Fic: Curse Your Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal [Glee, Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn, Puck]
Title: Curse Your Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 4k (SORRY)
Summary: "The Buffy guy?" Rachel says, her eyebrows raised. "You're having a nerd party for the Buffy guy."
Spoilers: Remember that time Quinn was pregnant? That's really, maybe, the only spoiler that could possible spoil and if it is a spoiler...slap yourself. I don't think I spoil any of Firefly in this...
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. I'm looking at you this time, Joss.
Notes: A sequel of sorts to May the Fourth Be With You (as suggested by felonious_skunk), but it's not entirely necessary to read that one first. This one is based on my other nerdy love Firefly and if you don't know what's going on in that show, you might not get what's going on in this fic...
Puck's Apartment
"What did you tell Rachel?" Santana asks, plopping down on Puck's leather couch next to Quinn.
"I'm bonding with Puck over baby angst," Quinn answers.
"That's kind of low," Santana says, but there's an approving smile on her face, and it's clear she's okay with this tactic.
Quinn shrugs. "It worked. What did you tell Brittany?"
"I bought her a duck," Santana answers, grabbing the bowl of chips Puck had set on the coffee table.
"You what?"
"I bought her a duck. That shit will keep her occupied for hours," Santana repeats, a smug look on her face.
"Okay," Puck announces before Quinn can say anything else. "Between the three of us we've got the box sets for Buffy, Angel, Dr. Horrible, Firefly and I've got all of Dollhouse stored on my hard drive," he says, pointing to the little computer tower hooked up to his TV.
"I still think Veronica Mars should be allowed," Santana says.
Quinn shakes her head. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yes it does," Santana argues. "He was a huge fan of the show and he even shows up in that season 2 episode!"
"We're not honoring Joss Whedon's birthday by watching a show he didn't even have a hand in making."
"It's his birthday. He'd want to watch Veronica Mars," Santana continues, scowling at Quinn's disbelieving face.
"Q's right," Puck decides, trying to ignore the way Santana looks like she's going to smack him. He shifts closer to Quinn just in case. "These are our choices. Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse or Firefly?" He spreads out the DVDs on his table and Santana leans forward to observe them.
"What happened to Dr. Horrible?"
"Shit's like two minutes long, we'll watch that anyway."
"Okay, fine. I vote Angel," Quinn affirms, leaning back into the couch cushions.
"What? Hell no. I vote Firefly," Santana responds, glaring at Quinn.
Both girls turn to look at Puck expectantly, waiting for him to cast the deciding vote. From the look on his face, he'd rather get kicked in the balls. "I'm going to go get the alcohol."
Santana rolls her eyes at his lame exit and turns back to Quinn. "Arm wrestle for it," she says, putting her arm out and raising her eyebrow in challenge.
"What are you, a twelve year old boy? We're not going to arm wrestle. Flip a coin."
Santana pulls a quarter out of her pocket, but says "What are you, a seventy year old grandma?" snottily, before handing it to her friend.
"Call it in the air," Quinn says, ignoring Santana's glare and flipping the quarter between them.
"Tails never fails," Santana calls, whipping her hand out to grab the spinning coin midair. She smirks triumphantly when she slams the quarter on the back of her hand and reveals it to Quinn. Tails. Firefly.
"Browncoats it is," the dark haired girl proclaims, jumping up from the couch and grabbing the DVDs from the table.
"Shiny," Quinn mumbles halfheartedly.
--
Five hours later there's an empty pizza box sitting on the table surrounded by empty beer bottles and an assortment of Legos that Quinn is currently putting together absently. Santana's spread out on the couch, her feet propped in Puck's lap because he wouldn't move when she told him to and screw him if he thought that would prevent her from laying down comfortably. She's flipping through a hardcover book with the words Serenity: The Roleplaying Game emblazoned on the front.
"I get to be Zoe," she says, glancing from the book to watch Nathan Fillion throw a punch on screen.
Quinn rolls her eyes. Santana always picks Zoe. "You could like, I don't know, be actually creative and create your own character this time."
"You could like, I don't know, shut the hell up and I won't punch you this time," Santana mimics.
Puck's eyes shift between them interestingly and over the sound of the TV they can both hear him chanting "fight, fight, fight" under his breath.
--
Rachel and Quinn's Apartment
When Quinn leaves early that morning telling Rachel that she needed to see Puck and probably wouldn't be back all day, the first thing Rachel did was dig out her box of collector edition Barbra Streisand DVDs. If Quinn wasn't going to be around all day, she was going to make the most of her Saturday.
By midday, she's completely involved in her second viewing of The Way We Were, her eyes watering because she knows what's coming at the end and she's already depressed about it, so she jumps, startled, when a loud pounding resounds through the room.
"Brittany!" Rachel says, surprised when she opens the door to reveal the tall blonde. Her eyes get even wider when she notices her friend seems to be holding a duck in her arms.
Brittany notices the look. "Santana bought me a duck," she offers.
"I see."
"Santana bought me a duck and now I'm...," she tilts her head up in thought. "What's the word?"
"Happy?"
"No," she denies, but her brow scrunches up after a second. "I mean yes. Happy. Ducks are great," she answers turning to give a little smile to her new duck friend. "But no, now I'm that other thing. The thing were I think Santana is up to something."
Paranoid, Rachel thinks. "Suspicious?"
"Yes, that," Brittany exclaims, pointing her finger at Rachel excitedly and pushing past her to walk into the apartment.
"Okay," Rachel drawls, shutting the door behind them and following Brittany into the living room. She's unsure of where this conversation is going but she's gotten so used to Brittany over the years that she knows to just sit back and wait until her friend gets to the point.
"Right, is Quinn here?"
Rachel shakes her head. "No, she's at Noah's."
Brittany gasps like she just heard surprising and horrible news. "Why is she at Puck's?"
"Apparently she was feeling depressed about the whole teenage pregnancy slash baby adoption thing, even though that was ages ago, but she felt that only Noah could truly understand what she's going through so she wanted to spend some time sorting out her feelings with him. Why she doesn't feel like she can talk to me I haven't a clue, but I just want her to be happy and if bonding with Noah today will make her that way than I am amenable to that solution."
"Oh," Brittany says, her blank expression telling Rachel that she didn't really catch most of that explanation but can't be bothered to ask for clarification.
"Where's Santana?"
The question puts a pout on her friend's face. "I don't know. I lost her again."
"I thought she bought you the duck," Rachel replies, pointing at the creature still in her friend's arms.
"She did. Then she left." Brittany's eyes glance around suspiciously like Santana might actually be in the apartment waiting to jump out at them. "She left and now I'm that thing, because she bought me a duck and then she left."
"Yes, I grasped that," states Rachel, nodding her head reassuringly. "Where do you think she is?"
Brittany shrugs. "I don't know. I thought she might be here."
"She's not."
"Right."
There's a long pause before Rachel offers, "Did you want me to help you look for her?"
When Brittany's eyes brighten and a smile spreads across her face, Rachel grabs her keys off the table and goes to find her shoes.
"Let's stop by Puck's first," Brittany says as they leave the apartment. Rachel doesn't think Santana is going to be there, but she's doing this to make Brittany happy and if stopping at Puck's will make her friend happy than so be it. Plus, she'll get to see Quinn, whom she hasn't seen in way too many hours. She takes her phone out of her pocket to send a quick text message to her girlfriend.
--
Puck's Apartment
"Hello, River is like crazy as all fuck. That is an advantage. She'd kick Cameron into next week," Santana argues, staring at Quinn like the blonde girl sprouted an extra head.
Puck grabs the remote and turns the volume up on his TV. Seriously. How their parties always result in Quinn and Santana engaged in epic "who would win in a fight?" arguments, he doesn't know.
"Cameron is a robot assassin," Quinn stresses, fiddling around with the a small replica of Serenity she put together with various Legos.
"Whatever, River Tam would kick everyone's asses and then laugh manically all over their robot corpses," Santana replies, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Puck," Quinn says, looking over at him. "Who do you think would win in a fight? River or Cameron."
He looks between the two of them and wonders again why the hell he always gets stuck in this position. Normally he'd be all for sticking himself in between two admittedly hot girls, but seriously, these girls always did him more harm than good.
When he feels Santana's feet dig into his thigh and sees Quinn get that twinge in her eye she always gets before she slaps him he puts his hands up defensively and says, "Summer Glau's hot."
The girls are clearly unimpressed with his non-answer answer and continue to glare at him for a bit but they seem to eventually accept it, both with a roll of their eyes. Then Quinn's phone beeps from it's place on the floor.
"Crap," Quinn exclaims when she checks the message. "Rachel's coming!"
"Say what?!" Puck jumps off the couch, throwing Santana's legs off of him.
"Why the hell is Berry coming here?" Santana asks, slight concern in her voice, but mostly amusement. Watching Quinn get in trouble with Rachel Berry would just never get old.
"She's bringing Brittany," Quinn answers, an arrogant smirk on her face as she looks at Santana.
"What?!" Santana jumps off the couch as she yells the question.
They're all standing in the living room, not really breathing, but eyes wide in fear as they stare at each other, waiting for someone to do something. When there's an audible knock on the door, they all jump simultaneously.
"Shit, clean this stuff up!" Puck scrambles towards the TV to turn it off, trying to grab DVD boxes as he goes.
"What are you doing? Answer the door," Quinn demands, shoving her Legos and action figures under the couch.
"Coming!" Puck yells through the apartment before turning back to Quinn and Santana. "Clean this shit up first, I am not fucking having those two walk into yet another nerdfest."
They work as fast as they can, Quinn making sure there are no more toys on the ground, Puck hiding his DVDs as best he can and Santana trying to find a place for all the books and notebooks full of character sheets and world designs.
"Quinn, take your shirt off!" Puck demands as he's about to leave the room.
"Puck, what the hell?"
His face screws up and he shakes his head around. "No," he states, staring pointedly at her. "Not that. You're wearing that dumb ass Fruity Oaty Bar shirt."
She looks down and low and behold she's wearing that shirt she bought at the last convention. "Crap!" Her hands whip the shirt over her head without a second thought. As she's searching desperately for a place to store the shirt she sees Puck try unsuccessfully to leave the room and has to fight the urge to laugh when he runs straight into the wall, staring at her the whole time.
Yeah, she's still got it.
"Puckerman, stop fucking drooling and go answer the door, Jesus!" Santana looks less than amused. Well, Santana looks normal.
He gets up and leaves, but not before sending another leer at Quinn. The girl is shirtless in his living room. Why wouldn't he make inappropriate faces at her?
Then he answers the door and comes face to face with Rachel Berry. Right. That's why.
Back in the living room Quinn and Santana can hear Puck greeting Brittany and Rachel, panic coursing through them as they try and come up with an excuse for why they're all together.
"You need a fucking shirt," Santana hisses, looking around the room like one might appear soon.
"Give me yours," Quinn demands in a forced whisper.
"What, no. How would that help?"
"Your sweatshirt, you moron. Give it," she replies, holding her hand out and tapping her foot impatiently. "Hurry up!" She can hear Puck attempting to stall in the entryway, but she knows Rachel will be in here in a minute.
Santana rips the sweatshirt off her head and throws it in Quinn's direction, adjusting her t-shirt and searching desperately for a reason to give to Brittany when she comes in.
Before either of them can come up with anything logical, but thankfully after Quinn gets the sweatshirt on, Brittany and Rachel enter the living room, Puck trailing behind them. When Rachel sees Santana her eyes widen in shock and she looks around the room quizzically, trying to figure out why Santana would even be there.
"Hey," Rachel greets, still kind of staring at Santana but coming around the couch and putting her arms around her girlfriend's waist.
"Hey, baby," Quinn answers, pressing a kiss to Rachel's forehead and trying to put an expression on her face that says I'm depressed about that old teen pregnancy thing and not I've spent the day worshiping at the altar of Joss Whedon.
"We came looking for Santana," explains Rachel as she watches the girl in question greet Brittany.
"Hey, Britt," Santana says, as innocently as Santana Lopez can sound. "Do you like the duck?"
"Yes," Brittany says, genuinely, holding the duck up for everyone to see. But when she brings it back down into her arms her eyes are narrowed and her bottom lip is sticking out. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping Quinn," Santana replies, gesturing at her friend. Which isn't totally a lie. Santana did help Quinn today. Except it wasn't anything like emotional or some bullshit like that. She helped her learn that River Tam is vastly superior to Cameron. Obviously.
"With what?" Brittany looks over at Quinn and tilts her head to the side. "Isn't that your sweatshirt?"
Rachel pulls back to look at the object in question, keeping her arms around Quinn. "Why are you wearing Santana's sweatshirt?" Rachel asks with sudden suspicion as if the sweatshirt was all the proof she needed that something else was going on in this living room.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Quinn was cold," Santana supplies, lamely.
Brittany still looks kind of confused as she continues to look at Santana with a pout on her face. "Why didn't you tell me where you were?"
"Sorry, babe. I lost track of time. Totally forgot," she answers, wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist and kissing her on the shoulder.
"Yeah, Quinn here's been a total fucking mess all day," Puck interjects.
"Yup, totally," Quinn affirms and she almost wants to slap herself with how stupid it all sounds.
Rachel's giving her a look that says yeah, this is kind of sketchy because she's pretty sure her facial expression is not something a depressed person would be wearing. It's hard to fake it for someone that has basically memorized the meaning of every single motion her face makes. Rachel's obsessive personality meant that after years of dating, she could read Quinn like a book.
"You've been a mess all day?" Rachel asks with something like concern in her voice. Quinn isn't fooled though, the look on Rachel's face says I've so put it all together now.
The brunette disengages from Quinn and walks towards the coffee table where they had failed to clear the beer bottles and pizza box. She picks up three empty Snickers wrappers, Quinn's favorite candy bar. "Eating your feelings, today?"
Quinn nods, smiles and continues to watch her girlfriend inspect the contents of the table, hoping she won't notice the small plastic leg of her Jayne figurine that's sticking out from under the couch.
"What's that?" Brittany asks suddenly, pointing at a piece of paper poking out from under the pizza box.
Rachel grabs it and pulls it out, studying it for a moment before Santana recognizes what it is and tries unsuccessfully to swipe it out of Rachel's hands.
Quinn stares at Santana trying to remember what the hell could be on that paper that has her friend so terrified when she remembers. They totally wrote the storyboard for their next roleplaying game campaign on that piece of paper. Shit.
"Rach," she starts.
"Who is Malcolm Reynolds?"
"Greatest Captain in the verse," Puck responds automatically. The guy needs to work on his nerd filter. "Uh, I mean..."
"Oh. My. God." Rachel says. "Is it Star Wars day again or something?"
"No," Santana answers, looking offended. "It's June, you moron."
"Watch it, Santana," Quinn snaps, coming to Rachel's defense.
"What's on the paper, Rachel?" Brittany asks, setting her duck down to wander around Puck's apartment.
Rachel hands the paper over to the taller girl for her to inspect and turns to look at Quinn expectantly. "So, it's," she pauses to check her phone. "June 23rd. What is going on today that requires you, Santana, and Puck to get together and have another nerd party."
"I don't know what you're talking about, baby," she says shrugging her shoulders innocently. It's worth a try at least.
"Uh huh," Rachel replies, walking back towards Quinn. "Then what-" her speaking is interrupted when she steps right on the little plastic leg sticking out from under the couch. She yelps and grabs her foot, nearly falling over before Quinn grabs her around the waist to keep her upright. "What was that?!"
Quinn throws a look at Puck, her eyes wide with warning because he better grab that action figure before someone discovers her stash of Legos but Brittany beats him to it.
"It's a doll," she states, twisting the thing around and studying it from all angles.
"Nerd Party!" Rachel exclaims, a triumphant finger wagging in Quinn's face as she continues to rub her foot. "Okay, Fabray," she says, her tone accusatory. "Full disclosure. What's actually going on?"
When Quinn fails to answer Rachel surveys the other two culprits. "Someone tell us."
Santana crosses her arms over her chest and flips her hair over her shoulder. If they're going to spill the beans about the day she is sure as hell not going to be the one that sounds stupid.
Quinn moves Rachel to the couch but doesn't answer, staring at Puck pleadingly.
"It's Joss Whedon's birthday," he mumbles.
"Who's Joss Whedon?" Brittany whispers to Santana.
"The Buffy guy?" Rachel says, her eyebrows raised. "You're having a nerd party for the Buffy guy."
"Okay, A," Santana joins, uncrossing one arm to wave it around in Rachel's direction. "He's way more than the 'Buffy guy' and B, so what if we are?"
Brittany puts the action figure on the table where she had discarded the paper earlier. "It's like Star Wars day?"
"Kind of," answers Puck, a sheepish expression on his face.
"Well what do you do?"
"We watch his shows and stuff," Puck says.
Quinn perks up. "Hey you guys want to watch-"
Halfway through the sentence Puck and Santana both jump forward, a loud "No!" leaving both of their lips.
There's a reason Santana didn't tell Brittany where she was going today and she glares at Quinn to remind her that there's a reason Rachel wasn't told either.
"Um," Quinn says once she realizes what she almost just said and remembers with clarity the pact she made with Santana a month ago. No more girlfriends at geekfests.
"Are you going to be watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog or any of his musically themed episodes?" Of course Rachel Berry is aware of Joss Whedon's musical contributions.
"Yeah we're doing the broadway tribute to Joss Whedon," Santana answers, her voice dripping with sarcasm as her eyes roll. It gets a chuckle out of Brittany even though she can't really follow what's going on.
"I was merely wondering if you were going to be watching any of his-"
"Rach," Quinn interrupts her, shaking her head.
"No," Puck huffs. "This is not fucking happening again. This is one day. One day where I get to do this and I'm having the fucking girls ruin it again. You two out." He points toward the doorway to his apartment. "Out," he demands.
Brittany looks hurt at being dismissed that way and Santana, expectantly, throws a look that tells him clearly I'm going to destroy you once Brittany isn't watching. When he sees her face he adds, "Please," and Santana ushers Brittany in the hallway to talk to her.
Rachel manages to look completely offended but she gets up to leave anyway. She's halfway out the room when she looks back at Quinn expectantly. "Quinn...," she trails off when she realizes her girlfriend isn't getting to leave.
"Rach, it's Joss Whedon's birthday," she tries, lamely. Plus, she's concerned she broke her Lego-Serenity when she pushed it under the couch. She can't leave.
"Quinn Fabray," Rachel looks at her, exasperated but can't stop the grin she feels crawling over her face. It's not particularly endearing that Quinn lied to her, but if she's completely honest with herself, Quinn's dorkiness is pretty cute. Kind of hot, actually.
With a glare for Puck, she walks back over to Quinn and brings her arms around the blonde girl's neck. "Fine, but don't stay out late," she says, punctuating it with a kiss. "Nerd." And with a wink over her shoulder she's gone.
Puck and Quinn stare at each other, both letting out long exhales when they hear the front door open and close, signaling Rachel's departure.
"Thank. God," Puck says as sits back down on the couch and finds the remote. "Now I can finally get my Whedon on in freakin' peace."
"Where did Santana go?"
They hear giggling and a dull thump as something hits the wall separating the living room and the entryway.
Puck's eyes go wide in realization. "Lopez, if you have sex in the front of my apartment, I will fucking cut you!"
--
Later that night, after Santana gets Brittany to leave (with the duck that they spend twenty minutes trying to find) and then punches Puck in the arm for totally cockblocking her, they watch the rest of Firefly they way they had planned and Quinn finishes an entire mockup of their roleplaying campaign with her Legos.
After Puck busts out some more beers and finds a bottle of tequila he had stashed in the cabinet, things start to get interesting.
First, Quinn decides they're going to play a drinking game, but she makes the mistake of letting Santana make the rules. With rules like drink every time someone says rutting or every time Jayne does something stupid they get drunk pretty fast.
Second, Puck decides that they have to sing at least one song from Dr. Horrible in between each episode. This gets pretty out of hand as the night goes on and at one point Santana ends up standing on the coffee table, singing Brand New Day, with vigor, at Quinn.
Last, as the last episode winds down and they're appropriately satisfied and depressed, they decide that the obvious thing to do next is try and learn Chinese. At 3AM, drunk as all hell, off of a sketchy website Puck pulls up on his phone. Suffice it to say, none of them will be professional translators in the future.
"You think the girls are pissed?" Santana's hanging off Quinn as they make their way out of Puck's apartment.
"Probably," Quinn muses.
There's a pause where the two of them are standing outside Puck's door, swaying a little with the liquor in their systems, and looking at each other.
"Gorram worth it, though."
Quinn grins.
--
A week later the five of them get together for dinner. It's not entirely unusual, they all live in the same city and get along relatively well, so a Wednesday night dinner had been established years ago. This week they're at some new restaurant that Rachel just had to try.
When their food arrives and Rachel observes the gourmet creation she had ordered her eyes widen with realization that it's not going to be the easiest thing to ingest. She's not really sure how she's going to get it from her plate to her mouth much less what's going to happen after.
Santana looks across the table at her, noticing her dilemma and smirks. "I told you," she says having told Rachel that the meal would be way too difficult to eat.
"Told her what?" Quinn asks, turning towards her girlfriend and regarding the plate in front of her.
Rachel looks up at Quinn and, with a completely straight face, says, "My food is problematic."
When Santana, Quinn and Puck can't stop laughing the rest of the meal, she has no idea why.
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 4k (SORRY)
Summary: "The Buffy guy?" Rachel says, her eyebrows raised. "You're having a nerd party for the Buffy guy."
Spoilers: Remember that time Quinn was pregnant? That's really, maybe, the only spoiler that could possible spoil and if it is a spoiler...slap yourself. I don't think I spoil any of Firefly in this...
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. I'm looking at you this time, Joss.
Notes: A sequel of sorts to May the Fourth Be With You (as suggested by felonious_skunk), but it's not entirely necessary to read that one first. This one is based on my other nerdy love Firefly and if you don't know what's going on in that show, you might not get what's going on in this fic...
Puck's Apartment
"What did you tell Rachel?" Santana asks, plopping down on Puck's leather couch next to Quinn.
"I'm bonding with Puck over baby angst," Quinn answers.
"That's kind of low," Santana says, but there's an approving smile on her face, and it's clear she's okay with this tactic.
Quinn shrugs. "It worked. What did you tell Brittany?"
"I bought her a duck," Santana answers, grabbing the bowl of chips Puck had set on the coffee table.
"You what?"
"I bought her a duck. That shit will keep her occupied for hours," Santana repeats, a smug look on her face.
"Okay," Puck announces before Quinn can say anything else. "Between the three of us we've got the box sets for Buffy, Angel, Dr. Horrible, Firefly and I've got all of Dollhouse stored on my hard drive," he says, pointing to the little computer tower hooked up to his TV.
"I still think Veronica Mars should be allowed," Santana says.
Quinn shakes her head. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yes it does," Santana argues. "He was a huge fan of the show and he even shows up in that season 2 episode!"
"We're not honoring Joss Whedon's birthday by watching a show he didn't even have a hand in making."
"It's his birthday. He'd want to watch Veronica Mars," Santana continues, scowling at Quinn's disbelieving face.
"Q's right," Puck decides, trying to ignore the way Santana looks like she's going to smack him. He shifts closer to Quinn just in case. "These are our choices. Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse or Firefly?" He spreads out the DVDs on his table and Santana leans forward to observe them.
"What happened to Dr. Horrible?"
"Shit's like two minutes long, we'll watch that anyway."
"Okay, fine. I vote Angel," Quinn affirms, leaning back into the couch cushions.
"What? Hell no. I vote Firefly," Santana responds, glaring at Quinn.
Both girls turn to look at Puck expectantly, waiting for him to cast the deciding vote. From the look on his face, he'd rather get kicked in the balls. "I'm going to go get the alcohol."
Santana rolls her eyes at his lame exit and turns back to Quinn. "Arm wrestle for it," she says, putting her arm out and raising her eyebrow in challenge.
"What are you, a twelve year old boy? We're not going to arm wrestle. Flip a coin."
Santana pulls a quarter out of her pocket, but says "What are you, a seventy year old grandma?" snottily, before handing it to her friend.
"Call it in the air," Quinn says, ignoring Santana's glare and flipping the quarter between them.
"Tails never fails," Santana calls, whipping her hand out to grab the spinning coin midair. She smirks triumphantly when she slams the quarter on the back of her hand and reveals it to Quinn. Tails. Firefly.
"Browncoats it is," the dark haired girl proclaims, jumping up from the couch and grabbing the DVDs from the table.
"Shiny," Quinn mumbles halfheartedly.
--
Five hours later there's an empty pizza box sitting on the table surrounded by empty beer bottles and an assortment of Legos that Quinn is currently putting together absently. Santana's spread out on the couch, her feet propped in Puck's lap because he wouldn't move when she told him to and screw him if he thought that would prevent her from laying down comfortably. She's flipping through a hardcover book with the words Serenity: The Roleplaying Game emblazoned on the front.
"I get to be Zoe," she says, glancing from the book to watch Nathan Fillion throw a punch on screen.
Quinn rolls her eyes. Santana always picks Zoe. "You could like, I don't know, be actually creative and create your own character this time."
"You could like, I don't know, shut the hell up and I won't punch you this time," Santana mimics.
Puck's eyes shift between them interestingly and over the sound of the TV they can both hear him chanting "fight, fight, fight" under his breath.
--
Rachel and Quinn's Apartment
When Quinn leaves early that morning telling Rachel that she needed to see Puck and probably wouldn't be back all day, the first thing Rachel did was dig out her box of collector edition Barbra Streisand DVDs. If Quinn wasn't going to be around all day, she was going to make the most of her Saturday.
By midday, she's completely involved in her second viewing of The Way We Were, her eyes watering because she knows what's coming at the end and she's already depressed about it, so she jumps, startled, when a loud pounding resounds through the room.
"Brittany!" Rachel says, surprised when she opens the door to reveal the tall blonde. Her eyes get even wider when she notices her friend seems to be holding a duck in her arms.
Brittany notices the look. "Santana bought me a duck," she offers.
"I see."
"Santana bought me a duck and now I'm...," she tilts her head up in thought. "What's the word?"
"Happy?"
"No," she denies, but her brow scrunches up after a second. "I mean yes. Happy. Ducks are great," she answers turning to give a little smile to her new duck friend. "But no, now I'm that other thing. The thing were I think Santana is up to something."
Paranoid, Rachel thinks. "Suspicious?"
"Yes, that," Brittany exclaims, pointing her finger at Rachel excitedly and pushing past her to walk into the apartment.
"Okay," Rachel drawls, shutting the door behind them and following Brittany into the living room. She's unsure of where this conversation is going but she's gotten so used to Brittany over the years that she knows to just sit back and wait until her friend gets to the point.
"Right, is Quinn here?"
Rachel shakes her head. "No, she's at Noah's."
Brittany gasps like she just heard surprising and horrible news. "Why is she at Puck's?"
"Apparently she was feeling depressed about the whole teenage pregnancy slash baby adoption thing, even though that was ages ago, but she felt that only Noah could truly understand what she's going through so she wanted to spend some time sorting out her feelings with him. Why she doesn't feel like she can talk to me I haven't a clue, but I just want her to be happy and if bonding with Noah today will make her that way than I am amenable to that solution."
"Oh," Brittany says, her blank expression telling Rachel that she didn't really catch most of that explanation but can't be bothered to ask for clarification.
"Where's Santana?"
The question puts a pout on her friend's face. "I don't know. I lost her again."
"I thought she bought you the duck," Rachel replies, pointing at the creature still in her friend's arms.
"She did. Then she left." Brittany's eyes glance around suspiciously like Santana might actually be in the apartment waiting to jump out at them. "She left and now I'm that thing, because she bought me a duck and then she left."
"Yes, I grasped that," states Rachel, nodding her head reassuringly. "Where do you think she is?"
Brittany shrugs. "I don't know. I thought she might be here."
"She's not."
"Right."
There's a long pause before Rachel offers, "Did you want me to help you look for her?"
When Brittany's eyes brighten and a smile spreads across her face, Rachel grabs her keys off the table and goes to find her shoes.
"Let's stop by Puck's first," Brittany says as they leave the apartment. Rachel doesn't think Santana is going to be there, but she's doing this to make Brittany happy and if stopping at Puck's will make her friend happy than so be it. Plus, she'll get to see Quinn, whom she hasn't seen in way too many hours. She takes her phone out of her pocket to send a quick text message to her girlfriend.
--
Puck's Apartment
"Hello, River is like crazy as all fuck. That is an advantage. She'd kick Cameron into next week," Santana argues, staring at Quinn like the blonde girl sprouted an extra head.
Puck grabs the remote and turns the volume up on his TV. Seriously. How their parties always result in Quinn and Santana engaged in epic "who would win in a fight?" arguments, he doesn't know.
"Cameron is a robot assassin," Quinn stresses, fiddling around with the a small replica of Serenity she put together with various Legos.
"Whatever, River Tam would kick everyone's asses and then laugh manically all over their robot corpses," Santana replies, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Puck," Quinn says, looking over at him. "Who do you think would win in a fight? River or Cameron."
He looks between the two of them and wonders again why the hell he always gets stuck in this position. Normally he'd be all for sticking himself in between two admittedly hot girls, but seriously, these girls always did him more harm than good.
When he feels Santana's feet dig into his thigh and sees Quinn get that twinge in her eye she always gets before she slaps him he puts his hands up defensively and says, "Summer Glau's hot."
The girls are clearly unimpressed with his non-answer answer and continue to glare at him for a bit but they seem to eventually accept it, both with a roll of their eyes. Then Quinn's phone beeps from it's place on the floor.
"Crap," Quinn exclaims when she checks the message. "Rachel's coming!"
"Say what?!" Puck jumps off the couch, throwing Santana's legs off of him.
"Why the hell is Berry coming here?" Santana asks, slight concern in her voice, but mostly amusement. Watching Quinn get in trouble with Rachel Berry would just never get old.
"She's bringing Brittany," Quinn answers, an arrogant smirk on her face as she looks at Santana.
"What?!" Santana jumps off the couch as she yells the question.
They're all standing in the living room, not really breathing, but eyes wide in fear as they stare at each other, waiting for someone to do something. When there's an audible knock on the door, they all jump simultaneously.
"Shit, clean this stuff up!" Puck scrambles towards the TV to turn it off, trying to grab DVD boxes as he goes.
"What are you doing? Answer the door," Quinn demands, shoving her Legos and action figures under the couch.
"Coming!" Puck yells through the apartment before turning back to Quinn and Santana. "Clean this shit up first, I am not fucking having those two walk into yet another nerdfest."
They work as fast as they can, Quinn making sure there are no more toys on the ground, Puck hiding his DVDs as best he can and Santana trying to find a place for all the books and notebooks full of character sheets and world designs.
"Quinn, take your shirt off!" Puck demands as he's about to leave the room.
"Puck, what the hell?"
His face screws up and he shakes his head around. "No," he states, staring pointedly at her. "Not that. You're wearing that dumb ass Fruity Oaty Bar shirt."
She looks down and low and behold she's wearing that shirt she bought at the last convention. "Crap!" Her hands whip the shirt over her head without a second thought. As she's searching desperately for a place to store the shirt she sees Puck try unsuccessfully to leave the room and has to fight the urge to laugh when he runs straight into the wall, staring at her the whole time.
Yeah, she's still got it.
"Puckerman, stop fucking drooling and go answer the door, Jesus!" Santana looks less than amused. Well, Santana looks normal.
He gets up and leaves, but not before sending another leer at Quinn. The girl is shirtless in his living room. Why wouldn't he make inappropriate faces at her?
Then he answers the door and comes face to face with Rachel Berry. Right. That's why.
Back in the living room Quinn and Santana can hear Puck greeting Brittany and Rachel, panic coursing through them as they try and come up with an excuse for why they're all together.
"You need a fucking shirt," Santana hisses, looking around the room like one might appear soon.
"Give me yours," Quinn demands in a forced whisper.
"What, no. How would that help?"
"Your sweatshirt, you moron. Give it," she replies, holding her hand out and tapping her foot impatiently. "Hurry up!" She can hear Puck attempting to stall in the entryway, but she knows Rachel will be in here in a minute.
Santana rips the sweatshirt off her head and throws it in Quinn's direction, adjusting her t-shirt and searching desperately for a reason to give to Brittany when she comes in.
Before either of them can come up with anything logical, but thankfully after Quinn gets the sweatshirt on, Brittany and Rachel enter the living room, Puck trailing behind them. When Rachel sees Santana her eyes widen in shock and she looks around the room quizzically, trying to figure out why Santana would even be there.
"Hey," Rachel greets, still kind of staring at Santana but coming around the couch and putting her arms around her girlfriend's waist.
"Hey, baby," Quinn answers, pressing a kiss to Rachel's forehead and trying to put an expression on her face that says I'm depressed about that old teen pregnancy thing and not I've spent the day worshiping at the altar of Joss Whedon.
"We came looking for Santana," explains Rachel as she watches the girl in question greet Brittany.
"Hey, Britt," Santana says, as innocently as Santana Lopez can sound. "Do you like the duck?"
"Yes," Brittany says, genuinely, holding the duck up for everyone to see. But when she brings it back down into her arms her eyes are narrowed and her bottom lip is sticking out. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping Quinn," Santana replies, gesturing at her friend. Which isn't totally a lie. Santana did help Quinn today. Except it wasn't anything like emotional or some bullshit like that. She helped her learn that River Tam is vastly superior to Cameron. Obviously.
"With what?" Brittany looks over at Quinn and tilts her head to the side. "Isn't that your sweatshirt?"
Rachel pulls back to look at the object in question, keeping her arms around Quinn. "Why are you wearing Santana's sweatshirt?" Rachel asks with sudden suspicion as if the sweatshirt was all the proof she needed that something else was going on in this living room.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Quinn was cold," Santana supplies, lamely.
Brittany still looks kind of confused as she continues to look at Santana with a pout on her face. "Why didn't you tell me where you were?"
"Sorry, babe. I lost track of time. Totally forgot," she answers, wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist and kissing her on the shoulder.
"Yeah, Quinn here's been a total fucking mess all day," Puck interjects.
"Yup, totally," Quinn affirms and she almost wants to slap herself with how stupid it all sounds.
Rachel's giving her a look that says yeah, this is kind of sketchy because she's pretty sure her facial expression is not something a depressed person would be wearing. It's hard to fake it for someone that has basically memorized the meaning of every single motion her face makes. Rachel's obsessive personality meant that after years of dating, she could read Quinn like a book.
"You've been a mess all day?" Rachel asks with something like concern in her voice. Quinn isn't fooled though, the look on Rachel's face says I've so put it all together now.
The brunette disengages from Quinn and walks towards the coffee table where they had failed to clear the beer bottles and pizza box. She picks up three empty Snickers wrappers, Quinn's favorite candy bar. "Eating your feelings, today?"
Quinn nods, smiles and continues to watch her girlfriend inspect the contents of the table, hoping she won't notice the small plastic leg of her Jayne figurine that's sticking out from under the couch.
"What's that?" Brittany asks suddenly, pointing at a piece of paper poking out from under the pizza box.
Rachel grabs it and pulls it out, studying it for a moment before Santana recognizes what it is and tries unsuccessfully to swipe it out of Rachel's hands.
Quinn stares at Santana trying to remember what the hell could be on that paper that has her friend so terrified when she remembers. They totally wrote the storyboard for their next roleplaying game campaign on that piece of paper. Shit.
"Rach," she starts.
"Who is Malcolm Reynolds?"
"Greatest Captain in the verse," Puck responds automatically. The guy needs to work on his nerd filter. "Uh, I mean..."
"Oh. My. God." Rachel says. "Is it Star Wars day again or something?"
"No," Santana answers, looking offended. "It's June, you moron."
"Watch it, Santana," Quinn snaps, coming to Rachel's defense.
"What's on the paper, Rachel?" Brittany asks, setting her duck down to wander around Puck's apartment.
Rachel hands the paper over to the taller girl for her to inspect and turns to look at Quinn expectantly. "So, it's," she pauses to check her phone. "June 23rd. What is going on today that requires you, Santana, and Puck to get together and have another nerd party."
"I don't know what you're talking about, baby," she says shrugging her shoulders innocently. It's worth a try at least.
"Uh huh," Rachel replies, walking back towards Quinn. "Then what-" her speaking is interrupted when she steps right on the little plastic leg sticking out from under the couch. She yelps and grabs her foot, nearly falling over before Quinn grabs her around the waist to keep her upright. "What was that?!"
Quinn throws a look at Puck, her eyes wide with warning because he better grab that action figure before someone discovers her stash of Legos but Brittany beats him to it.
"It's a doll," she states, twisting the thing around and studying it from all angles.
"Nerd Party!" Rachel exclaims, a triumphant finger wagging in Quinn's face as she continues to rub her foot. "Okay, Fabray," she says, her tone accusatory. "Full disclosure. What's actually going on?"
When Quinn fails to answer Rachel surveys the other two culprits. "Someone tell us."
Santana crosses her arms over her chest and flips her hair over her shoulder. If they're going to spill the beans about the day she is sure as hell not going to be the one that sounds stupid.
Quinn moves Rachel to the couch but doesn't answer, staring at Puck pleadingly.
"It's Joss Whedon's birthday," he mumbles.
"Who's Joss Whedon?" Brittany whispers to Santana.
"The Buffy guy?" Rachel says, her eyebrows raised. "You're having a nerd party for the Buffy guy."
"Okay, A," Santana joins, uncrossing one arm to wave it around in Rachel's direction. "He's way more than the 'Buffy guy' and B, so what if we are?"
Brittany puts the action figure on the table where she had discarded the paper earlier. "It's like Star Wars day?"
"Kind of," answers Puck, a sheepish expression on his face.
"Well what do you do?"
"We watch his shows and stuff," Puck says.
Quinn perks up. "Hey you guys want to watch-"
Halfway through the sentence Puck and Santana both jump forward, a loud "No!" leaving both of their lips.
There's a reason Santana didn't tell Brittany where she was going today and she glares at Quinn to remind her that there's a reason Rachel wasn't told either.
"Um," Quinn says once she realizes what she almost just said and remembers with clarity the pact she made with Santana a month ago. No more girlfriends at geekfests.
"Are you going to be watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog or any of his musically themed episodes?" Of course Rachel Berry is aware of Joss Whedon's musical contributions.
"Yeah we're doing the broadway tribute to Joss Whedon," Santana answers, her voice dripping with sarcasm as her eyes roll. It gets a chuckle out of Brittany even though she can't really follow what's going on.
"I was merely wondering if you were going to be watching any of his-"
"Rach," Quinn interrupts her, shaking her head.
"No," Puck huffs. "This is not fucking happening again. This is one day. One day where I get to do this and I'm having the fucking girls ruin it again. You two out." He points toward the doorway to his apartment. "Out," he demands.
Brittany looks hurt at being dismissed that way and Santana, expectantly, throws a look that tells him clearly I'm going to destroy you once Brittany isn't watching. When he sees her face he adds, "Please," and Santana ushers Brittany in the hallway to talk to her.
Rachel manages to look completely offended but she gets up to leave anyway. She's halfway out the room when she looks back at Quinn expectantly. "Quinn...," she trails off when she realizes her girlfriend isn't getting to leave.
"Rach, it's Joss Whedon's birthday," she tries, lamely. Plus, she's concerned she broke her Lego-Serenity when she pushed it under the couch. She can't leave.
"Quinn Fabray," Rachel looks at her, exasperated but can't stop the grin she feels crawling over her face. It's not particularly endearing that Quinn lied to her, but if she's completely honest with herself, Quinn's dorkiness is pretty cute. Kind of hot, actually.
With a glare for Puck, she walks back over to Quinn and brings her arms around the blonde girl's neck. "Fine, but don't stay out late," she says, punctuating it with a kiss. "Nerd." And with a wink over her shoulder she's gone.
Puck and Quinn stare at each other, both letting out long exhales when they hear the front door open and close, signaling Rachel's departure.
"Thank. God," Puck says as sits back down on the couch and finds the remote. "Now I can finally get my Whedon on in freakin' peace."
"Where did Santana go?"
They hear giggling and a dull thump as something hits the wall separating the living room and the entryway.
Puck's eyes go wide in realization. "Lopez, if you have sex in the front of my apartment, I will fucking cut you!"
--
Later that night, after Santana gets Brittany to leave (with the duck that they spend twenty minutes trying to find) and then punches Puck in the arm for totally cockblocking her, they watch the rest of Firefly they way they had planned and Quinn finishes an entire mockup of their roleplaying campaign with her Legos.
After Puck busts out some more beers and finds a bottle of tequila he had stashed in the cabinet, things start to get interesting.
First, Quinn decides they're going to play a drinking game, but she makes the mistake of letting Santana make the rules. With rules like drink every time someone says rutting or every time Jayne does something stupid they get drunk pretty fast.
Second, Puck decides that they have to sing at least one song from Dr. Horrible in between each episode. This gets pretty out of hand as the night goes on and at one point Santana ends up standing on the coffee table, singing Brand New Day, with vigor, at Quinn.
Last, as the last episode winds down and they're appropriately satisfied and depressed, they decide that the obvious thing to do next is try and learn Chinese. At 3AM, drunk as all hell, off of a sketchy website Puck pulls up on his phone. Suffice it to say, none of them will be professional translators in the future.
"You think the girls are pissed?" Santana's hanging off Quinn as they make their way out of Puck's apartment.
"Probably," Quinn muses.
There's a pause where the two of them are standing outside Puck's door, swaying a little with the liquor in their systems, and looking at each other.
"Gorram worth it, though."
Quinn grins.
--
A week later the five of them get together for dinner. It's not entirely unusual, they all live in the same city and get along relatively well, so a Wednesday night dinner had been established years ago. This week they're at some new restaurant that Rachel just had to try.
When their food arrives and Rachel observes the gourmet creation she had ordered her eyes widen with realization that it's not going to be the easiest thing to ingest. She's not really sure how she's going to get it from her plate to her mouth much less what's going to happen after.
Santana looks across the table at her, noticing her dilemma and smirks. "I told you," she says having told Rachel that the meal would be way too difficult to eat.
"Told her what?" Quinn asks, turning towards her girlfriend and regarding the plate in front of her.
Rachel looks up at Quinn and, with a completely straight face, says, "My food is problematic."
When Santana, Quinn and Puck can't stop laughing the rest of the meal, she has no idea why.