Bacon
Title: Bacon
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor/Romance/Fluff
Pairing(s): Rachel/Quinn
Summary: //’Quinn knew that Rachel had totally planned this.’//
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
Author’s Note: This isn’t serious. At all. It’s based off of this prompt over at the Rachel/Quinn Prompt Meme. I wrote it in a limited amount of time, because I have to go babysit my cousins in a few minutes, so I apologize for any typos I may have missed.
--- --- ---
Quinn knew that Rachel had totally planned this.
The brunette obviously bathed in bacon before coming to school, just so she could taunt Quinn. Rachel obviously knew that the smell of the delicious food was enough to pull Quinn in and pretty much hypnotize her. She knew. And Quinn thought that she had hidden her greatest weakness from everyone!
Of course, it wouldn't surprise the blonde at all if the shorter girl was some sort of mind reader...or a ninja, thus knowing about Quinn's weakness.
Bacon was so damn delicious, and Quinn couldn't fight its taunting scent, drawing her closer to Rachel. She sat next to her in the classes they shared and brushed by her in the hall against her will.
Yes, Rachel had definitely planned this form of torture.
During Glee, Quinn practically sprinted into the classroom so she could get a spot next to Rachel. She didn’t even bother to find a chair, settling on the floor next to the brunette, who was arguing with Kurt about who made the best Elphaba. Quinn didn’t care about the conversation, and thus didn’t listen to it, too focused on the smell of bacon.
Damn it! Quinn thought, still staring at Rachel, Why did she do this to me? What did I ever do to her? Besides, you know, the slushies and nicknames. Those things may have been bad, but this is cruel!
“Quinn, may I ask why you’re staring at me? Because it’s very impolite, and, if I were the kind to be easily bothered, it would also be very creepy,” Rachel said, pulling Quinn from her thoughts.
There was a pause, in which Quinn opened and closed her mouth like some sort of mentally challenged fish, before coming up with a response, “I was…I was just staring at your hideous face and laughing on the inside.”
“I see. I doubt that’s the truth, but I am not going to push the subject like some people would. Just know that if you are going to stare at people, try to be much less obvious,” Rachel probably would have started lecturing Quinn (or pulled out a power point presentation entitled ‘The Art of Staring At People in a Subtle Way’), but Mr. Shue walked into the room in that overly-enthusiastic way of his, and everyone fell silent.
A frown appeared over his face when he looked at Quinn, “Quinn, why aren’t you sitting on a chair?”
“Because…um…I developed a fear of chairs. I don’t like them anymore,” She explained, weakly, and everyone in the room gave her weird looks.
Rachel was the only one who didn’t look weirded out, launching into a classic Rachel speech, “While there is no scientific name for the fear of chairs, there is a name for the fear of sitting down. Quinn, you may have developed Cathisophobia, also spelled with a ‘K’.”
She would have gone on, but Brittany interrupted her, “Is there a fear of people who kill ducks? Because I don’t like them.”
Mr. Shue spoke up before Rachel could, clapping his hands together loudly so everyone would focus on him, “We could talk about phobias all day, or we could work on what we came here for-singing. Rachel, you said this morning that you had something?”
“Yes, I did,” Rachel responded, leaping to her feet. Quinn didn’t hear what she said, or what she sang. She was too focused on the fact that Rachel still smelled like bacon. The blonde couldn’t focus with that smell filling the room, and she was extremely glad that they didn’t have to work on dancing. If they did, then she probably would have faceplanted within the first thirty seconds.
After glee practice, Quinn had had it. She confronted Rachel in the bathroom, grabbing her by her arm and shouting, “Stop torturing me!”
“Quinn, I advise that this conversation would go more smoothly if you let go of me and explained what you’re so upset about in a regular speaking voice. While shouting works in some situations, it is not helping now-especially since I am right in front of you,” Rachel told her, and Quinn narrowed her eyes.
She didn’t release the other girl’s arms, but took a few deep breaths and spoke in a semi-calmer voice, “You’ve been torturing me all day. Stop acting so innocent and admit it!”
“I do not know how I have been torturing you, but I apologize. May I go now? It’s game night, and if I’m late, then I will have to forfeit to my Daddy. I cannot let him beat me at Monopoly two weeks in a row,” Rachel started, and was about to continue when Quinn kissed her.
The brunette gasped against Quinn’s lips, and the taller girl smirked. She was getting revenge for the torture that Rachel had put her through. The other girl still smelled like bacon, and Quinn had finally snapped. She was getting her revenge and satisfying her needs at the same time.
“You did it on purpose. You made yourself smell like bacon just to taunt me! You know I can’t resist it you stupid…mind-reading ninja!” Quinn said as she broke the kiss.
For once, Rachel looked genuinely weirded out, “I do not know why I smell like a type of meat, or why you think I am a mind-reading ninja. But I do know that I actually enjoyed kissing you. Can I do it again?”
“Yes,” Quinn replied, surprised that she didn’t care. Maybe it was the bacon smell getting to her brain, but she liked kissing Rachel-a lot-and she didn’t mind doing it again.
As Rachel pulled Quinn into another kiss, the blonde decided that the torture was definitely worth it.