Before I knew it, today was here, a hundred more yesterdays gone, and no tomorrow left...
So today ethel left for australia
or this morning at liek 3 30 when we woke up
and i was doing okay then, and i didnt
cry as i got ready
but then she came into my room and kayla and andi
were here, and she came in sat down
and she tried talking, but it didnt really work
and she started crying
and eveyone but us(me her and the people in my room)
were downstiars, and she went in her room
i followed her in there and she was crying in a ballish on her bed.
And i came and laid down behind her, and didnt really say anything
untill she said thank you so much for being my sister this year
and i totally lost it and i started balling with her on her bed
and as much as i tried to control it, i couldnt, and i tried to answer
but it was liek impossible
and then c-sy came up and we all cried for a short bit, and
went downstairs and kinda regained myself and we got in the car
and drove and it was pretty silent
and i was okay again untill she was just about to get on the plane
and she was going around and hugging everyone and then she came up to hannah and
gave her a hug and i was like oh god im next and i almost lost it again
and she was hugging hannah and she said
i cant barely stand to even look at you
and then they said somethign liek
"ethel oliver you shoudl be boarding your flight now"
and so she came over to give me my hug
and i started balling again
i mean it just seemed so cruel and unfair and every negative emotion
to just take her from my(and so many other peoples) lifes like that
and i think i said somthign about how jsut because we dont live together
anymore doesnt mean were not sisters i dono that whole hug was one
long us balling.
and she started to walk to the gate and such again
and she got through and i started balling agian
because after that i couldnt get to her
i mean one stupid plastic fence and a ticket lady was like all
that there was, but i just couldnt get to her anymore
And if she started crying, i couldnt just go into her room and crawl up with her
into a little ball and comfort her, or go next door to the spanish classroom
and just sit with her. And i hated that i coulndt be there for her
or that she couldnt physically be there for me when i cried again
Seeing as how shes one of the seclect few who has ever seen me cry
and like the first one to comfort me when i do
and so the whole balling started again
and again
and then just seeing some peoples reaactions killed me even more
and the reality of gone(for now) just sank in
and i was just sitting there with hannah crying our eyes out
and after security she looked back one last tiem
and she looked so sad i didnt think i coudl take it
and she just kind of waved her little passport thing
and left because she was way late
and then i went over to kayla and i just kept crying
which if you know me is so unlike me
but im pretty sure i paid the debt of about all the funerals ive been too, the notebook, that movie about that midget that should have made me cry, and every single goodbye ive ever said today(and now again god)
and then today in school(running 30 hours no sleep[well one hour]) i kept hulicinating
liek in the lunch room i looked over at some random table and she was liek there i swear
and im not crazy juts tired dont worry but it made me so sad because being the
exauhsted person i was i believed it was her for like the three seconds my eyes were closed
and then i got all dislexic and coudlnt read the nubmer on my accounting test
and it pretty much sucked, and was probably the saddest day of liek ever
and now that i have succeded making myself cry again(god)
i am going to shower, going to bed, and maybe the b ball games, if i start to feel better
Always,
christina lynn
i love you ethie<3, thank you for being my sister