Comments | lynxyoukai: essay

lynxyoukai

essay

Nov 28, 2005 10:00

( please read )

Comments 20

anduril_phoenix November 28 2005, 15:10:55 UTC

I like. Very good arguments. One thing I didn't see mentioned in here is the fact that all the crazy Christians want to go and say it's wrong because "God said so". That may be a good argument to add. But the essay is very good as is.

lynxyoukai November 28 2005, 15:16:52 UTC

i can't believe you read it that quick. i didn't add that in because i didn't really want to get into the religious thing because i said it shouldn't really be part of the issue...and i gave them the "right" to be against it for the reason "God said so"...i just said that can't use that to argue against it on the field

anduril_phoenix November 28 2005, 15:19:50 UTC

I see your point about not bringing up religion. Especially since most of your classmates are probably Christian.

lynxyoukai November 28 2005, 15:21:58 UTC

most likely...anyway, my "visual" will be a little risky anyway. it's gonna be a picket sign that says "GAY MARRIAGE, ALLOW IT. DON'T BE A DICK." lol ^_^

Thread 11

naede November 28 2005, 17:57:00 UTC

that is so cool did you really write it?...you should like send it to a newspaper or something and make them print it...it is that good!!! *HUGS*

lynxyoukai November 28 2005, 18:13:53 UTC

yes, of course i wrote it. thank you for the praise for it...i don't think any newspapers want to put it up...it is a very viotile issue -hugs back-

naede November 28 2005, 18:34:04 UTC

lol *HUGS TIGHT*

lynxyoukai November 28 2005, 18:34:44 UTC

^_^ -hugs back- :P

aphrael27 November 29 2005, 17:00:17 UTC

You made very good, bold, sound arguments using rational, logical and thought-provoking language. Well done. What class is it for?

lynxyoukai November 29 2005, 20:28:30 UTC

oh, it's for english. thanks for the praise

silverhawk100 November 30 2005, 23:21:59 UTC

Three things. First, don't include the second person at all, you were pretty good, except for the sentences (or at least, I caught it at these points): "Here, again, ask yourself these questions and you will clearly see that this argument is laughable." And "Any way you look at this argument you must see that it is discrimination to deny same-sex couples this right." Second person makes the essay (either intentionally or unintentionally) chatty. Chatty weakens your argument In fact, your argument sounds stronger if you only stick to the third person ( ... )

lynxyoukai December 2 2005, 15:34:01 UTC

thank you for the information...i have done as you said and i think it does make my paper a lot stronger. ^_^ thank you for all your ideas...i do think it has really strengthened my paper...oh anyway, what did you think of it as a whole?

silverhawk100 December 2 2005, 21:54:53 UTC

I thought that it was very matter of fact and up-close and personal, which is the general tone of the opposing side's arguments, so I found a little bit of irony in that. You do a good enough job taking a side and supporting it without slipping into the first step towards a shouting match (demonizing the other side). It's almost imbossible on an issue as charged as this to actually be completely impartial. I find that shutting my mouth often works, but that doesn't exactly work in the written form, does it?