SG-1 Fic: The Browncoat
Title:The Browncoat
Author: lyore
Pairing: None, this is pure, unadulterated gen-fic. Team-centric.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: SG-1 go see Serenity at the movies. Much discussion ensues, and Daniel discovers something about Teal’c - and Sam - he didn’t know. (Featuring: FTL101, Our Technology is Better than Your Technology, and How to Piss Off Your 2IC in Three Easy Steps.)
Notes: A massive thank you to redbyrd_sgfic for beta-ing this for me - it improved out of sight because of your input. Of course, then I went through and changed things, so any mistakes which remain are totally my fault. Also, thanks to bob_ette for doing a final read-through. Feedback would be marvelous, and concrit is even better.
Notes 2: OK, technically, Serenity was released in late 05, which would make it Season 8 of SG-1. For the purposes of this story, I’ve moved the release date of Firefly and Serenity up a few years, so the action in this story is set around early season four-ish.
---------
Daniel looked up from his survey of the corridor floor as the elevator doors opened. Seeing only two members of SG-4, he went back to studying the cement at his feet. As the elevator doors slid shut, a loud sigh from the opposite side of the corridor brought his attention back to the other member of SG-1 currently occupying the corridor.
“Would you stop that?”
Jack turned “Stop what?”
“You know. That.” Daniel waved his arm to encompass the back-and-forth path his companion had been tracing for the last 10 minutes.
Jack, however, still looked puzzled “That what?”
Daniel frowned “The pacing!”
“Oh, that.” Jack sauntered over to the opposite side of the corridor, propping himself up against the wall. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you. Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“It’s a movie, Daniel. It’ll be fine.”
“Well, you have to admit our last team ‘outing’ didn’t go exactly as planned.”
Jack looked exasperated. “And that’s why, this time, we haven’t involved any of our ‘allies’” he said, making quotation marks in the air with his fingers. “This time, there’s no Tok’ra, no alien armbands, no trouble. Just you, me, Carter, Teal’c, and a few hundred other folks, enjoying some nice, quiet downtime. Downtime which, I might add, should have started 15 minutes ago. They’re late.” Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and gazed around the corridor, as if expecting their missing teammates to materialise out of thin air.
Daniel glanced at his watch. “Teal’c said he was going to go past the lab and find Sam. I’m sure they’ll be here soon. What time was the movie, anyway? For that matter, what is the movie?”
“I didn’t tell you?”
“No”
“I must have.”
“No, you didn’t, Jack. Stop avoiding the question.”
Jack looked down. “I’m not sure. Teal’c picked it.”
Daniel sighed. “Sci-fi then.”
“That’d be a pretty fair bet.”
“Are you insane? You want to take Sam to see a sci-fi movie?”
“She promised she’d be good this time.”
“She promised…” Daniel narrowed his eyes. “So you remembered to tell Sam what we were going to see, but you forgot to tell me.”
“I told you, I told you!”
“No, you didn’t. Because if you had, I would have pointed out what happened last time we watched a sci-fi movie with Sam.”
“And if I’d told you, you would have found some sort of fascinating rocks which required your attention, or a set of translations which just had to be completed by tomorrow, or the earth as we know it would cease to exist. Not a chance, Daniel. ‘Team bonding’ means ‘team bonding’ - which means the entire team, not the team minus one archaeologist.” Jack paused. “Besides, Daniel, she wasn’t that bad.”
“That’s because she wasn’t sitting next to you. I could barely hear the movie over all the sighing and groaning. Not that I wanted to hear that movie…”
“Well, that’s all right then, isn’t it? You didn’t have to watch a movie you would have hated anyway, Carter got to have fun complaining about the stupidity of Hollywood science, and Teal’c got to see the latest Hollywood Sci-fi spectacular on the big screen. Something for everyone.” Jack rocked back on his heels, looking pleased with his logic.
“What about you?”
“What?”
“Something for everyone - what about you? What exactly did you get out of that night?”
“I liked it. It was fun.”
“Jack, you spent half that movie on an extended toilet break. And don’t think I didn’t see the way that usher was looking at you when we left. What were you doing?”
Jack had the grace to look slightly abashed. “Sitting out in the foyer, reading the hockey scores.”
“Jack...”
Jack shrugged. “Like I said, something for everybody.”
Daniel frowned at Jack and opened his mouth to reply, but looked up to see Teal’c approaching from the end of the corridor. In addition to wearing one of his impressive array of hats - this time an orange beanie with a delicate-looking pom-pom perched on top - the Jaffa was wearing a knee-length brown coat. The oversized pocket sewn onto the side bulged oddly as the Jaffa strode down the corridor.
Jack pushed himself away from the wall. “Hey, T! Nice coat. Where’s Carter?”
“MajorCarter was completing an investigation in her lab. However, she assured me she shall be here momentarily.”
Daniel looked at his watch again. “What time did you say the movie was?”
Teal’c frowned. “The movie is scheduled to commence at 1900 hrs. I believe we shall have sufficient time to purchase refreshments prior to the show, even if MajorCarter is further delayed.”
Daniel was slightly startled by the vehemence of Teal’c’s response. “I’m sure we will, Teal’c. I’m just checking.”
“Daniel just doesn’t want to miss anything, Teal’c,” Jack smirked at his friend.
Daniel shot an annoyed glance at the colonel. “Say, Teal’c - what exactly are we going to see? Jack was rather … sketchy with the details.”
Teal’c smiled slightly. Daniel thought the expression looked a little out of place on his normally sombre face - even when among his teammates, the Jaffa usually kept any display of emotion tightly controlled.
“The movie is named Serenity, DanielJackson. It is the sequel to a television series of superior quality, which was recently cancelled.”
Daniel frowned. If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought the Jaffa sounded … excited. Before he could question his teammate any further, Jack interrupted.
“Hey, whoa, Teal’c. We” Jack indicated Daniel and himself “haven’t seen the television series. I don’t think Carter has either, or we would have heard about it.”
“I am assured that this movie is suitable for those who have not yet viewed the show. However, I have recently procured a copy of the original series, so you may clarify any questions afterwards.” Teal’c produced a box from the bulging coat pocket, handling it gingerly.
Despite being ‘recently procured’, Daniel thought the box was showing suspicious signs of wear. He exchanged glances with Jack - clearly the colonel thought so too.
Jack grimaced. “Afterwards… right. How ‘bout you give us the cliff notes version now?”
Teal’c inclined his head slightly. “If you wish. The basic premise of the show is that…”
Before Teal’c could complete his explanation, he was interrupted by the appearance of Sam, jogging down the corridor towards them. “Sorry guys. Just had to finish calibrating the power monitor on the new ‘gate stabilisers. Turns out that one of the capacitors in the - ”
Jack held up a hand, halting her explanation in mid-flow. “Carter. Nice of you to join us. Ready to go?”
She nodded. “Yes sir. I just have to pick up my jacket when we pass the locker room.”
Jack clapped his hands together. “Alright then campers, let’s get this show on the rode. Teal’c, you can fill us in on the drive.”
------
As the lights in the theatre came up, Daniel stood and stretched his arms behind his back. Jack did likewise in the next seat over, while Sam busied herself with brushing the stray popcorn off her lap.
“Got a little jumpy, did we Carter?” Jack said, indicating the mess strewn across her seat.
Carter smiled sheepishly. “Just a little, Sir. Some parts were a little… unexpected.”
Daniel winced “I’ll say. Ouch.” He looked over at his silent teammate. “So, Teal’c, what did….” He trailed off. Teal’c was still sitting frozen in his seat, staring at the blank screen with an intense, focused expression. The soft light from the screen shimmered oddly in the Jaffa’s eyes, and his dark hands were tense, clenched around the armrests. “Teal’c?”
Teal’c blinked, and looked around. “DanielJackson?”
Daniel shook his head. “Never mind,” he said. With a pointed look at Jack, he continued “So, who’s place?” After SG-1 watched any sort of sci-fi movie, Jack insisted in retreating to somewhere more secure to lessen the risk of someone openly mentioning something sensitive during their post-movie discussions. Privately, Daniel thought the colonel had a point, given how heated Sam could get when discussing the new and interesting ways Hollywood had discovered to maul her area of expertise. Of course, he could be just as bad himself, he ruefully acknowledged - but just because he would admit that to himself, didn’t mean he had to admit it to Jack.
“How about mine?” Sam offered. “We can stop off at that coffee place - the new one over on Academy? - on the way.”
“Sounds good to me.” Daniel agreed.
Jack rolled his eyes “Of course it sounds good to you, Daniel, you’d go anywhere for coffee.”
Sam frowned “Is there something wrong with my house, Sir?”
“No, not at all. I’m just sayin’. Carter’s is fine, as long as Teal’c agrees, of course.” He made an exaggerated gesture towards the still-seated Jaffa.
Teal’c stood up slowly. “MajorCarter’s abode is agreeable to me.”
“Carter’s it is, then.” Jack motioned to Sam, “Lead on, Macduff.”
------
Half an hour later, the members of SG-1 were sprawled around Sam’s living room in various states of relaxation. Daniel and Sam had claimed one of the couches, while Jack had flopped in the recliner. Privately, Daniel was surprised that Jack hadn’t managed to lose his drink when he half-fell into the chair. Despite there being another free recliner, Teal’c had chosen to take up his customary pose on the floor. Daniel thought he still seemed faintly - distant, somehow.
“So?”
“Sir?”
“Jack?”
“I believe that O’Neill wishes to know our opinion of the movie.”
“Got it in one, Teal’c. What did people think?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel could see Teal’c’s gaze focussing on him and Sam. He paused a moment, before replying, “Not bad, I guess. Actually, I thought the portrayal of the evolution of the various ethnicities was fascinating, especially where…”
Jack pushed himself semi-upright, looking exasperated. “Geeze Daniel - It was a movie, not a textbook!” He looked over at Sam “Carter, how about you?”
Carter looked thoughtful. “Not bad. And there was no faster than light travel, at least.”
Jack sighed “Carter?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“You do remember what we do for a living, don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir. But wormhole travel isn’t really FTL, it’s more of a - shortcut, I guess. We don’t travel faster than light because we don’t really travel through space at all.”
“What about those big honkin’ spaceships, then?”
Sam looked down, avoiding Jack’s eyes. “We don’t know how that works,” she mumbled.
Jack raised his eyebrows “I’m sorry? I though you said you don’t know how it works?”
“I mean, it isn’t theoretically possible, sir. We know it works, we just… haven’t quite worked out how it works. Yet.”
“Sooo,” Jack drew out the word, looking incredulous “let me get this straight. We’ve travelled half way across the galaxy in a ship that theoretically doesn’t work.”
Sam looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Essentially, yes, sir. I do have some theories, but so far we haven’t been able to …”
“Why am I only just finding out about this? Didn’t it occur to anyone that this is the sort of thing a CO needs to know?”
“Uh, Jack….” Daniel interrupted, deciding it was about time he intervened.
“Yes, Daniel?”
“You did know. Or at least, she did tell you. After the whole Apophis-invading-Earth thing, remember?”
Jack frowned at him. “You know, I did have a lot on my mind back then. Something this important could have possibly been mentioned twice. Besides, doesn’t this” he waved his hand in the air vaguely, “bother you? Whole ships could go bang at any minute, and we’d have no idea why.”
Daniel smiled at Sam. “Not particularly. After all, the engines obviously work, so why worry about it?”
“C’mon, Teal’c, back me up here.”
Teal’c looked up from his cross-legged seat on the floor. “I have no concern about the safety or efficiency of Goa’uld ships, O’Neill. In my service to Apophis, I have heard of only one incident involving the failure of a hyperspace engine. It was believed that accident was due to sabotage.”
Sam looked interested. “Really? What do they think happened?”
“I am unsure. All involved were executed.”
“Oh.” Sam was silent for a second, before her expression lightened. “Besides, Sir, I think that once I have a chance to incorporate the energy field created by the ship’s hyperspace engines into the relativistic expressions for …”
A hand in the air brought her up short. “That’s very nice, Carter. But right now, as of this moment, you don’t know how it works.”
Sam sighed. “No Sir.”
Jack smiled smugly. “That’s all I wanted to know, Major.”
The foursome sat in silence for a while. Daniel looked around at his teammates. While Sam stared intently into her coffee mug, perhaps contemplating the vagaries of Goa’uld FTL drives - or the best ways of dealing with irritating COs -Teal’c still seemed preoccupied. Although, Daniel reflected, even after four years, it was still hard to read the Jaffa’s expression.
Jack took a gulp from his cup, and broke the silence. “So, not only do we have FTL engines and they don’t, our robots are better than their robots.”
Sam looked up from her coffee in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“Cmon, Harlan’s tin men are so much more convincing than that ‘LoveBot’” Jack snorted.
"The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent," Daniel murmured. “Besides, I wasn’t aware there was a contest, Jack.”
“And we don’t have any psychic assassins” Sam added. “Or mind-altering drugs - well, nothing like their ‘Pax’, anyway.” She shuddered. “Can you image what a Goa’uld would do with something like that?”
“I’d rather not,” Daniel said, feeling rather sick at the thought. Nishta was bad enough…
“You need not worry, DanielJackson. So far, all attempts by the Goa’uld to synthesise such a drug have been futile.”
“So far… perhaps we should send them a copy of the movie to convince them what a bad idea it is.”
“The Goa’uld do not possess the technology to view such a recording. And I do not believe they would be swayed from their path by such evidence.”
“I don’t know, Teal’c. Bunch of psycho cannibals would have to be just about as bad for business up there as down here,“ Jack snorted.
“They may not see it that way, O’Neill. Such creatures would be a valuable addition to an army, could their aggression be harnessed. And, after the events of recent years, I believe they would find docile humans to be of high value.” Teal’c smiled slightly.
“Yeah, cause they sure aren’t handling un-docile humans too well,” Jack crowed triumphantly.
“Indeed,” Teal’c inclined his head slightly in agreement with the colonel.
“You know, the Alliance could have been Goa’uld,” Daniel said suddenly.
“Huh?” Jack looked at Daniel questioningly.
“Well, they were aggressively pursuing the domination of other societies.”
“That’s what countries and governments do, Daniel. Well, the bad ones, anyway. Somehow, I don’t think the movie included Goa’uld.”
“They did use experimentation to create human weapons, Sir. And we know the Goa’uld have done the same sort of thing.” Sam’s eyes darkened, and Daniel knew she was thinking about Cassie. “Technically speaking, apart from the lack of FTL, the Alliance society seems at least superficially comparable to that of the Gao’uld.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “You know, I don’t think that some guy hacked into the Stargate files, read all our mission reports, and then decided to base his movie on it - while leaving out the best bit.”
“Best bit?” Sam asked quizzically.
“SG-1, of course. Who’d go to all that trouble just to leave out the heroes?” Jack looked affronted at the thought.
Sam smiled into her coffee, as Daniel chuckled. “Perish the thought, Jack.”
“Series.” Teal’c gazed at them somberly.
“Sorry, Teal’c?”
“Your theory is flawed, O’Neill. There was, in fact, a series first, as I previously mentioned.” He produced the box again, and handed it to Jack.
“Yeah, you mentioned. But what’s the point of watching it now, anyway? We already know how it ends,” Jack tossed the box back to Teal’c.
“The series incorporates many complex and intriguing plotlines, and encompasses much character development. Viewing of the series adds great depth to the experience of the movie. You would be wise to view it before re-watching the movie.” Teal’c held Jack’s gaze steadily, but Daniel thought he saw a hint of fire in the Jaff’a’s dark eyes.
Jack threw up his hands. “Again! I’ve already seen it, Teal’c. I don’t need to watch it again.”
Daniel glanced at Sam, and met her eyes briefly before hiding his amusement behind his mug. Sam dropped her head, and continued to observe her arguing teammates from under her bangs.
“I have found there is greater enjoyment in the repeat viewing,” Teal’c said stubbornly.
“You’ve found…” Jack narrowed his eyes. “How many times have you seen this movie, Teal’c?”
“Prior to today, I have seen this movie three times.” Teal’c stated serenely.
“Three! I thought you said the movie only came out last week?”
“That is correct, O’Neill.”
“Oh, for crying out loud! You’re getting to be as bad as those two!” the colonel exclaimed, throwing his arm out towards Daniel and Sam.
Daniel jerked his head up. “Us! What’d we do?”
“You know, all your geeky hobby things.” Jack waved his hands around again, trying to encapsulate all things intellectual in the sweep of his arms. “You all need to get a life, or even the overwhelming coolness of me won’t be enough to save you from terminal geekdom.”
“I’m quite happy with my hobbies,” Daniel replied mildly. “And Sam rides motorbikes and picks locks in her spare time - that doesn’t seem very geek-like to me.”
Jack looked around at his 2IC and caught the dark glare being directed his way. “Sorry, my mistake,” he bowed awkwardly in her direction from his seated position. After she looked away, he mumbled “But you all still need to get a life.”
Sam stood up and looked pointedly at her watch. “You know, Sir, it’s getting rather late.” She waited expectantly.
“Nice work, Jack,” Daniel muttered, as he stood.
As he pushed himself out of the chair, Jack looked over to Teal’c, who hadn’t moved from the floor. “T, you want a lift back to the base?”
“That will not be necessary, O’Neill. MajorCarter has invited me to spend the night.”
Jack froze, mouth half-open. He pivoted slowly on his heel to look at Sam, who was rapidly turning a brilliant shade of red.
“Teal’c is staying to watch the some of the series, Sir,” Sam explained quickly.
“Really?” Jack drew out the word slowly, and then grimaced as Sam frowned at him.
“Daniel said he had some reading to catch up on, and we… err… figured you wouldn’t want to come,” she elaborated.
“You’re right about that part anyway. So, Daniel, shall we? I can tell when we’re not wanted,” Jack said, acting affronted.
Daniel smothered a smile. “I think we’d better, if you want to escape watching anymore sci-fi tonight.” Teal’c frowned at his choice of words, but said nothing.
“Teal’c, I think I have some popcorn in the cupboard, if you want it,” Sam said quickly.
“Some popcorn would indeed be most enjoyable” Teal’c replied, his gaze remaining fixed on the Colonel.
Jack opened his mouth. Not waiting to hear his reply, Daniel grabbed his mug and followed Sam into the kitchen.
As he started to rinse out his mug, he commented “Teal’c seems awfully … attached to this movie.”
“He’s a fan, Daniel. Getting overly attached to TV shows is what they do.” Sam replied, rummaging through the cupboard. “It’s not really that surprising, when you think about it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“When Teal’c decided to turn against the Goa’uld, he did it by opening fire on his own forces and then joining with their most hated enemies. Or when he decided to learn the rules of our military, he read all the rules and regs in a few weeks. Whenever Teal’c decides to do something, he does it wholeheartedly. Why should getting interested in a TV show be any different? Ah, found it!” She turned, holding the bag of popcorn triumphantly.
“I see your point.” Daniel put the now-clean mug down on the bench. “But… a fan?”
Sam smiled. “There’s quite a lot of them around on-line. Did you notice the coat? Apparently, fans of this series call themselves ‘Browncoats’.”
Daniel nodded in understanding. “Visual recognition of social groups. That makes sense.”
“Really, it’s no different from the Colonel and his hockey, when you think about it.”
“I’ve never understood that, either,” Daniel muttered, as they walked back into the living room, Sam heading straight for the TV.
Jack looked around as they entered the room. “So, Daniel, you ready to hit the road?”
“Sure. Night, guys.”
Sam looked up from the DVD player. “Bye, Daniel. Goodnight, Sir.”
Jack waved vaguely at his 2IC, and then looked firmly at Teal’c. “I expect you to get some quality Kel-no-reem, Teal’c. No staying up all night watching that show.” With this parting shot, he headed for the door.
Daniel started to follow Jack out the door, but paused to look around on the threshold. “Hey Sam?”
Sam turned around, looking quizzical.
“How did you know they were called Browncoats?”
Author: lyore
Pairing: None, this is pure, unadulterated gen-fic. Team-centric.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: SG-1 go see Serenity at the movies. Much discussion ensues, and Daniel discovers something about Teal’c - and Sam - he didn’t know. (Featuring: FTL101, Our Technology is Better than Your Technology, and How to Piss Off Your 2IC in Three Easy Steps.)
Notes: A massive thank you to redbyrd_sgfic for beta-ing this for me - it improved out of sight because of your input. Of course, then I went through and changed things, so any mistakes which remain are totally my fault. Also, thanks to bob_ette for doing a final read-through. Feedback would be marvelous, and concrit is even better.
Notes 2: OK, technically, Serenity was released in late 05, which would make it Season 8 of SG-1. For the purposes of this story, I’ve moved the release date of Firefly and Serenity up a few years, so the action in this story is set around early season four-ish.
---------
Daniel looked up from his survey of the corridor floor as the elevator doors opened. Seeing only two members of SG-4, he went back to studying the cement at his feet. As the elevator doors slid shut, a loud sigh from the opposite side of the corridor brought his attention back to the other member of SG-1 currently occupying the corridor.
“Would you stop that?”
Jack turned “Stop what?”
“You know. That.” Daniel waved his arm to encompass the back-and-forth path his companion had been tracing for the last 10 minutes.
Jack, however, still looked puzzled “That what?”
Daniel frowned “The pacing!”
“Oh, that.” Jack sauntered over to the opposite side of the corridor, propping himself up against the wall. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you. Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“It’s a movie, Daniel. It’ll be fine.”
“Well, you have to admit our last team ‘outing’ didn’t go exactly as planned.”
Jack looked exasperated. “And that’s why, this time, we haven’t involved any of our ‘allies’” he said, making quotation marks in the air with his fingers. “This time, there’s no Tok’ra, no alien armbands, no trouble. Just you, me, Carter, Teal’c, and a few hundred other folks, enjoying some nice, quiet downtime. Downtime which, I might add, should have started 15 minutes ago. They’re late.” Jack shoved his hands into his pockets and gazed around the corridor, as if expecting their missing teammates to materialise out of thin air.
Daniel glanced at his watch. “Teal’c said he was going to go past the lab and find Sam. I’m sure they’ll be here soon. What time was the movie, anyway? For that matter, what is the movie?”
“I didn’t tell you?”
“No”
“I must have.”
“No, you didn’t, Jack. Stop avoiding the question.”
Jack looked down. “I’m not sure. Teal’c picked it.”
Daniel sighed. “Sci-fi then.”
“That’d be a pretty fair bet.”
“Are you insane? You want to take Sam to see a sci-fi movie?”
“She promised she’d be good this time.”
“She promised…” Daniel narrowed his eyes. “So you remembered to tell Sam what we were going to see, but you forgot to tell me.”
“I told you, I told you!”
“No, you didn’t. Because if you had, I would have pointed out what happened last time we watched a sci-fi movie with Sam.”
“And if I’d told you, you would have found some sort of fascinating rocks which required your attention, or a set of translations which just had to be completed by tomorrow, or the earth as we know it would cease to exist. Not a chance, Daniel. ‘Team bonding’ means ‘team bonding’ - which means the entire team, not the team minus one archaeologist.” Jack paused. “Besides, Daniel, she wasn’t that bad.”
“That’s because she wasn’t sitting next to you. I could barely hear the movie over all the sighing and groaning. Not that I wanted to hear that movie…”
“Well, that’s all right then, isn’t it? You didn’t have to watch a movie you would have hated anyway, Carter got to have fun complaining about the stupidity of Hollywood science, and Teal’c got to see the latest Hollywood Sci-fi spectacular on the big screen. Something for everyone.” Jack rocked back on his heels, looking pleased with his logic.
“What about you?”
“What?”
“Something for everyone - what about you? What exactly did you get out of that night?”
“I liked it. It was fun.”
“Jack, you spent half that movie on an extended toilet break. And don’t think I didn’t see the way that usher was looking at you when we left. What were you doing?”
Jack had the grace to look slightly abashed. “Sitting out in the foyer, reading the hockey scores.”
“Jack...”
Jack shrugged. “Like I said, something for everybody.”
Daniel frowned at Jack and opened his mouth to reply, but looked up to see Teal’c approaching from the end of the corridor. In addition to wearing one of his impressive array of hats - this time an orange beanie with a delicate-looking pom-pom perched on top - the Jaffa was wearing a knee-length brown coat. The oversized pocket sewn onto the side bulged oddly as the Jaffa strode down the corridor.
Jack pushed himself away from the wall. “Hey, T! Nice coat. Where’s Carter?”
“MajorCarter was completing an investigation in her lab. However, she assured me she shall be here momentarily.”
Daniel looked at his watch again. “What time did you say the movie was?”
Teal’c frowned. “The movie is scheduled to commence at 1900 hrs. I believe we shall have sufficient time to purchase refreshments prior to the show, even if MajorCarter is further delayed.”
Daniel was slightly startled by the vehemence of Teal’c’s response. “I’m sure we will, Teal’c. I’m just checking.”
“Daniel just doesn’t want to miss anything, Teal’c,” Jack smirked at his friend.
Daniel shot an annoyed glance at the colonel. “Say, Teal’c - what exactly are we going to see? Jack was rather … sketchy with the details.”
Teal’c smiled slightly. Daniel thought the expression looked a little out of place on his normally sombre face - even when among his teammates, the Jaffa usually kept any display of emotion tightly controlled.
“The movie is named Serenity, DanielJackson. It is the sequel to a television series of superior quality, which was recently cancelled.”
Daniel frowned. If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought the Jaffa sounded … excited. Before he could question his teammate any further, Jack interrupted.
“Hey, whoa, Teal’c. We” Jack indicated Daniel and himself “haven’t seen the television series. I don’t think Carter has either, or we would have heard about it.”
“I am assured that this movie is suitable for those who have not yet viewed the show. However, I have recently procured a copy of the original series, so you may clarify any questions afterwards.” Teal’c produced a box from the bulging coat pocket, handling it gingerly.
Despite being ‘recently procured’, Daniel thought the box was showing suspicious signs of wear. He exchanged glances with Jack - clearly the colonel thought so too.
Jack grimaced. “Afterwards… right. How ‘bout you give us the cliff notes version now?”
Teal’c inclined his head slightly. “If you wish. The basic premise of the show is that…”
Before Teal’c could complete his explanation, he was interrupted by the appearance of Sam, jogging down the corridor towards them. “Sorry guys. Just had to finish calibrating the power monitor on the new ‘gate stabilisers. Turns out that one of the capacitors in the - ”
Jack held up a hand, halting her explanation in mid-flow. “Carter. Nice of you to join us. Ready to go?”
She nodded. “Yes sir. I just have to pick up my jacket when we pass the locker room.”
Jack clapped his hands together. “Alright then campers, let’s get this show on the rode. Teal’c, you can fill us in on the drive.”
------
As the lights in the theatre came up, Daniel stood and stretched his arms behind his back. Jack did likewise in the next seat over, while Sam busied herself with brushing the stray popcorn off her lap.
“Got a little jumpy, did we Carter?” Jack said, indicating the mess strewn across her seat.
Carter smiled sheepishly. “Just a little, Sir. Some parts were a little… unexpected.”
Daniel winced “I’ll say. Ouch.” He looked over at his silent teammate. “So, Teal’c, what did….” He trailed off. Teal’c was still sitting frozen in his seat, staring at the blank screen with an intense, focused expression. The soft light from the screen shimmered oddly in the Jaffa’s eyes, and his dark hands were tense, clenched around the armrests. “Teal’c?”
Teal’c blinked, and looked around. “DanielJackson?”
Daniel shook his head. “Never mind,” he said. With a pointed look at Jack, he continued “So, who’s place?” After SG-1 watched any sort of sci-fi movie, Jack insisted in retreating to somewhere more secure to lessen the risk of someone openly mentioning something sensitive during their post-movie discussions. Privately, Daniel thought the colonel had a point, given how heated Sam could get when discussing the new and interesting ways Hollywood had discovered to maul her area of expertise. Of course, he could be just as bad himself, he ruefully acknowledged - but just because he would admit that to himself, didn’t mean he had to admit it to Jack.
“How about mine?” Sam offered. “We can stop off at that coffee place - the new one over on Academy? - on the way.”
“Sounds good to me.” Daniel agreed.
Jack rolled his eyes “Of course it sounds good to you, Daniel, you’d go anywhere for coffee.”
Sam frowned “Is there something wrong with my house, Sir?”
“No, not at all. I’m just sayin’. Carter’s is fine, as long as Teal’c agrees, of course.” He made an exaggerated gesture towards the still-seated Jaffa.
Teal’c stood up slowly. “MajorCarter’s abode is agreeable to me.”
“Carter’s it is, then.” Jack motioned to Sam, “Lead on, Macduff.”
------
Half an hour later, the members of SG-1 were sprawled around Sam’s living room in various states of relaxation. Daniel and Sam had claimed one of the couches, while Jack had flopped in the recliner. Privately, Daniel was surprised that Jack hadn’t managed to lose his drink when he half-fell into the chair. Despite there being another free recliner, Teal’c had chosen to take up his customary pose on the floor. Daniel thought he still seemed faintly - distant, somehow.
“So?”
“Sir?”
“Jack?”
“I believe that O’Neill wishes to know our opinion of the movie.”
“Got it in one, Teal’c. What did people think?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Daniel could see Teal’c’s gaze focussing on him and Sam. He paused a moment, before replying, “Not bad, I guess. Actually, I thought the portrayal of the evolution of the various ethnicities was fascinating, especially where…”
Jack pushed himself semi-upright, looking exasperated. “Geeze Daniel - It was a movie, not a textbook!” He looked over at Sam “Carter, how about you?”
Carter looked thoughtful. “Not bad. And there was no faster than light travel, at least.”
Jack sighed “Carter?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“You do remember what we do for a living, don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir. But wormhole travel isn’t really FTL, it’s more of a - shortcut, I guess. We don’t travel faster than light because we don’t really travel through space at all.”
“What about those big honkin’ spaceships, then?”
Sam looked down, avoiding Jack’s eyes. “We don’t know how that works,” she mumbled.
Jack raised his eyebrows “I’m sorry? I though you said you don’t know how it works?”
“I mean, it isn’t theoretically possible, sir. We know it works, we just… haven’t quite worked out how it works. Yet.”
“Sooo,” Jack drew out the word, looking incredulous “let me get this straight. We’ve travelled half way across the galaxy in a ship that theoretically doesn’t work.”
Sam looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Essentially, yes, sir. I do have some theories, but so far we haven’t been able to …”
“Why am I only just finding out about this? Didn’t it occur to anyone that this is the sort of thing a CO needs to know?”
“Uh, Jack….” Daniel interrupted, deciding it was about time he intervened.
“Yes, Daniel?”
“You did know. Or at least, she did tell you. After the whole Apophis-invading-Earth thing, remember?”
Jack frowned at him. “You know, I did have a lot on my mind back then. Something this important could have possibly been mentioned twice. Besides, doesn’t this” he waved his hand in the air vaguely, “bother you? Whole ships could go bang at any minute, and we’d have no idea why.”
Daniel smiled at Sam. “Not particularly. After all, the engines obviously work, so why worry about it?”
“C’mon, Teal’c, back me up here.”
Teal’c looked up from his cross-legged seat on the floor. “I have no concern about the safety or efficiency of Goa’uld ships, O’Neill. In my service to Apophis, I have heard of only one incident involving the failure of a hyperspace engine. It was believed that accident was due to sabotage.”
Sam looked interested. “Really? What do they think happened?”
“I am unsure. All involved were executed.”
“Oh.” Sam was silent for a second, before her expression lightened. “Besides, Sir, I think that once I have a chance to incorporate the energy field created by the ship’s hyperspace engines into the relativistic expressions for …”
A hand in the air brought her up short. “That’s very nice, Carter. But right now, as of this moment, you don’t know how it works.”
Sam sighed. “No Sir.”
Jack smiled smugly. “That’s all I wanted to know, Major.”
The foursome sat in silence for a while. Daniel looked around at his teammates. While Sam stared intently into her coffee mug, perhaps contemplating the vagaries of Goa’uld FTL drives - or the best ways of dealing with irritating COs -Teal’c still seemed preoccupied. Although, Daniel reflected, even after four years, it was still hard to read the Jaffa’s expression.
Jack took a gulp from his cup, and broke the silence. “So, not only do we have FTL engines and they don’t, our robots are better than their robots.”
Sam looked up from her coffee in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“Cmon, Harlan’s tin men are so much more convincing than that ‘LoveBot’” Jack snorted.
"The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent," Daniel murmured. “Besides, I wasn’t aware there was a contest, Jack.”
“And we don’t have any psychic assassins” Sam added. “Or mind-altering drugs - well, nothing like their ‘Pax’, anyway.” She shuddered. “Can you image what a Goa’uld would do with something like that?”
“I’d rather not,” Daniel said, feeling rather sick at the thought. Nishta was bad enough…
“You need not worry, DanielJackson. So far, all attempts by the Goa’uld to synthesise such a drug have been futile.”
“So far… perhaps we should send them a copy of the movie to convince them what a bad idea it is.”
“The Goa’uld do not possess the technology to view such a recording. And I do not believe they would be swayed from their path by such evidence.”
“I don’t know, Teal’c. Bunch of psycho cannibals would have to be just about as bad for business up there as down here,“ Jack snorted.
“They may not see it that way, O’Neill. Such creatures would be a valuable addition to an army, could their aggression be harnessed. And, after the events of recent years, I believe they would find docile humans to be of high value.” Teal’c smiled slightly.
“Yeah, cause they sure aren’t handling un-docile humans too well,” Jack crowed triumphantly.
“Indeed,” Teal’c inclined his head slightly in agreement with the colonel.
“You know, the Alliance could have been Goa’uld,” Daniel said suddenly.
“Huh?” Jack looked at Daniel questioningly.
“Well, they were aggressively pursuing the domination of other societies.”
“That’s what countries and governments do, Daniel. Well, the bad ones, anyway. Somehow, I don’t think the movie included Goa’uld.”
“They did use experimentation to create human weapons, Sir. And we know the Goa’uld have done the same sort of thing.” Sam’s eyes darkened, and Daniel knew she was thinking about Cassie. “Technically speaking, apart from the lack of FTL, the Alliance society seems at least superficially comparable to that of the Gao’uld.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “You know, I don’t think that some guy hacked into the Stargate files, read all our mission reports, and then decided to base his movie on it - while leaving out the best bit.”
“Best bit?” Sam asked quizzically.
“SG-1, of course. Who’d go to all that trouble just to leave out the heroes?” Jack looked affronted at the thought.
Sam smiled into her coffee, as Daniel chuckled. “Perish the thought, Jack.”
“Series.” Teal’c gazed at them somberly.
“Sorry, Teal’c?”
“Your theory is flawed, O’Neill. There was, in fact, a series first, as I previously mentioned.” He produced the box again, and handed it to Jack.
“Yeah, you mentioned. But what’s the point of watching it now, anyway? We already know how it ends,” Jack tossed the box back to Teal’c.
“The series incorporates many complex and intriguing plotlines, and encompasses much character development. Viewing of the series adds great depth to the experience of the movie. You would be wise to view it before re-watching the movie.” Teal’c held Jack’s gaze steadily, but Daniel thought he saw a hint of fire in the Jaff’a’s dark eyes.
Jack threw up his hands. “Again! I’ve already seen it, Teal’c. I don’t need to watch it again.”
Daniel glanced at Sam, and met her eyes briefly before hiding his amusement behind his mug. Sam dropped her head, and continued to observe her arguing teammates from under her bangs.
“I have found there is greater enjoyment in the repeat viewing,” Teal’c said stubbornly.
“You’ve found…” Jack narrowed his eyes. “How many times have you seen this movie, Teal’c?”
“Prior to today, I have seen this movie three times.” Teal’c stated serenely.
“Three! I thought you said the movie only came out last week?”
“That is correct, O’Neill.”
“Oh, for crying out loud! You’re getting to be as bad as those two!” the colonel exclaimed, throwing his arm out towards Daniel and Sam.
Daniel jerked his head up. “Us! What’d we do?”
“You know, all your geeky hobby things.” Jack waved his hands around again, trying to encapsulate all things intellectual in the sweep of his arms. “You all need to get a life, or even the overwhelming coolness of me won’t be enough to save you from terminal geekdom.”
“I’m quite happy with my hobbies,” Daniel replied mildly. “And Sam rides motorbikes and picks locks in her spare time - that doesn’t seem very geek-like to me.”
Jack looked around at his 2IC and caught the dark glare being directed his way. “Sorry, my mistake,” he bowed awkwardly in her direction from his seated position. After she looked away, he mumbled “But you all still need to get a life.”
Sam stood up and looked pointedly at her watch. “You know, Sir, it’s getting rather late.” She waited expectantly.
“Nice work, Jack,” Daniel muttered, as he stood.
As he pushed himself out of the chair, Jack looked over to Teal’c, who hadn’t moved from the floor. “T, you want a lift back to the base?”
“That will not be necessary, O’Neill. MajorCarter has invited me to spend the night.”
Jack froze, mouth half-open. He pivoted slowly on his heel to look at Sam, who was rapidly turning a brilliant shade of red.
“Teal’c is staying to watch the some of the series, Sir,” Sam explained quickly.
“Really?” Jack drew out the word slowly, and then grimaced as Sam frowned at him.
“Daniel said he had some reading to catch up on, and we… err… figured you wouldn’t want to come,” she elaborated.
“You’re right about that part anyway. So, Daniel, shall we? I can tell when we’re not wanted,” Jack said, acting affronted.
Daniel smothered a smile. “I think we’d better, if you want to escape watching anymore sci-fi tonight.” Teal’c frowned at his choice of words, but said nothing.
“Teal’c, I think I have some popcorn in the cupboard, if you want it,” Sam said quickly.
“Some popcorn would indeed be most enjoyable” Teal’c replied, his gaze remaining fixed on the Colonel.
Jack opened his mouth. Not waiting to hear his reply, Daniel grabbed his mug and followed Sam into the kitchen.
As he started to rinse out his mug, he commented “Teal’c seems awfully … attached to this movie.”
“He’s a fan, Daniel. Getting overly attached to TV shows is what they do.” Sam replied, rummaging through the cupboard. “It’s not really that surprising, when you think about it.”
“I’m sorry?”
“When Teal’c decided to turn against the Goa’uld, he did it by opening fire on his own forces and then joining with their most hated enemies. Or when he decided to learn the rules of our military, he read all the rules and regs in a few weeks. Whenever Teal’c decides to do something, he does it wholeheartedly. Why should getting interested in a TV show be any different? Ah, found it!” She turned, holding the bag of popcorn triumphantly.
“I see your point.” Daniel put the now-clean mug down on the bench. “But… a fan?”
Sam smiled. “There’s quite a lot of them around on-line. Did you notice the coat? Apparently, fans of this series call themselves ‘Browncoats’.”
Daniel nodded in understanding. “Visual recognition of social groups. That makes sense.”
“Really, it’s no different from the Colonel and his hockey, when you think about it.”
“I’ve never understood that, either,” Daniel muttered, as they walked back into the living room, Sam heading straight for the TV.
Jack looked around as they entered the room. “So, Daniel, you ready to hit the road?”
“Sure. Night, guys.”
Sam looked up from the DVD player. “Bye, Daniel. Goodnight, Sir.”
Jack waved vaguely at his 2IC, and then looked firmly at Teal’c. “I expect you to get some quality Kel-no-reem, Teal’c. No staying up all night watching that show.” With this parting shot, he headed for the door.
Daniel started to follow Jack out the door, but paused to look around on the threshold. “Hey Sam?”
Sam turned around, looking quizzical.
“How did you know they were called Browncoats?”