” Junhyung said with determination in his eyes. And was that….passion for something?
He has found something to strive for. Hyunseung smiled. It was nice seeing teenagers with dreams. They might not be fulfilled or they may change but even the slightest dream is better than none. It gives you a feeling of fulfillment, casting away the shadows of loneliness as you find more people into the same things.
Hyunseung hoped he could feel that one day.
One day when he’s ready to dream again.
And he accepts.
Word Count: 2422
Rating: PG
Pairing: Junhyung/Hyunseung
Summary: Two boys meet, each with their own problems. What path has life laid out for them?
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
A/N: OMG I'm so sorry for a filler chapter buuut...It's TOO HOT HERE and I can't concentrate at all...
______________________
It was quite funny. Even hilarious one would say.
In a totally sarcastic way.
And it was all fault of one certain male. A guy, who had shown him a slightly more optimistic side of the world even though the situation was the opposite. Someone, thanks to whom Hyunseung didn’t have to roll his eyes at everyone in annoyance - now it was just a habit he enjoyed. And on the negative side - also someone who planted a totally new type of irritation in him.
I guess everything comes with a price.
He couldn’t get rid of it despite all his efforts - it was stuck like glue. And what’s even worse, it made him feel guilty - something, that wasn’t on the list of his emotions on a daily basis. He couldn’t understand it, didn’t know how to deal with it and what’s more important, how to keep it hidden. Especially as for some reason even though he was quite good at faking expressions, this one kept showing through whenever it wanted.
He loathed it. He wanted his control back - his indifferent self which always seemed to disappear around someone.
His defensive walls. His old self. Hyunseung missed it. This feeling took over at random times, making him find himself fearing for the future. Not once in his life he thought letting go of the past would be this hard but these changes came too fast. Until this moment everything had been set in place, he knew what the next day would bring, what he would do, what he would see. But now unexpected events started making their way into his schedule. And the worst was that his heart wouldn’t want it any other way.
He was afraid.
Hyunseung felt himself tense up slightly as another wave or irritation came over - it seemed that Junhyung was near. Lately his unconscious mind picks up tracks of the younger and notifies his presence. He didn’t know if to feel glad about it or not as on the one side, the boy wouldn’t be able to creep up on him anymore. On the other hand - it felt just weird. Plain creepy…
He tried to clear his eyes from any expressions while the younger sat down in Doojoon’s place and faced Hyunseung.
“Hey, I got a nice movie, want to check it out with me?” There was a wide grin plastered on his face which made the irritation even greater as it burned in the pit of his stomach where the evil roots seemed to be located.
“I don’t think so, I have things to do,” Hyunseung managed to say and everything seemed to go accordingly to his plan as the other expression didn’t change. Though Junhyung was good at being indifferent - you never know with him.
“Naah, don’t give me that. I was already looking forward to it,” Junhyung said with a slight whine which of course made the girls in their seats gasp and whisper, Hyunseung rolled his eyes while biting into his lip, not to blurt out something he might regret later.
“I’m serious. Maybe some other time.” He wanted the younger to go, now. Lately it had gotten only worse - the more time passed the sooner he got annoyed. And it didn’t seem to fade even though he classified it under one of his ‘moods’ those teenage years brought.
But he sure hoped it’d end soon or he wouldn’t be able to withstand - and a good friend would be gone.
“Hyunseung?” The younger was still there, making him snap out if his thoughts as his eyes focused again on the familiar face before him, now it held a slight worrying expression which was probably overdone. Junhyung tended to do that. But it was still sure he sincerely meant it.
“Is something wrong?” He asked on as the older didn’t respond. Hyunseung clenched his hand into a fist as he felt he wouldn’t be able to stand still. It was also a good way to divert attention from wrong words escaping his mouth.
He closed his eyes for a second - nails pressed into the skin of his palms. It stung.
“No, everything’s fine. I’m just not feeling well. Let’s do that some other time, alright?” He managed to voice out. Junhyung looked at him for a couple of seconds with suspicion but didn’t say anything. He knew well enough when to push and when not.
“Oh ok, let me know then…” Junhyung said as he stood up. Hyunseung turned his attention back to the book before him, not really reading as his gaze was set on a word which his mind didn’t even register. Hell, he didn’t even know what book it was.
It was abnormal how much he had to try and control himself from not raising his voice. Especially as he has never been someone to get mad easily and all those annoying feelings he carried held no grudges. But this agitation - like he wanted to stomp with his feet, scream out loud, just move to get irritation out of his body. As a child he used to break pencils with his bare hands, now he doubted it would even help.
Hyunseung’s eyes shot wide open as there was an unexpected hand on his shoulder and he jumped in his seat, making the hand pull back immediately.
“Hyunseung, sure you’re alright?” Junhyung must’ve felt the tension. Somehow he really did understand the older in some weird ways even though Hyunseung tried to act unexpectedly. He still felt the need for that.
But whatever how much he tried he finally snapped. This was the last straw.
“I’m fine,” Hyunseung said harshly under his breath, careful not to let his voice get too loud but another thing called for instant silence in class - how he slammed his hand against the table with a loud thump. Every head was turned to him in a flash.
Heavy silence covered the room - everyone was anticipating something. Some of the people hadn’t even heard Hyunseung’s voice for a year or so, some probably didn’t even remember he was in their class. So much from the hope to make it until the end of high-school.
He instantly scolded himself mentally as it was totally opposite of his plan, especially as he looked up to see familiar eyes open wide. But for once Hyunseung could feel that it was 100% him. It can’t be explained but the way how the slight mask he had kept on was shaken slightly, revealing a set of orbs that were so deep and pure. It was a state of the real Junhyung.
And that’s also what made the older snap out of it in a millisecond. Glancing around fast he noticed all eyes on him so he let out a slight smile as he assured it was nothing. And one by one, everyone went back to their own business as the chit-chat filled the classroom. But one thing is sure, they still kept their ears open for gossip material.
Junhyung still stood there, now having managed on his usual expression. It was ironic - how the younger wanted the real Hyunseung to shine through but he himself held onto the mask with claws. Or was it the fact that if the older could succeed, Junhyung would get courage of it? So many possibilities which Hyunseung didn’t ponder over for too long as he let his eyes hit the ground and muttered out an apology.
“Hey, don’t worry. I was just worried.” His eyes met with the younger’s - Junhyung was slightly smiling now; too bad it was fake.
Hyunseung was about to mumble another apology but Junhyung slightly punched him against his arm, “Don’t think about it, everyone has their bad days. You know you can talk to me, right?”
Hyunseung’s eyes lock into the other’s without further thought as he could only nod. Junhyung brought his hand to the elder’s hair, messing it up before waving for goodbye and disappearing.
Hyunseung sat down with a slight thump, letting out a deep breath.
This was so uncalled for.
So much from people minding their own business - it spread like a wildfire. Gossip is gossip, only hope is that it doesn’t turn into something too different from reality. And most of the fault lies on Junhyung and his popularity. Who wouldn’t want to know that what (on the girls’ terms ‘the hottest hunk’) is up to and how many so-called scandals he’s involved in.
And lately Hyunseung himself had become quite a topic also, so combining those two together, the whole school must’ve been whispering. In Hyunseung’s case it was in stage 1 though - meaning that there were no confessions and obsessing over him. If only it would stay like that…
Or…There is another possibility - because Hyunseung dared to shout at ‘their Junhyung’ they might start disliking him. And especially doing that as a ‘nerd’ who had suddenly become slightly popular himself thanks to his looks and Junhyung. Smells like a wannabe? Somehow Hyunseung found himself liking this idea more.
“Earth to Hyunseung!” He found Yoseob’s hand waving in front of his face and understood how he must’ve fallen into his own world again. It was getting quite tiresome.
“You shouldn’t worry though. I only hear girls going on about how handsome that act was and you know, all that… ‘Omg that nerdy boy has become soo manly~’ *he imitated* And I heard some singing ChiChi’s song with…those wrong lyrics. You have been warned.”
Hyunseung snorted. This was getting totally ridiculous.
“Though it’s about time you lost your temper - this game has dragged on for quite long,” Yoseob said, trigging the other’s attention.
Yoseob must’ve read his expression. “And I here thought you were the only one who knew what was going on in that little head of yours,” he laughed out quite heartedly, making Hyunseung even more confused but he continued soon, “It’s easy as it seems you like him - simple as that.”
Hyunseung choked on his water he was at that time consuming, fits of coughs trying to get water out. But soon enough laughter followed. This was like a big joke.
“Don’t kid with me, he’s…He’s JUNHYUNG for god’s sake, I don’t like him. He’s too arrogant, obnoxious brat who does everything he wants without really thinking and-“
Yoseob interrupted him: “That’s exactly why.”
And there was silence. Yoseob had always been quite mature even though at times he acts childish. That’s why Hyunseung has been able to bear with him as he said wise words which he never let pass without further analysis. But this was whole another subject. This was about his own feelings which he should know better than anyone else.
True, he liked Junhyung’s character as he felt him to see what he should strive for - to be more himself without letting neither the past nor the present haunt. It was weird how well they seemed to understand each other considering the time. It was nowhere close to ending each other sentences but that’s what made it so perfect - they could get what other meant with no effort but at the same time this feeling that there was something very unique about the boy stayed. He was unpredictable but at the same time his actions were foreseeable.
He was, like he before said, Junhyung. That should be enough.
“You should go with it though…” Hyunseung’s ears detected Yoseob’s voice again as he glanced up from his food to see the younger stuffing his mouth.
Hyunseung looked at a random spot on the grass, his mind turning suddenly blank but some specific feeling stayed. Was it anxiousness? Or was it a nervous feeling how he’s going to deal with it? He only knew it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It felt wrong.
“This can’t be happening,” he muttered and met with Yoseob’s smile once again.
If some would think he’d now become a nervous wreck around Junhyung then that wasn’t the case at all. It still went on as usual, he’d snort or roll eyes without any further thought, would snap back at him when he went overboard. But he still knew it. It can’t be erased.
At least that irritating feeling is now fading…Which makes Yoseob’s opinion even more right… He sighed.
Hyunseung had decided on something almost from the start - he’s going to give up. He won’t try to pursue the other as it wouldn’t have any point. Only look how girls cling to him and his reactions. There was no hope, but Hyunseung didn’t feel to want any either. This was just too much.
He won’t ruin this friendship. There was just no way.
If only his stupid heart would’ve thought the same.
He was going to control it.
But what he was not able to control were his eyes sometimes landing on the younger and the inner feeling he wanted to look more...presentable. All those little things he had always hated.
And the next happening thing didn’t make it easier at all.
“Hyunseung, could you mind helping me with my studies a bit?” Junhyung asked one night as they had been comfortably watching a movie which was parted by another commercial.
The older instantly looked over at Junhyung as if he was kidding. Hyunseung was even on the verge of laughing if there hadn’t been that serious look on the other’s face. Junhyung’s eyes were slightly bigger as he had managed on a puppy-face, trying to persuade the other. And even though his lips were in a pouting pose, he still managed to give off a sincere feeling which made Hyunseung feel slightly hollow inside.
“Wait…Seriously?” Hyunseung asked just in case and the other nodded as he started talking knowing the questions beforehand.
“I just want to study composition in the university so…It’s a high-ranked one, meaning I need to start getting better grades to get in. I know there is a lot over a year to go but I can’t risk it. I need to get in,” Junhyung said with determination in his eyes. And was that….passion for something?
He has found something to strive for. Hyunseung smiled. It was nice seeing teenagers with dreams. They might not be fulfilled or they may change but even the slightest dream is better than none. It gives you a feeling of fulfillment, casting away the shadows of loneliness as you find more people into the same things.
Hyunseung hoped he could feel that one day.
One day when he’s ready to dream again.
And he accepts.